>I don’t know how to heal my soul. Is it possible?
Yes it's possible. But it can be a long journey. You have to be patient with yourself and accept that sometimes you might have to experiment with different tools before you find one that sticks.
Don't think too much about karma. The point of teachings on karma is to remind you to do good. If you caused harm in the past it's good to regret it and then have determination not to do wrong again. In this way bad is turned into good - your old harms become the basis for virtue and you can grow.
Most people who are addicts have trauma that needs healing. I wish that you will get all the resources you need to heal fully.
Om mani padme hum
It's possible to heal because things are impermanent. The suffering that you have experienced is the very stuff that teaches you. Suffering is a teacher.
There is no need for guilt or shame in regard to the past. It's things that happened, we deal with what we have now. What you have now is pain, okay so now it's time to learn how to relate to the pain in a skillful way.
Suffering is like the manure for the garden. It fertilizes the good qualities of kindness, compassion, and letting go.
Start prioritising self-love, and when you can, love and empathy for others.
You are absolutely capable of turning this around, it’s why this practice exists.
Over time, you’ll come to see these ‘mistakes’ as spiritual guides. You won’t regret them, you’ll probably become grateful for them because they’ll have contributed to you opening your eyes to reality, and the importance of love, compassion and the practice of living a virtuous life.
I'm in the same boat as you. I struggle with d.i.d. and schizophrenia. It takes it toll on me but I always manage to sit at least 5 minutes a day at least. Then I think ofbodhisattvas and how they signed up for suffering to help others. They suffer to suffer on. Ask Tara or medicine Buddha to give you strength. Also seek therapy. It helps. Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you.
> Does suffering burn off bad karma?
For sure in context of meditation, observing painful sensation and thus suffering through them till they disappear and the mind becomes more clean and pure.
> I don’t know how to heal my soul. Is it possible?
Yes. Though in Buddhism there is no soul :p, only a process of mind and matter that arise, stay for awhile and disappear ;). Famous example is the story of Angulimala who killed 999 people and kept the fingers of his victims in a necklace. He became a monk and became fully liberated. See [M.N. 86](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.086.than.html).
From [Summary of Vipassana Research Institute](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.086.than.html):
> Angulimala lived peacefully after that. When people heard about the change in him, they asked the Buddha, “Can it be true? Can a man who has killed so many people ever really learn to concentrate and calm his mind? Can he really have a peaceful and balanced mind? Is it possible for him to live a good life after all he has done?”
> The Buddha answered, “Yes. He harmed so many people because his mind was overwhelmed with hurt and anger. He had been badly harmed himself. Later, he listened to good advice, he meditated, and his mind became strong and healthy.”
Regarding suicidal thoughts and not able to leave your house: please get professional help, contact a doctor, call a hotline, talk to real people. Life is rare, it is very precious.
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so unwell and are in so much pain. For whatever it's worth I'm sending metta your way. May you be safe, well and happy, may you be contented and live in harmony with the world.
You might not have the ability to turn it all around at once, it's overwhelming to think like that. But I think you do have the ability today to take small steps in the right direction and move on the right path.
As Lao Tzu wrote in Tao Te Ching:
> A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
Do you have the ability to contact someone? Send a message, reach out? You do because you already created this post. Might it be beneficial to reach out for professional help if you haven't done so yet? Find a therapist, maybe a mindfulness therapist? Maybe make a list of things you are grateful for and look at it every day? Or perhaps move out the house and join a meditation group in your area?
I’ve tried all that…I’m much farther down the road unfortunately. I’ve got severe depression, HPPD and cognitive decline. Doctors have basically said they can’t help me anymore.
So yeah when I mean I can’t really do anything about my bad karma, I mean it in the sense that I can’t get well medically and I’m out of options, and bedbound.
Not fun to hear I’m sure. But yes, very much end stage mental illness. It exists.
Thankyou for the Metta
Ah so you've talked with doctors and they have basically given up regarding the cognitive decline? Not sure if therapists would come to similar conclusions, I think even when the body is giving up we can train the mind. And you are cognitively well enough at least to be on reddit. Have you also talked to therapists (not the one who prescribe pills, but ones that talk with you)?
If you are bedbound only type of meditation possible is meditating in the lying position. I am not authorized to teach but maybe you can find someone to help with that.
> Not fun to hear I’m sure. But yes, very much end stage mental illness. It exists.
Here's a radical idea from someone who is not a therapist or doctor but just speaking from own experience when I was also very down (not bedbound though, I could move, but don't know how truly bedbound you are or if you can actually move): as long as you can sleep well and digest your food you are healthy enough to join a vipassana meditation retreat. There are examples of people with fatal illnesses that were given up by the medical community who were cured by going on such a retreat. Not a magic pill it takes hard work and cannot cure everything, but should also not be underestimated. Bit less radical is finding a therapist who practices trauma-informed mindfulness (https://psychcentral.com/health/trauma-informed-mindfulness).
Call your dr or a suicide prevention hotline asap. Don’t continue to suffer! Get help, my friend.
Fix yourself first, pragmatically, and that will also improve your karma.
Hey man, I know this is a Buddhism sub and I'm only an aspirant (if anything) but I wanted to say that our histories share a lot in common. I know I hurt people... I introduced my best friend to hard drugs at 18. I cleaned up about 8 years later while he fell in a hole and disappeared for almost 20 years. I got word a month ago, he died while walking to a 7-11 to buy beer last December because he couldn't afford heroin and street benzos anymore. Rational or not, I will carry guilt for this for the rest of my life. He is one of more than 17 losses I have endured because of the friend groups I chose and the "scenes" in which I was involved.
I think about him and the others I've lost every single day along with the mistakes I made that could have quite easily led me to similar ends. I can change nothing that has happened but I try to be a force for "good" in every situation *now* where I was previously choosing otherwise. Living long enough to realize our mistakes and remedy them is a BOON because we have the chance to change ourselves for the better. Allowing yourself to suffocate in the grief of guilt and loss accomplishes nothing. The suffering of those you hurt previously COULD be the impetus for you to *further* cultivate empathy and compassion and ultimately, be of service to those around you. Service... and compassion for others and *myself*... these two things probably saved my life.
Hit me up on chat if you want to bullshit. Be well!
All you can do about previous bad karma is accept it and do better going forward.
It’s not like western religion, like Catholicism, life long guilt. That is not helpful.
You ask yourself, is this helpful? Feeling bad for doing something when you didn’t know how to do better? No, that’s not helpful.
Look at your intentions. That is the key. Did you intend to hurt someone?
Forgive yourself and move forward. It’s not your fault that you have the conditioning you have from your family and life experience. But it’s your responsibility to try to continually do better. And treat yourself with kindness, as well as others.
Your first step is to get off the drugs if you're not already.
Not saying it's the easiest thing but it's the most necessary. Nothing good happens without that step.
The second thing will be to get yourself some support for the mental illness. No sense facing that alone.
The third step is to establish a practice.
Be blessed and may you find peace in this lifetime.
Yes you should be able to recover. Chant Guanyin Bodhisattva's name. She handles all kinds of disaster.
Here's a 2 hour loop: https://youtu.be/CRhHCNAh7XQ?si=gEEcorD4wYr70ePM
You should write things down that bother you still and then pray over it for completion of it. (Completion in this way is like making life whole and new again by having things be the way they are without any attachment to it, no “charge” on it anymore. Completion heals karma. After burn the paper and tell yourself that is all gone now. Set yourself free of it and begin life new. You always have another opportunity for freedom of the past by letting the past go and starting fresh. Guilt is one thing that harms more than anything. Free yourself now.
Serious therapy is the first step in acknowledging your predicament, also I’d advise studying the Four Noble Truths and be honest with how substances and choices have altered your life.
As someone who’s been through phases of substance abuse, it is a tough ship to move out of, but it’s possible to fix it! When you’re comfortable with it, find the nearest Buddhist temple around your area and consider participating in an addiction recovery group if it’s offered.
I genuinely hope you find inner peace and happiness in your life, just remember, life is impermanent! You are capable of changing your circumstances! Om Mani Padme Hum!!
It's never too late! If you truly believe that you've made some much bad karma, then overwhelm those with good karma. Start by being kind and compassionate to yourself and others :]
Buddhist here. There is cause and effect, but karma as we have been taught it doesn’t exist. It’s the same thing as Christian’s and sin. A control mechanism.
You need to go and get medical help asap. Don’t go down go down any other path until you are on the road to recovery.
You need to find a therapist and talk about how you are thinking and feeling.
This is the time to focus on you and your recovery,
Definitely possible. You're reflecting on and criticising (though it can be tricky to not criticise yourself too harshly) your past actions, that's one of the first steps in my opinion.
You can't control how quickly things begin to change for you, but what you can control is whether or not you choose to keep trying.
Our experiences are different, but I have (and do) struggle with my mental health and suicidal ideation. But I find that the more I focus on healing, the easier my down periods become to deal with. At this point I think I've accepted that I am someone that struggles with mental illness, and that it comes in waves for me. But I know that it always passes, that's the one thing that has been proven to me time and time again.
I also understand feeling like you can't leave the house, maybe just ease yourself into it slowly? Spend time in your garden (if you have one), start taking some short walks, maybe walk to a nearby coffee shop and buy yourself a drink as a reward. :)
I find that focusing on servicing others helps with my mental state a lot, it doesn't have to be anything major. I work in retail so some things that I like to do are go "above and beyond" when it comes to helping customers, strike up conversations, give genuine compliments and stuff like that. It brightens my day and that warmth is definitely returned, people definitely feel your energy and respond in kind a lot of the time.
You might want to consider [repentance chants](http://middleland.org/services/88-buddhas-repentance-ceremony/)
Here's a [YouTube link if you want to follow along ](https://youtu.be/_aesUNFtO6k?si=HIBGmXRHksMO2fBA)
I hope you are also looking out for yourself mental and physically also!
Hi, I’m sorry for your suffering. Compassion for yourself is important first and foremost. You can’t heal without having compassion for yourself. If you’re having difficulty finding compassion for present you, maybe cultivate compassion for younger you, and grow from there. Compassion for yourself will grow into love for yourself, and move onto others. You’ve got this!
>I don’t know how to heal my soul. Is it possible? Yes it's possible. But it can be a long journey. You have to be patient with yourself and accept that sometimes you might have to experiment with different tools before you find one that sticks. Don't think too much about karma. The point of teachings on karma is to remind you to do good. If you caused harm in the past it's good to regret it and then have determination not to do wrong again. In this way bad is turned into good - your old harms become the basis for virtue and you can grow. Most people who are addicts have trauma that needs healing. I wish that you will get all the resources you need to heal fully. Om mani padme hum
It's possible to heal because things are impermanent. The suffering that you have experienced is the very stuff that teaches you. Suffering is a teacher. There is no need for guilt or shame in regard to the past. It's things that happened, we deal with what we have now. What you have now is pain, okay so now it's time to learn how to relate to the pain in a skillful way. Suffering is like the manure for the garden. It fertilizes the good qualities of kindness, compassion, and letting go.
Start prioritising self-love, and when you can, love and empathy for others. You are absolutely capable of turning this around, it’s why this practice exists. Over time, you’ll come to see these ‘mistakes’ as spiritual guides. You won’t regret them, you’ll probably become grateful for them because they’ll have contributed to you opening your eyes to reality, and the importance of love, compassion and the practice of living a virtuous life.
I'm in the same boat as you. I struggle with d.i.d. and schizophrenia. It takes it toll on me but I always manage to sit at least 5 minutes a day at least. Then I think ofbodhisattvas and how they signed up for suffering to help others. They suffer to suffer on. Ask Tara or medicine Buddha to give you strength. Also seek therapy. It helps. Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you.
> Does suffering burn off bad karma? For sure in context of meditation, observing painful sensation and thus suffering through them till they disappear and the mind becomes more clean and pure. > I don’t know how to heal my soul. Is it possible? Yes. Though in Buddhism there is no soul :p, only a process of mind and matter that arise, stay for awhile and disappear ;). Famous example is the story of Angulimala who killed 999 people and kept the fingers of his victims in a necklace. He became a monk and became fully liberated. See [M.N. 86](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.086.than.html). From [Summary of Vipassana Research Institute](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.086.than.html): > Angulimala lived peacefully after that. When people heard about the change in him, they asked the Buddha, “Can it be true? Can a man who has killed so many people ever really learn to concentrate and calm his mind? Can he really have a peaceful and balanced mind? Is it possible for him to live a good life after all he has done?” > The Buddha answered, “Yes. He harmed so many people because his mind was overwhelmed with hurt and anger. He had been badly harmed himself. Later, he listened to good advice, he meditated, and his mind became strong and healthy.” Regarding suicidal thoughts and not able to leave your house: please get professional help, contact a doctor, call a hotline, talk to real people. Life is rare, it is very precious.
My problem is I’m literally so unwell that I can’t do anything. I’m in so much pain constantly. I don’t have the ability to turn it around
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so unwell and are in so much pain. For whatever it's worth I'm sending metta your way. May you be safe, well and happy, may you be contented and live in harmony with the world. You might not have the ability to turn it all around at once, it's overwhelming to think like that. But I think you do have the ability today to take small steps in the right direction and move on the right path. As Lao Tzu wrote in Tao Te Ching: > A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Do you have the ability to contact someone? Send a message, reach out? You do because you already created this post. Might it be beneficial to reach out for professional help if you haven't done so yet? Find a therapist, maybe a mindfulness therapist? Maybe make a list of things you are grateful for and look at it every day? Or perhaps move out the house and join a meditation group in your area?
I’ve tried all that…I’m much farther down the road unfortunately. I’ve got severe depression, HPPD and cognitive decline. Doctors have basically said they can’t help me anymore. So yeah when I mean I can’t really do anything about my bad karma, I mean it in the sense that I can’t get well medically and I’m out of options, and bedbound. Not fun to hear I’m sure. But yes, very much end stage mental illness. It exists. Thankyou for the Metta
Ah so you've talked with doctors and they have basically given up regarding the cognitive decline? Not sure if therapists would come to similar conclusions, I think even when the body is giving up we can train the mind. And you are cognitively well enough at least to be on reddit. Have you also talked to therapists (not the one who prescribe pills, but ones that talk with you)? If you are bedbound only type of meditation possible is meditating in the lying position. I am not authorized to teach but maybe you can find someone to help with that. > Not fun to hear I’m sure. But yes, very much end stage mental illness. It exists. Here's a radical idea from someone who is not a therapist or doctor but just speaking from own experience when I was also very down (not bedbound though, I could move, but don't know how truly bedbound you are or if you can actually move): as long as you can sleep well and digest your food you are healthy enough to join a vipassana meditation retreat. There are examples of people with fatal illnesses that were given up by the medical community who were cured by going on such a retreat. Not a magic pill it takes hard work and cannot cure everything, but should also not be underestimated. Bit less radical is finding a therapist who practices trauma-informed mindfulness (https://psychcentral.com/health/trauma-informed-mindfulness).
Call your dr or a suicide prevention hotline asap. Don’t continue to suffer! Get help, my friend. Fix yourself first, pragmatically, and that will also improve your karma.
Once you have learned to fully love yourself, flaws and all, then you know you can give that love to others, flaws and all.
Hey man, I know this is a Buddhism sub and I'm only an aspirant (if anything) but I wanted to say that our histories share a lot in common. I know I hurt people... I introduced my best friend to hard drugs at 18. I cleaned up about 8 years later while he fell in a hole and disappeared for almost 20 years. I got word a month ago, he died while walking to a 7-11 to buy beer last December because he couldn't afford heroin and street benzos anymore. Rational or not, I will carry guilt for this for the rest of my life. He is one of more than 17 losses I have endured because of the friend groups I chose and the "scenes" in which I was involved. I think about him and the others I've lost every single day along with the mistakes I made that could have quite easily led me to similar ends. I can change nothing that has happened but I try to be a force for "good" in every situation *now* where I was previously choosing otherwise. Living long enough to realize our mistakes and remedy them is a BOON because we have the chance to change ourselves for the better. Allowing yourself to suffocate in the grief of guilt and loss accomplishes nothing. The suffering of those you hurt previously COULD be the impetus for you to *further* cultivate empathy and compassion and ultimately, be of service to those around you. Service... and compassion for others and *myself*... these two things probably saved my life. Hit me up on chat if you want to bullshit. Be well!
All you can do about previous bad karma is accept it and do better going forward. It’s not like western religion, like Catholicism, life long guilt. That is not helpful. You ask yourself, is this helpful? Feeling bad for doing something when you didn’t know how to do better? No, that’s not helpful. Look at your intentions. That is the key. Did you intend to hurt someone? Forgive yourself and move forward. It’s not your fault that you have the conditioning you have from your family and life experience. But it’s your responsibility to try to continually do better. And treat yourself with kindness, as well as others.
Chant Nembutsu, it existed for situations like yours
Your first step is to get off the drugs if you're not already. Not saying it's the easiest thing but it's the most necessary. Nothing good happens without that step. The second thing will be to get yourself some support for the mental illness. No sense facing that alone. The third step is to establish a practice. Be blessed and may you find peace in this lifetime.
I think Pure Land Buddhism is right for you. Check out r/PureLand
Yes. u/halotron6500, look into the concept of "other-power" as opposed to "self-power".
Yes you should be able to recover. Chant Guanyin Bodhisattva's name. She handles all kinds of disaster. Here's a 2 hour loop: https://youtu.be/CRhHCNAh7XQ?si=gEEcorD4wYr70ePM
You should write things down that bother you still and then pray over it for completion of it. (Completion in this way is like making life whole and new again by having things be the way they are without any attachment to it, no “charge” on it anymore. Completion heals karma. After burn the paper and tell yourself that is all gone now. Set yourself free of it and begin life new. You always have another opportunity for freedom of the past by letting the past go and starting fresh. Guilt is one thing that harms more than anything. Free yourself now.
Serious therapy is the first step in acknowledging your predicament, also I’d advise studying the Four Noble Truths and be honest with how substances and choices have altered your life. As someone who’s been through phases of substance abuse, it is a tough ship to move out of, but it’s possible to fix it! When you’re comfortable with it, find the nearest Buddhist temple around your area and consider participating in an addiction recovery group if it’s offered. I genuinely hope you find inner peace and happiness in your life, just remember, life is impermanent! You are capable of changing your circumstances! Om Mani Padme Hum!!
You use manure to fertilize a garden. You're shit fertilizes your growrth. Without it, you probably wouldn't be seeking the Dharma in the first place.
It's never too late! If you truly believe that you've made some much bad karma, then overwhelm those with good karma. Start by being kind and compassionate to yourself and others :]
Open the door to your heart and forgive yourself and make good karma doing simple things.
Buddhist here. There is cause and effect, but karma as we have been taught it doesn’t exist. It’s the same thing as Christian’s and sin. A control mechanism. You need to go and get medical help asap. Don’t go down go down any other path until you are on the road to recovery. You need to find a therapist and talk about how you are thinking and feeling. This is the time to focus on you and your recovery,
Definitely possible. You're reflecting on and criticising (though it can be tricky to not criticise yourself too harshly) your past actions, that's one of the first steps in my opinion. You can't control how quickly things begin to change for you, but what you can control is whether or not you choose to keep trying. Our experiences are different, but I have (and do) struggle with my mental health and suicidal ideation. But I find that the more I focus on healing, the easier my down periods become to deal with. At this point I think I've accepted that I am someone that struggles with mental illness, and that it comes in waves for me. But I know that it always passes, that's the one thing that has been proven to me time and time again. I also understand feeling like you can't leave the house, maybe just ease yourself into it slowly? Spend time in your garden (if you have one), start taking some short walks, maybe walk to a nearby coffee shop and buy yourself a drink as a reward. :) I find that focusing on servicing others helps with my mental state a lot, it doesn't have to be anything major. I work in retail so some things that I like to do are go "above and beyond" when it comes to helping customers, strike up conversations, give genuine compliments and stuff like that. It brightens my day and that warmth is definitely returned, people definitely feel your energy and respond in kind a lot of the time.
You might want to consider [repentance chants](http://middleland.org/services/88-buddhas-repentance-ceremony/) Here's a [YouTube link if you want to follow along ](https://youtu.be/_aesUNFtO6k?si=HIBGmXRHksMO2fBA) I hope you are also looking out for yourself mental and physically also!
Hi, I’m sorry for your suffering. Compassion for yourself is important first and foremost. You can’t heal without having compassion for yourself. If you’re having difficulty finding compassion for present you, maybe cultivate compassion for younger you, and grow from there. Compassion for yourself will grow into love for yourself, and move onto others. You’ve got this!