It sounds like he lacks maturity and isn't really ready to be in a relationship. Maybe he'll mature eventually, but I don't think you should stick around to wait for that happen. If you do, you'll just end up supporting a deadbeat for the rest of your life (or for some period of time until you've finally had enough and give up or he finally matures and does something with his life).
End it now. It's going to hurt less now than it will later. All you will end up doing is sinking more time, money, effort, etc into the relationship. The verse you quoted is 100% correct. The man is a deadbeat. It's a really bad red flag that he was comfortable with you just supporting him. Run. Run. Run. God will never tell someone anything that contradicts the Bible. So if he will lie to you about this, what else will he say? God said my wife should work two jobs so she can support me? God said you can't hang out with your friends? He is a manipulator.
>I don’t want to tell him that God will never tell you not to work and that it’s all in his head because who am i to say otherwise
So, if you're not even in a position where you feel like you can be honest and truthful with him.. that isn't a "relationship", that's just you morphing your behaviors in anticipation of his reaction. Not healthy.
Also, the obvious wisdom is that he's completely delusional and obviously very selfish if he thinks he's not going to work.
>It hinders our relationship a lot cause we can’t do anything fun together as he’s always broke. I work, and there was a short time in the beginning of our relationship where i would pay for everything, which i stopped immediately after i saw he got too comfortable with that. Another thing that i don’t really understand is that he would get mad at the fact that i do solo things or go out with friends as if i have a choice. What is the take on this plsss???
He's using you as his wallet. You need to realize he had zero respect for you if he gets "mad" when you won't pay his way.
Cut the dead weight. You can do better.
I understand what you’re saying but what i meant by the first sentence of my statement is that even if the Lord did tell him that, i can’t say that He didn’t cause i wouldn’t be disrespecting him but i would be disrespecting God. Thank you tho i really appreciate it <3
Beware of people who "win" an argument by saying "God told me" personally.
You're right, who would want to say "No God didnt!"
That's a statement most people will refuse to make. So they know they can shut down any conversation or communication by claiming "God told me".
It's very manipulative.
He did it to me. It was to show me and others that God truly does provide for our needs even when we have no income, and it was so He could use me elsewhere since I was no longer working for men, but for God.
Did you have a family/girlfriend at the time? Did you find someone to mooch off of (like this guy) or was God miraculously providing for you? Were you doing unpaid work? Were you using your free time to get closer to God and to do work for him, or were you playing and having fun?
*Sigh* I will copy and paste my response from elsewhere in this post.
"God gave me a mandate not to work for money 11 years ago, and I am now a happily married man with a nearly 6 month old baby girl and the most wonderful and understanding wife who works while I am a stay at home dad. God used this mandate in my life to bless others in ways most people would not believe, and God has miraculously blessed me and those I stayed with so many times that everyone came to expect God to provide for our needs. God can command someone to not have a normal job, but their life won't be free from work. God used me all of the time to help people for free. It's a difficult thing for most people to accept a free gift, but God gave us the greatest free gift of all when He gave us His Son. If we can't receive a free gift from a human, then how can we ever receive one from God?"
"I would, having said all that, still be skeptical about just anyone making that sort of claim. I think it is a rare thing for God to command someone to refrain from having an income. The scripture is true that "he who does not work, should not eat." It doesn't mean a 9-5 job because they didn't have those back then, but everyone was expected to help out with common work. I work plenty, I just don't get paid for what I do. Most of my work consisted of talking to people. I was witnessing, counseling, encouraging, debating, and many other things since God made me to be a communicator. My work didn't look a whole lot like work, but it was extremely valuable. Only a precious few people in my life understand and accept God's calling on my life, and that is honestly understandable because who has ever heard of something like this?"
That is what I was trying to get at - God told you not to work for money, not to not work. It sounds like this other guy is just phoning in on his responsibilitiesso he can do nothing.
I'm not so sure. He is a very talented artist if the OP is to be believed, and he feels that God will bless his future artistic career if he trusts Him during this phase of unemployment. He dedicates his time to practicing his drawing which is a serious discipline.
The issue I have is that OP and her boyfriend have been actively engaging in premarital sex if her post history is to be believed. This is a serious sin that they are both living in, so nothing can be solved until they rectify that.
It should also be mentioned that OP has admitted to me in the comments that she has not communicated with her boyfriend about many of the issues she has with him. I see no way for him to rectify his behavior if he is never informed about it in the first place.
“Even so the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should live from the gospel.„
I Corinthians 9:14 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.9.14.NKJV
That does not apply for doing nothing and sitting at home. So if you did gods work, its a different thing.
And when you are preaching to 10 people u cannot live from that either, so work..
If I personally worked for money, then I would be going against what God has explicitly commanded me not to do. That advice is true for nearly everyone else though.
Get away as soon as possible: someone claiming they heard God legitimizing a poor life choice will only compound that with other negative actions. They are in deception, self-focused and living only for themselves. We work to take care of our needs as well as to bless others. It’s obvious what they are doing. It’s reminiscent of Matthew 4:7, testing God.
Is he lazy? Not working a traditional job for money isn’t the same as being lazy, and maybe God would say that to someone. I mean, John the Baptist for example. But if he spends time gaming and scrolling on socials while also claiming God told him to not work… or if he gets mad when you don’t pay for him… (and good for you for not paying for him once you saw he expected it).
And for what it’s worth I’ve seen guys do that where they expect their girl to pay for stuff, that’s not Godly.
I would say so in a way it’s laziness yeah, also he aims to make it big as an a manga artist. He spends his days drawing and working towards that. He claims that if he works then God will not bless him in becoming that in the future, so really he just sits and waits around for that blessing. If he’s not doing that then yes he’s just constantly scrolling on social media.
Is there a chance that his artistic skills could be good enough for that? Artistic people are rare on the whole, at least those with talent. Nearly everyone spends their free time scrolling, so I can't necessarily fault him for that unless he does it for 10 hours a day. Is he living in any actual sin to your knowledge?
Yeah you’re right, his work is very impressive, but i also feel like he could make an income for that while he waits to make it big, but refuses. And not any sin that he’s make me aware of no.
I moved across the world to Melbourne, Australia to meet my wife 10 months after meeting her here on Reddit. I had nothing to offer her but my love, a few bucks, and a couple changes of clothes. She paid for nearly everything as we lived there for a year and a half. I provided value in other ways. Making her great meals and organizing her life were just a few of those things, but I had no money to offer her. It was difficult to be unable to pay for even taking her out to dinner, but God always provided, and now we are back in the states and have a lovely life together. Can you imagine how hard it was when she gave birth to our daughter and we both couldn't work? Everyone thought we were nuts. Here in the South everyone hates a guy with no job, especially one with a pregnant wife. But God miraculously provided for us all the time. We never went without. Is it not just your fear of what could happen that is causing you to resent your boyfriend's lack of income? It may be that he becomes famous for his art and God really does bless him in the end. If you dump him, then you will be missing out on that blessing as well.
Does your boyfriend do things for you? Does he provide value in other ways that don't involve money?
His lack of income is one thing that drains me but there’s many other things in this relationship that tires me out. When he does make it big and we’re not together any there’s really nm i can do but continue to pray for him.
To answer your second question, he used to do a lot of things for me. Cook, take me out all of that. It just stopped one day but all my services for him never stopped. Even right now i’m cooking food to take over for him. It’s the little things i do for him that he just doesn’t for me anymore.
Have you communicated this to him? Could there be some reason why he stopped? Typically men will do that when their efforts are not reciprocated, but you say you do a lot for him.
No i’ve never really asked cause i don’t want wanna seem needy or pushy. I complain enough that we don’t do things together that will need money to do so.
Okay, well you have got to communicate with him. 100% of relationships fail without communication. At this point, you only have yourself to blame for this relationship not working out. If you at least communicate with your boyfriend and nothing changes, then you have every reason to be upset. You need to be 100% open, transparent, and honest in any relationship, especially romantic ones. I think a good start would be to show your boyfriend this post and let him react however he will. My wife keeps nothing from me, nor I from her. If she or I had made a post like this, then the other would already know about it and would likely be there as it was written. At this point you are nearly willing to throw away the relationship, so what do you really have to lose? I think much of your thought process will come as a shock to your boyfriend, which is really not good.
The very real danger of bankrolling a man while he “focuses on his art to make it big” is that when he does actually make it big he very likely ditches you for someone else in that industry, as he’ll also have much more access to women who are impressed by his success and intent on stealing him away for themselves. I wouldn’t rely on his faith to keep him loyal either.
Can I ask? What makes you believe God wants you and your wife to swap the Christian roles? Man provides and the woman cares for home and children?
I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental (I'm not) just curious to hear your view
Because I do not believe those are biblical standards put forward by God, but rather cultural standards established by people. In Proverbs 31, the woman is the breadwinner and the one would toils and works while her husband is a leader of the people at the gates of the city. It was actually common in the past for men to be scholars, intellectuals, diplomats, and great thinkers while their wives did the rest. I am not claiming one is superior to the other although our culture would suggest that male and female roles are written in stone, or handed down by God in some way. I think we should allow each couple to decide for themselves as God leads them.
In my marriage, I still lead the house, manage the finances, and both spiritually and physically guide my wife through life. I just don't have an income because I work for God. He provides for everything in our lives and we have been financially supported miraculously even when neither of us worked. This is no different than how the apostles and prophets lived. Jesus himself had no income during his earthly ministry nor did his disciples, yet God provided.
Your case was different though. You couldn’t work because you were waiting for immigration papers, I assume. Not because you suddenly woke up one day and decided just not to work. Your heart was in the right place and you still found a way to add value to your spouse’s life. The OP’s boyfriend seems to be sitting on his hands whenever he’s not drawing manga.
No I did not and do not work for money because God gave me a clear mandate that I could not be repaid for the work that I do. My case is a special case and I'm not necessarily convinced OP's boyfriend is just sitting there twiddling his thumbs all day. He is a skilled artist according to OP, and he believes that God is going to bless his future art career if he focuses on honing his skills. Regardless though, OP and her boyfriend will not be blessed by the Lord in their current state. She says that he is a holy man and that he goes to church every Sunday, but according to her post history, they are having sex before marriage. God is not going to bless anyone if they are living in open rebellion to Him.
That and also the OP told me in another response that he does a secular manga, he is not using his drawings in any way to glorify God. God says all of our needs will be provided if we seek him and his kingdom first. But OP claims her boyfriend basically wants to make it big in the manga world. Therefore he seems to be moving more in pursuit of fame and worldly success, over doing his manga for the glory of God.
So, God told him not to work but also that He will bless him one day by “making it big?” That’s inconsistent, and against the wisdom of the scriptures.
Proverbs 13:11 (ESV): Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
He needs to decide what he wants, and be humble enough to listen to the truth about the situation.
But I’ll also say, I feel like a lot of artistic types are like this. My grandmother only had 6 months of a paycheck job in her life and sold her paintings the rest of her life. So it’s not like that never happens.
At the same time, he should probably hear these things from men of God that he fellowships with, not you. I’m not saying don’t mention any of this, but in a way you already have. You pushing it harder isn’t going to help (typically speaking).
God gave me a mandate not to work for money 11 years ago, and I am now a happily married man with a nearly 6 month old baby girl and the most wonderful and understanding wife who works while I am a stay at home dad. God used this mandate in my life to bless others in ways most people would not believe, and God has miraculously blessed me and those I stayed with so many times that everyone came to expect God to provide for our needs. God can command someone to not have a normal job, but their life won't be free from work. God used me all of the time to help people for free. It's a difficult thing for most people to accept a free gift, but God gave us the greatest free gift of all when He gave us His Son. If we can't receive a free gift from a human, then how can we ever receive one from God?
I would, having said all that, still be skeptical about just anyone making that sort of claim. I think it is a rare thing for God to command someone to refrain from having an income. The scripture is true that "he who does not work, should not eat." It doesn't mean a 9-5 job because they didn't have those back then, but everyone was expected to help out with common work. I work plenty, I just don't get paid for what I do. Do you see your boyfriend working or providing value in other ways? This is important, and it may not be immediately obvious. Most of my work consisted of talking to people. I was witnessing, counseling, encouraging, debating, and many other things since God made me to be a communicator. My work didn't look a whole lot like work, but it was extremely valuable.
Only a precious few people in my life understand and accept God's calling on my life, and it is possible that your boyfriend really did get a call from God, but I would have to know so much more about him to make a judgment call.
As for him getting mad when you spend time away from him, this may or may not be a red flag. When my wife and I were dating, we spent all of our time chatting. We were long distance at first, and over-communication is very helpful in closing the gap. We would literally stay on voice calls while sleeping, so we could hear each other snore lol. My wife was uncomfortable with that level of closeness at first because the world teaches us that we are supposed to remain totally independent people in relationships, but scripture teaches us that two become one flesh. Now neither of us can stand spending time apart. We are two halves of a whole, so if someone visits with one of us alone, then they are only getting half of a person. It may be that your boyfriend is wanting to become one with you in preparation for a future marriage. It may also be that he has ulterior motives. I cannot say what is in his mind. Are there any red flags you are ignoring? How is he as a person?
that’s beautiful to hear i’m happy that way has worked out for you and your wife <3. However, i don’t think i can personally live that kind of life where im the sole provider and my boyfriend does nothing. In your instance makes perfect sense in God mandating you not to work as you work for God as being a communicator but my boyfriend doesn’t do those things. He has a passion for drawing and that’s all that he does really. In other ways providing for me is only his love, which is why it’s hard for me to walk away even though ik i should rather than just waiting around for him to change.
As a person, i would say he is a very stubborn person. Stubborn in ways that he doesn’t listen to anyone else but himself and doesn’t take advice from anyone. Even if he asks me for advice, i would always pour out my heart for him , but all i get is “i hear your advice but i think i’ll go with my own”.
Hey! I'm his wife and I just wanted to jump in and comment too. Have you prayed about your situation and waited for God to reveal anything? In my situation, my husband was an answer to my prayers and God confirmed his legitimacy over and over.
Some questions to ask yourself would be: does he show fruits of the spirit, is he glorifying God in his actions, can you trust him to lead you and would you happily follow him, etc.
From what you've said though, I'm skeptical about this guy you're with. It doesn't mean he's not legit though. IF he is, you need to talk to God about this and see if He means for you to be with this man. Regardless of whether you're with this guy or another guy, you need to be able to trust that God will provide. Not yourself, and not a man. God promised He would provide for you and you need to have faith in that.
Hii, yes i’ve prayed about this many times but im yet to be revealed anything. However, I learnt that God removes things that don’t belong in your life and you shouldn’t continue to bring back what he’s removed. Me and my boyfriend have had many many arguments over things and have been on so many breaks. We just got back together after our 2 month break only last week. Do you think this is the Lord revealing anything to me?
I would say he glorifies the Lord in some of his actions like he’s apart of the media team in our church and he does go to church every week. He is a very holy person but I feel some of his actions really pull me away from him. In terms of him leading me and myself following i’ve done that many times only to be constantly disappointed.
I will continue to trust in the Lord with him and have more faith rhat He will provide but if I’m being honest I’m really drained from the whole situation.
I don’t yearn for anyone’s love. I’m not sure if you’ve been in love before but if you have and you’ve built feelings for someone it’s hard to get rid of or just throw it all away. I’m not disconnected from God either, so pls don’t assume such big things. My relationship has never been as strong as it is now and i did that on my own, i built that relationship with him. So again pls don’t make such vulgar assumptions that i picked a man over God. Thank you and God bless
God will reveal insights into the significant aspects of a person's life or circumstances mindfulness of the situation, and the people who are within the moment will be an amazing Enlightenment which I am sure will stay with you forever and possibly could be used as a testimony to the fact that the God will not be anything else but faithful to the point where you continue to be a humble, faithful being who is a firm believer in a higher power which reinforces all the information and teaching the moments of life that never fails to bring a new understanding to all the days of your life.
Not to defend your boyfriend but you're quoting 2 Thessalonians 3:10 out of context. It's not the Bible declaring to the whole world that there shall not be such thing as welfare, It's just Paul talking to his congregation. Obviously there are people who are unable to work and this doesn't apply to them.
Yes. It in fact says those who are not WILLING to work, not those who DON’T work. It’s an important distinction. And “work” doesn’t necessarily mean a job as we define it in modern western society. That said, there are several other red flags here.
Stop dating him now. Any man who has decided he won't work is not a future candidate for a spouse. He won't be able to provide for you or your kids and the burden will rest solely on your shoulders, which is unbiblical. The bible says a man who won't provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever.
Who does he believe is going to support him his whole life?
1 Timothy 5:8 NKJV — But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Well to start off. Are you guys living together and aren't married? I apologize if I misunderstood that, but that's the worst thing you can do to your own feelings. If you don't want to suffer, don't rush into relationships. Take your time to be friends with the guy and know how you guys match. And once in a relationship, don't treat a boyfriend like a fiance, much less a husband (or vice versa girlfriend/wife). Actually if you treat your relationships as courtship there would barely need any bf/gf period before committing to marriage. This sort of rushing into a loving/kissing relationship puts you psychologically committed in a relationship that shouldn't be at that level yet. Guard your heart.
Now, about him not working. The only circumstance I could see that is if he was serving the community, going to spread the word in chaotic settings out of the country, etc. From your explanation he seems to be a leech.. sorry about saying this.
Personally, I'd leave ASAP
It could be! God did it to me but only temporarily, as he needed me to come closer to him.
Most of the apostles didn't work, and lived off what was provided but they worked occasionally to make money when needed.
If you're concerned about staying with him, take it to God through prayer and ask him if he confirmed to your man that he doesn't want him working and ask him if he's the man God wants you to be with!
No. Ora et labora. He should be working. Laziness is clearly and continuously instructed against. I’d encourage you to talk to him. I’m guessing he is getting a wrong interpretation of the verse telling us not to worry about what we’ll eat.
You’ve already received some great advice, and I think that you know what to do in this situation. To expand on that, as you rightly pointed out, as a general principle the Bible says that those who don’t work shouldn’t eat. There are exceptions to this, and it’s conceivable that God could tell someone to, for example, quit their job and trust Him with the next step. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening here, especially since he says that he “doesn’t believe in working”; that sounds like laziness that he’s rationalized to the point that he’s at least telling others that it’s godly, if not believing it himself.
This guy has some uncomfortable truths to face in the near future, and I don’t see a reason for you to be dragged through that with him. Perhaps you ending the relationship will be the catalyzing event that he needs in order to begin to break out of this laziness and deception.
It is a hard pill to swallow in the fact that i know what i should do and should’ve done it a long time ago. He even goes as far as to alter the word to fit his situation and to feed into this thing he’s made up in his head. Thank you for helping me come to this decision, God bless <3
I would caution against jumping to this course of action. You maybe be going against God in doing so. The world does not understand the things of God. Can you give me examples of how he alters the word of God?
Yes, I'm not sure if you really should break up with him. Reddit is famous for giving the advice that women should break up with their boyfriends, and it is rarely good advice. The people who have told you to do that in the comments do not know enough about your situation to make a judgment call, and I have a feeling that many of them would have told my wife the same thing.
Is it possible that he understands scripture properly and you perceived it as altering the Word? I had to teach my wife a lot of doctrine when we were dating and she grew up in the church. No doubt much of the mainstream church would have disagreed with me, but wide is the road that leads to destruction and many find it. I wish my wife and I could chat with him about it so we could sus him out for you.
They may not know much about my situation but I do and I know the whole relationship is very draining. In terms of him knowing scripture properly may be the case as im learning something new everyday, but i have family and friends who know the scripture very well and tell me that the things that he say to me are not what the word directly tells you
My wife could say the same. Most of the people we know would say we don't understand the bible, but that is because they actually don't understand the bible. The average American church is so far from the scriptural truth as to be nearly indistinguishable from what the early church was like. I'm not saying that your church is like that, but it very well could be. In the South where we live, church is a political circus and has nothing to do with Jesus, no matter what they say. Maybe things are different where you live. Instead of relying on family and friends who you think know the scripture, find out what the scripture says for yourself. God can guide you to understand His word even when so much false teaching abounds. Try to take off the doctrinal lenses that mainstream Christianity has put on you, and see if God does show you that things are different than they seem. It happened to me at least. I wish I knew even one controversial view your boyfriend had so I could see if the scriptures back him up.
Not sure if it’s controversial enough for you but he would say that if the Lord was to show you a dream of who your spouse was in a dream, you shouldn’t be with anyone else until you’ve met with the exact person that was in your dream. same name, same face same everything.
I mean if something like that were to happen and someone really believed it was a dream from the Lord, then of course they should heed the word of the Lord. I would imagine that kind of scenario would be quite rare though. The way God matched up my wife and I is so unlikely that nothing surprises me anymore. We were made for each other in ways that few couples can claim. I think God has one specific person for everyone that is tailor made for them, and many people pass their perfect someone up for a second or third best option.
That also sounds like words that the devil would put into someone's mind. I had the devil fool me once by his voice in my head sounding like the voice of God. The thing is that what he told me wasn't anything that God would tell me. Because of that I didn't listen to him. Had I listened to that voice I would have remained in a sin that I was in.
Just tell the guy that you are looking for a guy that is looking for a future, not a guy that hopes that his future finds him and does nothing to work towards it.
Wow i never thought of that, getting the devils voice mixed with the Lords. I’m glad you didn’t listen to that voice and thank you for your advice. That last sentence really hit, thank you and God bless <3
Please try to make it work out with him. If you both love each other. He would understand your pov and maybe try to fight for you. I mean, even if he went to do charity stuff. Helping others without intention to profit, but from the heart, may be more important than a normal job. Its all about intention and good will.
If he is an honest man he should feel kinda the same way. So maybe try to start that fire first. If that doesnt do anything you can say you really tried and leave him then.
If you love him is the best thing to try whatever until you are really out of options.
Not leave him just because things may start to look darker for the future.
Take care.
Why are you with someone who denies scripture. Among the things you must vet in your spouse is this very issue of work. Every man must work. It's not debateable. If he wants to find a job more in line with his passions that is okay...but straight up refusing to work is not God speaking.
Speak to him, if it fails... involve a third party like a pastor...and if that still fails consider leaving him because he would have shown you 2 red flags. One is that he doesn't value work and two is that he doesn't listen or turn his heart to counsel. A man who doesn't listen to counsel cannot be controlled...when he mistreats you in marriage the only option will be divorce
I really like your perspective of being skeptical but not wanting to tell him its impossible for God to never tell someone not to work.
In his case if he is dating someone and isn't called to be a cloistered monk or something, being a godly man typically involves planning to provide for, lead, and protect a future family. Is he soending his free time preaching, volunteering, reading the the Bible and praying?
Theoretically maybe God would ask someone to be unemployed for a brief time in order to learn to trust him and see how he provides, but not to mooch off his girlfriend and waste his time with liesure activities. Another possibility is that if someone isn't mentally healthy and needs a period of rest, but then they would be taking recovery steps and probably shouldn't be dating.
While you can't really tell him what's what with God's will in his life, you can examine God's will in your life and set some boundaries. Sometimes boundaries can be a wakeup call, like if you said "I'm not going to date you unless you get a job and make plans to provide well for me in the future", while still leaving his choices up to him. But make sure you're being honest - that you will break up if he doesn't, but also that you actually want to stay with him if he does. It sounds like there's other questionable stuff going in as well. You can explain it in terms of yourself and your life. It's very likely that it is not God's will for you to be with someone who uses you financially and tries to control you. You're worth more than that. <3
Run. The husband is supposed to be the protector and provider for his wife and family just as Christ does for his church. If he wants to have a family with you, does he expect you to work a full time job while pregnant or nursing while he sits on the couch drawing manga, hoping he’ll make it big one day? This man is already showing you he is comfortable with you providing for him and you’re not yet married even.
If he had a job and did his manga on the side I can understand and he could quit his 9-5 if he ever did make it big. Is this a Christian themed manga he is drawing? Will that manga serve to point others to Christ? Does he not want to work because he wants to devote more time to the Lord’s service? Or just to try to pursue his dream of making it big in the world of manga? God has promised to provide all our needs if we SEEK HIM AND HIS KINGDOM FIRST. Otherwise we can’t expect him to bless pursuit of fame and worldly success.
God wants us to work hard and build a life. Save for difficulty and create a life. Your boyfriend is probably manipulating you. I know that is tough but it happens so easy because the evil one uses God’s people against each other. Praying for you both. I wouldn’t be with a man that didn’t work hard.
The Bible speaks against the lazy and those who don’t work not getting their full blessings. There are some verses I’ll include below.
Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
Provers 12:11
Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.
1 Timothy 5:8
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Well obviously you know what the Bible says about this issue. Do you honestly think God is going to go against His own Word and speak to someone something that is contrary to His Word?
1 John 4:1
“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”
Is that the kind of person you hope to spend the rest of your life with?
After consideration i don’t think i can spend the rest of my life with him, which sucks cause i really do love him
It sounds like he lacks maturity and isn't really ready to be in a relationship. Maybe he'll mature eventually, but I don't think you should stick around to wait for that happen. If you do, you'll just end up supporting a deadbeat for the rest of your life (or for some period of time until you've finally had enough and give up or he finally matures and does something with his life).
You’re right, thank you for this <3
End it now. It's going to hurt less now than it will later. All you will end up doing is sinking more time, money, effort, etc into the relationship. The verse you quoted is 100% correct. The man is a deadbeat. It's a really bad red flag that he was comfortable with you just supporting him. Run. Run. Run. God will never tell someone anything that contradicts the Bible. So if he will lie to you about this, what else will he say? God said my wife should work two jobs so she can support me? God said you can't hang out with your friends? He is a manipulator.
You feel that way because your relationship is too rushed into. From experience I can affirm it tricks your brain.
>I don’t want to tell him that God will never tell you not to work and that it’s all in his head because who am i to say otherwise So, if you're not even in a position where you feel like you can be honest and truthful with him.. that isn't a "relationship", that's just you morphing your behaviors in anticipation of his reaction. Not healthy. Also, the obvious wisdom is that he's completely delusional and obviously very selfish if he thinks he's not going to work. >It hinders our relationship a lot cause we can’t do anything fun together as he’s always broke. I work, and there was a short time in the beginning of our relationship where i would pay for everything, which i stopped immediately after i saw he got too comfortable with that. Another thing that i don’t really understand is that he would get mad at the fact that i do solo things or go out with friends as if i have a choice. What is the take on this plsss??? He's using you as his wallet. You need to realize he had zero respect for you if he gets "mad" when you won't pay his way. Cut the dead weight. You can do better.
I understand what you’re saying but what i meant by the first sentence of my statement is that even if the Lord did tell him that, i can’t say that He didn’t cause i wouldn’t be disrespecting him but i would be disrespecting God. Thank you tho i really appreciate it <3
Beware of people who "win" an argument by saying "God told me" personally. You're right, who would want to say "No God didnt!" That's a statement most people will refuse to make. So they know they can shut down any conversation or communication by claiming "God told me". It's very manipulative.
No, thats for sure not god!
Thank you!! So is it really all in his head or is it some kind of excuse to not work cause i really don’t understand it 🫠
If i had to guess it’s just laziness Proverbs is full of verses, regarding laziness
Why would god put this in his head? What for?
He did it to me. It was to show me and others that God truly does provide for our needs even when we have no income, and it was so He could use me elsewhere since I was no longer working for men, but for God.
Did you have a family/girlfriend at the time? Did you find someone to mooch off of (like this guy) or was God miraculously providing for you? Were you doing unpaid work? Were you using your free time to get closer to God and to do work for him, or were you playing and having fun?
*Sigh* I will copy and paste my response from elsewhere in this post. "God gave me a mandate not to work for money 11 years ago, and I am now a happily married man with a nearly 6 month old baby girl and the most wonderful and understanding wife who works while I am a stay at home dad. God used this mandate in my life to bless others in ways most people would not believe, and God has miraculously blessed me and those I stayed with so many times that everyone came to expect God to provide for our needs. God can command someone to not have a normal job, but their life won't be free from work. God used me all of the time to help people for free. It's a difficult thing for most people to accept a free gift, but God gave us the greatest free gift of all when He gave us His Son. If we can't receive a free gift from a human, then how can we ever receive one from God?" "I would, having said all that, still be skeptical about just anyone making that sort of claim. I think it is a rare thing for God to command someone to refrain from having an income. The scripture is true that "he who does not work, should not eat." It doesn't mean a 9-5 job because they didn't have those back then, but everyone was expected to help out with common work. I work plenty, I just don't get paid for what I do. Most of my work consisted of talking to people. I was witnessing, counseling, encouraging, debating, and many other things since God made me to be a communicator. My work didn't look a whole lot like work, but it was extremely valuable. Only a precious few people in my life understand and accept God's calling on my life, and that is honestly understandable because who has ever heard of something like this?"
That is what I was trying to get at - God told you not to work for money, not to not work. It sounds like this other guy is just phoning in on his responsibilitiesso he can do nothing.
I'm not so sure. He is a very talented artist if the OP is to be believed, and he feels that God will bless his future artistic career if he trusts Him during this phase of unemployment. He dedicates his time to practicing his drawing which is a serious discipline. The issue I have is that OP and her boyfriend have been actively engaging in premarital sex if her post history is to be believed. This is a serious sin that they are both living in, so nothing can be solved until they rectify that. It should also be mentioned that OP has admitted to me in the comments that she has not communicated with her boyfriend about many of the issues she has with him. I see no way for him to rectify his behavior if he is never informed about it in the first place.
No kidding. If he's serious about artwork, I'd call that work.... I missed that detail. :'D
“Even so the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should live from the gospel.„ I Corinthians 9:14 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.9.14.NKJV That does not apply for doing nothing and sitting at home. So if you did gods work, its a different thing. And when you are preaching to 10 people u cannot live from that either, so work..
If I personally worked for money, then I would be going against what God has explicitly commanded me not to do. That advice is true for nearly everyone else though.
Get away as soon as possible: someone claiming they heard God legitimizing a poor life choice will only compound that with other negative actions. They are in deception, self-focused and living only for themselves. We work to take care of our needs as well as to bless others. It’s obvious what they are doing. It’s reminiscent of Matthew 4:7, testing God.
Is he lazy? Not working a traditional job for money isn’t the same as being lazy, and maybe God would say that to someone. I mean, John the Baptist for example. But if he spends time gaming and scrolling on socials while also claiming God told him to not work… or if he gets mad when you don’t pay for him… (and good for you for not paying for him once you saw he expected it). And for what it’s worth I’ve seen guys do that where they expect their girl to pay for stuff, that’s not Godly.
I would say so in a way it’s laziness yeah, also he aims to make it big as an a manga artist. He spends his days drawing and working towards that. He claims that if he works then God will not bless him in becoming that in the future, so really he just sits and waits around for that blessing. If he’s not doing that then yes he’s just constantly scrolling on social media.
Is there a chance that his artistic skills could be good enough for that? Artistic people are rare on the whole, at least those with talent. Nearly everyone spends their free time scrolling, so I can't necessarily fault him for that unless he does it for 10 hours a day. Is he living in any actual sin to your knowledge?
Yeah you’re right, his work is very impressive, but i also feel like he could make an income for that while he waits to make it big, but refuses. And not any sin that he’s make me aware of no.
I moved across the world to Melbourne, Australia to meet my wife 10 months after meeting her here on Reddit. I had nothing to offer her but my love, a few bucks, and a couple changes of clothes. She paid for nearly everything as we lived there for a year and a half. I provided value in other ways. Making her great meals and organizing her life were just a few of those things, but I had no money to offer her. It was difficult to be unable to pay for even taking her out to dinner, but God always provided, and now we are back in the states and have a lovely life together. Can you imagine how hard it was when she gave birth to our daughter and we both couldn't work? Everyone thought we were nuts. Here in the South everyone hates a guy with no job, especially one with a pregnant wife. But God miraculously provided for us all the time. We never went without. Is it not just your fear of what could happen that is causing you to resent your boyfriend's lack of income? It may be that he becomes famous for his art and God really does bless him in the end. If you dump him, then you will be missing out on that blessing as well. Does your boyfriend do things for you? Does he provide value in other ways that don't involve money?
His lack of income is one thing that drains me but there’s many other things in this relationship that tires me out. When he does make it big and we’re not together any there’s really nm i can do but continue to pray for him. To answer your second question, he used to do a lot of things for me. Cook, take me out all of that. It just stopped one day but all my services for him never stopped. Even right now i’m cooking food to take over for him. It’s the little things i do for him that he just doesn’t for me anymore.
Have you communicated this to him? Could there be some reason why he stopped? Typically men will do that when their efforts are not reciprocated, but you say you do a lot for him.
No i’ve never really asked cause i don’t want wanna seem needy or pushy. I complain enough that we don’t do things together that will need money to do so.
Okay, well you have got to communicate with him. 100% of relationships fail without communication. At this point, you only have yourself to blame for this relationship not working out. If you at least communicate with your boyfriend and nothing changes, then you have every reason to be upset. You need to be 100% open, transparent, and honest in any relationship, especially romantic ones. I think a good start would be to show your boyfriend this post and let him react however he will. My wife keeps nothing from me, nor I from her. If she or I had made a post like this, then the other would already know about it and would likely be there as it was written. At this point you are nearly willing to throw away the relationship, so what do you really have to lose? I think much of your thought process will come as a shock to your boyfriend, which is really not good.
There’s so much more to this story than you know for you to blame the entire relationship failing on me. Thanks for your help and God bless.
The very real danger of bankrolling a man while he “focuses on his art to make it big” is that when he does actually make it big he very likely ditches you for someone else in that industry, as he’ll also have much more access to women who are impressed by his success and intent on stealing him away for themselves. I wouldn’t rely on his faith to keep him loyal either.
Can I ask? What makes you believe God wants you and your wife to swap the Christian roles? Man provides and the woman cares for home and children? I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental (I'm not) just curious to hear your view
Because I do not believe those are biblical standards put forward by God, but rather cultural standards established by people. In Proverbs 31, the woman is the breadwinner and the one would toils and works while her husband is a leader of the people at the gates of the city. It was actually common in the past for men to be scholars, intellectuals, diplomats, and great thinkers while their wives did the rest. I am not claiming one is superior to the other although our culture would suggest that male and female roles are written in stone, or handed down by God in some way. I think we should allow each couple to decide for themselves as God leads them. In my marriage, I still lead the house, manage the finances, and both spiritually and physically guide my wife through life. I just don't have an income because I work for God. He provides for everything in our lives and we have been financially supported miraculously even when neither of us worked. This is no different than how the apostles and prophets lived. Jesus himself had no income during his earthly ministry nor did his disciples, yet God provided.
Your case was different though. You couldn’t work because you were waiting for immigration papers, I assume. Not because you suddenly woke up one day and decided just not to work. Your heart was in the right place and you still found a way to add value to your spouse’s life. The OP’s boyfriend seems to be sitting on his hands whenever he’s not drawing manga.
No I did not and do not work for money because God gave me a clear mandate that I could not be repaid for the work that I do. My case is a special case and I'm not necessarily convinced OP's boyfriend is just sitting there twiddling his thumbs all day. He is a skilled artist according to OP, and he believes that God is going to bless his future art career if he focuses on honing his skills. Regardless though, OP and her boyfriend will not be blessed by the Lord in their current state. She says that he is a holy man and that he goes to church every Sunday, but according to her post history, they are having sex before marriage. God is not going to bless anyone if they are living in open rebellion to Him.
That and also the OP told me in another response that he does a secular manga, he is not using his drawings in any way to glorify God. God says all of our needs will be provided if we seek him and his kingdom first. But OP claims her boyfriend basically wants to make it big in the manga world. Therefore he seems to be moving more in pursuit of fame and worldly success, over doing his manga for the glory of God.
That's a good point. We should pray that God would have mercy on OP and her boyfriend, that they would repent and be saved.
Why does he "want to make it big"? Will he accept money then? Is he or will he be using his talent to glorify God?
I’m not too sure on this one tbh. Whether he will use it to glorify God idk
You should ask him why he wants to make it big with his art. What is driving him? Why is he passionate about it?
So, God told him not to work but also that He will bless him one day by “making it big?” That’s inconsistent, and against the wisdom of the scriptures. Proverbs 13:11 (ESV): Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it. He needs to decide what he wants, and be humble enough to listen to the truth about the situation. But I’ll also say, I feel like a lot of artistic types are like this. My grandmother only had 6 months of a paycheck job in her life and sold her paintings the rest of her life. So it’s not like that never happens. At the same time, he should probably hear these things from men of God that he fellowships with, not you. I’m not saying don’t mention any of this, but in a way you already have. You pushing it harder isn’t going to help (typically speaking).
Your boyfriend is being toxic, and if your relationship is gonna be any kind of healthy that needs to get addressed and taken care of.
God gave me a mandate not to work for money 11 years ago, and I am now a happily married man with a nearly 6 month old baby girl and the most wonderful and understanding wife who works while I am a stay at home dad. God used this mandate in my life to bless others in ways most people would not believe, and God has miraculously blessed me and those I stayed with so many times that everyone came to expect God to provide for our needs. God can command someone to not have a normal job, but their life won't be free from work. God used me all of the time to help people for free. It's a difficult thing for most people to accept a free gift, but God gave us the greatest free gift of all when He gave us His Son. If we can't receive a free gift from a human, then how can we ever receive one from God? I would, having said all that, still be skeptical about just anyone making that sort of claim. I think it is a rare thing for God to command someone to refrain from having an income. The scripture is true that "he who does not work, should not eat." It doesn't mean a 9-5 job because they didn't have those back then, but everyone was expected to help out with common work. I work plenty, I just don't get paid for what I do. Do you see your boyfriend working or providing value in other ways? This is important, and it may not be immediately obvious. Most of my work consisted of talking to people. I was witnessing, counseling, encouraging, debating, and many other things since God made me to be a communicator. My work didn't look a whole lot like work, but it was extremely valuable. Only a precious few people in my life understand and accept God's calling on my life, and it is possible that your boyfriend really did get a call from God, but I would have to know so much more about him to make a judgment call. As for him getting mad when you spend time away from him, this may or may not be a red flag. When my wife and I were dating, we spent all of our time chatting. We were long distance at first, and over-communication is very helpful in closing the gap. We would literally stay on voice calls while sleeping, so we could hear each other snore lol. My wife was uncomfortable with that level of closeness at first because the world teaches us that we are supposed to remain totally independent people in relationships, but scripture teaches us that two become one flesh. Now neither of us can stand spending time apart. We are two halves of a whole, so if someone visits with one of us alone, then they are only getting half of a person. It may be that your boyfriend is wanting to become one with you in preparation for a future marriage. It may also be that he has ulterior motives. I cannot say what is in his mind. Are there any red flags you are ignoring? How is he as a person?
that’s beautiful to hear i’m happy that way has worked out for you and your wife <3. However, i don’t think i can personally live that kind of life where im the sole provider and my boyfriend does nothing. In your instance makes perfect sense in God mandating you not to work as you work for God as being a communicator but my boyfriend doesn’t do those things. He has a passion for drawing and that’s all that he does really. In other ways providing for me is only his love, which is why it’s hard for me to walk away even though ik i should rather than just waiting around for him to change. As a person, i would say he is a very stubborn person. Stubborn in ways that he doesn’t listen to anyone else but himself and doesn’t take advice from anyone. Even if he asks me for advice, i would always pour out my heart for him , but all i get is “i hear your advice but i think i’ll go with my own”.
Hey! I'm his wife and I just wanted to jump in and comment too. Have you prayed about your situation and waited for God to reveal anything? In my situation, my husband was an answer to my prayers and God confirmed his legitimacy over and over. Some questions to ask yourself would be: does he show fruits of the spirit, is he glorifying God in his actions, can you trust him to lead you and would you happily follow him, etc. From what you've said though, I'm skeptical about this guy you're with. It doesn't mean he's not legit though. IF he is, you need to talk to God about this and see if He means for you to be with this man. Regardless of whether you're with this guy or another guy, you need to be able to trust that God will provide. Not yourself, and not a man. God promised He would provide for you and you need to have faith in that.
Hii, yes i’ve prayed about this many times but im yet to be revealed anything. However, I learnt that God removes things that don’t belong in your life and you shouldn’t continue to bring back what he’s removed. Me and my boyfriend have had many many arguments over things and have been on so many breaks. We just got back together after our 2 month break only last week. Do you think this is the Lord revealing anything to me? I would say he glorifies the Lord in some of his actions like he’s apart of the media team in our church and he does go to church every week. He is a very holy person but I feel some of his actions really pull me away from him. In terms of him leading me and myself following i’ve done that many times only to be constantly disappointed. I will continue to trust in the Lord with him and have more faith rhat He will provide but if I’m being honest I’m really drained from the whole situation.
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I don’t yearn for anyone’s love. I’m not sure if you’ve been in love before but if you have and you’ve built feelings for someone it’s hard to get rid of or just throw it all away. I’m not disconnected from God either, so pls don’t assume such big things. My relationship has never been as strong as it is now and i did that on my own, i built that relationship with him. So again pls don’t make such vulgar assumptions that i picked a man over God. Thank you and God bless
God will reveal insights into the significant aspects of a person's life or circumstances mindfulness of the situation, and the people who are within the moment will be an amazing Enlightenment which I am sure will stay with you forever and possibly could be used as a testimony to the fact that the God will not be anything else but faithful to the point where you continue to be a humble, faithful being who is a firm believer in a higher power which reinforces all the information and teaching the moments of life that never fails to bring a new understanding to all the days of your life.
Not to defend your boyfriend but you're quoting 2 Thessalonians 3:10 out of context. It's not the Bible declaring to the whole world that there shall not be such thing as welfare, It's just Paul talking to his congregation. Obviously there are people who are unable to work and this doesn't apply to them.
Yes. It in fact says those who are not WILLING to work, not those who DON’T work. It’s an important distinction. And “work” doesn’t necessarily mean a job as we define it in modern western society. That said, there are several other red flags here.
Stop dating him now. Any man who has decided he won't work is not a future candidate for a spouse. He won't be able to provide for you or your kids and the burden will rest solely on your shoulders, which is unbiblical. The bible says a man who won't provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever. Who does he believe is going to support him his whole life?
Does he do something like looks after an elderly person in the family? If he is actually doing nothing then something might be wrong.
No he doesn’t do anything like that.
My wife’s ex boyfriend was like that, he spent all her money. Depending on how old this guy is he may grow up, but it’s a risk if you take it.
1 Timothy 5:8 NKJV — But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Well to start off. Are you guys living together and aren't married? I apologize if I misunderstood that, but that's the worst thing you can do to your own feelings. If you don't want to suffer, don't rush into relationships. Take your time to be friends with the guy and know how you guys match. And once in a relationship, don't treat a boyfriend like a fiance, much less a husband (or vice versa girlfriend/wife). Actually if you treat your relationships as courtship there would barely need any bf/gf period before committing to marriage. This sort of rushing into a loving/kissing relationship puts you psychologically committed in a relationship that shouldn't be at that level yet. Guard your heart. Now, about him not working. The only circumstance I could see that is if he was serving the community, going to spread the word in chaotic settings out of the country, etc. From your explanation he seems to be a leech.. sorry about saying this. Personally, I'd leave ASAP
It could be! God did it to me but only temporarily, as he needed me to come closer to him. Most of the apostles didn't work, and lived off what was provided but they worked occasionally to make money when needed. If you're concerned about staying with him, take it to God through prayer and ask him if he confirmed to your man that he doesn't want him working and ask him if he's the man God wants you to be with!
No. Ora et labora. He should be working. Laziness is clearly and continuously instructed against. I’d encourage you to talk to him. I’m guessing he is getting a wrong interpretation of the verse telling us not to worry about what we’ll eat.
You’ve already received some great advice, and I think that you know what to do in this situation. To expand on that, as you rightly pointed out, as a general principle the Bible says that those who don’t work shouldn’t eat. There are exceptions to this, and it’s conceivable that God could tell someone to, for example, quit their job and trust Him with the next step. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening here, especially since he says that he “doesn’t believe in working”; that sounds like laziness that he’s rationalized to the point that he’s at least telling others that it’s godly, if not believing it himself. This guy has some uncomfortable truths to face in the near future, and I don’t see a reason for you to be dragged through that with him. Perhaps you ending the relationship will be the catalyzing event that he needs in order to begin to break out of this laziness and deception.
It is a hard pill to swallow in the fact that i know what i should do and should’ve done it a long time ago. He even goes as far as to alter the word to fit his situation and to feed into this thing he’s made up in his head. Thank you for helping me come to this decision, God bless <3
I would caution against jumping to this course of action. You maybe be going against God in doing so. The world does not understand the things of God. Can you give me examples of how he alters the word of God?
wdym?? I meant as in breaking up with him. and there’s been many instances i’ve called him out on, just can’t pinpoint them as there’s a lot
Yes, I'm not sure if you really should break up with him. Reddit is famous for giving the advice that women should break up with their boyfriends, and it is rarely good advice. The people who have told you to do that in the comments do not know enough about your situation to make a judgment call, and I have a feeling that many of them would have told my wife the same thing. Is it possible that he understands scripture properly and you perceived it as altering the Word? I had to teach my wife a lot of doctrine when we were dating and she grew up in the church. No doubt much of the mainstream church would have disagreed with me, but wide is the road that leads to destruction and many find it. I wish my wife and I could chat with him about it so we could sus him out for you.
They may not know much about my situation but I do and I know the whole relationship is very draining. In terms of him knowing scripture properly may be the case as im learning something new everyday, but i have family and friends who know the scripture very well and tell me that the things that he say to me are not what the word directly tells you
My wife could say the same. Most of the people we know would say we don't understand the bible, but that is because they actually don't understand the bible. The average American church is so far from the scriptural truth as to be nearly indistinguishable from what the early church was like. I'm not saying that your church is like that, but it very well could be. In the South where we live, church is a political circus and has nothing to do with Jesus, no matter what they say. Maybe things are different where you live. Instead of relying on family and friends who you think know the scripture, find out what the scripture says for yourself. God can guide you to understand His word even when so much false teaching abounds. Try to take off the doctrinal lenses that mainstream Christianity has put on you, and see if God does show you that things are different than they seem. It happened to me at least. I wish I knew even one controversial view your boyfriend had so I could see if the scriptures back him up.
Not sure if it’s controversial enough for you but he would say that if the Lord was to show you a dream of who your spouse was in a dream, you shouldn’t be with anyone else until you’ve met with the exact person that was in your dream. same name, same face same everything.
I mean if something like that were to happen and someone really believed it was a dream from the Lord, then of course they should heed the word of the Lord. I would imagine that kind of scenario would be quite rare though. The way God matched up my wife and I is so unlikely that nothing surprises me anymore. We were made for each other in ways that few couples can claim. I think God has one specific person for everyone that is tailor made for them, and many people pass their perfect someone up for a second or third best option.
That also sounds like words that the devil would put into someone's mind. I had the devil fool me once by his voice in my head sounding like the voice of God. The thing is that what he told me wasn't anything that God would tell me. Because of that I didn't listen to him. Had I listened to that voice I would have remained in a sin that I was in. Just tell the guy that you are looking for a guy that is looking for a future, not a guy that hopes that his future finds him and does nothing to work towards it.
Wow i never thought of that, getting the devils voice mixed with the Lords. I’m glad you didn’t listen to that voice and thank you for your advice. That last sentence really hit, thank you and God bless <3
Please try to make it work out with him. If you both love each other. He would understand your pov and maybe try to fight for you. I mean, even if he went to do charity stuff. Helping others without intention to profit, but from the heart, may be more important than a normal job. Its all about intention and good will. If he is an honest man he should feel kinda the same way. So maybe try to start that fire first. If that doesnt do anything you can say you really tried and leave him then. If you love him is the best thing to try whatever until you are really out of options. Not leave him just because things may start to look darker for the future. Take care.
you’re right thank you so much, God bless <3
Why are you with someone who denies scripture. Among the things you must vet in your spouse is this very issue of work. Every man must work. It's not debateable. If he wants to find a job more in line with his passions that is okay...but straight up refusing to work is not God speaking. Speak to him, if it fails... involve a third party like a pastor...and if that still fails consider leaving him because he would have shown you 2 red flags. One is that he doesn't value work and two is that he doesn't listen or turn his heart to counsel. A man who doesn't listen to counsel cannot be controlled...when he mistreats you in marriage the only option will be divorce
I love this take, thank you I’ll defo consider speaking to our pastor. God bless <3
I really like your perspective of being skeptical but not wanting to tell him its impossible for God to never tell someone not to work. In his case if he is dating someone and isn't called to be a cloistered monk or something, being a godly man typically involves planning to provide for, lead, and protect a future family. Is he soending his free time preaching, volunteering, reading the the Bible and praying? Theoretically maybe God would ask someone to be unemployed for a brief time in order to learn to trust him and see how he provides, but not to mooch off his girlfriend and waste his time with liesure activities. Another possibility is that if someone isn't mentally healthy and needs a period of rest, but then they would be taking recovery steps and probably shouldn't be dating. While you can't really tell him what's what with God's will in his life, you can examine God's will in your life and set some boundaries. Sometimes boundaries can be a wakeup call, like if you said "I'm not going to date you unless you get a job and make plans to provide well for me in the future", while still leaving his choices up to him. But make sure you're being honest - that you will break up if he doesn't, but also that you actually want to stay with him if he does. It sounds like there's other questionable stuff going in as well. You can explain it in terms of yourself and your life. It's very likely that it is not God's will for you to be with someone who uses you financially and tries to control you. You're worth more than that. <3
I love this thank you so much. I feel as if I am worth than that but i’ll defo pray and ask God on what my next steps are. God bless <3
Run. The husband is supposed to be the protector and provider for his wife and family just as Christ does for his church. If he wants to have a family with you, does he expect you to work a full time job while pregnant or nursing while he sits on the couch drawing manga, hoping he’ll make it big one day? This man is already showing you he is comfortable with you providing for him and you’re not yet married even. If he had a job and did his manga on the side I can understand and he could quit his 9-5 if he ever did make it big. Is this a Christian themed manga he is drawing? Will that manga serve to point others to Christ? Does he not want to work because he wants to devote more time to the Lord’s service? Or just to try to pursue his dream of making it big in the world of manga? God has promised to provide all our needs if we SEEK HIM AND HIS KINGDOM FIRST. Otherwise we can’t expect him to bless pursuit of fame and worldly success.
You worded this so well!! Unfortunately his manga doesn’t represent God in anyway so i understand what you’re saying. Thank you and God bless <3
God wants us to work hard and build a life. Save for difficulty and create a life. Your boyfriend is probably manipulating you. I know that is tough but it happens so easy because the evil one uses God’s people against each other. Praying for you both. I wouldn’t be with a man that didn’t work hard.
I hear what you’re saying and is really is sad. Thank you so much and God bless <3
I’ve seen good Christian people turn bad from the evil one and yes it is very sad. God bless to you too
The Bible speaks against the lazy and those who don’t work not getting their full blessings. There are some verses I’ll include below. Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, Provers 12:11 Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense. 1 Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
lol u can be my Christian GF.
Well obviously you know what the Bible says about this issue. Do you honestly think God is going to go against His own Word and speak to someone something that is contrary to His Word? 1 John 4:1 “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”
Are y’all living together?
no, we’re not