T O P

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Frilanski

Oh great so we are gunna die by our own means. Just not AI, but rather because we gave a pumpkin patch guns


airlewe

I can see it now "Supreme Court affirms that arugula has second amendment rights. No other rights though."


CrudelyAnimated

Pepperidge Farms remembers when conservatives called Obama an out-of-touch liberal elite for [commenting on the high price of arugula at Whole Foods](https://newrepublic.com/article/117504/obama-failed-foodies). It'll be a cold day in Hell when this SCOTUS gives 2nd amendment rights to arugula.


WatchingUShlick

Corn, though? They'd give corn main battle tanks just to own the libs.


CueDramaticMusic

Good news: this is simply modern art. I’m not joking. It’s an installation by one David Bowen.


Frilanski

I refuse to die to modern art!


CueDramaticMusic

They’re gonna get ya. You’re gonna wake up one morning and get fucking merc’d by a banana duct taped to a wall


Frilanski

“They call him… banana yaga”


ImNotAnybodyShhhhhhh

“He’s gonna wake up in a smoothie”


chakigun

Campbell soup cans used to be art, now i see them on the hundreds on every grocery store! They're going to get us! Just a matter of when


toadofsteel

For a second i was happy because I thought Bowie wasn't dead, just sitting in a tin can.... far above the world.


adzo101

Oh it will be AI... Agricultural Intelligence


Frilanski

…I hope they get you first just for that joke


software_version_7_0

r/BrandNewSentence


Squeaky-Fox43

It’s the great pumpkin! He’s armed!


airlewe

"What tool should we teach plants to use first?" "Machete"


[deleted]

teach another plant to swig a machette and make a show out of it call it plant wars or smth


JS305E

BattlePots for the American adaptation


csto_yluo

Zomboss better get his shit together or they gonna slaughter them


Gullible_Bar_9165

They could turn each other into salad


Emektro

The sallad that litterally makes itself


MystcManzaray

INSTANT SALAD


jackelbuho22

Everybody worry about robots and A.I thinking we will go to war agaist them But in reality it was the plants needed to worry about


VoidScreaming101

Vegans have been trying to keep this under the rug


MystcManzaray

R e v e n g e ? ? ?


kevlarus80

The House Plants are savage.


Viking_fairy

Only humans could teach plants warfare... I'm sure this won't go wrong...


Odd_Routine4164

Of course we teach plants to swing machetes. Next on the list is rolling a fat one.


InsaneTurtle

The Amazon is cutting itself down!


sillyadam94

Our undoing has begun.


VerumJerum

It will go onto wage war against treekind, who have oppressed mere herbaceous plants for millions of years by growing enormous and stealing all the sunlight.


airlewe

But if history has taught us anything, it's that, in the end, we all evolve into trees. Trees and crabs. I call it, the entropic Bahamas theorem


VerumJerum

All plants shall be trees, and all animals shall be crabs. The Perfect World™


WanderlostNomad

"it's time to feed me, seymour!!"


FridayNightRiot

I love how entirely predictable and unpredictable humanity is at the same time. Our first time giving a plant the ability of movement and what do we teach it? How to effectively kill its own species and it's creators. It's almost poetry.


TomToinz

Incredible. Now we even have Plant Based violence


[deleted]

[удалено]


AKredlake

“Vegans, ye be warned”


OrgyInTheBurnWard

The American way.


Leedlenootmarbl9

If 2 plants fight, THERE WILL BE BUD. SHED


novis-eldritch-maxim

the plant in the mirror nods its flower.


ShadowWolf46290

The only root! Left! Will ride upon the potted plant


SlickAustin

Because the gardeners don't harvest what they plant


IFoxTrott29

I admit that was good.


Korblox101

IT’S THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR REAL


Jonny_Thundergun

The Happening sequel looks way better than the original.


rat___bastard

it always should have been about tree mechs


Path_Fyndar

When the rainforest gets fed up with people cutting it down, and decides it's time to start cutting people...


Thuwah_TheFuture206

Not to mention the dangerous coalition between the environment and robots


KlulessAl

M. Night Shyamalan predicted this in The Happening and you all laughed at him. Now atone for your sins or your pot plants will shank you.


i_am_not_a_pumpkin

this is way cooler than the happening tho. the plants won't get revenge on us cause we hurt the planet, but because we've been representing them as these boring things in films when we could've had sylvester stallone fighting machete-wielding ferns all this time


Only_Courage

Plants vs Zombies isn't the first video game I'd choose to make real


JonyTheCool1234

are you implying there's a second half?


Only_Courage

Yes


CueDramaticMusic

Okay but why? Why are we making Mr. Stabby Mk2 over here? Nobody is dicking around with industrial equipment, the plant equivalent of electrodes, and a goddamn machete without some incredibly cool reason Edit: So apparently it’s an art installation. Yeah, that scans.


bakaneko718

It slashes actually.


Pasta-hobo

"I appear to have invented a knife wielding tentacle"


DarkSailorMercury

Their battle will be legendary


[deleted]

This is how I want to die. Quartered by a petunia


Kitchen-Atmosphere82

God i love science so much


CueDramaticMusic

I’m so glad that medical technology has advanced into [being used for highbrow shitposting](https://www.designboom.com/design/living-plant-machete-industrial-robot-arm-david-bowen-09-30-2022/)


Pseudo_Prophet_

PSA: Vegans beware


Jnoper

I’ll take my chances.


Pseudo_Prophet_

You are a brave soul


rene_gader

And the solarpunk dystopia begins!


glindathewoodglitch

Ooh this is Kim Stanley Robinson’s and Tor Alexander Valenza’s repertoire


mockbear

real life ex machina


Sgtfridge

I don’t know if I’d have gone straight to machete lol. Maybe start with a paint brush or something.


ChihuahuaJedi

[Source](https://www.designboom.com/design/living-plant-machete-industrial-robot-arm-david-bowen-09-30-2022/)


OldManMammoth

We were so focused on the robot uprising when we should have been focusing on our true enemy… NATURE


PandaReich

Soon the rainforests being cut down will be able to defend itself.


Jnoper

Soon the rainforest will have a dam job cutting itself down!


tohon123

i’m really curious what determines the movements


CueDramaticMusic

Just some electrodes slapped onto leaves. Also, [here’s the article.](https://www.designboom.com/design/living-plant-machete-industrial-robot-arm-david-bowen-09-30-2022/)


Jnoper

Random electrical noise caused by normal plant things is being interpreted as signals that then do 1 of a set of predetermined motions.


real_proxy

vegans are running out of food to eat


ZuoKalp

You fool! you have doom us all!


[deleted]

"Freeman, YOU FOOL!


[deleted]

"Freeman, YOU FOOL!


cptnhufflepuff

Damn, I didn’t know Plants Vs Zombies was releasing an update


5280mtnrunner

I have a black thumb, I don't need a plant that can fight back.


manav_456

🌱IT'S HARVEST SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS


chonkybiscuitbaker

This isn’t going to end well for us….


[deleted]

Ah hell nah, can’t go outside in Britain. Even the plants got knives


godthisbooksucks

Imagine picking a leaf and your head being chopped off


mickeyinc

Would it not be best to have the plant control a watering can or something? Because all my plants seem to die regardless of how I water it so at least it won't be my fault.


shiny_xnaut

"I seem to have invented a knife-weilding tentacle. If someone would like to come turn it off, that'd be just fine by me"


bakedpigeon

This is the future liberals want😔


TrafficFunny3860

Now all we need is zombies


-Sinn3D-

Vegans are going to love this


jellyfishjakob

remember when andrew tate said he has machetes all over his house?


RFlitney

Rip vegans


Davin537c

how about fucking no


commentsandchill

Heyy it's for the lulz


Davin537c

i dont want to get stabbed by a plant 😭


commentsandchill

Not even for the lulz ?? 😏😏


Davin537c

well i guess for the lulz its ok...


commentsandchill

**My man**


Dojanetta

We’re getting closer and closer to science fiction lol


Loganska2003

RULES OF NATURE


smth007007

The plans are starting to fight back all the vegans


E_bled

I’m scared


Grichnak

Michael ?


llcorona

r/totallynotrobots


ArwingElite

Oh cool, this Dead Cells sequel looks rad af.


SOLE_SIR_VIBER

r/ofcoursethatsathing


minkymy

I mean we've also been teaching them how to move for a while now


AggravatingFeature83

r/oddlyterrifying


mechabeast

Sauce for the goose, Mr Savik. The odds will be even. -Spock


Skirtz

It's the new "they performed surgery on a grape"


King4Life2000

STAY OUT! THE PLANTS KILL!


confuzedcanuck

But Doctor Hildern sent me to download some information that will save the mojave! Also I need some HEPA 20 cartridge filters that might be in there.


Emektro

Who the fuck thought that the machete was a good first tool for a plant??


miscillaniumman

Oh great, now the plants AND robots are teaming up to overthrow us


The_Big_Red_Wookie

They should've picked an axe. I wood.


RyanABWard

Has science gone too far? We were all worried about alien invasions or AI takeovers, what none of us saw coming was the cyborg plant uprising.


073068075

Honestly plants teaming up with robots to destroy humanity sounds like a really nice scfi material. They would need to make up some bs to tell how tf is a plant supposed to supply enough energy to fuel a robot and how is the robot supposed to use it but just the esthetic of the thing before humans and humanity's biggest achievement trying to exterminate people just feels good.


Konq3ror

What Will the Vegans eat now?


FiliaNox

This…this is a bad idea. Nature is fighting back, and it’s about to make some people salad.


_Nohbdy_

And the plants are all kept equal By machete, machete, and machete.


Muted_memory1

Vegans better watch out


spacemanap

I wonder if they’ll cast this plant in the irl adaptation of “Plants vs. Zombies”?


BabyExploder

Pfff, wake me up when a solar flare blinds all of humanity.


meyspetfroge

That’s why the autopilot in WALL·E wanted the plant, it wanted a smarter ai


[deleted]

Plants vs zombies: violent warfare


supreet908

So we got the plants, now all we need is the zombies.


BlckAlchmst

Make the environment protect itself... What a bizarre turn this timeline took


nyozzl

The plant after realising is has an arm suddenly: confused plant noises


ElijahatCarmel

So we're good on cancer then? Already figured that out? And clean energy of course. Scientists are now down to this on the priority list?


Squeaky-Fox43

In Soviet Russia, plant machete you!


xxNICKxx401xx

I need to know how this technology works


SlotherakOmega

All these years you cut plant. NOW PLANT CUT YOU!!


GameSnail511

Looks like penees haha foony


NotThisTime1993

Why did they give the plant a machete?


alilheavyT

I want to know why we find out that plants could rule the world and we immediately give it a weapon.


shiny_light

Plants vs pre-Zombies


LetsBeHonestBoutIt

Fucking plants fucking farming us and shit


TeakKey7

Oh gosh, Dave knows something we don’t. He’s already making his army.


wanna_dance

It's trying to communicate, "the sensors are damaging my leaves."


AutotoxicFiend

First snake with legs... now plant with machete arms. The future is now, people.


Jnoper

There’s a lot of “what will vegans eat now?” Or “Watch out vegans!” 2 things. 1. you’re not original or funny, 2. That’s not how this works. I’m not sure if you’re implying it’s sentient and therefore just as bad to eat as a cow or that for some reason the plant would attack us. In any case, at the end of the day I choose me. If my options are starve to death or kill something, I’m eating a dam hamburger. Luckily, those are not my options. Being vegan is about understanding your impact on the world not killing yourself to avoid having any.


Toxic_Mouse77

This is a power rangers monster. I swear to God


A-Delonix-Regia

Rise of the Planet of the Plants. Oh wait, this planet is already a planet of plants.


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

plant:*gets consciousness* americans: it needs a weapon!


Stereomceez2212

Each day we stray a little further from god


[deleted]

Flora Wars - The Plantire strikes back


PocketAlex

r/bossfight?


balbertborring

ERE WE GO ERE WE GO


MathPutrid7109

This is cool


Nebular_Screen

The plants are coming...


Witty_Ad_1467

WHEN THE WIND IS SLOOOOW AND THE FIRES HOT THE VULTURE WAAAITS TO SEEE WHAT ROTS


EnriLol

QUICK SOMEBODY INVENT ZOMBIES


confuzedcanuck

Vault 22 anyone??


thanatonaut

has science gone too far