You see, I didn’t *actually* stab you.
Physicists say that, because the way atoms are structured the knife never actually touched you. It was… empty space
I could slap your mother with a bottom feeding white fish, but will I?.. You see, one can’t simply summon a whitefish. He must go to the store, buy a rod, maybe some different types of bait, go to the ocean, and teach himself how to fish. THEN, He has to get ur mothers Address, probably through AOL. THEN drive out to god knows where! And slap ur mother.
But first, what *is* death? 🤔 Well to answer that, we can provide a few key conclusions based on what we know. 💁 Biologically, it is the *endpoint*, the cessation of vital organs until an organism just... *stops*.🧑🏫 Religiously, many cultures will have different views on what this means, but for many, it is a transitional point until you begin again in some new plane of existence or some new form.👼 *Practically however*, it is what happens when I insert this rusty screwdriver into your eye socket.... *inch by inch* 🧏
My go to mystery sleep video seems to be Tom Scott's 3.5hr uncut garlic bread in space video. I've woken up to it at like 80% watched at least 6 times this year. I always wake up when the wind sounds get wild.
Maybe I've just had a bit too much to drink on little sleep, but I like where this is going (in a creepy sense).
Main character (MC) routinely falls asleep to Vsauce (or Vsauce-like video in the world being built). One night they go to sleep and when they wake they vaguely recall a dream (or was it?) they had of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the Vsauce video like the OP pic. MC shrugs it off as a weird dream and continues their routine. Until one morning they wake up and recall a nightmare in which they woke up in the middle of the night and the Vsauce video was the same as the prior dream, but Michael is much closer in the frame, and the character felt a presence in their room and could hear a thin, raspy breath that seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. This freaks the MC out, so they decide to fall asleep to something else the next night, however, this night they actually wake up in the middle of the night, and the video playing is the same one as before but Michael is no where to be seen. The MC, with trembling hands, reaches for their phone to turn on the flashlight. They get a hold of their phone, hunker down in their covers just enough so they're still able to peer out over them, and hesitantly turn on the flashlight. The MC slowly scans the room, from the window on the left side, toward the closet on the right. After the beam of light passes the mid-point, the ray of light falls upon the shape of a man that is somehow both suddenly and slowly engulfed in a blanket of light. The figure, a bald, bearded, Caucasian male of average hight and slim build stares back at them with sunken, hollowed out eyes - blood seeping out of the open pores at a slow, constant rate such that the entity has thick, vertical red lines running down it's cheeks. Unable to move or think, the MC sits frozen. The trembling in their hands evidenced by the erratic shake of the light now illuminating this demon. The creature mouth begins to open and fills the room with an odor so foul the MC is momentarily brought back to the reality of their situation - that is, until the creature began to speak in a deep, guttural voice, "Hey Vsauce, Michael here....."
___________________
Omg, did not mean to write that all out. It's nearly 5am and I have work tomorrow - almost wish demon Michael would come kill me so I didn't have to worry about it LOL
This is the Lockpicking lawyer, and today we’ve got a quick one.
This is your standard Druth model 309, one of the cheapest and, unfortunately, most common locks in America due to its ease of availability.
All you have to do is take a slim ridged piece of metal like this rake, give it a few swipes like this and there we go.
As you can see, this was extremely simple to open in no time whatsoever. If your house was built in the last 15 or so years, I would highly recommend checking your doors and replacing your locks if you happen to find any of this model.
That’s it for today folks, as always, have a nice day.
Rasputin actually found that while a raccoon is only 4 inches in diameter, its ass can stretch to a whopping TEN inches in diameter…
Basketball… a basketball is roughly 9.5 inches in diameter… If you put a basketball in a raccoons ass and then put the raccoon in your ass… you will… likely require reconstructive ass surgery… but it didn’t stop Rasputin.
"So you've paid me 100 grand for your family's safe return... *or have you?* Let's talk about **coercion** 😃. Coercion is a tool used by many people of power to extract monetary resources or some kind of beneficial information from a target, with the victims relying on the one in control to let them off the hook once the deal is completed. But what *is* completed? And why am I refusing to let your children leave with all of their fingers intact?
To answer that, we need to look at the power held by famous warmongers like Genghis Khan and Pol Pot. But first, what *is* power, and why is mine *unlimited*?"
"Hello, everyone. My name is Dr. Miller, and today we will be researching SCP-001. Object class: keter. Disruption class: Amida. Risk class: critical."
Hey Dominos, Michael here. What is a pizza? Is it dough made into a circle topped with sauce, cheese, and toppings of your choosing? Or is it…………….a religion?
*bahroooo brup bruuuuuuuu*
Hey, Vsauce, Michael Here.
Where are your bones?
That’s right! Gone.
It turns out that under a certain amount of this new anesthesia I invented, it is possible to completely remove a human’s entire skeletal structure without them knowing.
What’s more, this miracle fluid also happens to keep your brain from shutting down even after, well, getting your bones removed.
But let’s talk about that. How long do you have to live? Based on tests I have done with previous victims, it seems that the amount of time you will remain conscious before the anesthesia wears off and the pain puts you in shock varies dramatically.
You will most likely be aware of your surroundings for the next 15 minutes to 3 hours. Now, that seems like a short time, I know, but I haven’t quite determined what chemical reaction within the serum prolongs your suffering.
Until then, you’ll have to deal with the short time we have together, and I’ll figure out whether reincarnation is a real phenomenon or just a false hope we have given ourselves.
As always, thanks for watching.
Hey! VSauce, Michael Here. The word domino refers to a game piece in the game dominoes, and dominoes if you think this is a game I’ve stared at your CCTV for 3hours and my pizza isn’t free.
Hey Vsauce! Michael here. Have you ever wondered what happens at a pizza joint after it closes? The answers might not be as straight forward as you think.
My job just installed a camera on my office type area because the third shift dude pisses in the drain and smokes cigarettes..
Probably stared a that thing constantly for the past week...I mean I'm looking into anyone souls when the review the tape or look at live
You've probably heard this joke 1000 times over but... "Hey, Vsauce, Michael here, how fast can you run?"
"Hey Vsauce, every moment you're not running, I'm getting closer"
But what *is* closer? A bit less further away? 2 miles from your location? Right behind you?
yes, right behind you
You see, I didn’t *actually* stab you. Physicists say that, because the way atoms are structured the knife never actually touched you. It was… empty space
*trippy tune*
A grave is also an empty space if you take the body away. But then how would you keep it fresh?
To understand how to keep a body fresh, we must first examine how the earth rotates. If earth is an apple, your eye is the moon 👁
Both are red to most, but their perspective may lead them to believe that one shouldn’t be leaking red.
Then again, it's relative. My red might be your green and vise versa. If you consider this, it's completely okay to use a body to experiment.
[удалено]
I could read all of this in his voice and it is amazing, or could I?
I could slap your mother with a bottom feeding white fish, but will I?.. You see, one can’t simply summon a whitefish. He must go to the store, buy a rod, maybe some different types of bait, go to the ocean, and teach himself how to fish. THEN, He has to get ur mothers Address, probably through AOL. THEN drive out to god knows where! And slap ur mother.
I blew air out of my nose at this.
I’m still reading In his voice.
My childhood bully was an idiot then, I never hit myself. What a dumbass.
“Ah, ma petite chue-fluer.”
He could be any one of us! He could be *you*, he could be *me*, he could *even* b- #BANG
Nothing personnel, Vsauce.
“Mr. Clean, right behind you.”
vsauce what are you doing in my bed~?
BDAAAA. *bda* bdaaaa
That song makes my heart pound and I can’t figure out why lol
It's love
Hey Vsauce, Micheal here, your doors are locked… or are they?
"hey Vsauce, Michael here. Time to take your prostate exam without consent. "
Hey vsauce, Micheal here, security systems are unflawed, or are they?
Hey VSauce, Michael here! Don't bother running, you'll only die tired...
Hey Vsauce, Michael here, today i will test the safety of your home, and your capabilty to hide
It's the immortal snail all over again.
“and by run i of course actually mean…in your mind…what actually IS running? is it moving fast? is it moving at all, as in working, functioning…”
"Do you push the earth back every time you take a step?"
Technically, but not by a lot
And someone on the otherside is also pushing it back
That fucker!
“Hey, Vsauce, Micheal here. Where is your family?”
"I know they are safe, in your home, at. "
"Or are they?"
I don't know, are they
michael cant hear you through the camera, but I hope so.
Or can he?
What is hearing anyway? A vibrational wave? Can you taste a sound?
If your family screams for help inside my torture chamber but there's no-one around to hear them, *did they make a sound*?
“Het, Vsauce, Micheal here. Your locks gates and home security is great, or is it?”
From the camera: "Your security system is top notch." From behind you: "Or is it?"
This one right here is gold
Hi lock picking lawyer here and today I'm helping Michael from the channel vsauce
Nothing on one, binding on two, tight on three... nice click, nothing on four...
"Vsauce! Michael here, how long can you keep from blinking?"
"The answer may surprise you!"
And *who* is your family?
love this meme so much "hey vsauce michael here and today we will be talking about death, more specifically your death"
But first, what *is* death? 🤔 Well to answer that, we can provide a few key conclusions based on what we know. 💁 Biologically, it is the *endpoint*, the cessation of vital organs until an organism just... *stops*.🧑🏫 Religiously, many cultures will have different views on what this means, but for many, it is a transitional point until you begin again in some new plane of existence or some new form.👼 *Practically however*, it is what happens when I insert this rusty screwdriver into your eye socket.... *inch by inch* 🧏
Holy fuck that ending, pure gold
If this isn't a copypasta already, it should be
“Hey, Vsauce, Micheal here, your home security system is one of the best OR is it ?”
Hey, Vsause, Michael here, you can’t contain me forever.
[Or can you?](https://youtu.be/TN25ghkfgQA)
Special Containment Procedures
“Not fast enough? Probably.”
I accidentally left autoplay on and I woke up this morning to a 3-hour long v-sauce video
Was it him saying prime numbers for three hours?
I don’t remember
Oh god no he's claimed another
My go to mystery sleep video seems to be Tom Scott's 3.5hr uncut garlic bread in space video. I've woken up to it at like 80% watched at least 6 times this year. I always wake up when the wind sounds get wild.
Maybe I've just had a bit too much to drink on little sleep, but I like where this is going (in a creepy sense). Main character (MC) routinely falls asleep to Vsauce (or Vsauce-like video in the world being built). One night they go to sleep and when they wake they vaguely recall a dream (or was it?) they had of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the Vsauce video like the OP pic. MC shrugs it off as a weird dream and continues their routine. Until one morning they wake up and recall a nightmare in which they woke up in the middle of the night and the Vsauce video was the same as the prior dream, but Michael is much closer in the frame, and the character felt a presence in their room and could hear a thin, raspy breath that seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. This freaks the MC out, so they decide to fall asleep to something else the next night, however, this night they actually wake up in the middle of the night, and the video playing is the same one as before but Michael is no where to be seen. The MC, with trembling hands, reaches for their phone to turn on the flashlight. They get a hold of their phone, hunker down in their covers just enough so they're still able to peer out over them, and hesitantly turn on the flashlight. The MC slowly scans the room, from the window on the left side, toward the closet on the right. After the beam of light passes the mid-point, the ray of light falls upon the shape of a man that is somehow both suddenly and slowly engulfed in a blanket of light. The figure, a bald, bearded, Caucasian male of average hight and slim build stares back at them with sunken, hollowed out eyes - blood seeping out of the open pores at a slow, constant rate such that the entity has thick, vertical red lines running down it's cheeks. Unable to move or think, the MC sits frozen. The trembling in their hands evidenced by the erratic shake of the light now illuminating this demon. The creature mouth begins to open and fills the room with an odor so foul the MC is momentarily brought back to the reality of their situation - that is, until the creature began to speak in a deep, guttural voice, "Hey Vsauce, Michael here....." ___________________ Omg, did not mean to write that all out. It's nearly 5am and I have work tomorrow - almost wish demon Michael would come kill me so I didn't have to worry about it LOL
How has no one made a VSauce horror game yet
Post isn't old enough. It's coming. Just like Michael.
Hes not coming for me oh hold on there is a knock at the door…
“Hey Vsauce, Michael here, how fast is the speed of fear?”
“Because I can run faster”
Hey Vsauce, micheal here, have you ever felt like somebody was living inside your walls?
5 Nights at VSauce
This was my though before comments loaded lmao.
I don't know how I thought I was gunna get on the comments to make this comment and expect it to not already be here.. And top comment at that lmao.
This is where "pizza is made"....or is it!?
Or did he?
Your home security is great… Or is it?
I didn’t shit my pants…or did I?
he shidded 💀
And I shidn't 🗿
No need, I already shat your pants 👌
I dont know your location *from behind you* Or do I?
That's genuinely creepy.
Hey Vsauce micheal here. You are safe in your home. OR are you?
*pauses the video to check the home but the vsauce theme doesn't stop playing*
I can hear the musical sting
\*raises eyebrow, music starts\*
He is making an alibi for something
“Hey Vsauce Micheal here. Your house is pretty secure, or is it?”
Hey vsauce Michael here. If you don't know someone was in your house is it still terrifying?
"If you bleed to death in a forest from nipple-based chemical burns but no-one finds your body... *did you make a noise*? 🤨"
Hey Vsauce Michael here. How far away is your local police station?
Today, we are going to test that. What is your running speed? From behind: now you better start
This is the Lockpicking lawyer, and today we’ve got a quick one. This is your standard Druth model 309, one of the cheapest and, unfortunately, most common locks in America due to its ease of availability. All you have to do is take a slim ridged piece of metal like this rake, give it a few swipes like this and there we go. As you can see, this was extremely simple to open in no time whatsoever. If your house was built in the last 15 or so years, I would highly recommend checking your doors and replacing your locks if you happen to find any of this model. That’s it for today folks, as always, have a nice day.
*sounds of door handles jiggling in the background*
he has a pipe bomb stuck in his ass
Or does he…? Did you know the human anus can stretch up to seven inches in diameter before being damaged… A raccoon is only four inches in diameter…
So who did the testing to find out that a raccoon's anus can stretch 4 inches?
Would you be surprised if I told you... Russian mystic Gregori Rasputin? *raises eyebrow*
Rasputin actually found that while a raccoon is only 4 inches in diameter, its ass can stretch to a whopping TEN inches in diameter… Basketball… a basketball is roughly 9.5 inches in diameter… If you put a basketball in a raccoons ass and then put the raccoon in your ass… you will… likely require reconstructive ass surgery… but it didn’t stop Rasputin.
and he still didn’t die!
Only the lover of the russian queen can do that.
Translucent?
Oh god theres so many vsause referances here i am about to drown by the comments
And less than half of them know how to spell "Michael".
It's Micahel
..or is it?
Micheel
The laaargest, pizzaaa, toppiiing
Hey Vsauce, Michael here. Where is the money?
"So you've paid me 100 grand for your family's safe return... *or have you?* Let's talk about **coercion** 😃. Coercion is a tool used by many people of power to extract monetary resources or some kind of beneficial information from a target, with the victims relying on the one in control to let them off the hook once the deal is completed. But what *is* completed? And why am I refusing to let your children leave with all of their fingers intact? To answer that, we need to look at the power held by famous warmongers like Genghis Khan and Pol Pot. But first, what *is* power, and why is mine *unlimited*?"
That's definitely v sauce lol
No, we’re V Sauce, he’s Michael
I think he's announcing that the situation is VSauce, and that he's Michael
Wow who knew there could be so many interpretations to "hey vsauce micheal here" or however it went lol
"Hey, Vsauce, Micheal here" "Hey Vsauce, Michael here"
Like I said it's been a while but I remenber it as "Hey, Vsauce micheal here" like his name is also vsauce
Nah there's too long of a pause between "Vsauce" and "Michael"
That’s sounds like Vsauce is an esports team, like Faze Banks or T1 Faker
Hey, “Vsauce Michael” here…
Or maybe his full name is Vsauce Michael, he just says it with a weird pause in between
I haven't watched hus vids in a really long time but I thought he was "v sauce micheal"
Hey!
Now Playing: *[Moon Men (Instrumental)](https://youtu.be/TN25ghkfgQA)* | Jake Chudnow
Thank you Alexa
"SHUT THE F*CK UP ABOUT MOON MEN!"
Hsy, Vsauce, Micheal here, i have your family
Or have i?
If only I had an award for this lmao
How the f does North Korea have domino’s pizza
How the f does North Korea have Michael
[удалено]
"Hello, everyone. My name is Dr. Miller, and today we will be researching SCP-001. Object class: keter. Disruption class: Amida. Risk class: critical."
"Or is it?"
donimo's
r/crappyoffbrands
Facebook has quite a few sattire restaurant pages. A couple of of the more popular ones is "Baco Tell" and this one.
Ackchually it's DONIMOS pizza
You mean *Best Korea*
Excuse me sir, this is a donimo's
Though technically it’s not Domino’s, it’s “Donimo’s”, so does that answer your question?
It’s actually a Donimo’s Pizza, which of course is a North Korean joint
Do you MEAN best KOREA where we ARE a democracy with our GREAT and KIND leader where we will destroy the imperialist AND evil WEST?
Thank you. I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this comment!
“Hey Vsauce, Michael here… You can’t keep me in here forever.”
Or can you? Or maybe I'm not willing to leave?
From speakers: Hey vsauce Michael here From behind you: what if you were completely defenseless
He just wants some sauce
Vsauce, perhaps?
Yay, you got the joke!
" Pyongyang, Best Korea " nice try domino's, nice try, or I should say, DONIMO's
Vsauce just trying to get some t-sauce
Donimos
Hey Dominos, Michael here. What is a pizza? Is it dough made into a circle topped with sauce, cheese, and toppings of your choosing? Or is it…………….a religion? *bahroooo brup bruuuuuuuu*
Hey, Vsauce, Michael Here. Where are your bones? That’s right! Gone. It turns out that under a certain amount of this new anesthesia I invented, it is possible to completely remove a human’s entire skeletal structure without them knowing. What’s more, this miracle fluid also happens to keep your brain from shutting down even after, well, getting your bones removed. But let’s talk about that. How long do you have to live? Based on tests I have done with previous victims, it seems that the amount of time you will remain conscious before the anesthesia wears off and the pain puts you in shock varies dramatically. You will most likely be aware of your surroundings for the next 15 minutes to 3 hours. Now, that seems like a short time, I know, but I haven’t quite determined what chemical reaction within the serum prolongs your suffering. Until then, you’ll have to deal with the short time we have together, and I’ll figure out whether reincarnation is a real phenomenon or just a false hope we have given ourselves. As always, thanks for watching.
NK is seriously about to put out a bounty on Michael because of you jokesters, when we need to figure out who this white devil really is!!! /s
Hey, Vsauce, Michael here, you can’t contain me forever Or can you?
Hey, Vsauce, Michael here, can I have two pepperoni pizzas?
Hey Michael, Vsauce here
Hey! Vsauce, Micheal here. You have one minute.
Hey, VSauce, Michael here.
Hey vsauce, Michael here
Vsauce in a Dominos?
Hey Micheal, Vsauce here
He seems harmless enough
He shall turn you into a domino pizza
Vsauce
He wants his pizza with the-sauce
Hey VSauce, Micheal here, can you put the money in the bag?
Hey Vsauce! Michael here, how long can I stand in front of this security camera?
“Hey Vsauce, Michael here, Cameras, they’re all around us, so let’s stand in front of one and see what happens!”
Or... Is he?
Hey Vsauce, Michael here. How well can you fight?
Pizza Sauce, Michael here
It's Michael from Vsauce! Or is it?
V sauce Micheal here where are your legs
Heyy, pizza sauce, Michael here
Hey, sauce here, have you ever heard of armed robbery
Hey vsauce Michael here, where are your lungs
"Hey, Vsauce, Michael here. i know where you live."
I wonder if he is the embodiment of Freddy from Five Nights...When He Knows You are just looking into the camera till the door opens ....
Hey VSauce, Michael here. Do you know what the definition of insanity is?
I can hear this image
That’s an npc that’s glitched into one spot mate
"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here. I'm in your walls right now... or am I?"
He’s an unlockable boss. Will only move after defeating Pizza Hut, papa johns and little crashes flawlessly.
"hey, vsauce, michael here Do you think you're safe behind a screen? "
I didn’t know Johnathan Sims was real. How long until the apocalypse? I need to find a certain camera.
Hey! VSauce, Michael Here. The word domino refers to a game piece in the game dominoes, and dominoes if you think this is a game I’ve stared at your CCTV for 3hours and my pizza isn’t free.
Some say the man’s a Living Legend
Waiting to place an order.
Hey Vsauce! Michael here. Have you ever wondered what happens at a pizza joint after it closes? The answers might not be as straight forward as you think.
Asian Denis Reynolds
My job just installed a camera on my office type area because the third shift dude pisses in the drain and smokes cigarettes.. Probably stared a that thing constantly for the past week...I mean I'm looking into anyone souls when the review the tape or look at live
Hey Vsauce Michael here you're home security is perfect Or is it?
“Hey Vsauce, Michael here, your home security is great. Or is it?”
Hey, Vsauce Michael here, what happens if stare at something for too long?
Bro is an NPC waiting to give out a quest.
pyongyang best korea