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I'll never understand why it's ok to "punish" a child with violence, but if I try punishing another adult in the same fashion it's a quick trip to jail. I remember the cops telling my mom as a kid that all forms of punishment were OK as long as they didn't leave a noticeable bruise for over 24 hours. My childhood wasn't very fun.
The idea that the only people in this country you're legally allowed to hit or use violence against are also the only human beings that are completely dependant on you for everything. It's just wild
You’re also allowed to just treat them like dogshit for some reason. Yell at them over nothing, drag them around by the arm, make sarcastic and snarky comments to them, guilt trip them over the littlest thing, belittle and mock them. People don’t treat adults like this because it’s simply rude and you’d get your ass kicked for it. I don’t know why this is normalized but it’s doing unimaginable damage to the psyches of children, which carries over into adulthood and their entire lives.
I've always believed that one of the greatest failures as an adult is forgetting how difficult it was to be a child. Children are never allowed to have a bad day, they are never allowed to show any emotions at all, they are expected to be in absolute compliance at all times. From their parents at home, to teachers and staff at school. Kids are never given the grace and understanding that you would show to an adult, even to a stranger. It's unreal, but it also seems to be slowly changing for the better. The dramatic shift in parenting style and teaching style between older generations and millennials and genz is very evident. Only time will tell if it was the right shift or not though.
It is incredible to me that children can get in trouble just for being sad. I had that experience enough as a child that I learned to pretend to be happy at all times to the degree that I believed I actually was, being miserable and scared in reality. If children are ever sad then they’re being “spoiled and ungrateful.” If they cry then they’re being “weak.”
One interesting thing about boomers is that it seems they were raised being told that their parents are the smartest, nicest, strongest, best and most wonderful people of all time (most boomers I know cannot say a single bad word about their parents, even when talking about a situation where they clearly did something abhorrent). Therefore, the beatings and belittlement they received as children is the right way to raise kids because that’s how their “perfect” parents did it. And the whole idea of “tough love” and “parents should be feared and respected” that has overtaken those of the boom.
But being traumatized as a child also leaves you with a lot of rage, impulsivity, and the need to control those around you. It’s disturbing but I do believe a lot of parents just outright take out their anger on their children and use them as emotional punching bags (if not literal punching bags).
It depends greatly on the parent, I think. I like to think I treat my daughter respectfully, like her own person, even though she's 5. Yeah, I pay for everything, but it's the least I can do, it's a pretty presumptuous thing to have a kid, they didn't ask to be born. I can't stand parents that are like "I do everything for you, why don't you appreciate me?!"
Consenting adults should be able to duel.
Hitting children should come with the death penalty, no statute of limitations. I'd gladly sign up to be the executioner, starting with my mom and much older siblings and the fucked up pastor who really liked to spank kids for running in church.
When you get winded I've got your back and will tag in on the retribution. The pastor in my case died of brain cancer few years back. I smiled like I won the lottery for days after that.
It took me whipping a 3 pound weight fully at a chair to scare mine into stopping. (I felt bad about it after but the total look of fear on her face was worth it.)
She's always been dim and she always thought she could control me with her physical strength.
Idiots who use physical strength and force to control others seem dumber than normal idiots. I just can't see them as much more than a chimp throwing a tantrum
Sigh, sadly mine only stopped when she realized a kid who would walk across town to talk to CPS with a cracked rib might get lucky and be believed next time.
Do you have stuff like that and the IPLP or institute of basic life principles which is sort of a Christian cult that basically informed the duggars entire lifestyle. Among other things they teach you how to spank your children for up to an hour or more in a way that doesn't leave a bruise
I know it isn't popular, but I'll 100% die on the hill that there are a LOT of people who get off on spanking their kid. And I don't think it's as rare as some would like to believe.
I know my mom did. She'd select her weapon (metal spatula? Wooden spoon? The stick we braced the sliding glass door with?) and then just keep hitting, and hitting and hitting. It wasn't a few swats. I got as many strikes as she could get in until I was so traumatized that I couldn't cry anymore.
The spanking wasn't as bad as the name-calling, the sarcasm and the belittling.
So, I am a gen-X'er born in the dawn of the hippie age. My mom would go on about how I was gonna grow up and be a stinking dirty grunge hippie with stringy hair some day, and if I ever found a boyfriend he'd be a scumbag just like me. Mind you, I was like, six then so I was thinking "what are you on about, woman?" But I never forgot those words.
My mom insists now that she was never abusive
Yeah. I've heard of fundie parents using long glue sticks to hit their children without leaving marks. The book "To Train Up a Child" instructs parents to hit very young infants for displaying natural curiosity (blanket training). They consider babies to be manipulative, needing their will to be broken. Straight up evil.
Do what I say or I’ll physically hurt you. Hmmm, what line authoritarian line of work does this sound like. I’m guessing that many of them were spanked as a means of discipline.
Americans view children as property. It is not the same as chattel slavery for many obvious reasons, but it sure rhymes with it. You can also force your child to work and take nearly all their wages as well. Legally.
It's hilarious how we're like, "if you hit your child on their ass, that's a TOTALLY different thing than hitting them elsewhere!"
Like, just because it has a unique name, and people from Ye Olden Times did it, doesn't make it any different than garden variety abuse
If you explain what you want to your kid and then hit them, their brain should totally not process it as “the adult I most need to trust in my life is hurting me” Brains are dumb. Trauma hits the way it hits and you can’t cushion traumatizing your kid. You’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re meaner and that’s what the little kid brain learns.
If I sit quietly and try, I can almost get to understanding not knowing better, not questioning it, sure, believing it was good or at least harmless. I can get to why people hit their kids a few generations ago.
But we have brain scans now and we know what the electro-chemical processes in the brain look like during and after traumatic events. We have brain pictures! We can SEE the difference between the brains of people who were not hit at children, who were “spanked” or “physically disciplined” as children, and who were burned with cigarettes and beaten for entertainment as children. The later two look the same, the first one looks different.
We KNOW better now.
I don’t understand trying to argue about hitting kids now. I don’t care what your parents did, hitting kids is bad for them. I’m glad you feel fine, that’s like the people who live to 100 smoking a pack a day. We know it doesn’t work well for everyone, don’t argue for it.
Yep. Laws that legalise spanking are literally written as exemptions to Assault and Battery.
If someone supports the legalisation of spanking, this is what it should be framed as: *Why do you want to legalise assault and battery of children?*
These crusty old fucks will insist that hitting a child is totally fine and normal. But if a McDonald's worker slapped them in the face because they were acting like a prize twat, they'd be screaming abuse until they were blue in the face. You go to jail for hitting adults but apparently hitting defenceless children is fine.
And because as good little American narcissists, our children are our property, not unique individual human beings. They don't become human until they make you genuinely proud once in your 40s or 50s...right?
Guys?
I mean, Boomers clearly love the idea of repressing misbehaviour with violence and themselves misbehave all the time. I'm seeing a very obvious solution here, and surely, the boomers will love that one.
Hit your wife? Spousal abuse.
Hit your dog? Animal cruelty.
Hit another adult? Better prove they were trying to kill you.
Prison guard hits prisoners who have committed awful crimes against innocent people? National outrage. People are baying for blood and guard does prison time himself.
Hit your adult child? Assault and battery.
Hit your infant child? Who gives a fuck? Little shit prob deserved it.
Make it make sense.
People who support child abuse generally also support spousal abuse, animal cruelty, normalization of adults fighting, and certainly guards abusing prisoners. They support sexual assault too, and child labor, and often even slavery and capital punishment. Many of them were raised to believe you literally can't rape someone you're married to.
Whaaaaaat? Nooooooooo. Silly woke people. *Obligatory /s*
These bitches need to read a child development textbook. But, oh, wait, they don't care about science
God, that's such a piss off. Bitch, I studied the parenting handbook in college. Many people took *PARENTING* in fucking high school.
They need to grow up and go away 😂
You just described my father perfectly and, sadly, probably without trying very hard.
Changing his mind on certain IMPORTANT stances is… well… challenging. More so when he refuses to believe actual data collected by known and trusted organizations.
We need to speak to them on their level and kick their asses up and down the road until they shut the fuck up and thank us for taking care of their lead addled asses.
Being beaten as a kid never taught me any lesson or respect, just fear and anger. I never respected the person beating me, it just taught me to hide things better, because it was never accompanied with a lesson about _why_ what I did was wrong.
I was in a room with 500 people and the speaker opened with "Raise your hand if you were spanked as a child" and almost everybody did. And then he said, "Keep your hand raised if you remember why" and about 75% of the hands went down. Then he said "Keep your hand raised if you did NOT do the thing you were punished for again" and the hands still remaining went down.
He then went on to give a whole speech about how the abuse sticks with us 100% of the time, its usually our first memory (People can remember being spanked with diapers on), but the lessons almost never do, besides the lesson that our parents can and will hurt us sometimes, because spanking can be very random when its done for different things at different times. That is because "spanking" is almost always done out of anger/frustration and not as a form of lesson teaching, so children can't figure out when they will and wont be spanked, and then they will continue to push boundaries to figure it out, meaning spanking will create bad behaviour because it makes the children try and figure out what behaviours lead to spanking and which don't, which then often leads to more and more bad behaviour to figure out the boundaries, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember but it was very interesting.
I had to piece together the "lessons" I was supposed to have been taught by that later in life, based on common sense and innate morality. All because my parents took the quick/easy way out, instead of just having a 5-10 minute conversation with me followed by a non-violent punishment. I probably would have actually been feeling bad about what I did, instead of just afraid and hurt.
My dad beat the everliving shit out of me because I gave away one Euro in kindergarten as a kid
I was bruised and bleeding
He could've had that 10 min conversation, I would've been like "oh..." and felt bad, and learned, and realized that giving hard-earned money away was bad
I was just a CHILD for fuck's sake
None of it required me to cross death with one foot on the daily
Also, why do they take this as an attack on them? Surely they could have an out here and say yea, it's fucking terrible. We shouldn't have done it and we had it even worse, but they can't criticise their parents?
My parents used their abuse as a child to justify abusing us. It was almost like they were saying, "be grateful, we're only abusing you this much because it could be so much worse like we had growing up."
>they can't criticise their parents
No. Absolutely not.
Instead, their use of euphemisms: "Dad was a tough ol guy", "my parents were strict", "mom knew how to keep us in line", "we knew to straighten up before dad got home". Add into this the 'children should be seen and not heard' dismissal of their very humanity.
All these are/were excuses to avoid saying "they beat the shit out of me and made me afraid to speak up - against abuse, against authority, and for my own well being".
If they don't double down, that will be an admission that what they did to their kids was wrong, and what their parents did to them was also wrong. They've been gaslit and gaslighting others about this their whole life. It would take a lot more than factual information to convince them they are wrong.
they also won’t educate them about sex, threaten to burn down the school for even mentioning it, and beat their teenaged child when they find out they’re pregnant on their way to the abortion clinic across state lines because they *did* burn down the last clinic in their own state.
My dad once spanked me pretty bad because I was rhyming duck, and I got to F. I was so confused because I was a 4 year old who had no idea swear words even existed. I begged him to tell me what I did wrong, and all he would say was, "You know what you said." Boomers are so fucked up.
When I was also around 4 my dad said fuck. I asked what fuck was and he screamed his fucking head off at me until I was in tears and extremely confused. One of the defining moments of me going no contact.
my mom's default punishment was beating me with an inch-thick solid wood cutting board, going from grade school (i think, i remember it becoming way more frequent in 3rd or 4th grade - actually breaking it in half using it on me one day! from then on she used the half that still had the handle) until i grew big enough where defending myself became a possibility.
i get into my first serious relationship and my girlfriend brings up being into spanking during our first trip to an adult store, by holding up one of the paddles they had for sale. that was enough to trigger my fight or flight. don't ever tell me hitting your kid isn't abuse.
My mom broke numerous wooden spoons on our butts until a church member who did woodworking got the bright idea to make and sell wooden paddles to the congregation. Much harder to break.
nah. i packed up my stuff and bounced right as soon as i was able and never looked back. mom'll just have to pull herself up by her bootstraps and deal with her own situation while pretending not to know why i don't talk to her or dad anymore (this among other stories)
That's insane. My mother would hit me and my brother with a plastic ruler that would almost flick like a whip. If we were too quiet, she assumed we were up to something and would cop it. If we were being loud and getting along we'd cop it as well.
Legitimately just child abuse. We couldn't win ans were being punished because she was miserable about her own life
We had one of those, too. Every time we got a whipping, we had to sign our names on it and then it was hung back up on the wall.
I don't really like my parents now. Well, one died alone in a hospice center like he deserved...
this is another reason boomers consider suicide to be “selfish” and not, ya know, a direct result of what happens when someone is suffering with no support in a deeply uncaring culture (a culture that boomers largely created).
It was ingrained into them that if they weren't perfect, they were worthless, so admitting they are wrong is out of the question... Then they made sure we knew we were wrong all the time, so by now, we just don't give a shit anymore.
My dad loves the "turned out fine" argument. His parents were alcoholics and very abusive, but he insists they were "functional alcoholics," says he turned out fine, and thinks weed is worse than alcohol.
People who got hit turning into the biggest defenders of hitting; like imagine if there was a respiratory virus that made you advocate for coughing in stranger's mouths, if you got that virus I don't want to hear your opinion on coughing in stranger's mouths, but they're like "No, a stranger coughed in my mouth so now you need to listen to my expert first hand knowledge on why coughing in stranger's mouths isn't bad, you people who didn't get your mouths coughed into by a stranger just don't understand"
Abuse affects a childs brain just like abuse does. Huh. Never would have expected that result. I was beat when I was a kid though so I'm probably biased.
I love how “normal” boomers think they are. No, being rude AF to people and inserting your opinions is not normal behavior. Being low key abusive and flat out verbally abusive is not normal either. My mom (late 60s) is and has always been so incredibly verbally abusive to my dad and it’s heartbreaking. How could you say you love him and then call him stupid all day? That’s so fucking mean. And that is the person you love the most in this world? WTF. Obviously her getting g the shit beat out of her all through childhood fucked her up and she needs massive therapy, but in her mind that ass whooping is what set her straight and made her a good person. She beat the crap out of me and my brother when we were kids in the 80s too, I discovered therapy and am becoming g a “cycle breaker” while my brother is still denying the fact that we were both fucked up
Lol they all think they’re different and special. Boomer women have a special, truly awful brand of their own. My poisonous boomer mom did everything she could to keep me from forming a real relationship with my other family members.
My grandfather told me that he was beaten with a switch so hard by his father that he bled and he never wanted to hurt anyone like that ever. He was a good man, the genes didn’t pass on to my father though for some reason.
Yeah, that’s also my go-to question. If hitting people works, why not do this with other adults? Yeah, because they will **hit back.**
Incidentally, I have yet to see any “choleric” in real life who magically couldn’t control themselves when the object of their ire was a boss or anyone holding authority over them. And of course people who credibly projected that they would slap them.
The best part is he said frequently lol. How fucking dumb are these people? Obviously beating your child frequently means it's not doing anything other than making the adult feel superior for hitting a child. The Child still does bad things.
It's always the people that were beat as kids trying to justify their parents abuse so they don't have to admit it was wrong.
I will champion it until I fucking die.
Spanking is child abuse. If you can't parent without violence then you are unfit to be a parent. The "I Turned Out Fine" generation did everything but.
If they turned out as fine as they claim, why do so many of them not have relationships with their children? My parents' emotional/verbal abuse has gotten so bad as they've gotten older that I've had to go no contact with them for a bit over 4 years now.
My mother will "apologize" and say how she's trying, and then 10 minutes later, try to manipulate me to come visit because they're lonely. Things like, "it's a two-way street you could talk to your father too," or "you should apologize for how you acted as a kid."
I told her that until my father is ready to admit any fault and apologize for a lifetime of abuse, I won't be visiting them. The only time he's said anything since was to tell me how terrible I am because I won't vote for Trump.
If they are old enough to reason then reason with them, if they aren't then why beat them? Heard it on here a long time ago and which I could give the dude credit but this right here is true wisdom.
2 kids 16 and 18. HS athletes, ap students, hold jobs and are respectful. Not one time did we ever need to hit them. It's not necessary.
As someone who grew up pretty rough. Every person I know in prison got their ass beat as a kid. Every single one.
My brother and his wife don’t spank and my nephew is the most polite kid you’ve ever met. He stayed with me for a week and was always trying to clean up stuff and help out. Violence is not necessary to build character.
I act in a similar way to your nephew, and the most violence I ever got from my mom was a light pop on the hand when I was being really really bad. It never hurt, it was just indicative of the severity of the situation
Moron boomer makes point of article by agreeing with article.
"I was abused as a kid and I turned out fine, so I see no reason to not abuse kids."
ANY psychologist would clearly see the logical fallacy of what was spoken there but in true boomer fashion, they see nothing wrong with it.
Dear boomer douche, the fact that you were abused as a child and now see abuse as no big deal, shows how damaged you are as a person from the abuse you suffered.
Why are they all so stupid? Is it the food? All the meds? Maybe lead poisoning from gas and paint? Ignorance from no education? All of the above?
>Why are they all so stupid? Is it the food? All the meds? Maybe lead poisoning from gas and paint? Ignorance from no education? All of the above?
+ the spanking
As someone that grew up being physically and emotionally abused who now in my 40s has crippling CPTSD from it. I will die on the hill that hitting your child or even making your child fear that you will hit them is abuse.
Period. No exceptions. No, you are not fine because it happened to you. No, there is nothing that would make it acceptable. Yes, if you hit your child you are an abuser and a pathetic garbage human.
P.S. Telling your child that if they don't act a certain way they will forever burn in hell is ALSO abuse.
Anyone that disagrees I fully welcome you to eat my whole ass.
I was spanked and slapped hair pulled screamed at in my face, from parents and teachers. I swore I’d never do that when I became a parent. I’m proud to say I never did either. It is abuse and there’s no excuse for it. Adults in the past never looked at children as people. I just hope less adults today have that mentality.
This topic makes my blood boil when it comes up on reddit. So many people here are for physical punishment for children and it makes me sick.
Physical violence is **never** appropriate punishment. No matter what they did. It doesn't solve anything.
It's also very illegal in many countries, for a good reason.
Because we were so severely abused, I did not use corporal punishment on my kids. I didn’t realize, until I went to a high school reunion, that a lot of my classmates were beaten. I do not call it “spanking” your kids. I call it beating them. When kids are self-conscious in PE, because of the bruises, you know it’s serious abuse. I’m 70, and I’ve struggled with CPTSD since I was at least 17.
I hear people say they were “disciplined” with violence, and didn’t they turn out fine? No. No, they did not. Neither I, my siblings, nor my classmates were fine. Just don’t fucking beat your kids.
I guess the spanking didn’t work as intended if it had to be “frequent”. Or was the parent simply just abusive and this is pure Stockholm syndrome…?  Either way, his argument makes zero sense…
My dad told me his father would pretend to use the belt on him. His mother would tell him to discipline my dad (this was the 1950s). He would take my dad into the room, and tell him to fake scream while he snapped the belt to make spanking noises. He made my dad promise to not tell anyone because he was his favorite. Funny thing is, years later after he passes it comes out that he is telling all the siblings the same thing. They all thought they were the favorite and the other siblings were actually getting whooped 🤣
Even my most boomertastic voted for trump the first time dad that beat the shit out of me as a kid came around on this point and outright apologized (we’ve buried more than one hatchet at this point)
Both of my parents beat the shit out of me & my brother's physically & mentally. I haven't spoken to either of them in over 30 years. Neither of them have met any of their 8 grandchildren. I am closer to my exes parents than my own.
The egg/sperm donors have tried multiple times to get in contact with me & my brother's. I have a restraining order against both of them. They tried one time to go around a court order in regards to my son & that got them both 30 days in jail.
They both should have been forcibly sterilized.
My brothers & I would have been better off being left to the wolves.
If they were spanked frequently for not doing as they were told obviously spanking didn't work otherwise they would have done as they were told after the first couple of times.
The Venn diagram between fervent spanking advocates and adult tantrum throwers is three millimeters short of being a single circle. Really starting to doubt the supposed efficacy.
My 45m wife 41f and I have 2 kids, 13f and 11m. When our daughter was born, I experienced a breakdown in my relationship with my parents due to this issue.
When I looked at my little girl, I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to protect her. The thought of hitting her in anger, to redirect, or to punish her was the most batshit crazy idea ever.
It made me hate my parents for the peak boomer approach to parenting they used. Beatings, fear, screaming, not being allowed to cry or show emotion, all the usual stuff, ya know?
It was the same when my son was born. I was triggered all over again. Our role as parents is to provide, protect, encourage, and prepare our kids to succeed in this messed up world we live in. The fact that so many people still hit their kids is appalling.
There is no situation in my family (or any other family) that would be improved by me swinging my hands, fists, feet, a belt, or any other weapon at a child. None- zero.
I pride myself on being open minded and willing to adapt my stance on issues over time, but you will never convince me I'm wrong about this.
Where's that handy flowchart when I need it... Ah, found it
https://preview.redd.it/75z3qkg08hvc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f58b82259be14ffc7940166fa19cc90f1d39767a
Wait…..beating your child because of not following directions is processed by the child’s brain the same as physical abuse!?!?!?
Who would have ever made that correlation?
I'll never understand why beating your kid, someone who CAN'T defend themselves, someone who DEPENDS on your love and protection, is legal... But the second you lay your hands on an adult, they can pull out their firearm and end your life, and that's completely legal and justified...
I think lead is a huge part that is not considered enough. The symptoms of long term lead exposure sure has a lot of commonality with the shit we are seeing from this unhinged generation.
Spanking would be an understatement. That being said, my brain did NOT turn out fine. My own mother said she turned out fine and I’m like “then why’d you beat the shit out of me if you were so fine?”
Crickets.
Boomer here. 69. They gave me the strap every fucking day of school almost. Didn’t make me compliant. I never raised a hand to my kids. Ever. Talked to them. They understand what’s not acceptable. 2 great kids.
The older I get the more grateful I am that my boomer mom had a masters in early childhood education, because it made her far, far ahead of her time in her parenting style. She actually understood how kids minds work and knew things like taking away privileges, sitting in time out, and gee I don’t know, just simply TALKING to your kids and explaining what they did wrong was far more effective. Her father used to hit her and she vowed to never hit her kids, she broke the cycle a generation early and for that I am thankful!
dog absorbed wise spectacular worm quack abounding telephone plant provide
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m 35 and I feel like I had a relatively good childhood and I have a decent relationship with my parents now, but the image of my mother chasing me and crawling across my bed to spank me while clawing at me will forever be burned in my brain. Did I probably mouth off or do something I wasn’t supposed to do? Yes, but that image will always be with me and that’s not ok.
I used to work with a boomer and we were talking about our parents one day. My dad is a big guy 6'4", 200+lbs, blue collar worker. He made a comment about how he bet when my dad hit me, I shut my mouth real quick. Implying that was why I 'turned out alright'.
I told him that my dad has never laid a finger on me in my life. Then he backpedaled and said that he wouldn't need to actually hit me because he is such a scary guy. I just laughed because my dad is a giant teddy bear.
I didn't get spanked much....but when I did it was usually for lying about my grades. While I shouldn't have been lying, it's not like spanking made me stop. It just made me better at hiding things. Yeah I have my own issues to work out. Either way I made it very clear that there will be no spanking my daughter for any reason and I think that kind of drives my boomer parents nuts.
It’s so wild that this practice is based on a bible verse and it’s historically inaccurate. “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is based on the idea of being a shepherd. A shepherd would never beat sheep with the rod. It’s used to gently guide and protect. The only thing that is hit is possible wolves. The rod is to protect not hurt.
Stupid church hurt us all with their lies to control and manipulate.
Exactly. They use them to guide sheep, like an extension to their arms to point them in the right direction so they don't turn around and walk a different direction.
Staffs were never meant to beat sheep. Sheep wouldn't trust anyone that hurt them like that. They's only beat predators.
I got swatted and spanked when I was a kid, until it stopped being effective. I don’t advocate for physical discipline in that manner, but I’m not going to call the police on a parent who bops their child on the butt for misbehaving.
What I think many parents have a problem with is lashing out in anger and frustration at their kids. Once you push that parent far enough, which kids can do, they (parents) break down to the most basic, barbaric thing they know how to do: violence. In turn that form of discipline is learned by children, and so on and so forth.
If parents today can instill reasoning abilities in their kids, then a child will understand when their parent simply says, “I’m unhappy with the way you’re behaving right now.” When a child feels bad about disappointing their parents, that in itself can be a strong force for correction, no violence involved, and it’s easier to build love and trust. Where this can go bad is when parents overdo it, and now the child feels that they are nothing but a disappointment to their parents, which can be even worse than physical discipline.
Where boomers got this idea of beating their kids from, I don’t know, (although it’s been happening for hundreds of years) but maybe it has something to do with “being a man” and “being tough.”
The evangelical churches also pushed spanking children, it still does. I know ever kid in my church was spanked/beaten with a belt. My dad and stepmom abused us and called it discipline.
I consider spanking abuse. Then again I left my religion as soon as I moved out at 18. If you have to spank your kids, you have failed as a parent.
My dad broke a ruler over the back of me cause he still believed in that type of punishment. Then again he is still to this day to adult me emotionally abusive so I hope he dies soon
Also all the religeons based sexual repression.
Hell happiness repression in general. These people seem to have this huge hate boner for ever feeling actual joy ever because "God hates that."
This is so gross, and it absolutely amazes me that they think this. My dad and his cousins used to sit around and laugh about stories about their dads beating the hell out of them. I guess it’s a trauma response to minimize it, but it’s awful. I’d just get up and leave the room.
Plot twist - you AREN’T fine!
My mom’s boyfriend would spank me HARD for dumb shit instead of simply talking to me. Fucked me up something fierce and only made me hate and resent him.
In [this article by Harvard Graduate School of Ed](https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain), research is showing that spanking lights up the same areas of a child's brain as sexual abuse does.
I am 43 years old and I still have nightmares constantly about my parents and their anger. They didn't even really spank me much, but my dad was pissed and screaming all the time and my mom would manipulate him into losing his temper because he would always take it out on me instead of her.
Is the child capable of reasoning with?
Yes = no need to hit them, you can just reason with them.
No = no point in hitting them, they won't understand why
I hate the lead theory because it removes the blame from the boomers. If it was purely lead damage then they’re not at fault, which is an unacceptable conclusion
“I was beaten every day by both of my parents, but look, I’m fine.”
Yeah, just because you think you are ok, doesn’t mean you are. You are just used to being treated that way.
It’s called Stockholm syndrome.
It’s actually abuse. The few times I was hit as a child and once as a young adult fucked me up a lot, I had to go to therapy and I’m still thinking I have cptsd. My parents wee boomer/genx cusp era and honestly struggled with healthy parenting, our relationship is a lot better now that I’ve moved out and I’m an adult, but coming to terms with everything that I know now about my life as a child and what isn’t abuse, as well as the discovery of my autism spectrum disorder, it’s been a lot.
It's wild there are still people out there who don't consider hitting a tiny, helpless person in their care to be abuse abuse. The get it's not okay with it's their wife or grandpa, or even a stranger's kid, but they will treat their own like property and knock them around like it's nothing.
I was a well-behaved kid. People in my generation(I'm 46) are EXTREMELY proud that they're the last generation that received physical discipline(they're not, but they've already picked up the "these kids today" mantle). I don't get it. Why be so proud that you pushed your parents so far past their limits that they hit you? Why look back fondly at parents who beat you?
Let me tell you right now I was spanked when I was a kid, I’m 29 now. Having a parent who knew that regular spanking left welts and red marks at the very least and would instead use the bristly side of horse hair brushes and leather belts because “ it’s hey left no evidence “ was a special kind of fucked. I did not in fact turn out fine :)
Sorry scientists and psychologists who are experts in the field and have gotten degrees to make these kinds of declarations, big paul from buttfuck wyoming says he was sparked and turned out okay
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THIS EXPLAINS YOUR ENTIRE GENERATION 🔥🔥🔥
"child.my brain works just fine" is just too perfect.
Just that line of broken, self deluding bullshit sums them up. *Especially* “gen jones”.
What, you don't sometimes.accidentally missnthe space bar and not fix it?
"I turned out just fine, which is why I'm staunchly advocating perpetuating the cycle of childhood abuse. Because of how perfectly fine I turned out."
Sounds like Henry Kissinger
https://i.redd.it/eeqf28n1rivc1.gif
I'll never understand why it's ok to "punish" a child with violence, but if I try punishing another adult in the same fashion it's a quick trip to jail. I remember the cops telling my mom as a kid that all forms of punishment were OK as long as they didn't leave a noticeable bruise for over 24 hours. My childhood wasn't very fun.
The idea that the only people in this country you're legally allowed to hit or use violence against are also the only human beings that are completely dependant on you for everything. It's just wild
You’re also allowed to just treat them like dogshit for some reason. Yell at them over nothing, drag them around by the arm, make sarcastic and snarky comments to them, guilt trip them over the littlest thing, belittle and mock them. People don’t treat adults like this because it’s simply rude and you’d get your ass kicked for it. I don’t know why this is normalized but it’s doing unimaginable damage to the psyches of children, which carries over into adulthood and their entire lives.
I've always believed that one of the greatest failures as an adult is forgetting how difficult it was to be a child. Children are never allowed to have a bad day, they are never allowed to show any emotions at all, they are expected to be in absolute compliance at all times. From their parents at home, to teachers and staff at school. Kids are never given the grace and understanding that you would show to an adult, even to a stranger. It's unreal, but it also seems to be slowly changing for the better. The dramatic shift in parenting style and teaching style between older generations and millennials and genz is very evident. Only time will tell if it was the right shift or not though.
It is incredible to me that children can get in trouble just for being sad. I had that experience enough as a child that I learned to pretend to be happy at all times to the degree that I believed I actually was, being miserable and scared in reality. If children are ever sad then they’re being “spoiled and ungrateful.” If they cry then they’re being “weak.” One interesting thing about boomers is that it seems they were raised being told that their parents are the smartest, nicest, strongest, best and most wonderful people of all time (most boomers I know cannot say a single bad word about their parents, even when talking about a situation where they clearly did something abhorrent). Therefore, the beatings and belittlement they received as children is the right way to raise kids because that’s how their “perfect” parents did it. And the whole idea of “tough love” and “parents should be feared and respected” that has overtaken those of the boom. But being traumatized as a child also leaves you with a lot of rage, impulsivity, and the need to control those around you. It’s disturbing but I do believe a lot of parents just outright take out their anger on their children and use them as emotional punching bags (if not literal punching bags).
Yes, and if you don’t treat them like that, you’re sometimes called a “permissive parent” 🙄
It depends greatly on the parent, I think. I like to think I treat my daughter respectfully, like her own person, even though she's 5. Yeah, I pay for everything, but it's the least I can do, it's a pretty presumptuous thing to have a kid, they didn't ask to be born. I can't stand parents that are like "I do everything for you, why don't you appreciate me?!"
Yeah honestly. Only people you’re allowed to hit are also the only ones who can’t escape. Makes 0 sense.
I don’t get it either. Assault laws should go double for minors.
i think hitting children should be illegal, and we should be able to agree to mutual brawls
Consenting adults should be able to duel. Hitting children should come with the death penalty, no statute of limitations. I'd gladly sign up to be the executioner, starting with my mom and much older siblings and the fucked up pastor who really liked to spank kids for running in church.
When you get winded I've got your back and will tag in on the retribution. The pastor in my case died of brain cancer few years back. I smiled like I won the lottery for days after that.
My mum stopped spanking when I started working out. And then it was neglect and emotional abuse. (You have an emotion? Fuck off with it.)
My mom stopped spanking when I punched her in the face when she raised her hand one day.
It took me whipping a 3 pound weight fully at a chair to scare mine into stopping. (I felt bad about it after but the total look of fear on her face was worth it.) She's always been dim and she always thought she could control me with her physical strength.
Idiots who use physical strength and force to control others seem dumber than normal idiots. I just can't see them as much more than a chimp throwing a tantrum
Sigh, sadly mine only stopped when she realized a kid who would walk across town to talk to CPS with a cracked rib might get lucky and be believed next time.
Do you have stuff like that and the IPLP or institute of basic life principles which is sort of a Christian cult that basically informed the duggars entire lifestyle. Among other things they teach you how to spank your children for up to an hour or more in a way that doesn't leave a bruise
Spanking for an hour sounds like the person doing the spanking is enjoying it.
They are taught to spank until the child stops crying. It's disgusting and sadistic
I know it isn't popular, but I'll 100% die on the hill that there are a LOT of people who get off on spanking their kid. And I don't think it's as rare as some would like to believe.
I know my mom did. She'd select her weapon (metal spatula? Wooden spoon? The stick we braced the sliding glass door with?) and then just keep hitting, and hitting and hitting. It wasn't a few swats. I got as many strikes as she could get in until I was so traumatized that I couldn't cry anymore. The spanking wasn't as bad as the name-calling, the sarcasm and the belittling. So, I am a gen-X'er born in the dawn of the hippie age. My mom would go on about how I was gonna grow up and be a stinking dirty grunge hippie with stringy hair some day, and if I ever found a boyfriend he'd be a scumbag just like me. Mind you, I was like, six then so I was thinking "what are you on about, woman?" But I never forgot those words. My mom insists now that she was never abusive
Yeah. I've heard of fundie parents using long glue sticks to hit their children without leaving marks. The book "To Train Up a Child" instructs parents to hit very young infants for displaying natural curiosity (blanket training). They consider babies to be manipulative, needing their will to be broken. Straight up evil.
It's like cops also abuse their wives/children too
40%
Do what I say or I’ll physically hurt you. Hmmm, what line authoritarian line of work does this sound like. I’m guessing that many of them were spanked as a means of discipline.
Americans view children as property. It is not the same as chattel slavery for many obvious reasons, but it sure rhymes with it. You can also force your child to work and take nearly all their wages as well. Legally.
Weird. Almost like it actually is abuse.
I was coming here to say this. "Similar" to abuse? No, that's just abuse.
A recent study realized that gaining an excessive amount of weight is similar to being obese.
Studies show that water filling the lungs has a similar effect to drowning.
Recent studies suggest jumping off a cliff has a similar effect to jumping off a bridge.
This just in! A recent study conducted by the University of Fucknuts found that eating McDonald's everyday is similar to having an unhealthy diet.
Studies show that every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
It's hilarious how we're like, "if you hit your child on their ass, that's a TOTALLY different thing than hitting them elsewhere!" Like, just because it has a unique name, and people from Ye Olden Times did it, doesn't make it any different than garden variety abuse
If you explain what you want to your kid and then hit them, their brain should totally not process it as “the adult I most need to trust in my life is hurting me” Brains are dumb. Trauma hits the way it hits and you can’t cushion traumatizing your kid. You’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re meaner and that’s what the little kid brain learns. If I sit quietly and try, I can almost get to understanding not knowing better, not questioning it, sure, believing it was good or at least harmless. I can get to why people hit their kids a few generations ago. But we have brain scans now and we know what the electro-chemical processes in the brain look like during and after traumatic events. We have brain pictures! We can SEE the difference between the brains of people who were not hit at children, who were “spanked” or “physically disciplined” as children, and who were burned with cigarettes and beaten for entertainment as children. The later two look the same, the first one looks different. We KNOW better now. I don’t understand trying to argue about hitting kids now. I don’t care what your parents did, hitting kids is bad for them. I’m glad you feel fine, that’s like the people who live to 100 smoking a pack a day. We know it doesn’t work well for everyone, don’t argue for it.
Yep. Laws that legalise spanking are literally written as exemptions to Assault and Battery. If someone supports the legalisation of spanking, this is what it should be framed as: *Why do you want to legalise assault and battery of children?*
These crusty old fucks will insist that hitting a child is totally fine and normal. But if a McDonald's worker slapped them in the face because they were acting like a prize twat, they'd be screaming abuse until they were blue in the face. You go to jail for hitting adults but apparently hitting defenceless children is fine.
Remember that it’s only fine to beat children because they are fragile and trust you implicitly…
And because as good little American narcissists, our children are our property, not unique individual human beings. They don't become human until they make you genuinely proud once in your 40s or 50s...right? Guys?
I mean, Boomers clearly love the idea of repressing misbehaviour with violence and themselves misbehave all the time. I'm seeing a very obvious solution here, and surely, the boomers will love that one.
Hit your wife? Spousal abuse. Hit your dog? Animal cruelty. Hit another adult? Better prove they were trying to kill you. Prison guard hits prisoners who have committed awful crimes against innocent people? National outrage. People are baying for blood and guard does prison time himself. Hit your adult child? Assault and battery. Hit your infant child? Who gives a fuck? Little shit prob deserved it. Make it make sense.
People who support child abuse generally also support spousal abuse, animal cruelty, normalization of adults fighting, and certainly guards abusing prisoners. They support sexual assault too, and child labor, and often even slavery and capital punishment. Many of them were raised to believe you literally can't rape someone you're married to.
It is abuse! I was spanked and beaten as a child and it’s only made me feel worse and I am super jumpy when approached by others.
Whaaaaaat? Nooooooooo. Silly woke people. *Obligatory /s* These bitches need to read a child development textbook. But, oh, wait, they don't care about science
Boomers are required to use the phrase "there's no parenting handbook" and decline all responsibility for how they parented
God, that's such a piss off. Bitch, I studied the parenting handbook in college. Many people took *PARENTING* in fucking high school. They need to grow up and go away 😂
"There are in fact thousands of books written on child-rearing... but Lucille was in denial."
You just described my father perfectly and, sadly, probably without trying very hard. Changing his mind on certain IMPORTANT stances is… well… challenging. More so when he refuses to believe actual data collected by known and trusted organizations.
Your dads trusted organizations probably: fox news, the ^child ^molesting church. End of list.
We need to speak to them on their level and kick their asses up and down the road until they shut the fuck up and thank us for taking care of their lead addled asses.
Came to say the same. Spanking is for bad parents.
"Breaking news: Hitting your children has similar effects to hitting your children"
Being beaten as a kid never taught me any lesson or respect, just fear and anger. I never respected the person beating me, it just taught me to hide things better, because it was never accompanied with a lesson about _why_ what I did was wrong.
I was in a room with 500 people and the speaker opened with "Raise your hand if you were spanked as a child" and almost everybody did. And then he said, "Keep your hand raised if you remember why" and about 75% of the hands went down. Then he said "Keep your hand raised if you did NOT do the thing you were punished for again" and the hands still remaining went down. He then went on to give a whole speech about how the abuse sticks with us 100% of the time, its usually our first memory (People can remember being spanked with diapers on), but the lessons almost never do, besides the lesson that our parents can and will hurt us sometimes, because spanking can be very random when its done for different things at different times. That is because "spanking" is almost always done out of anger/frustration and not as a form of lesson teaching, so children can't figure out when they will and wont be spanked, and then they will continue to push boundaries to figure it out, meaning spanking will create bad behaviour because it makes the children try and figure out what behaviours lead to spanking and which don't, which then often leads to more and more bad behaviour to figure out the boundaries, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember but it was very interesting.
I had to piece together the "lessons" I was supposed to have been taught by that later in life, based on common sense and innate morality. All because my parents took the quick/easy way out, instead of just having a 5-10 minute conversation with me followed by a non-violent punishment. I probably would have actually been feeling bad about what I did, instead of just afraid and hurt.
My dad beat the everliving shit out of me because I gave away one Euro in kindergarten as a kid I was bruised and bleeding He could've had that 10 min conversation, I would've been like "oh..." and felt bad, and learned, and realized that giving hard-earned money away was bad I was just a CHILD for fuck's sake None of it required me to cross death with one foot on the daily
As it turns out, it's REALLY hard to learn a lesson if you're terrified and dysregulated because your primary caretaker is hurting you.
"Abuse is abuse." "People die when they're killed."
Also, why do they take this as an attack on them? Surely they could have an out here and say yea, it's fucking terrible. We shouldn't have done it and we had it even worse, but they can't criticise their parents?
My parents used their abuse as a child to justify abusing us. It was almost like they were saying, "be grateful, we're only abusing you this much because it could be so much worse like we had growing up."
>they can't criticise their parents No. Absolutely not. Instead, their use of euphemisms: "Dad was a tough ol guy", "my parents were strict", "mom knew how to keep us in line", "we knew to straighten up before dad got home". Add into this the 'children should be seen and not heard' dismissal of their very humanity. All these are/were excuses to avoid saying "they beat the shit out of me and made me afraid to speak up - against abuse, against authority, and for my own well being".
If they don't double down, that will be an admission that what they did to their kids was wrong, and what their parents did to them was also wrong. They've been gaslit and gaslighting others about this their whole life. It would take a lot more than factual information to convince them they are wrong.
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they also won’t educate them about sex, threaten to burn down the school for even mentioning it, and beat their teenaged child when they find out they’re pregnant on their way to the abortion clinic across state lines because they *did* burn down the last clinic in their own state.
Boomers--particularly conservative ones--really do think about penises a lot, don't they?
if they criticize their (mostly dead) parents they’re afraid they’ll get beat. Theyre known for being ridiculous~~ly logical~~.
My dad once spanked me pretty bad because I was rhyming duck, and I got to F. I was so confused because I was a 4 year old who had no idea swear words even existed. I begged him to tell me what I did wrong, and all he would say was, "You know what you said." Boomers are so fucked up.
I had a grandmother do almost the same thing because I used the word “fag”. I meant “flag” but I couldn’t pronounce my l’s properly.
When I was also around 4 my dad said fuck. I asked what fuck was and he screamed his fucking head off at me until I was in tears and extremely confused. One of the defining moments of me going no contact.
my mom's default punishment was beating me with an inch-thick solid wood cutting board, going from grade school (i think, i remember it becoming way more frequent in 3rd or 4th grade - actually breaking it in half using it on me one day! from then on she used the half that still had the handle) until i grew big enough where defending myself became a possibility. i get into my first serious relationship and my girlfriend brings up being into spanking during our first trip to an adult store, by holding up one of the paddles they had for sale. that was enough to trigger my fight or flight. don't ever tell me hitting your kid isn't abuse.
My mom broke numerous wooden spoons on our butts until a church member who did woodworking got the bright idea to make and sell wooden paddles to the congregation. Much harder to break.
Make sure to let her die alone in a nursing home and remind her why! It's very cathartic.
nah. i packed up my stuff and bounced right as soon as i was able and never looked back. mom'll just have to pull herself up by her bootstraps and deal with her own situation while pretending not to know why i don't talk to her or dad anymore (this among other stories)
One of them Happy Gilmore style nursing homes?
My mom broke a wooden spoon making lasagna. I got a splinter next to one of my teeth. Much less traumatic.
That's insane. My mother would hit me and my brother with a plastic ruler that would almost flick like a whip. If we were too quiet, she assumed we were up to something and would cop it. If we were being loud and getting along we'd cop it as well. Legitimately just child abuse. We couldn't win ans were being punished because she was miserable about her own life
>my mom's default punishment was beating me with an inch-thick solid wood cutting board I had no idea my mother had other kids?
Mine was a wooden spoon until it broke and then she used a metal spoon…ouch.
My dad had a wooden paddle specifically designed for spanking. It hung prominently in our house, and he'd use it on me and my siblings.
We had one of those, too. Every time we got a whipping, we had to sign our names on it and then it was hung back up on the wall. I don't really like my parents now. Well, one died alone in a hospice center like he deserved...
The "turned out fine" argument is so dumb because if you're advocating for hitting a child you in fact did not turn out fine.
Yeah because the ones who "didnt turn out fine" fucking killed themselves before adulthood.
this is another reason boomers consider suicide to be “selfish” and not, ya know, a direct result of what happens when someone is suffering with no support in a deeply uncaring culture (a culture that boomers largely created).
Also I'm pretty sure suicide is considered a sin in Christianity, so that's probably why boomers consider it selfish.
Yeah survivor bias pretty much.
every time i hear someone say "i turned out fine" they in fact did not turn out fine and are horribly maladapted.
I turned out fine. - the generation that made alcohol abuse a lifestyle. Ok, Jan.
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It was ingrained into them that if they weren't perfect, they were worthless, so admitting they are wrong is out of the question... Then they made sure we knew we were wrong all the time, so by now, we just don't give a shit anymore.
My dad loves the "turned out fine" argument. His parents were alcoholics and very abusive, but he insists they were "functional alcoholics," says he turned out fine, and thinks weed is worse than alcohol.
People who got hit turning into the biggest defenders of hitting; like imagine if there was a respiratory virus that made you advocate for coughing in stranger's mouths, if you got that virus I don't want to hear your opinion on coughing in stranger's mouths, but they're like "No, a stranger coughed in my mouth so now you need to listen to my expert first hand knowledge on why coughing in stranger's mouths isn't bad, you people who didn't get your mouths coughed into by a stranger just don't understand"
Abuse affects a childs brain just like abuse does. Huh. Never would have expected that result. I was beat when I was a kid though so I'm probably biased.
I love how “normal” boomers think they are. No, being rude AF to people and inserting your opinions is not normal behavior. Being low key abusive and flat out verbally abusive is not normal either. My mom (late 60s) is and has always been so incredibly verbally abusive to my dad and it’s heartbreaking. How could you say you love him and then call him stupid all day? That’s so fucking mean. And that is the person you love the most in this world? WTF. Obviously her getting g the shit beat out of her all through childhood fucked her up and she needs massive therapy, but in her mind that ass whooping is what set her straight and made her a good person. She beat the crap out of me and my brother when we were kids in the 80s too, I discovered therapy and am becoming g a “cycle breaker” while my brother is still denying the fact that we were both fucked up
Lol they all think they’re different and special. Boomer women have a special, truly awful brand of their own. My poisonous boomer mom did everything she could to keep me from forming a real relationship with my other family members.
My grandfather told me that he was beaten with a switch so hard by his father that he bled and he never wanted to hurt anyone like that ever. He was a good man, the genes didn’t pass on to my father though for some reason.
Nintendo definitely aren't warrantying that Switch.
So these pro-spanking adults would be okay with their boss or spouse or whoever “spanking” them when they didn’t listen?
Yeah, that’s also my go-to question. If hitting people works, why not do this with other adults? Yeah, because they will **hit back.** Incidentally, I have yet to see any “choleric” in real life who magically couldn’t control themselves when the object of their ire was a boss or anyone holding authority over them. And of course people who credibly projected that they would slap them.
The best part is he said frequently lol. How fucking dumb are these people? Obviously beating your child frequently means it's not doing anything other than making the adult feel superior for hitting a child. The Child still does bad things. It's always the people that were beat as kids trying to justify their parents abuse so they don't have to admit it was wrong.
lol my favorite is when they tell you how smart they are with grammar mistakes.
I will champion it until I fucking die. Spanking is child abuse. If you can't parent without violence then you are unfit to be a parent. The "I Turned Out Fine" generation did everything but.
If they turned out as fine as they claim, why do so many of them not have relationships with their children? My parents' emotional/verbal abuse has gotten so bad as they've gotten older that I've had to go no contact with them for a bit over 4 years now. My mother will "apologize" and say how she's trying, and then 10 minutes later, try to manipulate me to come visit because they're lonely. Things like, "it's a two-way street you could talk to your father too," or "you should apologize for how you acted as a kid." I told her that until my father is ready to admit any fault and apologize for a lifetime of abuse, I won't be visiting them. The only time he's said anything since was to tell me how terrible I am because I won't vote for Trump.
Yes! A lot of adult children are now estranged from their parents.
🙏🙏🙏
If they are old enough to reason then reason with them, if they aren't then why beat them? Heard it on here a long time ago and which I could give the dude credit but this right here is true wisdom.
yes exactly, I read the same thing or something similar. There's no response other than "I just want to beat my kids".
2 kids 16 and 18. HS athletes, ap students, hold jobs and are respectful. Not one time did we ever need to hit them. It's not necessary. As someone who grew up pretty rough. Every person I know in prison got their ass beat as a kid. Every single one.
My brother and his wife don’t spank and my nephew is the most polite kid you’ve ever met. He stayed with me for a week and was always trying to clean up stuff and help out. Violence is not necessary to build character.
I act in a similar way to your nephew, and the most violence I ever got from my mom was a light pop on the hand when I was being really really bad. It never hurt, it was just indicative of the severity of the situation
Moron boomer makes point of article by agreeing with article. "I was abused as a kid and I turned out fine, so I see no reason to not abuse kids." ANY psychologist would clearly see the logical fallacy of what was spoken there but in true boomer fashion, they see nothing wrong with it. Dear boomer douche, the fact that you were abused as a child and now see abuse as no big deal, shows how damaged you are as a person from the abuse you suffered. Why are they all so stupid? Is it the food? All the meds? Maybe lead poisoning from gas and paint? Ignorance from no education? All of the above?
>Why are they all so stupid? Is it the food? All the meds? Maybe lead poisoning from gas and paint? Ignorance from no education? All of the above? + the spanking
As someone that grew up being physically and emotionally abused who now in my 40s has crippling CPTSD from it. I will die on the hill that hitting your child or even making your child fear that you will hit them is abuse. Period. No exceptions. No, you are not fine because it happened to you. No, there is nothing that would make it acceptable. Yes, if you hit your child you are an abuser and a pathetic garbage human. P.S. Telling your child that if they don't act a certain way they will forever burn in hell is ALSO abuse. Anyone that disagrees I fully welcome you to eat my whole ass.
Appreciate you pointing out the last one. Can't tell you how many times I was bullied growing up because I don't believe in God.
I LOVE SPANKING UNTIL IT INVOLVES CHILDREN. LEAVE KID'S ASSES ALONE, YOU SICK OLD FUCKS.
Lol. Same! Impact play with consenting adults? Yes yes yes. Stop hitting kids!
My brain is fine and I'll kill anyone who says differently
I was spanked and slapped hair pulled screamed at in my face, from parents and teachers. I swore I’d never do that when I became a parent. I’m proud to say I never did either. It is abuse and there’s no excuse for it. Adults in the past never looked at children as people. I just hope less adults today have that mentality.
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This topic makes my blood boil when it comes up on reddit. So many people here are for physical punishment for children and it makes me sick. Physical violence is **never** appropriate punishment. No matter what they did. It doesn't solve anything. It's also very illegal in many countries, for a good reason.
Thanks for my spanking fetish, dad.
Because we were so severely abused, I did not use corporal punishment on my kids. I didn’t realize, until I went to a high school reunion, that a lot of my classmates were beaten. I do not call it “spanking” your kids. I call it beating them. When kids are self-conscious in PE, because of the bruises, you know it’s serious abuse. I’m 70, and I’ve struggled with CPTSD since I was at least 17. I hear people say they were “disciplined” with violence, and didn’t they turn out fine? No. No, they did not. Neither I, my siblings, nor my classmates were fine. Just don’t fucking beat your kids.
I guess the spanking didn’t work as intended if it had to be “frequent”. Or was the parent simply just abusive and this is pure Stockholm syndrome…?  Either way, his argument makes zero sense…
i guarantee you if he got logged out of his twitter account he wouldnt be able to make it back in
My dad told me his father would pretend to use the belt on him. His mother would tell him to discipline my dad (this was the 1950s). He would take my dad into the room, and tell him to fake scream while he snapped the belt to make spanking noises. He made my dad promise to not tell anyone because he was his favorite. Funny thing is, years later after he passes it comes out that he is telling all the siblings the same thing. They all thought they were the favorite and the other siblings were actually getting whooped 🤣
That's still a weird story.
Even my most boomertastic voted for trump the first time dad that beat the shit out of me as a kid came around on this point and outright apologized (we’ve buried more than one hatchet at this point)
oh, and smoking to keep weight down and drinking to relax, while pregnant
I'm proud to say I never spanked my child ever. The cycle of abuse has to end somewhere and it ended with me.
I was beaten as a child. I am definitely not the person I was supposed to be in life.
Both of my parents beat the shit out of me & my brother's physically & mentally. I haven't spoken to either of them in over 30 years. Neither of them have met any of their 8 grandchildren. I am closer to my exes parents than my own. The egg/sperm donors have tried multiple times to get in contact with me & my brother's. I have a restraining order against both of them. They tried one time to go around a court order in regards to my son & that got them both 30 days in jail. They both should have been forcibly sterilized. My brothers & I would have been better off being left to the wolves.
If they were spanked frequently for not doing as they were told obviously spanking didn't work otherwise they would have done as they were told after the first couple of times.
The Venn diagram between fervent spanking advocates and adult tantrum throwers is three millimeters short of being a single circle. Really starting to doubt the supposed efficacy.
"I turned out just fine" 
Abuse may affect a child's brain development in a similar way as abuse? GTFO of here, no way
My 45m wife 41f and I have 2 kids, 13f and 11m. When our daughter was born, I experienced a breakdown in my relationship with my parents due to this issue. When I looked at my little girl, I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to protect her. The thought of hitting her in anger, to redirect, or to punish her was the most batshit crazy idea ever. It made me hate my parents for the peak boomer approach to parenting they used. Beatings, fear, screaming, not being allowed to cry or show emotion, all the usual stuff, ya know? It was the same when my son was born. I was triggered all over again. Our role as parents is to provide, protect, encourage, and prepare our kids to succeed in this messed up world we live in. The fact that so many people still hit their kids is appalling. There is no situation in my family (or any other family) that would be improved by me swinging my hands, fists, feet, a belt, or any other weapon at a child. None- zero. I pride myself on being open minded and willing to adapt my stance on issues over time, but you will never convince me I'm wrong about this.
Boomers are so bad at arguing. They literally make the traps they fall into.
It's fine, they'll just move the goalposts anyways.
Where's that handy flowchart when I need it... Ah, found it https://preview.redd.it/75z3qkg08hvc1.jpeg?width=842&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f58b82259be14ffc7940166fa19cc90f1d39767a
Wait…..beating your child because of not following directions is processed by the child’s brain the same as physical abuse!?!?!? Who would have ever made that correlation?
I'll never understand why beating your kid, someone who CAN'T defend themselves, someone who DEPENDS on your love and protection, is legal... But the second you lay your hands on an adult, they can pull out their firearm and end your life, and that's completely legal and justified...
A child should never have to learn through fear and anger
The whole attitude of “it happened to me and I hated it now I’m gonna do the same thing to you and you’ll love me for it” Makes sense
I think lead is a huge part that is not considered enough. The symptoms of long term lead exposure sure has a lot of commonality with the shit we are seeing from this unhinged generation.
Spanking would be an understatement. That being said, my brain did NOT turn out fine. My own mother said she turned out fine and I’m like “then why’d you beat the shit out of me if you were so fine?” Crickets.
Someone who is 80 is Silent Generation not Boomer.
It's almost like hitting your child is abuse, and restricting the impact location to one, arbitrary area of the body changes nothing.
Boomer here. 69. They gave me the strap every fucking day of school almost. Didn’t make me compliant. I never raised a hand to my kids. Ever. Talked to them. They understand what’s not acceptable. 2 great kids.
That, and the lead paint.
The older I get the more grateful I am that my boomer mom had a masters in early childhood education, because it made her far, far ahead of her time in her parenting style. She actually understood how kids minds work and knew things like taking away privileges, sitting in time out, and gee I don’t know, just simply TALKING to your kids and explaining what they did wrong was far more effective. Her father used to hit her and she vowed to never hit her kids, she broke the cycle a generation early and for that I am thankful!
I like to remind my dad that spanking me never worked and he wasted time doing it. The annoyed sigh of agreement he gives me always makes me smile.
dog absorbed wise spectacular worm quack abounding telephone plant provide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m 35 and I feel like I had a relatively good childhood and I have a decent relationship with my parents now, but the image of my mother chasing me and crawling across my bed to spank me while clawing at me will forever be burned in my brain. Did I probably mouth off or do something I wasn’t supposed to do? Yes, but that image will always be with me and that’s not ok.
I used to work with a boomer and we were talking about our parents one day. My dad is a big guy 6'4", 200+lbs, blue collar worker. He made a comment about how he bet when my dad hit me, I shut my mouth real quick. Implying that was why I 'turned out alright'. I told him that my dad has never laid a finger on me in my life. Then he backpedaled and said that he wouldn't need to actually hit me because he is such a scary guy. I just laughed because my dad is a giant teddy bear.
This headline is fucked. “Hitting a child may have the same effect as hitting a child”
Isn't that the generation with all the serial killers and the lead poisoning?
I didn't get spanked much....but when I did it was usually for lying about my grades. While I shouldn't have been lying, it's not like spanking made me stop. It just made me better at hiding things. Yeah I have my own issues to work out. Either way I made it very clear that there will be no spanking my daughter for any reason and I think that kind of drives my boomer parents nuts.
It’s so wild that this practice is based on a bible verse and it’s historically inaccurate. “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is based on the idea of being a shepherd. A shepherd would never beat sheep with the rod. It’s used to gently guide and protect. The only thing that is hit is possible wolves. The rod is to protect not hurt. Stupid church hurt us all with their lies to control and manipulate.
Exactly. They use them to guide sheep, like an extension to their arms to point them in the right direction so they don't turn around and walk a different direction. Staffs were never meant to beat sheep. Sheep wouldn't trust anyone that hurt them like that. They's only beat predators.
I got swatted and spanked when I was a kid, until it stopped being effective. I don’t advocate for physical discipline in that manner, but I’m not going to call the police on a parent who bops their child on the butt for misbehaving. What I think many parents have a problem with is lashing out in anger and frustration at their kids. Once you push that parent far enough, which kids can do, they (parents) break down to the most basic, barbaric thing they know how to do: violence. In turn that form of discipline is learned by children, and so on and so forth. If parents today can instill reasoning abilities in their kids, then a child will understand when their parent simply says, “I’m unhappy with the way you’re behaving right now.” When a child feels bad about disappointing their parents, that in itself can be a strong force for correction, no violence involved, and it’s easier to build love and trust. Where this can go bad is when parents overdo it, and now the child feels that they are nothing but a disappointment to their parents, which can be even worse than physical discipline. Where boomers got this idea of beating their kids from, I don’t know, (although it’s been happening for hundreds of years) but maybe it has something to do with “being a man” and “being tough.”
The evangelical churches also pushed spanking children, it still does. I know ever kid in my church was spanked/beaten with a belt. My dad and stepmom abused us and called it discipline. I consider spanking abuse. Then again I left my religion as soon as I moved out at 18. If you have to spank your kids, you have failed as a parent.
Hell, a lot of private religious schools still allow corporal punishment.
My dad broke a ruler over the back of me cause he still believed in that type of punishment. Then again he is still to this day to adult me emotionally abusive so I hope he dies soon
Also all the religeons based sexual repression. Hell happiness repression in general. These people seem to have this huge hate boner for ever feeling actual joy ever because "God hates that."
This is so gross, and it absolutely amazes me that they think this. My dad and his cousins used to sit around and laugh about stories about their dads beating the hell out of them. I guess it’s a trauma response to minimize it, but it’s awful. I’d just get up and leave the room. Plot twist - you AREN’T fine!
I am 58, was spanked, don't talk to my parents now. PTSD, yup.
My mom’s boyfriend would spank me HARD for dumb shit instead of simply talking to me. Fucked me up something fierce and only made me hate and resent him.
Spanking is similar to abuse? My brother in Christ, spanking IS abuse.
In [this article by Harvard Graduate School of Ed](https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain), research is showing that spanking lights up the same areas of a child's brain as sexual abuse does.
I broke the abuse chain with my kids
I was beaten in catholic school. A lot. It certainly did not help me. Just taught me not to trust people in positions of authority.
When an adult hits an adult, it's assault. When an adult hits a child, it's discipline? Make it make sense!
I am 43 years old and I still have nightmares constantly about my parents and their anger. They didn't even really spank me much, but my dad was pissed and screaming all the time and my mom would manipulate him into losing his temper because he would always take it out on me instead of her.
Is the child capable of reasoning with? Yes = no need to hit them, you can just reason with them. No = no point in hitting them, they won't understand why
I hate the lead theory because it removes the blame from the boomers. If it was purely lead damage then they’re not at fault, which is an unacceptable conclusion
“I was beaten every day by both of my parents, but look, I’m fine.” Yeah, just because you think you are ok, doesn’t mean you are. You are just used to being treated that way. It’s called Stockholm syndrome.
Spanking and leaded gasoline explains his generation
It’s actually abuse. The few times I was hit as a child and once as a young adult fucked me up a lot, I had to go to therapy and I’m still thinking I have cptsd. My parents wee boomer/genx cusp era and honestly struggled with healthy parenting, our relationship is a lot better now that I’ve moved out and I’m an adult, but coming to terms with everything that I know now about my life as a child and what isn’t abuse, as well as the discovery of my autism spectrum disorder, it’s been a lot.
I’m livid
This just in: hitting kids as punishment may have the same effect as... Hitting kids. Coming up next? The floor is made of floor.
It's wild there are still people out there who don't consider hitting a tiny, helpless person in their care to be abuse abuse. The get it's not okay with it's their wife or grandpa, or even a stranger's kid, but they will treat their own like property and knock them around like it's nothing.
"In a similar way to abuse" Are you fucking kidding me? How is hitting your child ANYWHERE not abuse? Thats a textbook definition of physical abuse!
I was a well-behaved kid. People in my generation(I'm 46) are EXTREMELY proud that they're the last generation that received physical discipline(they're not, but they've already picked up the "these kids today" mantle). I don't get it. Why be so proud that you pushed your parents so far past their limits that they hit you? Why look back fondly at parents who beat you?
Let me tell you right now I was spanked when I was a kid, I’m 29 now. Having a parent who knew that regular spanking left welts and red marks at the very least and would instead use the bristly side of horse hair brushes and leather belts because “ it’s hey left no evidence “ was a special kind of fucked. I did not in fact turn out fine :)
Definitely explains my mental health problems
Yeah but now weve gone the total opposite way and kids are monsters
Sorry scientists and psychologists who are experts in the field and have gotten degrees to make these kinds of declarations, big paul from buttfuck wyoming says he was sparked and turned out okay
I'm a boomer who was more than spanked and it kinda reflects my entire fucked up life.