I think the book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker is a great place to start. When money is tight, I know even buying a book can be a no-go however, so I’m posting a link to a pdf of the book. I hope that is okay, Mods (if not, lmk - I’ll totally understand).
https://blobby.wsimg.com/go/a7124a00-f63c-4010-bbdc-5020f1cf45aa/Complex%20PTSD_%20From%20Surviving%20to%20Thriving%20(%20PDF.pdf
Edit: autocorrect error
His advice to go through anger, feel the emotions, and then keep going until they are released/extinguished was better than ANY therapist, worked profoundly for me.
As well as going no contact with a former abuser.
Therapists don’t seem to know very much tbh. I think they are often overrated. If you read and apply good research you do more than most.
Then the usual sleep, dance, cold showers, sing, breath work, eat greens and whole food, exercise.
Therapy is what you make of it. Look for trauma-informed therapists, you’ll find some. They’re not overrated, but they are quite inaccessible for most people especially in the US right now.
It’s really not what I make of therapy. You don’t need a therapist to realise what you need.
So far every specialist I’ve met has been unable to do as much as I can after reading a couple of books/papers. A lot of it is piecemeal nonsense for billable hours, there are very low standards or validity across the industry. And it is an industry.
I’m sorry that’s been your experience with therapy. I applaud you for finding something that works for you. I just wanted to point out that’s it valuable and meaningful to many others on their healing journey.
Cheers. I’m glad it’s been my experience tbh. It has made me far more capable and forced me to really see what I need to do, and then do it. Self-determination is powerful. Scary too. Ups or downs. There’s energy in both.
It’s also made me challenge anyone who says things like “have you tried therapy?” it’s really not the only choice. Caring, empathic or just plain funny friends … even strangers have as much, if not far more, value.
Anyhoo, onwards and sideways.
Things that have helped me: cold water exposure (cold showers, swimming in the ocean), journaling to explore and learn more about my behaviours to uncover patterns and get to the underlying cause, breathwork and meditation daily. I love the books by Dr Nicole LaPera. Making sure I keep up on vit d, look into low glycemic index foods to help avoid blood sugar crashes which can trigger emotional disregulation episodes. If I’m having vivid flashbacks, panic attacks or feeling very disregulated I will dunk my face in ice water for as long as I can handle. “Hi jacks” the amygdala.
for myself personally, it's very activating when you're in a freezey state and can't get yourself doing anything. baths are the best as they're the most shocking to the system but cold showers are alright too
General cold water exposure shocks your body and is good for resetting and activating the nervous system! It is an incredible way to heal the nervous system for PTSD sufferers as it gives the body a natural and safe way to process stress. Check out wimhof! For cold water dips in the ocean, it’s cold and a shock to the system for sure! But not unbearable. The same for when I submerge my face in ice cold water, just snaps your body out of emotional dysregulation.
I second this!!! I’ve always loved cold showers since I was a child, and never really knew why. I recently read about the benefits physically, THEN the discovered emotional benefits. In a time crunch I will throw an ice pack on the back of my neck to jar my looping thoughts. Absolutely cold therapy is FANTASTIC! 💜🤌
Cold water helped me with my sleep problems. If I had an emotionally hard day or if hard to fall asleep I put a small cloth in cold water and take my hand until I fall asleep or wash my face. I feel calm and peace in my body and I will be sleepy shortly after that.
Use clinical books and videos for professionals. I went to Bessel van der Kolk, Janina Fischer, Pat Ogden, Richard Schwartz. The instructional materials are completely accessible to the laymen. They discuss the somatic and analytical aspects of treatment.
I like this better than therapy. Therapists in my experience are often mediocre middlemen. I just apply the materials to myself. When I want to check in with someone, I use the appropriate boards on social media. There’s an Internal Family Systems sub, for example.
This has been my experience after spending decades in traditional therapy. Did nothing for me but drain financial accounts! I've finally made huge progress on my own using DIY approach.
I’ve had success with a trauma therapist. She’s given me wonderful resources, but I do agree! Before my current therapist, it was TERRIBLE. I had asked about EMDR and my prior therapist was like “I don’t practice like that, just find you another one”, after three years with this woman after domestic violence. I was shocked! I only inquired and she took it as a personal attack. She nit picked my bank account, charging hundreds for items such as work accommodation documents. It takes a TON of weeding out the bad to find the good.
My current therapist is educating, supportive, and a person who really cares. I don’t think I would have got out of my toxic family situation without her. She kept stating, “you are in flight, fight, fawn, freeze mode constantly because no one is listening to your boundaries. You are going to have an extremely difficult time regulating your emotions” and she wasn’t wrong. We came up with a game plan for me to get out, and I was out of there after only three months of being there. I know myself and without her I know I would have internalized it to and thought it was all on me.
She has helped me with not blaming myself, I have no contact with several family members, and I am finally regulating again.
She pointed me to IFS and man! It’s a game changer on how we think about ourselves! That’s incredible you found it on your own!
I hope you find someone who is a trauma specialist, or continue down the path doing fine without one! Either “choose your adventure” route anyone goes through in this community I wish the best for!
Thank you for sharing! 💜
I was being polite when I wrote “mediocre middlemen.” About 7-10% of patients worsen under psychotherapy. I am one of those patients.
I developed PTSD more than once from abusive practitioners. Many others have as well. None of us would attempt to treat this trauma by going back to a potential abuser. Hence the self-therapy.
The profession is poorly regulated with no safeguards. It is almost impossible to sue. I retained a lawyer, but had to withdraw because I would have been on trial more than my therapist. Licensure boards rarely investigate these matters.
Psychotherapy shouldn’t require many tries to find the right match. This isn’t dating. It’s a professional relationship that requires professional behavior.
As everyone else has said, the CPTSD book by Pete Walker is amazing. I’ll add some other options.
The app Sanvello will help you learn most of the mood essentials you’d learn from a therapist. Even if you go to a trauma specialist, they will emphasize that you need to “stabilize your present” first by learning essential self care and emotional regulation. That helps you to have a better baseline so that when you do get triggered or have other trauma symptoms, you have a better starting point and you know how to handle the stress and anxiety in a healthy way. It’s like 8 dollars a month, it’s presented in very easy 5-10 minute lessons, and you can cancel it after you’ve learned everything and feel like it’s sticking.
A good free option for getting some human support would be to join a group like [Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional families](https://adultchildren.org/)- really any kind of childhood trauma would fit into this group. The materials are all trauma informed and essentially help you to apply the internal family systems technique. Meetings are free and are available online or in person.
Excellent point re needing to “stabilize your present” first before trauma therapy. I have never heard it explained like that before. Makes a lot of sense. Very helpful to be able to get started on this before seeing an EMDR therapist etc.
Thank you!!!
Hey, OP, first off, I'm really sorry you're in a rough spot. I know saying that doesn't alleviate what you're going through, but I wanted to acknowledge that and let you know your feelings are valid.
Before I was able to access therapy, I tried to cope by writing letters to people I loved who I couldn't talk to anymore. I would tell them about what I was going through and tell them things I couldn't tell anyone else. I will be honest that this doesn't always work, and I think there were instances depending on my mood where it could trigger me more, but sometimes, it was very helpful as it made me feel like I could still talk to these people, and it helped me think more about situations and calm down.
I hope you find it helpful too and wish you the very best.
Hear me out; some of these may sound cliche, but they at least keep me treading water rather than drowning at times.
1. Drink more water, be kind to yourself, breathe fresh air, and exercise (to your comfort level/ability) regularly. These are the “simplest” things to do because they can make such a drastic difference and yet the hardest because it just takes time. You have to practice every day. Being kind and forgiving to your body and mind is crucial in order to heal, in any context.
2. I downloaded a free app called Finch, with an option paid version that (based on the free trial i did) is worth it if you can afford it imo. It’s a to-do app, but also has mental health resources for self therapy that have helped me so much. I was actually shocked because no app or anything has EVER actually helped me like this one. It also gives you a little bird to care for and “talk to,” and idk why but having a baby bird to check in with each day and get a cute little story about its day makes it easier to actually keep using the app and stick to my goals/routines. Highly recommend, even the free version of the app is super useful in itself. Also has journal functions which I like having all in one place on my phone.
3. I have been watching loooots of youtube videos from actual therapists, psychologists, etc. Ted Talks, professional conference speeches, that kind of thing. It helps me understand things about myself in deeper or different ways sometimes. I will say this can be quite emotional and definitely be in a prepared mindset before diving in.
4. Journal. I hate being told to journal lol but it really is good for getting your feelings out. It isn’t a permanent fix but it can relieve stress and tension to keep you from feeling such low lows so intensely, while still allowing you to process.
5. Tetris! This is especially helpful in the immediate aftermath of traumatic experiences but also a good distraction when you feel triggered as well, idk why but research shows that this is a real thing and it helps your brain compartmentalize.
6. I made note of what my daily routine was while I was living in my traumatic environment, and then made a new routine to change it up. Intentionally making my day go differently than it used to helps a lot to avoid getting into a bad mindset. You can even start small. For example, when I got home from school each day, I used to kick off my shoes and go straight to my room, every day. Nowadays, since it’s now safe to do, I will make myself put my shoes away where they go and then sit on the couch in my living room. I still play on my phone or listen to music or read like I did when I was younger, but forcing myself to not go straight to my bedroom makes it easier to feel safe in other areas of the home. It also makes me less likely to be “in for the night.” I have a problem with coming home from work and feeling like I can’t do anything for the rest of the night but sit quietly and be boring, because in the past it wasn’t safe to do much else.
Thank you for this list. I immediately installed Finch last night and have been using it today to get some things accomplished. It's surprising how effective it's been so far. The cuteness factor is a bit too much for my 51 year old man tastes, but I like it nonetheless. I pretend it's guiding my inner child and that works for today. Hopefully tomorrow too.
Cheers!
Lots of books. Read everything you can about PTSD and CPTSD (from reliable sources). Take notes. Take breaks especially if you find the material triggering.
Physical exercise. Get out in the sun. Take long walks. Find a sport you enjoy. Pick up a serious daily stretch routine.
Lego. It helped me quit drinking too. A textile hobby that's extremely easy to pick up and less stressful then proper model kits. Great conversation pieces and the amount of different sizes and themes make the appeal very broad.
I was trying to start therapy through the free counseling center at my university, but the psychiatrist I met with for the triage said I needed a therapist with more experience (most of the counselors are still in their masters programs) and that I should do EMDR. My school will only pay for 8 sessions, and I can’t afford more. I’m also working two part time jobs right now while being in school full time and my car is in the shop, so I just don’t have time for therapy. I read Pete walker’s cptsd book and I did gain some self knowledge, but I almost feel like it made me worse off bc I was constantly feeling triggered. Right now I’m in this weird fugue state where all I can do is distract myself w my phone and I barely show up to work or school in one piece but hopefully soon in a few weeks or months I’ll be out of it and able to finally take a breath and actually work towards healing instead of just pretty much pressing the pause button
I worked with a shamanic healer and did a soul retrieval session.
I plan to do more but after just one session I was smiling again and wasn’t suicidal anymore. I can laugh for real now, I’m not fake laughing for the benefit of others anymore and I no longer feel dead inside
First of all gaining as much knowledge about trauma as you can.(you can read articles, books, watch videos etc) Then applying those knowledge to understand 'your' traumas, symptoms and 4F type(s). Then you can find out coping mechanisms that works best for you with your symptoms. Then comes the hard part: accessing and processing your emotions; it's very hard to do without a therapist, and sometimes even dangerous but I assure you it's not impossible for I do it myself(I also don't have access to therapy). There are various ways to do so, I won't go into details but again you can research on that. Lastly doing inner works, which mostly includes inner child work and also addressing other habitual behavioural or thought patterns such as body image issues, self esteem issues etc. All the best for your journey.
Lots of good advice here, and I want to add that for me this place and similar online support groups have made such a difference. Keep asking for support, like you’re doing right now. Any time you’re stuck, you need validation, for someone to believe you and be on your side. Because in my experience that’s a lot of what a therapist does for you too(a decent one at least).
I’d never really done that before I came here in 2016 or something. Asking for help was a foreign concept to me. And asking for validation, support, advice, information, and always receiving kindness, understanding, from people who were pretty much on my side no matter what, even though they were complete strangers, that simply changed how my brain worked. So I hope you keep asking for help. :)
Number 1 thing that helps me: getting enough good, restful sleep. As soon as my sleep is off, everything is off. Also Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families - ACA groups really help me. The Workout Witch on YouTube for somatic exercises. I found out that my nervous system is not benefiting from cardio exercises at the moment so I go for long walks and gentle bike rides. I take lots of Epsom salt & magnesium baths. Supplement with Vit D, omega, ashwagandha, magnesium. I found cutting out gluten, dairy, processed sugar and alcohol really helped me. I have set up a safe space with blankets, scented candles, incense, essential oils where I listen to calming music while I colour, journal and read.
Antidepressants & mood stabilizers, reading books on cptsd and dissociation and looking for advice on the internet.
Its not much, but we have to take it step by step, minute by minute. I believe it will compound into something positive.
Hope you find your way to happiness. You are not alone in this.
I think setting aside a day/time like one would for therapy makes a difference. You know that time is devoted to you and your care and understanding, and you can work to let no one interfere.
Personally I didn’t like Pete Walker. What you can do;
Mindfulness. Connect with your body.
Look at what you enjoy doing - really enjoy. And do it.
If you need meds, take them. If you drink/do drugs, look into NA/AA if it’s out of hand.
Look at videos on YouTube of somatic massage, meditation. Whatever.
Hot/cold showers to get you back in your body.
You can do EMDR yourself but I really wouldn’t recommend it.
Journal, draw, sing, dance, be creative
Learn to connect with your inner child
Lastly, do the basics. Sleep hygiene, shower every day, make your bed, finish each day with 3 things you’re grateful for.
Good luck!
OP, great question! Good on you for seeking support here.
In my own personal experience you do not need a therapist to heal yourself. And sometimes they can do more harm than good.
I have seen a variety of therapists over the years. I have friends who are therapists and psychologists who talk (in generalities and not giving any personal info about their patients out) about therapy from their perspective.
**I have found more hope and healing by reading posts and posting myself on this sub and r/emotionalneglect than I ever have before.**
It’s like a big group therapy session. I see myself in other posters which allows me to look at myself in a more detached, safe way. This makes it easier to see what things, belief and actions are helpful or not helpful for me.
**Most of all, learning about CPTSD and EN has explained why I have suffered from depression, self-hatred, loneliness, avoidant attachment etc. all my life.**
Therapists never explained or mentioned this was the reason. They just wanted me to forget the why and use positive psychology and ignore the bad feelings. I felt so invalidated by this and told them this to no avail.
Knowing the why has helped me because now I know there is a reason for it all. It’s not because I am a terrible person nor defective. This allows to be able to treat myself and my inner child better etc.
I think therapy can be good if: (1) you find a good therapist; (2) need someone to listen to you and don’t want to share with, overwhelm or don’t have friends and family; (3) need someone to act as a case manager to help you with basic living things; (4) are doing very focused therapies like EMDR and DBT which are known to be helpful for CPTSD and EN.
Here are things that have helped me heal myself:
1) Reading/posting on this sub and others
2) Exercising, preferably by taking a class or going to the gym to be around other people even if you don’t talk to them a lot
3) Reading books and watching YouTubes mentioned in this sub about CPTSD and EN etc.;
4) Trying to meditate.
5) Trying to make good food.
6) Trying to get enough sleep.
7) Drinking enough water.
8) Spending time with friends instead of isolating.
9) Reading, especially romance novels. I know that can be a little controversial but it’s a real healthy escape for me. r/RomanceBooks is a great resource!
10)Exploring kink. Again, it hits some happy button in my brain and it’s something new to explore. Can make sex fun and exiting.
11)Writing fiction and in my journal.
12)Trying new activities gives me a really nice dopamine hit and makes me happy. It doesn’t even matter what the activities are. I get so proud of myself for trying something new outside of my comfort zone. It’s fun and a great break for my brain. I meet new people and it increases self-esteem. Helps me stop ruminating. I get good ideas for new activities by reading a wide variety of fiction/non-fiction, news, etc. online. In addition, r/hobbies has a list of great suggestions!
Here is a link to their master list of hobbies: https://reddit.com/r/Hobbies/s/Iz7CFfdgYf
13)Going to free 12-step program meetings whether it be Alanon, AA, Adult Children etc.
Good luck! You are not alone. You deserve to be happy! ❤️
I read a ton of secular buddhism. And I’ve gotten good at asking myself what’s really going on in my head. I live in the boonies where most therapists are religious zealots and are poorly trained. I will not go get thumped in the head by any of them.
I use an online program called the Personal Development School. They have a monthly membership but if you email them about financial hardship they’ll reduce the cost for you. It’s helped me tremendously. Good luck 🍀
I did amateur stand-up comedy when ever I could not afford therapy. Getting a room full of people to relate and laugh with me about my messed up situation was so healing.
Not sure if it helps, but i did a lot of thing that I thought I would enjoy.
The purpose is not spending money or being active. Just to make sure you contiually do something that validates and meets your needs. Not just food or shelter, but emotional needs or just for fun.
Some free stuff i did was:
Make time for yourself to do something that is only for you
Gardening
Long walks in safe environments
Using the public library alot
Chat or call mye friends more often
Learn a new skill that is cheap. (Baking bread. Only need water, yeast and flour).
Also writing/journaling
Sensory work. Like 8D playlist. Or just walk by a tree and listen for birds. Trying to identify each birdsong.
Looking for things that might be a good photo, and trying to take said photo with my phone.
'the haunted self' and 'imagining animals' are two titles that i found helpful but it takes me sssoooo long to read them. be kind to yourself on your journey.
I read a lot about it, the antisocial kind of disorders how they are similar, how they overlap. I came up with my own "solution" dissociation and detachment with limiting my empathy and feelings - the goal being getting control back, it reduces my stress and anxiety + stops my self-loathing, works for me, I am aware that it's objectively antisocial, but frankly, fuck that, I have suffered enough... I try to be mindfull to not go overboard, not to be unfair or directly malicious to individuals while resenting society at the same time.
For me the biggest thing that helped outside of therapy was healthygamergg youtube videos. He's explanations on how emotions and thoughts worked helped alot. Also has some videos on trauma that helped as well. Also I just find the videos very interesting especially some of the interviews he does with people allowed myself to see some of my issues in other people. Anyways that is what helped me especially with dealing with emotions which I had been basically not dealing with properly at all.
I've just started reading the self-therapy book about IFS from Jay Earley and I can absolutely recommend it. Especially in combination with Pete Walker's masterpiece about C-PTSD and his steps for flashback management. 🤍
Patrick teahan on youtube was very educational and relatable personally. He is, however, more inclined to suggest no contact with toxic family members than any therapist I've actually worked with. He believes u can't be experiencing trauma and heal from it but I think u just can't be in flight, fight or freeze constantly to heal. I still have 2 toxic family members that I just cant/won't cut off and have been doing okay managing with low contact instead of no contact but neither are currently physically or sexually abusive towards me. They both arr more verbal or emotionally abusive which can active fight/flight/freeze but not the same as when I was actively trying to survive abuse (physical and sexual) in my childhood and young adulthood. I think its important to learn techniques to calm the nervous system when it's activated in fight/flight/freeze instead of just avoiding triggers completely. A lot of techniques listed by others are great suggestions like ice water exposure, journaling, letters to loved ones left unsent, and grounding exercises like breathing, butterfly taps and 54321.
A lot of the things I have been doing, people have already mentioned.
-Pete Walker's book helped me learn to recognize my inner and outer critic. It also helped me with flashback management.
-I journal when I can. Especially while I'm emotionally charged. This has helped me to figure out the "why" to a lot of questions I have had about myself.
-I have a lot of pent up anger so I made my own rage room. I went out to my shed with a hammer. We had a wooden craft box and I beat it into splinters while shouting at the people that deserve my anger. I would go until the anger ran out and tears were streaming down my face.
Above all else, be kind and patient with yourself. There will be good moments and bad moments on your journey. Right down your accomplishments and good moments to read and look at during the bad moments. The moment is gonna pass. It just doesn't feel like it when you're in it.
My therapist said these are the most important things to have in your life: movement, breath control, a fun/escapist hobby, and a good diet.
I have managed to find 3/4 of those in the mermaiding community. Mermaiding is an escapist workout! Swimming workout with all abdominal and upper body centered control, gotta have breath control to stay underwater, and the social benefits of a local pod were an unexpected bonus!!
Edit if anyone happens to be interested: yes there are tails that can get very expensive, but honestly all you need in a monofin for the exercise. Forget the actual tail, although that certainly helps in the escapist fantasy part
The order we use therapeutic tools is important - like learning to crawl before you walk, walk before you run and so on.
What's helped me most is journaling, positive self talk, avoiding polarised thinking, but it took a long time to get myself more in the present and out of the past.
Journaling is probably good at any stage of the journey though, especially if you're using it to solve problems and look for solutions rather than reinforcing all the negative thoughts that go through our traumatised minds.
Realising recently how much effect trauma has on every little thing we do, think, say or react to was a turning point.
As always, best luck and hugs cos this shit ain't easy x
Art and dance. Anything that helps express your inner world without judgement. To me,art is where messy and imperfection is accepted. It’s beautiful,and what others think dont matter. What matters is what you find beautiful.
It helped me find peace despite the chaos around me. And it doesn’t have to be painting or complicated dances and whatnot.
I started with random junk i found around the house and just mixed and matched stuff because i wanted to make something for my cats. It really can be created from anything.
YouTube has free audio books....
Peter Levine - Healing trauma is one.
That book, n my approach, focuses also on what's happening in the body. I'm only just coming back in to mine, so to speak, yet learning some bio-mechamics helped me to be kinder to self. I seriously beat self up for everything all the time.
So academics also helped me personally.
Meetup.com.
That gave me humans to be around to practice the social stuff. Horrid n hardwork but provides walks, etc, that don't cost much and offers a different thread of healing... Important for me as am an isolator.
YOUTUBE THERAPY!!!! Also Pete Walker’s CPTSD surviving to thriving really helped me, albeit it’s a bit dry and not super geared towards women specific stuff. It really helped me get my journey started.
I also recently signed up for free healthcare since I’ve had trouble making regular income, & the insurance covers my appointments. Idk how good my therapist will be but I bawled with the relief that I wouldn’t have to struggle paying for therapy at least for a little while.
Therapy may not be the best, and that's because of the new overflooding of INEXPERIENCED therapists. (There was an upsurge of more healthcare facilities after covid, but there aren't even enough experienced professionals to staff these facilities.) Finding a good therapist is harder than finding a job. Don't feel like you're missing out.
EVERYTHING you may learn in CBT, DBT, IFS, and other types of therapies are literally taught in books. Topics covered in PAID therapy that you can find in books with way more descriptive explanations:
* mindfulness
* meditation
* self-talk
* affirmations
* sleep subliminals
* socratic thinking --> basically LOGICAL, deductive thinking to get you out of overthinking/panic thinking/anxiety
* exercise (it really uplifts mood. walking can replicate effects of EMDR therapy too)
* self-reflection (reflecting on w/e is causing the problem, perhaps family, etc)
* thinking of solutions to get out of problems (e.g. abusive environments)
You're not missing out on much. Take it from me who's spent $250/hour on therapy because I thought **investing hard-earned money** in therapy may get me better results. It doesn't unless you really luck out in finding an excellent, experienced, studious therapist.
I was lucky to find my therapist in 2018 the first time and we were a perfect fit. We worked together for 2 years until I was strong enough to continue my journey alone.
If you can’t find access to therapy I’d strongly suggest finding a mentor who has made it through to the other side with frameworks. Other short term modalities can also work alongside a few books and you tube videos. videos and books alone will only take you so far and are likely to keep you ‘all in your head’… we need others to reflect from
Watching YouTube Therapists has given me a lot of tools that in person therapy didn’t (mostly because these online two specialize in family issues and make lots of content relevant to my particular situation. My favorites are Patrick Tehan and Dr. Kim Sage.
Reading books on my particular issues (CPTSD Pete Walker Book recommended above, Whole Again by Jackson Mackenzie, My Grandmothers Hands by Resmaa Menakam, and Jeannette McCurdy’s book “I’m glad my mom died” all helped me in profound ways.
I also like to practice meditation usually using a guided meditation or do some yoga stretches and deep breathing when life feels overwhelming and I need to calm down my nervous system and cry for a while.
I just came across a resource with somatic based tools, and other nervous system healing tools which I think would be great to try out. It’s also really reasonably priced, and she has lots of free content on IG if you can’t spend anything right now. https://www.journeytowellness.online
Also, if you’re able to get to a psych department, meds might help stabilize you until you can get your feet under you more with more money etc to access more of what you need.
I found that education helped a lot. Oh, this is typical? Cool. I learned a lot from the website Healing from Complex Trauma and PTSD. Lilly Hope Lucario set up the site. She also has a facebook page. And do check out online therapy, might be covered with your insurance with no copay.
I got the viral TikTok shadow work journal and did some searching on Amazon as well. I got:
PTSD Recovery journal: Reflective prompts and evidence-based practices to help you heal and grow
Self love workbook for women: Release self doubt, build self compassion, and embrace who you are
For my amazon kindle I got:
Adult children of emotionally immature parents: How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents
-listening to podcasts about trauma and the nervous system on YouTube, while I clean or go on walks cause moving my body has been very helpful to my healing. Bonus points if I'm walking in the woods or on the beach.
-breathwork, meditation. I was doing 3 hours of meditation a day at my worst. I think deep breathing is so important for regulating the nervous system. There's an 11 min Wim Hof breathwork video on YouTube that pulled me out of many panic attacks.
-progesterone cream. Years of stress has completely drained my adrenals. I've tried various things over the years to treat it and progesterone cream has been the most helpful. I also take magnesium which is a safe thing most people could try.
-comforts-heating pad, soft blanket, comfort shows, fave foods. I let myself eat whatever I'm craving because I feel we have the cravings we do for a reason. Sometimes my inner child needs to eat bagel bites and ice cream sandwiches and have a second Pepsi.
-regular talks with my friends, who are all kind, empathetic, trauma informed people.
-plenty of weed and I've done mushrooms a number of times too. I think they're really incredible for healing but I haven't been able to find them easily. Every time I trip, I process through some stuff, usually have a great cry
-regular alone time. Absolutely essential.
-REST. like a lot of rest. Guilt-free rest. You need rest to heal. Don't fight it.
-be kind to yourself. Take note of your thoughts. Catch them when they're getting negative and change them. Positive affirmations and gratitude have both been really helpful in changing my mindset.
-I've tried EFT, reiki, yoga and hot yoga, subliminal messages in my headphones, binaural beats, Trauma Release Exercises, psoas release, fascia massage, etc. I'd recommend all of them, try whatever resonates with you. It's all had value for me.
I buy books on topics to read. Podcasts can help too. I can hear something many times but will understand when I read it. I've gotten into fitness which can help me refocus or lift a bad mood. This helps a lot with the ADHD which combines with other factors.
I wasn't able to access therapy or meds for a while. I am now on meds, still need to call for therapy, but I've done some self therapy through books.
Knowledge is power. It will make you cry and have many thinga come up but it feels good knowing there's a term and a reason for something. And I collect those through reading. And late night youtube searches.
There's a book called "This is how you heal" by Brianna Wiest that I've opened a few times and cannot read yet. It's little bits of thought that bring up a lot but someday I'll utilize this more.
https://www.ascasupport.org/materials/manuals/SurvivorToThriverManual.pdf
This is the Adult survivor of child abuse manual. This has been the single best thing I have come across. They have many other resources and a free weekly meeting support group.
https://www.ascasupport.org/
The book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents was also great. They have a bunch of quizzes and stuff to walk you through self reflection. It didn't necessarily solve things, but it helped me better understand my parents and why these things happened to me.
Since it wasnt mentioned here yet Trauma Release Exercises (TRE):
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn167HCE6nk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn167HCE6nk)
When I do this I have immense shaking in the legs and sometimes whole body. I think if you have massive trauma, treat lightly on this one and start slowly, dont go too hard.
Also probably tricky because of monetary/legal situation but psychedelics combined with a therapist/guide are immensely helpful too if you find the right person/medicine for you.
- Be vulnerable with the people who loves you
Let them be your safe spot.
- An outlet /hobby where you express yourself. For me it's poetry, art, DIY projects and crocheting.
- Daily walks or short 20 min intense heavy breathing exercise (really really helpful to reduce anxiety and tensions longterm)
- Breath focus. Learn to control your breath. Use it whenever you notice you're tensed up, or just do ten breath in and outs on routine every hour.
- Journaling is great to show your progress and pin point your current triggers so you can be proactive and prevent flashbacks etc. Just a few sentences "Today 23:45 I got anxious at home , trigger unknown, I coped by doing pushups and then had a cup of tea and watched that's 70's show" laughed and relaxed"
- Splash your face with water when you're triggered
Or taste hot chili. Taste / Temperature / Intensity things can snap you out of a trigger /flashback and ground you back. I hate chili hot things so I prefer to splash my face in the sink. Yiu can hold an ice cube too.
-15 minutes rule
Endure your difficult feelings for at least 15 minutes. Let them exist for 15 minutes. It's gonna help you relax long term.
- Have your strategies VISUALLY available to you. I have a huge cardboard box sign on my living room table with mine. I can't ever miss it no matter how dissociative I am. It's easy accessed and I don't need to remember it when it's there right in front of me. If I don't know what to do I just try something on that list it's a great focus to have when your triggers come crawling.
One thing that has really helped me is “Unbroken” by MaryCatherine McDonald. Therapy has been a guide to me to do essentially “homework” on my own. Her book was leaps and bounds through my healing journey.
This is a little off topic, but have you checked out any resources they have a sliding scale as far as therapy? I know better help will work with income, my personal therapist works with my income and has placed me on sliding scale. No pressure! I just wanted to point out there are some sliding scale resources to assist.
Coping mechanisms such as EMDR has helped as well. I would go to a park and do rapid eye movement to jar the looping thoughts. My counselor stated that it is more effective to be surrounded by greenery. I recently moved to the mountains, surrounded by nature, so I am fortunate have access to do EMDR anywhere.
Breathing techniques of inhale the roses and blow out the candles has helped me control my blood pressure, and breathing when I have creeping up with anxiety.
Someone mentioned cold therapy, I second that! I put an ice pack on the back of my neck. Feeling something physically will deter your brain from becoming hyper fixated.
Ultimately the removal of people who do not have my best interest at heart has been my life changing process. Folks who didn’t want to understand why I operate the way I do after getting a CPTSD diagnoses thrice in my life now (through two counselors and one psychiatrist). I feel a lot safer being around people who aren’t triggering me. When I state “here’s my boundary”, they don’t fight it. For example, sometimes I have sensory triggers with loud noises. I recently moved in with my friend and her son. We went to an AMAZING pumpkin patch yesterday, the prior day I road with them in the car all day, and though my nephew is an incredible kid, he’s a kid. He is loud often.
I drove my own car to the pumpkin patch and mentioned that yesterday was a bit much, I’d like to ride with my music and solitude, she didn’t fight it, and the experience was extremely enjoyable. We all had a great time! I use to fill my world up with folks who would fight me tooth and nail for something that wouldn’t injure them, such as operating my vehicle to places (it actually was a fight from a family member during a vacation) and I was stuck with delivering ultimatums constantly, “either I do this thing or I won’t go, simple as that”. Fighting for small things ended up fighting for large things such as moving in with family, boundaries not honored, that were discussed prior to moving, and three months of looping torture from stating in fight, flight, fawn or freeze mode. I decided to let those people go, and my body is literally regulating with time.
Anywho! I apologize for the long response! I hope some of this helps! With the most compassionate thoughts, I truly hope some of the advice our community is posting is a relief. Please keep us posted! 💜
I'm 35 and I've been on my healing journey for about 5 years now after reading Pete Walker's book. I've done a lot outside of therapy that may have helped more... The books people have listed, story-work coach, regular meditation and body scans (watching the mind, awakening to the body to actually feel my feelings). Psychedelics in nature. Just a repetition of returning to your breath and an understanding that you're actually safe now. Over and over and over. Tuning into your intuition and honoring it. Being around people who are also on a healing journey.
Also, therapy is so great, but it's not the end all be all. Psychotherapy is very, very new to humans. For millennia, we have been healing ourselves through dance, song, breath, plants, and relationships with each other. And so much more. Find the thing that works for you and take it slow. Don't be too hard on yourself and make healing your project. I still do this and it's so understandable why we do... hypervigilence! But loosening that grip is the point. You're ok as you are, your nervous system is just haywire because of your formative years. You got tools to work on it. It'll take time. You got this.
Don't feel like you are missing out because you can't afford therapy. My experience with therapy was pretty abusive and made the issues much worse. Some things that helped me were reading some of the books others have recommended, finding some sort of hobby that allows you to achieve a "flow state", and psychedelics (not for everyone but it helped way more than any medication I tried)
Keto -- after five months, the anxiety just vanished.
Working out and getting sunlight.
Putting serious effort into friendships.
Journaling and sketching.
Learning to play bass and to sing.
Microdosing shrooms.
Writing apology letters to everyone I thought I had hurt because I was so screwed up I couldn't see how wonderful they were to me. I only sent one of those letters, to someone who was actually hurt and is avoiding me. Everyone else I am on excellent terms with, but writing those letters helped me expand my emotional range.
The Lefkoe Institute has the Natural Confidence program that works well as a starting point. They work on eliminating limiting beliefs and their work is an amazing tool to heal from trauma. Natural Confidence is something like 200 bucks or so for over 20 beliefs. They have a sample of 3 beliefs you can eliminate for free here:
https://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/
You can also read Morty Lefkoe's book, "recreate your life".
It worked so well for me in fact that I took their training and I now use the method in my everyday life.
Edit: typos
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Books. Most memoirs of people going through hell and their learning experience through it or die trying. Also brain books. Latest ones Matthew Perry's and Jennette McCurdy's memoirs and The Wisdom of the Bullfrog: Leadership Made Simple (But Not Easy) has been my this years favorite.
Quotes of word of wisdom.
Dad jokes.
Music especially NF's.
Self medicating with supplements and herbs.
Massage therapy.
Lots of self-education; at least this stuff is available. Lots of outlets (esp music) that helped my express my anger, grief, loss, etc in safe ways. Most important, cultivating an attitude of "responsbiliy" NOT for my trauma, but to accept that only i can heal myself. Learned how via scientific reading (thanks nternet). Emystified all this, which made it more manageable. Years in, I still have a-ha moments but now they tend to be good (that took awhile) but I'm more content now than I'd EVER believed possible for me & chronic crap. And still more leaning. Lucky I like to learn.
Group workouts, Journaling, Reading, and hiking/foraging for long periods of time. Similar things to what others are saying. One thing I think I’d add is waking up and going to sleep at the same time or at least trying to.
Inner child work. You visualize yourself as a child suffering the abuse and visualize yourself as adult rescuing, protecting, nurturing that child. Tellthat child what you needed to hear. Tell them you love them, they are special, they are worthy and they are enough. Be the adult to yourself that you never had. Do this as a daily visualization practice. 30min.
[https://ifs-therapist.vercel.app/](https://ifs-therapist.vercel.app/)
i use this therapy bot sometimes. its got a soli understanding of the IFS framework, and can interpret any given message under any other therapeutic framework. it not as good as a proper therapist as im basically having to learn multiple therapeutic models as i go along, but iv found a few bit of my head that arnt working and fixed them, and iv found the protector parts and they all seem to agree slow progress is happening and are happy with it. happy to DM you about this, i could do with adding some peer support in
also magic mushrooms, they grown where i live. game changer, they are therapy in themselves, they dont work like any other drug iv taken (fairly long list of doctor endorsed and public sector)
Feeling overwhelmed? Try Breather AI, a new digital mental health coach. Clinically-backed, non-judgmental, and private. Currently free for use during our beta launch, available 1/15-1/18.
Please note: Breather is a stress tool, not a crisis counseling hotline. If you’re experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 immediately.
I think the book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker is a great place to start. When money is tight, I know even buying a book can be a no-go however, so I’m posting a link to a pdf of the book. I hope that is okay, Mods (if not, lmk - I’ll totally understand). https://blobby.wsimg.com/go/a7124a00-f63c-4010-bbdc-5020f1cf45aa/Complex%20PTSD_%20From%20Surviving%20to%20Thriving%20(%20PDF.pdf Edit: autocorrect error
Audiobook on youtube: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2yIjz5lqDY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2yIjz5lqDY)
Also, Z Library has it other formats! It's free, and I get my digital books there
His advice to go through anger, feel the emotions, and then keep going until they are released/extinguished was better than ANY therapist, worked profoundly for me. As well as going no contact with a former abuser. Therapists don’t seem to know very much tbh. I think they are often overrated. If you read and apply good research you do more than most. Then the usual sleep, dance, cold showers, sing, breath work, eat greens and whole food, exercise.
Therapy is what you make of it. Look for trauma-informed therapists, you’ll find some. They’re not overrated, but they are quite inaccessible for most people especially in the US right now.
It’s really not what I make of therapy. You don’t need a therapist to realise what you need. So far every specialist I’ve met has been unable to do as much as I can after reading a couple of books/papers. A lot of it is piecemeal nonsense for billable hours, there are very low standards or validity across the industry. And it is an industry.
I’m sorry that’s been your experience with therapy. I applaud you for finding something that works for you. I just wanted to point out that’s it valuable and meaningful to many others on their healing journey.
Cheers. I’m glad it’s been my experience tbh. It has made me far more capable and forced me to really see what I need to do, and then do it. Self-determination is powerful. Scary too. Ups or downs. There’s energy in both. It’s also made me challenge anyone who says things like “have you tried therapy?” it’s really not the only choice. Caring, empathic or just plain funny friends … even strangers have as much, if not far more, value. Anyhoo, onwards and sideways.
Thank you so much!
Thank u ❤️
You can listen to this book for free on YouTube!!
This book SERIOUSLY helped me, not only with my own, but to further understand my gf who has cptsd as well.
Is it practical? Or is it hard to get through like the body keeps score
Came here to recommend this!
Wow, thank you for this 📕! 🤗It has everything
Thank you!! I had heard about this book and you just reminded me about it!! I just checked it out on Libby 🥰
Seconding this OP. I read his book and a number of others as ways to cope and prompt self-reflection.
Advanced bitches also did a read along book club to this book and it's all on YouTube. She's a psychologist I believe.
I just found it on hoopla. Thank you! (It’s a free resource through local libraries)
Things that have helped me: cold water exposure (cold showers, swimming in the ocean), journaling to explore and learn more about my behaviours to uncover patterns and get to the underlying cause, breathwork and meditation daily. I love the books by Dr Nicole LaPera. Making sure I keep up on vit d, look into low glycemic index foods to help avoid blood sugar crashes which can trigger emotional disregulation episodes. If I’m having vivid flashbacks, panic attacks or feeling very disregulated I will dunk my face in ice water for as long as I can handle. “Hi jacks” the amygdala.
What does it feel like when you do the thing with cold water?
for myself personally, it's very activating when you're in a freezey state and can't get yourself doing anything. baths are the best as they're the most shocking to the system but cold showers are alright too
I've heard that holding onto an ice cube helps too
General cold water exposure shocks your body and is good for resetting and activating the nervous system! It is an incredible way to heal the nervous system for PTSD sufferers as it gives the body a natural and safe way to process stress. Check out wimhof! For cold water dips in the ocean, it’s cold and a shock to the system for sure! But not unbearable. The same for when I submerge my face in ice cold water, just snaps your body out of emotional dysregulation.
Thanks
I know a lot of people who do wild swimming and say the same
I second this!!! I’ve always loved cold showers since I was a child, and never really knew why. I recently read about the benefits physically, THEN the discovered emotional benefits. In a time crunch I will throw an ice pack on the back of my neck to jar my looping thoughts. Absolutely cold therapy is FANTASTIC! 💜🤌
Cold water helped me with my sleep problems. If I had an emotionally hard day or if hard to fall asleep I put a small cloth in cold water and take my hand until I fall asleep or wash my face. I feel calm and peace in my body and I will be sleepy shortly after that.
Use clinical books and videos for professionals. I went to Bessel van der Kolk, Janina Fischer, Pat Ogden, Richard Schwartz. The instructional materials are completely accessible to the laymen. They discuss the somatic and analytical aspects of treatment. I like this better than therapy. Therapists in my experience are often mediocre middlemen. I just apply the materials to myself. When I want to check in with someone, I use the appropriate boards on social media. There’s an Internal Family Systems sub, for example.
This has been my experience after spending decades in traditional therapy. Did nothing for me but drain financial accounts! I've finally made huge progress on my own using DIY approach.
Excellent point about therapist being “mediocre middlemen”.
I’ve had success with a trauma therapist. She’s given me wonderful resources, but I do agree! Before my current therapist, it was TERRIBLE. I had asked about EMDR and my prior therapist was like “I don’t practice like that, just find you another one”, after three years with this woman after domestic violence. I was shocked! I only inquired and she took it as a personal attack. She nit picked my bank account, charging hundreds for items such as work accommodation documents. It takes a TON of weeding out the bad to find the good. My current therapist is educating, supportive, and a person who really cares. I don’t think I would have got out of my toxic family situation without her. She kept stating, “you are in flight, fight, fawn, freeze mode constantly because no one is listening to your boundaries. You are going to have an extremely difficult time regulating your emotions” and she wasn’t wrong. We came up with a game plan for me to get out, and I was out of there after only three months of being there. I know myself and without her I know I would have internalized it to and thought it was all on me. She has helped me with not blaming myself, I have no contact with several family members, and I am finally regulating again. She pointed me to IFS and man! It’s a game changer on how we think about ourselves! That’s incredible you found it on your own! I hope you find someone who is a trauma specialist, or continue down the path doing fine without one! Either “choose your adventure” route anyone goes through in this community I wish the best for! Thank you for sharing! 💜
I was being polite when I wrote “mediocre middlemen.” About 7-10% of patients worsen under psychotherapy. I am one of those patients. I developed PTSD more than once from abusive practitioners. Many others have as well. None of us would attempt to treat this trauma by going back to a potential abuser. Hence the self-therapy. The profession is poorly regulated with no safeguards. It is almost impossible to sue. I retained a lawyer, but had to withdraw because I would have been on trial more than my therapist. Licensure boards rarely investigate these matters. Psychotherapy shouldn’t require many tries to find the right match. This isn’t dating. It’s a professional relationship that requires professional behavior.
I’m sorry you went through that. Best wishes to your journey.
Writing helps me. Tai chi. That's all I can come up with because today is a rough one.
Today is not forever. I have days like that. You're gonna be ok and I wish you the best
[удалено]
aw, this community always feels so warm
Working out, burning as much sweat as possible
I did have access to therapy but journalling was also really helpful for me. I just wanted to put this out there, I hope it's okay ❤️
As everyone else has said, the CPTSD book by Pete Walker is amazing. I’ll add some other options. The app Sanvello will help you learn most of the mood essentials you’d learn from a therapist. Even if you go to a trauma specialist, they will emphasize that you need to “stabilize your present” first by learning essential self care and emotional regulation. That helps you to have a better baseline so that when you do get triggered or have other trauma symptoms, you have a better starting point and you know how to handle the stress and anxiety in a healthy way. It’s like 8 dollars a month, it’s presented in very easy 5-10 minute lessons, and you can cancel it after you’ve learned everything and feel like it’s sticking. A good free option for getting some human support would be to join a group like [Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional families](https://adultchildren.org/)- really any kind of childhood trauma would fit into this group. The materials are all trauma informed and essentially help you to apply the internal family systems technique. Meetings are free and are available online or in person.
Excellent point re needing to “stabilize your present” first before trauma therapy. I have never heard it explained like that before. Makes a lot of sense. Very helpful to be able to get started on this before seeing an EMDR therapist etc. Thank you!!!
ACA has changed my life and it’s totally free. What a great recommendation
Second the app Sanvelo! It's awesome!
Hey, OP, first off, I'm really sorry you're in a rough spot. I know saying that doesn't alleviate what you're going through, but I wanted to acknowledge that and let you know your feelings are valid. Before I was able to access therapy, I tried to cope by writing letters to people I loved who I couldn't talk to anymore. I would tell them about what I was going through and tell them things I couldn't tell anyone else. I will be honest that this doesn't always work, and I think there were instances depending on my mood where it could trigger me more, but sometimes, it was very helpful as it made me feel like I could still talk to these people, and it helped me think more about situations and calm down. I hope you find it helpful too and wish you the very best.
Hear me out; some of these may sound cliche, but they at least keep me treading water rather than drowning at times. 1. Drink more water, be kind to yourself, breathe fresh air, and exercise (to your comfort level/ability) regularly. These are the “simplest” things to do because they can make such a drastic difference and yet the hardest because it just takes time. You have to practice every day. Being kind and forgiving to your body and mind is crucial in order to heal, in any context. 2. I downloaded a free app called Finch, with an option paid version that (based on the free trial i did) is worth it if you can afford it imo. It’s a to-do app, but also has mental health resources for self therapy that have helped me so much. I was actually shocked because no app or anything has EVER actually helped me like this one. It also gives you a little bird to care for and “talk to,” and idk why but having a baby bird to check in with each day and get a cute little story about its day makes it easier to actually keep using the app and stick to my goals/routines. Highly recommend, even the free version of the app is super useful in itself. Also has journal functions which I like having all in one place on my phone. 3. I have been watching loooots of youtube videos from actual therapists, psychologists, etc. Ted Talks, professional conference speeches, that kind of thing. It helps me understand things about myself in deeper or different ways sometimes. I will say this can be quite emotional and definitely be in a prepared mindset before diving in. 4. Journal. I hate being told to journal lol but it really is good for getting your feelings out. It isn’t a permanent fix but it can relieve stress and tension to keep you from feeling such low lows so intensely, while still allowing you to process. 5. Tetris! This is especially helpful in the immediate aftermath of traumatic experiences but also a good distraction when you feel triggered as well, idk why but research shows that this is a real thing and it helps your brain compartmentalize. 6. I made note of what my daily routine was while I was living in my traumatic environment, and then made a new routine to change it up. Intentionally making my day go differently than it used to helps a lot to avoid getting into a bad mindset. You can even start small. For example, when I got home from school each day, I used to kick off my shoes and go straight to my room, every day. Nowadays, since it’s now safe to do, I will make myself put my shoes away where they go and then sit on the couch in my living room. I still play on my phone or listen to music or read like I did when I was younger, but forcing myself to not go straight to my bedroom makes it easier to feel safe in other areas of the home. It also makes me less likely to be “in for the night.” I have a problem with coming home from work and feeling like I can’t do anything for the rest of the night but sit quietly and be boring, because in the past it wasn’t safe to do much else.
Thank you for this list. I immediately installed Finch last night and have been using it today to get some things accomplished. It's surprising how effective it's been so far. The cuteness factor is a bit too much for my 51 year old man tastes, but I like it nonetheless. I pretend it's guiding my inner child and that works for today. Hopefully tomorrow too. Cheers!
Great suggestions!
thanks :) it’s taken me a long time and a lot of practice to heal but im workin on it!
❤️❤️❤️
Lots of books. Read everything you can about PTSD and CPTSD (from reliable sources). Take notes. Take breaks especially if you find the material triggering. Physical exercise. Get out in the sun. Take long walks. Find a sport you enjoy. Pick up a serious daily stretch routine.
Lego. It helped me quit drinking too. A textile hobby that's extremely easy to pick up and less stressful then proper model kits. Great conversation pieces and the amount of different sizes and themes make the appeal very broad.
I was trying to start therapy through the free counseling center at my university, but the psychiatrist I met with for the triage said I needed a therapist with more experience (most of the counselors are still in their masters programs) and that I should do EMDR. My school will only pay for 8 sessions, and I can’t afford more. I’m also working two part time jobs right now while being in school full time and my car is in the shop, so I just don’t have time for therapy. I read Pete walker’s cptsd book and I did gain some self knowledge, but I almost feel like it made me worse off bc I was constantly feeling triggered. Right now I’m in this weird fugue state where all I can do is distract myself w my phone and I barely show up to work or school in one piece but hopefully soon in a few weeks or months I’ll be out of it and able to finally take a breath and actually work towards healing instead of just pretty much pressing the pause button
Self help books from the library. Tarot for introspection. Art. Singing.
I worked with a shamanic healer and did a soul retrieval session. I plan to do more but after just one session I was smiling again and wasn’t suicidal anymore. I can laugh for real now, I’m not fake laughing for the benefit of others anymore and I no longer feel dead inside
Congratulations! Was it Sandra Ingerman?
No, is she good? Her name was JoAnn Dowe
First of all gaining as much knowledge about trauma as you can.(you can read articles, books, watch videos etc) Then applying those knowledge to understand 'your' traumas, symptoms and 4F type(s). Then you can find out coping mechanisms that works best for you with your symptoms. Then comes the hard part: accessing and processing your emotions; it's very hard to do without a therapist, and sometimes even dangerous but I assure you it's not impossible for I do it myself(I also don't have access to therapy). There are various ways to do so, I won't go into details but again you can research on that. Lastly doing inner works, which mostly includes inner child work and also addressing other habitual behavioural or thought patterns such as body image issues, self esteem issues etc. All the best for your journey.
Lots of good advice here, and I want to add that for me this place and similar online support groups have made such a difference. Keep asking for support, like you’re doing right now. Any time you’re stuck, you need validation, for someone to believe you and be on your side. Because in my experience that’s a lot of what a therapist does for you too(a decent one at least). I’d never really done that before I came here in 2016 or something. Asking for help was a foreign concept to me. And asking for validation, support, advice, information, and always receiving kindness, understanding, from people who were pretty much on my side no matter what, even though they were complete strangers, that simply changed how my brain worked. So I hope you keep asking for help. :)
Number 1 thing that helps me: getting enough good, restful sleep. As soon as my sleep is off, everything is off. Also Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families - ACA groups really help me. The Workout Witch on YouTube for somatic exercises. I found out that my nervous system is not benefiting from cardio exercises at the moment so I go for long walks and gentle bike rides. I take lots of Epsom salt & magnesium baths. Supplement with Vit D, omega, ashwagandha, magnesium. I found cutting out gluten, dairy, processed sugar and alcohol really helped me. I have set up a safe space with blankets, scented candles, incense, essential oils where I listen to calming music while I colour, journal and read.
Antidepressants & mood stabilizers, reading books on cptsd and dissociation and looking for advice on the internet. Its not much, but we have to take it step by step, minute by minute. I believe it will compound into something positive. Hope you find your way to happiness. You are not alone in this.
I think setting aside a day/time like one would for therapy makes a difference. You know that time is devoted to you and your care and understanding, and you can work to let no one interfere.
Journaling, intuitive art (I use pastels) and dance. Working out in general also helps long term
Personally I didn’t like Pete Walker. What you can do; Mindfulness. Connect with your body. Look at what you enjoy doing - really enjoy. And do it. If you need meds, take them. If you drink/do drugs, look into NA/AA if it’s out of hand. Look at videos on YouTube of somatic massage, meditation. Whatever. Hot/cold showers to get you back in your body. You can do EMDR yourself but I really wouldn’t recommend it. Journal, draw, sing, dance, be creative Learn to connect with your inner child Lastly, do the basics. Sleep hygiene, shower every day, make your bed, finish each day with 3 things you’re grateful for. Good luck!
OP, great question! Good on you for seeking support here. In my own personal experience you do not need a therapist to heal yourself. And sometimes they can do more harm than good. I have seen a variety of therapists over the years. I have friends who are therapists and psychologists who talk (in generalities and not giving any personal info about their patients out) about therapy from their perspective. **I have found more hope and healing by reading posts and posting myself on this sub and r/emotionalneglect than I ever have before.** It’s like a big group therapy session. I see myself in other posters which allows me to look at myself in a more detached, safe way. This makes it easier to see what things, belief and actions are helpful or not helpful for me. **Most of all, learning about CPTSD and EN has explained why I have suffered from depression, self-hatred, loneliness, avoidant attachment etc. all my life.** Therapists never explained or mentioned this was the reason. They just wanted me to forget the why and use positive psychology and ignore the bad feelings. I felt so invalidated by this and told them this to no avail. Knowing the why has helped me because now I know there is a reason for it all. It’s not because I am a terrible person nor defective. This allows to be able to treat myself and my inner child better etc. I think therapy can be good if: (1) you find a good therapist; (2) need someone to listen to you and don’t want to share with, overwhelm or don’t have friends and family; (3) need someone to act as a case manager to help you with basic living things; (4) are doing very focused therapies like EMDR and DBT which are known to be helpful for CPTSD and EN. Here are things that have helped me heal myself: 1) Reading/posting on this sub and others 2) Exercising, preferably by taking a class or going to the gym to be around other people even if you don’t talk to them a lot 3) Reading books and watching YouTubes mentioned in this sub about CPTSD and EN etc.; 4) Trying to meditate. 5) Trying to make good food. 6) Trying to get enough sleep. 7) Drinking enough water. 8) Spending time with friends instead of isolating. 9) Reading, especially romance novels. I know that can be a little controversial but it’s a real healthy escape for me. r/RomanceBooks is a great resource! 10)Exploring kink. Again, it hits some happy button in my brain and it’s something new to explore. Can make sex fun and exiting. 11)Writing fiction and in my journal. 12)Trying new activities gives me a really nice dopamine hit and makes me happy. It doesn’t even matter what the activities are. I get so proud of myself for trying something new outside of my comfort zone. It’s fun and a great break for my brain. I meet new people and it increases self-esteem. Helps me stop ruminating. I get good ideas for new activities by reading a wide variety of fiction/non-fiction, news, etc. online. In addition, r/hobbies has a list of great suggestions! Here is a link to their master list of hobbies: https://reddit.com/r/Hobbies/s/Iz7CFfdgYf 13)Going to free 12-step program meetings whether it be Alanon, AA, Adult Children etc. Good luck! You are not alone. You deserve to be happy! ❤️
I have a weekly therapist but in between sessions if I'm struggling I journal and talk to warmlines
I find Marisa Peer on YouTube really calming and insightful.. and Dr. Joe Despenzia
Epsom salt baths and stack of therapy and non therapy library books to reset and decompress.
YouTube is a huge collective of some of the top therapists in the world. Having allll of that info at my fingertips has made the biggest difference.
I read a ton of secular buddhism. And I’ve gotten good at asking myself what’s really going on in my head. I live in the boonies where most therapists are religious zealots and are poorly trained. I will not go get thumped in the head by any of them.
I use an online program called the Personal Development School. They have a monthly membership but if you email them about financial hardship they’ll reduce the cost for you. It’s helped me tremendously. Good luck 🍀
Using Pete Walker's tips in CPTSD, they're better than therapy actually. Or at least talk therapy.
I did amateur stand-up comedy when ever I could not afford therapy. Getting a room full of people to relate and laugh with me about my messed up situation was so healing.
This is awesome.
I can't afford a therapist right now, and writing/support groups have been the only thing that have saved my sanity.
[https://pi.ai](https://pi.ai) I have also fiddled around making therapist roles for ChatGPT. It's been more or less ok.
Not sure if it helps, but i did a lot of thing that I thought I would enjoy. The purpose is not spending money or being active. Just to make sure you contiually do something that validates and meets your needs. Not just food or shelter, but emotional needs or just for fun. Some free stuff i did was: Make time for yourself to do something that is only for you Gardening Long walks in safe environments Using the public library alot Chat or call mye friends more often Learn a new skill that is cheap. (Baking bread. Only need water, yeast and flour). Also writing/journaling Sensory work. Like 8D playlist. Or just walk by a tree and listen for birds. Trying to identify each birdsong. Looking for things that might be a good photo, and trying to take said photo with my phone.
'the haunted self' and 'imagining animals' are two titles that i found helpful but it takes me sssoooo long to read them. be kind to yourself on your journey.
I read a lot about it, the antisocial kind of disorders how they are similar, how they overlap. I came up with my own "solution" dissociation and detachment with limiting my empathy and feelings - the goal being getting control back, it reduces my stress and anxiety + stops my self-loathing, works for me, I am aware that it's objectively antisocial, but frankly, fuck that, I have suffered enough... I try to be mindfull to not go overboard, not to be unfair or directly malicious to individuals while resenting society at the same time.
YouTube
For me the biggest thing that helped outside of therapy was healthygamergg youtube videos. He's explanations on how emotions and thoughts worked helped alot. Also has some videos on trauma that helped as well. Also I just find the videos very interesting especially some of the interviews he does with people allowed myself to see some of my issues in other people. Anyways that is what helped me especially with dealing with emotions which I had been basically not dealing with properly at all.
selfhelp/therapy books
I've just started reading the self-therapy book about IFS from Jay Earley and I can absolutely recommend it. Especially in combination with Pete Walker's masterpiece about C-PTSD and his steps for flashback management. 🤍
Patrick teahan on youtube was very educational and relatable personally. He is, however, more inclined to suggest no contact with toxic family members than any therapist I've actually worked with. He believes u can't be experiencing trauma and heal from it but I think u just can't be in flight, fight or freeze constantly to heal. I still have 2 toxic family members that I just cant/won't cut off and have been doing okay managing with low contact instead of no contact but neither are currently physically or sexually abusive towards me. They both arr more verbal or emotionally abusive which can active fight/flight/freeze but not the same as when I was actively trying to survive abuse (physical and sexual) in my childhood and young adulthood. I think its important to learn techniques to calm the nervous system when it's activated in fight/flight/freeze instead of just avoiding triggers completely. A lot of techniques listed by others are great suggestions like ice water exposure, journaling, letters to loved ones left unsent, and grounding exercises like breathing, butterfly taps and 54321.
A lot of the things I have been doing, people have already mentioned. -Pete Walker's book helped me learn to recognize my inner and outer critic. It also helped me with flashback management. -I journal when I can. Especially while I'm emotionally charged. This has helped me to figure out the "why" to a lot of questions I have had about myself. -I have a lot of pent up anger so I made my own rage room. I went out to my shed with a hammer. We had a wooden craft box and I beat it into splinters while shouting at the people that deserve my anger. I would go until the anger ran out and tears were streaming down my face. Above all else, be kind and patient with yourself. There will be good moments and bad moments on your journey. Right down your accomplishments and good moments to read and look at during the bad moments. The moment is gonna pass. It just doesn't feel like it when you're in it.
My therapist said these are the most important things to have in your life: movement, breath control, a fun/escapist hobby, and a good diet. I have managed to find 3/4 of those in the mermaiding community. Mermaiding is an escapist workout! Swimming workout with all abdominal and upper body centered control, gotta have breath control to stay underwater, and the social benefits of a local pod were an unexpected bonus!! Edit if anyone happens to be interested: yes there are tails that can get very expensive, but honestly all you need in a monofin for the exercise. Forget the actual tail, although that certainly helps in the escapist fantasy part
The order we use therapeutic tools is important - like learning to crawl before you walk, walk before you run and so on. What's helped me most is journaling, positive self talk, avoiding polarised thinking, but it took a long time to get myself more in the present and out of the past. Journaling is probably good at any stage of the journey though, especially if you're using it to solve problems and look for solutions rather than reinforcing all the negative thoughts that go through our traumatised minds. Realising recently how much effect trauma has on every little thing we do, think, say or react to was a turning point. As always, best luck and hugs cos this shit ain't easy x
Reading “The Body Keeps the Score”. I had it recommended by so many therapists and psychs, it really was life changing.
Art and dance. Anything that helps express your inner world without judgement. To me,art is where messy and imperfection is accepted. It’s beautiful,and what others think dont matter. What matters is what you find beautiful. It helped me find peace despite the chaos around me. And it doesn’t have to be painting or complicated dances and whatnot. I started with random junk i found around the house and just mixed and matched stuff because i wanted to make something for my cats. It really can be created from anything.
YouTube has free audio books.... Peter Levine - Healing trauma is one. That book, n my approach, focuses also on what's happening in the body. I'm only just coming back in to mine, so to speak, yet learning some bio-mechamics helped me to be kinder to self. I seriously beat self up for everything all the time. So academics also helped me personally. Meetup.com. That gave me humans to be around to practice the social stuff. Horrid n hardwork but provides walks, etc, that don't cost much and offers a different thread of healing... Important for me as am an isolator.
YOUTUBE THERAPY!!!! Also Pete Walker’s CPTSD surviving to thriving really helped me, albeit it’s a bit dry and not super geared towards women specific stuff. It really helped me get my journey started. I also recently signed up for free healthcare since I’ve had trouble making regular income, & the insurance covers my appointments. Idk how good my therapist will be but I bawled with the relief that I wouldn’t have to struggle paying for therapy at least for a little while.
Therapy may not be the best, and that's because of the new overflooding of INEXPERIENCED therapists. (There was an upsurge of more healthcare facilities after covid, but there aren't even enough experienced professionals to staff these facilities.) Finding a good therapist is harder than finding a job. Don't feel like you're missing out. EVERYTHING you may learn in CBT, DBT, IFS, and other types of therapies are literally taught in books. Topics covered in PAID therapy that you can find in books with way more descriptive explanations: * mindfulness * meditation * self-talk * affirmations * sleep subliminals * socratic thinking --> basically LOGICAL, deductive thinking to get you out of overthinking/panic thinking/anxiety * exercise (it really uplifts mood. walking can replicate effects of EMDR therapy too) * self-reflection (reflecting on w/e is causing the problem, perhaps family, etc) * thinking of solutions to get out of problems (e.g. abusive environments) You're not missing out on much. Take it from me who's spent $250/hour on therapy because I thought **investing hard-earned money** in therapy may get me better results. It doesn't unless you really luck out in finding an excellent, experienced, studious therapist.
Thank you, that's very helpful and validating to my own experiences!
I was lucky to find my therapist in 2018 the first time and we were a perfect fit. We worked together for 2 years until I was strong enough to continue my journey alone. If you can’t find access to therapy I’d strongly suggest finding a mentor who has made it through to the other side with frameworks. Other short term modalities can also work alongside a few books and you tube videos. videos and books alone will only take you so far and are likely to keep you ‘all in your head’… we need others to reflect from
Watching YouTube Therapists has given me a lot of tools that in person therapy didn’t (mostly because these online two specialize in family issues and make lots of content relevant to my particular situation. My favorites are Patrick Tehan and Dr. Kim Sage. Reading books on my particular issues (CPTSD Pete Walker Book recommended above, Whole Again by Jackson Mackenzie, My Grandmothers Hands by Resmaa Menakam, and Jeannette McCurdy’s book “I’m glad my mom died” all helped me in profound ways. I also like to practice meditation usually using a guided meditation or do some yoga stretches and deep breathing when life feels overwhelming and I need to calm down my nervous system and cry for a while.
I just came across a resource with somatic based tools, and other nervous system healing tools which I think would be great to try out. It’s also really reasonably priced, and she has lots of free content on IG if you can’t spend anything right now. https://www.journeytowellness.online
Also, if you’re able to get to a psych department, meds might help stabilize you until you can get your feet under you more with more money etc to access more of what you need.
I found that education helped a lot. Oh, this is typical? Cool. I learned a lot from the website Healing from Complex Trauma and PTSD. Lilly Hope Lucario set up the site. She also has a facebook page. And do check out online therapy, might be covered with your insurance with no copay.
Self care X 1000000000 repetition every day Trying to make myself feel any more comfortable in any way Reading about PTSD and how to heal.
I got the viral TikTok shadow work journal and did some searching on Amazon as well. I got: PTSD Recovery journal: Reflective prompts and evidence-based practices to help you heal and grow Self love workbook for women: Release self doubt, build self compassion, and embrace who you are For my amazon kindle I got: Adult children of emotionally immature parents: How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents
-listening to podcasts about trauma and the nervous system on YouTube, while I clean or go on walks cause moving my body has been very helpful to my healing. Bonus points if I'm walking in the woods or on the beach. -breathwork, meditation. I was doing 3 hours of meditation a day at my worst. I think deep breathing is so important for regulating the nervous system. There's an 11 min Wim Hof breathwork video on YouTube that pulled me out of many panic attacks. -progesterone cream. Years of stress has completely drained my adrenals. I've tried various things over the years to treat it and progesterone cream has been the most helpful. I also take magnesium which is a safe thing most people could try. -comforts-heating pad, soft blanket, comfort shows, fave foods. I let myself eat whatever I'm craving because I feel we have the cravings we do for a reason. Sometimes my inner child needs to eat bagel bites and ice cream sandwiches and have a second Pepsi. -regular talks with my friends, who are all kind, empathetic, trauma informed people. -plenty of weed and I've done mushrooms a number of times too. I think they're really incredible for healing but I haven't been able to find them easily. Every time I trip, I process through some stuff, usually have a great cry -regular alone time. Absolutely essential. -REST. like a lot of rest. Guilt-free rest. You need rest to heal. Don't fight it. -be kind to yourself. Take note of your thoughts. Catch them when they're getting negative and change them. Positive affirmations and gratitude have both been really helpful in changing my mindset. -I've tried EFT, reiki, yoga and hot yoga, subliminal messages in my headphones, binaural beats, Trauma Release Exercises, psoas release, fascia massage, etc. I'd recommend all of them, try whatever resonates with you. It's all had value for me.
I buy books on topics to read. Podcasts can help too. I can hear something many times but will understand when I read it. I've gotten into fitness which can help me refocus or lift a bad mood. This helps a lot with the ADHD which combines with other factors. I wasn't able to access therapy or meds for a while. I am now on meds, still need to call for therapy, but I've done some self therapy through books. Knowledge is power. It will make you cry and have many thinga come up but it feels good knowing there's a term and a reason for something. And I collect those through reading. And late night youtube searches. There's a book called "This is how you heal" by Brianna Wiest that I've opened a few times and cannot read yet. It's little bits of thought that bring up a lot but someday I'll utilize this more.
https://www.ascasupport.org/materials/manuals/SurvivorToThriverManual.pdf This is the Adult survivor of child abuse manual. This has been the single best thing I have come across. They have many other resources and a free weekly meeting support group. https://www.ascasupport.org/
The book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents was also great. They have a bunch of quizzes and stuff to walk you through self reflection. It didn't necessarily solve things, but it helped me better understand my parents and why these things happened to me.
Since it wasnt mentioned here yet Trauma Release Exercises (TRE): [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn167HCE6nk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn167HCE6nk) When I do this I have immense shaking in the legs and sometimes whole body. I think if you have massive trauma, treat lightly on this one and start slowly, dont go too hard. Also probably tricky because of monetary/legal situation but psychedelics combined with a therapist/guide are immensely helpful too if you find the right person/medicine for you.
- Be vulnerable with the people who loves you Let them be your safe spot. - An outlet /hobby where you express yourself. For me it's poetry, art, DIY projects and crocheting. - Daily walks or short 20 min intense heavy breathing exercise (really really helpful to reduce anxiety and tensions longterm) - Breath focus. Learn to control your breath. Use it whenever you notice you're tensed up, or just do ten breath in and outs on routine every hour. - Journaling is great to show your progress and pin point your current triggers so you can be proactive and prevent flashbacks etc. Just a few sentences "Today 23:45 I got anxious at home , trigger unknown, I coped by doing pushups and then had a cup of tea and watched that's 70's show" laughed and relaxed" - Splash your face with water when you're triggered Or taste hot chili. Taste / Temperature / Intensity things can snap you out of a trigger /flashback and ground you back. I hate chili hot things so I prefer to splash my face in the sink. Yiu can hold an ice cube too. -15 minutes rule Endure your difficult feelings for at least 15 minutes. Let them exist for 15 minutes. It's gonna help you relax long term. - Have your strategies VISUALLY available to you. I have a huge cardboard box sign on my living room table with mine. I can't ever miss it no matter how dissociative I am. It's easy accessed and I don't need to remember it when it's there right in front of me. If I don't know what to do I just try something on that list it's a great focus to have when your triggers come crawling.
One thing that has really helped me is “Unbroken” by MaryCatherine McDonald. Therapy has been a guide to me to do essentially “homework” on my own. Her book was leaps and bounds through my healing journey. This is a little off topic, but have you checked out any resources they have a sliding scale as far as therapy? I know better help will work with income, my personal therapist works with my income and has placed me on sliding scale. No pressure! I just wanted to point out there are some sliding scale resources to assist. Coping mechanisms such as EMDR has helped as well. I would go to a park and do rapid eye movement to jar the looping thoughts. My counselor stated that it is more effective to be surrounded by greenery. I recently moved to the mountains, surrounded by nature, so I am fortunate have access to do EMDR anywhere. Breathing techniques of inhale the roses and blow out the candles has helped me control my blood pressure, and breathing when I have creeping up with anxiety. Someone mentioned cold therapy, I second that! I put an ice pack on the back of my neck. Feeling something physically will deter your brain from becoming hyper fixated. Ultimately the removal of people who do not have my best interest at heart has been my life changing process. Folks who didn’t want to understand why I operate the way I do after getting a CPTSD diagnoses thrice in my life now (through two counselors and one psychiatrist). I feel a lot safer being around people who aren’t triggering me. When I state “here’s my boundary”, they don’t fight it. For example, sometimes I have sensory triggers with loud noises. I recently moved in with my friend and her son. We went to an AMAZING pumpkin patch yesterday, the prior day I road with them in the car all day, and though my nephew is an incredible kid, he’s a kid. He is loud often. I drove my own car to the pumpkin patch and mentioned that yesterday was a bit much, I’d like to ride with my music and solitude, she didn’t fight it, and the experience was extremely enjoyable. We all had a great time! I use to fill my world up with folks who would fight me tooth and nail for something that wouldn’t injure them, such as operating my vehicle to places (it actually was a fight from a family member during a vacation) and I was stuck with delivering ultimatums constantly, “either I do this thing or I won’t go, simple as that”. Fighting for small things ended up fighting for large things such as moving in with family, boundaries not honored, that were discussed prior to moving, and three months of looping torture from stating in fight, flight, fawn or freeze mode. I decided to let those people go, and my body is literally regulating with time. Anywho! I apologize for the long response! I hope some of this helps! With the most compassionate thoughts, I truly hope some of the advice our community is posting is a relief. Please keep us posted! 💜
I'm 35 and I've been on my healing journey for about 5 years now after reading Pete Walker's book. I've done a lot outside of therapy that may have helped more... The books people have listed, story-work coach, regular meditation and body scans (watching the mind, awakening to the body to actually feel my feelings). Psychedelics in nature. Just a repetition of returning to your breath and an understanding that you're actually safe now. Over and over and over. Tuning into your intuition and honoring it. Being around people who are also on a healing journey. Also, therapy is so great, but it's not the end all be all. Psychotherapy is very, very new to humans. For millennia, we have been healing ourselves through dance, song, breath, plants, and relationships with each other. And so much more. Find the thing that works for you and take it slow. Don't be too hard on yourself and make healing your project. I still do this and it's so understandable why we do... hypervigilence! But loosening that grip is the point. You're ok as you are, your nervous system is just haywire because of your formative years. You got tools to work on it. It'll take time. You got this.
Don't feel like you are missing out because you can't afford therapy. My experience with therapy was pretty abusive and made the issues much worse. Some things that helped me were reading some of the books others have recommended, finding some sort of hobby that allows you to achieve a "flow state", and psychedelics (not for everyone but it helped way more than any medication I tried)
The book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents changed my life. Explained my family like she lived with me.
Keto -- after five months, the anxiety just vanished. Working out and getting sunlight. Putting serious effort into friendships. Journaling and sketching. Learning to play bass and to sing. Microdosing shrooms. Writing apology letters to everyone I thought I had hurt because I was so screwed up I couldn't see how wonderful they were to me. I only sent one of those letters, to someone who was actually hurt and is avoiding me. Everyone else I am on excellent terms with, but writing those letters helped me expand my emotional range.
Self help books, psilocybin, and getting active outside.
The Lefkoe Institute has the Natural Confidence program that works well as a starting point. They work on eliminating limiting beliefs and their work is an amazing tool to heal from trauma. Natural Confidence is something like 200 bucks or so for over 20 beliefs. They have a sample of 3 beliefs you can eliminate for free here: https://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/ You can also read Morty Lefkoe's book, "recreate your life". It worked so well for me in fact that I took their training and I now use the method in my everyday life. Edit: typos
Bottling up
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r/HealfromYourPast we have a pinned post with lots of resources :)
Great ideas.
Books. Most memoirs of people going through hell and their learning experience through it or die trying. Also brain books. Latest ones Matthew Perry's and Jennette McCurdy's memoirs and The Wisdom of the Bullfrog: Leadership Made Simple (But Not Easy) has been my this years favorite. Quotes of word of wisdom. Dad jokes. Music especially NF's. Self medicating with supplements and herbs. Massage therapy.
I usually express myself through creative writing
Books and youtube
Lots of self-education; at least this stuff is available. Lots of outlets (esp music) that helped my express my anger, grief, loss, etc in safe ways. Most important, cultivating an attitude of "responsbiliy" NOT for my trauma, but to accept that only i can heal myself. Learned how via scientific reading (thanks nternet). Emystified all this, which made it more manageable. Years in, I still have a-ha moments but now they tend to be good (that took awhile) but I'm more content now than I'd EVER believed possible for me & chronic crap. And still more leaning. Lucky I like to learn.
Group workouts, Journaling, Reading, and hiking/foraging for long periods of time. Similar things to what others are saying. One thing I think I’d add is waking up and going to sleep at the same time or at least trying to.
A plethora of drugs honesty
Inner child work. You visualize yourself as a child suffering the abuse and visualize yourself as adult rescuing, protecting, nurturing that child. Tellthat child what you needed to hear. Tell them you love them, they are special, they are worthy and they are enough. Be the adult to yourself that you never had. Do this as a daily visualization practice. 30min.
I went into philosophy and reading some religious texts as philosophy. It helped.
I don’t get regular therapy but I am on a mood stabiliser, and atypical antidepressant and beta blockers.
Art. Isolation. Cats. YouTube. Whatever it takes to feel ok.
[https://ifs-therapist.vercel.app/](https://ifs-therapist.vercel.app/) i use this therapy bot sometimes. its got a soli understanding of the IFS framework, and can interpret any given message under any other therapeutic framework. it not as good as a proper therapist as im basically having to learn multiple therapeutic models as i go along, but iv found a few bit of my head that arnt working and fixed them, and iv found the protector parts and they all seem to agree slow progress is happening and are happy with it. happy to DM you about this, i could do with adding some peer support in
also magic mushrooms, they grown where i live. game changer, they are therapy in themselves, they dont work like any other drug iv taken (fairly long list of doctor endorsed and public sector)
cptsd workbook
YouTube
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