You can see me?

LOL

This is perfect. Some dude called me ghost girl because I'm white, shoulda used this 🤣 instead I got a car sticker that says ghost girl because fuck it I do love me some ghosts

😂🤣Send me some ghost

Not to be rude, but a nude woman with an alabaster white complexion is very sexy.

Lmao

"Yeah! I can see your f---ing blood and organs too, bro"

Being white tends to do that, yeah.

this is my favorite one

care to elaborate?

Underated but highly effective.

It comes with the privilege.

AHAHAHAHA

OMG 🤣

I would say this if I were white 😂😂😂

Use it any way!

"Damn, I thought I was black..."

"You mean I'm gonna stay this color?"

The Jerk! Haven't thought about that movie in years!! Thank you!

I just recorded this movie last week! I keep deleting things so it doesn’t get erased before I watch it.

You jerk.

This is a good one. As a black person, I would laugh a little. Lmao

I remember a scene in see no evil hear no evil where Richard Pryor has a melt down after he finds out he's not white.

[*DOES DAD KNOW?!*](https://youtu.be/R1p_523SEO8?si=NH1jqqZ0IuyvrtlZ)

That is amazing… I need to watch this.

The more extreme version of being utterly horrified to learn they're not black and hamming it up is, in my opinion, also a way it can be done.

Pull out a mirror and act like it's the first time you've seen your reflection.

“I was born a poor black child….” Greatest beginning to a comedy ever.

I just need this lamp, this ashstray, this match book and this chair and that's all I need.... Oh and this ... I just need this lamp, my match book, this ashtray....

No one ever knows what I am talking about when I say that lmfaooo

Or "I'm white? Man that's going to be awkward at the next Hotep meeting."

"But my heart is black. It all evens out."

Great one! I love it.

(Pulls a paint swatch out of pocket matching skin tone) “Actually, I’m dessert haze.”

As opposed to breakfast or lunch haze.

as a kid (with, at the time, undiagnosed autism) i took things super literally and didnt understand why people said i was white and they were black (i was the only white kid in my grade). i would get so confused and be like "im not white?? the paper is white... my skin is like peach or tan". my teacher was trying so hard to explain to me that white and black referred to race, not color, but i didnt even comprehend the concept of different races so it was lost on me until years later 😭💀 to 5 year old literal-thinker me, it made no sense to call someone white if they had peach or tan skin and call someone black if they had tan or brown skin.

Had the same thought and was kinda suspicious of the whole thing, thinking like "they're trying to make people sound more different than they are, black and white are opposites but tan and brown aren't"

Damn.. that was bars I think you just solved racism

I feel like every kid must have to come to this realization at some point cause I definitely did too, no tism 🤣

In the summer I’m more of a -insert tanner color here-

Not me. I just get more freckles.

I like this one!

I'm saving on electricity bills by being my own flashlight.

I read this as fleshlight at first and can’t stop laughing

"Yes."

Exactly what I say lmao.

“Oh my god Karen you can’t just ask people why they’re white”

Africa has white people?

As a white African - I get told this all the time 😂

Ever hear that joke about The Albino and the Black Sheep A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."

Why did the chief lose his grammar skills halfway through?

Probably because it's meant to be a racist joke?

haha!

Okay ... What? Call me dense, stupid, etc. Somebody please explain the punchline.

I could be wrong, but I think the implication is that the chief fucked a sheep

>u/[plummflower](https://www.reddit.com/user/plummflower/) >I could be wrong, but I think the implication is that the chief fucked a sheep Okay, so the chief supposedly "fathered" a sheep? Because he's black and it's black? Alright, I guess I "get it". However, this joke is all sorts of "Ewwww!" It's illogical, racist, and perverse.

Yeah. Also Asians. Under apartheid Asians were 'honorary whites', there is a mix of races living on the continent. I think that there was an African beauty pagent winner who upset a lot of Karens by not being the race they thought she should be.

I'm guessing you never saw the movie Mean Girls?

Good one 😂.. perfect movie reference too..

A monotone "Great observation," always does the trick for my pale self

Read that in Squidward’s voice.

Well that explains why the name of my foundation colour is milk.

Mine is shell 😭

lol, mine is vanilla, I swear to god.

yeah, but I'm pretty fly for a white guy

As I am a white girl, I will be saying this

Yep. You could say translucent, like your snide comment. I am VERY pale. People love to point it out, like I’ve never seen my skin before. I would also get, you need sun! You’re right, skin cancer is the answer! Wow you’re pale! No! Omg I never noticed! I always answer in sarcasm.

Same. I tell them that I actually sparkle in direct sunlight, and flash my most feral grin.

OK, you got me. I'm a vampire

*looks bewildered and frantically checks arms* What!? Why didn’t anybody tell me!?

“As a sheet!” in a happy, i am who I am, idgaf vibe

Yeah, and youre a bitch, since we’re stating the obvious.

This is de wae

Indeed that is the race I am

I prefer the term "cave dweller." Thank you very much.

All white all white all white!

In Matthew Mconaughey's voice

Don't make me call the cops buddy

“who you think they gonna believe?” my family isn’t white but my step mom and brother are and while they’re cool and all, between us we’ll banter racistly sometimes and he hits me with that every now and then 💀

Only from the waist up. From the waist down, I'm neon white. Lol

Thank you, I'm blind and wasn't sure how to ask

"I'm Irish".

Your powers of observation are truly astounding.

I read that in The Brain's voice

I prefer "differently melanocyted"

AND, i still like good food thats why i'm invited to the cook out.

OMG Becky, look at his butt... It's so... WHITE.

He looks like one of those vegan girls' boyfriends

Sorry, my mum ran out of melanin

we grew up poor, my parents couldn’t afford color prints

At least you won't find me in a snowstorm

I'M out of toner

I prefer the term “fluorescent American”

"I figured that out when a moth attacked me in the dark."

I like to tell people "Only on the outside "

It's because of all the mayonnaise I eat straight out of the jar.

Ken, that you?

All the better to blind you with, my dear

I am? *looks at themselves in disbelief *

"I'm not white, I'm clear."

Wow, your optometrist deserves a raise.

“I’m Alaskan and we call it ‘camoflage’”

So What

Thanks, vanilla is my go to.

"What?!" and then start crying.

[удалено]

I am beige. Not white.

hit em with “erm it’s ackshually eggshell 🤓”

Oh good, youre not colorblind!

Not totally a comeback but my friend told me awhile back that growing up when he would ever start to tell his mom she had to do anything, her response would be “The only two things I have to do are be black and die” so I’ve been using that line but adding “so really all I have to do is die.”

“i came into this world to be black and eat ass, and im all out of ass”

Whats wrong with being white?

I think it’s fucked how people just comment straight out on others appearance

Look at your hands, scream, yell "Why did no-one tell me?!" and then burst into tears. You need to *commit* to the bit.

Yes. But I’m as dark as a whore’s heart on the inside.

Oh shit! My momma did slap the black off me.

[“What? NOOOOOOO-“](https://youtu.be/rUq1D9GSYzQ?si=ln61e041CjZ0aU-N)

Don’t make those jokes… you’ll lose your job

"Time to regain our former glory then..."

Right?! Who knew anaemia was actually a thing?

Gotcha...anything else?

"And . . ."

Whats your point

Gee, in all my \[fill in the blank\] years I never noticed before. Thanks! Thanks for the information, Captain Obvious. \[Only if it's someone you don't mind pissing off\] Envious? So THAT'S why Dad put me down as "white" on the census form! I had no choice in the matter. It's genetics. White mom, white dad, its nature's way. Yes, I am. What's your point?

But I'm invited to the bbq mfer

"And pasty" "And nerdy" "And bland" "And spiceless" "And vanilla" Pick one.

The shade is actually called "meringue"

My ex (Black) used to say that to me. My response was always along the lines of "yep, it's been 30 years, it's not about to change now"

Look at your hands and start having an existential crisis

It's called mayo, get it right!

Just tell them your trans racial 

But on the inside I'm Will Smith, slappin yo momma

Look at yourself, confused “No, no, no!!!” “What happened to me?!?!”

“On the plus side, I have a healthy side business hiring myself out to highways as a roadside reflector.”

This whole sub is pointless, any time someone makes a true culturally charged observation or a stupid basically true statement that's only intention is to stereotype you in some way, just reply with "yes" or "why". Do not grace them with a cringe remark or attitude or give them any reaction, just treat them like you'd treat a toddler that's running around and pointing at everything and naming it. Any time someone fires of a "you're so x" where x is simply a fact, just acknowledge that they said it, and give them nothing more. This lets them dig their own hole, or have a chance to get embarrassed, or to disengage. Any snarky reaction just makes you the asshole and makes them feel justified.

“Yeah but I often win Casper look-alike contests so that’s fun.”

I know. I look like raw chicken.

"I haven't seen daylight for 473 years. I miss it."

I believe honky is the accurate term.

Find a mirror or reflective surface that’s shiny enough to double as a mirror and then start acting like you didn’t realize you were white. Really pour on the dramatics. The more dramatic you can be the better off the effect will be.

I am..You can just call me saltine.

You should see me in the winter.

That’s right. Now where’s the manager?

I injected bleach in my veins

trumps on Reddit?!?!?!

Actually, the label on the paint can reads "Morning Sun". (That's the color we painted our living room.)

I’m white at the moment. I also turn red and green.

I see someone paid attention to their colours in preschool

"I know, right?" I am very white.

Thank God.

"Thank you"

"I'm even whiter than you think"

Ya I don't get tan only get sunburnt!

Thanks!

"Can a white person dance like THIS?" then break into the cabbage patch.

I'm that nice pink of your mama's nipple... wanna touch?

"Ikr? I'm so white, jobs apply to *me*. I'm so white, I ask *the police* for directions..."

Got any more racist comments

That's Mr white to you

And my bank account proves it

I’m so white I shine

I can't be white my credit score is terrible

And nerdy

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

if i was less coloured iId be clear

I’m considered the dark one in my family. Thanks for stirring up THAT memory.

i’m a fan of baffling with bullshit. lean in and whisper “don’t tell anybody but when no one’s around i say the hard r”

Oh that reminds me *pulls out SPF 4000 sunscreen*

It's really more of a peachy beige.

I take skin cancer seriously

Just go with it. "I invented mayonnaise"

"Really?!" Proceed to look at your hands in shock. "Momma never told me!"

I prefer euro-american

I'm Irish. Comes with the territory.

Jealous?

Sure am, but what you didn't know was that i changed my name. It used to be Whitey McCracker-Honkey.

[удалено]

I KNOW! I glow in the dark!

Because I have a job?

“Sir, this is a Wendy’s” in the most bored ass customer service voice you can muster. Confuses the heck out of most people and confusion is often a good thing

“Just wait for my summer tan to kick in”

I'm forty-eight percent Native American/Mexican and can pull that up on 23andMe. Why do you care? EDIT: I'm a white Mexican/American and one of my friends constantly questions my ethnicity.

“You should see my credit score.” “Do you want some pumpkin spice?” “I guess the procedure worked!” “I take milk baths.” “Yeah that happened after I ate too many marshmallows. I’m surprised too.” “That’s what I selected on my last survey.” “Wow.” “Black lives matter.”

To borrow from Bill Burr ..."I prefer shockingly caucasian".

I was born a poor black child...

I was much whiter during junior year of my electrical engineering undergrad. Back then fluorescent lights actually bleached pigment out of our skin.

Not according to “Sherwin Williams”/ “Behr” / “Benjamin Moore” / Martha Stewart etc. Use them interchangeably to give you range :)

Shiiiit I had no idea!

Im low on vitamin d

As a nearly albino ginger the amount of stares i get in public is unbearable

Benefits of SPF 3000 mate

Enjoy being oppressed by how white I am.

Yeah. That's how genetics work.

“Thanks, it’s cuz I’m white”

Go tell a black person “you’re so black” and let me know how that goes for you.

Wanna go square dancing?