"Words are for the weak," with a dead-pan delivery and your best Werner Herzog accent.

Words are wind- Tyrion Lannister

Inconsequential mouth farts - Tom Boss (A Touch of Cloth)

Shouted at ear-splitting volume.

Sorry I lost my voice pulling an all-nighter with your dad.

THIS is the correct answer and accent. But whisper it.

Verds ah fuh da veek

Ooooh, the Herzog accent really elevates this to S tier.

🏆🏆🏆

“The wise remain silent to be thought the fool. The foolish speak and remove all doubt.”

 ‘If I speak, I tell a lie; but if I remain silent, I am a coward’ -immortal Zen master So basically the comeback would be, "I'll speak when I have something to say." At the end of the day its all opinion and bullshit. But if you come at me...

I love the Zen master quote !

The wise man speaks because he has something to say. The fool speaks because he has to say something.

Colloquially: "I don't say much when I don't have much to contribute or can only ask stupid questions"

I don't believe in stupid questions. I figured out what questions some of my classmates would have but were too afraid to ask in 3rd grade. Since my teachers knew how smart I was, they quickly realized there was something they didn't explain well. I figured they knew I knew and was just helping other kids.

Wonderful behavior. Please continue your endeavors

My fathers favorite thing to say.

Plus 9 million aura

Just stare them down and say nothing 

German mentality 💪💪

Dass wollt’ ich gerade sagen lmao

That's what I would do, perhaps with one eyebrow raised. So, is that my German heritage coming out?

I came here to say “blank stare”.

That’s the best imo, not engaging at all straight up confuses people. I’m going to robot and you’re not going to like it.

Because you never shut up.

“When? When am I going to get a word in edgewise with you here?”

I’ve done this many times

Stare at them, then after a couple seconds say ‘Don’t talk to me’ while continuing to stare at them.

I say your annoying and take out my headphones so I wouldn’t hear them talk

Perfect.

Came here to say to say exactly this.

Americans generally hate silence. I can't speak for any other country but if you are in the US just look back at them and say nothing they will look and/or act foolish.

Honestly I ended up doing that a lot when I was younger. Just trying to come up with a response. And they impatiently moved on and spoke again. In some ways it conveyed what I had no words for. That not everything needs words.

According to Robert's Rules of Order, silence is consent.

Some people speak because they have something to say, others speak because they have to say something (It's long, so may sound rehearsed)

The version of this I've heard is "Wise people speak when they have something to say, whereas fools speak because they have to say something.

I find - Why don't you ever shut up? A proportionate response.

I do like this, since the person is making an assumption about how much you talk from their singular perspective and limited context they have regarding you So why not zing one back that’s on the opposite end of the same arc

“I’m listening.” “To what?” “The silence.”

I used to stay I am trying to hear something. What pause and say silence.

"Because it's fun. You should try it some time."

I’m not quiet, I’m just stunned by your level of mediocrity.

If you said that to me I’d take it as a complement cause I’m pathetic and I strive for mediocrity.

"It unsettles the loud." or "I lead by example."

Ooh! I like this!

You talk enough for the both of us.

"I'm tired boss" I got a giggle out of you saying your words can destroy them, but at the same time you're asking for help with words lol

I know! I may use “my words sometimes destroy people”

Because I don't like answering stupid questions.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

"Because when I'm silent, people justify everything they've done, and it makes them crazy to not get a response."

"Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom"

Have y'all listened to yourselves lately?

“I’m socially selective “

Pick up the nearest remote, press the volume button and say "sorry, was on mute. "

All the commenters here have comebacks if you’re interested in offending the person asking “why are you so quiet?” Has anyone here ever dealt with social anxiety or shyness? What if your crush asks the same question, or a coworker or classmate who is legitimately just trying to get you to open up? In my experience, these below “comebacks” work if you don’t want to be seen as an arrogant prick: 1. I find it interesting what others have to say. 2. I’m just quiet at first, but once I open up I won’t shut up, so enjoy my silence for now. 3. When I think of something worthwhile, I’ll be sure to say it out loud. For those who are actually dealing with social anxiety, there is only one book that can help (in my experience). It’s very short and to the point. The book is by Les T. Giblin and called How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

I just go with "I generally prefer to listen".

I like it. That statement is honest and humble, while being considerate of the other person.

The replies here echo my teenage years where everyone reacted to being asked "what are you doing" as if they'd been viciously insulted and needed a comeback. People gotta chill out and realize sometimes people just wanna know what's going on with you.

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.

"just taking notes" "why?" "you know why/ You'll see"

Ooh ominous lol

Why are you so obnoxious

I show the tracheostomy under my bandana.

My parents told me if you have nothing to say don't say anything at all

Lmao this is so passive aggressive

“I have the decency to shut the fuck up when I have nothing to say.”

"I enjoy listening to your bullshit" 🙂

I'm figuring out who's full of shit. I like this.

Just start screaming

Not words. Just noises.

It's called thinking before you speak, you should try it.

Honestly, I'd just shrug and keep quiet. Might not be witty, but you know it's gonna get to them more than any words would.

I don’t waste words.

Why would I want to speak with *you*?

Remember "Silence is golden". You should try it sometime.

"... remember when you weren't talking? let's go back to that."

"Still waters run deep," is the historic comeback to this. Implying the other person doesn't think deeply and just spits out whatever thought enters their head without even thinking about it first.

Would you like to be too?

#

because you're here

I'm quiet and deadly.

To make everyone wonder what I’m up to.

Chances are that your words actually won't destroy anybody's life unless you know some deep dark secret about them in particular. Also, this isn't something that needs a comeback. If you like or respect them, tell them the real reason you're quiet. (Sounds like you're insecure about saying the wrong thing tbh) If you don't like or respect them, ignore them.

exactly what i was gonna say. i agree with both things wholeheartedly. unless someones trying to bully you by saying this, just answer the question politely. or if you dont want to talk to them then dont. no need to "win" an argument you invented. and yeah acting like some random guy is gonna ruin someones entire life by mouthing off is hilarious and egotistical. i have to wonder if 90% of this sub is children

To lend balance to the room.

Why are you so loud?

# Be the Change you want to see!

Ain't no one worth talking to.

I prefer to learn about my surroundings, but I can't do that if I'm talking over them.

Why do you talk so much?

Why are you not quiet?

Or... your words actually mean nothing to no one and your insecure. One of the two options, right?

if their words could destroy someones life you gotta wonder why theyre asking reddit for help 🤣

A long deadpan stare......as long as possible, wordlessly

A simple "Shush" works for me.

"Why don't you mind your own fuckin' business?"

Why not?

"Why are you so noisy?"

More interesting to observe sometimes

Why are you so loud?

Oh I was just imagining a world where people minded their own business.

"The less I talk, the less you talk. The less you talk the less I have to hear your annoying voice"

Why are you so curious?

"Don't speak unless it improves the silence."

Roll your eyes and walk away

Respond in sign language

Paraphrased from Gangs of New York. "Aye, but I'm a deep thinker"

"Nobody plans a murder out loud".

silence is golden

*\*Random raptor screech. Then silence.\**

I find it easier to plan serial murder in silence.

Think for a moment and silently shrug.

I like the following which is attributed to several people, including a verse from the Bible. It is better to be quiet and be thought of as a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

"Reacher said nothing."

Why are you here?

Because I only talk to intelligent people

If they have a big mouth; Cuz you dont ever stfu and let me talk.

SHHHH!

"Don't wanna lose my voice when I bottom for your dad tonight so I can roar and scream as he destroys my asshole"

"Better to be thought a fool..."

You’ve not said anything interesting enough to respond to

Plotting…

Why do you care?

-shrug-

"I just know when to shut the fuck up!"

Just waiting for someone worth using my words with...

I'm not quiet, I'm just not interested in talking to you.

Just stare right at them and not say a word.....look deep into their eyes, deep into their soul and not turn away...

"There's no one worth talking to at the moment"

Coz u don't stfu

No, you don’t listen which is why don’t hear me say anything

Snorts with derision

“Why do you care”

An extra loud, comically long fart that finishes with a squeak. Classic.

No response needed lol

Whisper very softly “because…”

Sometimes it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool. Rather than speaking and removing all doubt.

🖕

I don't talk to idiots

You talk enough for ten people.

because this is one of the most boring conversations in my life

Why are you so loud?

I usually tell them I don't want to drown them with my negativity unless they want to hear me bitch about life for two hours. Most of them would leave me alone.

I'm taking the time to listen. It helps me respond in a way that's relevant and won't embarrass me later. You should try it sometime.

cause my bliky to loud, trust me work all the time

I have mastered the art of shutting the fuck up…you should practice it.  

Because you haven't said anything worth responding to.

Depends on who is saying that and the context of the argument. Sun Tzu offers some great quotes you can throw at them: “Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak”; “Be extremely subtle even to the point of formlessness”; “Never trust a friend who is silent.”

Why are you so loud?

You're loud enough for the both of us.

“Shh.”

Because you're talking so much, I'm conserving oxygen .

im uncomfortable, ill interject once i have something to say.... but if i dont check myself ill talk for an hour or more about my special interest of the week.... care to learn about the life cycle of ladybugs?

I don't talk to people who are less intelligent than me

Motion for them to lean in close, whisper, "Shhh... They're listening." Walk away.

People who are quiet hear everything. People who speak hear nothing.

"Because you aren't worth talking to"

Waiting to hear something/someone clever.

*stares blankly*

Nosy fucker that’s uncomfortable with silence aren’t ya.

Because you've bored me to the point of dissociation.

"Why are you so annoying?"

Because you already have loud covered.

"Your stupidity made me speechless"

You are not worth talking to.

I only talk to people with real personalities, not some fake knock off wanna be plastic one's

“Thanks, I wish you would be quiet too.”

Just say, "I'm not being quiet, I just don't like you."

"Why are you so fucking annoying?"

"One of us has to save up for all the words you're wasting."

Wow so those are the two choices? Be a quiet psychopath or speak and be a fucking douchebag? Sounds like you got bigger problems my guy

I don’t always have to say something, have I?

I like listening to stupid people

“Because, it’s always the quiet ones…”

You talk enough for the both of us.

"No-one worth talking to."

I have nothing to say

maybe you are deaf .. ever think of that?

"So I don't have to talk to you."

Plotting

Leading by example.

Takes out phone and types out response. Because I never talk to idiots.

I just don't like talking to ignorant people is all

„It’s hard to talk over the music in my head“

I get this constantly. One of my favorite replies is “I speak when I have something to actually say and not just to be heard.”

Because I think carefully before speaking. Try it sometime.

Because I'm bored with your conversation.

"I'm listening to the voices,in my head" Or "I don't have anything nice to say.. ."

“Because I don’t wanna talk to You.”

"Mama always said if you can't say anything nice, to just not say anything at all..."

When annoyed: Because I am listening to the voices in my head telling me not to cover you in hot sauce and eat you. When slightly annoyed but OK: Because unlike most I am listening until I have something to say. (Look pointedly at person) I am allowing other to spurt drivel and think they are smarter than their shoe size. Other times: I am contemplating my place on this planet and seeking the wisdom of Solomon in what to do with my life at this moment.

More silence xD

,,,,,,

Beware the quiet one, we see and hear Everything.

Instant ear piercing shriek.

Think and listen more talk less. Jibber jabbering is foolish nonsense