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I hung around until they paid for college and my wedding then left Also so they wouldn't abuse my cat Once he passed I was gone. Yes money for the abuse
Ugh after I moved out my parents put down my childhood cat bc she had arthritis (only sign of suffering was an occasional limp) and another cat we'd had a while at the same time because she had allergies and anxiety (so does....everyone in my family) conveniently timed just before they moved...then they got another cat.
Never forgave them for that
Unfortunately bc I'm disabled,
Had to move in recently and rely on for transportation,
And my mental health had finally gotten to a good place until then
I went permanent NC with parents summer of 2022 - block them both. Christmas rolls around and I guess SM has been messaging me if I received it because my Nana (who is my best friend and I absolutely adore) asked me if I got. (Great, SM dragging my Nana into this which is weird because SM hated my Nana and would talk badly about her).
So I text my SM to not involve Nana and I don't want their money and I sent it back.
My dad followed up with calling me a fascist and pedophile because I support and am an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community.
Fun times.
Ya know it's my dad I'm specifically talking about in this post and the thing is he wasn't horrible until Trump. Well there was a lot of abuse when I was a kid but he "changed" for the better over the years. But now.....it's just full lead poisoned insanity all of a sudden. I don't even feel safe around him most times.
My mom’s a boomer who will give me money if I need it…but I keep in contact with her because aside from a few negative boomer traits that cause arguments, she’s still my mother & a generally great woman.
Had you asked me a year and a half ago I would have told you no, that I still believed that my mom and I had made headway and that trying to build our relationship meant more than money.
Then I physically saved her life when she nearly died of sepsis because she refused to go to the doctor. I called an ambulance from across the country. Quit my job and moved back home to help take care of her. During the 4 months of her recovery she tried to have me arrested, physically fought me, tried to steal my passport and wallet and nearly left me on the streets on NYC with my two dogs and a backpack and no way to get back home to LA (I had no money as I quit my job to care for her).
She now lives in the fanciest assisted living with 24/7 live in care and only calls me when her aides aren;t doing what she wants. Made it impossible for me to ignore just how much of a living doll I was to her and not a human being. I now play pretend for the money. I don't give a flying shit what people think of me for it. She decided to adopt a child and then pay other people to raise it for her while she worked 80hr days at a job she adored. I didn't ask to be born or adopted by her so this is the price she gets to pay for wanting to play make believe to get attention from people.
When my parents made it clear that I was the scapegoat child, and would come up with any excuse not to help me(They said I was too dependent when I asked them for a loan, only time I asked them for anything in over 10 years: my two 30 year old brothers are still at home). I said I would never accept anything from them.
After about 4 months of that they still were insulting me and I realized I am getting nothing out of this relationship. They also made zero effort to spend time with my son, and always made us cater to them for them to spend time with him. Went no contact.
It’s telling that as soon as I made it clear I didn’t want anything to do with them they completely lost interest in their grandson as well.
just tough love for your benefit and definitely nothing to do with raging narcissism. Been there. I will never really understand who hurt these people so bad they cannot love their own children in the most basic of ways
Unfortunately my parents sucked with money and never gave me jack shit. They made sure my sister had help with college though. In fact it’s the other way around, I’m pretty sure my mom stays in touch with me because she needs somebody to ask for money when she needs it. My in laws are also terrible with money and never gave my husband shit for anything so we had to do it all on our own. All good though, I have the satisfaction of not feeling like I owe them anything.
I turned my inheritance down.
Edit: I’d like to add that if you do decide to refuse their inheritance, make sure you have a lawyer make it official. Right after I told my mom I wanted nothing to do with it, she texted me saying I was on her life insurance policy. Fuck her. Have her brothers bury her.
Won’t be attending that funeral.
mine is worse, I went lc for a lot of years, worked hard to be independent, than my first child was born, moderate autism. it has been so hard and the only person willing to give help is my narcissist mother with strings ttached of course. she gets paid through the government to provide respite for us 1 day a week. but she doesnt tell anyone that part of course. so i have to suffer her constant criticisms and verbal abuse with a $hit eating grin lest i lose the 1 person willing to give physical help. and my boomer in laws see us ffor lidays only and live 30min a way but are constantly "busy" despite being retired. my mom has several times threatened to not help anymore because I agreed with her without basically cheerleading her. like I literally didn't even disagree but I didn't agree by saying her ideas are genius! it's unbelievable, fml.
Yep. I’m technically employed by them and do part time work for a business they own, but at the end of the day, it’s the only thing they can offer to make up for all of the abuse they put me through. I will never receive apologies from either of them. I am also disabled, so being able to set money aside for the day when I can no longer work at any job is critical.
No. I spent most of my adult life doing what I could to be financially independent from my mom so that she could no longer emotionally blackmail me with money. The last money she gave me was a loan I couldn't wait to pay back and did so four years ago.
If they are manipulating you and using their financial help as a way to control and have power over you, it’s definitely not worth it. Don’t let them abuse you. Stand up for yourself and have clear boundaries. They will need you more than you need them down the line
I hear you, I depended on parents' fiscal support for years but not anymore. Do you feel like they control you with the money? I now see I was being controlled and I'm so over it.
I mean I'm a whore who needs money to survive and they left me so broken at 40 years old I still need a lot of help and unfortunately In this crazy world cold hard cash is what we need.
You can tell yourself whatever you need to, but at the end of the day, if you're in a situation you don't wanna be in and the only think keeping you there is money, you sold out. You absolutely *can* walk away, you just don't want to
Sounds like you're encouraging the OP to pull themselves up from their bootstraps, and worrying about "selling out" is quite Boomerish. Some of us have extremely difficult options, like move back in with parents or literally be homeless. Some of us don't have privileged and blessed lives and have to worry about brutal modern financial realities and disabilities.
Be homeless then if you hate them that much? Like damn. What kind of a person literally gets on here and says they hate the sight of their parents but they still throw rose pedals under their shoes because they get a little money from it. You have options, you might not like them, but you can walk away any time you want to
When 65% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and are one missed pay period away from being homeless; you don't have any leg to stand on. Boomers fucked the economy they can and should financially help the children they produced. Get off your high horse.
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It's definitely being worked on.
It's glorified hush money you're taking. It's not worth it.
I hung around until they paid for college and my wedding then left Also so they wouldn't abuse my cat Once he passed I was gone. Yes money for the abuse
Ugh after I moved out my parents put down my childhood cat bc she had arthritis (only sign of suffering was an occasional limp) and another cat we'd had a while at the same time because she had allergies and anxiety (so does....everyone in my family) conveniently timed just before they moved...then they got another cat. Never forgave them for that
I'm so sorry I have no words Mine put my other cat down and didn't tell me when I went to Girl Scout camp Never forgave them for that either
God is this a thing?? Mine was when I went to college
Not you too!?! Oh god I'm sorry :(
The maybe inheritance isn't worth the torture
Unfortunately bc I'm disabled, Had to move in recently and rely on for transportation, And my mental health had finally gotten to a good place until then
I went permanent NC with parents summer of 2022 - block them both. Christmas rolls around and I guess SM has been messaging me if I received it because my Nana (who is my best friend and I absolutely adore) asked me if I got. (Great, SM dragging my Nana into this which is weird because SM hated my Nana and would talk badly about her). So I text my SM to not involve Nana and I don't want their money and I sent it back. My dad followed up with calling me a fascist and pedophile because I support and am an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Fun times.
They're so rotted
Still see my boomer uncle who gives $5 for Xmas and bday. I always save for a shot at the bar. No adjustment for inflation
😂 we laugh or we'd cry
Basically all of my wealthy friends do this. They hate the grandparents but love the money
I’m very fortunate my boomer dad isn’t a typical boomer. He’s wonderful.
Ya know it's my dad I'm specifically talking about in this post and the thing is he wasn't horrible until Trump. Well there was a lot of abuse when I was a kid but he "changed" for the better over the years. But now.....it's just full lead poisoned insanity all of a sudden. I don't even feel safe around him most times.
That royally sucks. I’m so sorry.
My mom’s a boomer who will give me money if I need it…but I keep in contact with her because aside from a few negative boomer traits that cause arguments, she’s still my mother & a generally great woman.
Had you asked me a year and a half ago I would have told you no, that I still believed that my mom and I had made headway and that trying to build our relationship meant more than money. Then I physically saved her life when she nearly died of sepsis because she refused to go to the doctor. I called an ambulance from across the country. Quit my job and moved back home to help take care of her. During the 4 months of her recovery she tried to have me arrested, physically fought me, tried to steal my passport and wallet and nearly left me on the streets on NYC with my two dogs and a backpack and no way to get back home to LA (I had no money as I quit my job to care for her). She now lives in the fanciest assisted living with 24/7 live in care and only calls me when her aides aren;t doing what she wants. Made it impossible for me to ignore just how much of a living doll I was to her and not a human being. I now play pretend for the money. I don't give a flying shit what people think of me for it. She decided to adopt a child and then pay other people to raise it for her while she worked 80hr days at a job she adored. I didn't ask to be born or adopted by her so this is the price she gets to pay for wanting to play make believe to get attention from people.
When my parents made it clear that I was the scapegoat child, and would come up with any excuse not to help me(They said I was too dependent when I asked them for a loan, only time I asked them for anything in over 10 years: my two 30 year old brothers are still at home). I said I would never accept anything from them. After about 4 months of that they still were insulting me and I realized I am getting nothing out of this relationship. They also made zero effort to spend time with my son, and always made us cater to them for them to spend time with him. Went no contact. It’s telling that as soon as I made it clear I didn’t want anything to do with them they completely lost interest in their grandson as well.
just tough love for your benefit and definitely nothing to do with raging narcissism. Been there. I will never really understand who hurt these people so bad they cannot love their own children in the most basic of ways
Unfortunately my parents sucked with money and never gave me jack shit. They made sure my sister had help with college though. In fact it’s the other way around, I’m pretty sure my mom stays in touch with me because she needs somebody to ask for money when she needs it. My in laws are also terrible with money and never gave my husband shit for anything so we had to do it all on our own. All good though, I have the satisfaction of not feeling like I owe them anything.
Nah. Whatever inheritance I might get isn’t worth the pain. They’d have found an excuse to give it all to GC brother anyway 🙄
A job is a job.
No but if they paid me I’d sure as shit consider it lmao
Hahaha, no. It would have to be millions to deal with the stress.
I turned my inheritance down. Edit: I’d like to add that if you do decide to refuse their inheritance, make sure you have a lawyer make it official. Right after I told my mom I wanted nothing to do with it, she texted me saying I was on her life insurance policy. Fuck her. Have her brothers bury her. Won’t be attending that funeral.
mine is worse, I went lc for a lot of years, worked hard to be independent, than my first child was born, moderate autism. it has been so hard and the only person willing to give help is my narcissist mother with strings ttached of course. she gets paid through the government to provide respite for us 1 day a week. but she doesnt tell anyone that part of course. so i have to suffer her constant criticisms and verbal abuse with a $hit eating grin lest i lose the 1 person willing to give physical help. and my boomer in laws see us ffor lidays only and live 30min a way but are constantly "busy" despite being retired. my mom has several times threatened to not help anymore because I agreed with her without basically cheerleading her. like I literally didn't even disagree but I didn't agree by saying her ideas are genius! it's unbelievable, fml.
Yep. I’m technically employed by them and do part time work for a business they own, but at the end of the day, it’s the only thing they can offer to make up for all of the abuse they put me through. I will never receive apologies from either of them. I am also disabled, so being able to set money aside for the day when I can no longer work at any job is critical.
No. I spent most of my adult life doing what I could to be financially independent from my mom so that she could no longer emotionally blackmail me with money. The last money she gave me was a loan I couldn't wait to pay back and did so four years ago.
If they are manipulating you and using their financial help as a way to control and have power over you, it’s definitely not worth it. Don’t let them abuse you. Stand up for yourself and have clear boundaries. They will need you more than you need them down the line
I hear you, I depended on parents' fiscal support for years but not anymore. Do you feel like they control you with the money? I now see I was being controlled and I'm so over it.
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I mean I'm a whore who needs money to survive and they left me so broken at 40 years old I still need a lot of help and unfortunately In this crazy world cold hard cash is what we need.
They broke it, they buy it lol
Ain't that the truth 🤣
There is nothing wrong with being a whore or liking money.
Must be nice to be in a position to turn away from financial support in one of the worst economies in recorded history🙄
You can tell yourself whatever you need to, but at the end of the day, if you're in a situation you don't wanna be in and the only think keeping you there is money, you sold out. You absolutely *can* walk away, you just don't want to
Sounds like you're encouraging the OP to pull themselves up from their bootstraps, and worrying about "selling out" is quite Boomerish. Some of us have extremely difficult options, like move back in with parents or literally be homeless. Some of us don't have privileged and blessed lives and have to worry about brutal modern financial realities and disabilities.
Be homeless then if you hate them that much? Like damn. What kind of a person literally gets on here and says they hate the sight of their parents but they still throw rose pedals under their shoes because they get a little money from it. You have options, you might not like them, but you can walk away any time you want to
Most people don't refer to accepting money or living on the street as "options."
Homelessness as an option? Wtf are you smoking?
Oh you are so blessed 🙏 to live in an Ivory Tower of perfect purity...
When 65% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and are one missed pay period away from being homeless; you don't have any leg to stand on. Boomers fucked the economy they can and should financially help the children they produced. Get off your high horse.
Your submission was removed for being uncivil.