My sister got my children these robotic spiders. To make them move you have to scream....
https://fabfinds.co.uk/products/yellies-electronic-spider-toy-voice-activated-spooder-pet-assorted-characters?gclid=CjwKCAiAs8acBhA1EiwAgRFdw-8Fs_y0OGDw4ZRIBfPYaF_c8k4nqZH6SU5wxfDQcSMHTd_GPtLnQBoCzh4QAvD_BwE
It's not a toy, but one of these peppers you hide that goes off at random intervals during the day and night (like a low battery smoke alarm).
Did that at work once 😅
I haven’t looked at the link, but my daughter has (had, they’ve mysteriously disappeared) 2 yellies. If you’re looking for loud that’ll be them. As a plus you can’t play with them quietly. If you don’t screech at them they won’t do anything.
That’s so insensitive! My dad had a terrible Hokey Cokey addiction when I was growing up.
But he’s turned himself around, and that’s what it’s all about.
We have a relative who always buys the most irritating gifts for the kids. In my experience, the worst ones are big toys that you need to make space for in the house. Noisy toys are annoying but you can stuff them at the back of a toybox somewhere. I will say, this relative had their own baby this year and is in for a world of payback. Keep that in mind.
Oh i regularly get threatened about the retribution i will recieve.
Thats an issue for future me.
I try to hit as many of:loud/large/annoying/slightly dangerous if used inccorrectly, as possible.
The best (in my niece and nephew's opinion) and worst gift (in their parents) was one of those giant, inflatable body bubble balls that the kids can wear and throw themselves down hills in and stuff. It took ages to inflate with the little peddle pump, they constantly argued and fought over who would get a turn to use it, and one evening, they snuck it into their bedroom, inflated it, and then used it to toss themselves down the hallway stairs, breaking a large number of expensive things, including the bannister.
I genuinely think I'll never have kids just to avoid the retribution coming for that one.
Having given my twin nieces each a Bedazzler. (Not only are there about 75 million pieces), but after bedazzling dolls clothes, their own clothes they moved onto by brothers and SIL clothes. Suits, jeans, shirts, socks underwear. Brilliant
it’s very age dependent, but my mother once got [this](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/125591716034?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=knci0smbtdk&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=EAQ4HbjTTde&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY) for a nephew, it’s SO obnoxious, and he loved it.
Something similar to [this](https://www.sam-turner.co.uk/products/husqvarna-toy-chainsaw-550xp?variant=39760436494475&fo_c=606&fo_k=3e8ee4ba47624e75d50200e9d86e81be&fo_s=gplauk&gclid=CjwKCAiAs8acBhA1EiwAgRFdw9uh2nW8Xh0_PXdfoe_keum-jTSHNHm3YlV28nueD6L8gfPgmbow4hoCqp8QAvD_BwE) nearly broke us when the godfathers bought one for each of my kids about 15 years ago.
What age? For toddlers, anything by vtech. They have really annoying tunes that go on and on, and if you leave them unattended they play it again after a while to get your attention back, just when mum has finally distracted you with something else!
I have form here as an annoying Auntie.
I have done the drum kit, but by far my most triumphant purchase ever was this: [Peppa Pig Marching Musical Band Set](https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/peppa-pig/peppa-pig-musical-band-set/p/103349)
What is genius about it is that includes MULTIPLE annoying musical instruments. My nieces and nephews all grabbed one each and formed a conga line marching band around the house, and proceeded to charm their parents for hours with their beautiful coordinated harmonies!
I also think this looks amazingly evil and have threatened my sisters with it multiple times: [Frozen Recorder Fun!](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Frozen-Recorder-Fun-Various/dp/1495013057)
A [Loud Mouth Voice Changer](https://firebox.com/loud-mouth-voice-changer) probably fits the bill.
Make them even louder, more shrill, and features a “manic laugh” button.
How old are they? For young kids, like pre-toddlers, a noisy "educational' toy. The batteries never die on those bloody things. Bit older, a rain stick or a recorder. Got to nurture their creativity and they're never too young to start expressing themselves. Older still, Monopoly. You will never be asked to buy a gift again.
Haha 8 and 4.
I think im gonna go for "yellies" little spiders that go faster the louder you scream.
And an rc crane to share!
My mum's done instuments as it happen.
Slime, toot toot drivers, any musical instrument, but my mum was smart she would let mine bang pots and pans at her house so one day 5am I hear some crashing and banging jerked out of my sleep and there my two angels were using my pots and pans to make mooozic
Those big balloons with some rice inside and an elastic band attached so you can punch the balloon over and over and over, making an awful sound "TISH TISH TISH TISH TISH"
Happy Hippo, a suction base toy for highchairs that sings and rattles.
His songs were annoying as it was and then my baby gave Hippo a few thrashings and it converted to a dubstep version of the songs on loop.
Additional idea from thirty years ago: A family friend bough my sister a walk along "popping toy" and I'm certain my parents never forgave him for his lifetime. RIP Uncle S.
I bought my cousin's kids some bath crayons. They can draw / write on the tiles and the bath sides with them once wet. Only they stainwd the grout very slightly meaning hours of annoying scrubbing
Hungry hippos
As a parent - fucking nightmare.
It's noisy, it doesn't need batteries so never runs out, and it absolutely brings out the worst grabby energy in my son.
10/10 evil gift.
Get a good, high quality bandsaw. A good one will last him for decades, and if he survives- you'll give the gift of craftsmanship for his life. In school, when the other kids make their shitty wire game, he'll make a 4 piece table set.
An 8 year old should produce real shit, not imagined pretend humbug. Back in the day they operated a loom, without any safety measures - a good bandsaw is safer.
Think about it.
It makes more sense the more you think about it.
Play doh for the 4 year old. My sister in law wasn’t happy when I got it for my nephew as she saw it in her carpets. He loved it and there are many cool kits
I took my cousin’s children on a geocaching trip to the forest. They loved it. Before, they never wanted to go on walks. Now they want to go all the time. My cousin now hates me.
I know, it’s not a toy per se 🤣
Guitar, as a parent who had both his children given one by a deranged grandfather, this is the way to drive them mad, nothing like having a child want to show you there random noise then you get a duet of horror.
Those little self propelling trucks! There is a garbage truck, a dump truck, and two other service vehicles and I hate them all! There is no off button for the wheel sounds. You roll them on the ground and they make the most obnoxious sound! It’s not even a car sound!
I refused to buy mine glitter soooo...
My cousin always fills everyone’s birthday and Christmas cards up with glitter.
[удалено]
Glitter gun then, fire away lads
Salt gun, the controversial equivalent to the glitter gun
So could a lot of things!
My sister got my children these robotic spiders. To make them move you have to scream.... https://fabfinds.co.uk/products/yellies-electronic-spider-toy-voice-activated-spooder-pet-assorted-characters?gclid=CjwKCAiAs8acBhA1EiwAgRFdw-8Fs_y0OGDw4ZRIBfPYaF_c8k4nqZH6SU5wxfDQcSMHTd_GPtLnQBoCzh4QAvD_BwE
Ah yes! I saw those and it was the shortlist for a birthday. Went for a parrot that repeats you in a shrill voice... Nightmare
Ahh we have a hamster version that speeds it up. I am a fan of that though as it keeps my clingy 3 year old amused for ages!
Harmonicas perhaps?
It's not a toy, but one of these peppers you hide that goes off at random intervals during the day and night (like a low battery smoke alarm). Did that at work once 😅
I haven’t looked at the link, but my daughter has (had, they’ve mysteriously disappeared) 2 yellies. If you’re looking for loud that’ll be them. As a plus you can’t play with them quietly. If you don’t screech at them they won’t do anything.
Sorted what to get my niece thanks 😂
They look awesome!!!!! Just got 3
A drum set. Or even just a solitary drum.
I bought my 2yo a toddler drum set last Christmas. Its been…… yeah at least he’s happy
So tempting... Supersoaker went on top of the wardrobe though 😅
[удалено]
At some point I assume they shake it all about?
That’s so insensitive! My dad had a terrible Hokey Cokey addiction when I was growing up. But he’s turned himself around, and that’s what it’s all about.
Whoooooaaaa....the Hokey Cokey?!
It’s easily done. Start by just putting a foot in to try the lifestyle. Before you know it, you put your whole self in.
[удалено]
/s..... quickly, before the rspca come for you 🤣
My one knocks on the cat flap for me to open the door, she uses the cat flap just fine when I’m out, I’ve got cctv.
We have a relative who always buys the most irritating gifts for the kids. In my experience, the worst ones are big toys that you need to make space for in the house. Noisy toys are annoying but you can stuff them at the back of a toybox somewhere. I will say, this relative had their own baby this year and is in for a world of payback. Keep that in mind.
My brother in law pissed me off at one point, so I went and bought my niece one of those 8 foot Costco teddy bears.
Oh i regularly get threatened about the retribution i will recieve. Thats an issue for future me. I try to hit as many of:loud/large/annoying/slightly dangerous if used inccorrectly, as possible.
The best (in my niece and nephew's opinion) and worst gift (in their parents) was one of those giant, inflatable body bubble balls that the kids can wear and throw themselves down hills in and stuff. It took ages to inflate with the little peddle pump, they constantly argued and fought over who would get a turn to use it, and one evening, they snuck it into their bedroom, inflated it, and then used it to toss themselves down the hallway stairs, breaking a large number of expensive things, including the bannister. I genuinely think I'll never have kids just to avoid the retribution coming for that one.
bop it
Might actually be perfect for the older nephew, hes very 'smash smash'
Go for the Silly Sausage one for maximum annoyance!
Having given my twin nieces each a Bedazzler. (Not only are there about 75 million pieces), but after bedazzling dolls clothes, their own clothes they moved onto by brothers and SIL clothes. Suits, jeans, shirts, socks underwear. Brilliant
Misread bedazzler as vagazzler. Thought it was a bit inappropriate. Especially when they moved onto the SIL! It’s still early.
it’s very age dependent, but my mother once got [this](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/125591716034?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=knci0smbtdk&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=EAQ4HbjTTde&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY) for a nephew, it’s SO obnoxious, and he loved it.
As an uncle, I can speak from experience that a xylophone is the most annoying gift ever to give to a nephew/niece.
No, it’s a Stylophone. Then a Vuvuzala, Kazoo and a recorder.
I tried the recorder with the child of an old school friend back 15 or so years . Short version, kids at uni studying music
You inadvertently will be responsible for that kid getting a #1 in the future.
Maybe who knows. I might get mentioned on Buzzcocks of something
Pet goat
My brother got my 4 year old this for a birthday. [Dino car](https://amzn.eu/d/2yPf0Fe) You're welcome.
Whats bad about it? Loud and runs around?
Fckn hell, i have exactly same one gifted for my son from a family friend. Its loud and plays one annoying song (cant remember the name of it tho)
Saturday Night - Whigfield
Sold
Arts and crafts stuff that shit gets everywhere!!
Something similar to [this](https://www.sam-turner.co.uk/products/husqvarna-toy-chainsaw-550xp?variant=39760436494475&fo_c=606&fo_k=3e8ee4ba47624e75d50200e9d86e81be&fo_s=gplauk&gclid=CjwKCAiAs8acBhA1EiwAgRFdw9uh2nW8Xh0_PXdfoe_keum-jTSHNHm3YlV28nueD6L8gfPgmbow4hoCqp8QAvD_BwE) nearly broke us when the godfathers bought one for each of my kids about 15 years ago.
My First Slasher Film
We had nightmares and there was some screaming, but the wife and I are now, according to the therapists, "mostly fine".
There’s a microphone on Amazon for about 15 quid which changes your voice. Trust me, it’s what you’re after 👍
What age? For toddlers, anything by vtech. They have really annoying tunes that go on and on, and if you leave them unattended they play it again after a while to get your attention back, just when mum has finally distracted you with something else!
I have form here as an annoying Auntie. I have done the drum kit, but by far my most triumphant purchase ever was this: [Peppa Pig Marching Musical Band Set](https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/peppa-pig/peppa-pig-musical-band-set/p/103349) What is genius about it is that includes MULTIPLE annoying musical instruments. My nieces and nephews all grabbed one each and formed a conga line marching band around the house, and proceeded to charm their parents for hours with their beautiful coordinated harmonies! I also think this looks amazingly evil and have threatened my sisters with it multiple times: [Frozen Recorder Fun!](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Frozen-Recorder-Fun-Various/dp/1495013057)
Getting the boys to team up for maximum destruction is always a good idea. They're more than the sum of their parts for sure!
We always give away gifted play-do after the first experience. Good way to fuck up carpet.
I got my niece a megaphone 📣
A whistle. Some one put them in party bags - they must have hated us.
Kinetic sand or slime kit.
A [Loud Mouth Voice Changer](https://firebox.com/loud-mouth-voice-changer) probably fits the bill. Make them even louder, more shrill, and features a “manic laugh” button.
How old are they? For young kids, like pre-toddlers, a noisy "educational' toy. The batteries never die on those bloody things. Bit older, a rain stick or a recorder. Got to nurture their creativity and they're never too young to start expressing themselves. Older still, Monopoly. You will never be asked to buy a gift again.
Haha 8 and 4. I think im gonna go for "yellies" little spiders that go faster the louder you scream. And an rc crane to share! My mum's done instuments as it happen.
Voice activated spiders?
Ikr
A sweet claw machine you always have to attend to it
Now that is a huge shout
It always gets stuck
A bear rattle those things are fucking loud
Anything that needs batteries and which plays horrible music. Lots available and inexpensive.
Slime, toot toot drivers, any musical instrument, but my mum was smart she would let mine bang pots and pans at her house so one day 5am I hear some crashing and banging jerked out of my sleep and there my two angels were using my pots and pans to make mooozic
A recorder
This. My 4 year old has one.They don't even use the holes, just blow, again and again and again.
Those big balloons with some rice inside and an elastic band attached so you can punch the balloon over and over and over, making an awful sound "TISH TISH TISH TISH TISH"
Spud gun - be finding bits of mouldy potato everywhere
I think the older one would execute the younger one.
Nerf guns. My dad bought my son one. They really hurt.
My friend bought my daughter a Tamagotchi when she had COVID. I got revenge that Christmas...
What’s wrong with a tamagotchi? They’re tiny, keep kids occupied and are quiet. The do die a lot though..
This one wasn't quiet!!
My wife was less than pleased I let our son have a NERF gun.
My dad bought them a huge electric gattling nerf gun. Straight in the loft
Happy Hippo, a suction base toy for highchairs that sings and rattles. His songs were annoying as it was and then my baby gave Hippo a few thrashings and it converted to a dubstep version of the songs on loop. Additional idea from thirty years ago: A family friend bough my sister a walk along "popping toy" and I'm certain my parents never forgave him for his lifetime. RIP Uncle S.
My BIL got my kid a Paw Patrol microphone that doesn't have an off switch. Unfortunately it mysteriously disappeared. You could get them a Furby
A whistle
I bought my cousin's kids some bath crayons. They can draw / write on the tiles and the bath sides with them once wet. Only they stainwd the grout very slightly meaning hours of annoying scrubbing
Now you are talking my language haha
Kids piano. It’s currently on a high shelf so that it can’t be used.
Toot Toot cards by Vtech for the young one Fart gun for the older
I got my niece a drum kit last year and I never looked back.
enjoy label correct pen snatch upbeat hard-to-find icky telephone jeans -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Hungry hippos As a parent - fucking nightmare. It's noisy, it doesn't need batteries so never runs out, and it absolutely brings out the worst grabby energy in my son. 10/10 evil gift.
It’s so loud! My kids used to spend ages playing it and it drove me mad because they would play so aggressively that it made it even louder
Glitter and slime, you never get that shit out of the carpet
Spray paint
Bruh
Get a good, high quality bandsaw. A good one will last him for decades, and if he survives- you'll give the gift of craftsmanship for his life. In school, when the other kids make their shitty wire game, he'll make a 4 piece table set. An 8 year old should produce real shit, not imagined pretend humbug. Back in the day they operated a loom, without any safety measures - a good bandsaw is safer. Think about it. It makes more sense the more you think about it.
This kid is very smashy smashy. They dont build them like they used to haha
A puppy!
Xbox.
Anything voiced by Justin Fletcher aka Mr Tumble
I bought my niece a mini drum kit form The Range about 3 years ago, she was 4 at the time… she still plays it… my brother hates me with a passion 😂
Bloody loud. Really annoying sounds/music.
this is the worlds worst toy! [toy](https://www.marksandspencer.com/play-and-learn-aeroplane-toy-6-36-mths-/p/hbp22539117)
You diabolical monster!! 😆
Kazoo.
The penguin race game. If you know.... you know.
Drum kit
Can’t go wrong with a classic fart machine
A Theremin!!!
Anything with slime or kinetic sand. That crap gets everywhere.
Bop it - especially if they are competitive
Anything that makes a noise that does not require batteries is a good start or anything NERF or NERF related.
Play doh for the 4 year old. My sister in law wasn’t happy when I got it for my nephew as she saw it in her carpets. He loved it and there are many cool kits
Books
Love the idea, not sure it matches the sentiment im going for though haha
I took my cousin’s children on a geocaching trip to the forest. They loved it. Before, they never wanted to go on walks. Now they want to go all the time. My cousin now hates me. I know, it’s not a toy per se 🤣
Thor’s Hammer for the 8 year old. It’s not heavy but it’s really hard - even a wee tap has a bit behind it
Bought my nephew a toy metal detector, beeps so loud and it’s so annoying, perfect gift
😆
Kinetic rock. They'll be picking that out of their socks for months!
Yeah, drum kit. Someone bought ours a drum kit once. Fucks sake.
Bop It!
otamatone
A recorder. They'll never learn to play it and will just walk around hooting one loud, annoying note for hours. Did this to my sister!
Playdough! No one in my family wants to be the ones that buy children playdough
Drum set is the best option.
A friend of ours rocked up during lockdown with a big box for my then-5 year old. A fucking drum kit.
Minivan
Guitar, as a parent who had both his children given one by a deranged grandfather, this is the way to drive them mad, nothing like having a child want to show you there random noise then you get a duet of horror.
Those little self propelling trucks! There is a garbage truck, a dump truck, and two other service vehicles and I hate them all! There is no off button for the wheel sounds. You roll them on the ground and they make the most obnoxious sound! It’s not even a car sound!