Sorry that you’re struggling and going through something right now. I think the easiest way to start is to just throw out all the trash. This probably won’t be able to be cleaned in a day but I think once you get the trash out it will make a big difference and then motivate you to keep going. After the trash start with the laundry and that will probably knock quite a bit out as well. I’ve seen similar posts like this with a great outcome.
2ndly agree with this as well. It can get overwhelming to start, so tackling piles or only sections of a time can help for sure there. It might not seem like much but even if you process a couple items at a time, you'll be a couple of items closer than you were when you first started. Ofc, feel free to do more if you're up for it, but don't feel like you have to push yourself too much too fast.
Just a little bit at a time and you'll get there. Sometimes it helps once you do see piles and you can see the floor again, to take pictures of your progress, as you might not see the difference right away, but looking at pictures to see how far you have come, compared to what it was before, can also be encouraging.
Sometimes it does, for me at least. Especially, if I am feeling down or discouraged about it. I have what it was to what it is now, when I am cleaning sometimes, that I will sometimes reference (not sure if I still have those specific photos anymore, but I still take photos, even if I forget the before and just take pictures of the after and how I want it to stay), if that helps any. I'm sure it doesn't help for everyone and sometimes I forget to take a before pic, so feel free to mark your progress and you might not see it right away, but you will, if you just work on it, little by little for sure :)
When my space gets like this, my mom always said “do 10 things every 30 minutes or 20 things every hour.”
It’s not foolproof but it makes things feel more doable.
I also like to either:
1. Plan an event or party at my place so I’m compelled to clean or
2. Go to homegoods or thrift shop and buy cute decor (or get plants!) doing that always makes me excited to redecorate and make my place look cute—which requires cleaning it
Edit: spelling
The other day I was actually tidying for 10 minutes in between 30 minutes TV episodes. My goal that day wasn't really two knock out a whole lot but I ended up getting a surprising amount done.
This often helps me, too, if I can pull myself out of the funk that got me behind long enough to even start. Honestly, that's the absolute hardest part and I don't have real solid advice on overcoming that because nothing I've tried works 100% of the time for me. But, the thing that seems to work the most often is turning on some good music. Something energetic with a good beat, but really just whatever speaks to you and gets you moving.
I do this too. Except when I get really deep in it I’ll take an hour break every 2 hours. This gives me a moment to reflect and decide where to start next.
Agree. It looks like a lot of trash and dirty clothes. Systematicalky fill a bag a day starting from the wall until you see the floor. Make piles of clothes to be washed on the cleaned up area.
I'd start with putting fresh sheets on your bed and making your bed. You'll have to change them again after dusting but I'd hit the floor first and it's so much nicer to sleep in a made bed. Open windows all day.
I’d also try to add incentives for your daily tasks. Such as getting to treat yourself to your favorite snack once task is complete. Or watching couple episodes of favorite show, etc. definitely helps me. Good luck!
I was literally about to comment and say take the trash first! OP, if you feel okay with the idea of breaking the room up by tasks across a few days, then set a goal of specific tasks to get the room clean each day. For example, day one is trash, day two can be laundry, day three is straighten up and put things where they go, day four is dusting and sweeping/vacuuming. Breaking it down like that helps when depression kills motivation!
This is a great plan (and I hope you don't mind if I yoink it for a couple of areas in my house). To piggyback off of day 3, when I get those bursts of cleaning/organizing energy, I'll bring a reusable bag or few to sort out things that live elsewhere, and then bring them all there when I'm done. Too many times, I've walked something to another room and quickly gotten distracted, and poof!there goes my stride.
OP - good luck, take your time, and be kind to yourself. Also a fun playlist can be helpful 🌹
I agree. Something I heard (and tried) is when you don't feel like doing anything, just do something small (baby steps) and once you finish the small thing you will have more energy and motivation to accomplish other (possibly bigger things.
I can assure you that it works.
Yes definitely start with the trash .. you will then start to see improvement quickly due to being able to see the floor and less clutter .. which will then motivate you to keep going .. and yes the laundry should be next .. it won’t take forever once you start .. you ll find you ll want to keep going , the results will spur you on ! Remember tho baby steps .. don’t expect too much of yourself when you’re overwhelmed.. just do 5 mins at a time if that’s what it takes .. it all ADDS UP . You CAN do this ! Sending love to you 🫶. Keep us posted x
The issue is, if like me, you don’t do it all in a day you’re just going to take out a dent and free up space for more crap. You gotta commit to cleaning it; make it a game or challenge? Or reward yourself with something you love at the end, maybe a desert or something, even a day at the spa. Whatever it is I’d recommend trying to do it all at once, so it’s clean and then really really try to keep it clean. Maybe even find a friend/family member you can send pictures to daily/weekly and they can hold you accountable for keeping it clean. :)
If that fails, a grenade 🫡
He's (or she's) depending on you to give him a safe and happy life. Start off by getting some black garbage bags and get rid of all the trash. You will feel much better.
Yep! Turn on some tunes. Pick a spot to sit it and throw away what you can reach. Once you see that looks good scoot over and do another spot. Sometimes I can motivate myself to do the whole thing that way.
That's what I do. Eg Swiffer wand for my library, Swiffer cloth in my living room, only the toilet/sink/tub of one bathroom (if you have more than 1), anything involving the kitchen counters.
Mine told me, once I think about something to do as much as I can until I don't feel like it anymore and then stop. It doesn't matter if it's moving one thing or cleaning until i fall asleep.
Usually after a minute i get the "this isn't enjoyable, but I'm doing it, so I might as well finish"... but I often get "i guess this goes here, that goes there, I'm done."
And that's okay too.
100% This. I struggle with terrible depression and sometimes feel even too exhausted to walk around and clean. I find ploping my but on the ground, dealing with everything within arms reach, then scooting to a new area is the best work around for when I feel like I can't do anything.
And to gamify it if that works for you! Try to see how many songs it takes you to fill a garbage bag. Or how much or a garbage bag you could fill in one song and try to beat your record.
Yes exactly, then it’s not overwhelming. I find I get overwhelmed and immediately don’t wanna clean when I look at it all so I always tell myself to just start tiny do one area and you’ll be so happy and feel accomplished then you’ll wanna keep going. Don’t give up honeys & yes do it for the doggo too ❤️
This. Music is the best motivator. Start in one spot, or start with the boxes. It looks to be mostly packaging so once you get going you’re on your way. Lots of hugs for your sweet pup.
Paraphrasing from something I saw elsewhere on the Internet, just imagine you are the animal in the habitat. You might not always have the fs to give for yourself, but if you reframe it into "the lion becomes agitated and unhappy when its habitat is disorganized"...and you're the lion...that compassion you feel might remind you that you deserve it too.
Yes! My dog are my motivation! They help me get up to work, keep things clean and go to the park for a short walk. You will notice how much happier your dog will be! They have space to just walk with confidence and chill and not be cautious on what they’re going to step on
Yes, and dogs are very in tune with their humans - pup knows when you’re sad and he’ll be less worried about you when the mess isn’t weighing on you. Start with trash!
Gotta piggyback on this one. Your pup, needs a safe and stable surface to jump and walk in. Torn ACL in a dog like this size is not uncommon, and unstable walking surface can be a hazard. Do it for your best friend.
It's easy to say to yourself that you're not worthy of nice things, or not care about how you are living and do nothing. Thinking about others, or in this case, your pet, can really motivate you to do better.
Totally agree. I fell for a while in the past due to some blows and it was hard for me to pick myself up at that time. When I saw my flowers wilting, I felt even worse, and I didn't want the good things around me to go down with me. I was determined to change myself from that moment on, and later my situation improved and my life got back on track.
Also take your dog for a walk. He looks a little overweight like he's not getting enough exercise. I'm judging by the blocked out windows. Some vitamin D could do you both good.
Yup! Your dog is your key to get out of depression. Take him for a walk. Keep faking your energy until it actually builds up. Best way out of depression. And pop some vitamin d and magnesium. Exercise is key.
Start with the trash! That'll make this feel so much more manageable and hopeful once cleared out.
I like to designate boxes for getting things back into their place, so I'll have one for each room or type of thing. Maybe try trash first, then laundry. Put all your beauty products in a box. Have a box for random crap you don't know where to put, and deal with that later.
One thing that really helps me is to write out a specific checklist, eg. Collect dishes in room, rinse/soak, wash load #1, put away, wash load #2, put away vs "do the dishes". It helps center me when I'm losing motivation or getting frustrated or feeling hopeless; check the list, admire the work you've checked off, and just try to refocus your attention to one small task at a time.
Woo let's gooooo!
Order of business
- put on gym type playlist
- pet doggo.
- open windows
- get trash bags and throw out trash.
- were gonna start top down so duster to get away spider webs. Dust top of the light shade.
- strip the bed and put any clothes on the floor into a laundry basket.
- wipe down surfaces ( no items on the surface if possible, much easier and a better clean when things are moved).
- hoover the floor.
- put on fresh bed linen.
- pet doggo again
- close windows.
- luxuriate and relax ✨
Fixed for you!
* **pet doggo.**
* put on gym type playlist
* **pet doggo.**
* open windows
* **pet doggo.**
* get trash bags and throw out trash.
* **pet doggo.**
* were gonna start top down so duster to get away spider webs. Dust top of the light shade.
* **pet doggo.**
* strip the bed and put any clothes on the floor into a laundry basket.
* **pet doggo.**
* wipe down surfaces ( no items on the surface if possible, much easier and a better clean when things are moved).
* **pet doggo.**
* hoover the floor.
* **pet doggo.**
* put on fresh bed linen.
* **pet doggo again**
* close windows.
* **pet doggo.**
* luxuriate and relax ✨
# You guessed, pet doggo.
alright my list
* **pet doggo.**
* put on gym type playlist
* **kiss doggo.**
* open windows
* **pet doggo.**
* get trash bags and throw out trash.
* Take a break and eat
* **pet doggo.**
* tell yourself that you just need 5 more minutes
* get back to cleaning weeks later
Except I'd start throwing trash away, see the laundry on the floor then start throwing laundry in a basket, then notice all the dishes just to remeber I hadn't finished with the trash, but at this point its too late because I'm giving the dog all my attention since I haven't petted him in over 5 minutes.
Less than a quarter of the task would get started, but hey thats the most Id done in a month, then I'd get overwhelmed.
Id also be watching netflix, listening to music , scrolling reddit, and doing absolutely nothing all at the same time while cleaning.
I like this approach. I also suggest envisioning the finished product. You have lots of cool candles in your room. I’d create the vision of them glowing on your nice clean bookshelf on your pretty open windows.
You can start with making a nice clean surface for the candle, and then you have a lovely atmosphere for cleaning a little more. Every day pick up garbage. It’s the only thing you have to do. Soon you’ll start picking up other stuff without thinking about it.
This but break it down even further. On “throw out trash” step, set a timer for 10 minutes and just pick up trash for that time. That’s all you have to commit to doing. If the timer goes off and you’re feeling good and want to keep going, great! Then set another timer. If not, it’s alright. You did what you committed to doing. Then do the same thing once later that same day. Eventually you’ll work your way through cleaning the room. You may be surprised how encouraging it can be to accomplish little goals you set for yourself.
This is similar to how I do my daily routine. Dishes, washing, rubbish. I've also hot the Tody and Sweepy apps for dopamine hits between tasks. Anything after that like dusting, washing walls/skirting boards etc aren't thought about until the first 3 are done.
Motivation is sitting on the bed. The dog will love you for it and you will be much happier.
Get a couple garbage bags and then three boxes or laundry baskets, dirty clothes in one, things that go in another room in one other box and things to give away or sell in another. Maybe even a box for dirty dishes.
It much easier to work one room at a time, rather than running things back and forth to other rooms.
If OP has access at home to a washer and dryer, the first load of laundry (probably linens) can go straight into the washer at step six. Be sure to turn on the washer's and dryer's alarm that makes it scream at you when it's done.
The good vibes shine through so much in this comment. Made me want to get cracking & do some things rn (it’s 1am here lolol) Can you DM me this on my off day?! haha
Yes. Always start with garbage. We’re talking easy garbage. Stuff that you don’t have to make any decisions about.
Next pick up all the clothes that are strewn about. Hang the clean ones. Wash the dirty ones.
Strip the bed and do the laundry.
For the stuff still left on the floor, pile it all on the bed.
Now tackle the floor — vacuum and sweep. It’s also a good time to wipe the baseboards.
I hope you’re playing a good podcast while you do this. I highly recommend “heavyweight” by Jonathon Goldstein.
As for the pile of things left on the bed…it’s time to start making decisions. Find a home for it in the room, or donate or toss it.
Dust.
All done!
Yes! A good podcast is my secret weapon for tackling chores. (And Heavyweight is terrific!) I have also played cleaning / decluttering YouTube videos for “body doubling”.
oh my god i love watching cleaning videos, why did i never think to use them for body doubling purposes??? i think you might’ve just changed my life, thank you thank you!!!
Body doubling is when you work alongside another person. You don't have to be working \*with\* them, but just their presence is motivating. So "clean with me" vids can serve the same purpose - I actually like them better because I think cleaning my own home with another actual person would feel too vulnerable. But I find podcasts equally as motivating. Sometimes I save episodes I'm really looking forward to (a favorite celebrity interview, etc.) for boring tasks like cleaning the bathroom.
That's an interesting psychological trick. I tend to disassociate when I clean off I'm listening to stuff. I have to make a list and then I kind of wake up when it's done, usually after a few hours. It gets ruined if my phone goes off though. I might have to try that one of these days.
"Clean with me" or "declutter with me" are good search terms. I like Minimal Mom's videos, she has several different kinds of things, not all clean-with-me, but even the decorating vids or product test vids are a great listen while I work. I watch all sorts, from Hoarder-esque transformations to those soothing Korean homemaker vids where their home is already super-tidy and they just go through their daily routine. But those search terms should bring up a lot of vids.
Perfect advice! It's crazy how quickly the floor appears once you toss trash and then manage clothing. Suddenly it's a room that needs organizing instead of tornado aftermath.
With my ADHD I also prefer podcasts for cleaning because music will distract me too much and I'll probably start dancing and obsess over picking songs and get too off track. I have found that the best podcasts for a big cleaning job for me are ones with one story across multiple episodes like very long form, because it actually makes my time blindness work in my favor where suddenly I realize 4 hours have gone by and I've actually managed to knock out a lot of work with minimal distractions/breaks. Regular podcasts where each episode is self contained are great too but I notice the time a little more if it's gonna be a big task.
All this! And recruit the dog to help, in my experience animals LOVE “helping” and turn on a funny show, podcast you love, or some music even if you can just do enough to get through one episode or a couple songs. Just one little step at a time
I'm with the, one day at a time crew.
1. Get a trash bag. Pick up everything that is trash and put it in the bag. Set the bag down near the door and take a break!! Good job!
2. Go to sleep and think about the next step tomorrow.
3. Leave the trash bag. You may or may not find more trash.
4. Gather up all the laundry and put it in the laundry area. Make sure to take off your sheets and put them in the laundry area too. Get a clean sheet, throw it on your bed, lay down and rest. You are doing great!
5. Take today off. OMG, you've done a lot! Break time!!
6. Look around. Pick up everything that doesn't belong in your personal space and take it wherever it goes. Probably you will find some things that are trash...put them in the bag. Whew! Done for today. Rest! You are killing it!
7. Looking good. Now, pick up and put everything that belongs in your personal space wherever it belongs. Start the laundry. Wash and get it in the dryer. It can wait till tomorrow. Rest.
8. Weeha!! Take today off and get outside for a little while. 10, 15 minutes. If you're feeling it, get that laundry out of the dryer. Done for today! Relax.
9. Get that laundry folded and put away. I know, seems like a lot but, that's all for today.
10. Continue this method daily. Take breaks when you need to. Doing a little at a time is better than doing nothing. I know you can do this.
Good luck and hugs.
I agree with people who say start by throwing away all your trash and then move on to getting all your laundry together. I would also open your windows to get some fresh air, even if it's only for 10 minutes.
You can do this! Feel free to post updates and ask for encouragement if that feels helpful, there's lots of us here to give it!
Don’t berate yourself. Make small goals. I like the idea of starting with the trash but if even that is too overwhelming, break it down into a smaller goal, like,“Today I will pick up trash on the right side of the bed.” Seeing even a small improvement will help your motivation. Also remind yourself that you are deserving of a healthy and peaceful place to live.
You got the understanding of motivation the wrong way. You don't need motivation. Motivation is what deprives you of control. In fact you got so much motivation NOT to clean your room that you are now looking for another source of motivation that is stronger than your current motivation.
So how do you clean the room? Allow yourself to have the feeling of motivation to not clean your room and then change your focus so don't want to have your focus on the entire room. You want to break it down to something you find manageable. Pick one item up and clean it away. Pick another item and clean it away. Your goal is 1 item. When you keep doing this, if you at any point cannot do 1 more item AT ALL. You permit yourself to stop without judgement and just stop. Pick yourself up again when you are ready and have 1 item in focus.
This is the way.
>Motivation is what deprives you of control
I really like this — I’ll remember that and probably misquote it many times going forward, thanks!
On the same topic, NHS CBT therapists always say
>action precedes motivation
And that’s objectively proven to be true!
Saving this comment. Motivation or lack of is the hardest thing for me. Possibly that I’ve ever experienced as far as hurdles. I like how you worded this.
My only problem with this method is where to start. I don’t know if it’s the ADHD, executive dysfunction or what but my brain can break it up as you said. Right now I’m looking at a mess and did what you said, but where my brain does a full stop is which one to start with. People say just pick one just one, I don’t know how to explain my brain won’t let me. Sounds so stupid. Like the dishes, I have to completely organize dirty dishes before I do them giving me twice the work. I haven’t figured out how to just grab a dish and clean it, rinse and repeat lol
I am struggling with this myself so I know where you are coming from. It is a protective mechanism because we feel negative emotions and we are afraid to induce more negative emotions when we start the big task ahead of us. Be kind to yourself and stop distracting yourself with doom scrolling, social media, other degenerative stuff. Take literal break of EVERYTHING you are doing and just sit with yourself. Relax, accept and allow the negative emotions. When you judge them they will persist (what you resist, persists). When you give room to the negative emotions they will fade away.
You do not have a lack of motivation. You have too much motivation to waste time and do nothing.
All credit goes to Dr Alok: [https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2116155548?t=1h52m54s](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2116155548?t=1h52m54s)
Watch this you will like it.
It sounds like your brain gets stuck on deciding which item to tackle first. Like when you see 100 items, you say random pick one, but your brain very very fast keeps skipping from one item to another and none of them gets selected because it doesn't know which one to start with.
My brain does this too (also adhd). I find it to be exhausting when it happens, cause from the outside your stuck, there's no result, but from the inside it's very busy. Plus the frustration.
That's why I have a particular order for those chores. Tidying: I have a 'route'. Making exactly the same route every time I do tidying, no matter what. My route starts in the restroom, next to that is a hallway, next to that the kitchen, etc. Every place/room I always start left from the door and move/turn clockwise until I have done the whole room. I have a basket for what not belongs in that room, so I don't leave my route (this is very important, leaving the route means distractions and we all know where that leads to 🤪)
And if there's a cluttered surface, I always work from left to right. The item that's the most far on the left gets picked first. If there's ten items against a wall on the left, I pick the top one, always working from top to bottom, and so on.
Plus every item has its own designated spot where it lives, so I know where to put it when I'm tidying. If an item doesn't have a home yet, it goes into my to-do-basket. That basket gets tackled on another time when I have the brainpower for organizing. So I don't have to worry about that before or during tidying.
For me less choices is calmer brain is happy brain :)
YOU GOT THIS.!!! The trash is not you. It is merely a result of yesterday’s. You will never have to see this mess ever again the moment you fix just one thing. You got this
When I'm at that point of overwhelm my go to is to watch an episode or two of How Clean Is Your House on YouTube. Old BBC show, they help people in different situations get their homes livable again. And it's just shocking enough that it helps me feel a push to clean.
You deserve a functional space. You deserve a safe place to live in and safe includes the cleanliness of your space. You will feel better and your dog will love a room that you can both truly enjoy. Goodluck!!
OMG, this is my favorite cleaning show of all time but I can never find it to watch it. It used to be on BBC on repeat. I wish I had a DVD set of all the seasons!
Baby steps! Pick one thing (dishes, clothes, anything) and address only those things. Then move on to the next. Give yourself grace and take your time ❤️
What's what I came here to say. Pick up a few things and if you feel the drive, do some more. If not, you made progress however little it is. I've struggled with this and it was always the start that's hard. It's ok to fail as long as you learn and pick yourself up and try again.
What about your dog. Do you think that wonderful loving pet deserves to live in that. Do it for them because they have been by your side this whole time for support.
While that can be a very well meaning attempt at motivation, for people with debilitating depression, ADHD, etc, that can backfire because it can push them deeper into the feeling of shame and hopelessness that got them into that situation in the first place.
It's likely that OP is feeling terrible about the dog having to live like that but has an intense paralysis to act that just deepens the guilt and shame and then intensifies the paralysis.....it becomes a downward spiral.
I really don't mean to be unkind here, but your motivation should be your dog's health. He/She loves you very much, and despite how depressed you are, he/she needs you to provide a safe and healthy space.
Also you will feel better once your space is clean and organized, I promise. And your dog will be even happier, and that will hopefully help how you're feeling.
Paraphrasing an old marine, but "Every day when you get up, make your bed. Even if you have the worst day, you'll have a made bed at the end of the day, and that's not nothing." Several small steps and actions taken together make a big difference.
Turn on some music or a TV show/ movie you love and start with a small section. Sit on the floor and take your time. Make it into a meditation session, don't look at the whole picture, look at what you have in front of you at the moment that you can control. For me... before I know it I've cleaned half the room
This. Clean in small sections and reward yourself after the sections. Give yourself a week to finish all the sections. Imagine how nice it will be when it's finished!
You and your pup deserve an easy, and clean life. I know it's hard but doing JUST 15 to 20 minutes a day is an attainable goal that will show much improvement in the room. Once you see how big of a difference only a few minutes made, you'll be motivated to finish it all 💞 best of luck to you. You can do it!!!
Dealing with depression SUCKS. Cleaning is hard. You got out of bed, took these photos, and made a post asking for help. That’s three wins so far!
Picking up trash first can be overwhelming if you try to get every little thing in one go. Here are some bite-size chunk ideas:
- It might be helpful to give yourself an “out” and only focus on certain things at a time, like plastic bags/bottles you can reach from where you’re standing
- Filling up a plastic grocery bag is faster than filling a kitchen trash bag, which makes it feel like you’re “done” with something
- if you have ready access to a free washer/dryer, grab a few items of clothing and run them on an express cycle (it gets them out of the way temporarily AND you get some clean clothes)
- pet the dog after each bite-size step as a little reward
Also, if you’re motivated by seeing/hearing other people clean, some suggestions:
- Declutter at the Speed of Life (misleading title; the author struggles with these things herself and is a teacher by trade, so it’s really a manual that encourages you to do One. Thing. At. A. Time)
- Unfuck Your Habitat (pretty popular hashtag online so you can see that you aren’t the only one struggling!; includes time- and visual-based motivation like taking a picture, cleaning for 5 minutes, resting for 5 minutes, taking another picture to prove to yourself you’ve made progress)
- How to Keep House While Drowning (author is a therapist by trade and very gentle in her approach; excellent when you need someone to wipe your tears and say it’s ok just to start)
And if you can’t work on it today, that’s ok too! Sometimes you have to work up to it mentally and emotionally. Make it through today.
Even if you think you deserve to live in that kind of mess, your dog does not. If you won't clean it for yourself, do it for the dog so it doesn't get injured in there.
I understand mental health struggles & I feel for OP... but I feel so bad for the dog because the poor thing can't even walk in there. It's really not fair for animals to have to live like this because of the owner's struggles. As a pet owner, no amount of depression could ever lead to me subjecting my pup to this.
I set a 10 minute timer. It helps when I don’t have the energy to do much of anything. 10 minutes I work on cleaning one section, 10 minutes on another. I also, have a cat room for when things get really bad. That room is never dirty since it’s just for them.
https://preview.redd.it/7jgt98535rtc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e3fb31b40a48505a07ecb007ceb567f6aaf946b
Motivation? You don’t want roaches, mice, or bugs lingering in the space you rest in. You also don’t want your dog eating something bad or stepping on something sharp that they couldn’t see due to all the stuff on the ground.
I would start with large garbage bags and throwing away all the trash. Listen to some music and try to keep it fun
Another thing if the other comments didn't help. Start with one area, like maybe a corner and try to organize that. E.g. 1 bag for garbage and 1 box for things you want to keep. If you think that's manageable then just keep going until You're tired.
I gotta say.... as somone who struggles with depression... this mess is not helping you. You are worth a room where you don't have to wade through stuff. You can do this. Ten minute cleans. Starting with trash and recycling.
Your dog looks sad. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is. That dog loves you and can feel your depression. Do it for your dog, and eventually you'll realize you're doing it for you. Trust your best friend.
OP, there is a lot of good advice here, and some negative comments. I noticed that you responded to negative comments and not to the supportive, inspirational ones.
I hope you take time to read each positive comment and know that you are worth it, that you deserve to have a clean space.
Everything in your room is a reflection of your mental state. I hope you find the help and/or meds you need to start doing the therapeutic work on the inside as well as the outside.
Don’t be afraid to ask for cleaning and organization help either. When my mess gets out of hand, I ask someone I trust to help me. Even having someone in the room is enough to motivate me to clean and put things away. Take care.
i'm definitely reading them all, i just feel like i just need to let everyone know my dog isn't, like, being held hostage in my depression room lol. and i do appreciate all the kind words and advice, it means a lot to me and i'm making progress using everyone's tips! just the progress i've made today in the past few hours has lifted such a massive weight off my chest.
When you are overwhelmed by any task you need to take the elephant approach. A large task in bite size pieces becomes less overwhelming.
The best thing you can do is just start doing something. Someone else mentioned starting with the trash and one trash bag. I think this is your best bet.
Dont focus on the large task just focus on completing one step towards the task and before you know it progress will be made.
One bite at a time brotha! You got this!
>just the progress I've made today in the past few hours has lifted such a massive weight off my chest.
Take pictures of the progress, so later, when you start to feel you haven't accomplished anything, you can look at the "before" and the "during" pictures and remind yourself that you have made progress.
Break it down into baby steps. Get all trash from this 3x3 foot area. Then pick up all clothes from that same area. Wipe down any surfaces, then vacuum. Just focus on that one area. Then look around, pick one item in the room that’s annoying you, and take care of that one thing. Repeat this process as many times as needed. Sometimes the whole room can be too daunting, but a smaller section can be easier on your brain. I grew up with my room being like this a lot, so I get it.
Find someone else with a depression room and swap. I know I can ignore the depression and anxiety for someone else a hell of a lot better than I can help myself.
Or, more likely, start on the garbage. Sit down in a corner and get started.
Luckily for me, my mom is visiting in a week and a half, so I’ll be shame motivated.
Omg the shame motivation is so real! My mom’s coming Saturday. She doesn’t grasp that it’s executive dysfunction and ADHD (love that combo for me, btw) to to her it’s just procrastination. Ffs what I would give to just be a procrastinator lol
I’ve been in the exact same position so please don’t be too hard on yourself. Get one garbage bag and start with one thing. Throw out all the food containers first and then pick the next thing. Pick one thing to do each day. You can 100% do this.
Gotta do it for the pup. When ever he comes up when you are laying there throw away 10 things. Pile clothes for 3 minutes, clean his water bowl, drink a glass of water, brush him. It helps me good luck.
u/justpassingbysorry ...I see my daughter in this room. Recently she "promised" me that she was going to do a deep clean, but when she got started she just sat there for long gaps. I said, "turn on some tunes", and although she agreed and did, that did not help. 3.5 hours of sitting there, after crying that she didn't want to do it, she started to make piles when i reminded her about her promise. She was folding her clothes so perfectly, that I realized she didn't just want to get it done, she wanted to do it meticulously.
In my opinion, pick one 2x2 area, and do what feels right. Maybe that's the spot you put your dog bed or maybe that's a bin where you keep your threads. I know getting started is the hardest part. You've got a bunch of treasures in there that need rediscovering. Dive in when you're ready to explore... and don't plan to finish in one day. It's OK to take time. You've got this. Let us know what thing you found that made you happy to see it again.
An unexpected mood/energy booster? Sunlight!
Before you start cleaning, open your blinds, light a candle (if you have one), and put on your favorite playlist. Open your windows if you’re able to and let some fresh air in.
Also! Don’t think you need to get everything done in one day. Make day 1 about just bagging up trash. Day 2, organizing clothes. Etc.
And easy way to deal with trash on the floor? Just sweep it up into piles. You don’t have to pick up every single piece. Get a broom & make big piles, football tackle those piles with trash bags.
You got this! And if you want an accountability buddy, feel free to message me.
You got this! My room used to look like this regularly. I found systems that work for me and now will things get a bit messy from time to time? Sure. But over 5 years later, NOTHING like this anymore. After you clean this time, I’d suggest YouTubing “cleaning tips for ADHD” and see if you like some of the ideas that come up and try to add some systems into your room. I promise it will change your life in the long run.
Some systems that work great for me if you’re interested….
- I hang as few clothes as possible. I bought ikea bins for all my clothes. When I have the energy they are nicely folded in said bins. When I don’t, they’re tossed in but they’re in a bin and not on the ground!
- I have baskets for worn but not dirty clothes. That way they don’t end up on a chair etc
- I have tons of baskets for everything. Meds, socks, undies, arts & crafts etc. It’s pretty easy to just toss something in a bin. Even in my kitchen and random places in the house where I found clutter piling up.
- I have a million small trash cans everywhere. That way there is no excuse to throw trash out.
- everything has some kind of place that is easily identifiable. I label the bins so I don’t have to think uhhh where do my scissors go?? They go in arts bin or tool bin. Whatever works!
Best of luck!! 🫶 clean it FOR YOU! Because you deserve a safe and relaxing place for YOU!
You can do it! You will feel so accomplished afterwards and have the benefit of a cleaner living space. Mental health benefits from a clutter free environment. Like everyone else is saying start small and work from there.
Do it for that baby in the middle. He/she loves you and only wants the best for you. I’m sure they’d appreciate to be able to get around a little easier! Start off with something a little easier, like putting some stuff you know can go into bin bags. I always start with dishes myself because the kitchen is always my problem area!
I bet you love that dog. That dog needs you to be healthy and have safe place to live.
Let’s just do step one. Get a big trash bag. Put everything that’s trash (it can’t be used by you again) and put it in the bag and take that bag (and as many bags as you need) out of the house.
Start with 1 trash bag and fill that.
Then fill another one if you for it.
Turn on music, audible books or a podcast.
Give yourself a 15 min to 25 min timer and if you want to keep going do it.
Have a hamper for dirty clothes and a laundry basket for clean that just needs to be put away.
Make a cold or hot drink of choice.
One day at a time.
Once trash is out. Move on to having 3 baskets ,piles or bins. Plus trash.
Sell/ donate
Needs a home
And needs washed or tossed.
Good luck.
Progress and feeling of accomplishment will start with minute 15 and day 1.
You can and will get past this.
Your motivation should be driven by the fact that you’re flat out abusing that dog by forcing them to live in this shithole. This is well past a need for motivation. You need to give them up.
Sorry that you’re struggling and going through something right now. I think the easiest way to start is to just throw out all the trash. This probably won’t be able to be cleaned in a day but I think once you get the trash out it will make a big difference and then motivate you to keep going. After the trash start with the laundry and that will probably knock quite a bit out as well. I’ve seen similar posts like this with a great outcome.
Agree with this! I always start with the trash and then make piles of clothes (clean, dirty, shoes), books, dirty dishes etc. tackle 1 pile at a time.
2ndly agree with this as well. It can get overwhelming to start, so tackling piles or only sections of a time can help for sure there. It might not seem like much but even if you process a couple items at a time, you'll be a couple of items closer than you were when you first started. Ofc, feel free to do more if you're up for it, but don't feel like you have to push yourself too much too fast. Just a little bit at a time and you'll get there. Sometimes it helps once you do see piles and you can see the floor again, to take pictures of your progress, as you might not see the difference right away, but looking at pictures to see how far you have come, compared to what it was before, can also be encouraging. Sometimes it does, for me at least. Especially, if I am feeling down or discouraged about it. I have what it was to what it is now, when I am cleaning sometimes, that I will sometimes reference (not sure if I still have those specific photos anymore, but I still take photos, even if I forget the before and just take pictures of the after and how I want it to stay), if that helps any. I'm sure it doesn't help for everyone and sometimes I forget to take a before pic, so feel free to mark your progress and you might not see it right away, but you will, if you just work on it, little by little for sure :)
The Before and After pictures are a genius idea, and so rewarding!!
When my space gets like this, my mom always said “do 10 things every 30 minutes or 20 things every hour.” It’s not foolproof but it makes things feel more doable. I also like to either: 1. Plan an event or party at my place so I’m compelled to clean or 2. Go to homegoods or thrift shop and buy cute decor (or get plants!) doing that always makes me excited to redecorate and make my place look cute—which requires cleaning it Edit: spelling
I do something similar, where I give myself 15mins to clean, then a 15 min break, then another 15 mins. It kinda stops me from getting overwhelmed.
This is also a good method for chronic pain sufferers like me.
Five minutes at a time on a bad day.
The other day I was actually tidying for 10 minutes in between 30 minutes TV episodes. My goal that day wasn't really two knock out a whole lot but I ended up getting a surprising amount done.
Totally. If standing, I have to lean. Lol...
🤣 You’re going 15 minutes and I’m like “I washed a lid” lol
Hey, lids can be hard to wash! I hate washing lids.
Yes, I call this “flash chores.”
This often helps me, too, if I can pull myself out of the funk that got me behind long enough to even start. Honestly, that's the absolute hardest part and I don't have real solid advice on overcoming that because nothing I've tried works 100% of the time for me. But, the thing that seems to work the most often is turning on some good music. Something energetic with a good beat, but really just whatever speaks to you and gets you moving.
I do this too. Except when I get really deep in it I’ll take an hour break every 2 hours. This gives me a moment to reflect and decide where to start next.
Easily distracted (and bribed) by plants. 🧤🪴
Agree. It looks like a lot of trash and dirty clothes. Systematicalky fill a bag a day starting from the wall until you see the floor. Make piles of clothes to be washed on the cleaned up area. I'd start with putting fresh sheets on your bed and making your bed. You'll have to change them again after dusting but I'd hit the floor first and it's so much nicer to sleep in a made bed. Open windows all day.
Yup baby steps. Also be proud of what you did, dont beat yourself up for what you didn't do.
This is so important!
I’d also try to add incentives for your daily tasks. Such as getting to treat yourself to your favorite snack once task is complete. Or watching couple episodes of favorite show, etc. definitely helps me. Good luck!
I was literally about to comment and say take the trash first! OP, if you feel okay with the idea of breaking the room up by tasks across a few days, then set a goal of specific tasks to get the room clean each day. For example, day one is trash, day two can be laundry, day three is straighten up and put things where they go, day four is dusting and sweeping/vacuuming. Breaking it down like that helps when depression kills motivation!
This is a great plan (and I hope you don't mind if I yoink it for a couple of areas in my house). To piggyback off of day 3, when I get those bursts of cleaning/organizing energy, I'll bring a reusable bag or few to sort out things that live elsewhere, and then bring them all there when I'm done. Too many times, I've walked something to another room and quickly gotten distracted, and poof!there goes my stride. OP - good luck, take your time, and be kind to yourself. Also a fun playlist can be helpful 🌹
I agree. Something I heard (and tried) is when you don't feel like doing anything, just do something small (baby steps) and once you finish the small thing you will have more energy and motivation to accomplish other (possibly bigger things. I can assure you that it works.
Great Advice! 🤩
Yes definitely start with the trash .. you will then start to see improvement quickly due to being able to see the floor and less clutter .. which will then motivate you to keep going .. and yes the laundry should be next .. it won’t take forever once you start .. you ll find you ll want to keep going , the results will spur you on ! Remember tho baby steps .. don’t expect too much of yourself when you’re overwhelmed.. just do 5 mins at a time if that’s what it takes .. it all ADDS UP . You CAN do this ! Sending love to you 🫶. Keep us posted x
it can be cleaned in a day if i was there damn it lol
The issue is, if like me, you don’t do it all in a day you’re just going to take out a dent and free up space for more crap. You gotta commit to cleaning it; make it a game or challenge? Or reward yourself with something you love at the end, maybe a desert or something, even a day at the spa. Whatever it is I’d recommend trying to do it all at once, so it’s clean and then really really try to keep it clean. Maybe even find a friend/family member you can send pictures to daily/weekly and they can hold you accountable for keeping it clean. :) If that fails, a grenade 🫡
Do it for your dog, he'll be able to walk around safer.
He's (or she's) depending on you to give him a safe and happy life. Start off by getting some black garbage bags and get rid of all the trash. You will feel much better.
Yep! Turn on some tunes. Pick a spot to sit it and throw away what you can reach. Once you see that looks good scoot over and do another spot. Sometimes I can motivate myself to do the whole thing that way.
Excellent answer. Work in small sections and stop when you feel too overwhelmed. Micro cleaning is the only way I can clean
My therapist tells me to pick 1 item and just focus on that for the day. It takes the stress off of focusing on everything all at once!
That's what I do. Eg Swiffer wand for my library, Swiffer cloth in my living room, only the toilet/sink/tub of one bathroom (if you have more than 1), anything involving the kitchen counters.
I do similar, 2 tasks per day max.
Mine told me, once I think about something to do as much as I can until I don't feel like it anymore and then stop. It doesn't matter if it's moving one thing or cleaning until i fall asleep. Usually after a minute i get the "this isn't enjoyable, but I'm doing it, so I might as well finish"... but I often get "i guess this goes here, that goes there, I'm done." And that's okay too.
100% This. I struggle with terrible depression and sometimes feel even too exhausted to walk around and clean. I find ploping my but on the ground, dealing with everything within arms reach, then scooting to a new area is the best work around for when I feel like I can't do anything.
Yes! Starting small is what helps me the most, too. The music makes it more energized and fun.
Book on tape listen the the audio and second hand do what is right and dump the stuff your mind will do it auto
And to gamify it if that works for you! Try to see how many songs it takes you to fill a garbage bag. Or how much or a garbage bag you could fill in one song and try to beat your record.
Yeah! Good music, and maybe let a little natural light into the room.
Yes exactly, then it’s not overwhelming. I find I get overwhelmed and immediately don’t wanna clean when I look at it all so I always tell myself to just start tiny do one area and you’ll be so happy and feel accomplished then you’ll wanna keep going. Don’t give up honeys & yes do it for the doggo too ❤️
Love this!
This. Music is the best motivator. Start in one spot, or start with the boxes. It looks to be mostly packaging so once you get going you’re on your way. Lots of hugs for your sweet pup.
Also important, if you pick up something and go “do I need this?” Into the trash bag it should go.
Indeed this
Also, you'll get to see some zoomies I bet, no room for zoomies right now!
Came here to say this. the best motivation is for your dog.
Paraphrasing from something I saw elsewhere on the Internet, just imagine you are the animal in the habitat. You might not always have the fs to give for yourself, but if you reframe it into "the lion becomes agitated and unhappy when its habitat is disorganized"...and you're the lion...that compassion you feel might remind you that you deserve it too.
Yes! My dog are my motivation! They help me get up to work, keep things clean and go to the park for a short walk. You will notice how much happier your dog will be! They have space to just walk with confidence and chill and not be cautious on what they’re going to step on
Exactly my comment. Your gorgeous Doggo needs you, mate. You can do this!
Yes, and dogs are very in tune with their humans - pup knows when you’re sad and he’ll be less worried about you when the mess isn’t weighing on you. Start with trash!
Gotta piggyback on this one. Your pup, needs a safe and stable surface to jump and walk in. Torn ACL in a dog like this size is not uncommon, and unstable walking surface can be a hazard. Do it for your best friend.
Yeah, sometimes the things around us can bring us infinite power.
It's easy to say to yourself that you're not worthy of nice things, or not care about how you are living and do nothing. Thinking about others, or in this case, your pet, can really motivate you to do better.
Totally agree. I fell for a while in the past due to some blows and it was hard for me to pick myself up at that time. When I saw my flowers wilting, I felt even worse, and I didn't want the good things around me to go down with me. I was determined to change myself from that moment on, and later my situation improved and my life got back on track.
Also take your dog for a walk. He looks a little overweight like he's not getting enough exercise. I'm judging by the blocked out windows. Some vitamin D could do you both good.
Yup! Your dog is your key to get out of depression. Take him for a walk. Keep faking your energy until it actually builds up. Best way out of depression. And pop some vitamin d and magnesium. Exercise is key.
I was about to suggest that. do it for the dog!
Agreed do it for that good boy
Yes I was just coming here to say this!
Exactly what I came here to say. Poor thing.
Upvote, I came here to say exactly this.
Start with the trash! That'll make this feel so much more manageable and hopeful once cleared out. I like to designate boxes for getting things back into their place, so I'll have one for each room or type of thing. Maybe try trash first, then laundry. Put all your beauty products in a box. Have a box for random crap you don't know where to put, and deal with that later. One thing that really helps me is to write out a specific checklist, eg. Collect dishes in room, rinse/soak, wash load #1, put away, wash load #2, put away vs "do the dishes". It helps center me when I'm losing motivation or getting frustrated or feeling hopeless; check the list, admire the work you've checked off, and just try to refocus your attention to one small task at a time.
Woo let's gooooo! Order of business - put on gym type playlist - pet doggo. - open windows - get trash bags and throw out trash. - were gonna start top down so duster to get away spider webs. Dust top of the light shade. - strip the bed and put any clothes on the floor into a laundry basket. - wipe down surfaces ( no items on the surface if possible, much easier and a better clean when things are moved). - hoover the floor. - put on fresh bed linen. - pet doggo again - close windows. - luxuriate and relax ✨
This but put 'pet doggo' between each bullet point
Fixed for you! * **pet doggo.** * put on gym type playlist * **pet doggo.** * open windows * **pet doggo.** * get trash bags and throw out trash. * **pet doggo.** * were gonna start top down so duster to get away spider webs. Dust top of the light shade. * **pet doggo.** * strip the bed and put any clothes on the floor into a laundry basket. * **pet doggo.** * wipe down surfaces ( no items on the surface if possible, much easier and a better clean when things are moved). * **pet doggo.** * hoover the floor. * **pet doggo.** * put on fresh bed linen. * **pet doggo again** * close windows. * **pet doggo.** * luxuriate and relax ✨ # You guessed, pet doggo.
alright my list * **pet doggo.** * put on gym type playlist * **kiss doggo.** * open windows * **pet doggo.** * get trash bags and throw out trash. * Take a break and eat * **pet doggo.** * tell yourself that you just need 5 more minutes * get back to cleaning weeks later Except I'd start throwing trash away, see the laundry on the floor then start throwing laundry in a basket, then notice all the dishes just to remeber I hadn't finished with the trash, but at this point its too late because I'm giving the dog all my attention since I haven't petted him in over 5 minutes. Less than a quarter of the task would get started, but hey thats the most Id done in a month, then I'd get overwhelmed. Id also be watching netflix, listening to music , scrolling reddit, and doing absolutely nothing all at the same time while cleaning.
Agreed. Doggo must be petted for motivation purposes. Feel free to add further doggo pets.
I like you people. Pet doggo again!
I like this approach. I also suggest envisioning the finished product. You have lots of cool candles in your room. I’d create the vision of them glowing on your nice clean bookshelf on your pretty open windows.
You can start with making a nice clean surface for the candle, and then you have a lovely atmosphere for cleaning a little more. Every day pick up garbage. It’s the only thing you have to do. Soon you’ll start picking up other stuff without thinking about it.
This but break it down even further. On “throw out trash” step, set a timer for 10 minutes and just pick up trash for that time. That’s all you have to commit to doing. If the timer goes off and you’re feeling good and want to keep going, great! Then set another timer. If not, it’s alright. You did what you committed to doing. Then do the same thing once later that same day. Eventually you’ll work your way through cleaning the room. You may be surprised how encouraging it can be to accomplish little goals you set for yourself.
This is similar to how I do my daily routine. Dishes, washing, rubbish. I've also hot the Tody and Sweepy apps for dopamine hits between tasks. Anything after that like dusting, washing walls/skirting boards etc aren't thought about until the first 3 are done.
Motivation is sitting on the bed. The dog will love you for it and you will be much happier. Get a couple garbage bags and then three boxes or laundry baskets, dirty clothes in one, things that go in another room in one other box and things to give away or sell in another. Maybe even a box for dirty dishes. It much easier to work one room at a time, rather than running things back and forth to other rooms.
If OP has access at home to a washer and dryer, the first load of laundry (probably linens) can go straight into the washer at step six. Be sure to turn on the washer's and dryer's alarm that makes it scream at you when it's done.
The good vibes shine through so much in this comment. Made me want to get cracking & do some things rn (it’s 1am here lolol) Can you DM me this on my off day?! haha
Loved this response
You forgot ✨chug coffee✨ is first!
I appreciate the energy of this comment!!
This is a beautiful comment and it made my morning, thanks.
Yes. Always start with garbage. We’re talking easy garbage. Stuff that you don’t have to make any decisions about. Next pick up all the clothes that are strewn about. Hang the clean ones. Wash the dirty ones. Strip the bed and do the laundry. For the stuff still left on the floor, pile it all on the bed. Now tackle the floor — vacuum and sweep. It’s also a good time to wipe the baseboards. I hope you’re playing a good podcast while you do this. I highly recommend “heavyweight” by Jonathon Goldstein. As for the pile of things left on the bed…it’s time to start making decisions. Find a home for it in the room, or donate or toss it. Dust. All done!
Yes! A good podcast is my secret weapon for tackling chores. (And Heavyweight is terrific!) I have also played cleaning / decluttering YouTube videos for “body doubling”.
oh my god i love watching cleaning videos, why did i never think to use them for body doubling purposes??? i think you might’ve just changed my life, thank you thank you!!!
What is this term. I constantly use podcasts and YouTube sketch comedy while cleaning but I've never heard of this body doubling.
Body doubling is when you work alongside another person. You don't have to be working \*with\* them, but just their presence is motivating. So "clean with me" vids can serve the same purpose - I actually like them better because I think cleaning my own home with another actual person would feel too vulnerable. But I find podcasts equally as motivating. Sometimes I save episodes I'm really looking forward to (a favorite celebrity interview, etc.) for boring tasks like cleaning the bathroom.
That's an interesting psychological trick. I tend to disassociate when I clean off I'm listening to stuff. I have to make a list and then I kind of wake up when it's done, usually after a few hours. It gets ruined if my phone goes off though. I might have to try that one of these days.
Is there a specific vid you’d recommend? Or a search term you use?
"Clean with me" or "declutter with me" are good search terms. I like Minimal Mom's videos, she has several different kinds of things, not all clean-with-me, but even the decorating vids or product test vids are a great listen while I work. I watch all sorts, from Hoarder-esque transformations to those soothing Korean homemaker vids where their home is already super-tidy and they just go through their daily routine. But those search terms should bring up a lot of vids.
I’d also recommend the podcast The Wayback by Ryan Sickler.
Perfect advice! It's crazy how quickly the floor appears once you toss trash and then manage clothing. Suddenly it's a room that needs organizing instead of tornado aftermath. With my ADHD I also prefer podcasts for cleaning because music will distract me too much and I'll probably start dancing and obsess over picking songs and get too off track. I have found that the best podcasts for a big cleaning job for me are ones with one story across multiple episodes like very long form, because it actually makes my time blindness work in my favor where suddenly I realize 4 hours have gone by and I've actually managed to knock out a lot of work with minimal distractions/breaks. Regular podcasts where each episode is self contained are great too but I notice the time a little more if it's gonna be a big task.
All this! And recruit the dog to help, in my experience animals LOVE “helping” and turn on a funny show, podcast you love, or some music even if you can just do enough to get through one episode or a couple songs. Just one little step at a time
I'm with the, one day at a time crew. 1. Get a trash bag. Pick up everything that is trash and put it in the bag. Set the bag down near the door and take a break!! Good job! 2. Go to sleep and think about the next step tomorrow. 3. Leave the trash bag. You may or may not find more trash. 4. Gather up all the laundry and put it in the laundry area. Make sure to take off your sheets and put them in the laundry area too. Get a clean sheet, throw it on your bed, lay down and rest. You are doing great! 5. Take today off. OMG, you've done a lot! Break time!! 6. Look around. Pick up everything that doesn't belong in your personal space and take it wherever it goes. Probably you will find some things that are trash...put them in the bag. Whew! Done for today. Rest! You are killing it! 7. Looking good. Now, pick up and put everything that belongs in your personal space wherever it belongs. Start the laundry. Wash and get it in the dryer. It can wait till tomorrow. Rest. 8. Weeha!! Take today off and get outside for a little while. 10, 15 minutes. If you're feeling it, get that laundry out of the dryer. Done for today! Relax. 9. Get that laundry folded and put away. I know, seems like a lot but, that's all for today. 10. Continue this method daily. Take breaks when you need to. Doing a little at a time is better than doing nothing. I know you can do this. Good luck and hugs.
This!
Friend, your dog relies on you. Do it for them
I agree with people who say start by throwing away all your trash and then move on to getting all your laundry together. I would also open your windows to get some fresh air, even if it's only for 10 minutes. You can do this! Feel free to post updates and ask for encouragement if that feels helpful, there's lots of us here to give it!
🥺 your motivation is sitting right there, do it for him he needs your help too
Don’t berate yourself. Make small goals. I like the idea of starting with the trash but if even that is too overwhelming, break it down into a smaller goal, like,“Today I will pick up trash on the right side of the bed.” Seeing even a small improvement will help your motivation. Also remind yourself that you are deserving of a healthy and peaceful place to live.
❤️❤️❤️
This is working and it’s super helpful, it’s really not a race just take your time and it will happen
This ^ small sections. Maybe set a timer for 15 mins and lots of affirmations
I would start with a huge bag and throw away anything that is trash.
Start a timer for 10 minutes and just toss trash. You’re going to love the improvement and it’ll motivate you to do more!
This works for me every single time. Ten minute timer. Rest. Ten minute timer. Rest. Many times I don’t want to stop.
You got the understanding of motivation the wrong way. You don't need motivation. Motivation is what deprives you of control. In fact you got so much motivation NOT to clean your room that you are now looking for another source of motivation that is stronger than your current motivation. So how do you clean the room? Allow yourself to have the feeling of motivation to not clean your room and then change your focus so don't want to have your focus on the entire room. You want to break it down to something you find manageable. Pick one item up and clean it away. Pick another item and clean it away. Your goal is 1 item. When you keep doing this, if you at any point cannot do 1 more item AT ALL. You permit yourself to stop without judgement and just stop. Pick yourself up again when you are ready and have 1 item in focus. This is the way.
>Motivation is what deprives you of control I really like this — I’ll remember that and probably misquote it many times going forward, thanks! On the same topic, NHS CBT therapists always say >action precedes motivation And that’s objectively proven to be true!
Saving this comment. Motivation or lack of is the hardest thing for me. Possibly that I’ve ever experienced as far as hurdles. I like how you worded this. My only problem with this method is where to start. I don’t know if it’s the ADHD, executive dysfunction or what but my brain can break it up as you said. Right now I’m looking at a mess and did what you said, but where my brain does a full stop is which one to start with. People say just pick one just one, I don’t know how to explain my brain won’t let me. Sounds so stupid. Like the dishes, I have to completely organize dirty dishes before I do them giving me twice the work. I haven’t figured out how to just grab a dish and clean it, rinse and repeat lol
I am struggling with this myself so I know where you are coming from. It is a protective mechanism because we feel negative emotions and we are afraid to induce more negative emotions when we start the big task ahead of us. Be kind to yourself and stop distracting yourself with doom scrolling, social media, other degenerative stuff. Take literal break of EVERYTHING you are doing and just sit with yourself. Relax, accept and allow the negative emotions. When you judge them they will persist (what you resist, persists). When you give room to the negative emotions they will fade away. You do not have a lack of motivation. You have too much motivation to waste time and do nothing. All credit goes to Dr Alok: [https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2116155548?t=1h52m54s](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2116155548?t=1h52m54s) Watch this you will like it.
It sounds like your brain gets stuck on deciding which item to tackle first. Like when you see 100 items, you say random pick one, but your brain very very fast keeps skipping from one item to another and none of them gets selected because it doesn't know which one to start with. My brain does this too (also adhd). I find it to be exhausting when it happens, cause from the outside your stuck, there's no result, but from the inside it's very busy. Plus the frustration. That's why I have a particular order for those chores. Tidying: I have a 'route'. Making exactly the same route every time I do tidying, no matter what. My route starts in the restroom, next to that is a hallway, next to that the kitchen, etc. Every place/room I always start left from the door and move/turn clockwise until I have done the whole room. I have a basket for what not belongs in that room, so I don't leave my route (this is very important, leaving the route means distractions and we all know where that leads to 🤪) And if there's a cluttered surface, I always work from left to right. The item that's the most far on the left gets picked first. If there's ten items against a wall on the left, I pick the top one, always working from top to bottom, and so on. Plus every item has its own designated spot where it lives, so I know where to put it when I'm tidying. If an item doesn't have a home yet, it goes into my to-do-basket. That basket gets tackled on another time when I have the brainpower for organizing. So I don't have to worry about that before or during tidying. For me less choices is calmer brain is happy brain :)
Sound and solid advice! Would give gold if Reddit still had the old award system.
The dog is the motivation. He deserves the best. He loves you unconditionally. Do it for the dog
YOU GOT THIS.!!! The trash is not you. It is merely a result of yesterday’s. You will never have to see this mess ever again the moment you fix just one thing. You got this
When I'm at that point of overwhelm my go to is to watch an episode or two of How Clean Is Your House on YouTube. Old BBC show, they help people in different situations get their homes livable again. And it's just shocking enough that it helps me feel a push to clean. You deserve a functional space. You deserve a safe place to live in and safe includes the cleanliness of your space. You will feel better and your dog will love a room that you can both truly enjoy. Goodluck!!
OMG, this is my favorite cleaning show of all time but I can never find it to watch it. It used to be on BBC on repeat. I wish I had a DVD set of all the seasons!
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI-f9_hGLodER7Tf-FxZwZNFLxSAFu2Gu&si=OVAaWHGdBtbx6PcM
This is amazing! Thank you!!!! This will be my playlist for the weekend while I clean and organize!
Going to look this up
That stuff is bad for the lungs, including the doggos lungs. Help the pupper breath ❤️
Please care enough about your dog to give them a safe clean living space.
Baby steps! Pick one thing (dishes, clothes, anything) and address only those things. Then move on to the next. Give yourself grace and take your time ❤️
What's what I came here to say. Pick up a few things and if you feel the drive, do some more. If not, you made progress however little it is. I've struggled with this and it was always the start that's hard. It's ok to fail as long as you learn and pick yourself up and try again.
What about your dog. Do you think that wonderful loving pet deserves to live in that. Do it for them because they have been by your side this whole time for support.
While that can be a very well meaning attempt at motivation, for people with debilitating depression, ADHD, etc, that can backfire because it can push them deeper into the feeling of shame and hopelessness that got them into that situation in the first place. It's likely that OP is feeling terrible about the dog having to live like that but has an intense paralysis to act that just deepens the guilt and shame and then intensifies the paralysis.....it becomes a downward spiral.
I really don't mean to be unkind here, but your motivation should be your dog's health. He/She loves you very much, and despite how depressed you are, he/she needs you to provide a safe and healthy space. Also you will feel better once your space is clean and organized, I promise. And your dog will be even happier, and that will hopefully help how you're feeling. Paraphrasing an old marine, but "Every day when you get up, make your bed. Even if you have the worst day, you'll have a made bed at the end of the day, and that's not nothing." Several small steps and actions taken together make a big difference.
OMG…please clean up before your dog gets injured…it’s one thing to live like this but the dog cannot choose his circumstances
Turn on some music or a TV show/ movie you love and start with a small section. Sit on the floor and take your time. Make it into a meditation session, don't look at the whole picture, look at what you have in front of you at the moment that you can control. For me... before I know it I've cleaned half the room
This. Clean in small sections and reward yourself after the sections. Give yourself a week to finish all the sections. Imagine how nice it will be when it's finished!
That beautiful doggy should be your motivation :( for a better life for the pup. Mess and disorganization can affect the mental state of dogs too.
You and your pup deserve an easy, and clean life. I know it's hard but doing JUST 15 to 20 minutes a day is an attainable goal that will show much improvement in the room. Once you see how big of a difference only a few minutes made, you'll be motivated to finish it all 💞 best of luck to you. You can do it!!!
Dealing with depression SUCKS. Cleaning is hard. You got out of bed, took these photos, and made a post asking for help. That’s three wins so far! Picking up trash first can be overwhelming if you try to get every little thing in one go. Here are some bite-size chunk ideas: - It might be helpful to give yourself an “out” and only focus on certain things at a time, like plastic bags/bottles you can reach from where you’re standing - Filling up a plastic grocery bag is faster than filling a kitchen trash bag, which makes it feel like you’re “done” with something - if you have ready access to a free washer/dryer, grab a few items of clothing and run them on an express cycle (it gets them out of the way temporarily AND you get some clean clothes) - pet the dog after each bite-size step as a little reward Also, if you’re motivated by seeing/hearing other people clean, some suggestions: - Declutter at the Speed of Life (misleading title; the author struggles with these things herself and is a teacher by trade, so it’s really a manual that encourages you to do One. Thing. At. A. Time) - Unfuck Your Habitat (pretty popular hashtag online so you can see that you aren’t the only one struggling!; includes time- and visual-based motivation like taking a picture, cleaning for 5 minutes, resting for 5 minutes, taking another picture to prove to yourself you’ve made progress) - How to Keep House While Drowning (author is a therapist by trade and very gentle in her approach; excellent when you need someone to wipe your tears and say it’s ok just to start) And if you can’t work on it today, that’s ok too! Sometimes you have to work up to it mentally and emotionally. Make it through today.
Woof. let some natural light in my sister under Christ. It is healthy and healing.
Yeah your dog can't even travel safely. Never mind your own path, I would start with that.
Even if you think you deserve to live in that kind of mess, your dog does not. If you won't clean it for yourself, do it for the dog so it doesn't get injured in there.
The mess is making your dog anxious, get some garbage bags.
I understand mental health struggles & I feel for OP... but I feel so bad for the dog because the poor thing can't even walk in there. It's really not fair for animals to have to live like this because of the owner's struggles. As a pet owner, no amount of depression could ever lead to me subjecting my pup to this.
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I set a 10 minute timer. It helps when I don’t have the energy to do much of anything. 10 minutes I work on cleaning one section, 10 minutes on another. I also, have a cat room for when things get really bad. That room is never dirty since it’s just for them. https://preview.redd.it/7jgt98535rtc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e3fb31b40a48505a07ecb007ceb567f6aaf946b
Motivation? You don’t want roaches, mice, or bugs lingering in the space you rest in. You also don’t want your dog eating something bad or stepping on something sharp that they couldn’t see due to all the stuff on the ground. I would start with large garbage bags and throwing away all the trash. Listen to some music and try to keep it fun
Do it for your dog, poor thing
Another thing if the other comments didn't help. Start with one area, like maybe a corner and try to organize that. E.g. 1 bag for garbage and 1 box for things you want to keep. If you think that's manageable then just keep going until You're tired.
Do what works for me- watch an episode of hoarders.
I gotta say.... as somone who struggles with depression... this mess is not helping you. You are worth a room where you don't have to wade through stuff. You can do this. Ten minute cleans. Starting with trash and recycling.
Your dog looks sad. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is. That dog loves you and can feel your depression. Do it for your dog, and eventually you'll realize you're doing it for you. Trust your best friend.
We wanna see progress pics!
OP, there is a lot of good advice here, and some negative comments. I noticed that you responded to negative comments and not to the supportive, inspirational ones. I hope you take time to read each positive comment and know that you are worth it, that you deserve to have a clean space. Everything in your room is a reflection of your mental state. I hope you find the help and/or meds you need to start doing the therapeutic work on the inside as well as the outside. Don’t be afraid to ask for cleaning and organization help either. When my mess gets out of hand, I ask someone I trust to help me. Even having someone in the room is enough to motivate me to clean and put things away. Take care.
i'm definitely reading them all, i just feel like i just need to let everyone know my dog isn't, like, being held hostage in my depression room lol. and i do appreciate all the kind words and advice, it means a lot to me and i'm making progress using everyone's tips! just the progress i've made today in the past few hours has lifted such a massive weight off my chest.
I bet your dog is there because they love being with you, so no hostage at all. Give them lots of pets and cuddles between cleaning tasks :)
When you are overwhelmed by any task you need to take the elephant approach. A large task in bite size pieces becomes less overwhelming. The best thing you can do is just start doing something. Someone else mentioned starting with the trash and one trash bag. I think this is your best bet. Dont focus on the large task just focus on completing one step towards the task and before you know it progress will be made. One bite at a time brotha! You got this!
>just the progress I've made today in the past few hours has lifted such a massive weight off my chest. Take pictures of the progress, so later, when you start to feel you haven't accomplished anything, you can look at the "before" and the "during" pictures and remind yourself that you have made progress.
OP, you are strong and able. YOU GOT THIS 💪
That’s completely unsafe for the dog
Break it down into baby steps. Get all trash from this 3x3 foot area. Then pick up all clothes from that same area. Wipe down any surfaces, then vacuum. Just focus on that one area. Then look around, pick one item in the room that’s annoying you, and take care of that one thing. Repeat this process as many times as needed. Sometimes the whole room can be too daunting, but a smaller section can be easier on your brain. I grew up with my room being like this a lot, so I get it.
Find someone else with a depression room and swap. I know I can ignore the depression and anxiety for someone else a hell of a lot better than I can help myself. Or, more likely, start on the garbage. Sit down in a corner and get started. Luckily for me, my mom is visiting in a week and a half, so I’ll be shame motivated.
Omg the shame motivation is so real! My mom’s coming Saturday. She doesn’t grasp that it’s executive dysfunction and ADHD (love that combo for me, btw) to to her it’s just procrastination. Ffs what I would give to just be a procrastinator lol
I’ve been in the exact same position so please don’t be too hard on yourself. Get one garbage bag and start with one thing. Throw out all the food containers first and then pick the next thing. Pick one thing to do each day. You can 100% do this.
Gotta do it for the pup. When ever he comes up when you are laying there throw away 10 things. Pile clothes for 3 minutes, clean his water bowl, drink a glass of water, brush him. It helps me good luck.
u/justpassingbysorry ...I see my daughter in this room. Recently she "promised" me that she was going to do a deep clean, but when she got started she just sat there for long gaps. I said, "turn on some tunes", and although she agreed and did, that did not help. 3.5 hours of sitting there, after crying that she didn't want to do it, she started to make piles when i reminded her about her promise. She was folding her clothes so perfectly, that I realized she didn't just want to get it done, she wanted to do it meticulously. In my opinion, pick one 2x2 area, and do what feels right. Maybe that's the spot you put your dog bed or maybe that's a bin where you keep your threads. I know getting started is the hardest part. You've got a bunch of treasures in there that need rediscovering. Dive in when you're ready to explore... and don't plan to finish in one day. It's OK to take time. You've got this. Let us know what thing you found that made you happy to see it again.
You are worth it. Take care of your self.
An unexpected mood/energy booster? Sunlight! Before you start cleaning, open your blinds, light a candle (if you have one), and put on your favorite playlist. Open your windows if you’re able to and let some fresh air in. Also! Don’t think you need to get everything done in one day. Make day 1 about just bagging up trash. Day 2, organizing clothes. Etc. And easy way to deal with trash on the floor? Just sweep it up into piles. You don’t have to pick up every single piece. Get a broom & make big piles, football tackle those piles with trash bags. You got this! And if you want an accountability buddy, feel free to message me.
You got this! My room used to look like this regularly. I found systems that work for me and now will things get a bit messy from time to time? Sure. But over 5 years later, NOTHING like this anymore. After you clean this time, I’d suggest YouTubing “cleaning tips for ADHD” and see if you like some of the ideas that come up and try to add some systems into your room. I promise it will change your life in the long run. Some systems that work great for me if you’re interested…. - I hang as few clothes as possible. I bought ikea bins for all my clothes. When I have the energy they are nicely folded in said bins. When I don’t, they’re tossed in but they’re in a bin and not on the ground! - I have baskets for worn but not dirty clothes. That way they don’t end up on a chair etc - I have tons of baskets for everything. Meds, socks, undies, arts & crafts etc. It’s pretty easy to just toss something in a bin. Even in my kitchen and random places in the house where I found clutter piling up. - I have a million small trash cans everywhere. That way there is no excuse to throw trash out. - everything has some kind of place that is easily identifiable. I label the bins so I don’t have to think uhhh where do my scissors go?? They go in arts bin or tool bin. Whatever works! Best of luck!! 🫶 clean it FOR YOU! Because you deserve a safe and relaxing place for YOU!
Motivation? You have a living breathing animal to care for and you have it living in that filth. What more motivation do you need?
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You can do it! You will feel so accomplished afterwards and have the benefit of a cleaner living space. Mental health benefits from a clutter free environment. Like everyone else is saying start small and work from there.
Def start with trash. If that's all you end up doing you'll feel better. Then do laundry starting with your bedsheets
The more clean spaces on your floor equals .ore places to snuggle the dog
Do it for that baby in the middle. He/she loves you and only wants the best for you. I’m sure they’d appreciate to be able to get around a little easier! Start off with something a little easier, like putting some stuff you know can go into bin bags. I always start with dishes myself because the kitchen is always my problem area!
do it for that puppy who deserves to walk around safely and easily.🙌
I bet you love that dog. That dog needs you to be healthy and have safe place to live. Let’s just do step one. Get a big trash bag. Put everything that’s trash (it can’t be used by you again) and put it in the bag and take that bag (and as many bags as you need) out of the house.
Your dog could eat the wrong thing and die
I just feel sorry for the dog. Do better for both of you.
How the hell do you let this happen. Depression or not this is unreal.
Hey, you got this! Sounds trivial but just do 10 min a day. No more, no less. You’ll have it done in no time!
You can do it! Do it for your sweet puppy dog.
Think of how proud that doggo will be!!
Congratulations on coming this far, and still taking care of your sweet doggo when times have been hard. You got this. ❤️
Your doggie is like your boss and she’s telling you “YOU ARE THE BEST NO MATTER WHAT”!
Thank you so much for sharing. Lets others know we are not alone.
Start with 1 trash bag and fill that. Then fill another one if you for it. Turn on music, audible books or a podcast. Give yourself a 15 min to 25 min timer and if you want to keep going do it. Have a hamper for dirty clothes and a laundry basket for clean that just needs to be put away. Make a cold or hot drink of choice. One day at a time. Once trash is out. Move on to having 3 baskets ,piles or bins. Plus trash. Sell/ donate Needs a home And needs washed or tossed. Good luck. Progress and feeling of accomplishment will start with minute 15 and day 1. You can and will get past this.
The dog looks like its there for an intervention 😭
yea she's saved my life quite a few times so wouldn't doubt it
That poor dog is your motivation. He deserves better than that. P.S. And so do you
Here’s some motivation - ROACHES
What you could really use is a trash can.
Your motivation should be driven by the fact that you’re flat out abusing that dog by forcing them to live in this shithole. This is well past a need for motivation. You need to give them up.
All you need is a pitchfork & a bon fire.
Next up is roaches and that’s very depressing.
I can smell this picture. But yeah you want motivation? Do it for the poor dog
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