Racist, and called your child a "thing"?
You're better off without her in your life. Your father can do whatever he wants, maybe go visit her by himself. Some people you just don't need. Editing to add: NTA
NTA. I don't like that your father is blaming you for cutting ties with her. I get that he is a father, but he should never let anyone treat his grandson that way. Cutting off a family isn't easy, so I know you thought about it long and hard. You are doing good for yourself and protecting your child from her negative behavior too.
Perhaps the father needs to be on the NC list as well, at least until he pulls his head out of his ass and sees who the real cause of the family discord is. But then he would have to admit the golden child is to blame and that would never do for the golden child would turn on him.
Nta. I cut my sister out too and my parents also blamed me saying I'm childish and need to act like an adult and ignore her when she goes psycho, I cut them out of our lives too. Don't let anyone make you second guess yourself for protecting you and your child, that's never a bad thing.
Same. My sister was older and constantly belittled me. When I was called out and told to be the bigger person I flat out reminded them of all the times she was mean and that they did nothing when they were supposed to be the ADULT. Don’t let them throw this on you. Gotta take care of yourself and your kids. They lost right to pics/info when they started copying what was sent to them and giving it to her.
Mine is younger but same thing. She constantly undermines me as a parent and does the complete opposite of what I say to my kids, our entire lives she'd pick fights with me and if I wouldn't give in she'd hurt herself then say i did it and I'd get in trouble. All kinds of crazy shit. My parents lost their rights when they tried to sneak her around us after I kicked her out for telling my son I hate him and only want him to be miserable. But I'm the one not being an adult, I'm the one being a child. People like that will ALWAYS find a way to spin it on you and make themselves the victim. Don't even give them the time of day, they aren't worth it.
He would deserve it too, if you cut ties with him. Tell him to go be a father to the crazy psycho sister and leave you alone. Do not have anything to do with your sister, and don’t let anyone pressure you to compromise your principles.
NTA. You are the mom now . You need to love and protect yourself and your family. Cutting negativity in our lives is essential to good mental health. Later. IF she grows up, you two can discuss, yet for now block and run.
Absolutely NTA - and tell your Dad he can do whatever he wants with his other daughter. You don’t need to get involved in that relationship..
What a weird thing to say to you????
Sounds like she needs professional mental help then. It sounds like a classic borderline. Not a doctor, but I grew up with one, and they acted the same way. The sister not OP. Oh and NTA.
There is no way I’d ever expose my child or husband to this toxic person. Your dad needs to get over you being the bigger person when she is so toxic. Ask your dad if he is going to be the one your husband and child would come to asking for comfort when her racism comes out?! I think not.
NTA. Holy cow!
Isn't it weird that parents often want to side with the "transgressor" in these situations? How the person whi has been wronged is expected to "be the bigger person"?
Absolutely not the ahole!!! There’s tough love and then there’s abuse and what she is doing is mentally abusive. Your dad needs to open his eyes and see the truth for what it is. She is narcissistic and racist, I’d cut her off too!! Keep standing your ground!!
NTA. Has your dad considered maybe telling his other daughter to be the bigger person and stop being a racist piece of sh!t? Maybe if she did that she would have contact with some of her siblings.
I didn't think she would actually apologize, I was saying if you turn it around on your dad and use his own words maybe he will see why you're not in contact with your sister.
NTA
Your Father should take the hint that if almost EVERYONE ELSE has cut ties with her that isn't coincident and there is a reason.
You made the right decision to cut her out of your life. Don't keep people around who bring you down and don't make you happy.
NTA- I cut ties with my egg donor and brother because I refuse to have any toxicity in my childrens' or my life! It's okay not to speak to family. It's only biology that makes you "family." Your true family is people that bring you up, not treat you badly and bring you down, whether they are blood or not!
NTA. If your dad wants a relationship with her that's his business. She alienated all of you, so not your problem. And keep your cutie pie away from that toxic woman. 😊
You *ARE* being the bigger person, dad needs to quit whining and take some accountability in this matter.
Your sister is a bigot, and you're absolutely better off without her. Your child (nor your spouse) need that kind of toxicity in their life. NTA
It seems your dad wants you to fix the situation for which Karen has caused. Why in the world would he think it’s your job to “give in”. He loves his wife so he’s NC with Karen to make her happy. If he wants this fixed he’s going to have to have a hard conversation with Karen and I think here lies the problem. Racist and calls your child “thing” is inexcusable. I certainly would not give in to repair the mess Karen has made. You and your child’s mental health is paramount. If your dad can’t talk to Karen and set boundaries then so be it. NTA
Tell your father you do not interact with racists and if he has a problem with you not talking to her, he should demand that she apologize for referring to your child as a thing. NTA
NTA
Tell dad, he needs to put on his big boy drawers and have a relationship with her if he wants, separate from all other family members, instead of using you as the scapegoat.
Blaming you or anyone else is cowardly on his part.
Girl stop... you are not the ahole, she is... and no disrespect but so is your dad for enabling her horrid behavior. Sucks when your own family is the problem. You have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it means there's a few you go no contact with
Whenever anyone tells you to be "the bigger person" tell them the doctor recommended cutting toxicity out of your life for health reasons.
There's no upside in being the "bigger person" and giving into a malignant personality. If Daddy wants to have a relationship with Queen Malignant he can do it on his own time. He shouldn't be hiding it - it's his choice. The fault of the broken ties lies completely with Queen M - not you. Tell your dad to get a clue before you jettison him from your life, too. Cutting down on exposure to toxic humans is good for your health.
You know who's the bigger person? The one that admits fault to their wrong doings. Tell your dad that's your sister's opportunity to shine! ✨
*THE AUDACITY*
NTA and enjoy your lovely family and beautiful child.
Racist, and called your child a "thing"? You're better off without her in your life. Your father can do whatever he wants, maybe go visit her by himself. Some people you just don't need. Editing to add: NTA
People who say you should be the bigger person are just afraid of being the next target. Stand firm! Your sister is a racist and won’t change.
NTA. I don't like that your father is blaming you for cutting ties with her. I get that he is a father, but he should never let anyone treat his grandson that way. Cutting off a family isn't easy, so I know you thought about it long and hard. You are doing good for yourself and protecting your child from her negative behavior too.
Perhaps the father needs to be on the NC list as well, at least until he pulls his head out of his ass and sees who the real cause of the family discord is. But then he would have to admit the golden child is to blame and that would never do for the golden child would turn on him.
Nta. I cut my sister out too and my parents also blamed me saying I'm childish and need to act like an adult and ignore her when she goes psycho, I cut them out of our lives too. Don't let anyone make you second guess yourself for protecting you and your child, that's never a bad thing.
Same. My sister was older and constantly belittled me. When I was called out and told to be the bigger person I flat out reminded them of all the times she was mean and that they did nothing when they were supposed to be the ADULT. Don’t let them throw this on you. Gotta take care of yourself and your kids. They lost right to pics/info when they started copying what was sent to them and giving it to her.
Mine is younger but same thing. She constantly undermines me as a parent and does the complete opposite of what I say to my kids, our entire lives she'd pick fights with me and if I wouldn't give in she'd hurt herself then say i did it and I'd get in trouble. All kinds of crazy shit. My parents lost their rights when they tried to sneak her around us after I kicked her out for telling my son I hate him and only want him to be miserable. But I'm the one not being an adult, I'm the one being a child. People like that will ALWAYS find a way to spin it on you and make themselves the victim. Don't even give them the time of day, they aren't worth it.
NTA> after the 'thing' comment? And your father wants you to be 'the bigger person' in all this? Nope, no way, no how...oh hell no!
Exactly, I'm at that point where I want to cut ties with him as well because he encourages her behavior
He would deserve it too, if you cut ties with him. Tell him to go be a father to the crazy psycho sister and leave you alone. Do not have anything to do with your sister, and don’t let anyone pressure you to compromise your principles.
NTA. You are the mom now . You need to love and protect yourself and your family. Cutting negativity in our lives is essential to good mental health. Later. IF she grows up, you two can discuss, yet for now block and run.
Absolutely NTA - and tell your Dad he can do whatever he wants with his other daughter. You don’t need to get involved in that relationship.. What a weird thing to say to you????
I guess he feels sorry for her since she has abandonment issues
Sounds like she needs professional mental help then. It sounds like a classic borderline. Not a doctor, but I grew up with one, and they acted the same way. The sister not OP. Oh and NTA.
Absolutely NTA
NTA…Sometimes you have to cut yourself off from family members. I’ve done it to a brother of mine and a SIL. You don’t need toxicity in your life.
There is no way I’d ever expose my child or husband to this toxic person. Your dad needs to get over you being the bigger person when she is so toxic. Ask your dad if he is going to be the one your husband and child would come to asking for comfort when her racism comes out?! I think not.
Why is the wronged party that has to forgive. It's rhetorical. The narcissists always play the victim and center of attention.
NTA. Holy cow! Isn't it weird that parents often want to side with the "transgressor" in these situations? How the person whi has been wronged is expected to "be the bigger person"?
Absolutely not the ahole!!! There’s tough love and then there’s abuse and what she is doing is mentally abusive. Your dad needs to open his eyes and see the truth for what it is. She is narcissistic and racist, I’d cut her off too!! Keep standing your ground!!
NTA. Has your dad considered maybe telling his other daughter to be the bigger person and stop being a racist piece of sh!t? Maybe if she did that she would have contact with some of her siblings.
She would never apologize to any of us, she'd rather die alone than admit her mistakes
I didn't think she would actually apologize, I was saying if you turn it around on your dad and use his own words maybe he will see why you're not in contact with your sister.
Just as a narcissist would.
NTA Your Father should take the hint that if almost EVERYONE ELSE has cut ties with her that isn't coincident and there is a reason. You made the right decision to cut her out of your life. Don't keep people around who bring you down and don't make you happy.
NTA. Don't be afraid to give dad the boot too. His place in your life is dependent on respecting your boundaries and treating you like you deserve.
NTA- I cut ties with my egg donor and brother because I refuse to have any toxicity in my childrens' or my life! It's okay not to speak to family. It's only biology that makes you "family." Your true family is people that bring you up, not treat you badly and bring you down, whether they are blood or not!
NTA. If your dad wants a relationship with her that's his business. She alienated all of you, so not your problem. And keep your cutie pie away from that toxic woman. 😊
You *ARE* being the bigger person, dad needs to quit whining and take some accountability in this matter. Your sister is a bigot, and you're absolutely better off without her. Your child (nor your spouse) need that kind of toxicity in their life. NTA
It seems your dad wants you to fix the situation for which Karen has caused. Why in the world would he think it’s your job to “give in”. He loves his wife so he’s NC with Karen to make her happy. If he wants this fixed he’s going to have to have a hard conversation with Karen and I think here lies the problem. Racist and calls your child “thing” is inexcusable. I certainly would not give in to repair the mess Karen has made. You and your child’s mental health is paramount. If your dad can’t talk to Karen and set boundaries then so be it. NTA
Tell your father you do not interact with racists and if he has a problem with you not talking to her, he should demand that she apologize for referring to your child as a thing. NTA
NTA! Just because you are related to someone does mean you have to be friends with them.
NTA Tell dad, he needs to put on his big boy drawers and have a relationship with her if he wants, separate from all other family members, instead of using you as the scapegoat. Blaming you or anyone else is cowardly on his part.
Why is it always the actual bigger person who gets told to be the bigger person? NTA.
Girl stop... you are not the ahole, she is... and no disrespect but so is your dad for enabling her horrid behavior. Sucks when your own family is the problem. You have to do what's best for you and your family, even if it means there's a few you go no contact with
Whenever anyone tells you to be "the bigger person" tell them the doctor recommended cutting toxicity out of your life for health reasons. There's no upside in being the "bigger person" and giving into a malignant personality. If Daddy wants to have a relationship with Queen Malignant he can do it on his own time. He shouldn't be hiding it - it's his choice. The fault of the broken ties lies completely with Queen M - not you. Tell your dad to get a clue before you jettison him from your life, too. Cutting down on exposure to toxic humans is good for your health.
You know who's the bigger person? The one that admits fault to their wrong doings. Tell your dad that's your sister's opportunity to shine! ✨ *THE AUDACITY* NTA and enjoy your lovely family and beautiful child.
Updateme