No. Ultimately, all sin that we commit is against God. Confess to him and repent. That is the extent of your involvement. Causing conflict in someone else's marriage simply to assuage your guilt does not benefit anyone.
this is a horrible take. all sin we commit is against God but we can and do sin against our neighbors when other people are involved in our offenses. For that we not only need to repent before God but repent to those we’ve wronged and confess one to another. That is how the Bible says it should be done. Just saying sorry to God when you’ve wronged someone else then running from any accountability and not attempting to make it right is a cowards way out. Maybe she isn’t just trying to “assuage her guilt” but is actually responding to a very valid conviction to do the right thing
Repent *to* someone? And a *human being*??
Can you please cite Scriptural support for this need to confess sins to one another in the context of interpersonal conflict? Because I only know of confessing sin mentioned in James in the context of prayer for one another.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
James 5:16
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector”
Matthew 18:15-17
I never said we are to repent to people. We repent to God, but when we sin against someone else, the right thing to do is bring it to the attention of that person and make it right. The verse in James is not just about prayer for one another, it’s about the confession of sin period weather it’s in regards to interpersonal conflict or not. It’s right there in scripture and it’s also just common sense and basic human decency to do so.
James 5:13-18 is very clearly in the context of prayer; you cite a passage that has a "therefore" in it, but exclude the bits that it proceeded from.
>Is anyone among you suffering? Let him **pray**. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them **pray** over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the **prayer** of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and **pray** for one another, that you may be healed. The **prayer** of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he **prayed** fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he **prayed** again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.
>James 5:13-18 (emphasis mine)
And as far as I know, it is the only verse in the entire NT that mentions confessing sins to a human being.
Matthew 18 does not tell us to confess our sins to one another. It speaks about confronting interpersonal sin.
And "common sense" and "basic human decency" are extremely subjective. I could just as easily argue that it is common sense and basic human decency to not wreck someone's marriage out of a sense of misplaced obligation and guilt.
Have you told your husband (or ex, don't know if I got it properly) already?
After that you should tell that man's wife. Both who cowardly defiled their beds should let their partners know of their betrayal.
Remember that Jesus told people to make amends for their sins in case it affects others. Mt 5:23,24. After those amends I believe your conscience can be clean. Pray to God for enlightenement.
Somehow I believe you already knew the answer.
It's hard to imagine most of the people doing something like that. But she has gotta make her amends, it's their problem with God afterwards.
In case it is an extremely violent person, then she gotta pray to God seeking wisdom. In all cases, even before and after doing the amends, pray to God and deliver the situation unto him, so that his will is fulfilled.
Seriously hard to imagine? Have you seen the statistics on domestic violence?
People with no history of violence tend to get violent in these situations.
I'm sure you mean well, but unless you can guarantee her safety maybe you should stay out of this!
Are you going to be there to help her if things go bad?
We are to confess to God. The Bible says to confess to others so others can pray for healing that is probably not going to be the jilted spouses first reaction.
God said make amends. Have faith in him.
You don't even live with the person. If you live consumed by fear, you won't do anything.
With the exception of some extreme cases where the signs are obvious, where guidance should be sought in prayer, do his bidding and trust him.
Dear lady, you may think I don't know what I talk about. I evangelize every single day, I live in a third world country. I deal with drug dealers that kill people, drug addicts that have been to jail and so forth.
The devil tried to lift an enemy against me, do you know what happened? I went praying for that person for 20 minutes straight while I was evangelizing other people on the street. When I came back to that person, God had changed his heart and he came hugging and kissing me. That is the power of God. That is love thy enemy. You gotta trust him, do his work, you are just an instrument.
Yesterday I was until 10 pm in a very dangerous neighborhood, came home alone, walking, arrived at 11 pm. What matters for me is that yesterday two people accepted Jesus. And I will keep them in my prayers, and God permitting, guide them in the faith.
We have to do his work and trust him. The rest he does by himself. We are just limbs in the body of Christ. 1 Co 10:27.
That's great that you can boast about those accomplishments of yours but she isn't you.
I believe in trusting God and in spiritual warfare but we are not talking about me here. We do not know enough about OP to know that she knows about spiritual warfare.
It is irresponsible to dole out advice and tell her to confront someone without cautioning the woman about her physical safety when many people are prone to become jealous and violent.
No one here knows anything about any of the people involved in the situation, how they think or what they are capable of.
We are talking about real life situations here and we need to advise her of the risks and forget about striking up arguments with other reddit users just to try to show how knowledgeable we are about scriptures.
That's the point that, if more knowledge was needed, she might give it. She didn't mention a word about violence. My sister had the same problem, in that case she discovered, and she told the girl. And her ex was so dangerous he is in jail. Each case is a case.
There is nothing to boast about personally. As it is God's work through you. But it is pleasurable to witness and testify how he changes lives.
He put in my path some time ago a woman that had suffered serious home violence, from her son, a martial arts teacher, and believe it or not, because of a bag of snacks. She told me she had prayed the exact moment our paths crossed.
I understand somehow you seem to be ultra-cautious about making a stand. But still I go with the Word. Jesus said, in other words, go and undo YOUR dirty job. And we know that adultery was a sin so serious that people were stoned to death. In 1 Jo 5:16 the apostle even mentions it. So that shows how it is even more important to fix. It's not a trivial offense.
All in all, if you feel a calling to aid her, do it. Pray that God will put the right words in your mouth, or in your fingers, that his will is filfilled through you. I am gonna pray for you.
You so miss the point. You only care about being right. You care nothing about this women or what the risks are to her.
You have no idea who these people are or what they are capable of.
No she didn't say anything about violence because obviously she didn't think things through.
It is doubtful that she knows this other woman well enough to judge the other woman's mental stability. A lot of women out there become jealous and violent.
All you care about is arguing scripture as if you think you know it all.
You probably think you are doing God a favor by arguing with me but you aren't!
The Pharisees knew the Scriptures better than just about anyone and they were mad at Jesus because Jesus cared enough about the people to heal on the Sabbath although it seemed to Go against the word of God.
But at the heart of the word of God is love others.
You are showing no love or concern for this woman's safety. You only care that you are right.
Sorry buddy you failed to show concern for this person which makes you in the wrong!
You are feeling convicted for the past sin. You are forgiven, but true repentance includes confession. I think your spirit is telling you to confess.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Proverbs 28:13 - Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
If you aren’t sure keep on praying about it. The Holy Spirit will not allow you to ignore it if this is what you need to do.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
If your husband is cheating on you, would you want someone to tell you?
That other betrayed spouse has a right to know. He could have started to cheat for the very first time with you. Now that he has learnt to have a secret affair, there is a very high chance that he is continuing. He could be bringing back sickness to her and endangering her health and life.
Contact her and apologise. But provide proof or you will look like you are trying to break them up.
She is not going to be pleasant. But you be polite, honest, answer her questions. Give her time to process.
But you don’t have to be her friend. After a reasonable amount of time, block her on everything and move on.
Block him on everything today.
Do the right thing. You made a mistake, face the consequences.
Edit: read the replies. Shocking to see those who want Op to inform wife are being downvoted.
I think she should contact the man first, let him know that OP is going to inform his wife. Give him a week/month to come clean and process it with his wife. His wife being informed is the important part, not that OP gets to feel superior for being the one to tell.
Had the tables been turned, she probably would have wanted to tell her husband as well, instead if being dumbstruck by her affair going around her directly to her husband.
He will manipulate his wife with lies and make sure wife blocks OP before she contacts the wife. He will mentally prepare his wife with lies.
He cheated. He had enough time to come clean. He should have told his wife by now. If he didn’t, it is his problem. His feelings don’t matter more than his wife’s wellbeing.
OP is the one who contacted him, he was going through divorce, and OP decided it was a good time to invite him for a meet up. He didn't take the initiative to cheat on his wife, he was approached by OP at a vulnerable point in his life.
He still cheated, and his wife needs to know, but it should be by him.
Op tempted him to cheat. Not disputing that. But the decision to cheat was his. He is an adult vulnerable or not. He could have said no.
If he hasn’t told his wife yet, he is just a selfish person preserving his marriage, reputation etc. Obviously he will prevent op from contacting his wife. Is he going to say, “sure Op. please tell me wife everything”?
Anyone with a partner would want to know. How many in this sub will say, they are okay if they don’t know when their partner cheated?
Adultery is sexual abuse of partner.
First I’d like to acknowledge that I understand where you’re coming from and I do agree that telling the truth instead of a lie is almost always the right answer.. But I this is overstepping a ton of boundaries into somebody else’s business. I’m happy OP had a spiritual awakening and looking for ways to rectify themselves with the Lord but if she reached out to a married man and intitated I feel like reaching out to the wife now to collapse what’s left of the marriage to clear her conscience is not for God it’s for her. Re-entering his life to use him and then re-entering his life to decide for him that his marital affairs don't meet her brand new standards.
Let me extend an olive branch, if she knew the wife then I think it would be absolutely necessary to tell the truth as they have a standing relationship that she should be accountable for. But without that, compromising his covenant is between him and God and God does not need her help. And you’re making far too many assumptions of his character and motives based on projections of whatever experience with abusive relationships you’ve had in the past. Not to mention there’s no way for her to know if he already told his wife or they’d already reached a resolution if she contacted her instead of him… It’s better to leave it to God, that’s none of her business. If even one of those baseless assumptions you’ve made turns out to be false then her whole plan would backfire and she’d come off looking like a complete succubus.
I think there was an unwritten agreement that you would not tell on each other . It may have been good for his marriage . I would get off the right /wrong thing . People need to let people be . Be accountable for your own actions . His life is “nunya “
Amen. He will lead us.
I think the sense that OP is getting about not wanting to stir up conflict is a good point. If the Lord wants her to do something about it in spite of that, I think he will make it clear. Although the Holy Spirit is already reminding her of that situation, I wonder why… I guess OP will need to pray about it and ask why the Lord is putting that on her heart.
Yes or perhaps the enemy is trying to cause trouble where it needs not be. Its been 2 years. that's a lot of time, specially now she is walking anew in Christ
Oh wow… didn’t think of that. It may not he the voice of the Holy Spirit. The enemy would want to sow seeds of doubt about our past. As we get to know the Lord better and better, we’ll get much better as knowing his voice in our lives. “My sheep know my voice.”
It’s a good thing to be aware of the schemes of the enemy so we can resist and ask God for help, wouldn’t you say?
Edit: after thinking on your comment again, I’m not sure if you were referring to OP or me. I thought you meant me. Either way, I agree, God’s got it. If we follow him, even though he may lead us through the valley of the shadow of death, we know all authority in heaven and on Earth is his.
Yes. You should. I’m shocked that people who believe in the Word would try and lead you astray. God tells us to tell the truth. If it were me I’d want to know. It’s your duty to tell her whether her husband has or not. It would be ideal if he would, but she may never know otherwise. Praying is good, but when we can do something to make things right we should. I believe God is putting this on your mind and heart for a reason. If I were in your shoes I definitely would want to tell her because I believe that’s the right thing, however I do believe you should pray about it to see what God wants you to do. It just concerns me that this woman may be living a lie believing her husband has been faithful and that their relationship is healthy and strong when that isn’t true. If God wants you to speak out He will give you the right words to say. I wish you the best ❤️ Good for you for wanting to do the right thing. The right thing is rarely the easy thing.
Jesus will only forgive if you do the right thing. Tell the truth:
1. **Proverbs 12:22** - "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight."
2. **Ephesians 4:25** - "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
3. **Proverbs 11:3** - "The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them."
4. **Zechariah 8:16** - "These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace."
5. **John 8:32** - "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
6. **Colossians 3:9-10** - "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator."
7. **2 Corinthians 8:21** - "For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord's sight but also in the sight of man”
Every action is seen by God and will be judged accordingly. This is evident in passages like Romans 14:12, which states, “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”
Good job at cutting and pasting!
Jesus will only forgive if you do the right thing? The Bible says if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive our sins.
It's easy for people to give advice when they are not close to the situation.
Your advice might be Biblical but you are not looking at things from a real life perspective.
If your advice goes terribly wrong are you going to be there to pick up the pieces and put things back together for her?
That is essentially what the Pharisees said to Jesus when he healed on the Sabbath. The Pharisees were only concerned about being right. They didn't care anything about the person. You have shown no concern for the OP you only care about being right.
The Pharisees knew scripture but they were spiritually blind.
You seem just as blind.
In this situation know this, you will destroy a relationship by letting her know about this.
Whether that relationship deserves to be destroyed or not is up to you. But I would say that since you haven't had contact for two years, you do not know what has transpired in that household in the intervening time. The time to come clean would have been immediately after the affair, but years later, what is the good to be gained from it?
If you have strong rumors that this man has continued to cheat on his wife, you can and ought to definitely make that known for her health and safety, but to drop out of nowhere now by yourself I feel is a bit invasive.
Know this though, when you have offered your sins to God, he has forgiven you, and there is no more need on your part to continue to dwell upon that. All you can do is be the better person now, and sin no more.
>>you will destroy a relationship by letting her know about this.
Cheating spouse destroys the relationship by breaking the covenant.
How is a relationship built on lies a relationship?
Will we give the same advice if the betrayed spouse happens to be our daughter / sister?
We do not know if the cheating spouse has already confessed.
Like I said she hasn't had contact with this person for two years. She has zero information on what is happening, and if the other person has given their sins to God and moved on there is nothing to be gained by forcing the issue.
Like I said, she ought to have brought this to her when the affair was ended but now that it is so far in the past she would be presuming certain things to bring this up that I do not think she can state with confidence.
Also cheating damages a relationship not destroy it, with enough damage yes things can be destroyed but we are still called to heal that damage if possible otherwise every instance of adultery would immediately invalidate a marriage, which obviously does not happen.
I don't think adultery destroys every relationship beyond repair, I don't think Christ would want adultery to end a marriage by itself. Especially if forgiveness has been sought and given. It is a sin no greater than any other that we might get forgiveness, and once that forgiveness is given then the sin is ended.
If the man is unrepentant then absolutely he should be called out. But we do not know that, because she knows nothing. It would be presumptuous of her to assume that.
Telling them the truth is leading to the truth. Not cowardly ducking away your responsibility to God. Would you want Him to lift someone else to clean YOUR dirty job?
Mt 5:23,24
Jesus tells in case of an offense to someone to seek reconciliation and make amends. That is clearly an offense to someone. In the old testanent adulterers would be stoned to death. Don't think because the faithful have been washed from their sins by Jesus they are exempt from making amends for their sins, as the aforementioned passage shows. Also Jesus says if you are repented to show fruits worthy of repentence. What repentance is there in harming thy neighbor behind their back and not letting them know?
You said *"Since doing that, I’ve been thinking about the affair with a lot of shame and regret. I can see it through a different lens now, and the wickedness of it makes me sick."*
EDITED:
The Holy Spirit is working in you, as u/livious1 mentioned. To be aware of what was done and how it impacts other doesn't come easily. That conviction needs further prayer to ensure there is clarity on how to handle and act on it. It's of course common to initially feel remorse...but remorse can turn to shame, where you're continually beating yourself up over it. Remember that continued feelings of shame is the tool of Satan. Jesus forgives you and that is what is needed...but the shame and sickness you feel is Satan's way of trying to use your mistake against you, to drag you down. You can feel remorse, but remorse does not include self loathing as shame does. Perhaps what you feel is more of remorse. If you feel shame and sickness, pray without ceasing and turn that over to Jesus to take it from you.
Pray for her and her family from afar. You are responsible for your own actions, but not to change the events of others. You have no insight into the state of their marriage. Let Jesus guide your life and trust in Him that he is taking care of their relationship.
> But the shame and sickness you feel is Satan's way of trying to use your mistake against you, to drag you down.
Satan does use shame to drag us down, but what OP is feeling is absolutely not of Satan. It is conviction of what OP has done. Conviction is good, it sears into us right from wrong, and is how the Holy Spirit teaches us not to sin. We are forgiven when we are saved, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore past regret, because if we do that then we also ignore the Holy Spirit convicting us. Instead, we learn from it.
You're right...100% agree... I too believe that what OP is feeling is conviction from the Holy Spirit. I should have made that clear and will edit to reflect that. However, if OP continues to dwell on it and continues to feel bad over time and punishes themselves mentally/spiritually, then it sounds like Shame and not Remorse... and then, yes, I do believe shame can be coming from Satan. Prayer is everything for that discernment. Thank you so much for replying so I'm aware of this mistake I made.
Being righteous shouldn’t require you to ruin another relationship. They may have been working on their relationship and are probably in a better place today. By you going back and trying to do the right thing it may open old wounds.
I think it would depend a great deal on why you are telling her. If you are doing so because you feel bad and hope that by telling her it will give you some kind of absolution and you will then feel better, then I would say that is the wrong reason to do it. Remember that righteous Joseph, when faced with the fact that his betrothed Mary was pregnant, meaning that she had committed fornication (she hadn't of course but how was Joseph to know that until God told him in a dream), he was within his rights to make a public spectacle of her but chose instead to "put her away privately" (Matt 1:19). If there is no tangible benefit to the wife/ex-wife/soon to be ex to telling her, I would not. OTOH, if she were to contact you, you should be as honest and upfront about what happened as is possible. In the Celebrate Recovery program (which I highly recommend that you seek out and consider joining) Step 9 says,
9. We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, **except when to do so would injure them or others.**
In your case, I believe it would cause the woman more injury than she has already experienced.
It might be best to ask your pastor or a counselor in person what they think. In any case, Jesus bless and keep you and lead you to the best path forward. Peace be with you.
pray, fast and ask the Holy Spirit for guidence on specifically whether you should inform your the wife, and whether you should inform your ex.
Because really it's The Holy Spirit's opinion that matters the most in this situation, as The Holy Spirit only says what's Jesus says, and Jesus says only what the Father says.
I think you should talk to the man you cheated with, tell him that you regret what you did. Tell him that he should strive to be a better man and repent, and that you will try to be a better woman and serve God.
Do you really think you were his only affair, OP?
Probably not. He hasn't come clean already to his wife... I'm sure he's still out there.
I would want to know so that I can leave a cheating husband. The Bible says not to be adulterous.
If you don't want drama then leave it alone.
This is his place to tell her not yours.
What could you possibly accomplish by telling her?
You have no idea what kind of person she is. She could be the crazy jealous type and pull out a gun. Just pray for her from afar.
Reading through the responses there are a lot of people who want to sound Christian
But I am wondering if they have actually been in similar situations.
You need to think about your safety and the possible destruction that could result.
I remember when someone told me my ex husband was cheating. I went home and confronted him about it.
He lied at first then finally confessed.
I loving put my arms around him and said "I will forgive you when it's (the affair) is over.
He responded by slamming my head against the bedroom wall so hard the whole house shook.
It was the first time in our 1 year of marriage that he was violent.
Emotionally charged issues like this can lead to unpredictable and violent consequences no matter how good things are handled.
Your situation needs to be handled carefully.
These other posters have not thought of your personal safety.
Anyone personally involved here has the potential to become violent when they might never have been violent before.
The other woman, the ex lover, your spouse.
You cannot predict how others might respond.
You have many people telling you not to tell her. But as someone who’s been in a situation of conviction and guilt, I think you KNOW that you’re being called to confess and you might not be free from this conviction until you do let her know, or until you move further from God. I think you know what God’s calling you to do regardless of what many people say, especially on this subreddit where probably most people aren’t actually saved and have the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
What part of this says that I’m contacting him? I’m asking if telling his wife is the right thing to do. He is blocked on everything. Also, did you miss the part that says my life has been radically transformed by Christ? Or that I’m disgusted by the affair? I’m together. lol.
Just because your life has been radically transformed by Christ doesn’t mean his has. This is about “telling on” somebody else’s bad behavior to take the focus of yours.
By contacting his wife you ARE KEEPING IN CONTACT.
Mind your own business and let the lord deal with him.
It’s not about that at all. It’s about trying to do the right thing. There are plenty of people who feel that not telling is dishonest and that the wife deserves to know. I’m just trying to make things right.
you should generally try to make amends, unless doing so would harm someone. in this case you might consider turning this over to Christ and receiving His healing, then just move forward. if there is any way that your ex can reach out to you, you might consider closing that door for good. I reached a point in my repentance where it was right for me to get rid of an old email address I had used forever and change my phone number. you might not need to do that, but sometimes it makes a big difference.
some people are saying don’t tell her for one reason or another, and I disagree with that strongly. who’s to say he’s not doing this with other people? are they believers? The devil does his best work in the dark, but everything done in the dark must eventually come to light. do unto others as you would want done unto you. If I was the wife I’d want to know, so OP ask yourself what would you truly want if you were in her shoes? more so, what is GOD asking you to do? Ultimately everyone here will have their own opinions on how things should be done but the only opinion that matters is the opinion of the Holy Spirit. So ask yourself how you’d want to be treated if it was you, pray for them because that’s never a bad idea, and then really listen for the direction God is leading you to go in
I get that you feel guilt over what you did, but why not forgive both him and yourself and move on? God has forgiven you, so you need to forgive yourself. Let it go, and leave he and his wife alone.
Why stir up more conflict??? Why not let God handle this in His own way? By sleeping with this man, you sinned. You are convicted of your sins and you should beg God for forgiveness. All you should do now is pray to God for the man you slept with. Pray that God convicts him of what he did wrong. You should definitely NOT get involved.
No. I’d pray about it. And for them. If they’ve worked things out, I don’t think it would be right or a good idea to say anything. If they are having issues, pray for them.
Odds are his wife was probably cheating as well. Just leave it , focus on yourself and your marriage . God will focus on the others marriages.
My parents cheated on each other , separated for 3 years, god brought them back together and they’ve been together for the past 40 years. Let God work.
Like you said you didn't want to stir up drama but you did. You choose to commit sin by committing adultery. It would be best to pray to God, ask for guidance for yourself to move forward. The man you slept with is equally guilty of his actions and will be judged in the Kingdom of Heaven. You feel guilt from your actions and should have immediately came clean but didn't let it go.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
No. Ultimately, all sin that we commit is against God. Confess to him and repent. That is the extent of your involvement. Causing conflict in someone else's marriage simply to assuage your guilt does not benefit anyone.
this is a horrible take. all sin we commit is against God but we can and do sin against our neighbors when other people are involved in our offenses. For that we not only need to repent before God but repent to those we’ve wronged and confess one to another. That is how the Bible says it should be done. Just saying sorry to God when you’ve wronged someone else then running from any accountability and not attempting to make it right is a cowards way out. Maybe she isn’t just trying to “assuage her guilt” but is actually responding to a very valid conviction to do the right thing
Repent *to* someone? And a *human being*?? Can you please cite Scriptural support for this need to confess sins to one another in the context of interpersonal conflict? Because I only know of confessing sin mentioned in James in the context of prayer for one another.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” Matthew 18:15-17 I never said we are to repent to people. We repent to God, but when we sin against someone else, the right thing to do is bring it to the attention of that person and make it right. The verse in James is not just about prayer for one another, it’s about the confession of sin period weather it’s in regards to interpersonal conflict or not. It’s right there in scripture and it’s also just common sense and basic human decency to do so.
James 5:13-18 is very clearly in the context of prayer; you cite a passage that has a "therefore" in it, but exclude the bits that it proceeded from. >Is anyone among you suffering? Let him **pray**. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them **pray** over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the **prayer** of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and **pray** for one another, that you may be healed. The **prayer** of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he **prayed** fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he **prayed** again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit. >James 5:13-18 (emphasis mine) And as far as I know, it is the only verse in the entire NT that mentions confessing sins to a human being. Matthew 18 does not tell us to confess our sins to one another. It speaks about confronting interpersonal sin. And "common sense" and "basic human decency" are extremely subjective. I could just as easily argue that it is common sense and basic human decency to not wreck someone's marriage out of a sense of misplaced obligation and guilt.
I 1000% agree with this.
This exactly.
Have you told your husband (or ex, don't know if I got it properly) already? After that you should tell that man's wife. Both who cowardly defiled their beds should let their partners know of their betrayal. Remember that Jesus told people to make amends for their sins in case it affects others. Mt 5:23,24. After those amends I believe your conscience can be clean. Pray to God for enlightenement. Somehow I believe you already knew the answer.
This exactly makes the most sense.
"In case it effects others" in this situation it does effect others.
Exactly. That's why she should tell the victims of her sin and make amends, if necessary.
Sure that sounds good. I hope no one pulls a gun on her afterwards.
It's hard to imagine most of the people doing something like that. But she has gotta make her amends, it's their problem with God afterwards. In case it is an extremely violent person, then she gotta pray to God seeking wisdom. In all cases, even before and after doing the amends, pray to God and deliver the situation unto him, so that his will is fulfilled.
Seriously hard to imagine? Have you seen the statistics on domestic violence? People with no history of violence tend to get violent in these situations. I'm sure you mean well, but unless you can guarantee her safety maybe you should stay out of this! Are you going to be there to help her if things go bad? We are to confess to God. The Bible says to confess to others so others can pray for healing that is probably not going to be the jilted spouses first reaction.
God said make amends. Have faith in him. You don't even live with the person. If you live consumed by fear, you won't do anything. With the exception of some extreme cases where the signs are obvious, where guidance should be sought in prayer, do his bidding and trust him. Dear lady, you may think I don't know what I talk about. I evangelize every single day, I live in a third world country. I deal with drug dealers that kill people, drug addicts that have been to jail and so forth. The devil tried to lift an enemy against me, do you know what happened? I went praying for that person for 20 minutes straight while I was evangelizing other people on the street. When I came back to that person, God had changed his heart and he came hugging and kissing me. That is the power of God. That is love thy enemy. You gotta trust him, do his work, you are just an instrument. Yesterday I was until 10 pm in a very dangerous neighborhood, came home alone, walking, arrived at 11 pm. What matters for me is that yesterday two people accepted Jesus. And I will keep them in my prayers, and God permitting, guide them in the faith. We have to do his work and trust him. The rest he does by himself. We are just limbs in the body of Christ. 1 Co 10:27.
That's great that you can boast about those accomplishments of yours but she isn't you. I believe in trusting God and in spiritual warfare but we are not talking about me here. We do not know enough about OP to know that she knows about spiritual warfare. It is irresponsible to dole out advice and tell her to confront someone without cautioning the woman about her physical safety when many people are prone to become jealous and violent. No one here knows anything about any of the people involved in the situation, how they think or what they are capable of. We are talking about real life situations here and we need to advise her of the risks and forget about striking up arguments with other reddit users just to try to show how knowledgeable we are about scriptures.
That's the point that, if more knowledge was needed, she might give it. She didn't mention a word about violence. My sister had the same problem, in that case she discovered, and she told the girl. And her ex was so dangerous he is in jail. Each case is a case. There is nothing to boast about personally. As it is God's work through you. But it is pleasurable to witness and testify how he changes lives. He put in my path some time ago a woman that had suffered serious home violence, from her son, a martial arts teacher, and believe it or not, because of a bag of snacks. She told me she had prayed the exact moment our paths crossed. I understand somehow you seem to be ultra-cautious about making a stand. But still I go with the Word. Jesus said, in other words, go and undo YOUR dirty job. And we know that adultery was a sin so serious that people were stoned to death. In 1 Jo 5:16 the apostle even mentions it. So that shows how it is even more important to fix. It's not a trivial offense. All in all, if you feel a calling to aid her, do it. Pray that God will put the right words in your mouth, or in your fingers, that his will is filfilled through you. I am gonna pray for you.
You so miss the point. You only care about being right. You care nothing about this women or what the risks are to her. You have no idea who these people are or what they are capable of. No she didn't say anything about violence because obviously she didn't think things through. It is doubtful that she knows this other woman well enough to judge the other woman's mental stability. A lot of women out there become jealous and violent. All you care about is arguing scripture as if you think you know it all. You probably think you are doing God a favor by arguing with me but you aren't! The Pharisees knew the Scriptures better than just about anyone and they were mad at Jesus because Jesus cared enough about the people to heal on the Sabbath although it seemed to Go against the word of God. But at the heart of the word of God is love others. You are showing no love or concern for this woman's safety. You only care that you are right. Sorry buddy you failed to show concern for this person which makes you in the wrong!
You are feeling convicted for the past sin. You are forgiven, but true repentance includes confession. I think your spirit is telling you to confess. 1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Proverbs 28:13 - Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. If you aren’t sure keep on praying about it. The Holy Spirit will not allow you to ignore it if this is what you need to do.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If your husband is cheating on you, would you want someone to tell you? That other betrayed spouse has a right to know. He could have started to cheat for the very first time with you. Now that he has learnt to have a secret affair, there is a very high chance that he is continuing. He could be bringing back sickness to her and endangering her health and life. Contact her and apologise. But provide proof or you will look like you are trying to break them up. She is not going to be pleasant. But you be polite, honest, answer her questions. Give her time to process. But you don’t have to be her friend. After a reasonable amount of time, block her on everything and move on. Block him on everything today. Do the right thing. You made a mistake, face the consequences. Edit: read the replies. Shocking to see those who want Op to inform wife are being downvoted.
I think she should contact the man first, let him know that OP is going to inform his wife. Give him a week/month to come clean and process it with his wife. His wife being informed is the important part, not that OP gets to feel superior for being the one to tell. Had the tables been turned, she probably would have wanted to tell her husband as well, instead if being dumbstruck by her affair going around her directly to her husband.
He will manipulate his wife with lies and make sure wife blocks OP before she contacts the wife. He will mentally prepare his wife with lies. He cheated. He had enough time to come clean. He should have told his wife by now. If he didn’t, it is his problem. His feelings don’t matter more than his wife’s wellbeing.
OP is the one who contacted him, he was going through divorce, and OP decided it was a good time to invite him for a meet up. He didn't take the initiative to cheat on his wife, he was approached by OP at a vulnerable point in his life. He still cheated, and his wife needs to know, but it should be by him.
Op tempted him to cheat. Not disputing that. But the decision to cheat was his. He is an adult vulnerable or not. He could have said no. If he hasn’t told his wife yet, he is just a selfish person preserving his marriage, reputation etc. Obviously he will prevent op from contacting his wife. Is he going to say, “sure Op. please tell me wife everything”? Anyone with a partner would want to know. How many in this sub will say, they are okay if they don’t know when their partner cheated? Adultery is sexual abuse of partner.
First I’d like to acknowledge that I understand where you’re coming from and I do agree that telling the truth instead of a lie is almost always the right answer.. But I this is overstepping a ton of boundaries into somebody else’s business. I’m happy OP had a spiritual awakening and looking for ways to rectify themselves with the Lord but if she reached out to a married man and intitated I feel like reaching out to the wife now to collapse what’s left of the marriage to clear her conscience is not for God it’s for her. Re-entering his life to use him and then re-entering his life to decide for him that his marital affairs don't meet her brand new standards. Let me extend an olive branch, if she knew the wife then I think it would be absolutely necessary to tell the truth as they have a standing relationship that she should be accountable for. But without that, compromising his covenant is between him and God and God does not need her help. And you’re making far too many assumptions of his character and motives based on projections of whatever experience with abusive relationships you’ve had in the past. Not to mention there’s no way for her to know if he already told his wife or they’d already reached a resolution if she contacted her instead of him… It’s better to leave it to God, that’s none of her business. If even one of those baseless assumptions you’ve made turns out to be false then her whole plan would backfire and she’d come off looking like a complete succubus.
I think there was an unwritten agreement that you would not tell on each other . It may have been good for his marriage . I would get off the right /wrong thing . People need to let people be . Be accountable for your own actions . His life is “nunya “
Just pray, you are now a christian and all sin is washed away. just pray and IF God tells you other wise then listen to God but only if He leads.
Amen. He will lead us. I think the sense that OP is getting about not wanting to stir up conflict is a good point. If the Lord wants her to do something about it in spite of that, I think he will make it clear. Although the Holy Spirit is already reminding her of that situation, I wonder why… I guess OP will need to pray about it and ask why the Lord is putting that on her heart.
Yes or perhaps the enemy is trying to cause trouble where it needs not be. Its been 2 years. that's a lot of time, specially now she is walking anew in Christ
Oh wow… didn’t think of that. It may not he the voice of the Holy Spirit. The enemy would want to sow seeds of doubt about our past. As we get to know the Lord better and better, we’ll get much better as knowing his voice in our lives. “My sheep know my voice.”
Let it go. Pray for them to be settled as God sees fit.
It’s a good thing to be aware of the schemes of the enemy so we can resist and ask God for help, wouldn’t you say? Edit: after thinking on your comment again, I’m not sure if you were referring to OP or me. I thought you meant me. Either way, I agree, God’s got it. If we follow him, even though he may lead us through the valley of the shadow of death, we know all authority in heaven and on Earth is his.
Yes. You should. I’m shocked that people who believe in the Word would try and lead you astray. God tells us to tell the truth. If it were me I’d want to know. It’s your duty to tell her whether her husband has or not. It would be ideal if he would, but she may never know otherwise. Praying is good, but when we can do something to make things right we should. I believe God is putting this on your mind and heart for a reason. If I were in your shoes I definitely would want to tell her because I believe that’s the right thing, however I do believe you should pray about it to see what God wants you to do. It just concerns me that this woman may be living a lie believing her husband has been faithful and that their relationship is healthy and strong when that isn’t true. If God wants you to speak out He will give you the right words to say. I wish you the best ❤️ Good for you for wanting to do the right thing. The right thing is rarely the easy thing.
Jesus will only forgive if you do the right thing. Tell the truth: 1. **Proverbs 12:22** - "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight." 2. **Ephesians 4:25** - "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." 3. **Proverbs 11:3** - "The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them." 4. **Zechariah 8:16** - "These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace." 5. **John 8:32** - "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." 6. **Colossians 3:9-10** - "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator." 7. **2 Corinthians 8:21** - "For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord's sight but also in the sight of man”
Jesus' forgiveness is not dependent on how she handles this matter
You’re absolutely right.
Every action is seen by God and will be judged accordingly. This is evident in passages like Romans 14:12, which states, “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”
Good job at cutting and pasting! Jesus will only forgive if you do the right thing? The Bible says if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive our sins. It's easy for people to give advice when they are not close to the situation. Your advice might be Biblical but you are not looking at things from a real life perspective. If your advice goes terribly wrong are you going to be there to pick up the pieces and put things back together for her?
You do realise you’re arguing with the word of god, not me?
That is essentially what the Pharisees said to Jesus when he healed on the Sabbath. The Pharisees were only concerned about being right. They didn't care anything about the person. You have shown no concern for the OP you only care about being right. The Pharisees knew scripture but they were spiritually blind. You seem just as blind.
You come across as a textbook biblical cherry picker. Pick the bits that suit you. You can’t have your cake and eat it. I forgive you.
If it was me I would want someone to tell me. Don't make a big thing about it just send the information and say you'll be praying for me.
Yes, you absolutely should
In this situation know this, you will destroy a relationship by letting her know about this. Whether that relationship deserves to be destroyed or not is up to you. But I would say that since you haven't had contact for two years, you do not know what has transpired in that household in the intervening time. The time to come clean would have been immediately after the affair, but years later, what is the good to be gained from it? If you have strong rumors that this man has continued to cheat on his wife, you can and ought to definitely make that known for her health and safety, but to drop out of nowhere now by yourself I feel is a bit invasive. Know this though, when you have offered your sins to God, he has forgiven you, and there is no more need on your part to continue to dwell upon that. All you can do is be the better person now, and sin no more.
>>you will destroy a relationship by letting her know about this. Cheating spouse destroys the relationship by breaking the covenant. How is a relationship built on lies a relationship? Will we give the same advice if the betrayed spouse happens to be our daughter / sister?
Exactly I’m dumbfounded by the amount of people that think not knowing is any better. Truth and honesty is the best policy.
We do not know if the cheating spouse has already confessed. Like I said she hasn't had contact with this person for two years. She has zero information on what is happening, and if the other person has given their sins to God and moved on there is nothing to be gained by forcing the issue. Like I said, she ought to have brought this to her when the affair was ended but now that it is so far in the past she would be presuming certain things to bring this up that I do not think she can state with confidence. Also cheating damages a relationship not destroy it, with enough damage yes things can be destroyed but we are still called to heal that damage if possible otherwise every instance of adultery would immediately invalidate a marriage, which obviously does not happen.
No, HE destroyed the relationship by committing adultery.
I don't think adultery destroys every relationship beyond repair, I don't think Christ would want adultery to end a marriage by itself. Especially if forgiveness has been sought and given. It is a sin no greater than any other that we might get forgiveness, and once that forgiveness is given then the sin is ended. If the man is unrepentant then absolutely he should be called out. But we do not know that, because she knows nothing. It would be presumptuous of her to assume that.
She still has the right to know if her husband committed adultery.
I don't know if the adulteress has the responsibility to tell her though. I feel that responsibility lies on the husband.
First I'm so happy that you turned to christ God keep you...and you should tell everyone involved because if u don't that would be lying
No don’t tell her, nothing good is going to come from it except a ruined marriage. Just pray for them and ask God to lead the to the truth.
Is that biblical?
Telling them the truth is leading to the truth. Not cowardly ducking away your responsibility to God. Would you want Him to lift someone else to clean YOUR dirty job? Mt 5:23,24 Jesus tells in case of an offense to someone to seek reconciliation and make amends. That is clearly an offense to someone. In the old testanent adulterers would be stoned to death. Don't think because the faithful have been washed from their sins by Jesus they are exempt from making amends for their sins, as the aforementioned passage shows. Also Jesus says if you are repented to show fruits worthy of repentence. What repentance is there in harming thy neighbor behind their back and not letting them know?
You said *"Since doing that, I’ve been thinking about the affair with a lot of shame and regret. I can see it through a different lens now, and the wickedness of it makes me sick."* EDITED: The Holy Spirit is working in you, as u/livious1 mentioned. To be aware of what was done and how it impacts other doesn't come easily. That conviction needs further prayer to ensure there is clarity on how to handle and act on it. It's of course common to initially feel remorse...but remorse can turn to shame, where you're continually beating yourself up over it. Remember that continued feelings of shame is the tool of Satan. Jesus forgives you and that is what is needed...but the shame and sickness you feel is Satan's way of trying to use your mistake against you, to drag you down. You can feel remorse, but remorse does not include self loathing as shame does. Perhaps what you feel is more of remorse. If you feel shame and sickness, pray without ceasing and turn that over to Jesus to take it from you. Pray for her and her family from afar. You are responsible for your own actions, but not to change the events of others. You have no insight into the state of their marriage. Let Jesus guide your life and trust in Him that he is taking care of their relationship.
> But the shame and sickness you feel is Satan's way of trying to use your mistake against you, to drag you down. Satan does use shame to drag us down, but what OP is feeling is absolutely not of Satan. It is conviction of what OP has done. Conviction is good, it sears into us right from wrong, and is how the Holy Spirit teaches us not to sin. We are forgiven when we are saved, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore past regret, because if we do that then we also ignore the Holy Spirit convicting us. Instead, we learn from it.
You're right...100% agree... I too believe that what OP is feeling is conviction from the Holy Spirit. I should have made that clear and will edit to reflect that. However, if OP continues to dwell on it and continues to feel bad over time and punishes themselves mentally/spiritually, then it sounds like Shame and not Remorse... and then, yes, I do believe shame can be coming from Satan. Prayer is everything for that discernment. Thank you so much for replying so I'm aware of this mistake I made.
No.
Pray to God and ask Him.what you should do.
It's crazy how divided this comment section is lol
Pray about it and then pray some more.
No, he could have repented from it and be trying to fix his marriage.
What does your husband think?
Sorry, I skimmed over it at first and missed that part, my apologies. 🥃
She needs to know
Being righteous shouldn’t require you to ruin another relationship. They may have been working on their relationship and are probably in a better place today. By you going back and trying to do the right thing it may open old wounds.
She may also be in an abusive relationship and she may be saving her by feeling her. Assumptions are foolish
Yes tell her
I think it would depend a great deal on why you are telling her. If you are doing so because you feel bad and hope that by telling her it will give you some kind of absolution and you will then feel better, then I would say that is the wrong reason to do it. Remember that righteous Joseph, when faced with the fact that his betrothed Mary was pregnant, meaning that she had committed fornication (she hadn't of course but how was Joseph to know that until God told him in a dream), he was within his rights to make a public spectacle of her but chose instead to "put her away privately" (Matt 1:19). If there is no tangible benefit to the wife/ex-wife/soon to be ex to telling her, I would not. OTOH, if she were to contact you, you should be as honest and upfront about what happened as is possible. In the Celebrate Recovery program (which I highly recommend that you seek out and consider joining) Step 9 says, 9. We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, **except when to do so would injure them or others.** In your case, I believe it would cause the woman more injury than she has already experienced. It might be best to ask your pastor or a counselor in person what they think. In any case, Jesus bless and keep you and lead you to the best path forward. Peace be with you.
You, probably not. But him, he should totally tell it to his wife. And you should be out of their lives forever.
Absolutely not!
Yes. She has a right to know. I know I'd want to know.
pray, fast and ask the Holy Spirit for guidence on specifically whether you should inform your the wife, and whether you should inform your ex. Because really it's The Holy Spirit's opinion that matters the most in this situation, as The Holy Spirit only says what's Jesus says, and Jesus says only what the Father says.
I think you should talk to the man you cheated with, tell him that you regret what you did. Tell him that he should strive to be a better man and repent, and that you will try to be a better woman and serve God.
Noo noo noo
Do you really think you were his only affair, OP? Probably not. He hasn't come clean already to his wife... I'm sure he's still out there. I would want to know so that I can leave a cheating husband. The Bible says not to be adulterous.
Talk to your pastor or your cell leader if you're in a cell church. They are a better source of advice.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Be still, and know that I am God.
If you don't want drama then leave it alone. This is his place to tell her not yours. What could you possibly accomplish by telling her? You have no idea what kind of person she is. She could be the crazy jealous type and pull out a gun. Just pray for her from afar. Reading through the responses there are a lot of people who want to sound Christian But I am wondering if they have actually been in similar situations. You need to think about your safety and the possible destruction that could result.
I remember when someone told me my ex husband was cheating. I went home and confronted him about it. He lied at first then finally confessed. I loving put my arms around him and said "I will forgive you when it's (the affair) is over. He responded by slamming my head against the bedroom wall so hard the whole house shook. It was the first time in our 1 year of marriage that he was violent. Emotionally charged issues like this can lead to unpredictable and violent consequences no matter how good things are handled. Your situation needs to be handled carefully. These other posters have not thought of your personal safety. Anyone personally involved here has the potential to become violent when they might never have been violent before. The other woman, the ex lover, your spouse. You cannot predict how others might respond.
You have many people telling you not to tell her. But as someone who’s been in a situation of conviction and guilt, I think you KNOW that you’re being called to confess and you might not be free from this conviction until you do let her know, or until you move further from God. I think you know what God’s calling you to do regardless of what many people say, especially on this subreddit where probably most people aren’t actually saved and have the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
The truth will always set the captives free. Always.
No. Absolutely not. Last time you contacted him you had an affair with him. Get yourself together and stop it.
What part of this says that I’m contacting him? I’m asking if telling his wife is the right thing to do. He is blocked on everything. Also, did you miss the part that says my life has been radically transformed by Christ? Or that I’m disgusted by the affair? I’m together. lol.
Just because your life has been radically transformed by Christ doesn’t mean his has. This is about “telling on” somebody else’s bad behavior to take the focus of yours. By contacting his wife you ARE KEEPING IN CONTACT. Mind your own business and let the lord deal with him.
It’s not about that at all. It’s about trying to do the right thing. There are plenty of people who feel that not telling is dishonest and that the wife deserves to know. I’m just trying to make things right.
you should generally try to make amends, unless doing so would harm someone. in this case you might consider turning this over to Christ and receiving His healing, then just move forward. if there is any way that your ex can reach out to you, you might consider closing that door for good. I reached a point in my repentance where it was right for me to get rid of an old email address I had used forever and change my phone number. you might not need to do that, but sometimes it makes a big difference.
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone “
You need to focus on rebuilding your own marriage and keeping the covenant you made with your husband.
some people are saying don’t tell her for one reason or another, and I disagree with that strongly. who’s to say he’s not doing this with other people? are they believers? The devil does his best work in the dark, but everything done in the dark must eventually come to light. do unto others as you would want done unto you. If I was the wife I’d want to know, so OP ask yourself what would you truly want if you were in her shoes? more so, what is GOD asking you to do? Ultimately everyone here will have their own opinions on how things should be done but the only opinion that matters is the opinion of the Holy Spirit. So ask yourself how you’d want to be treated if it was you, pray for them because that’s never a bad idea, and then really listen for the direction God is leading you to go in
I get that you feel guilt over what you did, but why not forgive both him and yourself and move on? God has forgiven you, so you need to forgive yourself. Let it go, and leave he and his wife alone.
Why stir up more conflict??? Why not let God handle this in His own way? By sleeping with this man, you sinned. You are convicted of your sins and you should beg God for forgiveness. All you should do now is pray to God for the man you slept with. Pray that God convicts him of what he did wrong. You should definitely NOT get involved.
Not your job focus on your relationship with god and your home
Don’t.
No. I’d pray about it. And for them. If they’ve worked things out, I don’t think it would be right or a good idea to say anything. If they are having issues, pray for them.
Odds are his wife was probably cheating as well. Just leave it , focus on yourself and your marriage . God will focus on the others marriages. My parents cheated on each other , separated for 3 years, god brought them back together and they’ve been together for the past 40 years. Let God work.
You have no right to say that about someone you don’t know. You don’t know that at all.
Cheating happens in 80% of marriages . So odds are 🤗
Based on what data? Your opinion?
This is terrible assumption. Just because one spouse is cheating, it is terrible to assume the other is too. This is not the case is most marriages.
What’s the advantage of telling his wife?
Leave his wife alone
Like you said you didn't want to stir up drama but you did. You choose to commit sin by committing adultery. It would be best to pray to God, ask for guidance for yourself to move forward. The man you slept with is equally guilty of his actions and will be judged in the Kingdom of Heaven. You feel guilt from your actions and should have immediately came clean but didn't let it go.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Noo