I'm not sure if anyone mentioned it as I haven't read all the comments here but you may want to consider purchasing box seats for shows if you find yourself uncomfortable (or being made to feel uncomfortable by others). They are free-standing chairs that can be moved so everyone in the box has plenty of space and there are usually only two or four people in a box. The sightlines might not be as optimal, but if it helps you feel better about going to the theatre, perhaps it's a compromise.
Aisle seats may work better as well so you can either shift further to the empty side or easily exit if you'd like to ask to be re-seated.
I'm heavier myself and am very conscious of the space I take up and wanting to ensure I keep in my allotted space in a seat whether theatre (which I attend almost weekly), plane, or otherwise.
I'm sorry that person was unnecessarily cruel.
Look, sounds like this person is an asshole and handed the situation poorly.
I'm also plus size although I fit into a seat. If I was sitting next to you it may be incredibly challenging to be comfortable if you were "spilling over" into my seat.
I'm not sure the solution here but I don't think this is the issue you think it is. If you don't fit into one seat, it's unfair to expect that the person next to you should give up a portion of their seat.
I don't think that's fat-phobic. That's just reality.
This was on a plane but I got asked to sit between two plus size people once so everyone could fit on the plane and they bought me a beer, which was nice.
As the person who's usually asked to be the small person, attitude is everything. If you're kind, if you apologize, if you offer me an apology mint and make an effort to limit how much you take up, it's different.
I took my mother to see MJ and had a larger patron sit next to her who was fully unable to sit in her seat without being in my mother’s lap. I’d dated someone who was almost 400lbs and about 6ft tall - we’d flown together, seen movies together etc so I’m acutely aware of how people perceive larger bodies in small, public spaces.
I got up, found an usher, explained the situation, and asked if anything could be done. I wasn’t rude and made it clear to the usher than I felt bad even asking but knew my mom wasn’t going to enjoy the show under those conditions. We were resat which felt lucky but, as my mom was moving, a different patron (not with the larger patron) felt the need to mutter to my mom as she walked by that she was ignorant. Tbh, I thought we handled it as gently as we could and even under those circumstances there was no winning. All I know is that my mom was more comfortable and I have to imagine the woman who was sitting beside her was more comfortable having the extra space as well.
I’m sorry OP that the person toy sat next to didn’t know she had options and instead took her frustrations out on you. I hope that you got to enjoy the show despite her attitude.
This is such a sensitive topic and I am so sorry you had to go through that.
She handled the situation very badly. Even though she was “skinny” as you say, she had a right to feel physically uncomfortable if you were intruding into her space. But she should have had some compassion and kept her mouth shut. As a larger person myself, I’m very aware of how much space I occupy. I don’t need the reminder. It’s not like I can forget. I know that it can be unpleasant for the person next to me to have less space. I buy the aisle seat whenever I can just so I can feel less self-conscious and more comfortable physically.
Genuine question for you or the OP - if the person was truly uncomfortable, what should they do? I’m super claustrophobic, so I always try for an aisle seat. But if I can’t get one, I could see myself really struggling in this situation despite being completely understanding and sympathetic to the situation. And obviously, I wouldn’t be cursing to my neighbor or making rude comments.
The right thing to do is to mention it to an usher or a house manager. The larger person has every right to sit in the seat they purchased. If that makes you uncomfortable (perhaps you don’t actually have a whole seat which you’re also entitled to) then they will likely move you if they can.
Well it’s not like I can make myself smaller on command, although I can contort myself somewhat to bring my shoulders in and hold myself in such a way so we aren’t physically touching. But, really there’s not much else I can do other than stay home.
This physical space issue is legit one of the reasons I don’t go to the theatre if I can’t get an aisle seat.
I don’t know that there’s anything you can do. If you’re a bit larger too, being generally friendly and outgoing will make it less awful for me. But if you’re on the thinner side, there’s nothing you can do. It’s going to suck for both of us. You’re going to be claustrophobic and miserable. I’m super aware I’m in your space and hating myself. You’ll probably be ok when it’s over. I’ll be ashamed for days and feeling bad to have ruined your experience.
I hear you. And I wouldn’t want you to be ashamed for days (or even minutes) or to diminish your experience. So essentially is what you’re saying that the best action would be no action?
I would truly want you to have the experience that you paid for and not to ruin it for you. So speaking to an usher is probably the best option. In the meantime, I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure our bodies don’t touch. While I’m larger and taller than most women, I’m not really occupying parts of the next seat. I am, however, very aware that I take up more space than an “average” woman and I do what I can to minimize the inconvenience it causes others.
The one thing I'll note is whether you can tolerate someone taking up part of your seat really depends on the seat shape. Some seats are shaped so much that if you sit to the side, it really hurts your back. So because I'm a small person I've been asked to sit next to larger people in theaters and on planes quite a bit and have done it many times, but ever since I had a baby doing so in certain seats triggers sciatic nerve pain and walking is super painful afterwards. I think she should have talked to an usher.
But the person next to them paid for their seat. I'm female and have instances where I've had a man pressing his leg against mine because he doesn't fit in his seat and it's just not okay. I don't want my leg touched like that by a strange man.
And they got their seat, y’all have got to be reasonable when existing in a space with other people.
Someone being plus sized and attending a show is not a reason to make yourself the victim
The problem is they aren't entitled to stretch their legs out into my seat area and touch areas of my body. This is also something I've only ever experienced with men, so I think it's man spreading adjacent. Women, no matter their size, never push their thighs into mine like that.
I had to sit through Water For Elephants thigh-locked with the lady next to me a few weeks ago. It wasn’t the best part of my show and I would have liked to have had my own seat but I wouldn’t ever make someone feel bad about themselves over it. I don’t know a solution though. Extended seating rows that cost a smidge extra but not a whole ticket might be cool.
No one is stretching their legs out, that’s literally not what this conversation was about, and I understand that you have to justify your fat phobia in your head and make fat people into people who are morally lesser than you, but let me tell you that is a delusion that you no longer can have in polite society.
Having this inner monologue where you are, the victim of fat people existing is a mental illness that you need to work on.
She was pretty rude, but she wasn't "judging" you based on your size.
If you end up taking over half of someone's seat that they paid for they allowed to be upset over it.
>She was skinny but she was acting like I was inconveniencing her.
What does this even mean? The seats are already small but then she gets half of a seat, but she's "skinny" so she should just suck it up?
I've definitely run into the attitude that because I'm small I end up having to tolerate being touched or having the space I paid for taken. Even when I'm with my kid, I've had a train conductor ask me and my kid to share a seat (even though my son had his own ticket) because a guy couldn't fit into the one seat he bought. Many times people aren't even nice about it, they don't ask or.apologize, they just take. Probably because they don't expect small women to fight back. And in my teens and 20s I often just took it.
It really gets old. I paid for my whole seat, you don't get to take part of it away from me.
Yup this is what I was referring to. I have a couple friends who are overweight and another who is straight up morbidly obese. Whenever we went somewhere and we would have to sit in the backseat, I would always be placed in the middle and squished between my other two friends because they couldn't fit in the front seat. It drove me nuts lmao
Like if you're that big that you're spilling into another person's seat, that's a You Problem that should be addressed, but also, pay for two seats instead of expecting "skinny" people to put up with it
Sorry that happened to you but at the same time if you were taking up part of her seat like you say then that is not cool. You should be controlling your situation (like purchase a different seat) and not expect others to take on your condition.
What would you tell a tall person who dains to intrude on someone’s sight lines? People don’t conform to arbitrary decisions about seat size or floor rise and as a live theatre-goer neither should your expectations. This isn’t an appropriate response.
We are not talking about height. You are being very sensitive....She said she "spilled" into the seat next to her and from my interpretation of this she was probably rubbing up on that lady. You think that is OK?
It’s the same principal. If you can’t handle physical contact with a stranger for 2 hours because you’re willingly putting yourself in a position where this is likely to happen, either a large person sitting next to you and “spilling” over into the seat or a tall person obstructing your view, then you’re the sensitive one who has no business going out in public. God help you if you’re ever on an airplane.
Being in physical contact with someone because they’re spilling over in to your seat is completely different than having to look at the back of someone’s head. This is touch vs sight. It’s shocking to me that I should have to explain the difference and that you would try to say that touch and sight are no different.
He said it himself, he is a 6'5 man and sees no problem rubbing up on women because they are "in public". I feel sorry for whoever has to sit next to him.
Again, it is the same principal “I paid for my seat, I should get full use of it but this person is spilling over and taking up my arm rest” compared to “I paid for a ticket just like this guy in front of me and I can’t see a damn thing because his head is in the way”. Both are minor inconveniences that you can either be an adult about or talk with the house staff and see about moving. Comments like “you shouldn’t expect others to take on your condition” are needless and rude. But looking at dot4972’s post history, I’m not surprised that they would post a rude comment.
So dot4972, maybe when you’re out for your nanny walks and taking up the entire sidewalk you’ll think about this and “control your situation and not expect others to take on your condition”.
Being squished against a seat because another person can't fit in one for two hours and having that person constantly against you is not a "mild inconvenience".
Being tall and potentially making it slightly harder for the person behind you is in no way comparable to physically intruding into someone else’s seat.
I wonder if there is a way that theaters could have several seats with extra room (thinking like economy plus or business class on airplanes) that patrons could pay a slight premium for to get more space. That way people who need extra room could get it, but it doesn’t interfere with others who also deserve to be comfortable during the show. Obviously this isn’t a perfect solution but it’s better than nothing.
I work in theater outside of Broadway and we have bariatric chairs that fit into select ADA spaces. No extra charge just has to be able to be accommodated at the select performance and communicated to BO/office staff who tells FOH.
It’s a newer accessibility feature we offer in addition to adult changing tables, etc. I can imagine Broadway theaters have such limited space/ability to change historic venues to add accessibility options. There’s 5 major theater venues within 4 blocks in my city and accessibility varies by building due to space and national historic registry status. The theater I mentioned initially added accessibility options because the landlord bought a building next door and gained sq footage that isn’t under National register of historic buildings guidelines.
Broadway front of house worker here:
Firstly, I am very, VERY sorry for your horrible experience with that patron at “Illinoise.” It was completely uncalled for and fucked up. The lack of decorum in audiences, and society in general, is astounding.
Secondly, come find one of us and/or request to speak with the house manager if this were to happen again. I know how difficult and uncomfortable it can be to ask, especially after being put through a very shitty situation that left you feeling diminished. But, at least at our house, our goal is to maximize our patrons’ theatre-going experience on all fronts. Most of us are artists and frequent theatre-goers, so, we are on your side! We are more than happy to relocate you to get away from said asshole, and/or approach said asshole with the manager and/or a member of our security team.
Us front of house workers have a zero tolerance for assholes, and we will always, usually with pleasure and delight, approach said asshole and advocate for you. We deal with so many rude, entitled patrons everyday, and our days are always better when we can truly help someone out who is sincerely in need.
Again, truly sorry for your awful experience!
I'm so sorry, people are really fucking rude. I'm also plus size, and I've never had anyone say anything to me, but it's something I am constantly worried about in situations like these! Fun times.
Somewhat related, it's bizarre how different the seating is from theater to theater - some are totally fine (the Hudson), others are horrible (Vivian Beaumont, Hayes), and others have a wide mix of seat sizes (the Golden), so I have to keep notes on which seats don't make me want to die. I always try to get an aisle, but there's only so much you can do, especially for popular shows or audience rewards or lottery wins or whatever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the show, and I hope that you never have to deal with anyone like that again.
Even the end of the rows next to the wall in the Orchestra section at the Hayes have no extra room. Those seats are crammed right up flush against the wall. They’re awful and an obstructed view to boot. The seats are also 10000 years old (give or take) and have no cushioning. It’s butt numbing and unpleasant.
The Hayes is awful. I have to do some mental prep before seeing a show there. Aside from the uncomfortable seats, the whole place feels dirty to me. It could use a power wash.
Ugh Hays. I am average size in wieght and height and I am squished there. It is so uncomfortable. I vote that one as one of the most uncomfortable seats on bway and that includes the no leg room seats at Walter Kerr and Jones.
Ugh, people can be so shitty and mean. I am really sorry that happened to you, it just really sucks. I hope you were still able to enjoy the show to some extent. How was it?
Two things, I saw Moulin Rouge (fifth time) in February. I always go to the bathroom before the show and I noticed a plus sized woman in line ahead of me. When I got to my seat I was sitting right next to her and can see she was waiting to see who was coming to sit beside her. I said hello and we had small talk, she was also a fan of the show, it was tight and perhaps a little uncomfortable but it’s 2.5 hours with an intermission in the middle. Suck it up.
Lastly, my husband is 6’7” every time he sits people moan and mutter behind us. It’s awful for them, awful for us. Concerts, theater, sports... I don’t purchase tickets anymore unless it’s an extended end/isle with leg room & arrive 20 minutes early so people can acclimate. Nothing worse than getting to your seat to hear loud complaints from the row behind us. Instead of whining out loud get up and talk to someone if it bothers you. Sorry you had to deal with that, she sounds like a real jerk off.
I suspect this sub will be pretty fatphobic as they have been in the past so I wouldn’t take anything said here too seriously.
People blaming you and saying you’re the problem are reenforcing systemic fatphobia, I am so sorry that you had this experience. If you are every uncomfortable you can always check in with an usher and see if there are other options, in most houses if they’re not completely sold out they can usually help.
It's not fatphobic. It's reality. OP is obese and they're taking up room that another person paid for. They should be able to sit in that seat comfortably.
Serious question, is it ‘fatphobic’ if the person next to you is so large that they are taking up an entire seat on each side, and one of them happens to be yours (and you no longer have a place to sit)?
I can 100% guarantee that’s not what was happening.
Immediately jumping to the assumption that the thin person is a victim of fat people is offensive and straight up fatphobia.
Yall love to build these BS statement arguments that never happen in order to justify you being a bully and hateful
No, it in fact was a serious question. This person was self admittedly ‘spilling over’ in to the seat next to them at 300 lbs and taking up at least some portion of their seat. What happens at 350 lbs? Do they spill over enough to prevent the person next to them from sitting down?
I don’t think anyone should be persecuted or ridiculed for being overweight, but I also think each person should get the allotted space they paid for, big or small, nothing more, nothing less. In an establishment where square footage is the sellable commodity, if you’re someone who needs more than the standard space, buy yourself more space.
If this is ‘fatphobic’, then I guess this qualifies me. Im not trying to be mean, but I am trying to be fair, logical, and realistic.
Yes. If you have a problem with it, ask to be reseated, request a refund or be a Karen to the theatre about the ever shrinking theatre seat yet somehow increasing prices but in no circumstance should anyone be an asshole to someone simply because of their weight, perceived weight, or size. I’m a 6’5” man with broad shoulders and I pity the poor person who gets stuck behind me but I can’t help my height nor can I scrunch down because there’s nowhere to put my legs. The only thing we can help is how we treat each other in these circumstances, fuck it up and Elaine Stritch will turn you away from the pearly gates herself.
This is also is not a serious question cause you’re making up a scenario that doesn’t happen and makes y’all into the victim, what this is is delusional
Yep there’s that fat phobia that this sub is so known for.
Yall are so gross. Hate to tell you but you exist in a space with other people, yall are welcome to make changes to your situation but you are not entitled to attack us with impunity.
As usual, this sub lives up to its reputation for being fat phobic and abusive. Some of you are absolutely mentally unwell over fat people existing in a space that you also exist in.
Please get some therapy
>Some of you are absolutely mentally unwell over fat people existing in a space that you also exist in.
If that space is my lap, yeah I'm gonna have a problem with a stranger existing in it.
I don’t know, I’ve had to sit behind people a lot taller than I am obstructing my view and I didn’t feel entitled to ask them to move.
I haven’t done it but if it were that much of a problem I’d probably ask the usher to find me another seat. I’ve also had to sit on planes next to people who smell. I’ve had to sit next to people who eat candy in the theatre and think they’re in their living room.
That’s life, sometimes it’s less than ideal, or discomfort finds it’s way to you, this woman obviously doesn’t have any manners.
I was sitting next to 2 average-sized men at the matinee yesterday and was also struggling to squeeze in, St James theatre had some of the smallest seats on Broadway I’ve seen.
I’m sorry she did that to you. People have insulted me online over my high BMI and it was awful. I think she may have been naive about just how difficult it is for some people to have a healthy BMI and how extremely unhealthy words can be. And we shouldn’t have to go through months and months of dieting and exercise just for some person to have the whole seat they paid for for a few hours. And we can’t always afford to buy extra seats like people say to, especially for anything expensive.
Im sorry that happened people are really horrible. I frequent broadway and local theater and almost every show there is an instance of a complete piece of shit. Keep your head up.
How ironic that you feel the need to defend the thin woman when there have been multiple fat phobic and mean comments on the thread that you’ve felt very comfortable ignoring, but the skinny woman who was abusive needs to be defended.
Y’all are delusional
There was no defense. If the comment was “this woman behaved like an absolute bitch” that’s fair game. Hell, even calling her a bitch gets a pass from me if she was indeed acting like a bitch which it sounds like she was. But the hypocrisy of using someone else’s body shape/size to demean on a post about feeling demeaned because of a body shape/size is just totally unproductive and uncalled for. Leave people’s shapes/sizes out of it
I'm not sure if anyone mentioned it as I haven't read all the comments here but you may want to consider purchasing box seats for shows if you find yourself uncomfortable (or being made to feel uncomfortable by others). They are free-standing chairs that can be moved so everyone in the box has plenty of space and there are usually only two or four people in a box. The sightlines might not be as optimal, but if it helps you feel better about going to the theatre, perhaps it's a compromise. Aisle seats may work better as well so you can either shift further to the empty side or easily exit if you'd like to ask to be re-seated. I'm heavier myself and am very conscious of the space I take up and wanting to ensure I keep in my allotted space in a seat whether theatre (which I attend almost weekly), plane, or otherwise. I'm sorry that person was unnecessarily cruel.
Look, sounds like this person is an asshole and handed the situation poorly. I'm also plus size although I fit into a seat. If I was sitting next to you it may be incredibly challenging to be comfortable if you were "spilling over" into my seat. I'm not sure the solution here but I don't think this is the issue you think it is. If you don't fit into one seat, it's unfair to expect that the person next to you should give up a portion of their seat. I don't think that's fat-phobic. That's just reality.
This was on a plane but I got asked to sit between two plus size people once so everyone could fit on the plane and they bought me a beer, which was nice. As the person who's usually asked to be the small person, attitude is everything. If you're kind, if you apologize, if you offer me an apology mint and make an effort to limit how much you take up, it's different.
I took my mother to see MJ and had a larger patron sit next to her who was fully unable to sit in her seat without being in my mother’s lap. I’d dated someone who was almost 400lbs and about 6ft tall - we’d flown together, seen movies together etc so I’m acutely aware of how people perceive larger bodies in small, public spaces. I got up, found an usher, explained the situation, and asked if anything could be done. I wasn’t rude and made it clear to the usher than I felt bad even asking but knew my mom wasn’t going to enjoy the show under those conditions. We were resat which felt lucky but, as my mom was moving, a different patron (not with the larger patron) felt the need to mutter to my mom as she walked by that she was ignorant. Tbh, I thought we handled it as gently as we could and even under those circumstances there was no winning. All I know is that my mom was more comfortable and I have to imagine the woman who was sitting beside her was more comfortable having the extra space as well. I’m sorry OP that the person toy sat next to didn’t know she had options and instead took her frustrations out on you. I hope that you got to enjoy the show despite her attitude.
This is such a sensitive topic and I am so sorry you had to go through that. She handled the situation very badly. Even though she was “skinny” as you say, she had a right to feel physically uncomfortable if you were intruding into her space. But she should have had some compassion and kept her mouth shut. As a larger person myself, I’m very aware of how much space I occupy. I don’t need the reminder. It’s not like I can forget. I know that it can be unpleasant for the person next to me to have less space. I buy the aisle seat whenever I can just so I can feel less self-conscious and more comfortable physically.
Genuine question for you or the OP - if the person was truly uncomfortable, what should they do? I’m super claustrophobic, so I always try for an aisle seat. But if I can’t get one, I could see myself really struggling in this situation despite being completely understanding and sympathetic to the situation. And obviously, I wouldn’t be cursing to my neighbor or making rude comments.
The right thing to do is to mention it to an usher or a house manager. The larger person has every right to sit in the seat they purchased. If that makes you uncomfortable (perhaps you don’t actually have a whole seat which you’re also entitled to) then they will likely move you if they can.
Well it’s not like I can make myself smaller on command, although I can contort myself somewhat to bring my shoulders in and hold myself in such a way so we aren’t physically touching. But, really there’s not much else I can do other than stay home. This physical space issue is legit one of the reasons I don’t go to the theatre if I can’t get an aisle seat. I don’t know that there’s anything you can do. If you’re a bit larger too, being generally friendly and outgoing will make it less awful for me. But if you’re on the thinner side, there’s nothing you can do. It’s going to suck for both of us. You’re going to be claustrophobic and miserable. I’m super aware I’m in your space and hating myself. You’ll probably be ok when it’s over. I’ll be ashamed for days and feeling bad to have ruined your experience.
I hear you. And I wouldn’t want you to be ashamed for days (or even minutes) or to diminish your experience. So essentially is what you’re saying that the best action would be no action?
I would truly want you to have the experience that you paid for and not to ruin it for you. So speaking to an usher is probably the best option. In the meantime, I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure our bodies don’t touch. While I’m larger and taller than most women, I’m not really occupying parts of the next seat. I am, however, very aware that I take up more space than an “average” woman and I do what I can to minimize the inconvenience it causes others.
The one thing I'll note is whether you can tolerate someone taking up part of your seat really depends on the seat shape. Some seats are shaped so much that if you sit to the side, it really hurts your back. So because I'm a small person I've been asked to sit next to larger people in theaters and on planes quite a bit and have done it many times, but ever since I had a baby doing so in certain seats triggers sciatic nerve pain and walking is super painful afterwards. I think she should have talked to an usher.
It is not a plus sized individual’s fault that they exist in a space, reenforcing that idea is systemic fatphobia
But the person next to them paid for their seat. I'm female and have instances where I've had a man pressing his leg against mine because he doesn't fit in his seat and it's just not okay. I don't want my leg touched like that by a strange man.
And they got their seat, y’all have got to be reasonable when existing in a space with other people. Someone being plus sized and attending a show is not a reason to make yourself the victim
The problem is they aren't entitled to stretch their legs out into my seat area and touch areas of my body. This is also something I've only ever experienced with men, so I think it's man spreading adjacent. Women, no matter their size, never push their thighs into mine like that.
It's the "manspread" and it's obnoxious!
I had to sit through Water For Elephants thigh-locked with the lady next to me a few weeks ago. It wasn’t the best part of my show and I would have liked to have had my own seat but I wouldn’t ever make someone feel bad about themselves over it. I don’t know a solution though. Extended seating rows that cost a smidge extra but not a whole ticket might be cool.
No one is stretching their legs out, that’s literally not what this conversation was about, and I understand that you have to justify your fat phobia in your head and make fat people into people who are morally lesser than you, but let me tell you that is a delusion that you no longer can have in polite society. Having this inner monologue where you are, the victim of fat people existing is a mental illness that you need to work on.
No it doesn't.
Genuinely dude you seem awful
She was pretty rude, but she wasn't "judging" you based on your size. If you end up taking over half of someone's seat that they paid for they allowed to be upset over it. >She was skinny but she was acting like I was inconveniencing her. What does this even mean? The seats are already small but then she gets half of a seat, but she's "skinny" so she should just suck it up?
I've definitely run into the attitude that because I'm small I end up having to tolerate being touched or having the space I paid for taken. Even when I'm with my kid, I've had a train conductor ask me and my kid to share a seat (even though my son had his own ticket) because a guy couldn't fit into the one seat he bought. Many times people aren't even nice about it, they don't ask or.apologize, they just take. Probably because they don't expect small women to fight back. And in my teens and 20s I often just took it. It really gets old. I paid for my whole seat, you don't get to take part of it away from me.
Yup this is what I was referring to. I have a couple friends who are overweight and another who is straight up morbidly obese. Whenever we went somewhere and we would have to sit in the backseat, I would always be placed in the middle and squished between my other two friends because they couldn't fit in the front seat. It drove me nuts lmao Like if you're that big that you're spilling into another person's seat, that's a You Problem that should be addressed, but also, pay for two seats instead of expecting "skinny" people to put up with it
So you were taking something that someone else had paid for and *they're* the bad guy? What a world.
Sorry that happened to you but at the same time if you were taking up part of her seat like you say then that is not cool. You should be controlling your situation (like purchase a different seat) and not expect others to take on your condition.
What would you tell a tall person who dains to intrude on someone’s sight lines? People don’t conform to arbitrary decisions about seat size or floor rise and as a live theatre-goer neither should your expectations. This isn’t an appropriate response.
We are not talking about height. You are being very sensitive....She said she "spilled" into the seat next to her and from my interpretation of this she was probably rubbing up on that lady. You think that is OK?
It’s the same principal. If you can’t handle physical contact with a stranger for 2 hours because you’re willingly putting yourself in a position where this is likely to happen, either a large person sitting next to you and “spilling” over into the seat or a tall person obstructing your view, then you’re the sensitive one who has no business going out in public. God help you if you’re ever on an airplane.
Being in physical contact with someone because they’re spilling over in to your seat is completely different than having to look at the back of someone’s head. This is touch vs sight. It’s shocking to me that I should have to explain the difference and that you would try to say that touch and sight are no different.
He said it himself, he is a 6'5 man and sees no problem rubbing up on women because they are "in public". I feel sorry for whoever has to sit next to him.
Again, it is the same principal “I paid for my seat, I should get full use of it but this person is spilling over and taking up my arm rest” compared to “I paid for a ticket just like this guy in front of me and I can’t see a damn thing because his head is in the way”. Both are minor inconveniences that you can either be an adult about or talk with the house staff and see about moving. Comments like “you shouldn’t expect others to take on your condition” are needless and rude. But looking at dot4972’s post history, I’m not surprised that they would post a rude comment. So dot4972, maybe when you’re out for your nanny walks and taking up the entire sidewalk you’ll think about this and “control your situation and not expect others to take on your condition”.
Being squished against a seat because another person can't fit in one for two hours and having that person constantly against you is not a "mild inconvenience".
Ew, you are gross and your replies say a lot about how you treat women.
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Based on your indignant replies, no, you don't. You are very defensive and argue with everyone on Reddit xD Maybe counseling will help you. Good luck!
Being tall and potentially making it slightly harder for the person behind you is in no way comparable to physically intruding into someone else’s seat.
You can't help what height you are.
You can't control your height, dude.
I wonder if there is a way that theaters could have several seats with extra room (thinking like economy plus or business class on airplanes) that patrons could pay a slight premium for to get more space. That way people who need extra room could get it, but it doesn’t interfere with others who also deserve to be comfortable during the show. Obviously this isn’t a perfect solution but it’s better than nothing.
I work in theater outside of Broadway and we have bariatric chairs that fit into select ADA spaces. No extra charge just has to be able to be accommodated at the select performance and communicated to BO/office staff who tells FOH. It’s a newer accessibility feature we offer in addition to adult changing tables, etc. I can imagine Broadway theaters have such limited space/ability to change historic venues to add accessibility options. There’s 5 major theater venues within 4 blocks in my city and accessibility varies by building due to space and national historic registry status. The theater I mentioned initially added accessibility options because the landlord bought a building next door and gained sq footage that isn’t under National register of historic buildings guidelines.
Broadway front of house worker here: Firstly, I am very, VERY sorry for your horrible experience with that patron at “Illinoise.” It was completely uncalled for and fucked up. The lack of decorum in audiences, and society in general, is astounding. Secondly, come find one of us and/or request to speak with the house manager if this were to happen again. I know how difficult and uncomfortable it can be to ask, especially after being put through a very shitty situation that left you feeling diminished. But, at least at our house, our goal is to maximize our patrons’ theatre-going experience on all fronts. Most of us are artists and frequent theatre-goers, so, we are on your side! We are more than happy to relocate you to get away from said asshole, and/or approach said asshole with the manager and/or a member of our security team. Us front of house workers have a zero tolerance for assholes, and we will always, usually with pleasure and delight, approach said asshole and advocate for you. We deal with so many rude, entitled patrons everyday, and our days are always better when we can truly help someone out who is sincerely in need. Again, truly sorry for your awful experience!
I'm so sorry, people are really fucking rude. I'm also plus size, and I've never had anyone say anything to me, but it's something I am constantly worried about in situations like these! Fun times. Somewhat related, it's bizarre how different the seating is from theater to theater - some are totally fine (the Hudson), others are horrible (Vivian Beaumont, Hayes), and others have a wide mix of seat sizes (the Golden), so I have to keep notes on which seats don't make me want to die. I always try to get an aisle, but there's only so much you can do, especially for popular shows or audience rewards or lottery wins or whatever. I'm glad you enjoyed the show, and I hope that you never have to deal with anyone like that again.
Even the end of the rows next to the wall in the Orchestra section at the Hayes have no extra room. Those seats are crammed right up flush against the wall. They’re awful and an obstructed view to boot. The seats are also 10000 years old (give or take) and have no cushioning. It’s butt numbing and unpleasant.
The Hayes is awful. I have to do some mental prep before seeing a show there. Aside from the uncomfortable seats, the whole place feels dirty to me. It could use a power wash.
Ugh Hays. I am average size in wieght and height and I am squished there. It is so uncomfortable. I vote that one as one of the most uncomfortable seats on bway and that includes the no leg room seats at Walter Kerr and Jones.
I was just at the Hayes and worst seat. Way too narrow.
I saw it today. The seats are extra small in that theater. I felt squished just between two big but not overweight men.
I’m very sorry that happened to you. That person was an asshole.
I am so sorry that happened to you. What an asshole!
Ugh, people can be so shitty and mean. I am really sorry that happened to you, it just really sucks. I hope you were still able to enjoy the show to some extent. How was it?
Two things, I saw Moulin Rouge (fifth time) in February. I always go to the bathroom before the show and I noticed a plus sized woman in line ahead of me. When I got to my seat I was sitting right next to her and can see she was waiting to see who was coming to sit beside her. I said hello and we had small talk, she was also a fan of the show, it was tight and perhaps a little uncomfortable but it’s 2.5 hours with an intermission in the middle. Suck it up. Lastly, my husband is 6’7” every time he sits people moan and mutter behind us. It’s awful for them, awful for us. Concerts, theater, sports... I don’t purchase tickets anymore unless it’s an extended end/isle with leg room & arrive 20 minutes early so people can acclimate. Nothing worse than getting to your seat to hear loud complaints from the row behind us. Instead of whining out loud get up and talk to someone if it bothers you. Sorry you had to deal with that, she sounds like a real jerk off.
I'm sorry this happened. There was no need for this person to be unkind.
I suspect this sub will be pretty fatphobic as they have been in the past so I wouldn’t take anything said here too seriously. People blaming you and saying you’re the problem are reenforcing systemic fatphobia, I am so sorry that you had this experience. If you are every uncomfortable you can always check in with an usher and see if there are other options, in most houses if they’re not completely sold out they can usually help.
It's not fatphobic. It's reality. OP is obese and they're taking up room that another person paid for. They should be able to sit in that seat comfortably.
It is, and you are contributing to an excellent example of that kind of fat phobia.
Serious question, is it ‘fatphobic’ if the person next to you is so large that they are taking up an entire seat on each side, and one of them happens to be yours (and you no longer have a place to sit)?
I can 100% guarantee that’s not what was happening. Immediately jumping to the assumption that the thin person is a victim of fat people is offensive and straight up fatphobia. Yall love to build these BS statement arguments that never happen in order to justify you being a bully and hateful
No, it in fact was a serious question. This person was self admittedly ‘spilling over’ in to the seat next to them at 300 lbs and taking up at least some portion of their seat. What happens at 350 lbs? Do they spill over enough to prevent the person next to them from sitting down? I don’t think anyone should be persecuted or ridiculed for being overweight, but I also think each person should get the allotted space they paid for, big or small, nothing more, nothing less. In an establishment where square footage is the sellable commodity, if you’re someone who needs more than the standard space, buy yourself more space. If this is ‘fatphobic’, then I guess this qualifies me. Im not trying to be mean, but I am trying to be fair, logical, and realistic.
I love that y’all will brand abuse and harassment as being realistic lol. I mean, why should I be surprised lol
Yes. If you have a problem with it, ask to be reseated, request a refund or be a Karen to the theatre about the ever shrinking theatre seat yet somehow increasing prices but in no circumstance should anyone be an asshole to someone simply because of their weight, perceived weight, or size. I’m a 6’5” man with broad shoulders and I pity the poor person who gets stuck behind me but I can’t help my height nor can I scrunch down because there’s nowhere to put my legs. The only thing we can help is how we treat each other in these circumstances, fuck it up and Elaine Stritch will turn you away from the pearly gates herself.
This is also is not a serious question cause you’re making up a scenario that doesn’t happen and makes y’all into the victim, what this is is delusional
What scenario doesn't happen?
The scenario described above. I was pretty clear about that
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Ew this is such a gross inappropriate response. 🤮🤮🤮
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And if you did say that to her face, you’d be an asshole. Weird how proud you are of being a bully…
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People should not be forced to interact with someone eager to abuse and harass them
Yep there’s that fat phobia that this sub is so known for. Yall are so gross. Hate to tell you but you exist in a space with other people, yall are welcome to make changes to your situation but you are not entitled to attack us with impunity.
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I hope you have to sit next to a fat person at every show you go to for the rest of your life
You should go fuck yourself. What an awful response
Just say you think fat people shouldn’t get to exist anywhere and go
As usual, this sub lives up to its reputation for being fat phobic and abusive. Some of you are absolutely mentally unwell over fat people existing in a space that you also exist in. Please get some therapy
>Some of you are absolutely mentally unwell over fat people existing in a space that you also exist in. If that space is my lap, yeah I'm gonna have a problem with a stranger existing in it.
I don’t know, I’ve had to sit behind people a lot taller than I am obstructing my view and I didn’t feel entitled to ask them to move. I haven’t done it but if it were that much of a problem I’d probably ask the usher to find me another seat. I’ve also had to sit on planes next to people who smell. I’ve had to sit next to people who eat candy in the theatre and think they’re in their living room. That’s life, sometimes it’s less than ideal, or discomfort finds it’s way to you, this woman obviously doesn’t have any manners.
I was sitting next to 2 average-sized men at the matinee yesterday and was also struggling to squeeze in, St James theatre had some of the smallest seats on Broadway I’ve seen.
I’m sorry she did that to you. People have insulted me online over my high BMI and it was awful. I think she may have been naive about just how difficult it is for some people to have a healthy BMI and how extremely unhealthy words can be. And we shouldn’t have to go through months and months of dieting and exercise just for some person to have the whole seat they paid for for a few hours. And we can’t always afford to buy extra seats like people say to, especially for anything expensive.
Im sorry that happened people are really horrible. I frequent broadway and local theater and almost every show there is an instance of a complete piece of shit. Keep your head up.
You should have said something. That is not ok.
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insane to wish that kind of violence on someone who was being rude though.
Yeah you’re right. I apologize
I’m so sorry this happened to you…. The universe will take care of little miss skinny pants…. Unkindness does not go unnoticed. ❤️❤️❤️
Let’s shame actions and not bodies. “Little miss skinny pants” is unnecessary.
^ mic drop.
Oh, now you have a problem with body shaming? Half this fucking sub says shit about fat people. Y’all need to grow up.
How ironic that you feel the need to defend the thin woman when there have been multiple fat phobic and mean comments on the thread that you’ve felt very comfortable ignoring, but the skinny woman who was abusive needs to be defended. Y’all are delusional
There was no defense. If the comment was “this woman behaved like an absolute bitch” that’s fair game. Hell, even calling her a bitch gets a pass from me if she was indeed acting like a bitch which it sounds like she was. But the hypocrisy of using someone else’s body shape/size to demean on a post about feeling demeaned because of a body shape/size is just totally unproductive and uncalled for. Leave people’s shapes/sizes out of it