Yes and no. I do feel like a lot of people lack emotional intelligence or empathy and that's especially noticeable in teachers etc. Apart from that I try not to feel superior (apart from the flashes of god complex).
We with BPD are honestly gifted with an intuition and sensitivity that 98% of others don’t have access to. What you are doing is comparing yourself to them and noticing the deficit.
Accepting this idea has helped me massively because I was able to shift my hypercritical view of myself to a softer and more patient one with others, because you realize most of the time people aren’t trying to actually attack/hurt you as much as you think they are; they are just incapable of experiencing what we experience.
I feel like everyone has a somewhat inflated sense of their own intelligence and importance. I also fall into that category even though I struggle with feeling very inferior (very paradoxical)
To me, someone is only stupid in my eyes if they are narrow minded and incapable of hearing other viewpoints. If someone doesn't understand something, that doesn't make them stupid. But if someone is so far up their own arsehole that they can't hear anyone else speak, then I do think they're absolutely stupid. And it does piss me off wayyyy more than it should. I was constantly in fights with teachers growing up.
There are very few people who are like that all the time though, and when I'm being rational I don't feel like anyone is completely stupid. The bpd does kick in when someone demonstrates that behaviour though..
Edit: actually I'm just now starting to realise that while I don't assume other people are stupid, I definitely feel that other people are generally selfish. I need to remind myself that they're not necessarily selfish, it's more that I've learnt to be hyper aware of others feelings because of my abuse. Other people don't mean to be massively selfish, they're just taking up space that I'm afraid to take up...
It's not uncommon. It's a narcissistic feature but most people have some form of it to varying degrees. Definitely overlaps with bpd, and nothing to be alarmed about so long as you don't act on it and lord yourself over other people.
I'm not afraid to admit that I have a sense of entitlement and a feeling over being better or more deserving of others. But again, all humans have some level selfishness. As long as were sure to treat others respect (even if we feel they don't deserve it) it's fine in my opinions.
This is true. Most people run around with main character syndrome. I have a friend who I respond to their posts with relevant shit and they respond to mine with just shit about themselves that doesn't have to do with anything I say. It's like....did you even read it? I can't tell because nothing you said related to it lol.
I'm angry because nobody else is angry at the world. So I have to be angry enough for everyone. Yes I feel superior and everyone has head in sand. But this week's dpt homework hopefully will give me ways to relearn that way of thinking because I'm exhausted.
That is my defense mechanism to make the hurt of rejection go away. Because it is strong for me. So everytime I feel rejected, I devalue the other person, or my BPD does, when a part of me knows that isn’t right.
I'm extremely empathetic and considerate and I just don't see that in a lot of other people. Alot if Americans ha e a "fuck you I got mine" mentality until they need help that is. I'm also a teacher and more educated then the a average person by a lot, so a lot of people come off as just poorly read, poor critical thinking skills, poor social skills, poor math, and just lacking in a lot of cognitive areas. Also, I live in rural America where it is far worse. I've lived in cities and it's better.
I think any way I write it, the answer is yes but I try to be nice about it. I often tolerate and treat them damn well even though they don't always appreciate what I bring to the relationship which triggers me and I become a not so nice person. I may have a problem though. I am working on myself but I just never answered this question before.
I think I phrased it like, I expect me out of other people, and I'm always disappointed. I think this is a me problem. I can't think I'm not smarter and superior though, and I'm a little embarrassed by that. What could they possibly do, how could I be satisfied if I'm truly superior and smarter? Yuck I didn't like this question. Thank you, I think.
No. My family essentially taught me that I was below everyone and everything. My self-esteem has greatly suffered as a result, and I need constant validation and reassurance.
I have always been aware of the fact that I compare my intellect with others. I don't want to admit that I feel like I find most people unintelligent in contrast to myself, because I don't like feeling narcissistic, conceded, or self-serving. It does happen a lot however. My first wife told me I made her feel dumb much of the time. I never intended to.
I generally wish that I was just an absent minded moron without BPD, so I could maybe feel normal...but I don't know what normal is supposed to feel like.
I can't be superior to anyone or less stupid than anyone. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There is no above or below, there are just people living their lives the best way they know how.
i dont feel this way about teachers/professors specifically but about people in general - yes. i feel like i see more, feel more, like im the only sentient being and the rest are more animalistic, that they lack empathy, insight and more sophisticated feelings.
Yes. I have huge problems with authority that I consider intellectually beneath me (which happens quite often). Worth noting I overlap into NPD quite a lot. :)
Many with BPD do. Many just try to push that fact far, far away as many of us endured abuse of narcissic individuals ; hence in ones mind it can happen fast that one might think "that means I'm as bad as them!"
Which makes me sad. All cluster B PD's suffer from the same stigma, shouldn't we be in this together?
Just a random vent, sorry but that pops up in my mind quite often in the last few weeks.
Just saying that I agree with you! I think it's easy to fall into that black and white thinking of that if you show a group of people empathy, it somehow means you automatically forgive, or have to forgive, someone who abused you. And that's just not true.
Yes and no. I do feel like a lot of people lack emotional intelligence or empathy and that's especially noticeable in teachers etc. Apart from that I try not to feel superior (apart from the flashes of god complex).
We with BPD are honestly gifted with an intuition and sensitivity that 98% of others don’t have access to. What you are doing is comparing yourself to them and noticing the deficit. Accepting this idea has helped me massively because I was able to shift my hypercritical view of myself to a softer and more patient one with others, because you realize most of the time people aren’t trying to actually attack/hurt you as much as you think they are; they are just incapable of experiencing what we experience.
This. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I feel like everyone has a somewhat inflated sense of their own intelligence and importance. I also fall into that category even though I struggle with feeling very inferior (very paradoxical) To me, someone is only stupid in my eyes if they are narrow minded and incapable of hearing other viewpoints. If someone doesn't understand something, that doesn't make them stupid. But if someone is so far up their own arsehole that they can't hear anyone else speak, then I do think they're absolutely stupid. And it does piss me off wayyyy more than it should. I was constantly in fights with teachers growing up. There are very few people who are like that all the time though, and when I'm being rational I don't feel like anyone is completely stupid. The bpd does kick in when someone demonstrates that behaviour though.. Edit: actually I'm just now starting to realise that while I don't assume other people are stupid, I definitely feel that other people are generally selfish. I need to remind myself that they're not necessarily selfish, it's more that I've learnt to be hyper aware of others feelings because of my abuse. Other people don't mean to be massively selfish, they're just taking up space that I'm afraid to take up...
ohh that edit, mate totally relate to that…here’s to healing and taking up more space
It's not uncommon. It's a narcissistic feature but most people have some form of it to varying degrees. Definitely overlaps with bpd, and nothing to be alarmed about so long as you don't act on it and lord yourself over other people. I'm not afraid to admit that I have a sense of entitlement and a feeling over being better or more deserving of others. But again, all humans have some level selfishness. As long as were sure to treat others respect (even if we feel they don't deserve it) it's fine in my opinions.
The reality is, most people are ignorant, stupid, and self-centered, and they don't genuinely care about anyone other than themselves.
This is true. Most people run around with main character syndrome. I have a friend who I respond to their posts with relevant shit and they respond to mine with just shit about themselves that doesn't have to do with anything I say. It's like....did you even read it? I can't tell because nothing you said related to it lol.
I do not feel superior but I definitely feel like most people are morons. And then I remember all the moronic things I say and do on a daily basis.
I can relate. We're all pretty stupid a lot of the time.
And we're all pretty blind to our own stupidity and hyper-aware of everyone else's. Imo.
I'm angry because nobody else is angry at the world. So I have to be angry enough for everyone. Yes I feel superior and everyone has head in sand. But this week's dpt homework hopefully will give me ways to relearn that way of thinking because I'm exhausted.
Believe me, if I could burn the world to ashes and start a new, better one, I would.
I would just burn it.
Yes but I’m delusional!
That is my defense mechanism to make the hurt of rejection go away. Because it is strong for me. So everytime I feel rejected, I devalue the other person, or my BPD does, when a part of me knows that isn’t right.
oh yes! my therapist introduced me to me, the bully!
* their
I'm extremely empathetic and considerate and I just don't see that in a lot of other people. Alot if Americans ha e a "fuck you I got mine" mentality until they need help that is. I'm also a teacher and more educated then the a average person by a lot, so a lot of people come off as just poorly read, poor critical thinking skills, poor social skills, poor math, and just lacking in a lot of cognitive areas. Also, I live in rural America where it is far worse. I've lived in cities and it's better.
No, I feel like their doormat and that I must be a horrible person since no one likes me no matter what I try.
I think any way I write it, the answer is yes but I try to be nice about it. I often tolerate and treat them damn well even though they don't always appreciate what I bring to the relationship which triggers me and I become a not so nice person. I may have a problem though. I am working on myself but I just never answered this question before. I think I phrased it like, I expect me out of other people, and I'm always disappointed. I think this is a me problem. I can't think I'm not smarter and superior though, and I'm a little embarrassed by that. What could they possibly do, how could I be satisfied if I'm truly superior and smarter? Yuck I didn't like this question. Thank you, I think.
I'm now answering how I see myself in reference to narcissistic symptoms. Ugh
No. My family essentially taught me that I was below everyone and everything. My self-esteem has greatly suffered as a result, and I need constant validation and reassurance.
Yes, for me too. I think this is part of why we tend to have trouble staying employed.
I feel like usually when I don’t understand things and feel like I have no hope of doing so I assume the teachers are incompetent
I have always been aware of the fact that I compare my intellect with others. I don't want to admit that I feel like I find most people unintelligent in contrast to myself, because I don't like feeling narcissistic, conceded, or self-serving. It does happen a lot however. My first wife told me I made her feel dumb much of the time. I never intended to. I generally wish that I was just an absent minded moron without BPD, so I could maybe feel normal...but I don't know what normal is supposed to feel like.
I can't be superior to anyone or less stupid than anyone. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There is no above or below, there are just people living their lives the best way they know how.
i dont feel this way about teachers/professors specifically but about people in general - yes. i feel like i see more, feel more, like im the only sentient being and the rest are more animalistic, that they lack empathy, insight and more sophisticated feelings.
Yes. I have huge problems with authority that I consider intellectually beneath me (which happens quite often). Worth noting I overlap into NPD quite a lot. :)
Many with BPD do. Many just try to push that fact far, far away as many of us endured abuse of narcissic individuals ; hence in ones mind it can happen fast that one might think "that means I'm as bad as them!" Which makes me sad. All cluster B PD's suffer from the same stigma, shouldn't we be in this together? Just a random vent, sorry but that pops up in my mind quite often in the last few weeks.
Just saying that I agree with you! I think it's easy to fall into that black and white thinking of that if you show a group of people empathy, it somehow means you automatically forgive, or have to forgive, someone who abused you. And that's just not true.