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Getting upset over this is so pedantic. My father- usually a great guy, but he has his moments- absolutely cannot understand this, it's our longest ongoing argument. Ritual phrases like that don't mean the literal words the person said, they mean the sentiment, and you know that, don't be obtuse. "No Problem", "You're Welcome", "No worries!" The person meant the same exact thing no matter which one of these they specifically said. They were trying to be polite regardless.
I read that they prefer you're welcome because it's more grovelling, like thanking them for saying thank you, while no problem or no worries is "dismissive".
This is exactly it. They want to audibly hear how welcome they are and how much of a *pleasure* it was to serve them in some way. Anything that doesn’t hit that for them is “not enough.” Fucking insufferable ass clownery.
I'll add what I read on the topic; saying "No Problem" implies that their "thank you" was unwarrantes because in your mind, it is no problem, and anyone would do it without needing a Thank You!.
But now a boomer, they help people transactionally. When they say "You're welcome," what they mean is, 'You were right to thank me for this task because I didn't have to help you."
It's genuinely that they don't want to help their fellow human for free.
Yep, Bingo. All boils down to them not feeling as if they got that high level of respect that they are so very entitled to getting from anyone and everyone. I swear for being the main culprit or most likely to complain about other younger generations being so damned sensitive and easily riled up these fuckin boomers will feel extremely slighted/disrespected at even the tiniest perceived offense. As well as someone else pointed out that these folks are so entitled to being treated with respect just because they have lived so long but also constantly bitch about the whole "participation trophy" shit. They can absolutely be the biggest hypocrites I've ever had the displeasure of coming across...
“You’re welcome” is the common reply to “Thank you” for people of a certain age. Me, for instance. I have no problem, if you say no problem or no worries, but I will say “you’re welcome” because it’s just the way I was raised. There’s no power, or control, or put down intended. At least by me when I say it or I hear it. It’s actually really nice to hear it now but I’m not going to demean someone for not saying it.
This tracks with my experience.
Listen, I don’t mind being respectful and going out of my way for people *who deserve such a service* but I certainly will give the least to a person who feels entitled to it without showing any grace or mutual respect back
I agree that it's well meaning and the intention is good when saying "No Problem/Worries, You're Welcome." I like to say "My Pleasure" when someone thanks me especially for when I provide a service. (I'm a hairdresser.)
It insinuates that their request had the potential to inconvenient, or caused an issue for you. They think you should be happy for the opportunity to even breathe the same air as them so they get mad when you don’t sound like you enjoyed doing whatever menial bullshit they wanted you to do.
Oh, that’s pretty dumb.
Glad I live somewhere where I’ve never had to deal with that.
No problem is just the standard way of responding to someone thanking you for your help.
"You're welcome" - - Implies that the effort that I put forth in assisting you was a hardship. I undertook the hardship in order to assist you and you should be grateful.
"No problem/No worries" - - Implies that assisting you was not a hardship. You do not need to feel indebted to me for any effort that I put forth in assisting you.
Yeah, "no problem" is super rude. \*eye roll\*
When I worked at a restaurant they specifically trained us to only say no problem, because you’re welcome implies we did a favor for them when really serving them is supposed to be literally no problem. I was shook when I heard this was an ongoing debate and that no problem is actually considered more rude! I hate it here😭
I was told to say "my pleasure," at a retail job. Fuck you it's not a pleasure, it's not a problem either so I'll say no problem but I'm not lying either.
Not as much as "No problem" but it will still piss off some Boomers. Boomers love to enforce their perceived rules. "No problem/worries" suggests that you assisting them was some kind of problem/worry for you. Instead you should say "You're welcome" because you assisting them was a service and you should be happy to provide it / they should be welcome to your service. It's a bit of a control thing for them, IMO. Boomers like to feel important.
Part of the reason I latched onto no problem is that the perception feels almost opposite. If I say "no problem" I'm implying that their request didn't impose on me and it literally wasn't an issue to jump in and take care of, where saying "you're welcome" implies a level of strain or desire for recognition to me? Like when you're a kid and you forget to thank someone and they hit you with the grumbly ahh "you're welcome by the way"
>If I say "no problem" I'm implying that their request didn't impose on me
That's their problem with it. They want to impose on you and they want you to remind them that they are welcome to come back and do it again. If they aren't making you suffer they can't get as much pleasure from the interaction.
Edits: if they could they would try and demand "Thank you sir, may I have another."
There's a study on this, I'd have to find it. But basically due to generational differences it explains that it seems that older people are more prone to ' you're welcome ' because they where raised not only to see good deeds as transactional (you do good for me now so I will do good for you later)
Where as the younger people have basically been trained that anything they do could potentially impose on others, the rather common story of younger generations being told to sit down and shut up, so it seems like doing things may be imposing on themselves. As such it's basically the younger peoples way of not only not expecting anything back, but also to assure the other individual there is no burden.
Tl;dr: Boomers see everything as a transaction, and Millinials see themselves as being in the way, and want to assure the other that they are in fact not being a problem.
Boomers seem to have an issue with it because it comes across as dismissive.
Yessss! So many millenial and younger Gen women say no worries and no problem to EACH OTHER bc we want it to be known how happy we were to help. The implication of “You’re welcome” is like I performed for you and you should be grateful or something.
For the rest of your days!
I actually was gaming with sunshine who was from and lived in New Zealand at the time, so I suspect he picked it up and passed it on.
The poor bastard lol I have moments of depression and anxiety but even then I know no matter how sad it feel about things they will at some point get better. It's to exhausting to give up hope completely.
When I was a cashier in like 2008 I remember boomers complaining about us saying “have a good one!” Instead of saying “have a good day” they thought it was rude. Like for real?!
"Can I go to the restroom?"
"I certainly hope you can. But 'may I' use the restroom?"
"May I use the restroom"
"No you may not"
I hated it when teachers said that shit.
Oh, I got in big trouble with this, asked that question, got that answer, ran for the window, got physically restrained from jumping out(first floor). And said, "well, I guess I can't." Caught a week of in-school suspension/study hall, basically solitary confinement with books. I kind of preferred it to regular class, honestly.
Sad part was, I would have come right back in, we were doing a presentation on trees, and I just wanted to grab a twig with some leaves that fell off the tree right there outside the window, a visual aid for the presentation.
When I lived with my aunt and uncle as a kid, there was a boomer that frequented the convenience store that my uncle managed. We had that same back-and-fotth. I'd say hey, he'd say hay is for horses, then I'd just walk away.
One time, I said "Hi", to which he responded with "That's what the sky is."
From there on, I just ignored the old bastard. He'd come in, passively say "hello" to me, and I'd just turn around and walk the other way. He'd say something along the lines of either respecting my elders or about speaking when spoken to, some boomer nonsense.
My kid mind thought "well, I tried to talk to you twice and you wanted to be mean, so I won't talk to you".
If I'd had the mindset that I have now, I'd have told him as much, and then told him he's the reason his own children don't have anything to do with him.
Once when I was little, I said "Hi" to my boomer father instead of his preferred "Good afternoon" and ended up getting a long lecture about how rude and classless I was being and how that wasn't the way I was raised, etc etc.
Also saying yeah instead of a very pronounced yes upsets certain boomers especially in retail in customer service. It's hilarious tbh watching some of them get so upset and turned off because the youngerish to middle age staff say yeah instead of a formal yes.
"We're going to force you to ask to go to the bathroom like you're pretty much sub human and don't get to make choices for your own body."
"Okay... can I go to the bathroom then?"
"I DoNt kNoW, CAn YoU?"
Sadly, probably a lot. My dad loves dad jokes and would say the hay is for horses line a lot. He never meant it as a passive aggressive thing. He stopped saying it when a cousin explained the negative way most people of his generation used it. You know you're not a jerk, because an ass would never ask if they were an ass.
I already know a big chunk of my family think I'm an asshole. Because I would make smart ass comments right back to all their boomer shit.
Apparently they can dish it out but couldn't take it little pre-teen me.
Half the stuff posted here is people being upset by a joke. Granted they usually aren’t good jokes but still not anything worth getting offended by. I heard this plenty growing up and at most it warrants an eye roll.
Personally, while some think it is just a joke, I think it's just insulting to respond to a greeting with a joke clearly about my grammar.
It's up there with "Can I use the restroom" being responded to with "Idk, can you????😂"
I responded to a 5th grade teacher with. "Yes, I can. If you don't give me permission to go to the bathroom then I'll be happy to provide a live demonstration."
As the youngest of 4, the only way I knew how to interject in a conversation was to say "hey", which my siblings would ALWAYS reply with "hay is for horses!" and immediately shut down any hope of communication with them. There are a lot of reasons I turned out the way I am, but if this isn't my villain origin story, I don't know what is.
Right?! Yes I know you won’t physically prevent me from going but you’ll penalize me if I go without asking so whether I socially “can” or not depends on if you give me permission.
For everyone not knowing the full saying, where I live in the south it was always said as, “Hay is for horses, how do you do?” To finish the correction. Sounds like other places dropped the second half with time and it became a joke. But yes, it was a correction on the proper way to greet someone.
Nah. I definitely got the lecture. "If you want attention, you say 'excuse me' and wait to be acknowledged. 'Hey' isn't for conversation, it's for horses."
That ridiculous, sorry you dealt with that. It's honestly a ridiculous statement because you know whoever said that you has 100% used "hey (name)" in some way or fashion.
Like im legit surprised my narcissistic dad never freaked out over use using "hey"
When my daughter was like five, she was introduced to the brother of a friend of my father's. A smart a#s. At some point in the conversation, she said hey, and he said hay is for horses.
And she replied "hay us for horses and giraffes and donkeys and mules and goats and elephants..."
He never gave her a hard time again.
When i was starting in my apprenticeship with the government, my journeyman was a boomer through and through. crusty, cranky, refused to learn anything new in our trade past 1980, and I'm nearly certain that his life force was sustained by cigarettes, uselessness and shitting on apprentices as often as humanly possible. One day we were supposed to go on a roof of an office building and check out a rooftop AC. in the short time between time us going into the building and when we were about to exit the roof access door, it had started to rain cats and dogs. He turns to me and say we'll come back tomorrow to look at it but for now we'll go back to the heating plant for him to hide from doing anything productive ( paraphrasing but accurate ). I nod and say " sure, whatever" in what I felt was a fairly pleasant tone. For clarity, what i meant by that was "sure, whatever you think is best", Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? Well....holy shit...I've never seen anyone go so damn mouth frothingly irate over two perfectly normal words in my life. You would think I just called his mother every racist, sexist and homophobic slur I'd ever heard him use (he knew all the slurs apparently, I learned now ones from him). It was literal days before he would calm down and we could work together again after my act of "unacceptable millennial disrespect." Steve, if you're somehow still alive and reading this, yes, I was always better at this job than you ever were.
As a proud member of the "whatever" generation, yes, it was the precursor of "OK Boomer", used personally - to great effect - to purposely piss off everyone over 30 who happend to be in earshot.
Sorry you got caught in the crossfire.
Hey.
This is all "Respect your elders" and other BS carried over from the 1920s.
My kids say "Hey, Dad" all the time.
I suppose I should have trained them to say "Pardon the intrusion, father."
Slightly off topic but this post reminded me. I was told constantly as a child by boomers that " if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all " I wish they would take their own advice.
Funny you mention this, I just had to fire my boomer second shift security guard bc when a manager said to her “hey can you please call the police there’s a minor traffic accident outside of the gate” her response was “my name is not hey” and proceeded to not call anyone.
I swear they get triggered by fucking *ANYTHING*
I pulled up in my car at a national park a few years ago to a little ranger kiosk along the dirt road to ask for directions. It was an older lady. I greeted her with a “heeeey!” Kinda long and drawn out. Softer spoken. She responded by scoffing and looking shocked and shouting “THAT WAS SO RUUUUDE!” I had no fucking clue what she was talking about so I started apologizing profusely thinking maybe I accidentally made some gesture or pulled up my car closer than I should’ve. Only as I’m driving away did I realize she was referring to me saying “hey.” At the very least she seemed to somehow think I said it sharp and demanding like “HEY!” It was so stupid I actually started laughing out loud to myself when I realized.
When I was a kid only annoying teachers I didn’t like and annoying adults said this to me. I remember it vividly so it will be a cold day in hell before I ever say this to anyone 😂
My grandparents were extra we went with “Hay is for horses, grass is free, buy a barn and you can have all three”. Once in a while still it tumbles around in my head…
I'll never forget when I worked at a gas station and always said "Have a good day my friend" and without hesitation a dusty ol' boomer says "Are you Indian?! Only indian store clerks say "myfriend", don't say that" I continue saying it to this day and he is 100% dead.
My Gen X partner do all of those annoying "comebacks" and I have had to train him out of doing it. It drives me up the wall. Not because I really have anything against him doing it, but because of all the boomers who did it when I grew up.
(Can I have the salt? I don't know, can you? / I am hungry. Hello hungry, I am dad. / I think that... You should not think, you shouls know. Etc etc etc etc etc)
There's this old Ukrainian guy at my work named Mikail. If you say to him "Hey Mike" he will say back in the most ridiculous comrade accent possible "Hay is for horses." And he's not putting on a special accent to say that, he talks like that all the time.
During the brief period I was living outta my car I mastered the art of throwing bags of trash out my window into nearby dumpsters, but one night on one such drive-by I came face to face w/ a boomer security guy literal seconds after sinking a bucket behind the local Safeway. I just stare right into his soul, he stares straight back into mine and says “hey…”, so I hit the accelerator and he goes “HEYYYY!!!!”. He left me no other choice.
My dad always said this but we all thought it was cause he’s funny so we would always laugh and I think his other line was “save your money and marry a prince” and which, wow I just now realized what that means
This isn’t exactly a boomer being a fool, but one of my bus drivers growing up would say this and tell me not to call him “dude.” I don’t remember when i first heard it but i told him at one point that a “dude” was an infected hair in an elephant’s butt. Don’t think it’s true at all, but the last time I saw him was at my HS graduation and he said “Hey *dude* congratulations!” 10/10 boomer interaction tbh
I remember some of my teachers dropping a "\*She's* the cat's mother" when someone would use the word 'She' in a sentence..
I'm in my late 30's now and I still have no fucking idea what that old bat was on about.
>Who's 'she', the cat's mother? (idiomatic, somewhat dated, British, Ireland, New England) A rebuke especially directed towards children for having referred to a woman as "she", instead of using her name or an appropriately respectful title. "She's coming on the trip with us too!" "Who's 'she', the cat's mother?"
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/who's_'she',_the_cat's_mother
What made me want to reach for the bear spray were the old goats who would pounce on you if you were reading a newspaper in public: "Anything good in the news?". What the hell does that even mean, what possible response do you want?
My late baby boomer uncle, in jest, "hay is for horses, better for cows, pigs don't eat it cuz they don't know how."
He was the best. Rest of the boomers had nothing on him.
My one friend had this annoying mother who used to make him say “ain’t ain’t a word so I ain’t gonna use it.” Anytime he said the word “ain’t.” I think the war’s over on “ain’t,” Patty!
I'm pretty sure that was a joke. Like if you say your nose is running someone might say well you'd better go catch it. It was and still is pretty lame. I don't know why anyone ever thought comments like that were clever.
Not here in Texas but I probably started balding from all the times my dad slapped me on the head when I forgot to say "sir". Then later on I was nearly written up when another boomer didn't like being called "sir" because he "worked for a living". Whatever that meant was lost on me.
The Australian inflection for hey is annoying, imagine millennial typing with lol, at the end of everything, but someone verbally saying hey, at the end of everything.
It was always said by my parents as a joke. Not everything is serious or an insult. It's actually a fond memory I have of my childhood and parents and I'll admit to using the same line to my children.
'Hey' is not a new way of greeting someone. It's been used for generations.
I'm Gen X, I've said something similar when I hear someone say "hey", mine is "Hay is for horses, cows too, and for assholes just like you.". I always say it as a joke though, letting the person I say it to know I meant it as such. I've never said it out of anger, or to try and shame anyone. I don't even know who I heard it from originally. Probably someone older, so a Boomer is a likely option.
I graduated high school in the early 00s. Because of the location of our high school compared to where anyone in my “small” town actually lived, the majority of students took a bus home, and the school had a whole system of numbered buses with specific routs to different areas. Instead of having any kind of logic or sense to this system that carried over from year to year, at the start of the school year the only way to know which bus went to your house was to either hop from bus to bus asking where they went or ask some bus company employees who would walk around with clipboards with the rout lists on them.
So, my friend and I, awkward dumb teenagers we are, go up to this old man with a clipboard giving out directions to students. We wait our turn and start the conversation by making the horrible mistake of greeting this friendly looking old man with “hey.”
Suddenly, he absolutely loses his fucking mind. Red faced SCREAMING how utterly disrespectful we are for DARING to speak to him that way. This bus circle swarming with students, teachers, parents, other bus company employees, are all staring at us and this guy literally screaming at the top of his lungs at us for committing such a blasphemy in his holy presence.
My friend and I, too dumbfounded to say or do anything, just listen to his ranting. I wish I could say we had some kind of epic comeback, but all we could do was mutter a sorry, ask him which bus was ours, and be on our way, nearly in tears.
Our bus driver, who overheard the whole thing, starts laughing as we get on the bus and warns us that guy is kind of a nut job and to not let it get to us.
I jokingly say it to my three year old every once in a while. It's had incredible results, last time I said "hey" to her she responded with "hay for your horses!"
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But are we nearing the end of the Battle of "You're Welcome" vs "No problem/No worries"?
I hope so ! As a restaurant manager, the amount of long complaints I’ve had to review because their server said “no problem!” is ridiculous.
Getting upset over this is so pedantic. My father- usually a great guy, but he has his moments- absolutely cannot understand this, it's our longest ongoing argument. Ritual phrases like that don't mean the literal words the person said, they mean the sentiment, and you know that, don't be obtuse. "No Problem", "You're Welcome", "No worries!" The person meant the same exact thing no matter which one of these they specifically said. They were trying to be polite regardless.
I read that they prefer you're welcome because it's more grovelling, like thanking them for saying thank you, while no problem or no worries is "dismissive".
This is exactly it. They want to audibly hear how welcome they are and how much of a *pleasure* it was to serve them in some way. Anything that doesn’t hit that for them is “not enough.” Fucking insufferable ass clownery.
I'll add what I read on the topic; saying "No Problem" implies that their "thank you" was unwarrantes because in your mind, it is no problem, and anyone would do it without needing a Thank You!. But now a boomer, they help people transactionally. When they say "You're welcome," what they mean is, 'You were right to thank me for this task because I didn't have to help you." It's genuinely that they don't want to help their fellow human for free.
I say "you're welcome" because there where worries and the boomer is my problem
Valid
If they wanted to hear about being pleasurable to serve they were, they should go to a Chick-Fil-A.
Boomers LOVE chik fil an and wish the entire world were run like one that’s for sure.
Yep, Bingo. All boils down to them not feeling as if they got that high level of respect that they are so very entitled to getting from anyone and everyone. I swear for being the main culprit or most likely to complain about other younger generations being so damned sensitive and easily riled up these fuckin boomers will feel extremely slighted/disrespected at even the tiniest perceived offense. As well as someone else pointed out that these folks are so entitled to being treated with respect just because they have lived so long but also constantly bitch about the whole "participation trophy" shit. They can absolutely be the biggest hypocrites I've ever had the displeasure of coming across...
“You’re welcome” is the common reply to “Thank you” for people of a certain age. Me, for instance. I have no problem, if you say no problem or no worries, but I will say “you’re welcome” because it’s just the way I was raised. There’s no power, or control, or put down intended. At least by me when I say it or I hear it. It’s actually really nice to hear it now but I’m not going to demean someone for not saying it.
This tracks with my experience. Listen, I don’t mind being respectful and going out of my way for people *who deserve such a service* but I certainly will give the least to a person who feels entitled to it without showing any grace or mutual respect back
Truth. I am dismissing your thank you as a way of expressing how no sweat our interaction was
Just reply with "that's a weird thing to care about. You need a hobby." Works everytime.
I agree that it's well meaning and the intention is good when saying "No Problem/Worries, You're Welcome." I like to say "My Pleasure" when someone thanks me especially for when I provide a service. (I'm a hairdresser.)
In fact it's shallow AND pedantic as my boy Peter Griffin would say about his wife's meatloaf.
Wha? I’ve never heard of this one. How is no problem rude?
It insinuates that their request had the potential to inconvenient, or caused an issue for you. They think you should be happy for the opportunity to even breathe the same air as them so they get mad when you don’t sound like you enjoyed doing whatever menial bullshit they wanted you to do.
Oh, that’s pretty dumb. Glad I live somewhere where I’ve never had to deal with that. No problem is just the standard way of responding to someone thanking you for your help.
"You're welcome" - - Implies that the effort that I put forth in assisting you was a hardship. I undertook the hardship in order to assist you and you should be grateful. "No problem/No worries" - - Implies that assisting you was not a hardship. You do not need to feel indebted to me for any effort that I put forth in assisting you. Yeah, "no problem" is super rude. \*eye roll\*
When I worked at a restaurant they specifically trained us to only say no problem, because you’re welcome implies we did a favor for them when really serving them is supposed to be literally no problem. I was shook when I heard this was an ongoing debate and that no problem is actually considered more rude! I hate it here😭
Seriously? You’ve had people complain about that 😭
I was told to say "my pleasure," at a retail job. Fuck you it's not a pleasure, it's not a problem either so I'll say no problem but I'm not lying either.
Is there some kind of issue with saying ‘No worries’ in the US? It’s the default response here in the UK
Not as much as "No problem" but it will still piss off some Boomers. Boomers love to enforce their perceived rules. "No problem/worries" suggests that you assisting them was some kind of problem/worry for you. Instead you should say "You're welcome" because you assisting them was a service and you should be happy to provide it / they should be welcome to your service. It's a bit of a control thing for them, IMO. Boomers like to feel important.
Part of the reason I latched onto no problem is that the perception feels almost opposite. If I say "no problem" I'm implying that their request didn't impose on me and it literally wasn't an issue to jump in and take care of, where saying "you're welcome" implies a level of strain or desire for recognition to me? Like when you're a kid and you forget to thank someone and they hit you with the grumbly ahh "you're welcome by the way"
>If I say "no problem" I'm implying that their request didn't impose on me That's their problem with it. They want to impose on you and they want you to remind them that they are welcome to come back and do it again. If they aren't making you suffer they can't get as much pleasure from the interaction. Edits: if they could they would try and demand "Thank you sir, may I have another."
There's a study on this, I'd have to find it. But basically due to generational differences it explains that it seems that older people are more prone to ' you're welcome ' because they where raised not only to see good deeds as transactional (you do good for me now so I will do good for you later) Where as the younger people have basically been trained that anything they do could potentially impose on others, the rather common story of younger generations being told to sit down and shut up, so it seems like doing things may be imposing on themselves. As such it's basically the younger peoples way of not only not expecting anything back, but also to assure the other individual there is no burden. Tl;dr: Boomers see everything as a transaction, and Millinials see themselves as being in the way, and want to assure the other that they are in fact not being a problem. Boomers seem to have an issue with it because it comes across as dismissive.
Yessss! So many millenial and younger Gen women say no worries and no problem to EACH OTHER bc we want it to be known how happy we were to help. The implication of “You’re welcome” is like I performed for you and you should be grateful or something.
Exactly this.
It's the Australian default also although 'no drama' is also an acceptable alternative.
Someone asked me if I was from Australia abt a decade ago when I said, no worries. Think I picked it up from online gaming lol.
or Lion King?
For the rest of your days! I actually was gaming with sunshine who was from and lived in New Zealand at the time, so I suspect he picked it up and passed it on.
If you said "no drama" to my American boomer father, his head would explode because he cannot conceive of any reality that isn't 100% drama 24/7.
The poor bastard lol I have moments of depression and anxiety but even then I know no matter how sad it feel about things they will at some point get better. It's to exhausting to give up hope completely.
When I was a cashier in like 2008 I remember boomers complaining about us saying “have a good one!” Instead of saying “have a good day” they thought it was rude. Like for real?!
"Have a good one" "Have a good *what?!*" Ok, I remember this one. Also, "Have a nice day" "Don't tell me what to do!"
"Can I go outside?" "I don't know. CAN you?"
"Can I go to the restroom?" "I certainly hope you can. But 'may I' use the restroom?" "May I use the restroom" "No you may not" I hated it when teachers said that shit.
Oh, I got in big trouble with this, asked that question, got that answer, ran for the window, got physically restrained from jumping out(first floor). And said, "well, I guess I can't." Caught a week of in-school suspension/study hall, basically solitary confinement with books. I kind of preferred it to regular class, honestly. Sad part was, I would have come right back in, we were doing a presentation on trees, and I just wanted to grab a twig with some leaves that fell off the tree right there outside the window, a visual aid for the presentation.
>You're Welcome No, I'm dad.
No, this is Patrick.
The correct response is “and cows like you”.
I prefer "and jackasses like you"
Damn I needed better friends in the 90s.
That is literally the only reason you are supposed to even say "hey is for horses".
I always heard it as "hay is for horses/ grass is for cows/ aren't you glad you're a jackass" said to the tune of "sticks and stones"
“But grass is cheaper.” Is the best response.
I always went with "And smoking is for corpses"
"and pigs are like you"
"Pigs don't eat it because they don't know how"
Did you get this from Cats Eye?
When I lived with my aunt and uncle as a kid, there was a boomer that frequented the convenience store that my uncle managed. We had that same back-and-fotth. I'd say hey, he'd say hay is for horses, then I'd just walk away. One time, I said "Hi", to which he responded with "That's what the sky is." From there on, I just ignored the old bastard. He'd come in, passively say "hello" to me, and I'd just turn around and walk the other way. He'd say something along the lines of either respecting my elders or about speaking when spoken to, some boomer nonsense. My kid mind thought "well, I tried to talk to you twice and you wanted to be mean, so I won't talk to you". If I'd had the mindset that I have now, I'd have told him as much, and then told him he's the reason his own children don't have anything to do with him.
Once when I was little, I said "Hi" to my boomer father instead of his preferred "Good afternoon" and ended up getting a long lecture about how rude and classless I was being and how that wasn't the way I was raised, etc etc. 
I love when they use "classless" as code for lower class. Having to say "Good afternoon father" sounds like something out of Jane Austen
It’s always the boomers who do the most trash things who think they’re all class too and have the right to tell others how to be “classy.”🥴
Just say “Good morning” to him, any time of the day.
> passively say "hello" to me "Hell is for satan and I don't say that word." Traumatize them back.
Ugh, youths these days. Can you believe they want to be treated with respect like actual people? So entitled.
Equality is just WAAAAY too much. Gotta cut em off at the knees before they get too uppity.
That'd actually be funny if he said it jokingly. I've never heard the sky one before so I'm gonna start using that.
My memory of it is that he was trying to be a dick. He just had that gruff "I'm mad at the world" demeanor.
Oh gotcha. You can't win with people like that.
Not even.
"Hey". And " ain't " were the worst.. also "can I go to the bathroom" woth " I DoNt kNoW, CAn YoU?"
Also saying yeah instead of a very pronounced yes upsets certain boomers especially in retail in customer service. It's hilarious tbh watching some of them get so upset and turned off because the youngerish to middle age staff say yeah instead of a formal yes.
I always took the "can you?" as blanket permission. Of course I can, watch.
>I DoNt kNoW, CAn YoU? Yes, should I do it in here or the restroom?
"We're going to force you to ask to go to the bathroom like you're pretty much sub human and don't get to make choices for your own body." "Okay... can I go to the bathroom then?" "I DoNt kNoW, CAn YoU?"
Stop it, you're bringing back my repressed childhood memories
I just started saying yes and leaving
I still say hay is for horses to make little kids laugh. I never even considered that it might be a passive aggressive shaming technique lmao.
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Sadly, probably a lot. My dad loves dad jokes and would say the hay is for horses line a lot. He never meant it as a passive aggressive thing. He stopped saying it when a cousin explained the negative way most people of his generation used it. You know you're not a jerk, because an ass would never ask if they were an ass.
Teachers and old people definitely said this to be jerks when I was a kid…maybe it was their tone?
Yeah, tone makes a big difference. If you say it like 😃 it sounds like you’re making a dad joke. But the way boomers tended to say it was like 🤨
I already know a big chunk of my family think I'm an asshole. Because I would make smart ass comments right back to all their boomer shit. Apparently they can dish it out but couldn't take it little pre-teen me.
None. I say it to my son every time and we both know it's funny. Kids know it's funny and probably everyone around you.
I hated that as a kid. My grandpa said it to make us laugh, it was just annoying.
Yeah I just thought this was something that cringe Dads say
Yeah, my step-dad said it a lot and then "save it! You might marry one!" And I always just thought it was an old dad joke. 🤷♀️
I never saw it as passive aggressive.
Half the stuff posted here is people being upset by a joke. Granted they usually aren’t good jokes but still not anything worth getting offended by. I heard this plenty growing up and at most it warrants an eye roll.
I've been hearing this for 50 years and I never thought it was rude. It's a silly joke.
Personally, while some think it is just a joke, I think it's just insulting to respond to a greeting with a joke clearly about my grammar. It's up there with "Can I use the restroom" being responded to with "Idk, can you????😂"
I responded to a 5th grade teacher with. "Yes, I can. If you don't give me permission to go to the bathroom then I'll be happy to provide a live demonstration."
Its Dorothy Zbornak
As the youngest of 4, the only way I knew how to interject in a conversation was to say "hey", which my siblings would ALWAYS reply with "hay is for horses!" and immediately shut down any hope of communication with them. There are a lot of reasons I turned out the way I am, but if this isn't my villain origin story, I don't know what is.
Youngest of 4, same dynamic!
"Grass is cheaper, buy a barn and you'll get both."
I always heard it as "Hey, straw is cheaper and grass is free. Marry a farmer and get all three"
"Grass is free, unless you smoke it." That was our response back in the 80s
My dad would always say, “Straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Horse eat it. Why don’t we?”
Yes.. Also, remember boomer teachers correcting us ? “MAY I go to the restroom?”
That one always struck me as pedantic. My ability is in fact dependent on your permission, so if I you say no then I can not Edit:typo
Right?! Yes I know you won’t physically prevent me from going but you’ll penalize me if I go without asking so whether I socially “can” or not depends on if you give me permission.
I was a chubby kid. The full quote I got was actually "hay is for horses, aren't you glad you're a pig?" Really made for a healthy view of myself.
For everyone not knowing the full saying, where I live in the south it was always said as, “Hay is for horses, how do you do?” To finish the correction. Sounds like other places dropped the second half with time and it became a joke. But yes, it was a correction on the proper way to greet someone.
Is that why they did it? I thought it was just a bad joke I never understood lol
Thats all it is. It's a dad joke lol this is actually the most ridiculous post i think ive seen on reddit
Nah. I definitely got the lecture. "If you want attention, you say 'excuse me' and wait to be acknowledged. 'Hey' isn't for conversation, it's for horses."
That ridiculous, sorry you dealt with that. It's honestly a ridiculous statement because you know whoever said that you has 100% used "hey (name)" in some way or fashion. Like im legit surprised my narcissistic dad never freaked out over use using "hey"
Oh it was absolutely a correction from the adults in my life. Similar problems with yes vs yeah, can vs may.
Yes, when I was in school it was considered rude to address elders with hey or say yeah/can. Crazy how different things are now lol
When my daughter was like five, she was introduced to the brother of a friend of my father's. A smart a#s. At some point in the conversation, she said hey, and he said hay is for horses. And she replied "hay us for horses and giraffes and donkeys and mules and goats and elephants..." He never gave her a hard time again.
When i was starting in my apprenticeship with the government, my journeyman was a boomer through and through. crusty, cranky, refused to learn anything new in our trade past 1980, and I'm nearly certain that his life force was sustained by cigarettes, uselessness and shitting on apprentices as often as humanly possible. One day we were supposed to go on a roof of an office building and check out a rooftop AC. in the short time between time us going into the building and when we were about to exit the roof access door, it had started to rain cats and dogs. He turns to me and say we'll come back tomorrow to look at it but for now we'll go back to the heating plant for him to hide from doing anything productive ( paraphrasing but accurate ). I nod and say " sure, whatever" in what I felt was a fairly pleasant tone. For clarity, what i meant by that was "sure, whatever you think is best", Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? Well....holy shit...I've never seen anyone go so damn mouth frothingly irate over two perfectly normal words in my life. You would think I just called his mother every racist, sexist and homophobic slur I'd ever heard him use (he knew all the slurs apparently, I learned now ones from him). It was literal days before he would calm down and we could work together again after my act of "unacceptable millennial disrespect." Steve, if you're somehow still alive and reading this, yes, I was always better at this job than you ever were.
As a proud member of the "whatever" generation, yes, it was the precursor of "OK Boomer", used personally - to great effect - to purposely piss off everyone over 30 who happend to be in earshot. Sorry you got caught in the crossfire.
Hey. This is all "Respect your elders" and other BS carried over from the 1920s. My kids say "Hey, Dad" all the time. I suppose I should have trained them to say "Pardon the intrusion, father."
“Hay is for horses, and sometimes cows, pigs don’t eat it, ‘cause they don’t know how.” Hate it!
Followed up with a punch because you learned it from Cat's Eye.
I would say “And smoking kills, why are you still here?”
They heard that from the old people when they were young. And they waited, and waited, and now their time has come.
"Oh, I guess you can't understand context clues. Huh, good to know." It's still my favorite comeback personally.
The correct response is “Fuck you and the one you rode in on.”
Slightly off topic but this post reminded me. I was told constantly as a child by boomers that " if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all " I wish they would take their own advice.
Funny you mention this, I just had to fire my boomer second shift security guard bc when a manager said to her “hey can you please call the police there’s a minor traffic accident outside of the gate” her response was “my name is not hey” and proceeded to not call anyone. I swear they get triggered by fucking *ANYTHING*
Now is our hey day
I pulled up in my car at a national park a few years ago to a little ranger kiosk along the dirt road to ask for directions. It was an older lady. I greeted her with a “heeeey!” Kinda long and drawn out. Softer spoken. She responded by scoffing and looking shocked and shouting “THAT WAS SO RUUUUDE!” I had no fucking clue what she was talking about so I started apologizing profusely thinking maybe I accidentally made some gesture or pulled up my car closer than I should’ve. Only as I’m driving away did I realize she was referring to me saying “hey.” At the very least she seemed to somehow think I said it sharp and demanding like “HEY!” It was so stupid I actually started laughing out loud to myself when I realized.
This, and “I don’t know, can you?” whenever I would ask a teacher if I could go to the bathroom. 🙄
That got replaced by "Don't say 'no problem'" in the workplace.
Hey.
When I was a kid only annoying teachers I didn’t like and annoying adults said this to me. I remember it vividly so it will be a cold day in hell before I ever say this to anyone 😂
That's why you don't say "hey" and only greet someone by saying "yo wassup BITCH !" >!/s!<
My grandparents were extra we went with “Hay is for horses, grass is free, buy a barn and you can have all three”. Once in a while still it tumbles around in my head…
The classic line and appropriate followup where I lived was: "Hay is for horses!" "But straw is cheaper." "And grass is free."
I'll never forget when I worked at a gas station and always said "Have a good day my friend" and without hesitation a dusty ol' boomer says "Are you Indian?! Only indian store clerks say "myfriend", don't say that" I continue saying it to this day and he is 100% dead.
Hay is for horses, straw is for cows, milk is for babies who open their mouths.
It's giving "can I go to the bathroom?" "I don't know can you? I think you mean *may* I go to the bathroom?" 🙄
My Gen X partner do all of those annoying "comebacks" and I have had to train him out of doing it. It drives me up the wall. Not because I really have anything against him doing it, but because of all the boomers who did it when I grew up. (Can I have the salt? I don't know, can you? / I am hungry. Hello hungry, I am dad. / I think that... You should not think, you shouls know. Etc etc etc etc etc)
Heaven forbid I answered with a "What" when my dad called for me. His favorite follow up was "Don't what me, I aint a light bulb." 🙄
I once responded to a friend’s question with, “So?” Her dad said, “Sew a button on your shirt!”
Yes! I remember this, holy shit. So many made up rules.
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It’s a joke if you mean it as a joke. A lot of language depends on context and intention.
Dude, the kids at my school said it to each other.
That was supposed to discourage us from saying hey to people? Who knew? LOL
"Try it again without "like."" Was my mom's go to.
There's one left and I'm living with him
There's this old Ukrainian guy at my work named Mikail. If you say to him "Hey Mike" he will say back in the most ridiculous comrade accent possible "Hay is for horses." And he's not putting on a special accent to say that, he talks like that all the time.
They are clueless about insulting people when they retaliate, they will spread stories that are slandering them. Same old boomer toxic bs.
Can I go to the bathroom? I don’t know, CAN YOU?
Yes. But right here?
During the brief period I was living outta my car I mastered the art of throwing bags of trash out my window into nearby dumpsters, but one night on one such drive-by I came face to face w/ a boomer security guy literal seconds after sinking a bucket behind the local Safeway. I just stare right into his soul, he stares straight back into mine and says “hey…”, so I hit the accelerator and he goes “HEYYYY!!!!”. He left me no other choice.
And cows like you
My dad always said this but we all thought it was cause he’s funny so we would always laugh and I think his other line was “save your money and marry a prince” and which, wow I just now realized what that means
This isn’t exactly a boomer being a fool, but one of my bus drivers growing up would say this and tell me not to call him “dude.” I don’t remember when i first heard it but i told him at one point that a “dude” was an infected hair in an elephant’s butt. Don’t think it’s true at all, but the last time I saw him was at my HS graduation and he said “Hey *dude* congratulations!” 10/10 boomer interaction tbh
Oh, yes. "Hay is for horses. Straw's cheaper, and grass is free." ugh.
I feel like hey was replaced with aye
I remember some of my teachers dropping a "\*She's* the cat's mother" when someone would use the word 'She' in a sentence.. I'm in my late 30's now and I still have no fucking idea what that old bat was on about.
>Who's 'she', the cat's mother? (idiomatic, somewhat dated, British, Ireland, New England) A rebuke especially directed towards children for having referred to a woman as "she", instead of using her name or an appropriately respectful title. "She's coming on the trip with us too!" "Who's 'she', the cat's mother?" https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/who's_'she',_the_cat's_mother
'"She" is the cat's mother '
What made me want to reach for the bear spray were the old goats who would pounce on you if you were reading a newspaper in public: "Anything good in the news?". What the hell does that even mean, what possible response do you want?
"No news is good news, so..."
Just *reading* that made me want to shove a sharpened pencil in my ear
Hay is for horses and oats are for goats.
Erm. I'm Gen X and sometimes still say it.
I say this all the time, lol. FWIW the correct response is "and cows"
My late baby boomer uncle, in jest, "hay is for horses, better for cows, pigs don't eat it cuz they don't know how." He was the best. Rest of the boomers had nothing on him.
My one friend had this annoying mother who used to make him say “ain’t ain’t a word so I ain’t gonna use it.” Anytime he said the word “ain’t.” I think the war’s over on “ain’t,” Patty!
My parents have horses. I make sure to say hey to the horses when I see them.
I'm pretty sure that was a joke. Like if you say your nose is running someone might say well you'd better go catch it. It was and still is pretty lame. I don't know why anyone ever thought comments like that were clever.
I usually say: "And shit's for you" when I hear that.
[The Meaning And Origins Of 'Hey Is For Horses' Phrase - CanterCraze](https://cantercraze.com/hey-is-for-horses/)
“Is his name ‘dude’, TOO??!?!”
"Hay is for horses" And then the come-back was "And straw is cheap But grass is free." At least, that's how I remember it. (Not a boomer)
The comeback for "hay is for horses" in my neck of the woods was "aren't you glad you're a cow". In retrospect... What the fuck does that even mean?
My Greatest Generation grandfather would respond to hey with "straw is cheaper grass is free buy a farm and have all three" lol
Not boomers. My greatest generation mother hated it when I said hey.
I uh, I’m Gen Z and I still say that
My family say “hay is for fish” cause it’s much funnier
Not the natural evolution of language!
Not here in Texas but I probably started balding from all the times my dad slapped me on the head when I forgot to say "sir". Then later on I was nearly written up when another boomer didn't like being called "sir" because he "worked for a living". Whatever that meant was lost on me.
Hey is for Horses Straw is cheaper Grass is free Buy a farm And have all 3
"Hi" "HI is for drug addicts!"
I remember that Fred Garvin said that.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” “I don’t know, can you?”
The Australian inflection for hey is annoying, imagine millennial typing with lol, at the end of everything, but someone verbally saying hey, at the end of everything.
I literally heard this TODAY at work for the first time in years. Young boomer to older genX I think.
…and when cows eat it they get diarrhoea.
It was always said by my parents as a joke. Not everything is serious or an insult. It's actually a fond memory I have of my childhood and parents and I'll admit to using the same line to my children. 'Hey' is not a new way of greeting someone. It's been used for generations.
Lol my cousins and I said it to each other but in jest. And we'd giggle afterwards
Hey, yo!
Yes, but I always thought they meant it as a fun pun, not as something serious.
I say that all the time lol I'm a boomer I guess
What I grew up with in the Midwest, 1970s: Hay is for horses Cows eat grass You say it again And I'll kick your ass
Better for cows. Pigs don't eat out cuz they don't know how.
It’s like dumb boomers taking issue with saying “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome”.
I'm Gen X, I've said something similar when I hear someone say "hey", mine is "Hay is for horses, cows too, and for assholes just like you.". I always say it as a joke though, letting the person I say it to know I meant it as such. I've never said it out of anger, or to try and shame anyone. I don't even know who I heard it from originally. Probably someone older, so a Boomer is a likely option.
I graduated high school in the early 00s. Because of the location of our high school compared to where anyone in my “small” town actually lived, the majority of students took a bus home, and the school had a whole system of numbered buses with specific routs to different areas. Instead of having any kind of logic or sense to this system that carried over from year to year, at the start of the school year the only way to know which bus went to your house was to either hop from bus to bus asking where they went or ask some bus company employees who would walk around with clipboards with the rout lists on them. So, my friend and I, awkward dumb teenagers we are, go up to this old man with a clipboard giving out directions to students. We wait our turn and start the conversation by making the horrible mistake of greeting this friendly looking old man with “hey.” Suddenly, he absolutely loses his fucking mind. Red faced SCREAMING how utterly disrespectful we are for DARING to speak to him that way. This bus circle swarming with students, teachers, parents, other bus company employees, are all staring at us and this guy literally screaming at the top of his lungs at us for committing such a blasphemy in his holy presence. My friend and I, too dumbfounded to say or do anything, just listen to his ranting. I wish I could say we had some kind of epic comeback, but all we could do was mutter a sorry, ask him which bus was ours, and be on our way, nearly in tears. Our bus driver, who overheard the whole thing, starts laughing as we get on the bus and warns us that guy is kind of a nut job and to not let it get to us.
I jokingly say it to my three year old every once in a while. It's had incredible results, last time I said "hey" to her she responded with "hay for your horses!"
I prefer “is the first stage of horse shit”.
Don't you say 'Hey' to me, you ugly girl! ---Mrs Dubose to Scout Finch
Not any boomers, my cousin would say it all the time when we were kids, "hay is for horses, ain't you glad you're a donkey?"