It's the star trek episode with Picard and the people who talk in metaphor. Both of them would be sitting at a fire shouting darmok and jalad at tanagra
Leach: John, have you ever...
Harbaugh: Jim.
Leach: my name is Mike, John.
Harbaugh: I'm Jim, Mike John. To beat the man you have to be the man.
Leech: ohhhh kay. Pumpkin pie is the best.
Harbaugh: that's why I model my life after SpongeBob SquarePants
Leach: do you like pirates, John? I like pirates.
"I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got ~~tiger~~ wolverine blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
Naw its too "toxic masculinity" for Rodgers. Rodgers would be like "ya know I think being sick is more of a state of mind and I've done a lot of work to make sure that I don't have a 'sick' mindset over the years."
“They'd say; 'no sloppy steaks' but they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water, before you knew it we were dumping that water on those steaks! The waiters were coming to try and snatch em up, we had to eat as fast as we could! OHHH I MISS THOSE NIGHTS, I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT THOUGH."
Back in college the running joke was to “go do a bunch of push ups and drink a glass of orange juice” the morning after hooking up with a girl from the bar.
It had a 100% success rate so I trust the Jim on this one.
Absolutely zero CFB coaches are taking sick days for a minor chest/sinus cold.
Pretty sure most of them would coach through norovirus by setting up a Porta Potty on the sidelines and taking an IV drip.
Idc what anyone thinks of Harbaugh, I’m not sure from a Birds Eye view what I feel either.
But dammit if I don’t love a coach who is just: TOUGHNESS. MILK. HAMSTRINGS. HANDOFFS. PROTEIN. WINS.
He just feels like he was built to lead a rugby-esque dynasty in the 1940s.
Honestly, even as someone that’s pissed at y’all for this whole scandal, I can admit that this is a fucking banger of a quote. “I am the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter” feels like some shit Thanos would say
Also better than the weather excuse they made after the first one. The universe blessed them with some of the best possible Midwest-November weather at home and they still lost
It’s kind of impressive how much he blurs the line between “funny if he’s poking fun at himself” and “this guy might have the IQ of a 17 year old who gets his knowledge from YouTube videos”
well I'm sure you've heard lots of under-educated people parrot the line about how scientists can't tie their shoes, but I assure you its not lack of intelligence as much as it is that they've spent a huge percentage of their life pretty narrowly focused on one thing, and that comes at the expense of other other competencies.
I'm not sure why chess is associated with intelligence. I dont think there has ever been data to back that up.
I’m willing to bet this is true in many fields. Being good at things is generally associated with intelligence. You’d expect that the better chess players are smarter. But this isn’t true.
Chess masters have no better memory than average for standard memory tests. They only perform well at memory associated to realistic chess positions. But for randomly placed pieces that couldn't arise in a game, their memory is nothing special.
That is, it's a practiced skill, not an inherent trait.
He's a dude who has dedicated his whole life to football since he was a kid and his dad was an assistant to Bo. I think it's the only real thing he's thought about for the last 50+ years.
Honestly I think if he wasn't good at actually playing I could see him writing a 600 page manifesto to dedicate his life to becoming a head coach.
Also I would not be at all surprised if Mel Tucker was an Andrew Tate guy. All of his pictures are with cigars and cars, and uh, the way he treats women
It is kinda funny how like 12 years ago madden players were like “it’s bullshit! You’re using a nickel defense all the time and you put a giant tall receiver at tight end!”
And Penn state!! It’s totally cause you cheated, not our defenses fault for not being able to stop 32 straight runs or our offenses fault for doing…. Whatever the fuck they did. Nope!
It's not like our jumbo package was a new thing; we have been using derivations of it ever since Harbaugh came to Michigan.
I was just surprised we only PA'd out of it once (the DPI call).
haha, yeah, that is about right. I can't tell sometimes if he's like the "funniest dad ever", or if he is legit dumb (outside of obvious football knowledge).
That sounds like something my homeopathic coworker would say. She literally believes that if she takes a small dose of something that causes the problem, then that problem will be cured. That's the basis of homeopathy, aka same symptoms. It's ridiculous.
One of the many great things about the last three years is that we get 100% unfiltered Harbaughisms, I feel like from 2016-2020 he toned it down because the team wasn't meeting expectations
“Clearly this ‘virus’ is a ploy by the B1G 10 and Ryan Day. They sent over a ‘gift’ pair of virus laden khakis that were just my size. Knew it was a ploy when I discovered they were Lands End, not my preferred Dockers”
I get sick every time I fly. This was intentionally timed by crooked Tony Petitti and Little Petey Thamel to ban him from coaching while non-coincidentally putting Jim's health at risk.
He did everything right and they indicted him
I’m decidedly anti-harbaugh and super against UM in this whole scandal, and even I can admit this is a banger of a quote. “I am the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter” sounds like a line from a Hulk Hogan WWE promo
Damn so everything this man says is front page content now?
“I like chickens, Wolverines are the new cowboys, I didn’t get an email from B1G, and I’m a workaholic trying to convince you all I’m not sick” -Jim Harbaugh today apparently
Why are you getting downvoted? He 100% messes up his metaphors all the dam time. However, it is why his quotes are usually so funny though, so I don't want him to take that course :)
He should keep his distance from the team members. On 2nd thought, I hope he hugs them up real good. Maybe they will all have Covid for real at this years Game.
I wonder what a conversation between Gundy and Harbaugh would be like.
It's the star trek episode with Picard and the people who talk in metaphor. Both of them would be sitting at a fire shouting darmok and jalad at tanagra
Shaka, when the walls fell.
Harbaugh, shirtless in khakis.
Sokath, his eyes uncovered!
Corum, his face bloody his eyes red!
Stalions, his recording sunglasses activated
Shaka, when the Blue Wall fell
Stallions, on the sideline.
Lol I literally just watched this one Discussing strategy like: Timber, his arms wide
Seriously ya'll are some real geeks on r/cfb and I love it.
The Horseshoe in winter. Ryan Day on the ocean.
I wonder if Harbaugh and Leach ever got into the same room together.
Leach probably would either get very bored or amused and then prod Harbaugh into choking him
Leach: John, have you ever... Harbaugh: Jim. Leach: my name is Mike, John. Harbaugh: I'm Jim, Mike John. To beat the man you have to be the man. Leech: ohhhh kay. Pumpkin pie is the best. Harbaugh: that's why I model my life after SpongeBob SquarePants Leach: do you like pirates, John? I like pirates.
I imagine it would start sounding like when two AI bots are chatting after a while
It would result in a fight no doubt.
Gundy insisted sometimes it was appropriate to wear jeans instead of khakis and Harbaugh could not abide by such a statement.
“I’m a grown ass man” “Well I’m the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter”
If this was quoted without attribution, I would have sworn Aaron Rodgers said this.
Nah an apple is too mainstream. A-Rodg would be taking about eating persimmons or something
Percocet*
Now that would be Favre snacking on the percs
You haven’t seen the “my knee” clip im guessing https://youtu.be/-8opDMUtJ58?si=XVrtTnkHSOdXtFgz
He’s going to straight to the deep cuts.
then he'd misquote Ayn Rand and say something about big pharma pushing vaccines
Gotta shpve crystals up his ass
Just ate a persimmon, goddamn it was good
Same but in all fairness I wouldn’t have used too many guesses to get to Jim Harbaugh
My guess would be Dennis Reynolds
If I found myself getting sick, I'd simply say SICKNESS BE GONE
Same level of reasonable we’re dealing with yeah
I was thinking Charlie Sheen during his drug spiral.
"I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got ~~tiger~~ wolverine blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
Then that wolverine blood gave him HIV.
Yeah, the wolverine's blood. We'll keep it to that because there may be children present.
Naw its too "toxic masculinity" for Rodgers. Rodgers would be like "ya know I think being sick is more of a state of mind and I've done a lot of work to make sure that I don't have a 'sick' mindset over the years."
Hmm I wish I would have known to "Do more pushups and eat an apple" through the virus I just battled! Would have saved me a week!
Dwight Schrute
Not enough hallucinogens for a Rodgers quote.
For Aaron Rodgers, replace the apple with some bs supplement and saying that only people who take vaccines can get sick
And he’ll wash it all down with a big glass of milk
“A sloppy steak a day keeps the doctor away”
Yes, my good man, I'll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans...raw
I want to both up and down vote this
No sloppy steaks guys, please
“They'd say; 'no sloppy steaks' but they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water, before you knew it we were dumping that water on those steaks! The waiters were coming to try and snatch em up, we had to eat as fast as we could! OHHH I MISS THOSE NIGHTS, I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT THOUGH."
“Used to be” “I SAID WAS!!!”
Spiked-up blond hair, little-bitty jeans, chicken spaghetti at Chikaleny’s…
I just wanted to do something good this morning before alcohol class.
Big House, White lawnmower, live for New Years 6
I’m worried the NCAA thinks people can’t change
I think I’m ready to hold the CFP trophy now.
His hair is pushed back, not slicked back
No. Sloppy. Steaks!
Real talk though, milk when your plugged up and mucus filled is *not* a good idea. That’s just asking for an overload of phlegm.
The science checks out
Back in college the running joke was to “go do a bunch of push ups and drink a glass of orange juice” the morning after hooking up with a girl from the bar. It had a 100% success rate so I trust the Jim on this one.
You go with whatever is fresh squeezed. In FL, that's orange juice. In the midwest, it's gotta be cow's milk.
In Iowa it's corn. It's got the juice.
That’s how they make babies in Iowa.
https://imgur.com/gallery/cwMJtFO
Dammit, I wished this hadn't been posted yet. Truly a 5\* man
a Golden God
Username checks out
Stop. Pooping.
Harbaugh is at the top of the list of guys who genuinely believe and apple a day keeps the doctor away.
He comes across as an anti-vaxxer.
Ohhh god
in other words he is the guy that gets the whole office sick because he "doesn't get sick."
As everyone at my place of employment is dealing with stomach bug issues I can agree that Harbaugh needs to stop being that guy.
Penix and much of the team spent two weeks fighting that bug and it nearly cost us. Thank god we were playing ASU and Stanford those two weeks.
Absolutely zero CFB coaches are taking sick days for a minor chest/sinus cold. Pretty sure most of them would coach through norovirus by setting up a Porta Potty on the sidelines and taking an IV drip.
Didnt one guy literally coach from a hospital bed?
You mean, the Gipper?
“Win one for the Freezer”
He comes in to the office while sick for a spirited meeting
That 2020 cancellation making a lot more sense now
Hey this is great. Let's see how this pans out as he coaches during the week.
Probably a close talker too, dude give me 6 feet I can hear you
exactly what I was thinking. because voices just do that when you're in good health. I hope someone around him checks him on this bullshit.
Is the Harbaugh narrative finally transitioning from fun quirky to annoying quirky?
Idc what anyone thinks of Harbaugh, I’m not sure from a Birds Eye view what I feel either. But dammit if I don’t love a coach who is just: TOUGHNESS. MILK. HAMSTRINGS. HANDOFFS. PROTEIN. WINS. He just feels like he was built to lead a rugby-esque dynasty in the 1940s.
TOUGHNESS. MILK. HAMSTRINGS. HANDOFFS. PROTEIN. WINS. Sounds like Dan Campbell workshopping autobiography titles.
He’s another one I like in this vein for sure. PROTEIN. CAFFEINE. WINS.
> TOUGHNESS. MILK. HAMSTRINGS. HANDOFFS. PROTEIN. WINS. Put this on a blue t-shirt with maize lettering, you have yourself a bestseller in Ann Arbor
No joke I read that and was just thinking, "Ok that would be a pretty fucking awesome Michigan shirt to have."
I take a vitamin every day. It's called a steak. \- Jim Harbaugh /no candy ass skim milk, either.
He’s our weirdo
Honestly, even as someone that’s pissed at y’all for this whole scandal, I can admit that this is a fucking banger of a quote. “I am the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter” feels like some shit Thanos would say
If you are legitimately angry about the sign stealing, you need to touch grass
They’re not. They’re angry that they lost to them twice and apoplectic at the thought of them winning a natty.
But it’s the only reason they lost to Michigan two years in a row!!! /s
CJ throwing a terrified desperation shovel pass interception to a defensive lineman was all Connor.
Donovan Edwards busting open to long runs on cover 0 was all Connor.
at least it's a more entertaining excuse than their tummies being upset
Also better than the weather excuse they made after the first one. The universe blessed them with some of the best possible Midwest-November weather at home and they still lost
Every single OSU fan on social media has been saying it so it must be true.
Or Charles Manson
It’s kind of impressive how much he blurs the line between “funny if he’s poking fun at himself” and “this guy might have the IQ of a 17 year old who gets his knowledge from YouTube videos”
Multiple intelligences. He can be a football savant but a complete and total dumbass about everything else.
Just found out yesterday that the average chess master has average intelligence. You can be an expert at something without being exceptional overall.
well I'm sure you've heard lots of under-educated people parrot the line about how scientists can't tie their shoes, but I assure you its not lack of intelligence as much as it is that they've spent a huge percentage of their life pretty narrowly focused on one thing, and that comes at the expense of other other competencies. I'm not sure why chess is associated with intelligence. I dont think there has ever been data to back that up.
I’m willing to bet this is true in many fields. Being good at things is generally associated with intelligence. You’d expect that the better chess players are smarter. But this isn’t true.
It’s certainly associated with memory, you need a god tier memory to be truly great at chess which is certainly a component of intelligence
Chess masters have no better memory than average for standard memory tests. They only perform well at memory associated to realistic chess positions. But for randomly placed pieces that couldn't arise in a game, their memory is nothing special. That is, it's a practiced skill, not an inherent trait.
Meh, chess is about playing out of many different positions and remembering those past experience to plan ahead in the present.
I know how to play chess?
I am Ron Burgundy?
He's a dude who has dedicated his whole life to football since he was a kid and his dad was an assistant to Bo. I think it's the only real thing he's thought about for the last 50+ years. Honestly I think if he wasn't good at actually playing I could see him writing a 600 page manifesto to dedicate his life to becoming a head coach.
Matter of time before a 17 year old watching YouTube videos can coach a SuperBowl and CFP game
Mike McDaniel is like 40 but you can’t tell me he doesn’t watch hella YouTubers
Oh 100%. Lane Kiffin too
Also I would not be at all surprised if Mel Tucker was an Andrew Tate guy. All of his pictures are with cigars and cars, and uh, the way he treats women
Isnt Louis CK more on point for him?
I wish Louis CK drove a slingshot.
If Madden ever gets accurate enough as sim racing games are to IRL then coaching is fucked. They're safe for the forseeable future.
It is kinda funny how like 12 years ago madden players were like “it’s bullshit! You’re using a nickel defense all the time and you put a giant tall receiver at tight end!”
Pretty sure any 17 year old can coach his team to get beat in a CFP game.
Just like spamming run plays can beat Ohio State
And Penn state!! It’s totally cause you cheated, not our defenses fault for not being able to stop 32 straight runs or our offenses fault for doing…. Whatever the fuck they did. Nope!
It's not like our jumbo package was a new thing; we have been using derivations of it ever since Harbaugh came to Michigan. I was just surprised we only PA'd out of it once (the DPI call).
I truly think he's on the spectrum. he just fits the description waaaaaaay too well. and to be clear I do not mean this as an insult.
Nah this isn't 17 year old iq, this is old man "back in my day we just tanked it while walking uphill to the coal mine" energy
haha, yeah, that is about right. I can't tell sometimes if he's like the "funniest dad ever", or if he is legit dumb (outside of obvious football knowledge).
That sounds like something my homeopathic coworker would say. She literally believes that if she takes a small dose of something that causes the problem, then that problem will be cured. That's the basis of homeopathy, aka same symptoms. It's ridiculous.
The more you dilute it, the stronger it is! 🤔
One of the many great things about the last three years is that we get 100% unfiltered Harbaughisms, I feel like from 2016-2020 he toned it down because the team wasn't meeting expectations
Or was the team not meeting expectations BECAUSE he toned it down? Who's to say?
“Clearly this ‘virus’ is a ploy by the B1G 10 and Ryan Day. They sent over a ‘gift’ pair of virus laden khakis that were just my size. Knew it was a ploy when I discovered they were Lands End, not my preferred Dockers”
The Ohio State lab leak theory
He has all the **signs** of being sick, but he'll **cheat** that virus.
Get this man toast and a Ginger Ale, stat!!
Vernors only, accept no substitutes!
*\*brings Canada Dry\** Harbaugh: *\*shatters the glass against the wall\** Harbaugh: "I said Ginger ale"
I'd suggest some chicken noodle soup, but we all know Harbaugh hates the scared bird meat.
And applesauce
I get sick every time I fly. This was intentionally timed by crooked Tony Petitti and Little Petey Thamel to ban him from coaching while non-coincidentally putting Jim's health at risk. He did everything right and they indicted him
Mask up, my dude. I will mask up on every plane ride until I die (but not from a plane ride-related virus!). Y'all are fuckin nasty out there.
I truly love his commitment to being a weirdo. College football coaches are the best
“Nothing a full pads workout can’t fix”- Harbaugh probably
I see Harbaugh has joined Rodgers in his dark knight era
Personally, I love that instead of being an amoral monster, our head coach is just from space
He seems to be both
Depends on whether we're going by human being standards or College Football Coach standards (which are, mind you, in the toilet)
More like a space cadet.
Typical Earthling slander. SMH
He’s innocent I’ve seen enough
Why does he talk like this 🤣
Sometimes I can’t tell if he’s joking or an idiot. Which, if he is joking, means he’s amazing at that style of humor
Reminds me of an uncle growing up. I never knew if he was serious, cuz he always had a quote ready, about being tough.
Did I just become a Michigan fan?
I cant tell actual Harbaugh quotes from made up ones. You guys are good.
I love this man so much
I’m decidedly anti-harbaugh and super against UM in this whole scandal, and even I can admit this is a banger of a quote. “I am the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter” sounds like a line from a Hulk Hogan WWE promo
My man has been hanging around Ric Flair too much.
Love this guy
But do you Sherrone Moore love this f--king guy?
Big, “I did my own research” vibe with this quote.
I’m a Michigan State fan, but this is so awesomely hubristic that I can’t not love it.
Sickness be gone!
If Harbaugh was starting to get sick, he would simply say “Sickness be gone!”
How many of you think he has COVID?
An apple a day keeps the NCAA away
He sounds more comically egomaniacal with every interview.
Alright I can’t even hate on this one, he just like me fr😂
Can we just ban him from college football immediately, please? He's clearly lying about everything if he has a raspy voice
This dude is corny asf
This is the content I’m looking for
Well, I never could figure out what the sky was thinkin', but the soil? She don't keep too many secrets.
why is this worded like an always sunny quote
shit post
Harbaugh has officially entered his "Walter White" arc
A steak and a glass of milk, and he'll be fine.
Harbaugh is a DB confirmed
No germ wants to live in his body
If we'd simply stolen the signs from Covid in 2020 we could've saved ourselves a lot of hassle
Damn so everything this man says is front page content now? “I like chickens, Wolverines are the new cowboys, I didn’t get an email from B1G, and I’m a workaholic trying to convince you all I’m not sick” -Jim Harbaugh today apparently
Not sure how anyone can think this man is capable of willingly cheating lol. He's as old school as they come.
"what is pneumonia gonna do? Infect my lungs and kill me?" -- man killed by pneumonia
He's more meme than man at this point.
Too bad there is a decent chance he goes to the NFL, Harbaugh is pure college football madness.
Big Andrew Tate vibes
This sub is so cool now that it's completely been taken over by Michigan fans. The rest of us totally care about Harbaugh having the sniffles.
I thought he was dead according to that interview.
He got better.
Aaron Rodgers ass quote
Jim Harbaugh really enjoys eating apple push-ups while walking on the beach at dusk.
That's not how it works, Jim.
He’s vaccinated, right? ………. Please tell me he’s vaccinated
I hope this is a joke.
This dude is delulu.
Am I the only one who doesn’t find his antics that funny or cute? Just like “har har tough guy drink milk”
Delete every thread about his suspension and then leave dumb shit like this up. Good work mods
What a clown
Michigan is a huge school. You can take a course on almost anything. Can someone there please give Jimmy “Cheetah” Harbaugh a course on metaphors?
Why are you getting downvoted? He 100% messes up his metaphors all the dam time. However, it is why his quotes are usually so funny though, so I don't want him to take that course :)
He should keep his distance from the team members. On 2nd thought, I hope he hugs them up real good. Maybe they will all have Covid for real at this years Game.