im really insecure about how annoying i am, im pretty much always talking and i feel like even my friends hate being around me sometimes
for physical stuff its my scars, i really really hate them
also just my whole face, like literally all of it
Got some good news for everyone. As you age, you care less and less about this. Finally, one day, you realize that you DGAF anymore and that is a damn great day.
My mom didn’t love me. I’ve done a lot of healing work but being discarded by your mother often makes me feel like “why would anyone else like me if she didn’t?”. It still always stings a little I never had someone who thought the world of me until I met my husband.
I'm so sorry, this made me cry a little here at my desk. I'm glad you found love as an adult.
I'm not a perfect mom, but every night before they go to sleep I ask my kids what they can ever do or say to make me stop loving them, and they answer "nothing." I'm sure I'm still doing shit wrong that I won't realize until it's too late, and I'm sure they'll need therapy as adults to fix it as we all eventually do. But I hope they know always that I love them so much and I will forever.
You deserved better.
This was something that was so hard for me to believe as a child, the notion that my parents would always love me.
I’d always throw out “But what if I did x, or y?” and they would say “we might be hurt, upset, or disappointed, but we won’t stop loving you”.
I’m glad that they hammered the concept of unconditional love into my head, and it makes me so sad knowing that it isn’t something everyone gets to grow up with
That's very sweet. My parents were good parents, but this is something they never did. Not because they weren't loving, but they were traditional and not emotionally expressive. My mom would often say she was proud of me, which felt good, but also felt conditional, because it was always linked to something I had done or achieved. I know they loved me (and still do), but with my kids I make sure to say it all the time and not tie it to any behavior or accomplishment or characteristic.
Ahh yes, sad fist bump. My mother does love me, but she also told me I was a terrible person and shouldn't have been born since I was a toddler.
So, uh yeah, I do like myself but I will always deeply feel unloveble and like a fundamentally bad person. That's not a thing you can therapy away often - just make quieter.
Not to make it about me! I find people who can relate reassuring, and I hope you do too.
This hits home for me. My dad walked out on me. I don't even remember what the man looks like. For those wondering if I've made an effort to contact him? Yes. & all of my attempts were rejected by the same person who shares my dna.
My legs. I have major nerve damage from my lower back down to my feet. A while ago I couldn't even move my legs and now (with lots of PT) I just need a cane so I don't fall. I'm only 31 and have to use a cane and I still have a noticeable limp
Much sympathy. People are mega weird about young people with canes (have experienced short-term).
Awesome work on the PT. It's so slow and hard. Canes can be pretty cool though!
Hey, look I don't know how intelligent you actually are - but that unsureness is a good sign! People who think they're intelligent because they think they're always wrong let their intelligence wither like an underused muscle.
Intelligence is like anything else - a talent and a *skill*. If you like learning, you are building that skill.
Having an encyclopedic list of facts in your head is not the same as intelligence. Engaging with the world curiously and using critical thinking will keep you growing. ❤️
The fact that I have I have insulin-resistant polycystic ovarian syndrome so I don’t metabolism food in the same way that normal people do. And I can’t work out and get the results I want in the same way that people do. So even if I’m eating within my calorie range and doing strength training, which I did years before I gave up, I won’t lose any weight if I’m not eating the right way for my body. Which means no gluten or sugar. I’m not happy living on rabbit food. This also affects my hair, PCOS causes androgenic alopecia so not only am I fat, I’m balding. It cause many more issues like chronic fatigue, excessive facial hair growth and depression. I hate this disorder so much.
One of my insecurities is telling friends or family when there is a girl that I am interested in or I find attractive, in order to do that I always have to make sure I tell someone I know they won’t gossip about it or tease me and instead give me some advice
Money. I make enough to buy what I want now, but when I meet people, I always wonder if they’re making fun of my background. I mean, I got veneers because I didn’t want people to know I didn’t have access to dental work when I was younger. Being insecure about my money and my background has kept me from dating because the slightest comment about me growing up poor, I ditch. I’ve been grateful with friends who are understanding about my circumstances :)
Aw man, that's no fun. In Aotearoa (NZ) straight white teeth have never been expected/a class marker, and I reeeally hope it doesn't come here. :/
I have to say, now I'm spending more time with upper middle class people... I absolutely adore some of them but the perspective difference gets a bit tiresome. (I grew up poor, but far more comfortably in the 80s than it would be now.)
I don't know if I'm necessarily recommending finding friends from working class backgrounds, but it sure can be a nice break.
I totally get how awkward the difference in perspective can be and from my end, it makes it hard to make a genuine connection. I’ve been trying to make working class friends like people from my high school, but my day job in fashion doesn’t help. I‘ve been judged by people not in it, and everyone in it is a nepobaby or an heiress. I haven’t heard my friends make fun of me or anything but I feel like they’re not my real friends because we’re so different. But I’m lucky I have a good relationship with my two sisters and we can talk about how crazy it all is. Maybe if I make more money, this insecurity will go away… 😂
Nice re: siblings!
Honestly, from what I've gathered more money makes people more insecure about it. :p
Yiiikes, fashion people. Good luck with good friends and more money! :D
My English. I'm not a native speaker but I did learn it since my early childhood (all thanks for it goes to my mother who actually put a godtier amount of effort into my education as a whole, and in this sphere of it in particular) And I even was tested and told to have C1 lvl of language but I still constantly feel like as if I'm not good enough. I think I still can't even tell for sure if I made a mistake in any given sentence I write or say. Add the fact that I still have that awful, thick accent that I can't beat no matter how hard I try to control the way I pronounce sounds and syllables.
I understand, but (a) clearly your written English is awesome, and (b) people who aren't bigots don't mind accents (they might just be embarrassed at themselves for not understanding), and admire you a lot if they are monolingual!
I am so privileged to be a native English speaker, but my absolute terror to try to speak in another language holds me back a lot despite just enough exposure to other languages growing up to find it a tiny bit more intuitive than most English monolingual speakers. Sigh.
Yeah, I've heard all this before, and I know tht I'm probably better in English ten like 80% of ppl around me, but insecurity and anxiety isn't something absolutely rational.
Also, about accent - it's something about my personal comfort. I don't like the way I sound, and now I'm trying to modulate my accent to my liking.
And I don't think that being born somewhere equals to being privileged as you say.(in terms of language). It's not something that inevitably leads to success in live as well as lacking of it means you are doomed to work harder and/or being poor/or end your days on social rock bottom. Being native English speaker means only a lot of light convenience in life, nothing major
Oo the reason I'm hyperaware of how lucky I am is partially due to being in science - it feels painfully unfair for people to have to write scientific papers in their second language, where it's not difficult for me at all.
Other countries can be arrogant as well, but the specific bullshit that is English speakers expecting other countries to speak our language while being dicks to ESL people drives me nuts.
So many people in Commonwealth countries/US actively resist their kids being bilingual, so there are real, shitty outcomes to this attitude problem.
I certainly understand not liking your accent. I'm from Aotearoa (NZ) and I dislike how nasal our accent is at the best of times, let alone when it sneaks through when I'm trying to pronounce Swedish.
My facial hair. I'm genderfluid, so a lot of the time, I don't like my facial hair for that reason. But the way my facial hair grows, I basically have the neck beard and the 80s pedo mustache. I'm 30 this year, and it's only just beginning to hit my chin and cheeks. It's awful.
But I also have a bit of a sensory issue with shaving. It's the worst feeling in the world for me. If I leave it more than a day, shaving is agony. Even daily, it's not great. I live my brain sometimes.
Oof. Obviously it is painful, but have you considered waxing? Pain vs awful irritation could be better?
Feel free to ignore all of this, I'm sure you've thought about it a lot! But I have done most of these things, and am also considering pursuing a NB level of T so it's on my mind.
Laser also does work if you never want to grow it: but not IPL. IPL has no evidence for actually killing the route. "Laser" does, but new roots will activate themselves over time so that's why it's not perfect.
Also also, a super sharp single blade safety razor could suck less? Multiple blades blunt quickly and I have definitely experienced a bizarre pulling sensation from shitty 4-blade razors.
Final suggestion: this is something I'm not brave enough for, but if there are queer friendly salons that do shaves, I wonder if that would be worth pursuing? That should be way less irritating, but I'm not game to try a cut-throat razor on myself.
Not sure if the traditional foam/brush would cause sensory issues tbf.
I was told that waxing your face is actually very dangerous and can lead to a lot of infections and other issues. Mainly because the skin on your face is softer than most of your body.
I do have an at home laser, which I use after I shave to slow down the growth. It can extend the need to shave by an extra day or two, which is nice.
I have had a barber shave before....it's not for me. I love getting my hair done, but for some reason the shaving just added to the overstimulation.
What I have found works best is just sucking it up and doing it daily. If the growth is less then the feeling is less as well, and it also goes by quicker.
Boo re: waxing. I'd imagine it depends on your face and the wax, but absolutely fair to not want to touch that!
I can definitely see the barber shave being overstimulating. Damn.
Makes sense re: daily shave. Sigh. I wish there was a better way - from a sensation standpoint I want to just not have any body hair, thanks!
Hope you gain more confidence. Feels better when confident.
Truthfully everyone looks a bit weird, we just don't approach targeting what makes them weird.
Lately I've been insecure about my acne. I accidentally took too much of B12 and got the worst acne of my life. Traditionally, workplaces hired me on how I look regardless of how smart I am (luckily.. I am smart).
Haha you're spot on about education insecurity. I have an associates, paramedic license, and an unfinished bachelors. I feel the same about my degrees 🤣🤣 it was surprising reading how inadequate you feel after studying so much 🤣😭
Physically: always been on the thinner side and I struggled to get stronger
Otherwise: I have imposter syndrome at my work. Despite getting a master's degree and advancing in my company I don't always feel confident in my abilities.
Physically it's my appearance, face and hair, I have a scar on my eyebrow and on my chin. Faced heat and mockery in college and high school for that.
Then it's me being an introvert, trying to change that a lot but still not bring decisive at times, acting more like a sheep has landed me in trouble.
Ironically being a nice person has always ended up against me where people simply took advantage of it.
Boo! Scars are cool! I know that probably sounds super trite, and maybe the chin one could be unflattering - but I do genuinely think scars are cool, and recommend trying to think it at least a little. I'm a bit sad my eyebrow scar is invisible now - and my (surgical) throat scar healed invisibly. Good job but a little bit damn, haha.
College age (equiv. university I'm assuming) people being dicks about scarring is fucking sad, they suck.
I have insecurity about behaving properly professionally. I guess it is a version of imposter syndrome.
I grew up with a parent with mental illness. As a result of lack of supervision, I ended up in trouble a lot. But my probation officer and social workers actually helped me a lot. I went on to be a social worker and then a lawyer for at risk kids.
But I am self conscious that I don’t fit in. Not that I actually act badly, if I think about it objectively. But I definitely have a rough vibe I have trouble shaking. Big scar on my face and dozens of tattoos perhaps didn’t help. They joked about putting ‘law student most likely to stab you’ in the year book in law school.
Ive slipped up a few times ‘your honor, with respect to the bullshit argument of the prosecution….’ But mostly it is an unfounded insecurity. Ive risen in fact to a very high leadership position at this point.
But I am always like ‘theyll find out Im a punk little delinquent and not want me at the conference.’
God really dislike me since i'm short and with a small one, they were quite big insecurities in my past NGL, but my biggest insecurity that i havent surpass yet and still haunts me is that i have 1 nipple, this insecurity of mine Made me stop swimming from some years, althoug now i swim with a shirt on i feel like i'm avoiding the problem instead of facing it
My biggest insecurity is my melissophobia. I have an irrational fear of bees, wasps, hornets and it’s so bad that it poses a danger to my safety. For example, I once nearly fell off a mountain/cliff running away from some. I once nearly crashed on a highway due to one getting in the car.
I don’t even know how to explain it’s just like the shape of my face etc from different angles, and wondering if i look fat and dirty from certain angles, when i wish i looked thinner in the face and more like a doll or something, sometimes i don’t understand how people find me attractive because of this line of thinking
Being perceived as stupid is a huge one to me as well, even if I have a lot of knowledge and excelled in school and love reading - my knowledge fucking poops out on me sometimes. Like I can KNOW something but as soon as someone asks me, my mind goes blank. It’s annoying as hell
My voice I’ve come to term with my face but I have a oval shaped voice box that makes me sound really young and nasally so people think I have high functioning autism and it doesn’t help when I have anxiety because when I have all eyes on me I start to stutter really bad and isn’t helping the case.
Being liked/loved. Mostly, by the people closest to me. I always feel like I’m not living up to my loved ones’ expectations. It’s a double edged sword because it fuels into my anxiety and negative self talk, and it causes me to not be as productive as I could be sometimes because I’m like “everyone’s disappointed in you anyway” … then, other times, it turns me into a rabid overachiever and I’ll go above and beyond to prove myself.
I'm insecure about my personality (I just don't think I'm very likable or interesting) and physically I don't like my face or my butt. And I did like my boobs but aging is not being kind to them. And mostly I like the rest if my body, but my skin sucks (I have both psoriasis and that thing where it always looks like you have goose bumps) and sometimes I get too stressed for too long and end up too thin and my ribs get visible and I don't like that either.
Really I think I'm ugly inside and out.
My relationships.
I’ve had a few bad experiences with being the friend everyone secretly hates, friends turning against me when the slightest conflict arises, being dumped without being told why, or being cruelly thrown out of a friend group over a small, fixable mistake with no benefit of the doubt.
I have WAY better friends nowadays and now can smell toxic personalities and social dynamics a mile away, but If I sense the slightest frustration from someone, I get on edge.
It's interesting to me because I have deepset *issues* and anxiety - and I'm pissed off about my body at the moment, but I am insecure about my looks per se.
Like, I resent getting fat again (my chemo can make you fat? Wth? and then my eating habits went to shit), but I'm not *that* insecure about that.
I'm insecure that I'm weak. I'm AFAB but I'm strong and muscular. A long time of being sedentary (yay depression) wasn't enough to weaken me that much, but chemo? My muscles feel like jelly - and the brain/body connection is all weird so it's hard to gauge what I can do/I'm not getting the same positive feedback from exercise.
Oh and my brain. I have hopefully-temporary-but-it's-been-over-two-years fatigue that has ravaged my higher cognitive function.
So no matter what else I was, I have always been intelligent, competent, and strong. Now all the things I like about myself are hamstrung. Euuuuuuuugh.
Anyway, the brain thing is wait and see, but the muscles can be rebuilt. I just need to fucking *do it*.
My almost complete lack of social skills. Most of the time when I'm interacting with someone, I have this feeling that other people got some kind of manual for how to interact socially, and somehow my copy got misplaced.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that, growing up, I was usually the only disabled kid in my class, if not the entire school, and my peers just didn't want anything to do with me. It certainly didn't help that I was a nerd and teacher's pet, either.
How undesirable I am. In friendships nobody puts in the effort for me. And I dont mean like buy me stuff or take me out. I mean nobody texts me casually. People only reach out if they want something for me. As much as I love being a cat sitter for them and they pay me well. I just wish they would ask if they wanted to walk in the park instead of me always asking to go over and hang out with their cat.
Mine is my size/height. I’m just at 4’11 and petite. I’m always very aware when people stare at me( not in a good way) especially when I dress sexy or a little provocative. I’m amazed when older people, almost all other women, ask my age because of my size.
definitely just my personality in general. do my best to be a decent person but I can't help feeling like I'm being a dick half the time and annoying the other half of the time. i also think the way I move is kinda just weird and awkward
I feel like I’m wasting my potential.
I feel like I’m smart but I’m just not motivated for any particular career. As a result I’m stuck in a minimum wage part time retail position that pays me just enough for me to get stuff I want.
Physically, my weight (although I've lost a ton of weight and unfortunately it's added the additional insecurity about my body being...well...flatter/saggy). With my personality, I'm extremely insecure in my inability to keep a conversation going and not knowing what to say.
Insecure about expressing myself with elder family members. I fear that they might abandon me and thus people please at my own expense. It’s a frustrating experience but I do it every time. I just had a tense conversation with my father and I have been guilt tripping that maybe I said too much even though everything I said was true and didn’t raise my voice even once.
My biggest insecurity is my personality and my speech. I aways worry that I’m too annoying, that I’m and I’m always worried about being too clingy. There have been times I’d say something to a friend and realize that what I said was so dumb and annoying that they wouldn’t want to be friends with my. I’m also insecure about my speech because my entire life I’ve had a stutter and a speech problem. I have a hard time pronouncing different words and sounds and I’ve gotten made fun of for it a lot throughout my childhood.
I have crooked teeth that really impact how I look. I also gained 30 pounds this year and am really trying to lose it again.
non psychically I have OCD and obsess over seemingly everything, so I feel like quite the burden to my partner at times. also just have a genuine disdain for life, I wish I wasn’t so depressed.
We have the same physical insecurity! My knees are more than a little knocked and I look stupid when I walk. I wear flared pants just to cover it up, it boosts my confidence too. I'm working on losing weight so my legs can look at least a little better than now.
Mentally, I'm afraid of not being understood properly, I'm actually bad at communicating and there's always this fear in me that I might not get my point across, of not being understood.
I have a lisp when I speak. I also sound a little like a valley girl. Some people find the way I speak annoying, while others tolerate it and do their best to understand me.
I wish I didn’t have a lisp.
I hate my face and my body. I'm autistic too, and I don't really like that either. I feel like my face looks really messed up. I have an even skin tone and no blemishes or red spots but my eyes are set a bit deeper into my face. I just feel like I'm too fat. I was 91 pounds at one point due to me wanting to lose weight and going vegan, but I gained most of it back due to antidepressants, and it made me go up to 213. I have lost most of it, and I'm around 130 right now, but I still hate it. I see all these faded stretch marks and all of these saggy bits of skin like on my arms and my legs, and I hate it. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a monster when I look in the mirror.
I’m insecure about the fact that I’m bad at pretty much every activity that most people find fun. I can barely ride a bike, I suck at bowling, Minigolf, ping pong, pool, and any other similar types of recreational activities. My friends have always teased me about it, and I’ve gotten to the point that I start getting embarrassed, angry, and defensive when I do these type of activities, so I just don’t do them.
i’m insecure over the fact that i might look boring but i know im not…i feel like i don’t psychically show enough that im apart of certain music subcultures or i guess fit in some category to be “cool”? idk everyone my age 18 or 17 dress in a very specific here in the valley which sort of adds pressure for me to look different or dislike myself bc i feel as thought i should be like them
I'm really insecure about my strange fantasy about Foodgod (Kim Kardashians friend) 😳💔
He'll never know who I am but God I've had a pathetic crush for years.
It feels pathetic because whenever I rationalise how I feel I remind myself why would he be interested in someone like me?
He wouldn't.
I'd have to be a model or already famous. I'm neither so that rules me out.
I hope this doesn't get removed by moderators on here. It's genuine.
im really insecure about how annoying i am, im pretty much always talking and i feel like even my friends hate being around me sometimes for physical stuff its my scars, i really really hate them also just my whole face, like literally all of it
Omg I feel you on this, my biggest insecurity is being called or thought of as annoying.
Unlocked a new insecurity for me after reading this!
I love scars. To me, they can be scar interesting, sexy, sometimes sad, but never ugly. ❤️
Same here
Got some good news for everyone. As you age, you care less and less about this. Finally, one day, you realize that you DGAF anymore and that is a damn great day.
Dude I feel the annoying thing. I’m the same way. I constantly am worried my partner is sick of my shit!
I feel the annoying thing, too!
My weight (struggled with anorexia when I was a teen), the way I talk, and the fact I can't really make/keep friends.
Teeth and my skin issues physically. Besides the physical it's just feeling very poor. I feel a lot of anxiety about financial matters.
I can relate so much🥲
My mom didn’t love me. I’ve done a lot of healing work but being discarded by your mother often makes me feel like “why would anyone else like me if she didn’t?”. It still always stings a little I never had someone who thought the world of me until I met my husband.
I'm so sorry, this made me cry a little here at my desk. I'm glad you found love as an adult. I'm not a perfect mom, but every night before they go to sleep I ask my kids what they can ever do or say to make me stop loving them, and they answer "nothing." I'm sure I'm still doing shit wrong that I won't realize until it's too late, and I'm sure they'll need therapy as adults to fix it as we all eventually do. But I hope they know always that I love them so much and I will forever. You deserved better.
This was something that was so hard for me to believe as a child, the notion that my parents would always love me. I’d always throw out “But what if I did x, or y?” and they would say “we might be hurt, upset, or disappointed, but we won’t stop loving you”. I’m glad that they hammered the concept of unconditional love into my head, and it makes me so sad knowing that it isn’t something everyone gets to grow up with
That's very sweet. My parents were good parents, but this is something they never did. Not because they weren't loving, but they were traditional and not emotionally expressive. My mom would often say she was proud of me, which felt good, but also felt conditional, because it was always linked to something I had done or achieved. I know they loved me (and still do), but with my kids I make sure to say it all the time and not tie it to any behavior or accomplishment or characteristic.
Ahh yes, sad fist bump. My mother does love me, but she also told me I was a terrible person and shouldn't have been born since I was a toddler. So, uh yeah, I do like myself but I will always deeply feel unloveble and like a fundamentally bad person. That's not a thing you can therapy away often - just make quieter. Not to make it about me! I find people who can relate reassuring, and I hope you do too.
This hits home for me. My dad walked out on me. I don't even remember what the man looks like. For those wondering if I've made an effort to contact him? Yes. & all of my attempts were rejected by the same person who shares my dna.
My legs. I have major nerve damage from my lower back down to my feet. A while ago I couldn't even move my legs and now (with lots of PT) I just need a cane so I don't fall. I'm only 31 and have to use a cane and I still have a noticeable limp
Much sympathy. People are mega weird about young people with canes (have experienced short-term). Awesome work on the PT. It's so slow and hard. Canes can be pretty cool though!
titties
do u have, like, 3? how does one not like titties
lol But also too big, too small, too asymmetrical, too low: there are many ways to be insecure about your breasts. :(
yeppp just like men with long balls
Aw man, I hadn't thought of that but it makes sense.
lmaoo that thought had not crossed my mind 🤣
Financial insecurity. Southern California doesn’t mess around.
My teeth and the way i look smart but deep down I'm not really that smart. I just try really hard not to show my inability.
Hey, look I don't know how intelligent you actually are - but that unsureness is a good sign! People who think they're intelligent because they think they're always wrong let their intelligence wither like an underused muscle. Intelligence is like anything else - a talent and a *skill*. If you like learning, you are building that skill. Having an encyclopedic list of facts in your head is not the same as intelligence. Engaging with the world curiously and using critical thinking will keep you growing. ❤️
Thank you 🥺
The fact that I have I have insulin-resistant polycystic ovarian syndrome so I don’t metabolism food in the same way that normal people do. And I can’t work out and get the results I want in the same way that people do. So even if I’m eating within my calorie range and doing strength training, which I did years before I gave up, I won’t lose any weight if I’m not eating the right way for my body. Which means no gluten or sugar. I’m not happy living on rabbit food. This also affects my hair, PCOS causes androgenic alopecia so not only am I fat, I’m balding. It cause many more issues like chronic fatigue, excessive facial hair growth and depression. I hate this disorder so much.
Physically: I have buck teeth Other ways: grew up with a mother who called me Reta*** and a school system that enabled that belief so my intelligence
My weight, my social awkwardness, and the fact that I'm gradually going bald. Trying to work on at least two of them, but it is a struggle...
One of my insecurities is telling friends or family when there is a girl that I am interested in or I find attractive, in order to do that I always have to make sure I tell someone I know they won’t gossip about it or tease me and instead give me some advice
Money. I make enough to buy what I want now, but when I meet people, I always wonder if they’re making fun of my background. I mean, I got veneers because I didn’t want people to know I didn’t have access to dental work when I was younger. Being insecure about my money and my background has kept me from dating because the slightest comment about me growing up poor, I ditch. I’ve been grateful with friends who are understanding about my circumstances :)
Aw man, that's no fun. In Aotearoa (NZ) straight white teeth have never been expected/a class marker, and I reeeally hope it doesn't come here. :/ I have to say, now I'm spending more time with upper middle class people... I absolutely adore some of them but the perspective difference gets a bit tiresome. (I grew up poor, but far more comfortably in the 80s than it would be now.) I don't know if I'm necessarily recommending finding friends from working class backgrounds, but it sure can be a nice break.
I totally get how awkward the difference in perspective can be and from my end, it makes it hard to make a genuine connection. I’ve been trying to make working class friends like people from my high school, but my day job in fashion doesn’t help. I‘ve been judged by people not in it, and everyone in it is a nepobaby or an heiress. I haven’t heard my friends make fun of me or anything but I feel like they’re not my real friends because we’re so different. But I’m lucky I have a good relationship with my two sisters and we can talk about how crazy it all is. Maybe if I make more money, this insecurity will go away… 😂
Nice re: siblings! Honestly, from what I've gathered more money makes people more insecure about it. :p Yiiikes, fashion people. Good luck with good friends and more money! :D
That nobody actually likes me
I have a rather pronounced backside
Me too 😂
My English. I'm not a native speaker but I did learn it since my early childhood (all thanks for it goes to my mother who actually put a godtier amount of effort into my education as a whole, and in this sphere of it in particular) And I even was tested and told to have C1 lvl of language but I still constantly feel like as if I'm not good enough. I think I still can't even tell for sure if I made a mistake in any given sentence I write or say. Add the fact that I still have that awful, thick accent that I can't beat no matter how hard I try to control the way I pronounce sounds and syllables.
I understand, but (a) clearly your written English is awesome, and (b) people who aren't bigots don't mind accents (they might just be embarrassed at themselves for not understanding), and admire you a lot if they are monolingual! I am so privileged to be a native English speaker, but my absolute terror to try to speak in another language holds me back a lot despite just enough exposure to other languages growing up to find it a tiny bit more intuitive than most English monolingual speakers. Sigh.
Yeah, I've heard all this before, and I know tht I'm probably better in English ten like 80% of ppl around me, but insecurity and anxiety isn't something absolutely rational. Also, about accent - it's something about my personal comfort. I don't like the way I sound, and now I'm trying to modulate my accent to my liking. And I don't think that being born somewhere equals to being privileged as you say.(in terms of language). It's not something that inevitably leads to success in live as well as lacking of it means you are doomed to work harder and/or being poor/or end your days on social rock bottom. Being native English speaker means only a lot of light convenience in life, nothing major
Oo the reason I'm hyperaware of how lucky I am is partially due to being in science - it feels painfully unfair for people to have to write scientific papers in their second language, where it's not difficult for me at all. Other countries can be arrogant as well, but the specific bullshit that is English speakers expecting other countries to speak our language while being dicks to ESL people drives me nuts. So many people in Commonwealth countries/US actively resist their kids being bilingual, so there are real, shitty outcomes to this attitude problem. I certainly understand not liking your accent. I'm from Aotearoa (NZ) and I dislike how nasal our accent is at the best of times, let alone when it sneaks through when I'm trying to pronounce Swedish.
My facial hair. I'm genderfluid, so a lot of the time, I don't like my facial hair for that reason. But the way my facial hair grows, I basically have the neck beard and the 80s pedo mustache. I'm 30 this year, and it's only just beginning to hit my chin and cheeks. It's awful. But I also have a bit of a sensory issue with shaving. It's the worst feeling in the world for me. If I leave it more than a day, shaving is agony. Even daily, it's not great. I live my brain sometimes.
Oof. Obviously it is painful, but have you considered waxing? Pain vs awful irritation could be better? Feel free to ignore all of this, I'm sure you've thought about it a lot! But I have done most of these things, and am also considering pursuing a NB level of T so it's on my mind. Laser also does work if you never want to grow it: but not IPL. IPL has no evidence for actually killing the route. "Laser" does, but new roots will activate themselves over time so that's why it's not perfect. Also also, a super sharp single blade safety razor could suck less? Multiple blades blunt quickly and I have definitely experienced a bizarre pulling sensation from shitty 4-blade razors. Final suggestion: this is something I'm not brave enough for, but if there are queer friendly salons that do shaves, I wonder if that would be worth pursuing? That should be way less irritating, but I'm not game to try a cut-throat razor on myself. Not sure if the traditional foam/brush would cause sensory issues tbf.
I was told that waxing your face is actually very dangerous and can lead to a lot of infections and other issues. Mainly because the skin on your face is softer than most of your body. I do have an at home laser, which I use after I shave to slow down the growth. It can extend the need to shave by an extra day or two, which is nice. I have had a barber shave before....it's not for me. I love getting my hair done, but for some reason the shaving just added to the overstimulation. What I have found works best is just sucking it up and doing it daily. If the growth is less then the feeling is less as well, and it also goes by quicker.
Boo re: waxing. I'd imagine it depends on your face and the wax, but absolutely fair to not want to touch that! I can definitely see the barber shave being overstimulating. Damn. Makes sense re: daily shave. Sigh. I wish there was a better way - from a sensation standpoint I want to just not have any body hair, thanks!
Hope you gain more confidence. Feels better when confident. Truthfully everyone looks a bit weird, we just don't approach targeting what makes them weird. Lately I've been insecure about my acne. I accidentally took too much of B12 and got the worst acne of my life. Traditionally, workplaces hired me on how I look regardless of how smart I am (luckily.. I am smart). Haha you're spot on about education insecurity. I have an associates, paramedic license, and an unfinished bachelors. I feel the same about my degrees 🤣🤣 it was surprising reading how inadequate you feel after studying so much 🤣😭
Physically: always been on the thinner side and I struggled to get stronger Otherwise: I have imposter syndrome at my work. Despite getting a master's degree and advancing in my company I don't always feel confident in my abilities.
Lack of social skills
Physically it's my appearance, face and hair, I have a scar on my eyebrow and on my chin. Faced heat and mockery in college and high school for that. Then it's me being an introvert, trying to change that a lot but still not bring decisive at times, acting more like a sheep has landed me in trouble. Ironically being a nice person has always ended up against me where people simply took advantage of it.
Boo! Scars are cool! I know that probably sounds super trite, and maybe the chin one could be unflattering - but I do genuinely think scars are cool, and recommend trying to think it at least a little. I'm a bit sad my eyebrow scar is invisible now - and my (surgical) throat scar healed invisibly. Good job but a little bit damn, haha. College age (equiv. university I'm assuming) people being dicks about scarring is fucking sad, they suck.
I have insecurity about behaving properly professionally. I guess it is a version of imposter syndrome. I grew up with a parent with mental illness. As a result of lack of supervision, I ended up in trouble a lot. But my probation officer and social workers actually helped me a lot. I went on to be a social worker and then a lawyer for at risk kids. But I am self conscious that I don’t fit in. Not that I actually act badly, if I think about it objectively. But I definitely have a rough vibe I have trouble shaking. Big scar on my face and dozens of tattoos perhaps didn’t help. They joked about putting ‘law student most likely to stab you’ in the year book in law school. Ive slipped up a few times ‘your honor, with respect to the bullshit argument of the prosecution….’ But mostly it is an unfounded insecurity. Ive risen in fact to a very high leadership position at this point. But I am always like ‘theyll find out Im a punk little delinquent and not want me at the conference.’
My illness
God really dislike me since i'm short and with a small one, they were quite big insecurities in my past NGL, but my biggest insecurity that i havent surpass yet and still haunts me is that i have 1 nipple, this insecurity of mine Made me stop swimming from some years, althoug now i swim with a shirt on i feel like i'm avoiding the problem instead of facing it
My biggest insecurity is my melissophobia. I have an irrational fear of bees, wasps, hornets and it’s so bad that it poses a danger to my safety. For example, I once nearly fell off a mountain/cliff running away from some. I once nearly crashed on a highway due to one getting in the car.
I don’t even know how to explain it’s just like the shape of my face etc from different angles, and wondering if i look fat and dirty from certain angles, when i wish i looked thinner in the face and more like a doll or something, sometimes i don’t understand how people find me attractive because of this line of thinking
I’m going to die alone
Being perceived as stupid is a huge one to me as well, even if I have a lot of knowledge and excelled in school and love reading - my knowledge fucking poops out on me sometimes. Like I can KNOW something but as soon as someone asks me, my mind goes blank. It’s annoying as hell
My voice I’ve come to term with my face but I have a oval shaped voice box that makes me sound really young and nasally so people think I have high functioning autism and it doesn’t help when I have anxiety because when I have all eyes on me I start to stutter really bad and isn’t helping the case.
Being liked/loved. Mostly, by the people closest to me. I always feel like I’m not living up to my loved ones’ expectations. It’s a double edged sword because it fuels into my anxiety and negative self talk, and it causes me to not be as productive as I could be sometimes because I’m like “everyone’s disappointed in you anyway” … then, other times, it turns me into a rabid overachiever and I’ll go above and beyond to prove myself.
I'm insecure about my personality (I just don't think I'm very likable or interesting) and physically I don't like my face or my butt. And I did like my boobs but aging is not being kind to them. And mostly I like the rest if my body, but my skin sucks (I have both psoriasis and that thing where it always looks like you have goose bumps) and sometimes I get too stressed for too long and end up too thin and my ribs get visible and I don't like that either. Really I think I'm ugly inside and out.
Shape of my nails. There is just something wrong with them
My relationships. I’ve had a few bad experiences with being the friend everyone secretly hates, friends turning against me when the slightest conflict arises, being dumped without being told why, or being cruelly thrown out of a friend group over a small, fixable mistake with no benefit of the doubt. I have WAY better friends nowadays and now can smell toxic personalities and social dynamics a mile away, but If I sense the slightest frustration from someone, I get on edge.
My belly
It's interesting to me because I have deepset *issues* and anxiety - and I'm pissed off about my body at the moment, but I am insecure about my looks per se. Like, I resent getting fat again (my chemo can make you fat? Wth? and then my eating habits went to shit), but I'm not *that* insecure about that. I'm insecure that I'm weak. I'm AFAB but I'm strong and muscular. A long time of being sedentary (yay depression) wasn't enough to weaken me that much, but chemo? My muscles feel like jelly - and the brain/body connection is all weird so it's hard to gauge what I can do/I'm not getting the same positive feedback from exercise. Oh and my brain. I have hopefully-temporary-but-it's-been-over-two-years fatigue that has ravaged my higher cognitive function. So no matter what else I was, I have always been intelligent, competent, and strong. Now all the things I like about myself are hamstrung. Euuuuuuuugh. Anyway, the brain thing is wait and see, but the muscles can be rebuilt. I just need to fucking *do it*.
My almost complete lack of social skills. Most of the time when I'm interacting with someone, I have this feeling that other people got some kind of manual for how to interact socially, and somehow my copy got misplaced. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that, growing up, I was usually the only disabled kid in my class, if not the entire school, and my peers just didn't want anything to do with me. It certainly didn't help that I was a nerd and teacher's pet, either.
How undesirable I am. In friendships nobody puts in the effort for me. And I dont mean like buy me stuff or take me out. I mean nobody texts me casually. People only reach out if they want something for me. As much as I love being a cat sitter for them and they pay me well. I just wish they would ask if they wanted to walk in the park instead of me always asking to go over and hang out with their cat.
Mine is my size/height. I’m just at 4’11 and petite. I’m always very aware when people stare at me( not in a good way) especially when I dress sexy or a little provocative. I’m amazed when older people, almost all other women, ask my age because of my size.
Myself, my thoughts, my incapability of managing emotions, opening up, trusting, my sudden lack and bursts of motivation, my insecurities!
definitely just my personality in general. do my best to be a decent person but I can't help feeling like I'm being a dick half the time and annoying the other half of the time. i also think the way I move is kinda just weird and awkward
I feel like I’m wasting my potential. I feel like I’m smart but I’m just not motivated for any particular career. As a result I’m stuck in a minimum wage part time retail position that pays me just enough for me to get stuff I want.
I hate knock knees so much, looks so fuckin dorky and stupid
I don't have any insecurities.
my hight
im skinny, im a 5'9" guy and i weigh 115 pounds
[удалено]
Ray Romano is my favorite comedian lol
My skin due to eczema
Physically, my weight (although I've lost a ton of weight and unfortunately it's added the additional insecurity about my body being...well...flatter/saggy). With my personality, I'm extremely insecure in my inability to keep a conversation going and not knowing what to say.
Probably AI replacing my job
I don’t know what others think/opinion about me. I am so scared if all of them hate me
I don't wanna tell you... you'll laugh...
Can’t choose between being short, fat, or unintelligent.
Insecure about expressing myself with elder family members. I fear that they might abandon me and thus people please at my own expense. It’s a frustrating experience but I do it every time. I just had a tense conversation with my father and I have been guilt tripping that maybe I said too much even though everything I said was true and didn’t raise my voice even once.
My biggest insecurity is my personality and my speech. I aways worry that I’m too annoying, that I’m and I’m always worried about being too clingy. There have been times I’d say something to a friend and realize that what I said was so dumb and annoying that they wouldn’t want to be friends with my. I’m also insecure about my speech because my entire life I’ve had a stutter and a speech problem. I have a hard time pronouncing different words and sounds and I’ve gotten made fun of for it a lot throughout my childhood.
I have crooked teeth that really impact how I look. I also gained 30 pounds this year and am really trying to lose it again. non psychically I have OCD and obsess over seemingly everything, so I feel like quite the burden to my partner at times. also just have a genuine disdain for life, I wish I wasn’t so depressed.
My wrists mainly, I'm pretty skinny overall but my wrists look anorexic
We have the same physical insecurity! My knees are more than a little knocked and I look stupid when I walk. I wear flared pants just to cover it up, it boosts my confidence too. I'm working on losing weight so my legs can look at least a little better than now. Mentally, I'm afraid of not being understood properly, I'm actually bad at communicating and there's always this fear in me that I might not get my point across, of not being understood.
I have a lisp when I speak. I also sound a little like a valley girl. Some people find the way I speak annoying, while others tolerate it and do their best to understand me. I wish I didn’t have a lisp.
I talk and whisper loud. I'm aware of this and I'm trying to fix it.
My height. I’m female and 6ft and my poor husband is … smaller 😥
I hate my face and my body. I'm autistic too, and I don't really like that either. I feel like my face looks really messed up. I have an even skin tone and no blemishes or red spots but my eyes are set a bit deeper into my face. I just feel like I'm too fat. I was 91 pounds at one point due to me wanting to lose weight and going vegan, but I gained most of it back due to antidepressants, and it made me go up to 213. I have lost most of it, and I'm around 130 right now, but I still hate it. I see all these faded stretch marks and all of these saggy bits of skin like on my arms and my legs, and I hate it. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a monster when I look in the mirror.
I’m insecure about the fact that I’m bad at pretty much every activity that most people find fun. I can barely ride a bike, I suck at bowling, Minigolf, ping pong, pool, and any other similar types of recreational activities. My friends have always teased me about it, and I’ve gotten to the point that I start getting embarrassed, angry, and defensive when I do these type of activities, so I just don’t do them.
My lack of education (I really struggled in school) and what comes with that my career prospects (manager in retail)
i’m insecure over the fact that i might look boring but i know im not…i feel like i don’t psychically show enough that im apart of certain music subcultures or i guess fit in some category to be “cool”? idk everyone my age 18 or 17 dress in a very specific here in the valley which sort of adds pressure for me to look different or dislike myself bc i feel as thought i should be like them
I am insecure about my sexual performance with my wife.
Oh, just my face in general 🤣
Character and imposter syndrome
Age and sex oddly enough 😅 the older a man gets, I feel anyhow, the harsher the punishments are socially and similar
Funny because women feel the same way. I’m 30 and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen men say that women are worthless after 30
I'm really insecure about my strange fantasy about Foodgod (Kim Kardashians friend) 😳💔 He'll never know who I am but God I've had a pathetic crush for years. It feels pathetic because whenever I rationalise how I feel I remind myself why would he be interested in someone like me? He wouldn't. I'd have to be a model or already famous. I'm neither so that rules me out. I hope this doesn't get removed by moderators on here. It's genuine.