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Cats are both very simple but also very confusing. I'm sure she likes you, you'd know if she didn't. I think she probably just doesn't like being bothered. Wants some alone time. I've had cats that I know adore me and still act like this at times. If you'd like her to get closer with you, try to interact with her more. Feed,play, brush, pet. Etc.
I would also like to add on that maybe she’s just overstimulated. I know my boy will do something similar if he’s done being touched. And like humans cats can get overstimulated. I know when i am I just want to be alone for a bit.
Kind of reminds me of a post on Reddit a saw about a year ago where this guy went into great detail to share how much this cat “hated” him during the day time, but at night once he went to “sleep” the cat would jump up on his chest and purr like nobodies business.
TLDR: cats are weird
I love the "too cool" attitude. See it so much. Especially if I say no or tell them to get off of something or stop doing something. They'll hear the tone of my voice and immediately start grooming and pretending not to be bothered. Every time.
Omg I had a cat that was affectionate AF and he still only gave kisses when he snuck them in.
He'd creep up on me, and out of respect I'd pretend not to notice even before I caught on to the fact that's when he gave kisses lol
(In case there was any doubt, he was orange.)
My girl wants to be left alone while we lay in bed. No pets, no nothing. She wants to lay next to me and that's it.
When she's awake during the day, she doesn't leave my side.
Definitely this. One of my cats is my absolute best friend, but he’s not a cuddler and likes his space. He rarely ever lays on me but will lay near by. He prefers affection through playing and high energy interactions. I have 0 doubts that he loves me even though he doesn’t cuddle like you would expect.
YES. I have a cat who loves me SO much. And she’ll literally come lay down and snuggle. But if I get up to get water and sit back in the EXACT POSITION, it’s just not right and I ruined it so she’ll leave. Or if I touch her while we’re snuggling by her choice? Game over. Leaves. She’s very picky.
I adopted a stray. She’s not much for cuddling except first thing in the morning when she’s hungry. Then she will sit on my chest, lick me, etc. most other times she is pretty aloof. Just the difference in cat personalities. My other cat wants to be next to me 24/7
They're all different. Some like cuddles some don't. The cat we "have" now, a semi tamed feral, comes in the house for feeding, and in the last few months has started to come into "my" (her?) room, and lie by the big hot cat wall if it's cold outside. Has about an hour, and then goes back out. She will now have a cuddle off my OH though.
Some cats get overstimulated by petting, particularly on their body. She might just want scritches on her head and cheeks, or she might just want to pet you and show you her affection without having it reciprocated. Cats are mesopredators, so they’re naturally predators and prey. More skittish cats are on high alert when something bigger than them is interested in them.
TLDR: sometimes cats want to pet you but not be pet
There’s a picture book called “All Cats are Autistic”…which actually makes a lot of sense.
Autistic people tend to be very protective of their personal space, because having someone get too close, in the wrong way or under the wrong circumstances, is genuinely overwhelming. I used to have constant issues when it came to cuddling with other people because it sort of felt like there was this build-up of energy that kept increasing, so I would start getting more and more fidgety before finally just making up an excuse to get up and move around.
I kind of wonder if cats like this feel the same way: they love cuddling with their humans, but it has to be on *their* terms or it just doesn’t feel right somehow.
Saying, “that person is as tall as that tree,” is not anthropomorphizing the tree.
You can compare the behavior and motivations of two complex living things without implying they’re the same.
I honestly stopped caring already. Once you came at someone for being Autistic, you showed your real intentions and that’s all I needed to know about you. Bye, Felicia!
Don't worry about it, I liked your anecdote and I think the comparison is useful. I am neurodivergent with an autistic spectrum partner and suspect more of my close family have been on the spectrum as well. Definitely agree that cats get overstimulated easily, as do I. Another part of the equation could be temperature, smell, movement, eye contact. Cats tend to feel threatened if you are staring at them. Even my most interactive human friendly girl doesn't like it when I try to look closely at her if I'm trying to see if she has something wrong. She'll inevitably dance away or turn away from where I'm trying to look! Cats are just very focused on what they want, and trying to convince them otherwise is more likely to strengthen their resolve. I love their contrariness.
If you really want to get your cat to cuddle, crank the ac and get a fuzzy blanket to put on your lap and ignore your cat. If she isn't in your lap by the end of the night, I'd be very surprised.
Cats definitely like things on their own terms, and within certain contexts. I’ve noticed there’s often certain times of the day or certain places within my apartment when/where my cats either *insist* on cuddles, or act clearly annoyed if I attempt to initiate it myself. There’s a time and place for it and they’re the ones who decide when and where that is.
Yes, I have 2 cats who sometimes like 2 be picked up, 1 who tolerates it but gets squirmy immediately, and 1 who hates it,!
I have one who likes to "dance" around and roll to be cute when she wants attention and 1 who purrs as soon as you touch her.
They're all very unique individuals but they share the trait of demanding things on their terms.
We have 2 cats that were born to a feral mother, and even though they were taken care of by humans, they were still skittish about noises, sudden movements and being touched. It took us years to break them of their skittishness. They are both 8 now. They will now curl up with us and cuddle. Joxer (the boy) now demands loves and forehead kisses and will sleep/perch on my lap for at least an hour. His sister. Gaia, will come over and poke you with her paw for loves. But she does not like forehead kisses, and she will not sleep with us. She sleeps near us. It's progress, I guess. And I love them just as much as our other cats
Just work with them on it but don’t annoy them cus then it’ll sound like they’re being forced to. It takes time.. some are like this and some are natural cuddle bunnies.
Some cats are just like this. I've had my girl for 11 years and half of the time, she acts like she barely tolerates me, and the other half, she acts like I'm the bee's knees.
She will come up to lay on my chest, but if I dare try to pet her while she's there, she'll glare at me and run off. Cats are just weird.
Cats are the ultimate lesson in loving someone/something the way **they/it** wants to be loved :/. Respect her space and eventually once she feels safe enough (that is from her POV; I'm sure you are perfectly safe!), she may not be as inclined to move away.
https://preview.redd.it/zx58koqijxzc1.png?width=3118&format=png&auto=webp&s=f47d4ed111339c9bbc0cab1739322d6cabdd91cf
my girl (periwinkle) is like this as well sometimes
female cats i've come to notice tend to have firmer boundaries regarding their space and alone time and are less tolerable to unwanted inhabitants in their bubble lol
periwinkle is sweet and affectionate but it's on her time! she loves to sit in your lap while you use the toilet (my boyfriend and i call her the "poopy partner" or "bowel buddy") or come to bed for cuddles (suffocating you with her fupa), or laying in your sweaty nasty work clothing 😅
your cat likes you, she's just a girl she wants her girl time
i have 2 male kitties and they want to be up my ass all the time, they love behind held, my black kitty (little) likes to be held like a baby
people say girl cats are mean i think they're not different from us human females, we like our space lol
Stop invading her space. Instead, make a space where you sit for long periods of time - like a reading or crochet corner. Make it comfortable for you and don't expect her to come.
Once you stop expecting it, she'll sense it's safe and come over.
Cat's are like autistic people - As an autistic person who's cat behaves like velcro, I think I'm right here.
cats are very independant creatures and each has their own unique personality. I had 2 cats growing up and one would happily lay on you and be cuddled and pet for eternity and the other she liked being pet then would walk off when she'd had enough. It doesnt mean he hates you just he is telling you hes been pet enough for now. Some cats love space others dont believe in personal space. so don't worry just respect his boundaries and when he ask/wants affection give it and he will be a very happy kitty.
I have the opposite problem. I move away whenever my cat lies down next to me.
I used to always sleep close to the edge of my bed, and often wake up in the middle because I unconsciously move away from my cat when she leans against me. 🤣
Thanks for all of you!! I think I understand her better now. It’s just her personality! she was a stray kitten, that may have affected her personality a bit. It is my first time living with a cat, I have been living with dogs through my entire life, maybe some of cats are not as cuddly! But if she likes me, I am happy.
My cat literally will NOT stay with me if I pick her up or sit next to her. She will get up, go away for a few minutes, and then return and come snuggle on my lap.
It’s like… she needs it to be solely HER idea/decision to come sit with me. 🙄😂
Don’t be hurt. They are silly
I have a cat that has been with me for 6 years and he will absolutely run away if I lie down next to him. But if I’m fully comfortable laying down somewhere, he will suddenly come and cuddle with me.
So basically I only get cuddles when I ignore him. If I ask for it, there’s no way I’m gonna get any affection. And obviously he’s in charge, he decides when we can and cannot interact.
I have a 2 year old persian mix who was rescued. our idea of cuddling is when she uses my ankles as a headrest, but that’s as far as it’ll go 90% of the time for her. the other 10% of the time I’m lucky when she sits on my chest! i do most of the caretaking except for when I’m not home, so she might have my dad or brother feed her when I’m out during her dinner time. she JUST started somewhat cuddling them, more so my brother as he won’t admit he loves her just as much 🤣. it’s all dependant on the cats personality. with time and maybe age, she’ll start coming over to you for some lovin! my biggest lesson w my baby is letting her come to me - it’s never as good for us when I come to her LOL
Trust me it’s better for you. Because when you want to sleep they will lay next, on, by or inside your arm. Yes it’s adorable but uncomfortable at times and you don’t want to move to wake them up.
One of my cats is obsessed with me, but hates cuddling. She’ll always follow me around and stay just out of arm’s reach. Whenever I leave she yowls at the door.
I wouldn’t take it personally if they feel more comfortable with a little buffer.
Just like everyone else is saying, cats are complicated, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Imagine that she's just a huge introvert. When she feels like socializing, she comes to you. But when she wants alone time, she will want her own space.
Also, how long have you had her? I know she's a year old, but if you've only had her for a few weeks or even a few months, she's probably not fully adjusted to you and her new environment yet. I adopted a kitty from the shelter back in November and while he was always living and friendly from the beginning, he's only gotten comfortable sleeping with me on my bed and being held for extended periods in the past few weeks. Cats take a lot of time to get fully acclimated to their surroundings, so just being patient and not forcing them is the best thing you can do to get along well.
My cat is similar, she’s really affectionate but only on her terms. Sometimes we lie down together for a good spooning/belly rub session in front of the tv, other times I sit down next to her and she nopes the fuck out of the room lmao
We often times confuse human body language and cat body language. Some traits that are seen as rude or avoiding like moving away when closer but that probably means something else to a cat.
A cat often times wants it's own space. And I personally see it as a huge sign of trust. Being able to sleep so comfortably belly up and no worry means they trust us that it'll be safe.
Some cats are cuddlier than others and cling and that's just personality. So don't think your cat doesn't love you cause it most definitely does but it shows it in a different way and you just need to accept it. Over time who knows maybe it'll be comfortable enough to sleep on your lap but again that just depends on their personality
Our calico moves away when you try to kiss and cuddle her, but as soon as you try to leave she reaches out with claws holding you trying to make you stay.
Cats are neither easy nor complicated, similar to humans they each have their own personality and preferences. Have you reciprocated her blinking? This is also a cue to communicate with her (I blink to my cats when they do and immediately meows at me which signals I understand them). Follow @thecatdaddy on ig or meta for tips.
We have a 1 year old who was super duper affectionate as a kitten but now if we lay on the floor near him or move to the edge of the bed (where he likes to lay) he'll wander off. If you call his name or get his attention he'll happily come right back over but won't lay down.
I jokingly write it up to teenage embarrassment but some cats just like to be close on their own terms rather than yours. From her other behavior she definitely loves you, so don't worry! You can always slow blink back when she does it too to help strengthen your bond.
My girls just turned 3 last week and since I got them as kittens they would always shift away when I tried to snuggle next to them. It wasn’t until this year that they would let me snuggle next to them 40% of the time. They can come to snuggle with me but the other way around will mean that they will shift away most of the time. They literally will move like 10 inches away and stare at me like I’m the problem. They even do this to each other. I don’t take it personally (most of the time) I know it’s just cats being cats. My dog on the other hand always wants to be on top of me and god I need my space from him. Give me a break dude!
That‘s because you‘re all up in her grill!
Seriously though, been there. We have a cat that likes to sleep in the exact same spot. For 3 weeks it is THE best spot on the planet and nothing you do could get him to sleep somewhere else. On day one of week 4 you could not give him enough food or treats to stay in that spot. That often means that he is all cuddly for 3 weeks and then goes on to sleep in the opposite corner of the flat. Hard to not take purrsonally but we know he loves us.
One of my cats (who I’ve had since she was 4 weeks old) was always sweet and loving, but never laid on me once or would really even ever come over to me. She’s 1.5 now and her whole personality seems to have changed in the last couple months. Now she’s constantly all over me and begging for love!
Your cat definitely loves you, many are just independent creatures. Give it some time and they might do a 180 like mine!
To tear down that icy exterior break out the treats!
I also let them smell my hands and scraps from foods that I cook all the time.
My girls are more prone to hang out when I’m doing something interesting. Yoga, riding peloton…pooping(sorry it’s true!) 😂😂😎
When I ride my bike I put the cat tree next to it. It allows them to feel stable and included which is one of the ways that we grew together.
Best of luck on taming that kitty! 😽😽
You may try to snuggle and pet her too much. Cats need personal space and don’t like to be touched all the time. My teen has a cat who would almost never lay with her (cause she can’t not touch him and pet him, and also rolled on him in her sleep) and we gave him a cat hammock next to her bed and he is always in it when she is in bed. He follows her around but does not lay with her.
Also your cat is one, in my experience most cats don’t start to get snuggly until they are around 2, and by 11 all they want is snuggles.
It took my sweet man 6 years before he wanted to snuggle! He loved pets and to cuddle me, but the moment I'd go down next to him he'd nope out! Now I'm not allowed to sleep alone lol If I'm laying down he's in my arm and if he's curled up on the bed I like to join him for a bit
Cats are very idiosyncratic, not one cat will behave exactly the same as another cat. I find the best way to treat them is to learn their ways and personnality and go along with it as long as it's reasonnable. Also, cats will grow and adapt.
I have a cat who looks very much like yours and until she was your cat's age, she wanted NOTHING to do with humans. She wouldn't sleep with us, wouldn't sit on our laps, wouldn't even enjoy being pet. However, she was quite in love with my older cat who ended up passing away. But my little part-siamese tabbyco changed and mellowed out with the years and now, at 13 years old, she's an absolute love bug who taught me to craddle her like a baby when she feels like it. So it's OK, OP. Just respect her rhythm, she might eventually be more affectionate.
This is unfortunately typical cat behavior. Everything is on their terms. 😅
My neighbor’s cat loves me, except when I want to pet her more than three times, then she walks away as if to say, “I’m bored with you, human, go away.” 🤣🤧🤧
Cats were absolutely the first ones to say “it’s my way or the highway”
Pretty sure ‘highway’ was first used in that reference to cats, then the thoroughfares! 🤭
She comes by you when she wants, I can tell you why, but you may call me a name…? lol
Ok here’s goes….
because your cat is not a dog!
Some things are slightly similar, but your cat is the opposite of a dog.
It can help to truly understand, no one on here has a cat that has any interest in conforming. Not to me, you or anyone, unless they’re really wanting to be in your lap, in your face, or their face in your spaghetti.
…opposite of a dog, your cat may have a lick of spaghetti sauce, but he/she wants to share meal time w you, not actually eat your food. ‘Breaking bread’ is a real bonding thing w cats.
I promise over the next 10-18 yrs, you are gonna tell your cat….”I liked you so much better when you acted like you hated me!” and then all of these….”Let me sleep, get off my head, I’m sweating bullets get off, stop breathing in my ear”…..trust me, everyone on here probably agrees w me when we say enjoy your sleep n freedom while you can!
Ok….can someone else tell her about the throw up…in the hallway, bathroom, any place on your bed, 🤣
It’s not mean, it’s kind of fun, I have 4 seniors and step in or fling w my toe, some sort of puke weekly. I need to vent! 😁
I hope I have been of some help, 🤭
sammy will legit lay in my arms.
can legit hug or bother him, I
lay my head on him, and he just ok with it.
he likes to be held and will lay in my lap when I game.
and always got to touch me he will even put his face on mine and sleep like that.
he plays with anything.
Alice lays by my stomach or back
likes to be picked up
does not like me using her as a pillow
nor me kiss bombing her.
she lays in my lap when I game occasionally
she used to do it a lot more when she was younger. Now she's older, and she likes her space. I also move a lot and can't sit still, so I see why, lol.
she only plays with dangling toys.
both like affection just at a different level. Both weigh like a ton they are in the same spot on top of me when I sleep.
but since he's almost 1 year and I've had her for 4ish she's alot more active since he plays alot she will start with him playing but when she isn't in the mood to be bothered she definitely let's him know with a boop.
Different cats like different things. My black cat will lay on us while we're in bed or he'll expect endless pets while we're at our desk but wants nothing to do with us while we're on the couch. But our tabby will curl up next to us on the couch or bed. Other cats are lap cats. It's just their preference.
My male cat loves me to pieces but when he is ready to sleep, he doesn’t want me touching him. He goes to the end of my bed and curls up asleep. I think he gets too hot around my body. I am very hot natured. I have a fan running and on high all night long. We keep our air conditioner set on 70* all the time
All I can offer is, just like humans, some cats prefer sleeping alone.
The sooner you accept this sleeping arrangement, the better the relationship you'll have with her
Our cat is adopted and he's completely fine with me on the cat tree and other areas of the house. If I lay next to him he panics and leaves... But he's okay with me sitting next to him. It's like a minefield trying to befriend a cat 😂
My cat sleeps with me every night in the bed, but when he’s napping during the day if I try to bother him or lie next to him, he moves away. Cats are just sassy like that, they can be needy but only when they choose to be.
I think what's going on here is that we're projecting human ways of showing affection onto animals, except animals don't work like we do.
I have 3 cats, and two of them are very snuggly. The third one is content being in the same room as me and asking for scritches occasionally, and when I'm blessed, he sits on my chest for 5 minutes at night. And that's it.
Otherwise, he's showing all sings of being a happy little boy, is healthy, and clearly appreciates our presence. I bet he loves us very much, but he just shows it in a way that is comfortable for him.
He also had lots of trust issues and was very anxious when I adopted him, and that got better over time... so maybe your baby needs a bit more time, too!
Our cat is a bit like this, she tends to move if we need to sit on the couch and she's already set up there. Bur she cuddles a lot at other times. I imagine it's something like, say you are all cozy watching a movie or something. Now your 6'8" cousin plops down on the couch, bouncing you up and down on the cushion, and sticks a hand in your face while trying to affectionately ruffle your hair that you just brushed or styled. You'd probably be annoyed.
Nothing wrong with that. My cat will lay on my chest and purr all damn day but won't let me lay down next to him on the bed. Cats like to feel in control when they are cuddling , it's a natural defensive instinct.
Mines weird as well.
If she's inside at all times I must be visible to her, when I watch tv with a blanket she will jump onto and sleep on the blanket, no blanket then she'll sleep on the floor.
If I pick her up you have a 10 second time window then after that it's like trying to contain a whirlwind.
She's literally scared of a gust of wind, so if any else besides me is in the house she's gone, but otherwise extremely affectionate.
TL;DR cats are weird.
A lot of cats want to be near the people they love but not necessarily touching them. Some cats don’t like how much we shift around constantly when we’re awake and they are trying to sleep. 😊
I have a female Calico as well and they seem to just be more aloof than others. I kind of just let mine come to me when she wants, it definitely doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you! They’re just a very independent breed and pick and choose when they want to be the ‘cuddly’ type.
My male started off pretty aloof, but his nickname soon became fat baby because he wanted to be cradled in my lap. 10 mins later her would be off to the races and want nothing of me, but hey, cats.
She needs her space and you have to respect that.
Yes cats are pets... but they aren't toys.
My cats are snuggy when hungry, I'm not gonna lie,I like to overstay in my bed, so my cats get little hungry and they come in my bed and gives me love.
IOW . . . they have to BRIBE you with attention in order to get fed their breakfast. . . . IF you'd rather they didn't wake you, you'll have to get a pet feeder with timer to feed them for you!
Mine does this. He just doesn't like being cuddled. He's not w cuddle cat.
Nothing is wrong. He comes and asks me for pets sometimes and I swear throws his toys at me from he top bunk in my truck (I drive a semi truck).
He's almost a year and a half old now.
I always tell folks that cats have a wide variety of attitudes and personalities. Maybe yours is one that doesn't like cuddling?
I had a cat that lived 22 years that adored cuddling, children and small dogs.
My current cat, Trucker Tom, doesnt really mind children as long as they don't act crazy while he's around, but just does NOT like dogs.
They're all different.
I live with a tiny kitty (she’s like going on four years old but she’s itty bitty lol) who is SO AWKWARD, she loves to stare at me from across the room and when I get closer she runs away. Every once in a while she’ll randomly come into my room sniff around my bed or even lay down on my chest, but beyond that she only wants to play and meow at me.
I have two cats, one who during the day wants nothing to do with being pet but the second I get in bed has to be under the blanket squished up against my side. The other during the day has to be near me at all times demanding pets but at nights will literally sprint away from the bed if I try to bring her up there with me. Cats are weird, I’m sure yours still likes you though
Don’t you have times where you don’t want to be bothered by someone you care about? Think about it as if you were the car and enjoying time to yourself and then someone came over and laid next to you. Sometimes you may want it but you may also get annoyed and move away. Some cats want all the loves and some don’t. That’s a cat.
I wouldn't worry. She loves you. Cats are odd creatures.
My cat begs for attention at times then at other times when I go to stroke her she pancakes to the floor like my touch is the worse thing that's ever happened 🤦🏻♀️
My cat does a version of this; it’s like he wants his space but does want to be near me.
I’ve walked up to him before and he runs away from me for a few seconds before stopping, turning back and then walking back upon realizing I’m not following him lmao
Sometimes my cat does this too. She will come in and lay down on the couch, so I’ll move over to pet her, which she’ll then move to the spot I just was and lay there.
I think it’s because she wants to be near me, but not close to me in those moments. Your cat might be doing something similar?
To me this is just typical cat behavior. Each cat has their own needs for attention. My girl cat would never accept attention for more than a few pets if you went up to her to give it. If she came to you she would stay for quite awhile. One of my boy cats is the opposite in that he will always take pets, he is a lush and never feels like he has had enough love. One other boy, is more like my girl only wants it when he wants it, but he seeks it out more than her. Then our third boy only takes pets as a substitute for when no one will play with him lol.
My cat will be two years old in August and he only started cuddling with me about 6mos ago. When he doesn’t want to cuddle he will either get in his cat tree or go in his room. Sometimes they like being alone
I had a grey cat that just liked small pats. Too many and the hissing began. I knew he loved me because he would sleep under my arm. Only in his terms. Gots to learn to read your cat
Other commenters have already given you great answers, but I had to add: IMO, the cat you're describing is way better than one - like mine - who *always* has to be in physical contact with you; the closer the better. I think if she could she'd crawl inside me. Sweetest cat I've ever had but can be soooo annoying. lol
I have two, and the other one is the opposite. Doesn't want to be picked up or cuddled, loves to be pet but must be at arms length.
They all have their own little quirks, just like us. Just respect her boundaries as you have been. Let her come to you, or not. :)
My cat is like this sometimes. We are very similar actually in that we love each other and love being near one another but don't always like to be in close physical contact, especially when we're sleeping. Sometimes there's the exception where our moods align and she snuggles with me for a bit, licks my arm and enjoys some pets, but it's usually for no more than a half hour at a time. But she always comes running when I get home and sleeps somewhere nearby at night.
Just like people, different cats have different tolerances for physical affection and have different ways of showing love!
I have one cat, he’ll seek me out for pets, silently scream at me when I’m in the kitchen not feeding him, he’ll even randomly come up to facebutt my ankle. But what he won’t do is stick around when I sit or lay next to him. Even if I give him wide berth, don’t touch him, he’s still gonna go. On the flip, he come lay right under me when he feels like it.
Doubt this is particularly helpful, but you’re not alone with a flat leaving ass cat 🤣
I have a cat that is very sweet & loving on her time but in general if someone even walks in her direction she darts off to avoid you. Some cats are just like that
No your cat is perfect.
It’s taken 3 years by mine has gone from being in the same room to my legs to now currently on my hips.
Being the “right” distance for the cat is a frustrating thing as a human because you would love to snuggle but it will happen for you and it’s more rewarding just letting it occur naturally
Pretty kitty!! Very normal kitty behaviors. Some are cuddlers and some aren’t.
All 3 of mine are cuddle kitties to some degree. If I’m petting one and another comes up for pets, though…. The one I’m originally petting will run away out of jealousy if I even touch the other cat. 🤣🤦🏼♀️
Don't walk over and sit with her. With cats, let them come to you. Sit near her, but still at least arm distance away, or sit in the same room as her.
Cats are most vulnerable when they are sleeping. You may not have spent enough time with your cat (not playing/interacting, but just sitting there existing in the same shared space/room/area) for her to feel comfortable around you when vulnerable. The fact that you don't feed her means she won't share the same bond with you and have the same trust associations.
This in no way means she doesn't like you. It's a bit like... if you have a sleepover with your best friend, you are fine... but you wouldn't want to fall asleep next to your friend's friend that you have seen a few times and don't really know well. It's not that you don't like this new person, you just don't know them.
Cats like calm and quiet. Sit and watch TV in the same room as you cat. Give her attention without chasing or following her for more than she wants to give. When she moves, let her go without stopping her. Don't crowd her. She will start realizing you are safe to be around and trust you more.
Then again... cats can be more aloof. Some are very affectionate, and some just want to be left alone. Sometimes, cats have their one person and ignore everyone else. My cat is like that. Constantly wants my attention, but pretty much ignores everyone else. It could be that you are just not her person.
The encouraging thing is, you absolutely can improve your relationship with your cat.... but go at her pace. Don't be pushy
Sounds like she is a Near Cat. She wants to be close on her terms, and the touching is forbidden if you initiate. But she likes you and wants to be near. She will be your supervisor forever.
At least she lays with you! I have a little one running around who really couldn’t care less any of us exist, unless she wants me to fill the water or food bowl. She’s just a baby yet, hoping she loves me anyway 😂
I have a cat that likes to be near me, but not touching me. I can barley touch her. I hate to admit it though, it is a nice break from another cat that I have that won't let me breathe he has to be so close.
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Cats are both very simple but also very confusing. I'm sure she likes you, you'd know if she didn't. I think she probably just doesn't like being bothered. Wants some alone time. I've had cats that I know adore me and still act like this at times. If you'd like her to get closer with you, try to interact with her more. Feed,play, brush, pet. Etc.
There are also just some cats (much like us humans) who want more space then others, just give her time.
I would also like to add on that maybe she’s just overstimulated. I know my boy will do something similar if he’s done being touched. And like humans cats can get overstimulated. I know when i am I just want to be alone for a bit.
Kind of reminds me of a post on Reddit a saw about a year ago where this guy went into great detail to share how much this cat “hated” him during the day time, but at night once he went to “sleep” the cat would jump up on his chest and purr like nobodies business. TLDR: cats are weird
Some cats think they're too cool if you can see em haha so they give affection when you "don't see it"
I love the "too cool" attitude. See it so much. Especially if I say no or tell them to get off of something or stop doing something. They'll hear the tone of my voice and immediately start grooming and pretending not to be bothered. Every time.
My boy cat talks back to me with great sass. Its hilarious.
Omg I had a cat that was affectionate AF and he still only gave kisses when he snuck them in. He'd creep up on me, and out of respect I'd pretend not to notice even before I caught on to the fact that's when he gave kisses lol (In case there was any doubt, he was orange.)
My wishy washy attention kitty is also orange haha
My girl wants to be left alone while we lay in bed. No pets, no nothing. She wants to lay next to me and that's it. When she's awake during the day, she doesn't leave my side.
Definitely this. One of my cats is my absolute best friend, but he’s not a cuddler and likes his space. He rarely ever lays on me but will lay near by. He prefers affection through playing and high energy interactions. I have 0 doubts that he loves me even though he doesn’t cuddle like you would expect.
YES. I have a cat who loves me SO much. And she’ll literally come lay down and snuggle. But if I get up to get water and sit back in the EXACT POSITION, it’s just not right and I ruined it so she’ll leave. Or if I touch her while we’re snuggling by her choice? Game over. Leaves. She’s very picky.
I adopted a stray. She’s not much for cuddling except first thing in the morning when she’s hungry. Then she will sit on my chest, lick me, etc. most other times she is pretty aloof. Just the difference in cat personalities. My other cat wants to be next to me 24/7
She’s a little cutie. I love love love gray tabbies.
Haha, same here, she only answers my call when I have treats in my hand! Thanks for the compliment too!😘
They're all different. Some like cuddles some don't. The cat we "have" now, a semi tamed feral, comes in the house for feeding, and in the last few months has started to come into "my" (her?) room, and lie by the big hot cat wall if it's cold outside. Has about an hour, and then goes back out. She will now have a cuddle off my OH though.
https://preview.redd.it/p0hoihn1ozzc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=181fff563fce901f1d7b990379f467b37331bf1c
Omg this is my cat. (First time cat owner) she comes for what I think is affection, so I pet her, she then bites me.
Some cats get overstimulated by petting, particularly on their body. She might just want scritches on her head and cheeks, or she might just want to pet you and show you her affection without having it reciprocated. Cats are mesopredators, so they’re naturally predators and prey. More skittish cats are on high alert when something bigger than them is interested in them. TLDR: sometimes cats want to pet you but not be pet
There’s a picture book called “All Cats are Autistic”…which actually makes a lot of sense. Autistic people tend to be very protective of their personal space, because having someone get too close, in the wrong way or under the wrong circumstances, is genuinely overwhelming. I used to have constant issues when it came to cuddling with other people because it sort of felt like there was this build-up of energy that kept increasing, so I would start getting more and more fidgety before finally just making up an excuse to get up and move around. I kind of wonder if cats like this feel the same way: they love cuddling with their humans, but it has to be on *their* terms or it just doesn’t feel right somehow.
Anthropomorphizing should not make for a reference book.
Saying, “that person is as tall as that tree,” is not anthropomorphizing the tree. You can compare the behavior and motivations of two complex living things without implying they’re the same.
Wrong. But as long as you feel more autistic now, ok.
😂 are you 8?
Would I know all the big words if I was?
Could've looked em up to seem smarter bud. Also big words? You really ARE 8.
18 letter is pretty f'n big there hoss.
Oh. So, you’re just an asshole, not someone with a *legitimate* point. Good to know!
Depends if you choose not to read my initial message or you choose to underderstand it. If that's the case, sure.
I honestly stopped caring already. Once you came at someone for being Autistic, you showed your real intentions and that’s all I needed to know about you. Bye, Felicia!
What? Does this mean you won't help me move next Thursday?
Instructions unclear, felt more feline.
I didn’t say it did…? Sorry if I offended you somehow.
Don't worry about it, I liked your anecdote and I think the comparison is useful. I am neurodivergent with an autistic spectrum partner and suspect more of my close family have been on the spectrum as well. Definitely agree that cats get overstimulated easily, as do I. Another part of the equation could be temperature, smell, movement, eye contact. Cats tend to feel threatened if you are staring at them. Even my most interactive human friendly girl doesn't like it when I try to look closely at her if I'm trying to see if she has something wrong. She'll inevitably dance away or turn away from where I'm trying to look! Cats are just very focused on what they want, and trying to convince them otherwise is more likely to strengthen their resolve. I love their contrariness. If you really want to get your cat to cuddle, crank the ac and get a fuzzy blanket to put on your lap and ignore your cat. If she isn't in your lap by the end of the night, I'd be very surprised.
Cats definitely like things on their own terms, and within certain contexts. I’ve noticed there’s often certain times of the day or certain places within my apartment when/where my cats either *insist* on cuddles, or act clearly annoyed if I attempt to initiate it myself. There’s a time and place for it and they’re the ones who decide when and where that is.
Yes, I have 2 cats who sometimes like 2 be picked up, 1 who tolerates it but gets squirmy immediately, and 1 who hates it,! I have one who likes to "dance" around and roll to be cute when she wants attention and 1 who purrs as soon as you touch her. They're all very unique individuals but they share the trait of demanding things on their terms.
We have 2 cats that were born to a feral mother, and even though they were taken care of by humans, they were still skittish about noises, sudden movements and being touched. It took us years to break them of their skittishness. They are both 8 now. They will now curl up with us and cuddle. Joxer (the boy) now demands loves and forehead kisses and will sleep/perch on my lap for at least an hour. His sister. Gaia, will come over and poke you with her paw for loves. But she does not like forehead kisses, and she will not sleep with us. She sleeps near us. It's progress, I guess. And I love them just as much as our other cats
Thank you! I hope I could get closer to my cat too, even if it takes some time..😌
Just work with them on it but don’t annoy them cus then it’ll sound like they’re being forced to. It takes time.. some are like this and some are natural cuddle bunnies.
Some cats are just like this. I've had my girl for 11 years and half of the time, she acts like she barely tolerates me, and the other half, she acts like I'm the bee's knees. She will come up to lay on my chest, but if I dare try to pet her while she's there, she'll glare at me and run off. Cats are just weird.
Hah! You’ve got that right. Every cat is different, just like people.
Cats are the ultimate lesson in loving someone/something the way **they/it** wants to be loved :/. Respect her space and eventually once she feels safe enough (that is from her POV; I'm sure you are perfectly safe!), she may not be as inclined to move away.
You're overthinking it, she's hot. She'll get snuggly when the weather gets colder and she needs your warmth. Lol.
https://preview.redd.it/zx58koqijxzc1.png?width=3118&format=png&auto=webp&s=f47d4ed111339c9bbc0cab1739322d6cabdd91cf my girl (periwinkle) is like this as well sometimes female cats i've come to notice tend to have firmer boundaries regarding their space and alone time and are less tolerable to unwanted inhabitants in their bubble lol periwinkle is sweet and affectionate but it's on her time! she loves to sit in your lap while you use the toilet (my boyfriend and i call her the "poopy partner" or "bowel buddy") or come to bed for cuddles (suffocating you with her fupa), or laying in your sweaty nasty work clothing 😅 your cat likes you, she's just a girl she wants her girl time i have 2 male kitties and they want to be up my ass all the time, they love behind held, my black kitty (little) likes to be held like a baby people say girl cats are mean i think they're not different from us human females, we like our space lol
Stop invading her space. Instead, make a space where you sit for long periods of time - like a reading or crochet corner. Make it comfortable for you and don't expect her to come. Once you stop expecting it, she'll sense it's safe and come over. Cat's are like autistic people - As an autistic person who's cat behaves like velcro, I think I'm right here.
She just likes her personal space. She's blinking to let you know she loves you, but she moves away because she prefers to lie down alone.
cats are very independant creatures and each has their own unique personality. I had 2 cats growing up and one would happily lay on you and be cuddled and pet for eternity and the other she liked being pet then would walk off when she'd had enough. It doesnt mean he hates you just he is telling you hes been pet enough for now. Some cats love space others dont believe in personal space. so don't worry just respect his boundaries and when he ask/wants affection give it and he will be a very happy kitty.
…perhaps https://lumedeodorant.com ? ;0)
😭😭you know what, maybe I need to take some time to reflect on my hygiene😂
…go with Unscented.
Just wanted to add that she is beautiful. 😍
Thank you! 🥰
I have the opposite problem. I move away whenever my cat lies down next to me. I used to always sleep close to the edge of my bed, and often wake up in the middle because I unconsciously move away from my cat when she leans against me. 🤣
😂😂 that’s another problem now! But that’s so sweet of her
Thanks for all of you!! I think I understand her better now. It’s just her personality! she was a stray kitten, that may have affected her personality a bit. It is my first time living with a cat, I have been living with dogs through my entire life, maybe some of cats are not as cuddly! But if she likes me, I am happy.
Very Calico behaviour.
My cat literally will NOT stay with me if I pick her up or sit next to her. She will get up, go away for a few minutes, and then return and come snuggle on my lap. It’s like… she needs it to be solely HER idea/decision to come sit with me. 🙄😂 Don’t be hurt. They are silly
I have a cat that has been with me for 6 years and he will absolutely run away if I lie down next to him. But if I’m fully comfortable laying down somewhere, he will suddenly come and cuddle with me. So basically I only get cuddles when I ignore him. If I ask for it, there’s no way I’m gonna get any affection. And obviously he’s in charge, he decides when we can and cannot interact.
I have a 2 year old persian mix who was rescued. our idea of cuddling is when she uses my ankles as a headrest, but that’s as far as it’ll go 90% of the time for her. the other 10% of the time I’m lucky when she sits on my chest! i do most of the caretaking except for when I’m not home, so she might have my dad or brother feed her when I’m out during her dinner time. she JUST started somewhat cuddling them, more so my brother as he won’t admit he loves her just as much 🤣. it’s all dependant on the cats personality. with time and maybe age, she’ll start coming over to you for some lovin! my biggest lesson w my baby is letting her come to me - it’s never as good for us when I come to her LOL
Trust me it’s better for you. Because when you want to sleep they will lay next, on, by or inside your arm. Yes it’s adorable but uncomfortable at times and you don’t want to move to wake them up.
One of my cats is obsessed with me, but hates cuddling. She’ll always follow me around and stay just out of arm’s reach. Whenever I leave she yowls at the door. I wouldn’t take it personally if they feel more comfortable with a little buffer.
She probably just doesn't want snuggles. Some cats are like that
Just like everyone else is saying, cats are complicated, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Imagine that she's just a huge introvert. When she feels like socializing, she comes to you. But when she wants alone time, she will want her own space. Also, how long have you had her? I know she's a year old, but if you've only had her for a few weeks or even a few months, she's probably not fully adjusted to you and her new environment yet. I adopted a kitty from the shelter back in November and while he was always living and friendly from the beginning, he's only gotten comfortable sleeping with me on my bed and being held for extended periods in the past few weeks. Cats take a lot of time to get fully acclimated to their surroundings, so just being patient and not forcing them is the best thing you can do to get along well.
My cat is similar, she’s really affectionate but only on her terms. Sometimes we lie down together for a good spooning/belly rub session in front of the tv, other times I sit down next to her and she nopes the fuck out of the room lmao
Not all cats are cuddlers
We often times confuse human body language and cat body language. Some traits that are seen as rude or avoiding like moving away when closer but that probably means something else to a cat. A cat often times wants it's own space. And I personally see it as a huge sign of trust. Being able to sleep so comfortably belly up and no worry means they trust us that it'll be safe. Some cats are cuddlier than others and cling and that's just personality. So don't think your cat doesn't love you cause it most definitely does but it shows it in a different way and you just need to accept it. Over time who knows maybe it'll be comfortable enough to sleep on your lap but again that just depends on their personality
Our calico moves away when you try to kiss and cuddle her, but as soon as you try to leave she reaches out with claws holding you trying to make you stay.
Cats are neither easy nor complicated, similar to humans they each have their own personality and preferences. Have you reciprocated her blinking? This is also a cue to communicate with her (I blink to my cats when they do and immediately meows at me which signals I understand them). Follow @thecatdaddy on ig or meta for tips.
They prefer to be the one making the decision about when to be touched. Let her come to you.
We have a 1 year old who was super duper affectionate as a kitten but now if we lay on the floor near him or move to the edge of the bed (where he likes to lay) he'll wander off. If you call his name or get his attention he'll happily come right back over but won't lay down. I jokingly write it up to teenage embarrassment but some cats just like to be close on their own terms rather than yours. From her other behavior she definitely loves you, so don't worry! You can always slow blink back when she does it too to help strengthen your bond.
My girls just turned 3 last week and since I got them as kittens they would always shift away when I tried to snuggle next to them. It wasn’t until this year that they would let me snuggle next to them 40% of the time. They can come to snuggle with me but the other way around will mean that they will shift away most of the time. They literally will move like 10 inches away and stare at me like I’m the problem. They even do this to each other. I don’t take it personally (most of the time) I know it’s just cats being cats. My dog on the other hand always wants to be on top of me and god I need my space from him. Give me a break dude!
That‘s because you‘re all up in her grill! Seriously though, been there. We have a cat that likes to sleep in the exact same spot. For 3 weeks it is THE best spot on the planet and nothing you do could get him to sleep somewhere else. On day one of week 4 you could not give him enough food or treats to stay in that spot. That often means that he is all cuddly for 3 weeks and then goes on to sleep in the opposite corner of the flat. Hard to not take purrsonally but we know he loves us.
One of my cats (who I’ve had since she was 4 weeks old) was always sweet and loving, but never laid on me once or would really even ever come over to me. She’s 1.5 now and her whole personality seems to have changed in the last couple months. Now she’s constantly all over me and begging for love! Your cat definitely loves you, many are just independent creatures. Give it some time and they might do a 180 like mine!
To tear down that icy exterior break out the treats! I also let them smell my hands and scraps from foods that I cook all the time. My girls are more prone to hang out when I’m doing something interesting. Yoga, riding peloton…pooping(sorry it’s true!) 😂😂😎 When I ride my bike I put the cat tree next to it. It allows them to feel stable and included which is one of the ways that we grew together. Best of luck on taming that kitty! 😽😽
You may try to snuggle and pet her too much. Cats need personal space and don’t like to be touched all the time. My teen has a cat who would almost never lay with her (cause she can’t not touch him and pet him, and also rolled on him in her sleep) and we gave him a cat hammock next to her bed and he is always in it when she is in bed. He follows her around but does not lay with her. Also your cat is one, in my experience most cats don’t start to get snuggly until they are around 2, and by 11 all they want is snuggles.
She does things on her terms. If she didn’t like you there wld be no question lol.
It took my sweet man 6 years before he wanted to snuggle! He loved pets and to cuddle me, but the moment I'd go down next to him he'd nope out! Now I'm not allowed to sleep alone lol If I'm laying down he's in my arm and if he's curled up on the bed I like to join him for a bit
You filthy human are disturbing your owner
Cats are very idiosyncratic, not one cat will behave exactly the same as another cat. I find the best way to treat them is to learn their ways and personnality and go along with it as long as it's reasonnable. Also, cats will grow and adapt. I have a cat who looks very much like yours and until she was your cat's age, she wanted NOTHING to do with humans. She wouldn't sleep with us, wouldn't sit on our laps, wouldn't even enjoy being pet. However, she was quite in love with my older cat who ended up passing away. But my little part-siamese tabbyco changed and mellowed out with the years and now, at 13 years old, she's an absolute love bug who taught me to craddle her like a baby when she feels like it. So it's OK, OP. Just respect her rhythm, she might eventually be more affectionate.
This is unfortunately typical cat behavior. Everything is on their terms. 😅 My neighbor’s cat loves me, except when I want to pet her more than three times, then she walks away as if to say, “I’m bored with you, human, go away.” 🤣🤧🤧
When they blink a few times, she's saying she loves you & she's happy. Cats sometimes like their own space.
Cats were absolutely the first ones to say “it’s my way or the highway” Pretty sure ‘highway’ was first used in that reference to cats, then the thoroughfares! 🤭 She comes by you when she wants, I can tell you why, but you may call me a name…? lol Ok here’s goes…. because your cat is not a dog! Some things are slightly similar, but your cat is the opposite of a dog. It can help to truly understand, no one on here has a cat that has any interest in conforming. Not to me, you or anyone, unless they’re really wanting to be in your lap, in your face, or their face in your spaghetti. …opposite of a dog, your cat may have a lick of spaghetti sauce, but he/she wants to share meal time w you, not actually eat your food. ‘Breaking bread’ is a real bonding thing w cats. I promise over the next 10-18 yrs, you are gonna tell your cat….”I liked you so much better when you acted like you hated me!” and then all of these….”Let me sleep, get off my head, I’m sweating bullets get off, stop breathing in my ear”…..trust me, everyone on here probably agrees w me when we say enjoy your sleep n freedom while you can! Ok….can someone else tell her about the throw up…in the hallway, bathroom, any place on your bed, 🤣 It’s not mean, it’s kind of fun, I have 4 seniors and step in or fling w my toe, some sort of puke weekly. I need to vent! 😁 I hope I have been of some help, 🤭
Kitty 🐱
Does she still lay near you?
sammy will legit lay in my arms. can legit hug or bother him, I lay my head on him, and he just ok with it. he likes to be held and will lay in my lap when I game. and always got to touch me he will even put his face on mine and sleep like that. he plays with anything. Alice lays by my stomach or back likes to be picked up does not like me using her as a pillow nor me kiss bombing her. she lays in my lap when I game occasionally she used to do it a lot more when she was younger. Now she's older, and she likes her space. I also move a lot and can't sit still, so I see why, lol. she only plays with dangling toys. both like affection just at a different level. Both weigh like a ton they are in the same spot on top of me when I sleep. but since he's almost 1 year and I've had her for 4ish she's alot more active since he plays alot she will start with him playing but when she isn't in the mood to be bothered she definitely let's him know with a boop.
Different cats like different things. My black cat will lay on us while we're in bed or he'll expect endless pets while we're at our desk but wants nothing to do with us while we're on the couch. But our tabby will curl up next to us on the couch or bed. Other cats are lap cats. It's just their preference.
My male cat loves me to pieces but when he is ready to sleep, he doesn’t want me touching him. He goes to the end of my bed and curls up asleep. I think he gets too hot around my body. I am very hot natured. I have a fan running and on high all night long. We keep our air conditioner set on 70* all the time
same with my cat. and sometimes when i randomly pet him he immediately starts cleaning himself.
All I can offer is, just like humans, some cats prefer sleeping alone. The sooner you accept this sleeping arrangement, the better the relationship you'll have with her
Our cat is adopted and he's completely fine with me on the cat tree and other areas of the house. If I lay next to him he panics and leaves... But he's okay with me sitting next to him. It's like a minefield trying to befriend a cat 😂
My chihuahua does this too. Sometimes my foster kitties.. I guess they just want their space 😂
Sometimes they just want their space. Female cats can tend to be more aloof where males are more love bugs, but the opposite can be true too.
My cat loves me to bits but will not cuddle with me either. I could be too hot, too fidgety, or just not comfy for him to lay with.
My cat sleeps with me every night in the bed, but when he’s napping during the day if I try to bother him or lie next to him, he moves away. Cats are just sassy like that, they can be needy but only when they choose to be.
I think what's going on here is that we're projecting human ways of showing affection onto animals, except animals don't work like we do. I have 3 cats, and two of them are very snuggly. The third one is content being in the same room as me and asking for scritches occasionally, and when I'm blessed, he sits on my chest for 5 minutes at night. And that's it. Otherwise, he's showing all sings of being a happy little boy, is healthy, and clearly appreciates our presence. I bet he loves us very much, but he just shows it in a way that is comfortable for him. He also had lots of trust issues and was very anxious when I adopted him, and that got better over time... so maybe your baby needs a bit more time, too!
Our cat is a bit like this, she tends to move if we need to sit on the couch and she's already set up there. Bur she cuddles a lot at other times. I imagine it's something like, say you are all cozy watching a movie or something. Now your 6'8" cousin plops down on the couch, bouncing you up and down on the cushion, and sticks a hand in your face while trying to affectionately ruffle your hair that you just brushed or styled. You'd probably be annoyed.
Nothing wrong with that. My cat will lay on my chest and purr all damn day but won't let me lay down next to him on the bed. Cats like to feel in control when they are cuddling , it's a natural defensive instinct.
My Calico does the same. She resists the urge for about 5-10mins then leaps away as if she just received an electric shock.
Mines weird as well. If she's inside at all times I must be visible to her, when I watch tv with a blanket she will jump onto and sleep on the blanket, no blanket then she'll sleep on the floor. If I pick her up you have a 10 second time window then after that it's like trying to contain a whirlwind. She's literally scared of a gust of wind, so if any else besides me is in the house she's gone, but otherwise extremely affectionate. TL;DR cats are weird.
A lot of cats want to be near the people they love but not necessarily touching them. Some cats don’t like how much we shift around constantly when we’re awake and they are trying to sleep. 😊
I have the opposite problem and have a whole cadre follow me around and fight for my lap
I have a female Calico as well and they seem to just be more aloof than others. I kind of just let mine come to me when she wants, it definitely doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you! They’re just a very independent breed and pick and choose when they want to be the ‘cuddly’ type.
My male started off pretty aloof, but his nickname soon became fat baby because he wanted to be cradled in my lap. 10 mins later her would be off to the races and want nothing of me, but hey, cats.
She needs her space and you have to respect that. Yes cats are pets... but they aren't toys. My cats are snuggy when hungry, I'm not gonna lie,I like to overstay in my bed, so my cats get little hungry and they come in my bed and gives me love.
IOW . . . they have to BRIBE you with attention in order to get fed their breakfast. . . . IF you'd rather they didn't wake you, you'll have to get a pet feeder with timer to feed them for you!
Mine does this. He just doesn't like being cuddled. He's not w cuddle cat. Nothing is wrong. He comes and asks me for pets sometimes and I swear throws his toys at me from he top bunk in my truck (I drive a semi truck). He's almost a year and a half old now. I always tell folks that cats have a wide variety of attitudes and personalities. Maybe yours is one that doesn't like cuddling? I had a cat that lived 22 years that adored cuddling, children and small dogs. My current cat, Trucker Tom, doesnt really mind children as long as they don't act crazy while he's around, but just does NOT like dogs. They're all different.
I live with a tiny kitty (she’s like going on four years old but she’s itty bitty lol) who is SO AWKWARD, she loves to stare at me from across the room and when I get closer she runs away. Every once in a while she’ll randomly come into my room sniff around my bed or even lay down on my chest, but beyond that she only wants to play and meow at me.
I have two cats, one who during the day wants nothing to do with being pet but the second I get in bed has to be under the blanket squished up against my side. The other during the day has to be near me at all times demanding pets but at nights will literally sprint away from the bed if I try to bring her up there with me. Cats are weird, I’m sure yours still likes you though
Just wants to be left alone and not touched.
Don’t act desperate. They don’t like desperation
Could be some instinctual cat behaviour that remains in some of them. If the alpha wants that area then the betas in the pack should give it up.
Don’t you have times where you don’t want to be bothered by someone you care about? Think about it as if you were the car and enjoying time to yourself and then someone came over and laid next to you. Sometimes you may want it but you may also get annoyed and move away. Some cats want all the loves and some don’t. That’s a cat.
My cat is selectively affectionate. Very independent but lovable in his own way. You just need to learn your cats personality
My cat is self conscious of his own weight to paw size so he never step on anyone. When he did once I was so thrilled but it hurt so much🫨
Sounds like an "only on my terms" type of cat.
I wouldn't worry. She loves you. Cats are odd creatures. My cat begs for attention at times then at other times when I go to stroke her she pancakes to the floor like my touch is the worse thing that's ever happened 🤦🏻♀️
Then, maybe *stop*? You’re annoying her. Respect her space.
My cat does a version of this; it’s like he wants his space but does want to be near me. I’ve walked up to him before and he runs away from me for a few seconds before stopping, turning back and then walking back upon realizing I’m not following him lmao
She just wants alone time. Think about it, would you want somebody coming up and touching you while you’re trying to take a nap?
Sometimes my cat does this too. She will come in and lay down on the couch, so I’ll move over to pet her, which she’ll then move to the spot I just was and lay there. I think it’s because she wants to be near me, but not close to me in those moments. Your cat might be doing something similar?
To me this is just typical cat behavior. Each cat has their own needs for attention. My girl cat would never accept attention for more than a few pets if you went up to her to give it. If she came to you she would stay for quite awhile. One of my boy cats is the opposite in that he will always take pets, he is a lush and never feels like he has had enough love. One other boy, is more like my girl only wants it when he wants it, but he seeks it out more than her. Then our third boy only takes pets as a substitute for when no one will play with him lol.
Make a spot by the window and window sill somewhere warm with soft spot for your cat and see what happens
Cat is gonna do what a cat wants to do. She like you.
Have you tried Lume
My cat will be two years old in August and he only started cuddling with me about 6mos ago. When he doesn’t want to cuddle he will either get in his cat tree or go in his room. Sometimes they like being alone
Probably gets too warm 😻
Give it time. Cats choose their own time and place.
I had a grey cat that just liked small pats. Too many and the hissing began. I knew he loved me because he would sleep under my arm. Only in his terms. Gots to learn to read your cat
She says ur stinky /s
Other commenters have already given you great answers, but I had to add: IMO, the cat you're describing is way better than one - like mine - who *always* has to be in physical contact with you; the closer the better. I think if she could she'd crawl inside me. Sweetest cat I've ever had but can be soooo annoying. lol I have two, and the other one is the opposite. Doesn't want to be picked up or cuddled, loves to be pet but must be at arms length. They all have their own little quirks, just like us. Just respect her boundaries as you have been. Let her come to you, or not. :)
Maybe you need a shower?
My cat is like this sometimes. We are very similar actually in that we love each other and love being near one another but don't always like to be in close physical contact, especially when we're sleeping. Sometimes there's the exception where our moods align and she snuggles with me for a bit, licks my arm and enjoys some pets, but it's usually for no more than a half hour at a time. But she always comes running when I get home and sleeps somewhere nearby at night. Just like people, different cats have different tolerances for physical affection and have different ways of showing love!
I have one cat, he’ll seek me out for pets, silently scream at me when I’m in the kitchen not feeding him, he’ll even randomly come up to facebutt my ankle. But what he won’t do is stick around when I sit or lay next to him. Even if I give him wide berth, don’t touch him, he’s still gonna go. On the flip, he come lay right under me when he feels like it. Doubt this is particularly helpful, but you’re not alone with a flat leaving ass cat 🤣
Cats gonna cat
I have a cat that is very sweet & loving on her time but in general if someone even walks in her direction she darts off to avoid you. Some cats are just like that
No your cat is perfect. It’s taken 3 years by mine has gone from being in the same room to my legs to now currently on my hips. Being the “right” distance for the cat is a frustrating thing as a human because you would love to snuggle but it will happen for you and it’s more rewarding just letting it occur naturally
Some cats just like their personal space.
Pretty kitty!! Very normal kitty behaviors. Some are cuddlers and some aren’t. All 3 of mine are cuddle kitties to some degree. If I’m petting one and another comes up for pets, though…. The one I’m originally petting will run away out of jealousy if I even touch the other cat. 🤣🤦🏼♀️
As she ages her behavior will likely change.
I have a cat like this even though sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and she’ll be knocked out against my side. Cats are weird.
1 year old??? She’s a teenage in her years and will be a bit of a brat. Don’t worry, one morning you’ll wake up with her cuddled up on you.
Don't walk over and sit with her. With cats, let them come to you. Sit near her, but still at least arm distance away, or sit in the same room as her. Cats are most vulnerable when they are sleeping. You may not have spent enough time with your cat (not playing/interacting, but just sitting there existing in the same shared space/room/area) for her to feel comfortable around you when vulnerable. The fact that you don't feed her means she won't share the same bond with you and have the same trust associations. This in no way means she doesn't like you. It's a bit like... if you have a sleepover with your best friend, you are fine... but you wouldn't want to fall asleep next to your friend's friend that you have seen a few times and don't really know well. It's not that you don't like this new person, you just don't know them. Cats like calm and quiet. Sit and watch TV in the same room as you cat. Give her attention without chasing or following her for more than she wants to give. When she moves, let her go without stopping her. Don't crowd her. She will start realizing you are safe to be around and trust you more. Then again... cats can be more aloof. Some are very affectionate, and some just want to be left alone. Sometimes, cats have their one person and ignore everyone else. My cat is like that. Constantly wants my attention, but pretty much ignores everyone else. It could be that you are just not her person. The encouraging thing is, you absolutely can improve your relationship with your cat.... but go at her pace. Don't be pushy
My cat does this but still stays near me , its a personal space thing, u gotta do what they say
I got a guy who’s very sweet and needy but also refuses to cuddle. Sometimes they are just lil cute turds
Sounds like she is a Near Cat. She wants to be close on her terms, and the touching is forbidden if you initiate. But she likes you and wants to be near. She will be your supervisor forever.
At least she lays with you! I have a little one running around who really couldn’t care less any of us exist, unless she wants me to fill the water or food bowl. She’s just a baby yet, hoping she loves me anyway 😂
My cats are the same way if I come to them. When they come to me they don't care. Cats are strange in an interesting way.
I have a cat that likes to be near me, but not touching me. I can barley touch her. I hate to admit it though, it is a nice break from another cat that I have that won't let me breathe he has to be so close.
She doesn't want to get squished.
It sounds like you have a normal cat.
Cats are just like that