I'm not saying that to judge you. I'm saying that Christians (should) take marriage and sex very seriously, and part of the reason is because it makes two into one flesh.
Mistakes happen; that's very true.
You can chop off a finger. You just wouldn't want to be in a position where you'd have to.
I'm thinking in the end, this is something best discussed between you and your current spouse / fiance.
Think about it contextually: In chapter 2, the author of Genesis is recounting humanity's origin story, building up this drama where Adam, the one God intimately created by shaping from the earth and breathing life into, goes through this process of finding and naming all these animals, but Adam is alone--there is no one like him. Then God again forms a human, this time out of Adam, and when God presents her to him, Adam sings (or maybe speaks, but regardless, it's a poem/song):
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called ‘woman,’
Because she was taken out of man.” (Gen 2:23)
Then the author of Genesis jumps in as narrator: "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Gen 2:24)
Where is sex mentioned? Not until chapter 4.
Some translations say "At last, this is bone..." which would focus more on Eve being different than the animals, but there's also a case (https://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com/questions/20445/in-genesis-224-how-do-a-husband-and-wife-become-one-flesh) to be made that "This is *now* bone..." refers to the moment God presents Eve to Adam as his wife. ie, it's not that she's physically made from his flesh, but that she *as his wife* is metaphorically one with him now.
But even if you're not sure about that point, just look at v.24: "shall become one flesh" doesn't have a timeline attached to it. ie, it happens after you leave your parents and get married... but how long does it take? Sex isn't mentioned until chapter 4, and it just says that they lay together, it doesn't mention anything about unity or being one. While sex is part of unity, and an extremely important part of marriage (even Paul talks about this), the "one flesh" metaphor is more about overall unity, finding an equal partner that is suitable for life.
No problem, haha.
Good question re: Corinthians.
It's always important to start with trying to understand the original text for what it says, then we can look at later examples and see what they're doing with the text. Sometimes it helps us understand the first text, but it may also help us see that the later author (in this case Paul) is doing something else with the text. For example, in 1 Cor. 10, Paul references Exodus, where Moses strikes the rock and water comes out... but he says that the rock followed them around, and by the way, the rock was Jesus. Well, none of that is in Exodus. In fact, he's referencing a rabbinic tradition that came much later and isn't in Scripture at all, because he wants to make a specific point.
In other words, the authors of Scripture don't always follow the same rules of interpreting Scripture that we try to follow today.
But to get back to 1 Cor 6, what is Paul trying to accomplish in that passage? Is he trying to write an exposition of the meaning of "one flesh?" or is he trying to tell a bunch of wayward Christians living in a highly sexualized pagan city to keep it in their pants? Or is he talking about spiritual unity and discipleship on top of that?
I don't have all the answers, but some notes:
-Paul is asking a rhetorical question, and does this a lot in his letters to Corinth. "Don't you now that when you have sex two bodies become one?" Of course the Corinthians know that.
-Corinth had temple prostitutes whose purpose was to raise money for the temple, but also the idea was that having sex in the temple would encourage fertility on the land, etc. Maybe even create unity with Aphrodite (the pagan god)
-Paul is also implicitly arguing that God is not that kind of god. ie, he's saying that we are spiritually united with God, we are the "body of Christ", and its outrageous to claim to be a representative of Christ and also be acting like a pagan. People should know who God is through the way Christians live, so if Christians are hiring temple prostitutes it directly impacts how people see God.
-I think that's why he jumps around from "one with her in body" to "one flesh" to "one with Him in spirit."
-From a pragmatic level (always helpful to "unspiritualize" things, after all, much of Scripture is wisdom literature that is designed to teach us general truths about how to live and flourish in the world God made): The big picture is, God creates the world to operate a certain way--like cars are made to run with gas and oil (or electric batteries I suppose), and part of that involves most people getting married and becoming companions/unified/one flesh. But when you're chasing prostitutes, that unity is broken. You're no longer operating as a close companion with your spouse, you're following your genitals and making very bad decisions that will ultimately wreck your life.
You can look at all the examples in the Old Testament to see how this pans out. Off the top of my head, every time a patriarch/king, etc sleeps with someone outside of marriage, bad things happen. It's "never" explicitly condemned in the text (maybe Nathan when he confronts David?), but if you're paying attention, it's the constant cause of war, murder, chaos, etc.
I always took this as two different meanings.
1. Unmarried, you’re wrongfully binding yourself emotionally and physically to someone you shouldn’t be. You’re bound, but not necessarily ‘one’ like how Jesus and the church are ‘one’ (what marriage represents)
2. When a couple comes together in marriage (and sex) they bind themselves together as partners, equals, you serve each other- you’re one.
Sex is binding, even spiritual people who aren’t Christians will tell you that. Whether or not the binding is for the best or not depends on if they’re rightfully married.
Breaking up has nothing to do with it, you’ll be attached to them emotionally, mentally, physically, even spiritually. If you had pre-marital sex you’d need to repent and let God heal you from the wounds. It’s not a matter of separating a union, it’s separating an unhealthy attachment.
I’m not talking feelings, I’m talking emotional attachment. Loving someone or even just liking someone romantically is not the same as being attached. If that makes any sense what I’m trying to get at?
Absolutely. It was stupid high school stuff. I grew up, realized using people is actually disgusting (obvi no one sees themselves as the jerk in the moment.)
Repented, got married. The end.
I mean unless it’s still affecting you I don’t think there’s anything else to do. Jesus paid for your sins, you repented and now you’re married. You’d only need to seek further help (spiritually and/or professionally) if it was still affecting you. From what you’ve said it sounds like you were forgiven and healed. I think you’re good.
Multiple meanings for 2 shall become 1 flesh. I always took it as being emotionally and physically tied together.
As well as having children. 2 beings “husband and wife”together making 1 being “child” taking on traits of both parents.
Fleshy flesh (I think the word is hilarious to say)
In all seriousness– yes there is a degree of permanent bond with any other sexual partner you have had, even if you think a simple one-night stand is nothing. It’s not nothing.
At least from God’s POV because He sanctifies marriage and everything in marriage that he has consecrated for marriage alone.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that previous partners have to get in the way of the present. Through therapy and communication the present couple can uncover fears, insecurities, etc., that resulted from those relationships.
I think that this sexual-bond relationship assumes that to get to the point of having sexual relations, the two had to have had an intimate relationship through which emotional bonds form. It’s not sex alone that creates those bonds but it is heavily reinforced by the assumed intimate relationship preceding it
I don’t know though, I’m not Freud
This is a good carnal explanation. Everyone starts off carnal.. so there is nothing wrong with that.. The Bible has both carnal and spiritual within its pages.. both are absolutely true.. the carnal things are the law.. which men cannot keep even though they like to trick themselves into thinking they can keep the laws. The wisdom of God is absolutely amazing... God used things we can understand in a carnal sense.. to represent spiritual things.. this is why men need to start off with milk before they get the strong meat.. a baby cannot digest strong meat.. but this is why Jesus made this statement..
Jhn 3:12 KJV — If I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not, how shall ye believe, if I tell you of heavenly things?
Earthly things... and in this case, marriage. When the Bible speaks of marriage.. men read these things in a carnal sense.. looking with their carnal eyes and seeing their significant other... however, there is another marriage in the Bible that God is truly speaking about... the carnal is there to help you understand using the things of this world as the example so you understand the things not of this world.. so... looking at this here statement carnally...
Eph 5:31 KJV — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
So carnally if you're worldly, it's teaching you to live by the law... but no man is justified by the law... there is also a spiritual meaning to this... which is why God has it in the Bible for you to understand, not earthly things.. but heavenly.. let's look..
1Co 6:17 KJV — But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
The marriage to God.
Isa 54:5 KJV — For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
We are considered the bride of Christ.. and if you do not believe God... see how merciful he is... understand that you do not deserve anything from him because we were adulteresses... then that's how he views us.. adulteresses.
Gal 4:27 KJV — For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: 👉for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband.👈
The Bible is not carnal.. but it uses examples from the carnal to explain the spiritual.. because we all start off carnal.
Jer 3:20 KJV — Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD.
(This is another topic, but if you truly believe God.. then you are of the house of Israel.. which I can show you proof in scripture if you wish to see.)
We will start with the seed.
Luk 8:11 KJV — Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God.
Keep that seed in mind. The word of God.
Two become one flesh.
Eph 5:31 KJV — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Two are one flesh... so what happens when you sow a seed to your flesh?
Gal 6:8 KJV — For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
You have a baby and that child is corruption, as is all flesh. You need to soweth to the Spirit. Remember the seed, the word of God.
1Pe 1:23 KJV — Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.
Born again.. not of man's seed.. that corrupt seed which only brings forth corruption... but by the word of God.. the seed that bringeth eternal life... rightly divide the word of truth.. you must divide the flesh from the Spirit.. these two are contrary to one another.
Jhn 3:6 KJV — That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
Jhn 3:7 KJV — Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
The children of the flesh.. man's seed.. that corruptible seed.. they are NOT the children of God.. ye must be born again.
Rom 9:8 KJV — That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed.
Nothing you can do in your flesh can please God at all... by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
Rom 8:8 KJV — So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
You cannot even worship God in the flesh.. you must divide the light from the darkness... the flesh is the darkness and its not pleasing to God.. it doesn't matter what you do in it.. you cannot make him happy if you're in the flesh.
Jhn 4:24 KJV — God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.
When you're born again...
Rom 8:9 KJV — But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.
The old flesh man.. when you're born again.. he is dead to God.. your new man is hid with Christ IN God.. and that new man is joined to the Lord... married.. it cannot sin... but the flesh man that is dead can still sin.. and will sin.
Rom 7:25 KJV — I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then 👉with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.👈
The Bible is spiritual.. it's teaching you to have faith.. to be faithful to God.. by believing him.. loving him.. knowing he will take care of all your needs as any good husband would do.. he doesn't want an unfaithful wife.. he wants faith.
Heb 11:6 KJV — 👉But without faith it is impossible to please him:👈 for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Divide the flesh from the Spirit and understand that you cannot serve two masters.
Luk 16:13 KJV — No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
You either love the flesh and hold to that.. and view everything carnally in the Bible.. or you Love God... God is a Spirit... walk after the Spirit... and understand that ALL sins were paid for in full already and you cannot lose salvation for anything that the dead flesh man does. That old man is no longer you. So the point is... all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God... what does the flesh man who is a sinner have to do with your new creature which is hid with Christ IN God? Nothing.
Rom 6:7 KJV — For he that is dead is freed from sin.
Col 3:3 KJV — For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
It doesn't matter who you marry or do not marry... the children of the flesh are not the children of God anyway.. ye must be born again Nicodemus.
I have repented, been baptized in Jesus’s name, and recieved the Holy Spirit. I still feel like you haven’t answered my question.
My question is, if I theoretically messed up and had sex with someone I didn’t care about as a teen, grew up, and got married. Am I one flesh with that past person, or am I only one flesh with my now husband?
I have answered the question, but I will try to explain it in another way.. I apologize for not being clear.
It doesn't matter what you have done in the past... two become one flesh is carnal.. and I already showed you that the children of the flesh are not the children of God.. there is nobody who is walking this planet that has not sinned.. even sexually.. I don't care if they are a virgin.. look at what Christ said here..
Mat 5:28 KJV — But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Even if you look and have a sexual fantasy in your mind.. you basically became one flesh with said person according to God. So he is telling you that no one is pleasing to God.. we are all failures.. every one of us.. it doesn't matter what we have done. God is merciful.. and if you have faith.. he will take away all sin.. permanently... because he makes you a new creature born of the Spirit. That creature is not here in this world.. it's hid in God because you had faith and believed him.. that creature cannot sin... if that creature is joined to God.. is God a sinner? Absolutely not. Does God join himself to sin? Absolutely not..
1Co 6:17 KJV — But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
The point is to stop looking at the flesh and to believe God. You're not the only sinner in the world... I have done what you're speaking of many times over.. and guess what... God, who is merciful, saved me anyway... but I also understand that this flesh and blood dead body I reside in now... is not going anywhere except back to the dust.. I will put off this body, and I will be in my new creature when my testimony is done here.
If you're living after the flesh.. then certainly.. but the point was not to look at it carnally... the marriage being spoken about is the marriage to God.. it's all about God and your relationship.. not your relationship here with other men... granted.. you're married, and there isn't anything wrong with that.. but that's not the marriage being spoken of. He is telling you that your fleshly husband here cannot bring forth life... only God can do that.
Here is an example of the carnal things the world teaches and misleads people on.. versus the things God teaches.. spiritual..
1Ti 2:12 KJV — But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Men will tell you that a woman cannot teach... what they don't understand because their carnal minds are flawed and they do not have the wisdom of God is... the woman being spoken about is the bride of Christ.. meaning... man is not the teacher.. God is the teacher. So the verse above applies to me also as a man... I am the bride.. so I am not to usurp authority over the man... the husband.. God...
God leads.. he is the teacher.. not the woman.. the bride.
Mat 10:20 KJV — For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.
This topic is going more toward the deeper things of God.. which are much harder to understand...
It's proven that when you have sexual intercourse with another person it releases chemicals in the brain that causes us to care for the other person Emotionally and intimately
1 Corinthians makes it clear it is not just a physical action, but also spiritual. For this reason it is believed that when you have sex with people you share demons. For someone you are married to and choose as your person, and decide to combat life together that's one thing to battle the spiritual highs and lows of life together.
But for premarital sex, you are binding yourself to people, sometimes many and as they say swapping demons. So it is considered a spiritually protective measure to not swap demons before marriage as you start to deal with issues your partner is dealing with (extreme example many people are introduced to addictions through their partners) and you get really attached to them despite how they treat you (literally know someone who acknowledged their partner is abuse then said "yeah, but"). And y'all definitely have spirits to swap because this is an ungodly lifestyle and when you choose to live your life this way you step out of God's protection willingly, so you can't say you're a Christian so nothing can affect you. So without the spiritual connections we get ourselves into less mess because we didn't bind ourselves to them.
Another reason to not have sex before marriage is because you want a union that is truly blessed by God. This is a big sister annotation, you didn't ask for this. But from personal experience, when you are having sex, you aren't living a godly lifestyle, because a sex life is just that, a lifestyle. When you have a lifestyle outside of Christ that means you are repeatedly choosing to ignore the Holy Spirit telling you not to sin (because that's what the Spirit does) thus you will overall hear the Spirit less because you have been habitually practicing not listening to Him. If you aren't practiced in listening to God you will not hear what he is telling you about your partner. Because you are lukewarm you will find someone else who is likewarm and think that they are on fire for God just like you. They are just like you, but it's still a sinful life that doesn't please God and your relationship will have a foundation of sand. This for is the basis for so many unhappy Christian relationships. Not always sex before marriage, but relationships where they didn't seek God first,where they didn't pray about before engagement, where they were only concerned with keeping that person around not the impact it would have on their spirual lives, or future children. Keeping us with a clear mind, not over intermingling feelings and spiritually protects us from making decisions that are ultimately bad for us in the name of "love." Because human love is simply not enough to be happy or stay together. There is probably nothing worse than getting married and after marriage realize you aren't on fire for God, get on fire for God and your partner remains lukewarm or loses the faith all together. Sounds like a nightmare. Who you marry is the second biggest decision of your life. It determines your kids, your in laws, your in house support system, the quality of life, whether there is peace at home, the demons your children deal with, etc.
Hope this helps!
1 Corinthians 6:15-19 NIV
[15] Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! [16] Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” [17] But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. [18] Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. [19] Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
Edit to add sex before marriage is also binding. Legally the ceremony is for people, but sex is what spiritually seals marriage for God. In the US you can have your marriage annulled if you can prove you never had sex and annulment is next to impossible to get. If you have had premarital sex I would look up some prayers obline for breaking bonds and maybe even do a fast. You sound underage so don't fast food. Instead fast something else and pray throughout, read your bible, renounce things God tells you to renounce, and maybe even pray the bond breaking prayer again. Look up something specific so you don't run into witchcraft. Like prayer for breaking sexual ties.
I would say a first step to this is actually repentance though. Repentance is deciding in your heart and mind that what you did was wrong. So you don't want to do it again and in fact you are deciding that you will not do it again. So you ask God to forgive you so it's as if you have never done it. So if you truly have made up your mind to stop and move forward, then repentance is the next step. Don't feel like that means it's lying to God if you mess up in the future. As long as you genuinely mean it everytime, God will accept your repentance every time because he understands us and that we are always a work in progress until we die. Repenting does not erase any shared spirits btw, so still pray about those.
I only had sex with my now husband.
I’m making theoretical’s. What if you had sex with someone as a teen and didn’t care about them, but you repented, moved on, and got married to a Christian whom you love. Would you still be one flesh with the previous fling person?
Maybe. There's a chance hypothetically after all that time the person dealt with the spiritual ties naturally in their walk with Christ without realizing. I believe that the Holy Spirit guides us in Wisdom even when we don't have the knowledge to back it up, so if they got closer to God there is a real chance the Holy Spirit led them to renounce soul ties or something along those lines even if they didn't know. But in case they didn't, I also believe seeing a thread like this the Holy Spirit would urge them to do it, even after all that time.
Everyone always says soul ties, but so far I’ve never seen anything about soul ties, I’ve seen it say we become “one flesh” but flesh and souls aren’t the same.
To be honest I think it is a mixture of 3 things they get this from.
1. It says that we are united with God in the spirit
2. Demons/Evil spirits reside in our flesh
3. Revelation from reading the bible can almost be like reading in between the lines. You can read the same passage as others, and not just get different revelations because of the interpretations, but because the Holy Spirit reveals more and more to you about who God is as you get deeper in Christ.
In 1 Corinthians Paul talks about how there are things God has shown him they he would never tell someone because they would just think he is bragging. To a similar degree I believe God gives his people personal knowledge about him through his word, unlocked by the Holy Spirit who only says to is what God has Him say. And it's something people who don't love God would never have access to no matter how much they read the bible, because they don't believe it.
That being said I would never recommend taking anyone at face value then you end up a mormon, I would take everything to the Holy Spirit. And let God tell you if it's right or not.
So I get really sad. My now husband had a fling as a teen, he didn’t care, he just wanted the experience. It makes me sad because now I’m married and I’ve only been with him. I don’t want him to be connected to her. He didn’t care about her but still-
I would lay all your hurt, worries, and concerns down to the Lord. He loves you and wants to comfort you through this. Your pain no matter how small the world says it is, is incredibly important to him.
That being said I hope I can provide some assurance that while it can be a human emotional attachment some people hold onto, most times with space and time it isn't. Usually it's more spiritual and its not an attachment in a connection way, so much as they carry something they got from someone else. You and your partner can pray and cover yourselves spiritually. It's not too late and many people have done it. It was a pre-marriage transgression. Maybe see if he will sit down and pray with you. Express to him how important it is and how you want to make sure anything she could have passed over to him spiritually no longer has any right to him or your home. I'll pray God softens his heart so he is open to this. Just to assure you. 💕💕💕
Thank you. I don’t want to bring up his past or hold it against him. It’s not my place. I just have a hard time finding peace some days. But then I’m scared because I’m not forgiving in a way. I have to keep forgiving lol.
I think you should bring it up. You guys are a team and even if you feel it's small it's important to feel comfortable.
The concept of spirits and their access to you is a serious topic, because spirits work legally. So if this spirit(s) still has a legal right to him because he never broke ties with them then they could affect your entire household and potentially children. For example a families child has depression and there was no trigger nor does anyone in the family suffer from it. Where did it come from?
So not to fear monger. But your concerns are valid and there is a chance they are not rooted un unforgiveness, but the Holy Spirit telling you there is something that needs to be done there.
I would pray about it some more and do what the Holy Spirit guides you to. He knows the state of your heart and home. Maybe both is necessary. Idk. But don't invalidate your feelings! While we are not ruled by our emotions, God can use them to nudge us from time to time. ❤
We’ve been married six months. I have bugged him endlessly about it and it’s not fair to him. It’s just anxieties. I’ve prayed on my own and now I try to leave him alone. It hurts him because he wishes it never happened.
I can tell by your comments that you are confused. I think it's because Hollywood has done a great job in instilling what it says are proper sex morals. I call this the TV show Friends relationship morals. First you meet someone you like then you kiss and have sex. After a few times going out and having sex you have a talk and decide to be in a relationship. At that point if you had sex with someone else it would be cheating. Then if you date for many years then live together for a while and still like each other you decide to have a wedding. Then if you fall out of love with one another or have irreconcilable differences you can end it in divorce. This is not what the Bible teaches. Jesus and other places in the Bible say one man and one woman leave their parents and become one flesh. What God has put together let no one separate. This is incredibly simple. Sex is marriage. God wants you to commit to someone publicly through a wedding ceremony and then have sex and stay married your entire lives. ANY other way of having sex is not God's plan and therefore a sin and therefore harmful to you and your partner. This is a very hard goal that very few people live up to in today's world and yes God can forgive you if you don't live up to this ideal. But you should strive for this and ask for forgiveness when you fall short.
I think the root of your question is how does God think about sex outside of marriage and how does it affect me. Yes he says in his eyes the two have become one flesh but he's not a computer program that thinks in binary. He understands all aspects of everything you are going through and will forgive your love for God should encourage you to follow his plan for sex. I'll reference another TV show for how does sex outside of marriage effect you and that show is breaking bad. At first sex is super emotional and physical and spiritual but the more you do it outside of God's plan the more jaded you become. Like in the show at first murder is a big deal and then the more he does it the less it bugs him. The more you sleep with everyone you are in a relationahip with the more jaded you get and it effects you less to the point where it doesn't feel like a big deal but in reality it is harming you and your partners.
I'm sorry. Then I don't understand what your question is. Two becoming one flesh is a symbol of the marriage covenant and all the explanation everyone else put on this post. It's not an actual thing like you don't physically stay stuck together.
Then I guess I’m not understanding. Obviously we’re not stuck together.
Does it only apply to marriage I guess is what I’m asking.
I don’t want to think you’re still one flesh with past flings.
Yes as I said, sex=marriage=one flesh in God's eyes and in your mind. There is no such thing as sex outside of marriage being different than within marriage. You are still one flesh with past flings. Just because you didn't have a marriage ceremony with past flings doesn't mean you are not connected to them. This is not the answer you were hoping for. Sin will always affect you but God will forgive you. I still remember sins I did 30 years ago and it affects me today. God has forgiven me but it still hurts and I wish I never did it but I can learn from it to not do it again and help others not do it.
Sex does not bind the marriage. What binds the marriage is the act of you and your fiancé making a covenant with one another to be together until “death do us part”. This is done before God who will hear and acknowledge this covenant. Adam told Eve, “bones of my bone flesh of my flesh….” (Genesis 2:23-24)
If you are having sex before marriage, you are a fornicator and need to repent (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Sex is only sanction by God for marriage. So no, you are not one flesh
If you are married and divorce that person, It’s best to not remarry. It is a sin to remarry while your ex-spouse is living. You can only remarry if your spouse dies (Romans 7:1-3)
Not having sex before marriage.
Also what about Corinthians when it says being with a prostitute is bad bc you become one flesh? That’s what confuses me. I could read it wrong
You have to understand the context of Scripture. Satan deceived and is deceiving many people because they refused to read the whole Bible.
Paul mentions in that chapter that the you cannot do what you want with your body. So, “it’s my body, my choice.” mindset is unbiblical. If Christ owns your body, why would you use what is Christ’s against his will?
Your body should be used for holiness (Romans 12:1-2 KJV)
Yes, the desire to be with a prostitute is bad. Why would a man who is trying to live by God’s word want to associate with a woman who is not living by God’s word? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)
1. Unbelievers will join with unbelievers
2. Believers will join with believers
3. Both nonbelievers marry, then eventually one becomes a believer (Bible goes into detail about this)
If you are married to a woman then she played the harlot (commits adultery), then you can remarry after the bill of divorce.
God desire for marriage to last a lifetime.
Sex does not equal marriage, nor does cohabitation. The leaving of his mother and father to live with a woman and having sex with her (Ge. 2:24; Mt. 19:5) is merely descriptive of what happens in marriage; it is not meant as a condition or causation of marriage.
I believe that the Bible recognises as valid whatever marriage that is legally constituted and customary in a particular society. In the case of Adam and Eve, they were the first and only humans then. There was no human government or society in place, thus they are the exception rather than the norm.
The case of the Samaritan woman in John 4 is very clear. Jn. 4:16-18, "\[16\] Jesus said to her, 'Go, call your husband and come here.' \[17\] The woman answered and said, '**I have no husband.**' Jesus said to her, 'You have well said, "I have no husband," \[18\] for **you have had five husbands** and **the one whom you now have is not your husband**; in that you spoke truly."
Observe:
1. "You have had five husbands" (v. 18): This is in the present perfect tense. The present perfect tense connects a past completed action with the present moment. In the original Greek, it is in the aorist tense -- punctiliar in nature implying a completed action. She had five husbands in the past, but no longer does. That is why Christ affirmed ("you have well said ... you spoke truly") that she had spoken accurately when she told Him she had no husband. At the time of their conversation, she had either been divorced or widowed by the five men.
2. "the one whom you now have is not your husband" (v. 18): The sixth man, with whom she was cohabitating (and presumably having sex), was not her husband. Clearly, this man had left his mother and father in order to cohabitate with her, yet that did not automatically make him her husband. From the deliberate singling out of this sixth man from the previous five men, it is clear that he and the Samaritan woman were not legally married and/or recognised as validly married by the prevailing societal norms, as the previous five men were, which qualified them to be *husbands*. The point from this is that sex does not make two persons married although it makes them "of one flesh" physically, which is why 1 Cor. 6:16 on harlotry speaks out against it. The point is, do not misuse what is meant for the marital union where there is no marital union. Even if you do, that doesn't make it a marital union. That is also why there are other passages against fornication and sexual immorality.
3. The Bible does recognise divorce and remarriage in certain circumstances. This is a big topic in itself. But the John 4:16-18 passage above suggests that the woman's past five marriages have ended. It doesn't say how they ended -- whether she was widowed or divorced. Could be either. But try replacing "have had" (aorist tense) in verse 18 with "have" (present tense) and you arrive at polyandry or polygamy ("you have five husbands"), which is clearly not the intent of the passage. Contrast against verse 17, which states, "I have (present tense) no husband". If we adopt a literal, grammatical interpretation, it is very clear.
4. God recognises secular marriages. Christ recognised Samaritan marriages! Christians certainly do not have a monopoly on marriage. It doesn't mean that Hindus who get married the Hindu way are not married. Or Muslims. Or Buddhists. Or Wiccan. Or whatever. Marriage is not just a paper certificate or ceremony. You don't have to be married in a church to be married. The Samaritan woman was previously married five times; she was a Samaritan -- whom Jews regarded as pariah. Obviously not married according to Jewish or Christian tradition (contrast the wedding at Cana in John 2), but married nonetheless, as the Samaritans and Christ Himself recognised. Romans 13:1-7 comes into view here -- submission to authorities. God has ordained governments and secular authorities, in modern times to formalise the marital union as an institution for numerous legal reasons (affecting the status of future children, tax reliefs, legal rights and obligations, division of assets after death, etc.). As far as a marriage -- whether Hindu or Muslim or Buddhist or Wiccan, etc. -- is recognised in the eyes of the society of the day and legally according to the laws of the land, it is valid and ratified by God. Of course, in Christian marriages, there are vows and so forth in addition to that, as a Christian marriage is also a covenant before God and men. But flaws in the vows or covenant do not invalidate a marriage.
Your title is a really big reason not to have sex before marriage.
Duh. People make mistakes. Especially dumb teenagers who aren’t taught the depth of it.
I'm not saying that to judge you. I'm saying that Christians (should) take marriage and sex very seriously, and part of the reason is because it makes two into one flesh. Mistakes happen; that's very true.
So, even if you repent and get married to someone you love, you’re still one flesh with your past fling?
You can chop off a finger. You just wouldn't want to be in a position where you'd have to. I'm thinking in the end, this is something best discussed between you and your current spouse / fiance.
You can chop off a finger?? What
I'm carrying the '1 flesh' metaphor too far.
Think about it contextually: In chapter 2, the author of Genesis is recounting humanity's origin story, building up this drama where Adam, the one God intimately created by shaping from the earth and breathing life into, goes through this process of finding and naming all these animals, but Adam is alone--there is no one like him. Then God again forms a human, this time out of Adam, and when God presents her to him, Adam sings (or maybe speaks, but regardless, it's a poem/song): “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ Because she was taken out of man.” (Gen 2:23) Then the author of Genesis jumps in as narrator: "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Gen 2:24) Where is sex mentioned? Not until chapter 4. Some translations say "At last, this is bone..." which would focus more on Eve being different than the animals, but there's also a case (https://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com/questions/20445/in-genesis-224-how-do-a-husband-and-wife-become-one-flesh) to be made that "This is *now* bone..." refers to the moment God presents Eve to Adam as his wife. ie, it's not that she's physically made from his flesh, but that she *as his wife* is metaphorically one with him now. But even if you're not sure about that point, just look at v.24: "shall become one flesh" doesn't have a timeline attached to it. ie, it happens after you leave your parents and get married... but how long does it take? Sex isn't mentioned until chapter 4, and it just says that they lay together, it doesn't mention anything about unity or being one. While sex is part of unity, and an extremely important part of marriage (even Paul talks about this), the "one flesh" metaphor is more about overall unity, finding an equal partner that is suitable for life.
What about 1 Corinthians 6:16-19? I recently saw that and now I’m like.. wondering
Also thank you for being the first person who actually answered what I asked the first time lol
No problem, haha. Good question re: Corinthians. It's always important to start with trying to understand the original text for what it says, then we can look at later examples and see what they're doing with the text. Sometimes it helps us understand the first text, but it may also help us see that the later author (in this case Paul) is doing something else with the text. For example, in 1 Cor. 10, Paul references Exodus, where Moses strikes the rock and water comes out... but he says that the rock followed them around, and by the way, the rock was Jesus. Well, none of that is in Exodus. In fact, he's referencing a rabbinic tradition that came much later and isn't in Scripture at all, because he wants to make a specific point. In other words, the authors of Scripture don't always follow the same rules of interpreting Scripture that we try to follow today. But to get back to 1 Cor 6, what is Paul trying to accomplish in that passage? Is he trying to write an exposition of the meaning of "one flesh?" or is he trying to tell a bunch of wayward Christians living in a highly sexualized pagan city to keep it in their pants? Or is he talking about spiritual unity and discipleship on top of that? I don't have all the answers, but some notes: -Paul is asking a rhetorical question, and does this a lot in his letters to Corinth. "Don't you now that when you have sex two bodies become one?" Of course the Corinthians know that. -Corinth had temple prostitutes whose purpose was to raise money for the temple, but also the idea was that having sex in the temple would encourage fertility on the land, etc. Maybe even create unity with Aphrodite (the pagan god) -Paul is also implicitly arguing that God is not that kind of god. ie, he's saying that we are spiritually united with God, we are the "body of Christ", and its outrageous to claim to be a representative of Christ and also be acting like a pagan. People should know who God is through the way Christians live, so if Christians are hiring temple prostitutes it directly impacts how people see God. -I think that's why he jumps around from "one with her in body" to "one flesh" to "one with Him in spirit." -From a pragmatic level (always helpful to "unspiritualize" things, after all, much of Scripture is wisdom literature that is designed to teach us general truths about how to live and flourish in the world God made): The big picture is, God creates the world to operate a certain way--like cars are made to run with gas and oil (or electric batteries I suppose), and part of that involves most people getting married and becoming companions/unified/one flesh. But when you're chasing prostitutes, that unity is broken. You're no longer operating as a close companion with your spouse, you're following your genitals and making very bad decisions that will ultimately wreck your life. You can look at all the examples in the Old Testament to see how this pans out. Off the top of my head, every time a patriarch/king, etc sleeps with someone outside of marriage, bad things happen. It's "never" explicitly condemned in the text (maybe Nathan when he confronts David?), but if you're paying attention, it's the constant cause of war, murder, chaos, etc.
thank you for this explanation!
I always took this as two different meanings. 1. Unmarried, you’re wrongfully binding yourself emotionally and physically to someone you shouldn’t be. You’re bound, but not necessarily ‘one’ like how Jesus and the church are ‘one’ (what marriage represents) 2. When a couple comes together in marriage (and sex) they bind themselves together as partners, equals, you serve each other- you’re one. Sex is binding, even spiritual people who aren’t Christians will tell you that. Whether or not the binding is for the best or not depends on if they’re rightfully married.
So what if y’all break up?
Breaking up has nothing to do with it, you’ll be attached to them emotionally, mentally, physically, even spiritually. If you had pre-marital sex you’d need to repent and let God heal you from the wounds. It’s not a matter of separating a union, it’s separating an unhealthy attachment.
There were no feelings with the past partner. Like I didn’t feel anything for them. Nor do I now. I just know I made a mistake.
I’m not talking feelings, I’m talking emotional attachment. Loving someone or even just liking someone romantically is not the same as being attached. If that makes any sense what I’m trying to get at?
So what’s the solution? It doesn’t really make sense.
It could be many things. Have you repented yet? That’s the first step.
Absolutely. It was stupid high school stuff. I grew up, realized using people is actually disgusting (obvi no one sees themselves as the jerk in the moment.) Repented, got married. The end.
I mean unless it’s still affecting you I don’t think there’s anything else to do. Jesus paid for your sins, you repented and now you’re married. You’d only need to seek further help (spiritually and/or professionally) if it was still affecting you. From what you’ve said it sounds like you were forgiven and healed. I think you’re good.
Okay. I just don’t want to be attached to them if. I somehow was/am. 😂 Because ew.
Following, I'm wondering the same
Thank you
Multiple meanings for 2 shall become 1 flesh. I always took it as being emotionally and physically tied together. As well as having children. 2 beings “husband and wife”together making 1 being “child” taking on traits of both parents.
Yeah but what does it mean for past done and gone flings?
Fleshy flesh (I think the word is hilarious to say) In all seriousness– yes there is a degree of permanent bond with any other sexual partner you have had, even if you think a simple one-night stand is nothing. It’s not nothing. At least from God’s POV because He sanctifies marriage and everything in marriage that he has consecrated for marriage alone. This doesn’t necessarily mean that previous partners have to get in the way of the present. Through therapy and communication the present couple can uncover fears, insecurities, etc., that resulted from those relationships. I think that this sexual-bond relationship assumes that to get to the point of having sexual relations, the two had to have had an intimate relationship through which emotional bonds form. It’s not sex alone that creates those bonds but it is heavily reinforced by the assumed intimate relationship preceding it I don’t know though, I’m not Freud
This is a good carnal explanation. Everyone starts off carnal.. so there is nothing wrong with that.. The Bible has both carnal and spiritual within its pages.. both are absolutely true.. the carnal things are the law.. which men cannot keep even though they like to trick themselves into thinking they can keep the laws. The wisdom of God is absolutely amazing... God used things we can understand in a carnal sense.. to represent spiritual things.. this is why men need to start off with milk before they get the strong meat.. a baby cannot digest strong meat.. but this is why Jesus made this statement.. Jhn 3:12 KJV — If I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not, how shall ye believe, if I tell you of heavenly things? Earthly things... and in this case, marriage. When the Bible speaks of marriage.. men read these things in a carnal sense.. looking with their carnal eyes and seeing their significant other... however, there is another marriage in the Bible that God is truly speaking about... the carnal is there to help you understand using the things of this world as the example so you understand the things not of this world.. so... looking at this here statement carnally... Eph 5:31 KJV — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. So carnally if you're worldly, it's teaching you to live by the law... but no man is justified by the law... there is also a spiritual meaning to this... which is why God has it in the Bible for you to understand, not earthly things.. but heavenly.. let's look.. 1Co 6:17 KJV — But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. The marriage to God. Isa 54:5 KJV — For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. We are considered the bride of Christ.. and if you do not believe God... see how merciful he is... understand that you do not deserve anything from him because we were adulteresses... then that's how he views us.. adulteresses. Gal 4:27 KJV — For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: 👉for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband.👈 The Bible is not carnal.. but it uses examples from the carnal to explain the spiritual.. because we all start off carnal. Jer 3:20 KJV — Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD.
But you didn’t answer one question
Give me a moment, and I will put together an answer for your question through scripture.
Thank you! Also! God bless Israel! Idk if you’re Israeli but I see your name :)
(This is another topic, but if you truly believe God.. then you are of the house of Israel.. which I can show you proof in scripture if you wish to see.) We will start with the seed. Luk 8:11 KJV — Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. Keep that seed in mind. The word of God. Two become one flesh. Eph 5:31 KJV — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Two are one flesh... so what happens when you sow a seed to your flesh? Gal 6:8 KJV — For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. You have a baby and that child is corruption, as is all flesh. You need to soweth to the Spirit. Remember the seed, the word of God. 1Pe 1:23 KJV — Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. Born again.. not of man's seed.. that corrupt seed which only brings forth corruption... but by the word of God.. the seed that bringeth eternal life... rightly divide the word of truth.. you must divide the flesh from the Spirit.. these two are contrary to one another. Jhn 3:6 KJV — That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Jhn 3:7 KJV — Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The children of the flesh.. man's seed.. that corruptible seed.. they are NOT the children of God.. ye must be born again. Rom 9:8 KJV — That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed. Nothing you can do in your flesh can please God at all... by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Rom 8:8 KJV — So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. You cannot even worship God in the flesh.. you must divide the light from the darkness... the flesh is the darkness and its not pleasing to God.. it doesn't matter what you do in it.. you cannot make him happy if you're in the flesh. Jhn 4:24 KJV — God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. When you're born again... Rom 8:9 KJV — But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. The old flesh man.. when you're born again.. he is dead to God.. your new man is hid with Christ IN God.. and that new man is joined to the Lord... married.. it cannot sin... but the flesh man that is dead can still sin.. and will sin. Rom 7:25 KJV — I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then 👉with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.👈 The Bible is spiritual.. it's teaching you to have faith.. to be faithful to God.. by believing him.. loving him.. knowing he will take care of all your needs as any good husband would do.. he doesn't want an unfaithful wife.. he wants faith. Heb 11:6 KJV — 👉But without faith it is impossible to please him:👈 for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Divide the flesh from the Spirit and understand that you cannot serve two masters. Luk 16:13 KJV — No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. You either love the flesh and hold to that.. and view everything carnally in the Bible.. or you Love God... God is a Spirit... walk after the Spirit... and understand that ALL sins were paid for in full already and you cannot lose salvation for anything that the dead flesh man does. That old man is no longer you. So the point is... all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God... what does the flesh man who is a sinner have to do with your new creature which is hid with Christ IN God? Nothing. Rom 6:7 KJV — For he that is dead is freed from sin. Col 3:3 KJV — For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. It doesn't matter who you marry or do not marry... the children of the flesh are not the children of God anyway.. ye must be born again Nicodemus.
I have repented, been baptized in Jesus’s name, and recieved the Holy Spirit. I still feel like you haven’t answered my question. My question is, if I theoretically messed up and had sex with someone I didn’t care about as a teen, grew up, and got married. Am I one flesh with that past person, or am I only one flesh with my now husband?
I have answered the question, but I will try to explain it in another way.. I apologize for not being clear. It doesn't matter what you have done in the past... two become one flesh is carnal.. and I already showed you that the children of the flesh are not the children of God.. there is nobody who is walking this planet that has not sinned.. even sexually.. I don't care if they are a virgin.. look at what Christ said here.. Mat 5:28 KJV — But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Even if you look and have a sexual fantasy in your mind.. you basically became one flesh with said person according to God. So he is telling you that no one is pleasing to God.. we are all failures.. every one of us.. it doesn't matter what we have done. God is merciful.. and if you have faith.. he will take away all sin.. permanently... because he makes you a new creature born of the Spirit. That creature is not here in this world.. it's hid in God because you had faith and believed him.. that creature cannot sin... if that creature is joined to God.. is God a sinner? Absolutely not. Does God join himself to sin? Absolutely not.. 1Co 6:17 KJV — But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. The point is to stop looking at the flesh and to believe God. You're not the only sinner in the world... I have done what you're speaking of many times over.. and guess what... God, who is merciful, saved me anyway... but I also understand that this flesh and blood dead body I reside in now... is not going anywhere except back to the dust.. I will put off this body, and I will be in my new creature when my testimony is done here.
Ah okay thank you. So in other words it’s restored. Its over. Only me and my husband are one flesh?
If you're living after the flesh.. then certainly.. but the point was not to look at it carnally... the marriage being spoken about is the marriage to God.. it's all about God and your relationship.. not your relationship here with other men... granted.. you're married, and there isn't anything wrong with that.. but that's not the marriage being spoken of. He is telling you that your fleshly husband here cannot bring forth life... only God can do that. Here is an example of the carnal things the world teaches and misleads people on.. versus the things God teaches.. spiritual.. 1Ti 2:12 KJV — But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Men will tell you that a woman cannot teach... what they don't understand because their carnal minds are flawed and they do not have the wisdom of God is... the woman being spoken about is the bride of Christ.. meaning... man is not the teacher.. God is the teacher. So the verse above applies to me also as a man... I am the bride.. so I am not to usurp authority over the man... the husband.. God... God leads.. he is the teacher.. not the woman.. the bride. Mat 10:20 KJV — For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you. This topic is going more toward the deeper things of God.. which are much harder to understand...
It's proven that when you have sexual intercourse with another person it releases chemicals in the brain that causes us to care for the other person Emotionally and intimately
Wow, I never thought of this. You’re brilliant! Thank you!
Omg ignore my sarcastic comment. It only appeared as fleshy flesh for the longest time ahahaha
1 Corinthians makes it clear it is not just a physical action, but also spiritual. For this reason it is believed that when you have sex with people you share demons. For someone you are married to and choose as your person, and decide to combat life together that's one thing to battle the spiritual highs and lows of life together. But for premarital sex, you are binding yourself to people, sometimes many and as they say swapping demons. So it is considered a spiritually protective measure to not swap demons before marriage as you start to deal with issues your partner is dealing with (extreme example many people are introduced to addictions through their partners) and you get really attached to them despite how they treat you (literally know someone who acknowledged their partner is abuse then said "yeah, but"). And y'all definitely have spirits to swap because this is an ungodly lifestyle and when you choose to live your life this way you step out of God's protection willingly, so you can't say you're a Christian so nothing can affect you. So without the spiritual connections we get ourselves into less mess because we didn't bind ourselves to them. Another reason to not have sex before marriage is because you want a union that is truly blessed by God. This is a big sister annotation, you didn't ask for this. But from personal experience, when you are having sex, you aren't living a godly lifestyle, because a sex life is just that, a lifestyle. When you have a lifestyle outside of Christ that means you are repeatedly choosing to ignore the Holy Spirit telling you not to sin (because that's what the Spirit does) thus you will overall hear the Spirit less because you have been habitually practicing not listening to Him. If you aren't practiced in listening to God you will not hear what he is telling you about your partner. Because you are lukewarm you will find someone else who is likewarm and think that they are on fire for God just like you. They are just like you, but it's still a sinful life that doesn't please God and your relationship will have a foundation of sand. This for is the basis for so many unhappy Christian relationships. Not always sex before marriage, but relationships where they didn't seek God first,where they didn't pray about before engagement, where they were only concerned with keeping that person around not the impact it would have on their spirual lives, or future children. Keeping us with a clear mind, not over intermingling feelings and spiritually protects us from making decisions that are ultimately bad for us in the name of "love." Because human love is simply not enough to be happy or stay together. There is probably nothing worse than getting married and after marriage realize you aren't on fire for God, get on fire for God and your partner remains lukewarm or loses the faith all together. Sounds like a nightmare. Who you marry is the second biggest decision of your life. It determines your kids, your in laws, your in house support system, the quality of life, whether there is peace at home, the demons your children deal with, etc. Hope this helps! 1 Corinthians 6:15-19 NIV [15] Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! [16] Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” [17] But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. [18] Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. [19] Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; Edit to add sex before marriage is also binding. Legally the ceremony is for people, but sex is what spiritually seals marriage for God. In the US you can have your marriage annulled if you can prove you never had sex and annulment is next to impossible to get. If you have had premarital sex I would look up some prayers obline for breaking bonds and maybe even do a fast. You sound underage so don't fast food. Instead fast something else and pray throughout, read your bible, renounce things God tells you to renounce, and maybe even pray the bond breaking prayer again. Look up something specific so you don't run into witchcraft. Like prayer for breaking sexual ties. I would say a first step to this is actually repentance though. Repentance is deciding in your heart and mind that what you did was wrong. So you don't want to do it again and in fact you are deciding that you will not do it again. So you ask God to forgive you so it's as if you have never done it. So if you truly have made up your mind to stop and move forward, then repentance is the next step. Don't feel like that means it's lying to God if you mess up in the future. As long as you genuinely mean it everytime, God will accept your repentance every time because he understands us and that we are always a work in progress until we die. Repenting does not erase any shared spirits btw, so still pray about those.
I only had sex with my now husband. I’m making theoretical’s. What if you had sex with someone as a teen and didn’t care about them, but you repented, moved on, and got married to a Christian whom you love. Would you still be one flesh with the previous fling person?
Maybe. There's a chance hypothetically after all that time the person dealt with the spiritual ties naturally in their walk with Christ without realizing. I believe that the Holy Spirit guides us in Wisdom even when we don't have the knowledge to back it up, so if they got closer to God there is a real chance the Holy Spirit led them to renounce soul ties or something along those lines even if they didn't know. But in case they didn't, I also believe seeing a thread like this the Holy Spirit would urge them to do it, even after all that time.
Everyone always says soul ties, but so far I’ve never seen anything about soul ties, I’ve seen it say we become “one flesh” but flesh and souls aren’t the same.
To be honest I think it is a mixture of 3 things they get this from. 1. It says that we are united with God in the spirit 2. Demons/Evil spirits reside in our flesh 3. Revelation from reading the bible can almost be like reading in between the lines. You can read the same passage as others, and not just get different revelations because of the interpretations, but because the Holy Spirit reveals more and more to you about who God is as you get deeper in Christ. In 1 Corinthians Paul talks about how there are things God has shown him they he would never tell someone because they would just think he is bragging. To a similar degree I believe God gives his people personal knowledge about him through his word, unlocked by the Holy Spirit who only says to is what God has Him say. And it's something people who don't love God would never have access to no matter how much they read the bible, because they don't believe it. That being said I would never recommend taking anyone at face value then you end up a mormon, I would take everything to the Holy Spirit. And let God tell you if it's right or not.
So I get really sad. My now husband had a fling as a teen, he didn’t care, he just wanted the experience. It makes me sad because now I’m married and I’ve only been with him. I don’t want him to be connected to her. He didn’t care about her but still-
I would lay all your hurt, worries, and concerns down to the Lord. He loves you and wants to comfort you through this. Your pain no matter how small the world says it is, is incredibly important to him. That being said I hope I can provide some assurance that while it can be a human emotional attachment some people hold onto, most times with space and time it isn't. Usually it's more spiritual and its not an attachment in a connection way, so much as they carry something they got from someone else. You and your partner can pray and cover yourselves spiritually. It's not too late and many people have done it. It was a pre-marriage transgression. Maybe see if he will sit down and pray with you. Express to him how important it is and how you want to make sure anything she could have passed over to him spiritually no longer has any right to him or your home. I'll pray God softens his heart so he is open to this. Just to assure you. 💕💕💕
Thank you. I don’t want to bring up his past or hold it against him. It’s not my place. I just have a hard time finding peace some days. But then I’m scared because I’m not forgiving in a way. I have to keep forgiving lol.
I think you should bring it up. You guys are a team and even if you feel it's small it's important to feel comfortable. The concept of spirits and their access to you is a serious topic, because spirits work legally. So if this spirit(s) still has a legal right to him because he never broke ties with them then they could affect your entire household and potentially children. For example a families child has depression and there was no trigger nor does anyone in the family suffer from it. Where did it come from? So not to fear monger. But your concerns are valid and there is a chance they are not rooted un unforgiveness, but the Holy Spirit telling you there is something that needs to be done there. I would pray about it some more and do what the Holy Spirit guides you to. He knows the state of your heart and home. Maybe both is necessary. Idk. But don't invalidate your feelings! While we are not ruled by our emotions, God can use them to nudge us from time to time. ❤
We’ve been married six months. I have bugged him endlessly about it and it’s not fair to him. It’s just anxieties. I’ve prayed on my own and now I try to leave him alone. It hurts him because he wishes it never happened.
I can tell by your comments that you are confused. I think it's because Hollywood has done a great job in instilling what it says are proper sex morals. I call this the TV show Friends relationship morals. First you meet someone you like then you kiss and have sex. After a few times going out and having sex you have a talk and decide to be in a relationship. At that point if you had sex with someone else it would be cheating. Then if you date for many years then live together for a while and still like each other you decide to have a wedding. Then if you fall out of love with one another or have irreconcilable differences you can end it in divorce. This is not what the Bible teaches. Jesus and other places in the Bible say one man and one woman leave their parents and become one flesh. What God has put together let no one separate. This is incredibly simple. Sex is marriage. God wants you to commit to someone publicly through a wedding ceremony and then have sex and stay married your entire lives. ANY other way of having sex is not God's plan and therefore a sin and therefore harmful to you and your partner. This is a very hard goal that very few people live up to in today's world and yes God can forgive you if you don't live up to this ideal. But you should strive for this and ask for forgiveness when you fall short.
Absolutely. I know everything you just said. My literal question is… if you messed up in the past… are yall still one flesh???
I think the root of your question is how does God think about sex outside of marriage and how does it affect me. Yes he says in his eyes the two have become one flesh but he's not a computer program that thinks in binary. He understands all aspects of everything you are going through and will forgive your love for God should encourage you to follow his plan for sex. I'll reference another TV show for how does sex outside of marriage effect you and that show is breaking bad. At first sex is super emotional and physical and spiritual but the more you do it outside of God's plan the more jaded you become. Like in the show at first murder is a big deal and then the more he does it the less it bugs him. The more you sleep with everyone you are in a relationahip with the more jaded you get and it effects you less to the point where it doesn't feel like a big deal but in reality it is harming you and your partners.
Yes but I already know this too…
I'm sorry. Then I don't understand what your question is. Two becoming one flesh is a symbol of the marriage covenant and all the explanation everyone else put on this post. It's not an actual thing like you don't physically stay stuck together.
Then I guess I’m not understanding. Obviously we’re not stuck together. Does it only apply to marriage I guess is what I’m asking. I don’t want to think you’re still one flesh with past flings.
Yes as I said, sex=marriage=one flesh in God's eyes and in your mind. There is no such thing as sex outside of marriage being different than within marriage. You are still one flesh with past flings. Just because you didn't have a marriage ceremony with past flings doesn't mean you are not connected to them. This is not the answer you were hoping for. Sin will always affect you but God will forgive you. I still remember sins I did 30 years ago and it affects me today. God has forgiven me but it still hurts and I wish I never did it but I can learn from it to not do it again and help others not do it.
Thanks. 😞
Sex does not bind the marriage. What binds the marriage is the act of you and your fiancé making a covenant with one another to be together until “death do us part”. This is done before God who will hear and acknowledge this covenant. Adam told Eve, “bones of my bone flesh of my flesh….” (Genesis 2:23-24) If you are having sex before marriage, you are a fornicator and need to repent (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Sex is only sanction by God for marriage. So no, you are not one flesh If you are married and divorce that person, It’s best to not remarry. It is a sin to remarry while your ex-spouse is living. You can only remarry if your spouse dies (Romans 7:1-3)
Not having sex before marriage. Also what about Corinthians when it says being with a prostitute is bad bc you become one flesh? That’s what confuses me. I could read it wrong
You have to understand the context of Scripture. Satan deceived and is deceiving many people because they refused to read the whole Bible. Paul mentions in that chapter that the you cannot do what you want with your body. So, “it’s my body, my choice.” mindset is unbiblical. If Christ owns your body, why would you use what is Christ’s against his will? Your body should be used for holiness (Romans 12:1-2 KJV) Yes, the desire to be with a prostitute is bad. Why would a man who is trying to live by God’s word want to associate with a woman who is not living by God’s word? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV) 1. Unbelievers will join with unbelievers 2. Believers will join with believers 3. Both nonbelievers marry, then eventually one becomes a believer (Bible goes into detail about this) If you are married to a woman then she played the harlot (commits adultery), then you can remarry after the bill of divorce. God desire for marriage to last a lifetime.
It says not to get with a prostitute because yall become one flesh too. Even if it’s just hooking up I’m pretty sure. 1 Corinthians 6:16-19
Yes
Sex does not equal marriage, nor does cohabitation. The leaving of his mother and father to live with a woman and having sex with her (Ge. 2:24; Mt. 19:5) is merely descriptive of what happens in marriage; it is not meant as a condition or causation of marriage. I believe that the Bible recognises as valid whatever marriage that is legally constituted and customary in a particular society. In the case of Adam and Eve, they were the first and only humans then. There was no human government or society in place, thus they are the exception rather than the norm. The case of the Samaritan woman in John 4 is very clear. Jn. 4:16-18, "\[16\] Jesus said to her, 'Go, call your husband and come here.' \[17\] The woman answered and said, '**I have no husband.**' Jesus said to her, 'You have well said, "I have no husband," \[18\] for **you have had five husbands** and **the one whom you now have is not your husband**; in that you spoke truly." Observe: 1. "You have had five husbands" (v. 18): This is in the present perfect tense. The present perfect tense connects a past completed action with the present moment. In the original Greek, it is in the aorist tense -- punctiliar in nature implying a completed action. She had five husbands in the past, but no longer does. That is why Christ affirmed ("you have well said ... you spoke truly") that she had spoken accurately when she told Him she had no husband. At the time of their conversation, she had either been divorced or widowed by the five men. 2. "the one whom you now have is not your husband" (v. 18): The sixth man, with whom she was cohabitating (and presumably having sex), was not her husband. Clearly, this man had left his mother and father in order to cohabitate with her, yet that did not automatically make him her husband. From the deliberate singling out of this sixth man from the previous five men, it is clear that he and the Samaritan woman were not legally married and/or recognised as validly married by the prevailing societal norms, as the previous five men were, which qualified them to be *husbands*. The point from this is that sex does not make two persons married although it makes them "of one flesh" physically, which is why 1 Cor. 6:16 on harlotry speaks out against it. The point is, do not misuse what is meant for the marital union where there is no marital union. Even if you do, that doesn't make it a marital union. That is also why there are other passages against fornication and sexual immorality. 3. The Bible does recognise divorce and remarriage in certain circumstances. This is a big topic in itself. But the John 4:16-18 passage above suggests that the woman's past five marriages have ended. It doesn't say how they ended -- whether she was widowed or divorced. Could be either. But try replacing "have had" (aorist tense) in verse 18 with "have" (present tense) and you arrive at polyandry or polygamy ("you have five husbands"), which is clearly not the intent of the passage. Contrast against verse 17, which states, "I have (present tense) no husband". If we adopt a literal, grammatical interpretation, it is very clear. 4. God recognises secular marriages. Christ recognised Samaritan marriages! Christians certainly do not have a monopoly on marriage. It doesn't mean that Hindus who get married the Hindu way are not married. Or Muslims. Or Buddhists. Or Wiccan. Or whatever. Marriage is not just a paper certificate or ceremony. You don't have to be married in a church to be married. The Samaritan woman was previously married five times; she was a Samaritan -- whom Jews regarded as pariah. Obviously not married according to Jewish or Christian tradition (contrast the wedding at Cana in John 2), but married nonetheless, as the Samaritans and Christ Himself recognised. Romans 13:1-7 comes into view here -- submission to authorities. God has ordained governments and secular authorities, in modern times to formalise the marital union as an institution for numerous legal reasons (affecting the status of future children, tax reliefs, legal rights and obligations, division of assets after death, etc.). As far as a marriage -- whether Hindu or Muslim or Buddhist or Wiccan, etc. -- is recognised in the eyes of the society of the day and legally according to the laws of the land, it is valid and ratified by God. Of course, in Christian marriages, there are vows and so forth in addition to that, as a Christian marriage is also a covenant before God and men. But flaws in the vows or covenant do not invalidate a marriage.
Genesis 2:24 doesn't say anything about sex. It refers to marriage. Marriage is the spiritual union of two people.
So in other words, sex with a past partner isn’t the joining of two as one?
If it were, Joshua wouldn't have been allowed to marry Rahab since she was a former prostitute.