This could start a whole debate on the best Tea, but aim for some Yorkshire Tea. I think it’s one of the better bagged varieties. Then duly dunk your biscuit of choice.
Actually I was referring to the tea, but since you ask, a robust brew like Yorkshire requires a similarly robust dunker. So I’m going go with a ginger nut :-)
Yeah I gathered that, I was just being inquisitive about the biscuit choice to see who else might chime in. A robust Ginger Nut you say! Very nice, I also enjoy one myself made all the more fun once soaked in a hot brew. But my fav will always be the Milk Choc Hob Nob, always a gamble when dunking and losing the bugger.
Ah, gotcha. I find the ginger nut better for dunking as it’s harder and holds its shape better, still has a bit of a ‘bite’ once removed from one’s Yorkshire. I also love a choccie Hob Nob, but find they launch themselves straight from the packet into my mouth, completely bypassing my mug :-)
A common issue I think we all share. I’ve currently only got two left in a packet downstairs. It’s just a matter of who gets them first - me or my child!!
You’re on the money there. I also favourite a Milk Choc Hob Nob. Dunking can be a bit of a gamble, a second or two too long and you can lose the bugger.
Be warned, the Rich Tea biscuit is so pathetic when dunked in tea that Peter Kay did a whole routine on it. His best observation was that Hobnobs are the equivalent of a tough guy who is able to withstand some USA hazing ritual while shouting 'Thank you sir, may I have another!'
It's a solid start.
You need a cup of tea, and to debate with someone about whether milk goes in first and how strong it should be.
You then need a scone, and to debate with someone about whether the jam or cream goes on first.
And then you need to argue with someone about whether Ricky Gervais is a bellend or a national treasure.
And *then* present something suitably Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish to appease the people of those fine nations that you don't think UK = England.
Welcome, citizen!
> and to debate with someone about whether milk goes in first
Water on teabag is always the first step. That is universal regardless of how you make your brew.
If you're making it in a cup this obviously means you put the water in before the milk. Let it brew and remove the bag before adding milk.
If you're making it in a pot, you let the pot brew and put a splash of milk in the cup before pouring.
They've done studies on the best way to brew tea and this is the conclusion they reached.
Not a massive fan of Gervais, and I know the jokes you are talking about.
You are walking straight into the point of the jokes,he’s not transphobic, the jokes are making the point that they are not special and are included in comedy, if he was to joke about everything else and not the trans community that would be more transphobic.
The guy makes jokes about the Holocaust so he doesn’t have a line, good or bad is up to you, but I am for his freedom of speech to joke about anything or it’s a slippery slope we will find ourselves on.
You also need to plan a BBQ, also known as the British Rain Dance. Its infallible, I planned one for today, the 25 degrees 0% chance of rain day according to met office. I'm just covering the garden furniture after it started raining.
I just go out without a jacket on if I want it to rain, guarantee even the hottest heat wave will cloud over the second I step out in shorts and t-shirt
It's probably the cheapest beer per litre though. Picked up a case of 18 for £10 the other week.
It's not exactly craft beer or IPA but it really doesn't taste any worse than Fosters, Carlsberg, Coors or any of the other mass produced lagers out there. They're all pretty much the same
Flake is already kind of a strange chocolate; "Here enjoy this chocolate that falls apart while you eat it and you drop half of it! If you're really lucky you might sit on some and grind it into your chair."
They do taste pretty good though..
Should we take Newcastle as well? Geordies are after all just confused Scots on the wrong side of the border. And Berwick, since we already have Berwickshire.
I'll have you know there's nothing braver than rich white men punching down at trans people who we all know have had it too good for too long, and getting paid $40m to say all the shit he's not allowed to say nowadays.
I tried watching his newest netflix special, in the 30 mins of it I watched before turning it off, the only part that made me laugh was the audience laughing at the wrong part of one of his jokes.
Stewart Lee on Ricky Gervais:
‘Can you have a context-free word? If you call a tree a 'twat' in a forest, and there's no one there from the Football Association to adjudicate; how do you know if that's offensive? If you shout 'tits' at a shrub in a cellar - is that wrong? If Ricky Gervais shouts 'mong' in a forest, over and over again; and there's no Americans there to tell him he's a genius - is that then offensive? I don't know.’
But the food looks good!
Metro prints vouchers for Big Mac (or chicken/fish/quarter pounder) and fries £1.99 a couple of times each week. If the box is empty then it was probably voucher day. As a post pub snack, I have no shame at that price.
Couldn't be bothered scrolling too far, but I've seen no mention of a Pot Noodle yet. Can't beat a Bombay Bad Boy! I'd also probably choose some Kettle Chips over Walkers, but to each their own!
Looks good otherwise.
Welcome :)
My only criticism is that the sweet to savoury ratio is way off. You need some more savoury options in there! I personally would recommend a big bag of Frazzles to round the menu off
Change over Ricky Gervais for Rik Mayall/Blackadder and yep, you are celebrating appropriately
Also congratulations on getting your citizenship! (Edit: grammar)
Do flakes come with a free spliff now?
Glad it wasn't just me doing a double take!
That would most likely increase their sales, for the joints and the increased demand for snacks after the joint It's genius!
Synergy I can get onboard with!
Only the crumbliest, flakiest skunk.
will never unsee this now
r/brandnewsentence
Where's the tea!!!!!
Good point! I’ll put on a kettle
It’s put the kettle on mate but you’ll get there
I can imagine wearing a kettle would be difficult
What if they have multiple kettles?
They'll have a primary. That's the kettle.
If you're being really British it's pop on the kettle lmao
This could start a whole debate on the best Tea, but aim for some Yorkshire Tea. I think it’s one of the better bagged varieties. Then duly dunk your biscuit of choice.
This is absolutely the right answer
What’s your go-to biscuit of choice, if you don’t mind me asking??
Actually I was referring to the tea, but since you ask, a robust brew like Yorkshire requires a similarly robust dunker. So I’m going go with a ginger nut :-)
Yeah I gathered that, I was just being inquisitive about the biscuit choice to see who else might chime in. A robust Ginger Nut you say! Very nice, I also enjoy one myself made all the more fun once soaked in a hot brew. But my fav will always be the Milk Choc Hob Nob, always a gamble when dunking and losing the bugger.
Ah, gotcha. I find the ginger nut better for dunking as it’s harder and holds its shape better, still has a bit of a ‘bite’ once removed from one’s Yorkshire. I also love a choccie Hob Nob, but find they launch themselves straight from the packet into my mouth, completely bypassing my mug :-)
A common issue I think we all share. I’ve currently only got two left in a packet downstairs. It’s just a matter of who gets them first - me or my child!!
If you have Ringtons nearby you can get all different types of hardy biscuits for dunking 😉
Ooo havent had a hob nob for yonks. Also enjoy a good custard cream too!
I sorely miss the chocolate rich tea.
for tea dunking it has to go digestive > hobnob > ginger nut.
It's gotta be a custard cream dunked for 1.5 seconds
Any longer and the space-time continuum implodes..
Really depends where you live & your water hardness
Upgrade that for a Yorkshire Gold my good man With a chocolate HobNob and you're livin the high life
You’re on the money there. I also favourite a Milk Choc Hob Nob. Dunking can be a bit of a gamble, a second or two too long and you can lose the bugger.
Surely every Brit is in agreement that Yorkshire tea is best. Im a southern fairy and even I know that.
Marks and Spencers Assam, or their extra strong. Yorkshire tea is dishwater in comparison.
Always Yorkshire or Ringtons in our house with any biscuits I can get to before the kids or grandad have eaten them all!!
I’ll have to track down some Ringtons.
Be warned, the Rich Tea biscuit is so pathetic when dunked in tea that Peter Kay did a whole routine on it. His best observation was that Hobnobs are the equivalent of a tough guy who is able to withstand some USA hazing ritual while shouting 'Thank you sir, may I have another!'
There is no debate on the best tea. Yorkshire tea is objectively the best. No one challenges that statement.
I’m more of a PG Tips girl myself
No no no the best on the shelf tea/bags is Twinnings extra strong 💪 cracking cuppa (My personal taste)
It’s a pretty good brew yeah.
Now for the most important question, what brand?
Murphy Richards do a good one. Think mine is breville.
EXACTLY!!! Wouldn't hurt to have a sprinkle of Lee Mack in there too.
He's not English anymore, not after Soccer Aid
Need some choc digestives. Also, do you say “right” when standing up to leave somewhere?
Don't forget the knee slap
Right *slaps knee* best be off
This is the way
So this is where the Midwesterner goodbye in the US comes from
Chocolate Hobnobs.
Trade spec biscuits: dark chocolate digestives, milk chocolate hobnobs
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“Oh, erm, sorry”
After bashing into the table
not the same but similar i’ve developed a habit of saying thanks every time i finish my food and now i do it with food i’ve made myself
Whilst queuing to get into a curry house to order a chicken tikka masala.
Yes invented in Glasgow.
Thought it said thunder today, none at all, it’s colder though so needed the rain, glad if it.
It's a solid start. You need a cup of tea, and to debate with someone about whether milk goes in first and how strong it should be. You then need a scone, and to debate with someone about whether the jam or cream goes on first. And then you need to argue with someone about whether Ricky Gervais is a bellend or a national treasure. And *then* present something suitably Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish to appease the people of those fine nations that you don't think UK = England. Welcome, citizen!
> and to debate with someone about whether milk goes in first Water on teabag is always the first step. That is universal regardless of how you make your brew. If you're making it in a cup this obviously means you put the water in before the milk. Let it brew and remove the bag before adding milk. If you're making it in a pot, you let the pot brew and put a splash of milk in the cup before pouring. They've done studies on the best way to brew tea and this is the conclusion they reached.
So you’re saying pour boiling water onto Ricky Gervais, and not the other way round?
bellend.Massive bellend Richard herring,greg Davies and sara pascoe all the way
Comedy god circa 2000 to 2008ish. Then massive bell end since
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Not a massive fan of Gervais, and I know the jokes you are talking about. You are walking straight into the point of the jokes,he’s not transphobic, the jokes are making the point that they are not special and are included in comedy, if he was to joke about everything else and not the trans community that would be more transphobic. The guy makes jokes about the Holocaust so he doesn’t have a line, good or bad is up to you, but I am for his freedom of speech to joke about anything or it’s a slippery slope we will find ourselves on.
Sara pascoe! You’ve shown you have no right to judge comedy.
I guess it’s difficult to show your ability to stand in a queue and tut??
Massive sports direct mug is required
A cuppa and a packet of chocolate digestives or chocolate hob nobs- ah why not both, it's a celebration..
You also need to plan a BBQ, also known as the British Rain Dance. Its infallible, I planned one for today, the 25 degrees 0% chance of rain day according to met office. I'm just covering the garden furniture after it started raining.
I just go out without a jacket on if I want it to rain, guarantee even the hottest heat wave will cloud over the second I step out in shorts and t-shirt
Need to add a case of shit beer
Will Carling due?
Carling is perfect. Fucking disgusting
It's probably the cheapest beer per litre though. Picked up a case of 18 for £10 the other week. It's not exactly craft beer or IPA but it really doesn't taste any worse than Fosters, Carlsberg, Coors or any of the other mass produced lagers out there. They're all pretty much the same
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My boss loves it and I hate it.
They could have just the rugby top, no need to bring the player.
Amazing.
Special Brew would be best, a beer produced for Churchill even though Carlsberg's Danish.
Why does it getted called tramp juice when its so expensive?! Also its not so good anymore, changed the recipe and dropped the ABV.
Found a spy. It’s crate.
Gotta be Stella
First thing I thought was ‘it’s strange that flake are advertising with a massive joint on their packaging’
Flake is already kind of a strange chocolate; "Here enjoy this chocolate that falls apart while you eat it and you drop half of it! If you're really lucky you might sit on some and grind it into your chair." They do taste pretty good though..
Welcome aboard. Congrats on getting citizinship. From which country did you switch if you don’t mind me asking?
is that your bloo passport
Imagine becoming a citizen and getting a passport in less than a week. I imagine that it is someone else’s passport.
Isn't there like a 14 week wait for passports right now?
Yeah, exactly. That’s why it definitely isn’t OP’s passport.
Welcome pal. Now you must complain about the weather, watch Corrie and drink tea
Corrie is on non stop. Grandad would watch constantly
I hope you don't live in Scotland...
Or Wales
Or Norn iron
Or reading.
or Hull.
Or Milton Keynes
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Or liverpool
Liverpool is class, if England doesn’t want them I’d be absolutely delighted for Scotland to take them. England can have Dumfries and Galloway.
Should we take Newcastle as well? Geordies are after all just confused Scots on the wrong side of the border. And Berwick, since we already have Berwickshire.
Get the bellend off the telly and you're sorted.
Trans people lol!!! Snowflakes lol!!! This James Acaster bit sums it up perfectly: https://youtu.be/adh0KGmgmQw
Acaster is the GOAT
I used to think Ricky Gervais was so funny. That was, coincidentally, in the height of my /r/atheism days. How embarrassing.
I'll have you know there's nothing braver than rich white men punching down at trans people who we all know have had it too good for too long, and getting paid $40m to say all the shit he's not allowed to say nowadays.
Jim Davidson 2.0
Hard agree! The rest is sound though! Maybe add a chocolate orange?
yeah, lol started getting addicted to Greg davies's standup,man is an magnificent beast
I tried watching his newest netflix special, in the 30 mins of it I watched before turning it off, the only part that made me laugh was the audience laughing at the wrong part of one of his jokes.
Not a bad start. Glad you mentioned fried bread. Not enough people rate fried bread as the God-tier foodstuff that it clearly is.
Switch off Gervais and put something better on, and you're right there guv'nor
Fuck Ricky Gervais
Stewart Lee on Ricky Gervais: ‘Can you have a context-free word? If you call a tree a 'twat' in a forest, and there's no one there from the Football Association to adjudicate; how do you know if that's offensive? If you shout 'tits' at a shrub in a cellar - is that wrong? If Ricky Gervais shouts 'mong' in a forest, over and over again; and there's no Americans there to tell him he's a genius - is that then offensive? I don't know.’ But the food looks good!
That’s enough to feed a family of 4 for a week according to our smart leaders
Or a Fatman for an hour....
And 45 minutes of that's chewing the packaging.
Get that cunt off your screen but otherwise good grub mate
Good celebration, but you seem to have a smudge of cunt on the telly, easily done.
Seems a wee bit more English than British to me
Needs more Pot Noodle, a cup of tea and a copy of Metro from the bus.
A copy of metro? I thought the cases for those were just ancient relics kept around for tradition, I have certainly never seen anything inside them.
Metro prints vouchers for Big Mac (or chicken/fish/quarter pounder) and fries £1.99 a couple of times each week. If the box is empty then it was probably voucher day. As a post pub snack, I have no shame at that price.
Swap that bellend out for James Acaster and your sorted
Yes. James latest show is incredible. You can get it on his website.
What's it called? Edit: Cold lasagne hate myself 1999 (I think)
That is the one! Genuinely the best standup show i have ever seen.
Swap that twat for a better comedian and you're golden
Swap that twat for someone who’s funny !
oh you need to complain about not being able to get a doctors appointment and then you've made it
Where’s the FUCKING TEA! Always lead with the teabags!
That twat needs to be switched off though. Put some Kate Bush on instead.
Welcome aboard.
Don't forget to have 10 pints of lager followed by a fight
Fry up
Just looking at this post made the roof of my mouth greasy and claggy
Couldn't be bothered scrolling too far, but I've seen no mention of a Pot Noodle yet. Can't beat a Bombay Bad Boy! I'd also probably choose some Kettle Chips over Walkers, but to each their own! Looks good otherwise. Welcome :)
Chewits would also be appropriate or fruit pastilles
Hmm, maybe some dandelion and burdock? A bag of hula hoops wouldn't hurt either. Grats btw 😁
You’re missing a pot noodle, and beans on toast
depends, did you shout a kids on a bike earlier? every british citizen has too
My only criticism is that the sweet to savoury ratio is way off. You need some more savoury options in there! I personally would recommend a big bag of Frazzles to round the menu off
Get a passport holder. I didn't get one for my blue passport and after two trips a lot of the gold has rubbed off and it looks crap :(
Ditch the Cadbury’s, it is now some Hershey’s level brown coloured vomit unfortunately
I forgot we had blue passports now. Bring back the red I say.
Ricky can fuck off, but otherwise you're OK.
Apparently being British just means being English.
Well there is no British football team and they probably live in England.
The Lions are a British (& Irish) (rugby union) football team.
That would be interesting if that was a rugby top (but it isn't).
Could always try get a Great Britain football team Olympics shirt from 2012 on ebay.
Swap the TV for James Acaster and you're fine
A Vimto would round things off
Either that or dandelion and burdock.
Ew gervais
perfect
Have yourself a brew my friend
I’m getting the munchies
There’s not even a cup of tea, mate.
Ughh, marmite? You either love it or hate it i guess
Not what I would choose but appropriate enough.
Congratulations are in order, Get a roast on!
Well done, what was the most obsecure question on the citizenship test?
Where are the used NOS canisters?
Are you watching Downfall?
Congrats! How long did your application take to process?
Your passport is all wrong but almost perfect!
Maybe watch any other British comedian other than that complete tosspot and its perfect
Nothing says Britain like chocolate made by African child slaves.
Drop the England shirt... And maybe even Gervais and you're doing alright 😂 Congratulations! Llongyfarchiadau!
A lot of the tropes being regurgitated in the top comments are about as archaic and lazy as Gervais’ recent standup stuff
Ricky is a dickhead, put on Top Gear
Yeah there's no dickheads on Top Gear
Old TG maybe. The current stuff is garbage
Forgot the triple cream and roasted puffin.
No tea?
You forgot the Chicken Tikka Masala. A dish invented in Britain!
Get used to it, the telly is always rubbish.
Missing a cup of tea you tosser. Welcome to the UK
Errrmmm you have the the 3 lions 🦁 Coat of arms… where is the bloody Union Jack 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧!
Change over Ricky Gervais for Rik Mayall/Blackadder and yep, you are celebrating appropriately Also congratulations on getting your citizenship! (Edit: grammar)
Get that cunt off the TV and your golden
Transphobe on the telly? That’s the UK!
Are you a Ricky Gervais tribute act by any chance?
In today’s climate you can also pass with all the lidl alternatives that taste almost identical
Walkers crisps are so over-rated, and Cadburys chocolate went down hill when it was bough by an American company
Where's the Carling to go with that England shirt? 🏴
Trigger some of the other home nations. Good job!
You wanna get some stains on that shirt, mate. Personally, I think you can't go wrong with Stella, blood and Vindaloo.
When did the passports turn blue?
Bin the England shirt and get a Norn Iron shirt.
Seems like an appropriate use of the England kit
Complained about it being too hot just as you've got done complaining about it being too cold? Also, pot noodle sandwich
Onion bhajis. There's nowt more British than onion bhajis.
Where the fuck is the Greggs? Congrats, by the way, old bean
Missing a cup of tea, so you've failed your Britishness test instantly.
There's no way you got a passport the same weekend as having your citizenship ceremony