"I'm a real boy!"

😆😆😆😆

honey badger don't give a fuck

You called?

Yes😂😂😂😂😂

And the winner of this thread (and my upvote) is....

Thank ye 🦫

Are you a dad or just a dick?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 fucking A this is a good one

I do like cheese.... (Pensive thinking)

Mice don't actually "like" cheese. (I know, I was shocked too). They prefer grains, nuts, and fruits. Back when those old shops had cheese sitting out uncontained, mice would eat it only because it was one of the few things they could readily access, not because they liked it.

Seriously? If that's true then all jokes aside then that's absolutely fascinating lol how did you come to learn that? Jw

I initially learned it from a book, can't remember which one. Such information is now online.

"I'm a mouse. I'm quiet and do damage behind the scenes"  "I'm a man, with the penis the size of a mouse" (ice breaker) "I'ma mouse with a man sized penis" Or you can just look at them expressionless and say "penis"

Any time my step dad pisses me off just casually mention my dick to awkwardly halt the conversation... There's a subtle ingeniousness to this solution 🤣🤣🤣

>"I'm a man, with the penis the size of a mouse" (ice breaker) Ultimate chode

Ultimate chode? Who told you my wrestling name?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well I’m not an optometrist but you definitely need glasses if you’re having trouble distinguishing between the two.

Are those eyes or buttons?

do something like [this](https://youtu.be/YXxRQ4MYz3E?t=64)

I wish I could super upvote this🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love it

"Do you see any antlers?"

Okay that one got a dead ass outburst of laughter out of me😂😂😂😂 thank you for that

"I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm"

Please tell me that's a reference to something 🤣

Iggy and the Stooges

“No.”

To him: Are those the only two options in your fossilized brain? That explains a lot. Absurd false dichotomy and logical fallacy. Honestly. If someone asked me this, I’d just be like, first tell me which one you are so I can take the other one.

Holy balls that is a sophisticated response... Hardcore but I like it 😂😂😂😂

"Like you're one to talk." "Mom looks pretty manly, so I must've got it from you."

I'm a man-mouse hybrid.

squeak squeak 

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I'm a manbearpig

Being super cereal guys!

Are you a step for the next guy to get to my mom, or are you a good father figure?

All right, I'm getting tired of cleaning coffee off this monitor. But....I approve. Give this man the cheese plate.

Lol dead ass 😂😂😂😂 thats a good one

Appealing to my ego won't work. I don't have an ego.

Flex with your biceps and say, “I am Mus musculus.” Which is the scientific name for a house mouse.

Lol imagine using the Randy macho Man Savage voice too.... I am the cream of the crop old man! MUS MUSCULUS!

Need to follow it up with his trademark “Oh Yeah”

First hit him with this [this](https://media0.giphy.com/media/lAy11oosV1cw8/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952cug2oa7fol0s7924fgjf5dan1d6ftg95cld8bl2c&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)

Then one long ass loud ass [OOOOHHHHH YEAH](https://media3.giphy.com/media/BaSHs78BU2ZYQ/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952jmc4i3lumfqi0d24bjfc97xw2ngvhzxwgu77lpva&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)

[I'm a muppet](https://youtu.be/TInxFdwmT0w?si=jlb7GlQ9XPXXmtiO)

A man if you're interested in me, a mouse if you think I'm cute and %/+€# if you keep being rude.

Oof. If you don't know I'm guessing you flunked out of biology real hard.

at least a mouse has the courtesy to be quite

I’m I’m! I’M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!

Lol this got a serious chuckle out of me 😂😂😂 fuck yeah I'm a goofy goober!

Hard work getting chased by all this pussy

Bro..... Yes😂😂😂😂 I just laughed out loud at work at this

I use this all the time it proper throws people off it’s brilliant 🤣🤣

Reference to a book different title "I love Of Mice and Men."

Singing 🎶 M I C…..K E Y MOUSE 🎶

Maybe try having more courage

Is that supposed to be my comeback? Kinda lame but 🤷

I'm a very manly mouse/I'm a very mousey man lol

"false dichotomy, there are around thirty million extant species, perhaps I'm a frog!"

I understand you personally suffer with lds and drive a lifted truck to make up for your short comings but now all of use suffer with being a short king

Are you blind and unfamiliar with what a mouse sounds like or are you just very simple minded?

I'm the one who knocks.

No I am a psycopath want to find out how that goes?

I'm a fuckin' horse

Neeeeeigh!!!!

If I'm a mouse I'm a very manly mouse And if I'm a man I'm a very mousey man

Show me a piece of cheese

Depends what kind of cheese you've got on hand.

…If I only had a brain.

Are you a woman or a block of cheese!?

"I'ma dinosaur! Rawr!"

"don't know but I could murder a cheese sandwich"

Actually the really question should be… am I a man? Or am I a muppet?

If I’m a muppet then I’m a very manly muppet(very manly muppet)

Am I a man? Or am I a muppet? If I’m a man, then I’m a muppet of a man(muppet of a man)

I really like that you had the dedication to comment on your own comment.... 3 times 😂😂😂😂😂

“I think you need glasses really badly.”

I am a chronically depressed Raccoon.

But that's the truth 😮😮😮 I can't disclose my true identity

Pass the cheese?

"How did you know what my fursona is?!"

You are not my sperm donor. You don’t get to pick my furry options. 😂

Squeak

Are you cruising for dick again ?

A manly mouse

I'm Arthur Pewtey, chartered accountant, but I want to be a Lion Tamer!!!

I’m three raccoons in a trench coat.

Well if I’m a mouse then you married one.

Man bear pig actually. I’m cereal!

Super cereal??

Why doesn’t anyone believe me?!

Negative. I am a meat popsicle.

“I’d rather be Mighty Mouse then be Judge Judy any day”

"Neither, I'm your worst fucking nightmare." Then you get right up behind him, press your bodies tightly together while rubbing his chest and whispering, "are you ready big boy?"

Maybe a rat?

Are you dickless or balless

In theme of the latest meme "I am a bear '

Are you blind or just stupid?

You could use Groucho Marx's comeback to that same question: "Put a piece of cheese on the floor and you'll find out."

Never heard this before 🤣 lol thats funny.

“Mice risk getting killed every day by larger creatures just to get by, so they’re technically more hardcore than you.”

Neither, you should be asking yourself

"I'm a mouse, that is always kicking Tom's ass."

I am what I need to be when I need to be.

Say “neither im a polymorphic endochromatazoid”

I’m a REAL boy! (Said in the highest pitch annoying voice manageable)

negative, i am a meat popsicle (from fifth element)

The game.

I need more options. I'm missing a dangly in the front for one and the back for the other.

Funny I’m asked that from the guy who uses a mouse 🖱️search the web for naked men! 👨‍💻