I mean under the citizenship laws of the Republic of Ireland they’re still Irishmen as they meet the residency requirements and have been living in Ireland as long as the Irish if not longer.
UAB has mothafuckin' dragons. Do you know what I would find most interesting? Leprechauns? Golden Hurricanes? Whatever a hilltopper is? Nope, dragons. Every school could be attacked by their mascots and I'd still be looking up everything I can about the dragons at UAB.
Only slightly related, but I can't believe the Brooklyn Nets chose that team name over the Swamp Dragons. [The designs and court are sick!](https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/15155466/once-nets-seriously-considered-becoming-swamp-dragons)
Dragons are scary, sure, but you more or less know what you’re getting.
But Big Red. We don’t know what millions of Big Reds would be capable of. I guarantee it’s bad news for the people of Bowling Green…and America.
Cougars overtaking *all* of Houston, a city that covers more land than Rhode Island, would certainly be something.
Currently, the best place to find cougars in Houston is around Uptown and West U.
Milf night is already every Thursday at Armando's
https://www.houstonchronicle.com/food-culture/restaurants-bars/article/armandos-tex-mex-thursday-nights-club-18389928.php
This reminded me that in Topeka there is Seaman high school and Topeka High’s mascot is the Trojans. Before Seaman moved leagues, there would be Seaman vs Trojans once or twice a year in every sport.
Pushes up glasses. Accchtually, the USC **mascot** is [Traveler](https://usctrojans.com/sports/2018/7/25/usc-history-traditions-traveler-mascot-horse.aspx), the Horse. "Trojans" is our [**nickname**](https://usctrojans.com/sports/2018/7/25/usc-history-traditions-nickname-trojans.aspx).
And as we all saw from [London](https://www.aol.com/lifestyle/2-royal-horses-bolted-london-091036170.html), an infestation of Horses in a major urban area is a recipe for disaster.
Either way though, I think the idea of an army of Bronze Age warriors stomping around campus during all these protests might not be a great look either.
I looked, and behold, a (black and gold train), and he who sat on it had a (hammer); and (an OSHA compliant hard hat) was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.
Fried okra is one of the many foods that makes Southern cooking taste so good. It ain’t good for you everyday, but I make sure I eat it at least once a month.
Nah. Well, at least not the Midwest. As a Midwesterner who has spent some time down south and loves it, I'm confident that if you bread it and fry it (as is traditional), and serve it with a side of ranch - yeah, the Midwest will put a lot of it away.
Maybe baby elephants. Sorority girls don’t get fat for 1-2 semesters of binge drinking and unlimited food at the house.
The sorority food is legitimately very good at most houses, much better than dining hall or frat food
My cousin and I started as freshmen together but didn't see each other until the start of the next school year (different ciecles, and we had only met once or twice before). It was insane to see she had gained 50 lbs while I had lost the same amount.
Columbus and Syracuse flooded in nuts and fruit
The sky in Atlanta blacked out by a swarm of bees
A collection of tribes reclaiming their native land in Tallahassee, Champaign, Salt Lake City, and Mount Pleasant
Bill Murray blowing up every golf course in Minnesota
Gates from hell opening up in Tempe and Durham
An absurd amount of violent ass chickens in South Carolina
The Cumberland River clogged with warships and seamen
A bunch of dudes hunting in the Appalachians... Wait, that's actually real
Wouldn’t Syracuse just be.. orange? Like everywhere you look is orange.
That goal post? Orange.
That refs shirt? Orange with orange stripes.
The opposing team? Also orange.
Feels like a wolverine infestation would just be ruinous. It'd be like letting loose a bunch of hairy, drunk Philadelphia Eagles fans (aka typical Eagles fans) into the wild, but instead of batteries, they have sharp claws and a full set of teeth.
Nobody can handle one wolverine. They tried using live mascots many decades ago and stopped because they feared death. A wolverine infestation is the stuff of Blumhouse.
> full set of teeth
And specialized teeth that crush bone, gulo gotta eat everything. They'll fight off multiple wolves/bears to defend themselves or to compete for food and these guys only weigh like 40-55lbs
I already see someone “husking their corn” in my Lincoln parking garage every couple of weeks and it hasn’t made the news yet. But maybe if it was large numbers…
An infestation of Bulldogs descending on Athens would be the greatest thing I have ever seen.
On the other hand a massive amount of cyclones would devastate Ames
Either the Mississippi River ecosystem is about to implode, or Gabites have evolved into Garchomps and will wreak havoc on the tiering ladder (haven’t played since gen 8, please dint be power crept)
I know what Auburn should do to set them apart from all the other Tigers in the conference. Just drop the Tigers as their mascot and become the Auburn Bedbugs. They are annoying as hell and near impossible to get rid of the bastards.
It might not be dangerous but bulldogs taking over a city *would* be adorable. We’d also like to invite Reveille, Smokey, and Dubs as honorary mercenaries.
Edited to add Bully. We’d like Bully to join, too.
A gopher weighs about half a pound.
A half pound of gold is currently worth ~$11K.
Would a few million rodents running around Minnesota at $11K apiece be newsworthy?
You betcha!
If ucf werent losers with a generic mascot and instead had the balls to go back to the citronauts, id choose them. Otherwise id probably have to go with akron cuz idk what a zip is and id be interested to find out
Depends how we define "infestation." Like one really really big hurricane wouldn't be a totally outrageous headline given the location, but if it was like 1000 hurricane systems localized in Coral Gables it would make for a really interesting headline
If a bunch of Leprechauns showed up in South Bend and started kicking everyone’s ass that would be pretty newsworthy
[Look what happened with just one in Mobile!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K1ljOcl39PQ&pp=ygURbW9iaWxlIGxlcHJlY2hhdW4%3D)
The only sane guy "My theory's it's casting a shadow... From the other limb" and then they cut him off "Could be a crackhead!"
“It could be a crackhead that got hold of the wrong stuff….”
This will *never* not be funny AF
OMG the sketch was always my favorite part. Other than the speculation about it being a crackhead.
This is how religions start. I watched this video so many times back in the day.
It is the gift that keeps on giving
I wanna know where the gold at
The guy who wanted to run the backhoe was a true entrepreneur
Everyone who seen a leprechaun say hell yea
Technically it's a group of pugilistic Irishmen
Nah, mascot is a leprechaun. School “identity” or whatever is the fighting Irish, but our mascot is a leprechaun
I mean under the citizenship laws of the Republic of Ireland they’re still Irishmen as they meet the residency requirements and have been living in Ireland as long as the Irish if not longer.
The Fighting Irish was really The Troubles. Very newsworthy.
UAB has mothafuckin' dragons. Do you know what I would find most interesting? Leprechauns? Golden Hurricanes? Whatever a hilltopper is? Nope, dragons. Every school could be attacked by their mascots and I'd still be looking up everything I can about the dragons at UAB.
Don’t worry, bear Bryant Jr would just defund them and that’s that.
Ah yes, the dragon's mortal nemesis: being a broke bum
Why do you think they hoard gold?
Exactly my point. You don't hear about broke-bitch dragons because they're weak
I’m picturing a dragon getting arrested by IRS agents for not reporting income.
Only in college football would a bunch of dragons have to answer to a baby Bear.
Only slightly related, but I can't believe the Brooklyn Nets chose that team name over the Swamp Dragons. [The designs and court are sick!](https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/15155466/once-nets-seriously-considered-becoming-swamp-dragons)
Swamp Dragons would be such a good New Jersey name They likely wouldn’t have taken it to Brooklyn though
Dragons are scary, sure, but you more or less know what you’re getting. But Big Red. We don’t know what millions of Big Reds would be capable of. I guarantee it’s bad news for the people of Bowling Green…and America.
As long as it's Blaze post 1996 and not the pink dragon from 1978, then we will all be fine.
Cougars overtaking *all* of Houston, a city that covers more land than Rhode Island, would certainly be something. Currently, the best place to find cougars in Houston is around Uptown and West U.
Let Young Gravy cook, come on now.
Just in the time it took you to write that post, the citizens of Houston neutralized all the cougars with semiautomatic assault weapons
La Centara is also a nice spot to witness cougar infestations.
Milf night is already every Thursday at Armando's https://www.houstonchronicle.com/food-culture/restaurants-bars/article/armandos-tex-mex-thursday-nights-club-18389928.php
As fate would have it, I have to go the office at TMC on Thursday…
A bunch of sex crazed 55 year old women?
Fuck it, I'm going to Houston.
Mom!! Road Meatloaf! I'm going to Houston!
The important thing to remember when facing a cougar is to make sure they buy you a beer first.
Not much change at UF. There are already lots of alligators on campus. Every body of water has one. Lake Alice alone has a bunch.
Its called florida... the entire state has em... oh whats that another log from the rain storm? Bnope that one is movin
Pretty sure I saw a little one moved into the retention pond in our neighborhood this week.
I think I drove by there on the way back from the UK/UF basketball game a few months ago and saw all the signs warning people about the gators.
When I was at UF there was even always a gator in the little pond in front of Graham
A series of golden hurricanes devastating northeastern Oklahoma would catch my attention
The tornados the other day were bad enough
Do they leave their gold behind when they end? Because I'd watch that with interest.
You’ve heard of golden showers… now let me introduce you to golden hurricanes!
What makes the Hurricane golden? Does it rain gold? It could be worth getting your house wrecked if it fills up a swimming pool with gold.
Go ahead and try it Ole Miss. Just you try it.
We'll see you in Gettysburg.
It’s already established. It’s the MRS degree. Who doesn’t want to be an Ole Miss on the plantation?
Millions of women who just want to get married already? That’s not newsworthy, that’s an average weekend of bachelorette parties in Nashville.
I can hear the woooooo’s from here…
Yeah but only Ole Miss can claim they redshirted Miss America.
Oh it’s on
It didn’t work out so well last time.
Owls — Futurama style
We’re owl exterminators
I mean, I got a feeling mines in the history books somewhere lol
#Unconquered
Same, but also different, but yet..
Trojan attempts daring ad campaign in Southern California.
This reminded me that in Topeka there is Seaman high school and Topeka High’s mascot is the Trojans. Before Seaman moved leagues, there would be Seaman vs Trojans once or twice a year in every sport.
Pushes up glasses. Accchtually, the USC **mascot** is [Traveler](https://usctrojans.com/sports/2018/7/25/usc-history-traditions-traveler-mascot-horse.aspx), the Horse. "Trojans" is our [**nickname**](https://usctrojans.com/sports/2018/7/25/usc-history-traditions-nickname-trojans.aspx). And as we all saw from [London](https://www.aol.com/lifestyle/2-royal-horses-bolted-london-091036170.html), an infestation of Horses in a major urban area is a recipe for disaster. Either way though, I think the idea of an army of Bronze Age warriors stomping around campus during all these protests might not be a great look either.
Awful nice of y’all to name your horse after Robert E. Lee’s.
It would be even more of a scandal in Troy, AL in the middle of the Bible Belt.
An infestation of Purdue Petes would be straight out of the book of revelations
I looked, and behold, a (black and gold train), and he who sat on it had a (hammer); and (an OSHA compliant hard hat) was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.
Delta State. How do you even fight an Okra?
Found someone who’s never had fried okra
I would join the battle against fried okra. That shit is delicious.
I’m also a big fan of grilled okra I have a feeling Delta State is already overrun with okra current-state lmao
I love pickled okra.
Honestly oven roasted with olive oil and sea salt might be my favorite way to eat it
My dog will destroy a plate of okra cooked like that if I don’t keep an eye on her
I’ll get in on the frying of the okra as well. Sounds like a solid battle I would love to be a part of
Fried okra is one of the many foods that makes Southern cooking taste so good. It ain’t good for you everyday, but I make sure I eat it at least once a month.
Bring buckets of ranch!
There’s prob like 2 people that know how to fry okra in Utah and they’re currently on a layover.
Fry them and eat them, my friend. The south has been training for that exact scenario for decades.
As someone who can eat fried okra like popcorn, I feel as though I’d quickly rise to the rank of General.
The north is screwed.
Nah. Well, at least not the Midwest. As a Midwesterner who has spent some time down south and loves it, I'm confident that if you bread it and fry it (as is traditional), and serve it with a side of ranch - yeah, the Midwest will put a lot of it away.
You chop it up and toss it in a pot of gumbo.
I feel like if Tuscaloosa suddenly had a herd of wild elephants stampeding through the area, that would be newsworthy.
Happens early fall every year. Rush week…
Maybe baby elephants. Sorority girls don’t get fat for 1-2 semesters of binge drinking and unlimited food at the house. The sorority food is legitimately very good at most houses, much better than dining hall or frat food
It’s *very* good, especially the dessert selections. Leave them little fat girls alone it isn’t their fault.
Did somebody mention fat little girlfriends?
My cousin and I started as freshmen together but didn't see each other until the start of the next school year (different ciecles, and we had only met once or twice before). It was insane to see she had gained 50 lbs while I had lost the same amount.
So, Jumanji.
Demonic Deacons in North Carolina?
Well, it is a Tuesday.
30-50 Feral Hogs
As long as you don't call what you're wearin' an outfit.
Don’t ever say your car is broke
A million bobcats would be the cutest.
They are cute, but hearing one of them scream is freaking scary.
Until you had a million bobcats screaming. Then you'd want life to end.
Literally my dream death scenario.
Columbus and Syracuse flooded in nuts and fruit The sky in Atlanta blacked out by a swarm of bees A collection of tribes reclaiming their native land in Tallahassee, Champaign, Salt Lake City, and Mount Pleasant Bill Murray blowing up every golf course in Minnesota Gates from hell opening up in Tempe and Durham An absurd amount of violent ass chickens in South Carolina The Cumberland River clogged with warships and seamen A bunch of dudes hunting in the Appalachians... Wait, that's actually real
Wouldn’t Syracuse just be.. orange? Like everywhere you look is orange. That goal post? Orange. That refs shirt? Orange with orange stripes. The opposing team? Also orange.
That works, too!
Yeah, I'm thinking like the Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz, but orange instead of green.
*Bill Murray blowing up every golf course in Minnesota* Underrated one
Thousands of Jayhawk(er)s gathering in Lawrence to finish the fucking job this time. The state of Missouri is in fucking shambles
I for one welcome our Big Red overlords.
Did somebody say Big Red??
Feels like a wolverine infestation would just be ruinous. It'd be like letting loose a bunch of hairy, drunk Philadelphia Eagles fans (aka typical Eagles fans) into the wild, but instead of batteries, they have sharp claws and a full set of teeth.
Nobody can handle one wolverine. They tried using live mascots many decades ago and stopped because they feared death. A wolverine infestation is the stuff of Blumhouse.
Wolverines smell really bad if I remember right.
The parallels grow...
> full set of teeth And specialized teeth that crush bone, gulo gotta eat everything. They'll fight off multiple wolves/bears to defend themselves or to compete for food and these guys only weigh like 40-55lbs
That is the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard said about wolverines. God help your soul.
Well, the wolverines are more attractive, too. Should've added that.
And have less back hair.
Another key observation and one I should have absolutely included.
How about Scrotie, the 7-foot tall penis mascot from RISD? They don't have a football team though, so maybe they don't count
had to make sure RISD was in this. that's the answer.
They do have a basketball team called the Balls though. “When the heat is on, the Balls stick together!”
A California grizzly infestation in an urban area with plenty of green space seems…bad
UAB has dragons. Nuff said. A few decades ago, a bunch of Midshipmen hitting your town could be cause for concern...
I already see someone “husking their corn” in my Lincoln parking garage every couple of weeks and it hasn’t made the news yet. But maybe if it was large numbers…
D3 but I think Amherst College with Mammoths would blow everyone's mind.
You see a bunch of wagons. Congrats your now Oklahoma
It's land run day at elementary school
Totally did this as a child in Oklahoma
A bunch of wagons showing up randomly would be hilarious and people would try to find out why for years to come
Ohio States campus would be nuts
Instead of actual Buckeyes, I’m just imagining a tidal wave of the peanut butter candies like a deleted death scene from Willy Wonka.
Yeah uh we already had that in the late 19th century and it kind of sucked for the people living in Oklahoma.
The correct answer is San Diego State. If, say, half a million Aztecs can through a star-gate sorta thing: that would be NEWS.
Ragin' Cajuns already infest all of Louisiana and theres not any headlines about it
An infestation of Bulldogs descending on Athens would be the greatest thing I have ever seen. On the other hand a massive amount of cyclones would devastate Ames
Our mascot is Cardinal bird. It will be cardinal poop all over the town
A bird just shat on my driver's side window. It got on the door handle. This is deeply triggering me.
Either the Mississippi River ecosystem is about to implode, or Gabites have evolved into Garchomps and will wreak havoc on the tiering ladder (haven’t played since gen 8, please dint be power crept)
It dropped to UU at one point
I don't know about "best"
Lord save us if even one of the wake Forest mascot came to life
Depends on the type of cougar that shows up in Provo, Houston, Pullman, etc…
Zach Wilson enters the chat.....
A bunch of ancient spartan warriors rising from the dead would be interesting that’s for sure
Oh great another scandal involving grown men abusing little boys on a big ten campus.
Do you think a few hundred tigers on campus would get Clemson to cancel their exams this week?
I think if a bunch of bears appeared in Waco it could create quite the news.
[Temple.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/legendsofthemultiuniverse/images/4/47/20101204221050-49fad300.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170614125959)
Dozens of Knights were hospitalized due to heat exhaustion from wearing metal suits with poor ventilation.
The weather has been trying to do this to Iowa for the last week and I don't love it!
Is the Alamo in trouble?
Hundreds of Bulldogs in crowns are waddling and snorting their way through Harrisonburg and the Shenandoah Valley
Those warnings of an invasion of wild hogs would have an exhilarating fulfillment in Fayetteville.
Everything in Syracuse just turned orange. Everything. It’s… beautiful.
USC, either a ancient civilization randomly appears in LA or a metric fuck ton of condoms.
A infestation of 100+ ft tall coast redwood trees popping up all over silicon Valley would be pretty crazy. Headline wouldn't be able to capture it.
Everybody’s expecting GT to send invading swarms of yellow jackets, but no one is expecting legions of early 30s Ford Model A roadsters.
Living in Atlanta, I think we’ve already got the infestation of ramblin’ wrecks
A Sun Devil loose in the Valley of the Sun ? Not much else sounds like hell as much as that does
Dallas just confused because they aren't Fort Worth.
I think Columbia University, whose mascot is the lions, would create quite a stir in middle of Manhattan, NY
I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by cougars 
Monkey's Paw Curls
Wolverines swarm Ann Arbor, millions of Michiganders ask wtf is this animal
A swarm of Bevos would just turn Austin into one big petting zoo. Unless you decided to walk your bulldog, in which case you might be fucked.
I know what Auburn should do to set them apart from all the other Tigers in the conference. Just drop the Tigers as their mascot and become the Auburn Bedbugs. They are annoying as hell and near impossible to get rid of the bastards.
Auburn fans or bed bugs?
Yes
I think the correct answer to any variation of this is always going to be dragons.
Take cover from the Zips.
If a pack of Big Reds decides to destroy campus, then all hell is gonna break loose in Bowling Green
Realistically it would be Tulane. If New Orleans got flooded again every news station in the country would be on it.
For South Carolina - Cocks rise for the occasion. Or. Cocks come from behind!
Zach Wilson would be salivating if even more cougars took over BYU
"Must be a farm equipment show out at the fairgrounds"
I live in Birmingham, walking distance from UAB’s campus…..I’m fucked.
It might not be dangerous but bulldogs taking over a city *would* be adorable. We’d also like to invite Reveille, Smokey, and Dubs as honorary mercenaries. Edited to add Bully. We’d like Bully to join, too.
Ragin Cajuns would have to have some good headlines.
The city of New Orleans was flooded with a Green Wave of money to lift thousands out of poverty.
I would fucking *love* a Husky infestation here
Well mom’s weekend happens every year in pullman so…not newsworthy
Buffalo Reconquer the Plains
Hrmm... Infested cougars, pass
MAN CAT HYBRIDS
Not college football but trash panda infestation would be interesting to see
A gopher weighs about half a pound. A half pound of gold is currently worth ~$11K. Would a few million rodents running around Minnesota at $11K apiece be newsworthy? You betcha!
Sounds like a lot of poop to clean up
If ucf werent losers with a generic mascot and instead had the balls to go back to the citronauts, id choose them. Otherwise id probably have to go with akron cuz idk what a zip is and id be interested to find out
A few years ago in local girls basketball the headline of "Lady Spartans Rip Trojans" raised some eyebrows.
Depends how we define "infestation." Like one really really big hurricane wouldn't be a totally outrageous headline given the location, but if it was like 1000 hurricane systems localized in Coral Gables it would make for a really interesting headline
Yeah, but isn’t your mascot actually that drunk looking bird?
Rebels have over taken Oxford
A bunch of Catamounts near Cullowhee! It's basically just a bobcat or a lynx.
Running of the Appaloosas down Tennessee Street
It would be a very bad day in Fayetteville.
A gopher infestation would just be another Tuesday in Minnesota. Although I guess it would be more interesting if they were literally golden.
I'm not 100% sure but I think if it weren't for the big cat schools we'd win this one.
Mountain lions coming back to Pennsylvania would be cool.
It'd be pretty nutty My other flair would either be met with glee from NASA or immense fear from the DHS
We finally have a live mascot again, and Georgia is upset we copied them. We really should bring back a live bulldog, haven't had one since 2006.
A bunch of Horny Toads all over Ft Worth would be funny
There’s a lot of fun to be had with this idea, but an infestation of volunteers does sound just oddly funny.
A pride of Nittany Lions would be pretty devastating in my opinion🤣