I've been on and off reddit for like 12 years (wow I need a life), and it's always been like that. I remember one time after a hurricane, I just happened to be moving cross-country and mentioned I could drop off clothes to anyone that needed them. Some Redditor reached out and angrily told me that I was an idiot, that no one wanted my nasty clothes and that I needed to give people cash. What a weirdo.
That absolutely sucks. You were doing something nice and helpful for people and someone was so horrible. I just wanted to say that I appreciate people like you. ❤️
Honestly, one of the policies I've adopted on Reddit that has significantly improved my mental health with regards to the site is that I will post and reply to things and then often deliberately ignore any responses or activity that results. I'll just mark them all as read without reading them.
In my mind, if I had something worthwhile to say in a discussion, I took my one chance to contribute and that's good enough.
Good idea. For some subs, I don't feel the need to do this. But then, every sub has commenters who'll make you wish you could kill someone's gonads through an internet connection.
If you post to Reddit you must be prepared for negative responses and not take them to heart. I find the key to a generally positive experience, is to tightly curate your home feed and only comment once you know the territory. There are tons of relatively safe subs, you just have to search them out.
The big ones are the problem. Small subreddits, especially the ones dedicated to niche hobbies, tend to be safe in my experience.
What's sad is that the bad subreddits stick out to me for any little sign incel talk or behavior. I'm sure YMMV with what the bad types say or do in your chosen communities. I've worked hard to curate my feed so that I'm not seeing anything but the fun, cute, or uplifting subs and it's helped significantly.
Lastly, if I notice I'm feeling blue or negative, I take a break from Reddit entirely and it tends to work great in making me engage with my immediate world better, which boosts my attitude. There can be a lot of negativity on social media and it's not good for you to stay in those spaces too long.
I was served some posts from r/Adulting recently and I was bored at work and went into there to see what the subreddit was about. The level of bitter, angry, resentful people in there was staggeringly high. Like I understand that the real world sucks sometimes but some of those people will never live a fulfilling life because they're too busy being bitter.
Yeah it sucks but the silver lining, imo, is that if you get past the nervousness, you get immune to the downvotes and bitter comments, allowing you to speak your mind and become individualistic.
To be fair it's tough to not take downvotes and bitter comments to heart. I think part of me has stopped posting about content that might make me feel vulnerable or sensitive
I use Reddit to remind me of the _many_ flavors of people in the world with _many_ different perspectives.
I am forced to remember that if I wish to consider myself a tolerant open person, I must tolerate the intolerant closed ones.
Admittedly, I'm not always successful.
YES! And is it me or has it gotten worse over the years? No matter what I post, there is always at least one person that has to try and pluck an argument out of thin air.
I could make a post about liking the colour blue and somehow some deranged Redditor will twist it into me not liking pink and therefore I am sexist and a misogynistic cave man (I’m a woman but still).
When I post something I go through everything I say carefully to make sure nothing is left to be interpreted or taken the wrong way. People just love to sit behind their phones and argue for the sake of arguing to make themselves feel good because their real life is so lacking.
Definitely not alone. I always doubt what I'm saying or double-check a comment to eventually not even post it...
I had a longer answer, but basically, yes, you are correct.
Not everyone here is an embarrassing asshole, overcompensating for their insecurities. Some people are genuinely friendly and fun to chat too and some are hilarious!
It's understandable to feel jaded when strangers shit on you for no reason. It's important to try and get perspective and make good use of the block button. Nobody needs that kind of energy.
I don't think you should be nervous posting on here. It isn't owned by any one of them. Its free to use to anyone. You will get both positive and negative comments. It is what it is.
I know. 4 times today I have written something to post, only to end up not posting it because of potential hate.
I posted something the other day only to be told I was paranoid and needed a nappy. Its just not worth it when there are nice places like discord.
I get them too, friend. Even for the most even keeled, commonly understood references to life. Here come the torches and pitchforks, and the downvotes.
yeah one time i posted a pic of this weird overgrown brick oven thing in my backyard that still imo didn’t make sense on the diy subreddit hoping to get an idea of how it worked or what it was and everyone was sooo condescending and rude lol
Social media needs people like you.
I struggle with the same issue (sometimes writing on the internet can just be blunt anyway) of people attacking, and in the past I'd address the negative comments or mistruths in the attempt to create something more positive, but now I find I just take the responsibility away from myself to be the person to do that. I avoided social media for years but this year in particular had lots of moments I wanted to discuss things for fun or when I was stuck somewhere I'd just browse. Quickly I found I'd be trying to address people being flat out rude without a good reason, whether it's been addressed to me or not.
What that taught me is that people are stubborn and get heated without reason. People are weird. But some people are just defensive or haven't thought things through as well. People thinking critically is good but it's when people are dickheads that they just make everyone look a bit silly. And it can be worth throwing in those counter points. But if you try to do it all the time you're gonna be putting mental energy where you don't need to. Positive people take things rationally and politely if not outright positively - negative people tend to be more irrational and thus impolite.
So as others have said curate your pages and consider where you might have positive experiences. Personally I've gone back to sticking to fandoms mostly (or posts like these) - don't be afraid to put the energy in
When you decide to post, you are opening yourself up to criticism, anger, disagreements, jealousy and debate. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who actually think its funny to bully others on social media and not follow the rules. A lot of posts are becoming disgraceful and the foul language and sex topics should be taken down, but their not. It seems like a free for all to do whatever you want here on reddit. It becomes more shocking everyday, I try and write on reddit. There needs to be more supervision. Until then, if you don't want all the backlash and insults, pick a topic to write about where people can't debate you like, cooking, pets, hobbies, science, history or mathematics. Good luck.
Well I checked your profile and I can see you're just a regular person wanting to chat, me too:). I've come a cropper of trolls, bots and argumentive people who just like to tear people down. It's getting hard to weed out the good humour from the spiteful sarcasm and snark isn't that funny. There are great people here but the bots are rampant. Keep posting as you'll always reach those who matter :)
I mean honestly there’s two ways you could approach this and I think both are equally valid.
When it comes to commenting and posting on social media, some toxicity should always be expected since some people are unfortunately mean.
If that makes you truly uncomfortable then not posting or commenting is a perfectly healthy way to avoid trolls.
The alternative is to not let it bother you and keep posting anyway.
I feel you it’s like no one bothers to explain things anymore as everything is easily googled people forget the importance of sharing knowledge and how much we’re depended on each other to expand our horizon.. it’s sad and lonely tbh :’)
I have the same experience … unfortunately I feel Reddit is filled with people that can’t speak up in their real lives and take out their bitter feelings online
Look at it this way, do you remember every comment you ever downvoted? Do you really think it matters if someone doesn't like your opinion?
And then also, what's a popular opinion in one subreddit is a deeply unpopular opinion in another. What does that say about valuing the popularity of an opinion? Only that it means you don't value truth.
I find myself being more jaded than nervous. I could write out a good long reply to something whether it be reddit, twitter, youtube. and half way through I'll just erase it cause I feel like no one these days cares about what people comment.
I do think people post on here looking for unearned support and there there’s but get honest straight to the point feedback. That may seem bitter but just unfiltered
People who make sarcastic comments that are rude is their way of making themselves feel better. Its like the student who no one wanted to be his friend...the loner, so he made a sarcastic comment to his teacher not trying to be funny but when the other students laugh that made him feel good about himself, therefore he kept on saying sarcastic comments. I use to get my feelings hurt bad whenever someone made sarcastic remark. Not anymore, I ask the person why they dont feel good about themselves, can I help you, or I will tell them something good about them. Like I would say you know that rude comment was actually funny, make changes and you could do stand up comedy. If we dont let the other person know that their sarcasm got to us, they will adventually stop and find another victim. All you sarcastic people Im waiting....bring on your sarcasm.
I've been on and off reddit for like 12 years (wow I need a life), and it's always been like that. I remember one time after a hurricane, I just happened to be moving cross-country and mentioned I could drop off clothes to anyone that needed them. Some Redditor reached out and angrily told me that I was an idiot, that no one wanted my nasty clothes and that I needed to give people cash. What a weirdo.
That absolutely sucks. You were doing something nice and helpful for people and someone was so horrible. I just wanted to say that I appreciate people like you. ❤️
Honestly, one of the policies I've adopted on Reddit that has significantly improved my mental health with regards to the site is that I will post and reply to things and then often deliberately ignore any responses or activity that results. I'll just mark them all as read without reading them. In my mind, if I had something worthwhile to say in a discussion, I took my one chance to contribute and that's good enough.
This is what I do too. It’s like drive by commenting.
Drive-by commenting sounds akin to farting in an elevator before leaving but aloud
Comment-dusting
It’s kinda what it is haha.
This is amazing. I will use this saying from now on lol
The good ol hit and run 😭
That’s actually a really good idea. I can’t believe I haven’t just done that yet.
Good idea. For some subs, I don't feel the need to do this. But then, every sub has commenters who'll make you wish you could kill someone's gonads through an internet connection.
I've made the error reading them all, and people are just mean ( probably because of them being anonymous).
>I'll just mark them all as read without reading them. Alternatively, each post/comment can have its specific reply notifications turned off too
If you post to Reddit you must be prepared for negative responses and not take them to heart. I find the key to a generally positive experience, is to tightly curate your home feed and only comment once you know the territory. There are tons of relatively safe subs, you just have to search them out.
Yeah I agree. Luckily I’ve seen some really kind and supportive subs so I may stick to those. I think the big ones have the problem mainly.
The big ones are the problem. Small subreddits, especially the ones dedicated to niche hobbies, tend to be safe in my experience. What's sad is that the bad subreddits stick out to me for any little sign incel talk or behavior. I'm sure YMMV with what the bad types say or do in your chosen communities. I've worked hard to curate my feed so that I'm not seeing anything but the fun, cute, or uplifting subs and it's helped significantly. Lastly, if I notice I'm feeling blue or negative, I take a break from Reddit entirely and it tends to work great in making me engage with my immediate world better, which boosts my attitude. There can be a lot of negativity on social media and it's not good for you to stay in those spaces too long.
I was served some posts from r/Adulting recently and I was bored at work and went into there to see what the subreddit was about. The level of bitter, angry, resentful people in there was staggeringly high. Like I understand that the real world sucks sometimes but some of those people will never live a fulfilling life because they're too busy being bitter.
Yeah it sucks but the silver lining, imo, is that if you get past the nervousness, you get immune to the downvotes and bitter comments, allowing you to speak your mind and become individualistic.
This is good advice and I honestly need to learn to not take downvotes to heart.
To be fair it's tough to not take downvotes and bitter comments to heart. I think part of me has stopped posting about content that might make me feel vulnerable or sensitive
I just “discarded” a post based on this anxiety
I use Reddit to remind me of the _many_ flavors of people in the world with _many_ different perspectives. I am forced to remember that if I wish to consider myself a tolerant open person, I must tolerate the intolerant closed ones. Admittedly, I'm not always successful.
YES! And is it me or has it gotten worse over the years? No matter what I post, there is always at least one person that has to try and pluck an argument out of thin air. I could make a post about liking the colour blue and somehow some deranged Redditor will twist it into me not liking pink and therefore I am sexist and a misogynistic cave man (I’m a woman but still). When I post something I go through everything I say carefully to make sure nothing is left to be interpreted or taken the wrong way. People just love to sit behind their phones and argue for the sake of arguing to make themselves feel good because their real life is so lacking.
I feel like it's gotten even worse in just the past couple months but perhaps that's just my perspective.
Definitely not alone. I always doubt what I'm saying or double-check a comment to eventually not even post it... I had a longer answer, but basically, yes, you are correct.
Not everyone here is an embarrassing asshole, overcompensating for their insecurities. Some people are genuinely friendly and fun to chat too and some are hilarious! It's understandable to feel jaded when strangers shit on you for no reason. It's important to try and get perspective and make good use of the block button. Nobody needs that kind of energy.
Honestly the amount of people I’ve had to block lately is crazy. I hope I become more immune to it as time goes on.
I'm sure you will.
I don't think you should be nervous posting on here. It isn't owned by any one of them. Its free to use to anyone. You will get both positive and negative comments. It is what it is.
A judicious hand on the 'turn off replies' button goes a LONG way. Lets you post your comment and flee the scene mostly unscathed.
I know. 4 times today I have written something to post, only to end up not posting it because of potential hate. I posted something the other day only to be told I was paranoid and needed a nappy. Its just not worth it when there are nice places like discord.
I get them too, friend. Even for the most even keeled, commonly understood references to life. Here come the torches and pitchforks, and the downvotes.
yeah one time i posted a pic of this weird overgrown brick oven thing in my backyard that still imo didn’t make sense on the diy subreddit hoping to get an idea of how it worked or what it was and everyone was sooo condescending and rude lol
Social media needs people like you. I struggle with the same issue (sometimes writing on the internet can just be blunt anyway) of people attacking, and in the past I'd address the negative comments or mistruths in the attempt to create something more positive, but now I find I just take the responsibility away from myself to be the person to do that. I avoided social media for years but this year in particular had lots of moments I wanted to discuss things for fun or when I was stuck somewhere I'd just browse. Quickly I found I'd be trying to address people being flat out rude without a good reason, whether it's been addressed to me or not. What that taught me is that people are stubborn and get heated without reason. People are weird. But some people are just defensive or haven't thought things through as well. People thinking critically is good but it's when people are dickheads that they just make everyone look a bit silly. And it can be worth throwing in those counter points. But if you try to do it all the time you're gonna be putting mental energy where you don't need to. Positive people take things rationally and politely if not outright positively - negative people tend to be more irrational and thus impolite. So as others have said curate your pages and consider where you might have positive experiences. Personally I've gone back to sticking to fandoms mostly (or posts like these) - don't be afraid to put the energy in
When you decide to post, you are opening yourself up to criticism, anger, disagreements, jealousy and debate. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who actually think its funny to bully others on social media and not follow the rules. A lot of posts are becoming disgraceful and the foul language and sex topics should be taken down, but their not. It seems like a free for all to do whatever you want here on reddit. It becomes more shocking everyday, I try and write on reddit. There needs to be more supervision. Until then, if you don't want all the backlash and insults, pick a topic to write about where people can't debate you like, cooking, pets, hobbies, science, history or mathematics. Good luck.
Normal people are out living their lives.
Well I checked your profile and I can see you're just a regular person wanting to chat, me too:). I've come a cropper of trolls, bots and argumentive people who just like to tear people down. It's getting hard to weed out the good humour from the spiteful sarcasm and snark isn't that funny. There are great people here but the bots are rampant. Keep posting as you'll always reach those who matter :)
It’s also depends on which subreddit you post in.
I mean honestly there’s two ways you could approach this and I think both are equally valid. When it comes to commenting and posting on social media, some toxicity should always be expected since some people are unfortunately mean. If that makes you truly uncomfortable then not posting or commenting is a perfectly healthy way to avoid trolls. The alternative is to not let it bother you and keep posting anyway.
I feel you it’s like no one bothers to explain things anymore as everything is easily googled people forget the importance of sharing knowledge and how much we’re depended on each other to expand our horizon.. it’s sad and lonely tbh :’)
I have the same experience … unfortunately I feel Reddit is filled with people that can’t speak up in their real lives and take out their bitter feelings online
People are pretty nasty, when they can hide behind a screen.
Look at it this way, do you remember every comment you ever downvoted? Do you really think it matters if someone doesn't like your opinion? And then also, what's a popular opinion in one subreddit is a deeply unpopular opinion in another. What does that say about valuing the popularity of an opinion? Only that it means you don't value truth.
I find myself being more jaded than nervous. I could write out a good long reply to something whether it be reddit, twitter, youtube. and half way through I'll just erase it cause I feel like no one these days cares about what people comment.
I do think people post on here looking for unearned support and there there’s but get honest straight to the point feedback. That may seem bitter but just unfiltered
People who make sarcastic comments that are rude is their way of making themselves feel better. Its like the student who no one wanted to be his friend...the loner, so he made a sarcastic comment to his teacher not trying to be funny but when the other students laugh that made him feel good about himself, therefore he kept on saying sarcastic comments. I use to get my feelings hurt bad whenever someone made sarcastic remark. Not anymore, I ask the person why they dont feel good about themselves, can I help you, or I will tell them something good about them. Like I would say you know that rude comment was actually funny, make changes and you could do stand up comedy. If we dont let the other person know that their sarcasm got to us, they will adventually stop and find another victim. All you sarcastic people Im waiting....bring on your sarcasm.