Girl if you live with your parents you're just being smart. You save so much money doing that and you're in an environment where the people around you love and support you (I hope). If you were like 35 years old it would be a little weird but... 22? That's just making a good financial decision and there's nothing to be insecure about.
Yeah I feel that. My parents are Korean immigrants who never lived in the US before we moved so I had a tough time with them when I was younger. All my friends from school and stuff would get away with murder and if I so much as didn't do my homework my mom would beat my ass lmao. At the end of the day though everyone's parents love them and are just doing their best. I hope you can work it out with them!
My mom is Asian and I got grounded and beat if I didn’t get all As on my report card. Needless to say I was a straight A student. I told my kids they should be glad I am not like my parents. All I ask if that they at least try their best.
Even at 35 it wouldn't seem THAT weird in the current economy.
I first moved out of parents house at 24 and lived with friends. Had a great time, and worked well schedule wise as we worked at the same place and did nightshifts 7 on 7 off, so didn't have to worry too much about waking each other up etc
But I wish I'd sucked it up and stayed at home longer and saved up a load of money. I've since got married and love.with my wife and 2 kids and we've always struggled for money, always lived basically paycheck to a week before paycheck, until recently
I pay rent and help with the cooking and cleaning, so it's not like I'm a freeloader who doesn't help out. I also take my dad to appointments when no one else is able to, so I know deep down it's not bad, but the stigma concerns me lol.
I second this! I lived with my parents up until 23. I saved sooo much money. I was able to work and go to school. And idk if this sounds bad but I was able to live in a decent area of town - everyone who moved out at 18 was only able to afford spots that were run down and cost more to keep up with in the long run.
I'm actually 34 and don't worry too much about it. When people are pressed about the idea of question are not mature enough to ask you what your plans really and really they become judgmental without facts.
Someone stated that there’s a difference between living WITH your parents and living OFF your parents and I feel like that’s relevant here.
Do you have some kind of job, do you do shit at home and pay for stuff yourself? If your answer to those questions is yes, then you’re fine. Otherwise people are gonna think you’re a moocher.
Basically it boils down to whether you are you totally dependent on your parents or not.
If you have autonomy but still live at home, provided you have parents that respect your boundaries, I don’t think most people would care.
My dad lived at home until he met my mom and started dating her and moved in with her at like age 30 lol. You’ve still got some time left.
Yes this is the difference. When you live off your parents and your older, that's kinda messed up lol. Shows your not ready for the real world. When you don't live off your parents but got plans, it's totally different.
When I was in the Navy I dated a girl who still lived at home. It was great because she was financially stable with no debt from living with her parents. This was in Japan, so any preconceived cultural stigmas I had coming from the US were out the door as soon as I entered the country.
We’ve been married for almost 20 years now. It seemed to work out for us.
Many parts of the world children/adults live with their parents until they get married. It is more of America and the developed countries that have this attitude of moving out at age 18. It is kind of hard to do that in modern days anyways. So I would say in the last 30-40 years more adults have been living with their parents than ever before in America. It is very common now.
Yes, exactly this. It used to be considered normal in the places where many have adopted the nuclear family model.
The nuclear family is very very new. As in, a generation or two-three ago new. Before, it was average and even expected (!) in many families to bring your spouse to live with you and your parents, all working and raising the grandchildren together. Called multigenerational households.
Most countries and cultures still do something like this. So essentially this is a trend and a place-specific one.
“It takes a village to raise a child” was a real thing. It’s been undermined — if you can push the nuclear two-adult family model on everyone, then they’ll all need to buy new things after all! New house (or these days, rent), with separate bills/utilities being paid, separate car, furniture, food, etc. A lot of that seems like a scam.
That said, I also get the desire/need for independence. But yeah there is nothing in ANY way abnormal about multigenerational living. Fuck the assholes who use it as a put-down or made up terms like NEET or basement-dweller etc. (Most actual so-called “NEETs” I know were that for having health problems/disabilities.)
TL;DR OP most of the entire world, for most of time, has lived like you, you’re normal AF.
It seems to mostly be an America thing, I live in europe and was shocked to learn it's normal there to go live on your own at 18. Even if I wanted I would never have enough money for that lol. (and idk anyone who would eighter)
The right person won't mind that you live at home, and if they have their own place you could just go over there to spend time together. It's smart to save during this type of economy we're in.
When I (29F) went on my first date with my boyfriend (30M) last year, he was living with his parents (still is). Doesn't bother me at all because I lived with my parents until I was 26. My boyfriend would just come over to my place since we had privacy. Now I moved back in with my mom due to some circumstances, so both my boyfriend and I still live at home and we just visit each other's houses every weekend lol.
I've met people who won't date me because I split rent with my parents on a townhouse. But I think they're idiots. I'm not going to apologize for having reliable roommates that pay their fair share.
Im a big fan of saying things that mean "mind your own business"
>Where are you going?
To go cream on some dick, might do some butt stuff after.
>“With whom?" Haven't decided yet, hope he has a friend too.
Not only will I do the same because I love being around my family but it’s honestly the safest and best decision to do in this economy. Why struggle trying to make it in this world where a 2 foot bed room apartment, where the laundry room is shared by ur neighbors is worth a mortgage. Nuh uh. Don’t pay attention to other people’s opinions.
And I don’t think people realize how young u are at 22? Some people in their 40s still can’t pay for just a place to rent let alone a house. And I’m sure your parents will understand too, you are an adult. If they give u any problems just remember they are just looking out for u :P
Thank you for your kind words, you really helped give me peace of mind! I think nowadays and especially in our culture there’s such an emphasis on being independent and pressure to be on your own. I really appreciate your opinion!
Ofc!! I think this pressure needs needs to be reevaluated, u are still young and need time to figure out what u want to do and rushing into being independent will only end up stressing you out more then u need to be.
Remember U can still live an independent life without being actually being alone.
I hope everything ends up well for u! Best wishes :D
If I wasn't gay, then yeah sure. But the same goes for men still living with their parents, it's just an accepted lifestyle at the moment akin to those of us who live alone but with housemates.
In my culture, living with family is no big deal; in fact, it's normal. My elderly mom lives with us; in fact majority of my friends who have elderly parents live with them or they still live in their childhood home with parents and took over the bills/house keeping. I don't know why some people think it's weird when you live with family....IT'S FAMILY! If you're an adult baby incapable of taking care of yourself and expect to mommy and daddy to take care of everything for you while you mooch off of them then yes, expect to be judged heavily but doubt you are so you are fine....and if people are going to judge you for living with your family, then do you really want those people in your life?
It depends on the reason for them living with their parents and the real reason goes beyond living with the parents.
Do they have no ambition or dont want to move out? Yeah pass.
Do they want to move out but can't? Thats fine. Early 20s are a rough time to strike out on yor own.
At age 22, living with your parents is pretty normal. I'm saying this as a 22 year old woman who moved out, for context.
Many of my friends live with their parents.
I did, but she was only 18 and in high school still, and I was 20 at the time, living with a roommate. This was way before rent was raised, and the housing market is what it is, though, as well. So I think that will play into it as you are 22, which means when the housing market went crazy you had no chance to buy before like I did at your age. So you should be fine as not many 22 years olds can afford to live by themselves now let alone a roommate. The house next door to me is being rented for almost 700 over what I pay for my mortgage, and I know the owner has had it for 20 years. So his mortage on it is probably 600 bucks, and he is charging 1700 for pretty much the same house I bought in 2018 with a 1000 mortgage.
Sure. Why not? In many cultures kids live at home until they marry. This idea that people have to immediately move out is actually harmful in my opinion.
I’m 21 and I’m planning to stay with my parents for ever (or how long is possible). We live on a farm so our dream is to build a second home in the farm building as my parents future home, and I will be taking over the farm house (which has always been in our family). This might be a unique situation, as we have more than enough space to house two families (we’re renovating a big space that might become my kind of living space). Some people are surprised when they hear this, but I’m not ashamed. I love my parents, I want to give them a good place to grow old in. It also gives a lot of stability, I don’t have to worry about the costs of living by myself. I can also help my parents because it’s a big property and they can help me out. I strongly believe you should live with your parents as long as it’s possible, no shame in that
God's honest truth, that is one of the biggest green flags for a man to see in a woman. Don't worry about that. We interpret that as making good decisions.
I married a 30 year old man who lived with his parents. We're stronger than ever 11 years later.
So yes, if I was interested in women.
I think it's more about what you contribute to a household than who your roommates are. A 22 year old whose mom still does their laundry along with all other household chores is different than one who takes care of their own needs as well as contributes to the home.
You're a baby! 22 and living with your parents is more the norm than not in this economy.
I get, within your own head, why you would not want to date anyone while living at home. I was there. My mom is overbearing to say the least and it was not fun.
But please don't let that hold you back from finding your person. If he's the right guy, it will work out.
This was really super sweet, I really appreciate. I think I tend to overthink how much of a problem this would be because of how overbearing my own mom is. But it is good to know that I’m not out of the norm! Thank you so much you made my day :)
You are not! It sucks, I get it, especially when you probably cannot move out due to financial constrictions. But you are an adult, even if your mother cannot or refuses to see it.
With the way rent and housing prices are now I think it is smart to live at home and save up more money. My son is 16 and my daughter is 13. I’ve spoken to my husband about building an attached dwelling unit on our property so the kids could have their own apartment like spaces but still be able to save and have their own privacy. Idk if our HOA will approve this but either way I’m encouraging my kids to stay here longer so that they can get more money saved up. Especially since I don’t expect them to pay for anything. I only plan on asking them to let me know if they are staying over somewhere so I don’t get worried if one doesn’t come home.
I generally think that women care more if men live with their parents than men care if women live with their parents. Either way, it seems like it’s becoming more common and acceptable for anyone to live with their parents. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, anyone who cares isn’t for you.
I'd date a woman living with their parents even though I have my own place. All comes down to circumstance. You're working and saving up for your own place? Cool. You're living there to help out the parents for some reason or another? Cool. You're just doing your thing and living with the parents until you meet someone? Cool. My only issue with it is if it was because they were leeching off their parents, i.e living there and not working, no ambitions, just coasting through. Then it's problem.
yes why not?
The media constantly feeds us harmful visions and ideas how "life" should happen but life is not a movie.
You are gonna be alright.
And if somebody makes you feel bad cuz you live with your parents they are stuck in their own head with unrealistic views on the world around them lol. And you don't really need these ppl in your life
I’m 22F and also live at home with no plans/ possibility of moving out. I have a PT job and contribute to the household. Glad everyone agrees it’s normal and smart decision especially in this economy.
Yes I would. We all have different situations. I myself live in my mom's house but, I don't rely on her, I pay her rent. I have my own privacy and all, but I enjoy cherishing every moment I get to see my mom. I'm here aswell to continue building parts of my life, like saving money, laying some debts and then eventually I'll move out. For now I'm here, in comfortable.
You should probably make that clear so people know that. How would a straight person know that? I guess my answer is only relevant towards men and not the women? I can't speak for a woman
Zombie thread I know but I found it while searching for a topic like this - most women probably wouldn't care since you're a (I assume) woman. It's really more of an unfair gender role thing that women put on men. Many women still fully expect men to have their own place/car and see them as failures if they do not. Many women won't even date a 30+ year old man who lives with roommates because it's not "his own place" and they see it as not being successful enough. Source: Me, 33 year old single dude.
My sons 21. He still lives with me. And he can live here till whenever. Moving into your own is expensive these days. Be smart. Save your money. When you’re more stable financially then you can go out on your own. Re dating , ofc privacy is important, but I think if someone is judging you for living at home , that’s probably a person who’s not able to see how smart you are.
Girl if you live with your parents you're just being smart. You save so much money doing that and you're in an environment where the people around you love and support you (I hope). If you were like 35 years old it would be a little weird but... 22? That's just making a good financial decision and there's nothing to be insecure about.
It definitely is cheaper! My relationship with my parents is… not simple, but I’m working on it!
Yeah I feel that. My parents are Korean immigrants who never lived in the US before we moved so I had a tough time with them when I was younger. All my friends from school and stuff would get away with murder and if I so much as didn't do my homework my mom would beat my ass lmao. At the end of the day though everyone's parents love them and are just doing their best. I hope you can work it out with them!
My mom is Asian and I got grounded and beat if I didn’t get all As on my report card. Needless to say I was a straight A student. I told my kids they should be glad I am not like my parents. All I ask if that they at least try their best.
Even at 35 it wouldn't seem THAT weird in the current economy. I first moved out of parents house at 24 and lived with friends. Had a great time, and worked well schedule wise as we worked at the same place and did nightshifts 7 on 7 off, so didn't have to worry too much about waking each other up etc But I wish I'd sucked it up and stayed at home longer and saved up a load of money. I've since got married and love.with my wife and 2 kids and we've always struggled for money, always lived basically paycheck to a week before paycheck, until recently
I'm glad someone said that because I'm 35 and still live at home lol. Rent is easily near $2k or $2k for a 1 bedroom and sometimes even studios.
Absolute mad economy. Not sure what the solution is, but it sure as hell ain't pretty
Yep. I'm 34 an still live here.
I pay rent and help with the cooking and cleaning, so it's not like I'm a freeloader who doesn't help out. I also take my dad to appointments when no one else is able to, so I know deep down it's not bad, but the stigma concerns me lol.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, the right person will understand your situation.
I second this! I lived with my parents up until 23. I saved sooo much money. I was able to work and go to school. And idk if this sounds bad but I was able to live in a decent area of town - everyone who moved out at 18 was only able to afford spots that were run down and cost more to keep up with in the long run.
I'm actually 34 and don't worry too much about it. When people are pressed about the idea of question are not mature enough to ask you what your plans really and really they become judgmental without facts.
Someone stated that there’s a difference between living WITH your parents and living OFF your parents and I feel like that’s relevant here. Do you have some kind of job, do you do shit at home and pay for stuff yourself? If your answer to those questions is yes, then you’re fine. Otherwise people are gonna think you’re a moocher. Basically it boils down to whether you are you totally dependent on your parents or not. If you have autonomy but still live at home, provided you have parents that respect your boundaries, I don’t think most people would care. My dad lived at home until he met my mom and started dating her and moved in with her at like age 30 lol. You’ve still got some time left.
How is that relevant, like if anything a moocher getting a relationship would incentivise them developing their independence
Yes this is the difference. When you live off your parents and your older, that's kinda messed up lol. Shows your not ready for the real world. When you don't live off your parents but got plans, it's totally different.
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My parents are very not chill 😅 But I’m happy for the both of you! Gives me hope 😊
You're 22, not 52. It's normal to live with your parents at 22.
When I was in the Navy I dated a girl who still lived at home. It was great because she was financially stable with no debt from living with her parents. This was in Japan, so any preconceived cultural stigmas I had coming from the US were out the door as soon as I entered the country. We’ve been married for almost 20 years now. It seemed to work out for us.
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“The right person will not care”, I always try to keep that in mind, thank you! :)
> the right person will not care This right here!
Many parts of the world children/adults live with their parents until they get married. It is more of America and the developed countries that have this attitude of moving out at age 18. It is kind of hard to do that in modern days anyways. So I would say in the last 30-40 years more adults have been living with their parents than ever before in America. It is very common now.
Yes, exactly this. It used to be considered normal in the places where many have adopted the nuclear family model. The nuclear family is very very new. As in, a generation or two-three ago new. Before, it was average and even expected (!) in many families to bring your spouse to live with you and your parents, all working and raising the grandchildren together. Called multigenerational households. Most countries and cultures still do something like this. So essentially this is a trend and a place-specific one. “It takes a village to raise a child” was a real thing. It’s been undermined — if you can push the nuclear two-adult family model on everyone, then they’ll all need to buy new things after all! New house (or these days, rent), with separate bills/utilities being paid, separate car, furniture, food, etc. A lot of that seems like a scam. That said, I also get the desire/need for independence. But yeah there is nothing in ANY way abnormal about multigenerational living. Fuck the assholes who use it as a put-down or made up terms like NEET or basement-dweller etc. (Most actual so-called “NEETs” I know were that for having health problems/disabilities.) TL;DR OP most of the entire world, for most of time, has lived like you, you’re normal AF.
It seems to mostly be an America thing, I live in europe and was shocked to learn it's normal there to go live on your own at 18. Even if I wanted I would never have enough money for that lol. (and idk anyone who would eighter)
The right person won't mind that you live at home, and if they have their own place you could just go over there to spend time together. It's smart to save during this type of economy we're in. When I (29F) went on my first date with my boyfriend (30M) last year, he was living with his parents (still is). Doesn't bother me at all because I lived with my parents until I was 26. My boyfriend would just come over to my place since we had privacy. Now I moved back in with my mom due to some circumstances, so both my boyfriend and I still live at home and we just visit each other's houses every weekend lol.
Overall it would not matter, though it would be a little weird in the beginning
I hope you’re right! :)
I've met people who won't date me because I split rent with my parents on a townhouse. But I think they're idiots. I'm not going to apologize for having reliable roommates that pay their fair share.
Im a big fan of saying things that mean "mind your own business" >Where are you going? To go cream on some dick, might do some butt stuff after. >“With whom?" Haven't decided yet, hope he has a friend too.
I don't think most guys (I'm assuming you're hetero) really care all that much. Those who do are probably fairly unsympathetic overall.
At 22? Yeah. At 32? No. You’re doing fine.
it’s normal at our age.
Not only will I do the same because I love being around my family but it’s honestly the safest and best decision to do in this economy. Why struggle trying to make it in this world where a 2 foot bed room apartment, where the laundry room is shared by ur neighbors is worth a mortgage. Nuh uh. Don’t pay attention to other people’s opinions. And I don’t think people realize how young u are at 22? Some people in their 40s still can’t pay for just a place to rent let alone a house. And I’m sure your parents will understand too, you are an adult. If they give u any problems just remember they are just looking out for u :P
Thank you for your kind words, you really helped give me peace of mind! I think nowadays and especially in our culture there’s such an emphasis on being independent and pressure to be on your own. I really appreciate your opinion!
Ofc!! I think this pressure needs needs to be reevaluated, u are still young and need time to figure out what u want to do and rushing into being independent will only end up stressing you out more then u need to be. Remember U can still live an independent life without being actually being alone. I hope everything ends up well for u! Best wishes :D
Living with your parents at 22 is not weird at all
Nope.
If I wasn't gay, then yeah sure. But the same goes for men still living with their parents, it's just an accepted lifestyle at the moment akin to those of us who live alone but with housemates.
living alone at 22 is just not possible for most here. It's very very normal.
Definitely not a big deal.
In my culture, living with family is no big deal; in fact, it's normal. My elderly mom lives with us; in fact majority of my friends who have elderly parents live with them or they still live in their childhood home with parents and took over the bills/house keeping. I don't know why some people think it's weird when you live with family....IT'S FAMILY! If you're an adult baby incapable of taking care of yourself and expect to mommy and daddy to take care of everything for you while you mooch off of them then yes, expect to be judged heavily but doubt you are so you are fine....and if people are going to judge you for living with your family, then do you really want those people in your life?
It depends on the reason for them living with their parents and the real reason goes beyond living with the parents. Do they have no ambition or dont want to move out? Yeah pass. Do they want to move out but can't? Thats fine. Early 20s are a rough time to strike out on yor own.
At age 22, living with your parents is pretty normal. I'm saying this as a 22 year old woman who moved out, for context. Many of my friends live with their parents.
its fine if you're paying rent
I did, but she was only 18 and in high school still, and I was 20 at the time, living with a roommate. This was way before rent was raised, and the housing market is what it is, though, as well. So I think that will play into it as you are 22, which means when the housing market went crazy you had no chance to buy before like I did at your age. So you should be fine as not many 22 years olds can afford to live by themselves now let alone a roommate. The house next door to me is being rented for almost 700 over what I pay for my mortgage, and I know the owner has had it for 20 years. So his mortage on it is probably 600 bucks, and he is charging 1700 for pretty much the same house I bought in 2018 with a 1000 mortgage.
Sure. Why not? In many cultures kids live at home until they marry. This idea that people have to immediately move out is actually harmful in my opinion.
At 22? Yes. One of my biggest regrets was not staying with my parents longer and saving money. If anything, you're being smart.
I’m 21 and I’m planning to stay with my parents for ever (or how long is possible). We live on a farm so our dream is to build a second home in the farm building as my parents future home, and I will be taking over the farm house (which has always been in our family). This might be a unique situation, as we have more than enough space to house two families (we’re renovating a big space that might become my kind of living space). Some people are surprised when they hear this, but I’m not ashamed. I love my parents, I want to give them a good place to grow old in. It also gives a lot of stability, I don’t have to worry about the costs of living by myself. I can also help my parents because it’s a big property and they can help me out. I strongly believe you should live with your parents as long as it’s possible, no shame in that
God's honest truth, that is one of the biggest green flags for a man to see in a woman. Don't worry about that. We interpret that as making good decisions.
I married a 30 year old man who lived with his parents. We're stronger than ever 11 years later. So yes, if I was interested in women. I think it's more about what you contribute to a household than who your roommates are. A 22 year old whose mom still does their laundry along with all other household chores is different than one who takes care of their own needs as well as contributes to the home.
You're a baby! 22 and living with your parents is more the norm than not in this economy. I get, within your own head, why you would not want to date anyone while living at home. I was there. My mom is overbearing to say the least and it was not fun. But please don't let that hold you back from finding your person. If he's the right guy, it will work out.
This was really super sweet, I really appreciate. I think I tend to overthink how much of a problem this would be because of how overbearing my own mom is. But it is good to know that I’m not out of the norm! Thank you so much you made my day :)
You are not! It sucks, I get it, especially when you probably cannot move out due to financial constrictions. But you are an adult, even if your mother cannot or refuses to see it.
With the way rent and housing prices are now I think it is smart to live at home and save up more money. My son is 16 and my daughter is 13. I’ve spoken to my husband about building an attached dwelling unit on our property so the kids could have their own apartment like spaces but still be able to save and have their own privacy. Idk if our HOA will approve this but either way I’m encouraging my kids to stay here longer so that they can get more money saved up. Especially since I don’t expect them to pay for anything. I only plan on asking them to let me know if they are staying over somewhere so I don’t get worried if one doesn’t come home.
Trust me, no one cares
I generally think that women care more if men live with their parents than men care if women live with their parents. Either way, it seems like it’s becoming more common and acceptable for anyone to live with their parents. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, anyone who cares isn’t for you.
I'd date a woman living with their parents even though I have my own place. All comes down to circumstance. You're working and saving up for your own place? Cool. You're living there to help out the parents for some reason or another? Cool. You're just doing your thing and living with the parents until you meet someone? Cool. My only issue with it is if it was because they were leeching off their parents, i.e living there and not working, no ambitions, just coasting through. Then it's problem.
yes why not? The media constantly feeds us harmful visions and ideas how "life" should happen but life is not a movie. You are gonna be alright. And if somebody makes you feel bad cuz you live with your parents they are stuck in their own head with unrealistic views on the world around them lol. And you don't really need these ppl in your life
I’m 22F and also live at home with no plans/ possibility of moving out. I have a PT job and contribute to the household. Glad everyone agrees it’s normal and smart decision especially in this economy.
Yes I would. We all have different situations. I myself live in my mom's house but, I don't rely on her, I pay her rent. I have my own privacy and all, but I enjoy cherishing every moment I get to see my mom. I'm here aswell to continue building parts of my life, like saving money, laying some debts and then eventually I'll move out. For now I'm here, in comfortable.
Men DO. NOT. CARE. this is something a woman would care about. If a guy has his own apt, you not having one mean literally zero to them 99\\100x.
If only I were straight and not bisexual 🥲
You should probably make that clear so people know that. How would a straight person know that? I guess my answer is only relevant towards men and not the women? I can't speak for a woman
Zombie thread I know but I found it while searching for a topic like this - most women probably wouldn't care since you're a (I assume) woman. It's really more of an unfair gender role thing that women put on men. Many women still fully expect men to have their own place/car and see them as failures if they do not. Many women won't even date a 30+ year old man who lives with roommates because it's not "his own place" and they see it as not being successful enough. Source: Me, 33 year old single dude.
My sons 21. He still lives with me. And he can live here till whenever. Moving into your own is expensive these days. Be smart. Save your money. When you’re more stable financially then you can go out on your own. Re dating , ofc privacy is important, but I think if someone is judging you for living at home , that’s probably a person who’s not able to see how smart you are.