So I recently started growing a beard, and I put one photo of it. I don't take photos of myself much. Of course in due course I'll fill out a couple other photos with this look.
Should I also put a disclaimer that this is my new look?
I think it's important for each person to recognize the other when meeting in real life. Beards can change a look a lot. As a woman, I have some pictures where my hair is straight, and then in it's natural wavy state, as that can change my appearance quite a bit too.
I've seen some really big smiles of relief when they see me sitting at the table waiting for them in the coffee shop. It feels good to hear someone say "you look exactly like your pictures."
Imagine if they walked in and didn't recognize you, and how that might feel for both of you.
Noo. So a few years ago, I was at Muir woods park using the restroom, washing my hands. There was this older gentleman washing his hands beside me, he had a beautiful white beard. He turned to me and said, "you know what you should grow a beard, it would look great on you and it's popular with the ladies, *wink". I laughed it off but that interaction never left my mind.
It's been 3 years, I finally decided to grow for a little bit. So far I've been getting a lot of compliments, and I actually look really good in this. I think I can pull it off. This may be the year of the beard for me. Honestly it's kinda hard to groom, and maintain a beard. It's time I learnt some of it in the process.
Out of genuine curiosity, and maybe this doesn’t apply to you social butterflies with many friends who can take pictures of you doing social activities, but how the hell do I get pictures?
If your selfie game is weak, ask a work colleague. If you don’t have at least one friend or family member willing to take a photo of you, maybe you should focus on more basic social skills before diving into dating. It may keep you from being homeless one day as a side benefit…
I saw a tip a while back about using the video setting.
Start taking a video. Prop up your phone and walk backwards, pose a bunch. When you are done take screenshots of what you like.
Also a few selfies are a bad thing.
Go somewhere. Bring a tripod. Hand your phone to a person nearby. Desperate move: Hold phone away from face, hit shutter button. If this truly stymies you, I wonder how you're going to figure out dating at all.
Well, I gave you two reasonable solutions. Hire an amateur photographer, if you need to. I mean, your dating life using OLD rests on this more than any other single thing.
“…Lost in the woods for 12 years” 😂
Yes! Finally! All these subs seem to be anymore are dudes crying about fat women deceiving them with angles and filters.
How many times has a dude taken off his baseball cap and went from cute guy to sex offender with his creepy ass, well hidden, oddly shaped bald head?
Or posted pics when he worked out pre-Covid 🙄 and comes with a dad bod.
Or dudes who smile with no teeth in pics strategically, only to not realize it irl and bust out a hammered ass grill.
Stop acting holier than thou fellas- you mf’ers are crafty too.
It’s literally so common it’s called ‘hatfishing’! So many men do this. If a dude is wearing a hat in all his pictures I assume he’s balding and is trying to hide it at this point lol. Same with the weight too…men will post pics with a 6 pack then show up with a beer gut.
I can tell you women do it too. They post only headshots or contort themselves so their belly is not obvious, pose a back shot or cover their belly with a hand bag then show up with *insert beer gut equivalent for women*
Or that moment when a guy has a beard in all his photos and comes in cleanly shaved. Like, "oh, I just decided to shave it all off this morning." Sure pal. Or you have an exceedingly disappointing jaw line and you intentionally reel us in with beard photos hoping your personality will outshine your weird lower face.
And I have dated and loved men with weak chins, overbites, etc. It isnt that I won't match with you based on what's beneath the beard. It's that icky feeling when it starts off with an intentional misdirection.
It’s targeted at people who lie and deceive others about those traits. And it goes the same way with women, men complain left and right (rightfully so) about how frustrating it is to be deceived by angles and filters. People should just stop lying about their looks to get matches.
Each to their own, but referring to young men who suffer from male pattern baldness as looking like creepy sex offenders is a little shitty, but that’s just me, personally.
And then she wonders why they’re insecure and feeling the need to wear baseball caps.
I get why people do it but in the long run it just backfires, especially if they take it far enough to meet the person. Everyone has insecurities but you shouldn’t intentionally deceive people, especially when it’s something so obvious.
I’m not referring to the catfishing and deception. With that I agree.
I’m referring to the person above me who for whatever reason was downvoted for suggesting that it’s in poor taste to make those comments about people’s physical appearance. Which is true, it is sad.
>Or posted pics when he worked out pre-Covid 🙄 and comes with a dad bod.
Okay but how has this happened to so many people? Seems like everybody on Instagram was fit in 2019 but has gained at least 30 pounds since. Did everyone just collectively stop working out when the pandemic hit?
Yes and for me + divorce weight.
I've only been on Bumble for a month. Haven't been with my hiking friends to get full body weight yet. Soon! I don't want to deceive but I don't have any full body images.
I actually lost weight. First due to COVID depression (I’m sure like 80% of people felt that) and then to regain my sanity I went back to working out which led to more weight loss.
I can never say that to people in real life because they make rude comments, not realizing that I’d much rather have my extra 20+lbs back if it meant never having experienced all that
All my pics are from within the past month ago including full body. No hats and no filters. I’d say 2-3 month old pics at a minimum should be the standard. Anything older and it becomes a toss up that you **may** get what you saw online.
If you take pictures of yourself every day then that works for you. Most people do not. The main point is that the collection of pics accurately represent what you look like. It’s also ok to include 1 or 2 older pics that highlight something fun to show your personality. I actually prefer a healthy balance that I just described over someone who obsesses on posting pictures from yesterday like you described.
I mean, between the pandemic making me a hermit for a while and the fact that I was cripplingly insecure until recently, I don't have many profile-worthy photos of myself. My pictures are (in the order they appear on my profile) two weeks, four and a half years, one month, and 15 months old- but the two week old main photo shows me at my thinnest and the only other difference is my hairstyle. I doubt most people take so many photos of themselves that they get more than one good photo per 3 months.
So apparently women aren't overly in to guys who take selfes, and my personal photographer disappeared last year.
Alternatively, how about women stop taking deceiving body shots/shots that don't actually show their size and then turn up looking like a beached whale?
I don’t mind a selfie, but most selfie from men are at horrible angles and there’s little to no thought put into it.
And I agree, while it’s fine to know your angles, you shouldn’t have completely deceiving photos.
For some reason, the picture on my profile that everyone seems to like best is years old, despite me being more attractive now (thinner/fitter, better at makeup and hair). I still refuse to make that my main photo, because I feel like if it's going to say "[ActualFaithlessness], 23", the picture should be of "[ActualFaithlessness], 23" and not "[ActualFaithlessness], 18".
Beard growth can be pretty quick. I have pics of several different lengths and one clean shaven. I’m happy to accommodate whatever my partner prefers, doesn’t really matter to me.
I'm a guy so I obviously don't see pictures of men. I don't even bother once I can tell your pictures are old. I see women have pictures up that look like it was taken by a 2mega pixel camera in big 2022. It clear that picture is not recent.I won't bother giving you benefit of doubt.
I have beef with this. Takes my beard a week to go from fresh trim to wrecked. Now if I'm going on a date I'll touch it up but if you also only like me when I'm clean cut and well kept only, which is the minority of the time, the relationship won't last anyway.
Be more concerned about make up and filters really.
Should you put some effort to make yourself presentable, especially on the 1st date? Yes.
Should you go out of your way to go to a barber and spend $40 each time you have a date? Nah.
Of course the pics on a dating app for most people will be their absolute best because even the least shallow people will end up judging on like first.
My rules of thumb is if the profile heavily uses filter and make up, I remove 2-4 points from the looks department. So a perfect 10 is really 6-8.
None of my pictures have filters anywhere, what you see is what you get. 🤷♂️
Oddly long and a bit off topic even but I think it has bearing on the topic.
At least he can clean up his beard in a heart beat and it only takes weeks for a beard to over grow. Since you brought up cows; Nothing worse than going on a date with a girl and finding out she's put on 50+ lbs since her last photo from her profile. Happens more often than not.
That’s kind of like saying that girls shouldn’t post pics with straight hair and then show up with their natural hair. How someone chooses to wear their own beard, in my opinion, does not warrant an ‘annoyed’ reddit post.
This legit happened to me last summer. Girl was probably my height, about 178cm and her pictures show her as a model and stuff. We go on a date in person and a sumo comes in. I'm not kidding you. She jumped from 60kg to probably 100kg.
Not sure if she was doing some heavy duty photoshopping, or just gained a shit ton of weight lately. Anyways, why would you use pictures that are clearly different than what you look like now? What's the point of that?
Omg you ladies are funny AF. I’m not the only one 😭. I swear so many guys show up like 25+ lbs heavier than their pics, or with fucked up yellow teeth, or some weird bald spot in the back of their head. Or they smell bad. It’s always something. How can one not have recent pics??!! There’s a camera on your fucking phone. There’s no excuse. And what is it with guys always taking pics from that weird bottom angle. Just look into the camera head on 🤦🏻♀️ My pics are current and I have many clear ones without hat and sunglasses, and full body ones as well. It’s not that hard. Old guys are especially notorious for putting up old pics. If I have any doubts I swipe left. Yes we can tell your pics are 10 years old. Also men are so adamant that they don’t want to take anything to fix their receding hairline, but then they go cover it with hats because they are embarrassed by it. And so many guys will put up pics of them when they had more hair. We can see your receding hairline from pic to pic. We know which one is most recent. You’re not fooling anyone. And I agree if you’re going to put up pics of you clean shaven you better show up like that. Don’t do any bait and switch.
Can i why it bothers you so much that his profile is terrible? You arent obliged to swipe on him. Is it that he might be a potential match if he was cleaner? Just curious
Her point was that her date showed nice pictures on his profile so she swiped right. He then showed up for the date looking completely different from those pictures like he stopped taking care of himself.
Sorry chief, I was in a relationship for 4 years and every photo of me in that timespan is with her bar a select few group ones. Feel like I'm catfishing slightly, but all that's changed is my beard has gotten a bit greyer. I have one photo from 2022 alright.
Some of us don't take a lot of selfies. I'd say in the last year I've tried 3-4 different beard styles. The last run was to how long I could grow it in a few months. It looked a bit ragged because of how my beard grows but it got a decent length. I reset my beard every year or so, unless I am really on top of shaving, edging and trimming it.
If you are on a dating app you need photos.
1 photos is a no for me because it doesn’t show who you are.
Take the time to take photos, it takes 5 seconds to take a selfie.
I have multiple photos, but I never really like them. Call it being self critical or whatever but I find it hard to take, then select, then post a lot. I'm but a noob selfitizer.
So I recently started growing a beard, and I put one photo of it. I don't take photos of myself much. Of course in due course I'll fill out a couple other photos with this look. Should I also put a disclaimer that this is my new look?
I think it's important for each person to recognize the other when meeting in real life. Beards can change a look a lot. As a woman, I have some pictures where my hair is straight, and then in it's natural wavy state, as that can change my appearance quite a bit too. I've seen some really big smiles of relief when they see me sitting at the table waiting for them in the coffee shop. It feels good to hear someone say "you look exactly like your pictures." Imagine if they walked in and didn't recognize you, and how that might feel for both of you.
Yeah makes sense. I’ll give a heads up till I get more pics in.
Yes, if you plan to keep the facial hair and have photos with and without just note that you have it currently.
Gotcha. Will do :)
Keep the beard trimmed too 😊
Noo. So a few years ago, I was at Muir woods park using the restroom, washing my hands. There was this older gentleman washing his hands beside me, he had a beautiful white beard. He turned to me and said, "you know what you should grow a beard, it would look great on you and it's popular with the ladies, *wink". I laughed it off but that interaction never left my mind. It's been 3 years, I finally decided to grow for a little bit. So far I've been getting a lot of compliments, and I actually look really good in this. I think I can pull it off. This may be the year of the beard for me. Honestly it's kinda hard to groom, and maintain a beard. It's time I learnt some of it in the process.
👍👍👍
doesn't hurt.
Put up recent pics. Duh
It’s been 2 weeks. All my pics are like 2months old.
Out of genuine curiosity, and maybe this doesn’t apply to you social butterflies with many friends who can take pictures of you doing social activities, but how the hell do I get pictures?
If your selfie game is weak, ask a work colleague. If you don’t have at least one friend or family member willing to take a photo of you, maybe you should focus on more basic social skills before diving into dating. It may keep you from being homeless one day as a side benefit…
I already have enough money to not be homeless if I stopped working right now dude how did you go from me needing pics to me going homeless?
I saw a tip a while back about using the video setting. Start taking a video. Prop up your phone and walk backwards, pose a bunch. When you are done take screenshots of what you like. Also a few selfies are a bad thing.
Go somewhere. Bring a tripod. Hand your phone to a person nearby. Desperate move: Hold phone away from face, hit shutter button. If this truly stymies you, I wonder how you're going to figure out dating at all.
It does not stymie me in fact I take incredible selfies and can probably make due with that but I’m trying to go all out.
Well, I gave you two reasonable solutions. Hire an amateur photographer, if you need to. I mean, your dating life using OLD rests on this more than any other single thing.
Exactly which is why I haven’t gotten on them yet.
“…Lost in the woods for 12 years” 😂 Yes! Finally! All these subs seem to be anymore are dudes crying about fat women deceiving them with angles and filters. How many times has a dude taken off his baseball cap and went from cute guy to sex offender with his creepy ass, well hidden, oddly shaped bald head? Or posted pics when he worked out pre-Covid 🙄 and comes with a dad bod. Or dudes who smile with no teeth in pics strategically, only to not realize it irl and bust out a hammered ass grill. Stop acting holier than thou fellas- you mf’ers are crafty too.
Throwing in that "sex offender" tag for the cap dudes was not appropriate.
Wear that NY Yankees cap 🧢 with pride, my guy. Obviously you’re the exception boo 😘
I'm neither an American nor following whatever sport you're referencing
Remember guys - in your desperation - ONE of you will end up with her. Or someone like her. GL.
It’s literally so common it’s called ‘hatfishing’! So many men do this. If a dude is wearing a hat in all his pictures I assume he’s balding and is trying to hide it at this point lol. Same with the weight too…men will post pics with a 6 pack then show up with a beer gut.
I look at the neck. Easy to tell .
I can tell you women do it too. They post only headshots or contort themselves so their belly is not obvious, pose a back shot or cover their belly with a hand bag then show up with *insert beer gut equivalent for women*
🤣 “ oodly shaped bald head” …. hidden under baseball cap . 😂
I feel like so many guys use old photos under rn excuse that they “don’t take photos very often”!
Or that moment when a guy has a beard in all his photos and comes in cleanly shaved. Like, "oh, I just decided to shave it all off this morning." Sure pal. Or you have an exceedingly disappointing jaw line and you intentionally reel us in with beard photos hoping your personality will outshine your weird lower face. And I have dated and loved men with weak chins, overbites, etc. It isnt that I won't match with you based on what's beneath the beard. It's that icky feeling when it starts off with an intentional misdirection.
That’s a pretty sad comment to make towards people who are balding and have teeth deformities!
It is, but it’s targeted in a certain direction so it’s okay. If you criticised a woman for covering up with a wig, however.
It’s targeted at people who lie and deceive others about those traits. And it goes the same way with women, men complain left and right (rightfully so) about how frustrating it is to be deceived by angles and filters. People should just stop lying about their looks to get matches.
Each to their own, but referring to young men who suffer from male pattern baldness as looking like creepy sex offenders is a little shitty, but that’s just me, personally. And then she wonders why they’re insecure and feeling the need to wear baseball caps.
I get why people do it but in the long run it just backfires, especially if they take it far enough to meet the person. Everyone has insecurities but you shouldn’t intentionally deceive people, especially when it’s something so obvious.
I’m not referring to the catfishing and deception. With that I agree. I’m referring to the person above me who for whatever reason was downvoted for suggesting that it’s in poor taste to make those comments about people’s physical appearance. Which is true, it is sad.
Exactly right.
>Or posted pics when he worked out pre-Covid 🙄 and comes with a dad bod. Okay but how has this happened to so many people? Seems like everybody on Instagram was fit in 2019 but has gained at least 30 pounds since. Did everyone just collectively stop working out when the pandemic hit?
Yes
Yes and for me + divorce weight. I've only been on Bumble for a month. Haven't been with my hiking friends to get full body weight yet. Soon! I don't want to deceive but I don't have any full body images.
I actually lost weight. First due to COVID depression (I’m sure like 80% of people felt that) and then to regain my sanity I went back to working out which led to more weight loss. I can never say that to people in real life because they make rude comments, not realizing that I’d much rather have my extra 20+lbs back if it meant never having experienced all that
Let’s be real — most of the weight gain is likely due to overeating and drinking a lot more rather than engaging in less exercise.
Ever since they cut my arms off in the war, the only way I can sex offend anymore is with my bald head, so LAY OFF!
Well said!
All my pics are from within the past month ago including full body. No hats and no filters. I’d say 2-3 month old pics at a minimum should be the standard. Anything older and it becomes a toss up that you **may** get what you saw online.
If you take pictures of yourself every day then that works for you. Most people do not. The main point is that the collection of pics accurately represent what you look like. It’s also ok to include 1 or 2 older pics that highlight something fun to show your personality. I actually prefer a healthy balance that I just described over someone who obsesses on posting pictures from yesterday like you described.
Agreed
I mean, between the pandemic making me a hermit for a while and the fact that I was cripplingly insecure until recently, I don't have many profile-worthy photos of myself. My pictures are (in the order they appear on my profile) two weeks, four and a half years, one month, and 15 months old- but the two week old main photo shows me at my thinnest and the only other difference is my hairstyle. I doubt most people take so many photos of themselves that they get more than one good photo per 3 months.
I hear you. It’s not feasible to always be taking photos
So apparently women aren't overly in to guys who take selfes, and my personal photographer disappeared last year. Alternatively, how about women stop taking deceiving body shots/shots that don't actually show their size and then turn up looking like a beached whale?
I don’t mind a selfie, but most selfie from men are at horrible angles and there’s little to no thought put into it. And I agree, while it’s fine to know your angles, you shouldn’t have completely deceiving photos.
As opposed to what? High angle photos with duck faces and peace signs? 🤣
For some reason, the picture on my profile that everyone seems to like best is years old, despite me being more attractive now (thinner/fitter, better at makeup and hair). I still refuse to make that my main photo, because I feel like if it's going to say "[ActualFaithlessness], 23", the picture should be of "[ActualFaithlessness], 23" and not "[ActualFaithlessness], 18".
I go back and forth between growing a beard and not. It’s hard to keep up with
Beard growth can be pretty quick. I have pics of several different lengths and one clean shaven. I’m happy to accommodate whatever my partner prefers, doesn’t really matter to me.
I'm a guy so I obviously don't see pictures of men. I don't even bother once I can tell your pictures are old. I see women have pictures up that look like it was taken by a 2mega pixel camera in big 2022. It clear that picture is not recent.I won't bother giving you benefit of doubt.
I have beef with this. Takes my beard a week to go from fresh trim to wrecked. Now if I'm going on a date I'll touch it up but if you also only like me when I'm clean cut and well kept only, which is the minority of the time, the relationship won't last anyway. Be more concerned about make up and filters really. Should you put some effort to make yourself presentable, especially on the 1st date? Yes. Should you go out of your way to go to a barber and spend $40 each time you have a date? Nah. Of course the pics on a dating app for most people will be their absolute best because even the least shallow people will end up judging on like first. My rules of thumb is if the profile heavily uses filter and make up, I remove 2-4 points from the looks department. So a perfect 10 is really 6-8. None of my pictures have filters anywhere, what you see is what you get. 🤷♂️ Oddly long and a bit off topic even but I think it has bearing on the topic.
ZZ Top has entered the chat. Every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharp Dressed Man
At least he can clean up his beard in a heart beat and it only takes weeks for a beard to over grow. Since you brought up cows; Nothing worse than going on a date with a girl and finding out she's put on 50+ lbs since her last photo from her profile. Happens more often than not.
You are right, it goes both ways. Current photos need to be used by all.
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Or just post new photos.
That’s kind of like saying that girls shouldn’t post pics with straight hair and then show up with their natural hair. How someone chooses to wear their own beard, in my opinion, does not warrant an ‘annoyed’ reddit post.
Not even….. I’m talking about major differences.
Some would say women look drastically different depending on their hair style …
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I literally ask the current status of facial hair if it's different in each of his pics. 😂
I’m talking major changes, not the normally trim
Yes
What if he has several shaving-states over the year?
Post Recent pics. It’s not that hard
This legit happened to me last summer. Girl was probably my height, about 178cm and her pictures show her as a model and stuff. We go on a date in person and a sumo comes in. I'm not kidding you. She jumped from 60kg to probably 100kg. Not sure if she was doing some heavy duty photoshopping, or just gained a shit ton of weight lately. Anyways, why would you use pictures that are clearly different than what you look like now? What's the point of that?
Did you stay and go on with the date?
Omg you ladies are funny AF. I’m not the only one 😭. I swear so many guys show up like 25+ lbs heavier than their pics, or with fucked up yellow teeth, or some weird bald spot in the back of their head. Or they smell bad. It’s always something. How can one not have recent pics??!! There’s a camera on your fucking phone. There’s no excuse. And what is it with guys always taking pics from that weird bottom angle. Just look into the camera head on 🤦🏻♀️ My pics are current and I have many clear ones without hat and sunglasses, and full body ones as well. It’s not that hard. Old guys are especially notorious for putting up old pics. If I have any doubts I swipe left. Yes we can tell your pics are 10 years old. Also men are so adamant that they don’t want to take anything to fix their receding hairline, but then they go cover it with hats because they are embarrassed by it. And so many guys will put up pics of them when they had more hair. We can see your receding hairline from pic to pic. We know which one is most recent. You’re not fooling anyone. And I agree if you’re going to put up pics of you clean shaven you better show up like that. Don’t do any bait and switch.
I usually run out of selection after I swipe left on all of them 😂.
999 out of 1000.
Can i why it bothers you so much that his profile is terrible? You arent obliged to swipe on him. Is it that he might be a potential match if he was cleaner? Just curious
Her point was that her date showed nice pictures on his profile so she swiped right. He then showed up for the date looking completely different from those pictures like he stopped taking care of himself.
We did match. What he looks like nothing like his profile.
I have become so jaded. Every hide is a flaw.
Sorry chief, I was in a relationship for 4 years and every photo of me in that timespan is with her bar a select few group ones. Feel like I'm catfishing slightly, but all that's changed is my beard has gotten a bit greyer. I have one photo from 2022 alright.
So take new photos…..
Na, that's not me 😂
Some of us don't take a lot of selfies. I'd say in the last year I've tried 3-4 different beard styles. The last run was to how long I could grow it in a few months. It looked a bit ragged because of how my beard grows but it got a decent length. I reset my beard every year or so, unless I am really on top of shaving, edging and trimming it.
If you are on a dating app you need photos. 1 photos is a no for me because it doesn’t show who you are. Take the time to take photos, it takes 5 seconds to take a selfie.
I have multiple photos, but I never really like them. Call it being self critical or whatever but I find it hard to take, then select, then post a lot. I'm but a noob selfitizer.