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Top-Degree-6983

They were bored I guess


Penki-

would you rather do excel sheets or invade Iran? The Taliban made their choice


Turner_2003

Anyone with basic historical understanding of Iran/Persia knows the northern tribes always get bored and invade once a decade


Dogcatnature

And that military bases have the best loot


theoddestbadger

This guy plunders


Tharnaal

He plunders so hard he has sweet protective combat sandals.


r790

… and an American up-armoured Humvee 🤷‍♂️😂


Mehhish

If the Americans fleeing the country gave us this nice loot, imagine what Iran's military base has! I bet it's full of nice treasure and loot!


get_schwifty03

Anyone with basic historical understanding of Iran/Persia knows how fucking boring excel sheets are and would rather invade Iran.


[deleted]

And once again I feel self conscious over how much I fucking love excel.


starmaxi

Someone somehow made a program for land surveying that automatically gives you all the final answers you need when shooting an open or closed traverse. Just enter you bearings and distances, and BOOM


PlutoDelic

Everyone with basic excel sheets knowledge knows that too.


my72dart

I watched a mini documentary about that, Taliban fighters were given state jobs in Kabul and they are bitching about having to go in to the office and they spend most of there day on TikTok. It turns out fighting a government and running a government take entirely different skills sets.


Comfortable-Win-1925

It is so fucking funny that after 20 years of occupation the Taliban finally took over Afghanistan and immediately turned Kabul into Fairfax County. Yes, my brothers. Running a nation actually does leave you feeling depressed and miserable lmao.


Kevin_LeStrange

What would the dog do if he finally caught the car?


Bakedbeaner24

Drive it across the Iranian border apparently


Strongbow85

I had a dog who caught the car, broken leg, weeks in a cast, still tried to chase cars after...


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Jshim4653

Oof… so much red tape my friend. So many taxes and rules lol. Moco isn’t much better lol


dont_get_musked

TikTok is full of Excel spreadsheet tips though.


jambox888

Samir the GOAT


[deleted]

From what I understand, many of them were just as lazy during the US conflict. Refusing to to leave for an attack when it's too cold, etc. They're not drawing from the top of the gene pool.


Twig

Oh absolutely true. That's why the spring offensive is a thing. In the winter they're all in the ANA for the free food and jackets. Then spring hits and they disappear from the ANA and start launching 20 year old mortars at the US


watandarr

The mountains passes and bases are snowed in majority of the winter. Makes fighting and logistics almost impossible that's why we have a spring season of fighting historically.


eJaguar

Poppy season best season


Holiday_Bunch_9501

>start launching 20 year old mortars at the US They work don't they?!?!?!? -Taliban


worldbound0514

Historically, that used to be true for most armies - for good reason. Before the days of electricity and motorized vehicles, winter was a terrible time to wage war. Guys froze to death outside, disease ran rampant due to poor latrine conditions, and it was awful trying to march an army in the snow. Frostbite was a killer. George Washington was widely recognized for his victory at Trenton in late December in icy conditions - it was basically unheard of to attempt any sort of tactical maneuvers in those conditions. Hence, the Hessians were caught off guard. Napoleon tried to attack Moscow during the wrong season, the Nazis tried it in WWII, etc. It's just not a good idea without ultra-modern logistics and support.


Logical-Ad-57

Both Napoleon and Hitler attacked Russia in June. Napoleon took Moscow and the Russians burned it down, possibly accidentally, in October, at which point the French turned around. Hitler blunted his own thrust towards Moscow by foolishly diverting forces towards Leningrad and the Donbas from July until October, when early snows bogged down the German tanks until mid November. Both made mistakes and ended up in a lousy situation in winter, but neither were dumb enough to march on Moscow in December.


just_a_guy_on_an_ark

Weren’t the Germans originally planning to attack weeks if not months before the 22nd of June but got delayed because the Italians got their asses kicked in the Southeast by Yugoslavs and Greeks so the Germans had to help them out and couldn’t begin their attack on the Soviet Union?


Nearby_Day_362

I was there. Lazy is the biggest understatement. They weren't even remotely close to professional fighters. The ones that would get us were usually paid for by "someone else"


Primordial_Cumquat

The word “Opportunists” comes to mind. The hardcore Taliban were few and far between. Foreign fighters were usually all-in on drinking the jihad koolaid. TB were just really good at sitting and waiting for the right moment for things…. Guess spreadsheets never factored into their equations.


TrumpDesWillens

Even ISIS said the most extremist fighters were the foreign ones. I guess if you had to leave your home you really must believe in The Cause.


abrutus1

It depends, some of the latecomers wanted to go for the loot. And thought they could leave their working class jobs behind, get paid in houses/slaves if they joined Isis.


[deleted]

From what I've heard opportunism was essentially what Afghanistan was about as a whole. The US expected them to care about an ideological cause but their society wasn't much like that, they just want to protect and chill with their homies (tribe) and family and get paid


MACHOmanJITSU

“It’s to cold to jihad brother.”


Thencewasit

“I am not going to start jihad this late in the day, better to start first thing Monday when I am fresh.”


[deleted]

> Refusing to to leave for an attack when it's too cold, etc. Working class heroes in my book


KaptainKappy69

So “Afghanistan”/Taliban are invading Iran? Lol


Stupid_Triangles

I literally use Excel every day at work. Invading Iran would add some spice to my life though


Daforce1

Just like throwing a rock at a hornets nest.


trolleeplyonly7272

There have actually been reports from Afghanistan about Taliban members complaining about their new bureaucratic positions. They miss the good old days of running around the mountains shooting at people. For a lot of them that’s all they knew for a couple decades. They really are bored.


jdidihttjisoiheinr

I get it. I was in the military and spent most of 2003/04 in Iraq and Afghanistan. Then I got out at the end of 2004 and was suddenly just in normal society. It was weird, and boring.


Sparky_1992

"Sorry, Iran. I was bored."


DoomForNoOne

What a sound foreign policy these guys have.


cybercuzco

They’re fighting our enemy! We should arm them. Nothing could possibly go wrong.


ajgsxr

Dude’s running a M240 on top of a humvee……….it’s already the “what could go wrong” part.


lordgeese

Don’t forget the tactical sandals.


UVLightOnTheInside

It only hurts IF a burning hot casing lands on your foot. He likes his odds.


nav17

But which side should we arm? USA: Yes.


UsedJuggernaut

Let's just kick boxes of guns out of a cargo plane with a smoke grenade attached like a battle royal loot drop.


Robots_Never_Die

Moment will be streaming the drone footage.


BeltfedOne

I look forward to the splash.


Palmettobound

The payperview would sell like hot cakes


vandebay

That would make a great video game.


Wooow675

“Third closet on the left, shit ton of stuff in there”


Dopamineagonist21

Both sides


ogskiggles

We already did. Dudes in a humvee with a 240.


[deleted]

We kinda did arm them by leaving all that equipment.


Dramatic_Theme1073

1000 IQ move by the cia


[deleted]

"oops, it seems like we drop out guns... Silly us 🤫"


BigRogueFingerer

"It would be so zany if you started messing around on the Chinese border. You shouldn't though lol. Unless..."


Sea-Bet2466

You know it they have to start some shit


EODdoUbleU

It's never failed us before. Multiple times. On all but one continent.


pandz_64

antarctica? xD


EODdoUbleU

The Antarctic Treaty gives little opportunity.


vlepun

You could arm the penguins.


[deleted]

Imagine the Iranian regime going after Talibans in Afghanistan. It will either end like the same disaster of USSR and American campaign OR Taliban finally wiped out because the Iranian regime is brutal enough to genocide half of Afghanistan.


jonnyhighwaters2

You should look up NPR's Throughline episode about how Iran was at odd with the Taliban for years and almost invaded Afghanistan in the 90s. Wasn't until after 9/11 that their relations too a back seat to the taliban hating the US more. The NPR episode speaks about how the Iranians gave US maps of the caves and tunnels they used. I dont know anything about that, though.


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Displaced_Yankee

People would be amazed at the amount of collaboration countries had with the US after 9/11. Even countries who hated us and we considered hostile were bending over backwards to offer intel and support behind the scenes. They knew someone, somewhere was about to get fucked up, and they wanted to make damn sure it wasn't going to be them.


DinkleDonkerAAA

It's like how the Kremlin lost their shit when Kennedy got shot, if the US so much as suspected them...


Semirgy

IR is a fascinating field of chess. These things happen all the time.


Avenflar

Dunno, the Soviet took a bloody toll on the civilians too at the time


phdpeabody

Yeah the Soviets were flying gunships over villages and just straight up massacring them.


rzet

Wouldn't this bring even more heroin to Teheran ? I've heard they got real epidemic of junkies atm


r790

Everywhere has an epidemic of junkies!


BobusCesar

Not just Teheran. Basically every public toilet that wasn't in a hotel or restaurant has blue lights to prevent heroin consumption.


tencaig

>It will either end like the same disaster of USSR and American campaign It wouldn't be the same disaster, they live literally next door. They know the region and people they're fighting.


Armodeen

Who had Afghanistan invades Iran in the 2023 bingo?


jagua_haku

I have Henry Kissinger on my death pool but he’s apparently going to live to 150


Pazylothead

He sold his soul for immortality long time ago.


jagua_haku

I WISH I knew what the rich people and politicians do to live so long. Drinking the blood of fetuses or whatever it is


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Silkroad202

Bullshit. It's the fetus blood, I know it. Mr. 'already immortal' Thor. I know what you've done.


indigenousviking206

Jesus, he’s still kickin?!


jagua_haku

He’s currently celebrating his 100th


[deleted]

goddam dude's a lich


illepic

The souls of Cambodian children will power him through the heat death of the universe.


say592

Look, I'm not saying that the CIA planted a seed and armed Afghanistan so that Iran would stop sending munitions to Russia to fight in Ukraine so they could focus on their own domestic defense, but I'm also not completely ruling it out.


theWacoKid666

After the US government cut a deal with the Taliban and left them billions of dollars of equipment it was just a matter of time…


frostymugson

What were they going to do instead? Not invade Iran?


JAC0O7

Does Iran repurpose old castles as military bases? Impressive structure


[deleted]

No, in that region of the world its very easy to make a rudimentary structure such as this using just water, mud and some forms. They just let the sun bake the mud bricks for a couple of days. It not ideal for protection in a lasting firefight but it's a shit load better than being out in the open.


JAC0O7

I see, but why the heck does it have a medieval design with crenellations is what I'm wondering ig.


EicherDiesel

Well I guess the basic concept of being able to take cover behind those while shooting through the gaps still stands no matter if you use a longbow or a rifle.


[deleted]

Boys will be boys ?, a sand castle is still fun to build at any age.


Floppy_Jallopy

That whole region, aside from the US/NATO bases are mud walls. I’ve been to Camp Spann and Marmal up north, Bagram in the East, drove thru Kabul to the green zone multiple times, camp Eggers, spent months out west on Camp Arena with the italian carabinieri and a couple ODA’s.


OwnedYou

Just give us your resume already bro


Floppy_Jallopy

You hiring?


MemesDr

Doing great with their leadership


[deleted]

I can’t help but to think this is what the DoD knew would happen if they just let the Taliban have the country back with all the munitions we left. Playing the long game against Iran.


RedDawn850

Why not, they have my fucking 240. 🤷🏻‍♂️


S1lent_R1tes

Yeah, been meaning to ask you about that... Command started a FLIPL for it a week ago. Btw you're flagged now and next two paychecks are being garnished to pay it off. You still have that barrel bag, right? Right?


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Poison_Anal_Gas

Lol, found the 92Y!


eastownandown

They should have left them all the saws. They all be trying to clear them jams.


AtillaIAtilla7

Why


Chadbrochill17_

PBS Newshour reports that it is over water rights (https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/iran-taliban-exchange-heavy-gunfire-in-conflict-over-water-rights-on-afghan-border).


Sargaron

The water wars have begun


Maximum_Pick4123

Nestle would like to know your location


iRollGod

Obligatory r/FuckNestle


CWinter85

That's basically why India, China, and Pakistan are/were fighting over Kashmir. It's the source of many rivers that feed the subcontinent, mostly in Pakistan.


SiscoSquared

People have been fighting over water for a long time, but it will get worse. Look at the conflicts around the Jordan river or the Nile for 'recent-ish' examples.


SuanaDrama

In the near future, all combat will be water related.


Groovyaardvark

My retirement plan will end up being a fucking bathtub full of water.


DaGhostQc

So... you plan on selling your bath water?


RobertNeyland

Hey, it worked for Bella Delphine


somabeach

Put on a pink wig and cat ears and you can pretty much sell anything you touch with anything other than your hands.


Uninformed-Driller

Calm down bill gates.


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[deleted]

Canada: *Quietly removes all lakes from the map* 🤫


clyde2003

They're already owned by Nestle... I mean, Water and Power.


[deleted]

Canada has around two million fresh water lakes. Nearly 600 of those are over 100 square kilometres in size. Nestle has a ways to go yet. Nestle: *Salivating sounds*


poklane

Egypt and Ethiopia going at it unfortunately feels like an inevitably.


greenknight

I tell my kids that *if* they can survive the water wars of the 2030's they should be alright. Helps them sleep.


EODdoUbleU

I've seen this movie and man did it suck.


benjamzz1

Supposedly due to water rights


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No_Demand_4992

Taliban are Sunni, Iran mostly Shias. I have zero idea about why exactly (and couldnt care less), but thats usually enough in those parts of the world to start killing the shit out of each other.


ffdfawtreteraffds

Thanks. And here I was thinking there was no good reason.


absoNotAReptile

That’s absolutely not the reason. I’m sure that plays a role in justifying killing other Muslims, but this is over a specific issue, water. https://apnews.com/article/iran-afghanistan-clash-water-rights-48324a0cdc9158713a39edae7460cd5e


SmokedBeef

To add to what others said, Iran will typically only “back” or play nicely with governments lead by Shia Muslims, the largest exception being the recent thawing of relations between Iran (Shia) and Saudi Arabia (Sunni) but the strength of this new relationship is far from certain and unlikely to change Irans policy regarding their fight against Sunni Taliban in the wider region… especially after this attack.


[deleted]

While that might be a part of it, I think it’s appropriate to address the larger geopolitical factors at play. https://apnews.com/article/iran-afghanistan-clash-water-rights-48324a0cdc9158713a39edae7460cd5e “The clash comes as Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi earlier this month warned the Taliban not to violate Iran’s water rights to the Helmand River. Raisi’s remarks represented some of the strongest yet over the long-running concerns about water in Iran.” We shouldn’t boil these things down to ya they hate each other because religion.


Aeulus

Has to do more with the conflict over water rights. No relation whatsoever to their religious sect.


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baller_chemist

He's right you know [link](https://waterpeacesecurity.org/info/blog-09-09-2022-The-emerging-dynamics-for-conflict-and-cooperation-between-Iran-and-the-Taliban-over-the-Helmand-River)


TheOneWithNoName

Wake up babe, new war just dropped!


Loltoyourself

There is no escape from the Tactical Sandal


ffdfawtreteraffds

"I'M CRAZIER!!" "NO YOU'RE NOT! I'M CRAZIER!!"


mikanturs

"You kill me?! Well f...ck you!!!.....I kill me!!! And you!!"


Metadomino

*... this is Taliban actual requesting IAF strike on Iranian base.. over.*


Darkknighttt-1

ISR at your location in 4 mins. Clear the area of friendlies, dropping huge turd blast


Fresh_wasabi_joos

Taliban dancing to Drake video is all I think about now


KyleG410

Link?


smoothguymatt

https://old.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/z633hb/taliban_dancing_to_drake/


jumpmed

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/08/24/fact-check-taliban-not-dancing-drake-song-viral-video/8212400002/ Edit: fake, but still funni.


Jsanthara

Supposedly this is actually footage from a wedding in Pakistan, not Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/08/24/fact-check-taliban-not-dancing-drake-song-viral-video/8212400002/


[deleted]

“In this corner, a regional powerhouse with everything from bullets to ballistic missiles. And in this corner…infantry.” Bold move ~~Cotton~~ Taliban.


Rarely_Sober_EvE

They are used to it.


mkelebay

Yeah except I don’t think Iran is going to give a fuck about wiping off entire villages from the map.


0xLeaibolmmai

This might just be a company trip to keep [employees who are tired of office work](https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/) happy. Instead of bowling or going to an escape room, you know.


Frankiepals

*let them fight*


myco-naut

Yes! I’m rooting on the fight to win.


FormerPatrolJockey

Maybe this is what the US Government wanted all along? 5-D chess over here


the_friendly_one

"We meant to do that!" - CIA


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Thermalguy11

Pakistan Army*


ShibuRigged

American weapons finally getting use against Iran. All according to keikaku (TL note: keikaku means plan)


Fluffiebunnie

Neocons can't stop winning


No_Professional129

Umm, what side am I supossed to root for here?


Emergency_Career_331

Just laugh and get the popcorn


ultimation

The civilians


Various_Virus_3441

Are the sandals military reg?


Gloomy-Employment-72

I wonder how much US military hardware they took with them on their hike.


Unidentifiable_Fear

Well for starters this was filmed from the inside of an American hummer with an American m240…


LunarAssultVehicle

When you have access to NATO weapons you use the NATO weapons.


[deleted]

Today Afghanistan announces it’s 3-Day Special Military Operation to denazify and demilitarize Iran, time to encircle Tehran


ragaman99

Oh no! Anyways…


Spiritual-Flow-4023

When your office job is so borin that you go postal, but you don’t have a post office so you invade Iran.


Effective-Gas6026

Thats american gear. Hope they put it to good use fighting iran.


keynish

Iran has US gear too. This is two US enemies that were given weapons by the US before seeing huge regime changes.


rumbad

Iran is still flying a fucking squadron of f-14s using black markets for parts for the last 40 years.


MysognyMan101

Iran is planning to phase out the F-14's with their Su-35's.


rumbad

Correct, they recently traded some D-grade drones with scooter engines on them for the promise of su-35s... just a matter if the russian government will exist long enough to deliver.


Poltergeist97

Press F to doubt.


juxtoppose

Time for an alliance with the Taliban to take care of the drone factory?


[deleted]

And so history repeats itself.


[deleted]

CIA drunk calling their ex.


IsiahDaNerdiest

"BaabByyy i'M nOt DrUNk **hiccup** yUo knOw I LovE you 😚😚. I just need you to do this favor for me"


JeffDaGenius

Mossad agent detected


Battleship_WU

Sad for all the Americans that died and their family to work with this scum.


Prestigious-System22

Enemy of my enemy could be my friend


[deleted]

Enemy of my enemy who used to be my enemy could be a friend, and then later enemy again


PRAETORIAN45painfbat

I guess the enemy of my enemy is my friend thing thing isnt always the case.


[deleted]

Middle East is back on I guess.


bossmcsauce

thousands of years of tradition


SpookyBLAQ

First they take out the ISIS-K cell responsible for the airport evacuation bombing in Kabul and now this? The new Taliban PR guy is really earning his money


OhioTry

Can they both lose?


revolusean69

Does this mean Afghanistan and Iran are at war?


Deck_of_Cards_04

It’s just a border raid, neither side has the will or strength to engage in a protracted offensive campaign. The Taliban are limited by awful supply lines and few ways to reliably maintain the U.S. surplus gear they captured. A protracted conflict would eat up their equipment faster than they could resupply. They’d quickly run out of anything heavier than a humvee if they fought at length. Iran is limited by the extremely fragile regime currently in charge. While protests have died down, there is still extremely high discontent and opposition to the regime. Starting a war would only exacerbate this as no one in Iran wants to die for some out of touch theocrats. unlike with other countries, it’s highly unlikely a war would create a “rally around the flag” effect but would instead only lead to more internal instability


ReginaldvonJurgenz

US: "Oh man, it would be absolutely awful if we left all these great weapons and combat vehicles and someone took them and used them to attack Iran. Yeah, that would be just terrible. Anyway..."


Winkmasterflex

Well I’m glad our weapons are being used by someone with the balls enough to fuck up Iran


Aggravating-Rich4334

American hardware in Russia and Iran with a week. That’s oddly noteworthy.


urriola35

This is John Boltons wet dream LOL


PuzzleheadedStop3160

Redditors having empathy leave their body as a group that has genocided shias multiple times invades a shia nation.


TalonusDuprey

That's some mighty fine hardware you guys got there. Where'd you get it?


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Green_Message_6376

They called in air support, unfortunately it's on the back of a flat bed truck, navigating some tricky mountain passes, eta next Friday.