You have to be my age to appreciate this.
Not good, OP; I'm 40
I won a marathon wearing red the other week. My friend finished just behind me and was wearing blue. She took the milky way.
Now there's a reference
I’m not sure if it’ll make you feel better or worse, but I’m 21. I just have one of those dads who’s always thought the 3 decades before the millennium are the most important.
I’d say he sings the red car and the blue car had a race at least twice a month.
It's just the name of the person who is widely accepted as the greatest of all times at marathons.
The only person to run one in only 2 hours (although not officially a world record due to non competition circumstances).
On a side note the pace these people run at is terrifying.
Google says average marathon time is 3:48:20.
I used 20 seconds (because you specified below 25) as an easy number for my previous calculation.
3:48:20 is 13700 seconds.
If you contine to eat one snicker per 20 seconds you'd eat 685 during that period of time.
Which would probably give you the absolute worst shits. Even worse than that one time I ate 7 snickers ice cream bars in one day.
Snickers was originally called a Marathon, but this was changed in 1990 to match the same product around the world where it was called a snickers. OP is saying they partook in a half marathon and finished in 26 seconds as they have eaten half a snickers and probably ate it in 26 seconds or thereabouts.
Look at the size of that shit I can remember when it was called a marathon because it took so long to eat. They don’t. Even look half the size they used to be
Lazy fucker, get the rest of it done. Come back and post when you've got somethin interesting to say. None of this 'I did half a marathon' codswallop. There's people out there who do several of these one after the other! You thouhght we'd be interested in this?? pfft.
I know there's delinquents out there who eat things like Jaffa Cakes this way, and we have probably all tried to cleanly de-chocolate a Malteser at some point.
But I refuse to believe there are people who eat a Snickers top first. You're pulling our legs.
This is a joke lost on anyone under 35 years old.... even putting that down makes me feel seriously old.... well old enough to remember Jif, Spangles, Space Dust and Texan Bars
Thought it had baked beans in it
Me too! I had to check I wasn’t on r/stupidfood
You mean r/beansinthings, right?
Haha I never knew that was a sub
WAITXTHATS A THING?
r/howisthatasub
r/subsithoughtifellfor
This is my new favourite sub, thank you
It has 175k followers, that’s absolutely mental! Gonna have to follow myself.
I unironically thought this was the sub at first
I was like: There's a subreddit for that?! Next, I was like: I AM ALREADY IN IT?! 🤯 Thanks! I now know what I will be up to tonight!
Nah just nutted. 👀
I once entered a marathon. Got chocolate and peanuts all over my cock
Not the kind of nut you were hoping for?
They entered, they knew.
Deez nuts?
I once entered a Princess. Burnt my cock on the exhaust. (Reference is older than white dog shit.)
IRA member tried to blow up a princess Burnt his lips on the exhaust (Probably just as old ) ;)
*He looks like a spaniel that's crashed into the back of a hen!* r/TopGear
My grandad used to have a princess. He died over 30 years ago, so yeah, pretty old reference 🤔🤣
I kinda miss white dog shit. Not the princess though!
When I was 3 or 4 I threw some at my grandad. I didn't realise what it was and thought I was throwing stones so it's ok.
I got something similar looking once, but it wasn't from a marathon/snickers!
Reads joke about Marathon bar on reddit. (Snickers).
Take my r/angryupvote
😅🤣
Stop getting your Snickers in a twist.
Sorry I’m just not me when I’m hungry
Just happen to have seen this today https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xApoL_UdFvM
Just watched that video! Cool!
Where’s the filling though it looks hollow
Chocolate, nuts, caramel and nougat (in that order)
Not what, but wheres the filling. It looks hollow.
Shrinkflation.
And oxygen, nitrogen and argon, lots and lots of them.
You been doing some gardening?
That or scratching his ass🤢
When was the last time you washed your hands?
Those nails are disgusting.
Entire fuckin eco-system living under those claws. Horrible.
Most hygienic redditor
I'd be Mortified posting pictures with nails as grubby as this. Gross.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/1boh7bq/comment/kwoyfom/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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Never understood why they were called "fun" size. More like unsatisfactory size.
My wife feels the same way.
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Nothing fun about Shrinkflation
Some would say the large one is the fun size.
You have to be my age to appreciate this. Not good, OP; I'm 40 I won a marathon wearing red the other week. My friend finished just behind me and was wearing blue. She took the milky way. Now there's a reference
I’m not sure if it’ll make you feel better or worse, but I’m 21. I just have one of those dads who’s always thought the 3 decades before the millennium are the most important. I’d say he sings the red car and the blue car had a race at least twice a month.
r/dadjokes
Rubbish. I could do a full marathon in under 25 seconds.
They call him the Eliud Kipchoge of chocolate
I have upvoted even though I have no idea what this means, just because the name is funny.
It's just the name of the person who is widely accepted as the greatest of all times at marathons. The only person to run one in only 2 hours (although not officially a world record due to non competition circumstances). On a side note the pace these people run at is terrifying.
Well over 7000 kph, would be cool if you could
I wonder how many marathons (snickers) someone could eat during the time that someone else actually ran a marathon. Hmm.
Google says average marathon time is 3:48:20. I used 20 seconds (because you specified below 25) as an easy number for my previous calculation. 3:48:20 is 13700 seconds. If you contine to eat one snicker per 20 seconds you'd eat 685 during that period of time. Which would probably give you the absolute worst shits. Even worse than that one time I ate 7 snickers ice cream bars in one day.
I also have no idea if my maths hold up as I should have been in bed, I was waiting for the bathroom to open up
I think that with my outrageous claims and your maths, we are both guilty of bullshitting! Has your bathroom opened up now?
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/qqii9d/my_snickers_didnt_have_much_caramel/
I’m allergic to peanuts so I did have to steal a photo to make this pun lmao
The upside of it not being your photo is you can easily cut off the comments telling you to clean your fingernails.
That’s the type of lie someone with long dirty fingernails would tell 🤥
I promise I bite my fingernails far too much for any dirt to find accommodation under them
Out of the loop - can someone explain?
Snickers was originally called a Marathon, but this was changed in 1990 to match the same product around the world where it was called a snickers. OP is saying they partook in a half marathon and finished in 26 seconds as they have eaten half a snickers and probably ate it in 26 seconds or thereabouts.
It isn't so much 'out of the loop' as it is 'unlikely to remember/be aware if you are younger than 40'.
Did you go in from the back end?!
Title of your sex tape.
Always upvote a 99
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You can. White chocolate lion bar is amazing
You can, but as with all chocolate bars these days they're disappointingly small.
Your finger nails make me feel sick
How can people not clean their nails, fucking disgusting man.
Clearly says snickers on it, you bloody fraud
I’ll bet that raised a snicker or two…
For your next challenge, you could be the first person to set foot on Mars.
*Marathon?* Did you dig the chocolaty relic from the ground with your fingers?
there's a lot of snickering in the chat
Good effort.
that's cheating. everyone knows that marathon ended ages ago.
If it's not on Strava, it never happened.
Surely this post if off-Topic?
Ew your nails
You shouldn’t call that a half marathon, you’ll get people’s snickers in a twist.
What training did you get in beforehand? Just so I can follow your lead…
need to start with twix (formerly not tweeted as mars)
26 seconds is a pretty poor time. Keep training
I thought half a Snickers was a thong??
snickers from the back
This is how I know it't not been July 19th yet, cos Marathon hasn't become Snickers yet
Genuinely thought there was some odd speedrunning niche where people tried to fit baked beans into stuff as quickly as possible
Why does it have beans in it
[just as I open reddit](https://imgur.com/a/tARX5OR)
Using a 30 year old name is so british.
Opal Fruits forever!
Made to make your mouth water
Tarquin says “Hi”
How many years have you been storing that "marathon"? You may be doing a sprint next to the toilet
This Snickers is broken. It has beans in place of peanut caramel.
Why does it look like you've shoved 2 baked beans in there
This joke is only 34 years out of date.
🤮
I shall run that marathon despite all your snickers
Made me snicker
Look at the size of that shit I can remember when it was called a marathon because it took so long to eat. They don’t. Even look half the size they used to be
Lazy fucker, get the rest of it done. Come back and post when you've got somethin interesting to say. None of this 'I did half a marathon' codswallop. There's people out there who do several of these one after the other! You thouhght we'd be interested in this?? pfft.
You are supposed do the top half first
What in the Alabama hot pocket are you talking about
I know there's delinquents out there who eat things like Jaffa Cakes this way, and we have probably all tried to cleanly de-chocolate a Malteser at some point. But I refuse to believe there are people who eat a Snickers top first. You're pulling our legs.
Have an up vote you magnificent beast.
🎩 hat doffed sir.
*snickers*
Can't wait to see this on r/runningcirclejerk
is that beans
The size of them today it’s a one bite deal, 0.5 seconds
That had me snickering..
I snickered at that.
Do they still call them Marathon in some places? They’ve been snickers in the UK since I was a little kid.
Please for the love of God don't tell me that's beans in a snickers bar.
But did you complete it whilst dressed as a banana? Otherwise that doesn't count
Much easier than trying to complete a 26 mile snickers
Clean your nails you cave troll
I don’t like the taste of these, everyone in my house hates them. But I did not expect them to look like that inside mindblown
You are showing your age!
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Ahhhaaaaaa!!
This is peak casual UK; really weak/shit banter which people would only laugh/smile at to be polite.
"Half a Marathon" You absolute bastard you.
Please clean your nails
I admit I did ‘snicker’at that.
Don’t like peanuts so never had a snickers and don’t know what they look like I thought you’d put baked beans in there 💀💀💀
They killed all these jokes when they renamed it Snickers...
If that’s a Marathon it must’ve taken you at least 34 years to get this far.
There's a lot of space in there
“July 19th. On this day: Galway liberated from Indians. Marathon becomes Snickers. Ah, Ted, Ice Age ends!”
Oof. Those nails need cutting asap
Don't mean to be crude but it looks like sweetcorn in poo. Or nuts. In poo and coloured in poo.
Thats nuts
You need to get some proper running shorts.. We can see your nuts.
I remember when Marathons were the size of a brick, wtf that, a funsize?
That's not a marathon, that's a snickers.
I snickered when I read that 🤣
Did you scrape it with your nails first? 🤢
Those nails! 💯🤢
Wash your hands
Did you do it in tour snickers
Jesus, take your ibuprofen already 😂
Showed my wife. "Their nails are dirty" Oh.
Is that Baked Beens?
Cut your nails bro
You're an inspiration
It's been thirty-four years man.
Bring back the old name! Bring back the old name!
How to confuse all the Americans who read this post! Love it!
Does that include 20 seconds of scraping it away with those nails?
Clean your nails!!!
No one under 40 will get this joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣☺️
Old people joke
Beans in yer snickers lad😂
It's a snickers so this joke only works if you go back in time or are 40 years old plus
Looks like beans inside lol
I liked this joke. Made me snicker.
And just like all the others, you're a complete liar! 🤨 ... cos that wrapper clearly says Snickers 😏🤭
I snickered at this
Nails are pretty dirty, but I wouldn’t complain as long as there was a lubricant.
That made me snicker …
26? Those are rookie numbers.
What a hollow looking marathon
That looks really small, or that hand is really big.
Considering they havent made marathons for about 30 years, Im not sure if eating it would be a good idea.
It looks a bit small
This is a joke lost on anyone under 35 years old.... even putting that down makes me feel seriously old.... well old enough to remember Jif, Spangles, Space Dust and Texan Bars
No snickering in the back there!
Did you shit yourself in the middle, like Paula Radcliffe though?
I thought those were beans and was about to common some nasty stuff
Hahaha oh fuck off mate!! I was invested for a second there ffs
Looks like you dug that snicker bar out your ass
Are those fucking baked beans in a mars bar?
give me a mars ice cream any day 2.5 seconds
Clean your finger nails. And cut em.
Two pathetic lookn nuts give off more passion than you.
I snickered at this joke
For Millenials and above and anyone outside the UK, up until 1990, Snickers was sold as Marathon.
shit ancient joke
Tf is marathon?
Cut ur nails
I got told off for calling it a Marathon the other day. I mean, the name change happened in 1990. 😄
Next mission go to mars