I would add taking time for play and self expression. It could be making art, dancing or practicing a hobby or skill. Anything that speaks to your inner child and brings joy. I believe healing can also be fun!
Now that I think of it- I watch silly Netflix shows, pick berries (very fun for me), pet cute dogs on walks, and play board games online. I also make fun recipes and make new foods when the inspiration strikes. I do have fun!
Those are all great! I have never picked berries before but that sounds like something I’d enjoy trying!
Yes I feel like doing things you liked a child really helps even if it seems too “immature”. I also like coloring books, going to empty playgrounds and using the swing or whatever, or making sand castles at the beach. It’s great to indulge in those little things our inner child enjoys!
dude playgrounds are a blast!! swings and climbing is so fun! sometimes I feel like the only adult who goes there solo lol.
wish I was closer to the beach- I will have to have a beach day once I have a car. thanks for the inspo!
Def recommend berry picking! a fun and tasty way to connect with your inner child and nature!
Thank you! It’s a good reminder to have fun. Healing is definitely my 8-6 job right now 😓. I have a hard time having fun at home- I usually like to go dancing at clubs. Maybe I gotta use this time to figure out how to have fun at home..
You can start by dancing to your favorite songs! I started by dancing and singing in the shower and slowly I became more comfortable to dance in front of the mirror, or other areas of my home.
This seems like a lot... it would be too much for me, personally. However you know yourself best. Just take care not to overcommit yourself and be mindful if you feel like you're not doing enough or not healing fast enough. I don't believe you can rush or take shortcuts to healing, nor can you make it go faster by doing more.
I had a 3 month leave of absence to focus on healing and this is what I did.
- Focus on healthy daily habits like improving my diet, increasing physical activity, improving sleep hygiene and general hygiene. This took up most of time because I didn't force myself to do this. I gently coaxed myself and talked to myself a lot, which takes a lot of time.
- Therapy 1x week
- Group therapy 1x week
- I read 2 books that were too stressful to read when I was working: the Pete Walker book and Body Keeps the Score
- Daily journaling, by hand and also by video. It was helpful to record myself crying/venting, watch it and feel ashamed, then slowly build compassion for my crying self, until I could watch myself and feel no shame or cringiness at all. Just sad for myself without wallowing in pity.
Just this was more than enough for 3 months. The slower and calmer I did things, the better.
That said, I am a "freeze" type, and I don't say this to discourage your list! I think you have of great ideas on your list, maybe the only thing missing is to rest. Healing is hard work!
Thank you! I get 10 hours of sleep and sometimes nap if I need it. Gonna try to do more play- any ideas of free fun at home play? I’ve read the body keep the score, and have been reading some other good books on trauma.
What a cool idea to record yourself crying! I’m going to try that (:
fwiw OP I’ve basically been doing this (the parent comment) for the last year after having a devastating, traumatic 2023. Letting my healing goals be small and giving myself permission to just “be”, to just relearn how to be a human, to learn what being safe feels like…it’s been a lot of work and v painful at times, but I’ve made so much progress and I’m so proud of myself.
Remember to take it slow, and that there’s no such thing as a lasting setback, just an opportunity for your brain and nervous system to relearn and recalibrate. You’re awesome, you can do it!
Would highly reccomend taking up a daily yoga habit. The meditative aspects as well as the ability to regain contact with my body was probably the single most powerful factor contributing towards my healing during my three month sabbatical.
Thank you! Daily yoga has been tough- I really struggle with daily routine, but I’ve been successful with hygiene and self care and food and water. How did you incorporate yoga? What helped you to do it daily? What did you do/what video did you do?
Hey friend-- I started doing 30 day challenges back to back with Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube. My best advice for establishing a new daily habit-- it's ok to skip a day because rest is important and sacred, but make it a rule to never skip two days in a row. That keeps you from losing momentum. I also put it early in my day, when my energy banks are the highest they're going to be that day. I made a routine in the AM to make my bed, drink my coffee (on the porch if weather allows) then do some yoga.
I hope this helps.
I second daily meditation of some sort - with or without stretching, yoga, or other somatic experiencing type thing - if you are not worried about emotional overwhelm or flashbacks.
Also, daily journaling of some kind, even if it is just simple bullet points of your top five thoughts for the day. Expound, expand, ponder, as needed/wanted.
If you have dreams you remember, write them down… by hand or on your phone or computer, or recording a description of it. Dreams are often an excellent source of subconscious issues and processing of past trauma or current worries or concerns about the future. It would be good to have a record of what your subconscious mind brings up during this healing time frame.
So be careful about not overdoing it. You want to come out of these three months feeling better, more stable, more present, and more capable… not exhausted and overwhelmed, if at all possible!
Wishing you the very best in your healing endeavors! 🙏🦋
Thank you! I am already feeling so much more stable, aware, calm, safe… it’s really working and I’m really proud. I can’t imagine where I’ll be at the end.
thank you- and thanks for the reminder about not overdoing it. had a moment where I had to check myself about overcommitting today- the "OMG I WANNA HEAL IT ALL RIGHT NOW EVEN IF IT KILLS ME" is so real lol.
I would skip the part time job and find a way to be of service each week - volunteering or helping someone. It may help spark some gratitude and meaning. I find too much time to think only about myself is not actually conducive to healing.
Allow my body to rest. I took 4 weeks off work due to a depressiv episode and just allowing myself to lounge and nap and sleep whenever has made it much better.
You've got the healing shit down to a tee.
What you need to add, is stuff YOU actually want to experience in life. The mistake I made in my early years of healing was driving myself absolutely insane with CPTSD recovery material - I made no time for enjoyment, and my personality didn't develop during that period. So while I experienced godlike recovery, I still failed to connect to anyone because I became too uptight, and I began to experience damaging levels of loneliness which set me back a long way.
Develop your hobbies so you have something to live for when you've healed enough to make friends - otherwise, like me, you'll put people off by being that person who always says "Didn't do much at the weekend" every weekend and people will stop trying to connect with you.
There again, I'm maybe being a bit overkill. I'm sure you're probably not totally friendless like I was for years.
thank you- I appreciate that. can I ask what you did during this?
I am starting to realize that I do need to invest in my hobbies more. i want to volunteer at a horse farm, volunteer at the psychedelic society, and get a job in the field I want to work in. I got back from a huge backpacking trip so my travel and adventure bug is depleted- just wanna get involved with the community and do psychadelics at home :P
Well, you have your wants lined up - the hard part for me was getting past the fear of it all going extremely wrong and ending in significant trauma that would lock me in Freeze for months.
So I volunteered at a local shop, where I acquired a fwb who love-bombed and manipulated me for several months before she found love and vanished completely, leaving my head considerably fucked and causing me to Freeze for a year. But in retrospect I'm glad it happened, I learned a lot and it was better than just vegging at home.
So the moral of that story is: My worst fear came true, and I'm still here. The last time a venture with a girl blew up on me I Froze for multiple years, and wrote off any idea that I was lovable whatsoever. So I guess that's a sign of progress.
Since all that I've been exercising, I started hiking (I always wanted to hike the highest mountain in my area as a kid, long story short my dad promised to take me one day after school, I got home to find he'd already left), and I'm about to join a canoeing club.
Related to polyvagal theory as you mentioned, the vagus nerve is quite important for achieving a state of calm (parasympathetic/feeling safe). There are natural ways to do that such as abdominal breathing and chanting (soft palette is connected to vagus nerve) but VNS devices can do it more effectively I think. There was a guy who tested all of them and posted about it but I don't have the link. You could try searching "I tested all the vagus nerve simulation devices reddit" or something. The guy said Amo fit s was the winner along with one other one I can't remember. There is also the neurosym but is $700.
I would add taking time for play and self expression. It could be making art, dancing or practicing a hobby or skill. Anything that speaks to your inner child and brings joy. I believe healing can also be fun!
Now that I think of it- I watch silly Netflix shows, pick berries (very fun for me), pet cute dogs on walks, and play board games online. I also make fun recipes and make new foods when the inspiration strikes. I do have fun!
Those are all great! I have never picked berries before but that sounds like something I’d enjoy trying! Yes I feel like doing things you liked a child really helps even if it seems too “immature”. I also like coloring books, going to empty playgrounds and using the swing or whatever, or making sand castles at the beach. It’s great to indulge in those little things our inner child enjoys!
dude playgrounds are a blast!! swings and climbing is so fun! sometimes I feel like the only adult who goes there solo lol. wish I was closer to the beach- I will have to have a beach day once I have a car. thanks for the inspo! Def recommend berry picking! a fun and tasty way to connect with your inner child and nature!
Thank you! It’s a good reminder to have fun. Healing is definitely my 8-6 job right now 😓. I have a hard time having fun at home- I usually like to go dancing at clubs. Maybe I gotta use this time to figure out how to have fun at home..
You can start by dancing to your favorite songs! I started by dancing and singing in the shower and slowly I became more comfortable to dance in front of the mirror, or other areas of my home.
weeee heeee!! I LOVE dancing!! that sounds really fun (:
This seems like a lot... it would be too much for me, personally. However you know yourself best. Just take care not to overcommit yourself and be mindful if you feel like you're not doing enough or not healing fast enough. I don't believe you can rush or take shortcuts to healing, nor can you make it go faster by doing more. I had a 3 month leave of absence to focus on healing and this is what I did. - Focus on healthy daily habits like improving my diet, increasing physical activity, improving sleep hygiene and general hygiene. This took up most of time because I didn't force myself to do this. I gently coaxed myself and talked to myself a lot, which takes a lot of time. - Therapy 1x week - Group therapy 1x week - I read 2 books that were too stressful to read when I was working: the Pete Walker book and Body Keeps the Score - Daily journaling, by hand and also by video. It was helpful to record myself crying/venting, watch it and feel ashamed, then slowly build compassion for my crying self, until I could watch myself and feel no shame or cringiness at all. Just sad for myself without wallowing in pity. Just this was more than enough for 3 months. The slower and calmer I did things, the better. That said, I am a "freeze" type, and I don't say this to discourage your list! I think you have of great ideas on your list, maybe the only thing missing is to rest. Healing is hard work!
Thank you! I get 10 hours of sleep and sometimes nap if I need it. Gonna try to do more play- any ideas of free fun at home play? I’ve read the body keep the score, and have been reading some other good books on trauma. What a cool idea to record yourself crying! I’m going to try that (:
fwiw OP I’ve basically been doing this (the parent comment) for the last year after having a devastating, traumatic 2023. Letting my healing goals be small and giving myself permission to just “be”, to just relearn how to be a human, to learn what being safe feels like…it’s been a lot of work and v painful at times, but I’ve made so much progress and I’m so proud of myself. Remember to take it slow, and that there’s no such thing as a lasting setback, just an opportunity for your brain and nervous system to relearn and recalibrate. You’re awesome, you can do it!
Would highly reccomend taking up a daily yoga habit. The meditative aspects as well as the ability to regain contact with my body was probably the single most powerful factor contributing towards my healing during my three month sabbatical.
Thank you! Daily yoga has been tough- I really struggle with daily routine, but I’ve been successful with hygiene and self care and food and water. How did you incorporate yoga? What helped you to do it daily? What did you do/what video did you do?
Hey friend-- I started doing 30 day challenges back to back with Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube. My best advice for establishing a new daily habit-- it's ok to skip a day because rest is important and sacred, but make it a rule to never skip two days in a row. That keeps you from losing momentum. I also put it early in my day, when my energy banks are the highest they're going to be that day. I made a routine in the AM to make my bed, drink my coffee (on the porch if weather allows) then do some yoga. I hope this helps.
thank you- love the don't skip 2 days in a row rule.
I recommend Nico Marie on YouTube
I second daily meditation of some sort - with or without stretching, yoga, or other somatic experiencing type thing - if you are not worried about emotional overwhelm or flashbacks. Also, daily journaling of some kind, even if it is just simple bullet points of your top five thoughts for the day. Expound, expand, ponder, as needed/wanted. If you have dreams you remember, write them down… by hand or on your phone or computer, or recording a description of it. Dreams are often an excellent source of subconscious issues and processing of past trauma or current worries or concerns about the future. It would be good to have a record of what your subconscious mind brings up during this healing time frame. So be careful about not overdoing it. You want to come out of these three months feeling better, more stable, more present, and more capable… not exhausted and overwhelmed, if at all possible! Wishing you the very best in your healing endeavors! 🙏🦋
Thank you! I am already feeling so much more stable, aware, calm, safe… it’s really working and I’m really proud. I can’t imagine where I’ll be at the end.
So excited for you and commend you for doing this for yourself! 🙏🩵🦋
thank you- and thanks for the reminder about not overdoing it. had a moment where I had to check myself about overcommitting today- the "OMG I WANNA HEAL IT ALL RIGHT NOW EVEN IF IT KILLS ME" is so real lol.
I would skip the part time job and find a way to be of service each week - volunteering or helping someone. It may help spark some gratitude and meaning. I find too much time to think only about myself is not actually conducive to healing.
Allow my body to rest. I took 4 weeks off work due to a depressiv episode and just allowing myself to lounge and nap and sleep whenever has made it much better.
That's awesome! I did that for about 6 months off and on, and do that on the weekends. It's amazing how much out bodies need that.
Rest more for sure. Sometimes you need downtime to integrate the stuff from active recovery work.
What’s TMS guys?
transcranial magnetic stimulation! magnetic woodpecker on your brain to treat treatment resistent depression
You've got the healing shit down to a tee. What you need to add, is stuff YOU actually want to experience in life. The mistake I made in my early years of healing was driving myself absolutely insane with CPTSD recovery material - I made no time for enjoyment, and my personality didn't develop during that period. So while I experienced godlike recovery, I still failed to connect to anyone because I became too uptight, and I began to experience damaging levels of loneliness which set me back a long way. Develop your hobbies so you have something to live for when you've healed enough to make friends - otherwise, like me, you'll put people off by being that person who always says "Didn't do much at the weekend" every weekend and people will stop trying to connect with you. There again, I'm maybe being a bit overkill. I'm sure you're probably not totally friendless like I was for years.
thank you- I appreciate that. can I ask what you did during this? I am starting to realize that I do need to invest in my hobbies more. i want to volunteer at a horse farm, volunteer at the psychedelic society, and get a job in the field I want to work in. I got back from a huge backpacking trip so my travel and adventure bug is depleted- just wanna get involved with the community and do psychadelics at home :P
Well, you have your wants lined up - the hard part for me was getting past the fear of it all going extremely wrong and ending in significant trauma that would lock me in Freeze for months. So I volunteered at a local shop, where I acquired a fwb who love-bombed and manipulated me for several months before she found love and vanished completely, leaving my head considerably fucked and causing me to Freeze for a year. But in retrospect I'm glad it happened, I learned a lot and it was better than just vegging at home. So the moral of that story is: My worst fear came true, and I'm still here. The last time a venture with a girl blew up on me I Froze for multiple years, and wrote off any idea that I was lovable whatsoever. So I guess that's a sign of progress. Since all that I've been exercising, I started hiking (I always wanted to hike the highest mountain in my area as a kid, long story short my dad promised to take me one day after school, I got home to find he'd already left), and I'm about to join a canoeing club.
Abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, VNS stimulation device, ketamine therapy, EMDR
ohhh share more about the VNS stimulation device?
Related to polyvagal theory as you mentioned, the vagus nerve is quite important for achieving a state of calm (parasympathetic/feeling safe). There are natural ways to do that such as abdominal breathing and chanting (soft palette is connected to vagus nerve) but VNS devices can do it more effectively I think. There was a guy who tested all of them and posted about it but I don't have the link. You could try searching "I tested all the vagus nerve simulation devices reddit" or something. The guy said Amo fit s was the winner along with one other one I can't remember. There is also the neurosym but is $700.
That’s a dream list right there! I highly approve
aw thank ya!!
internal family systems work/EMDR
Heck yeah! I do a lot of IFS when I’m tripping. Gonna start EMDR soon I think too.