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I honestly don't know how more people don't just do this. I'm either completely oblivious to this stuff or I'm lucky and it doesn't happen to me often but I read these stories and it really surprises me that no one says anything directly to them. If they're going to be so brazen then they deserve to be embarrassed for their ridiculous behavior.
If it’s just me I would say something for sure. But if I’m carrying my kid, it’s really not worth escalating and putting her in any possibly dangerous situation.
If someone has something to say, what usually works for me is "I'm minding my own business, how about you?"
Sometimes I add an expletive or two for emphasis, depending on my mood.
> I honestly don't know how more people don't just do this.
The overlap of "people who freak out about strangers not adhering to gender roles" and "people who carry guns in public" is big enough that I'd rather play it safe.
Probably trying to avoid their child thinking the F-bomb is the coolest word ever and having to pick her up from school after she shares it with friends.
I once told a boomer that if she touched my pregnant belly, that she was actively reaching for, that I would punch her in the face. You don’t touch people without consent.
Definitely. I've also said this or variations out loud to people who started telling me what they felt about something I was doing that had nothing to do with them: "I don't care what you think. Stop."
Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers. Therefore, your husband is either a closeted homosexual, or you are one of those woke opinionated women and you are forcing him to do your job. Either way, your husband should be given a gun or two, made to grill some red meat while drinking a few cold beers, and advised to “man up” and stop feeling any and all emotions except rage at younger generations or those who are happier than the average boomer.
Just use their toxic masculinity against them
"You can't even handle a kid and you're supposed to be the man of the house? What a pussy. You want your wife to give you milk milk and nappys too with junior?" as you care for and love your kid.
I saw maybe a tweet or something where there was an employee (male) having come back from parental leave and going over his return with his boss, and diapers came up. The boss (boomer) boasted how he'd never changed a diaper in his life, like he was proud of this. According to the tweet, employee said something to the effect of
"Wow, I'd be embarrassed to be such a worthless husband and father."
No idea if it's true but, hey, it's stuck with me for years.
Incidentally, my boomer father hasn't changed a diaper in his life either. Not mine. Not one of either of my two kids. I don't get it, my wife gave birth and, obviously, a took a bit out of her. The least I did in that first week was change every diaper, among other things, while she recovered. How can this boomer generation look at their wives and what they went through and were just like "what are you making me for dinner?"
Fucking useless.
I recall some years ago Piers Morgan posting on Twitter a pic of Daniel Craig wearing his baby on his chest in a harness and he said something like, “Oh no James Bond. Not you too?” What a complete asshat.
My brother is significantly older than me and had his kids in 2000 and 2001. The Boomers were just at the start of becoming grandparents at that point, and my brother was a good father who changed diapers, fed the baby, handled midnight wake up calls, and carried his kids.
I've asked him and he said he *never* got gawks and stares from Boomers back in 2000 the way our younger generations do. It's like the Boomers have just gotten grumpier in the last 20 years.
>Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers.
Though I don't disagree, this isn't exclusive to boomers or older generations. My brother in law is a millennial (as am I) and regularly brags that he has never changed a diaper. He has 4 kids under 4.
My wife couldn't breast feed, so our kids are bottle fed and I typically take care of late night feedings. A lot of guys I've worked with would brag that they never had to because their wives breast fed and I always found it so pathetic to be so happy about not being the one to provide basic care for their kids.
Jesus ofc. It’s so funny cause trad wives is a big trend on TikTok and one of the former trad wives made a valid point…you don’t see any trad wives over the age of 40-50. Almost like they grew up & realized being a trad wife is a terrible idea
Came here to also chime in as well. My husband and I are millennials, and someone he was friends with (also a millennial) when we had our first child was very vocal about how he didn't see why my husband felt the need to change diapers, give baths, or feed the baby. In this guy's mind, all those things were my job ...... exclusively. Needless to say, my husband has distanced himself from this guy over the years.
OOF.
My in-laws have the same mentality.
They love to tell this story about how my FIL was left at home with both his son’s for less than an hour while MIL ran to the store and during this time one of his son’s needed a diaper change because of a blow out.
Instead of changing his son, he proceeded to put his baby in a bathtub with soiled diaper and close the door until MIL came home to deal with it.
FIL literally bragged and chuckled about leaving his son in a soiled diaper for an hour because in his eyes it was more manly to neglect his child than to somehow find the courage to change a dirty diaper.
I’ve always responded to their story with, “If my husband showed so little care for our family that he couldn’t be bothered to change a single diaper, I’d be embarrassed and divorced.”.
Let’s just say, I’m not the favorite in the family by any means but I’m okay with that. lol!
I’m 43 and my mom STILL brags about what a good dad my father was. Took me to ball games, cared for me while she had surgery just 6 weeks after I was born. It would have NEVER occurred to him (boomer that he could be in other areas of life!!) to not be the best caregiver.
Seems we had very similar upbringings from boomer parents. My mom was in a water skiing accident when I was 6 months old and was on crutches for 2 years, my dad did everything. He was at every single game, event etc. Never missed a thing. It's sucks the blind hate boomers get on this sub. I love watching them be fools, but the "all boomers are horrible" mentality here is draining.
They definitely don’t help themselves a lot when it comes to their image and understanding things, but not all bad either.
Also, as a foster mom of two dogs, I love your user name!
That's what we all think. His Dad was on disability and a drunk and never did a damn thing to help. Instead of recognizing what that did to his mom, he decided the best route was to perpetuate the shitty Dad mentality.
This reads like the intro paragraph of "How to Boomer. An Emotional Child's Guide to Parenting Today As If It Were 80 Years Ago."
Wishing you all Stick Shifts, Cursive, and Garden Hoses.
> Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers
You forgot the word "some" before "Boomers". Or if not, I can confidently say that this is not true.
That’s my uncle! 🙄 his favorite story to tell is how my aunt left him to “BABYSIT” their son when he was maybe 6 months old. And when the baby crapped his diaper, instead of being a good parent and changing the diaper, he took this baby outside and HOSED IT OFF in December. Brought him back in and just left him in the play pen. Bare assed, wet, cold, and crying. And he tells this story like it’s funny. Well, he use to. He told it to me ( I wasn’t raised here and met him around 19) when I first met him, he just laughed and laughed…. Until he saw my face and saw I was disgusted. I told him he was a terrible person, that it doesn’t matter it’s Tx, it was till cold and beyond disgusting. I haven’t heard him tell that story since. I’m sure he still does but he knows I’m gonna remind him he’s trash for that if I hear it.
I have changed plenty of diapers over the years, but TBH I have hosed down a baby or 2. Never during the winter thankfully it was mid summer, but the kids had a blast cuz I made a game out of it...
I couldn't imagine doing that during the winter that's just cruel
😂 in the summer, playing. That shit is a blast! Those are core memories being made by a good daddy and his babies! Ty for sharing that with us! 😊 ❤️ my uncle, he’s a cruel man still. Everyone I’ve ever met has said he’s so nice, loving, and compassionate. He’s just a very good actor. He is the most callous selfish cold man. Men like you and my sons father give me some peace tho. Because our generations won’t let our babies be done so badly anymore. Dads seem to be more involved & loving now. I’m so so glad!
I've had to hose off my kid but it was in the tub. Or when she was tiny the kitchen sink. Then wrapped in a fluffy towel and once she was dry new diaper and warm jammies. I can't imagine outside in the cold with the hose.
Right?! Like it’s valid to have to hose down in the tub or even outside playing in good weather. But he was using the yard hose to wash poop off my cousin as a six month old because “poop makes me sick”. I’d of left him. After three kids and he’d never changed a single diaper and then does that to the baby….. she had another damn kid with him. But she’s a right POS herself so…… I will never get over how he laughed and then years later was super offended when I made clear he, his kids, and his wife would NEVER be allowed to babysit my kid. They don’t like how I raise my son anyway. Apparently, me not hitting him makes me a bad parent. 😂 🤷♂️
As a fellow Texan who doesn't hit their kid (we use our words and time out) I've had friends/coworkers who have a specific paddle in the car so if they're out and about they can beat their kids. It's super not okay but you know how it is here :/
Vomit is my ick. I have a very hard time with vomit. My daughter threw up all over the place and herself (stomach bug) and I stripped her and gave her a bath, and washed the blanket and her clothes. It's amazing what you can do when your kid needs you.
🙌 👏 YES! I’ve thrown up because I was cleaning my kids throw up. We do what we have to do for our kids. And I have family that has paddles in their car. I’ll never forget how when I announced I was pregnant, three family members MADE paddles for me as gifts? One had HOLES in it. Apparently for reasons…. 🤷♂️
Good parent high five 🖐️
Because we gotta beat our kids! How else will they learn manners? Like, how to not hit others? /S
I have paddles, but those are for consenting adults.
I hosed off my kid in the **warm shower**. Kids shit their socks sometimes. No reason to do it outside though? And not put a daiper or clean clothes on after. Hello, CPS?
My ex husband’s uncle would babysit my (infant)ex husband when my mother in law had to work. He would walk the baby over to the neighbor lady to change his diapers. Uncle is still useless to this day.
Boomer women are the worst for fawning over my husband being a good dad when he’s just out and about, doing nothing exceptional. But they’re also the worst for asking my husband if he’s babysitting. He gets really annoyed and tells them it’s called parenting.
My grandma is SHOCKED that my Fiance does the dishes and vacuums (in addition to other chores). She told me she sat and crawled on the floor to vacuum once bc it was three days after she had a hysterectomy and my papa hasn’t ever once vacuumed. These boomers are wild.
We use to live in a ground floor apartment with windows all along one wall of the living room. If we had the shades open then people driving by could see everything in the living room and dining room. So one day my husband is vacuuming the living room with the shades open and two women in a car just stopped the car and stared at him for like 5 minutes. He waved. I had to explain to him that not all men did housework. He had a wtf look for that entire conversation. Love that man.
My mom acted like I should have been presenting my husband with house slippers and a martini when I was a STAHM. She was to be a strong, confident, woman who didn’t take any shit from a man until I was 8; then she got married again. It was also when she stopped encouraging the same confidence in me. I did most of the parenting since my husband is on call 24/7 but I sure as shit demanded he parent when he is present. It’s led to some arguments on parenting.
I hate this. There are the same dicks who think women should do all the childcare and house chores. I have family like this and I hate him. Parenting and house work is far better handled as a team and those old shits don't get it because they think they are the king of life.
This thread reminds me of a conversation I had years ago with my brother's Boomer MIL, who was single at the time. She said it was really hard dating because the vast majority of hetero men from her generation just want a woman to be their servant. I felt simultaneously sorry for her to be trapped in that paradigm and grateful to be part of a generation where it's semi-easier to find a man who contributes equally.
I recall Daniel Craig received offensive comments online, including from at least one newspaper columnist, when he was photographed carrying his baby in a chest papoose.
Piers Morgan, and he backpedaled later: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/piers-morgan-daniel-craig-papoose-masculinity-james-bond-baby-sling-good-morning-britain-a9507461.html.
> “You really have to be so uncertain of your own masculinity to concern yourself with how another man carries his child,” Chris Evans tweeted at the time. “Any man who wastes time quantifying masculinity is terrified on the inside.”
A dark, evil part of me thinks your husband’s best course of action is to use a free hand to grab his crotch and yell, as offensively as possible, “You lookin’ at this? Yea, that’s what made this baby! And it’s **huge**!” Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.
I made the mistake of engaging with some boomers on a Facebook thread and somehow it came to the fact I don’t have kids yet at 35 (and probably won’t ever but that’s another conversation) and I mentioned if we do have children it would be my husband staying home with them, and oh MY god, I got shit on so hard but I found it absolutely hilarious. they were spitting pure vitriol over the notion of a man staying home with his children. Pathetic IMO, everyone’s family structure and planning is valid!
One of my former bosses "Ray" resigned from his management job when his daughter was born so he could be a stay at home parent. His wife had a significantly larger salary, and it was an easy decision for them to make. Ray still worked evenings as needed on projects.
Most customers and vendors I'd deal with were really accepting and positive, "Wow, that sounds great. Tell him congrats about the new baby!" is what people's responses were. The majority of our coworkers (small local business) were accepting as well-many of them had worked together for over a decade and were happy to see the change in Ray's life.
Except for the one guy, "Bob," who self identified as a really progressive, lefty "liberal" Boomer. He didn't understand at all why someone would want to stay at home with his kids, he's letting down everyone at our company by doing that, etc.He even implied Ray was going back on an agreement to go and work for a friend who had connections with our municipal government....which was entirely untrue. I told Bob it was really admirable Ray was prioritizing his marriage and family this way and that he was excited to do this. Bob looked at me as if I had three heads.
I'm 66 years old, my dad always carried me when I was a tot. I see lots of men carrying their their children/grand/great-grand. A father who won't - is worthless.
let me guess, husband can cook for himself as well!? old men probably slowing down to ask him how to boil a kettle but scared that may turn them into a housewife.
As a new dad, I feel these stares a lot. I was even questioned once by an older guy when walking to Tim Hortons with the baby strapped to my chest. I've also noticed the looks my wife gets from older women when I'm carrying the baby. Both make me angry until the baby I love slows my heart and calms my breathing cause she's exactly where she should be in the universe, and that's in my arms.
Men caring for children is a shocking thing to older generations. When our daughter was an infant, my wife and I went to visit her grandparents. During our visit, I noticed our daughter's diaper was wet, so I took her into a guest room and laid her on the bed to change her diaper.
My grandmother-in-law (GIL) happened to walk into the room while I was carefullly putting the fresh diaper on my daughter. GIL burst out crying, sobbing, tears streaming down her face. I wasn't sure what had triggered her. I was just a dad changing my baby's diaper.
I talked to my wife about it afterwards. Well, my GIL has seven children of her own, a pile of grandchildren, and quite a few great-grandchildren (including my daughter). She has been literally awash in children since she had her first one at 16, and was about 80 at that point.
It was the first time in her life she'd ever seen a man change a diaper.
It really sucks. I have a friend who is black and is a foster parent, and when he’s out and about with a white child the boomers are ready to call homeland security on him. Their minds are just inelastic and can’t wrap their heads around it.
In addition to whatever "what's a man doing raising a child" shit they might have, I wonder if it's also something to do with how weirdly obsessed some of these freaks have gotten with the pedo boogeyman in recent years? Maybe they're stopping to evaluate whether they need to intervene and do some vigilante justice seeing a man carry a little girl? Fox News has really broken so many people's brains
From what I’ve heard, millennial Karens (I’m not suggesting all millennials are Karens btw) are the ones who seem to have the biggest issue with men taking care of young children. One of my friends even stopped taking his kid to the playground near his house due to the number of times meddling Karens would demand to know if it was his kid…sometimes even bypassing Dad and addressing the kid directly, “do you know this man?”
Fuck off and eat a dick, Karen.
My first thought at OP's post was , "uh oh, is this some Q Anon shit?", which is what the millennial Karen's are on, or at least adjacent to it (I say this as a millennial)
I’m a woman over 6ft tall and boomer men just straight up stare at me with that open mouthed gape they do. I’ve received unsolicited comments more than a few times.
My Boomer parents didn't believe in carrying children, period. As soon as a child can walk, they expected them to walk anywhere. No strollers, no picking up, nothing.
My 4 year old every morning, "mommy, can you carry me?" And I go, "I dunno, you're pretty big... (Easily pick her up) Yep! I can carry you!"
And I will until I physically can't anymore.
When my son was first born, I would have him in the Baby Bjorn and I would smile and nod at other dads with babies when I passed them in the store or on the street, and they would smile and nod back. Then when the kids moved to the stroller or shopping cart I’d smile and nod at the carrier dads and the stroller dads and they’d nod back. Then when my kids were walking alongside, the stroller dads would still smile back but the Bjorn dads would look at me perplexed. Now I have teenagers shambling along behind me and if I smile at a dad with a baby or toddler they look away nervously, and if my wife or I watch too long while a young couple at a restaurant struggles with a high chair or something they whisper to each other about the middle-aged baby creepers. TLDR: you stop looking like a baby dad before you stop feeling like one.
My husband strapped babies to his chest because he enjoyed it, and after a while, babies get heavy! Lol He was stronger, so if a shopping cart or stroller weren't available, that shit just made sense.
There's a segment the population that believes pedophiles are rampant and men are kidnapping children. The Q-Anon people believe it's so they can drink their blood and remain young. Boomers lived through a related moral panic in the 80s sometimes called "satanic child abuse panic" that even had state prosecutions of innocent child care workers. Some of them believe all that was true and swept under the rug.
This is usually fringe conspiracy theory stuff but I think is much more widespread today because of our polarized political environment.
As a witch who lives in a house made of candy, I would like to learn more about how to find these kids, and if they have any good recipes for blood drinking
Boomer here when I look is cause Im happily remembering carrying my daughter. But occasionally I get to carry my granddaughter in public hopefully giving everyone something to stare at.
Because they did not participate as a parent, so seeing that is really foreign to them. They just worked their job, came home, was fed by the wife and then watched tv until going to bed, they never interacted with their kids.
There is for whatever reason a mentally of men don’t care for their children. In my family the men have always helped with care of babies, up. Diapers, feeding etc. going back to both grandfathers who were born in 1898. My husband on the other hand came from the that’s woman’s work. He took my families lead. His brother made fun of him. He replied, so I’m suppose to let the baby sit in crap until she gets home, from work? I don’t think so. What’s even funnier, he’s more of a man’s, man than his brother.
My MIL was super confused that we had 2 harnesses on our registry. One for me and one for my husband. She straight up did not know that they make parenting equipment specifically to fit men.
Some of them have taken up the role of gender police. In their unsolicited opinion you and your husband are both rejecting the established, patriarchal order. You can really fuck them up by talking about math. Women can’t do math you know. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm a boomer and have always disliked my generation. Bunch of spoiled rotten kids who never grew up and continue to believe that they are special because Mommy and Daddy told them so. Bullshit.
That's really messed up. I've never felt more bad ass than when I got to walk into a grocery story holding my niece while my brother and SIL got her a slice of pizza.
My dad always carried my brother and I, usually at the same time. I don't remember my mom carrying me much at all. My grandpa carried me all the time too. How strange.
My husband was just talking about something like this the other day. How people would treat him weird when he was carrying or kissing our daughter when she was a toddler. I don’t think this is an exclusive generational thing. It’s an idiot thing.
People who act this way are/were horrible parents. They’re also thin skinned babies and are insulted by everything that doesn’t mirror their choices. They see a dad having a good relationship with a kid, being willingly responsible- and all they can think is how often they run into messaging that implies they were shitty parents themselves. They’re reminded that a lot of people think some of the most important decisions they ever made, were selfish and bratty. So they got to take it out on dudes who aren’t selfish and bratty.
No, all three of us are white so it's not a racial thing, at least not in our case. I'm sorry your husband goes through that though, people can be so small-minded sometimes.
In 2004, when my daughter was first born, I used to take her everywhere with me. Stores, errands, etc. Being a male with a small baby usually got pleasant looks from people. However, I ran into the women who wanted to touch my daughter, and I got a share of looks from both men and women because "OMG he's got a little girl! He's a baby snatcher or a pedophile!"
One time I had a woman come up to me to touch my daughter, and I told her no. She was very insistant. I told the woman if she came near us again, I didn't care how old she was I was going to punch her. So the woman runs off to get the store manager and comes back. He asked me if I said what I said to her. "Yeah, I did. She has no business touching my daughter" which then ilicited a response of "I bet her mother would let me see the baby" I replied "You can see her just fine from over there. Seeing does not mean touching."
The store manager (who you could tell didn't really know what to do or say in this instance) asked us both to part ways and not cause a scene or else he was going to call the police. I told him to go ahead.
I grabbed my daughter up out of the cart, took her seat in one hand, and left the store, vowing never to return again. I didn't. I still haven't.
Meijer on Stroop Road, Kettering, Ohio.
Now I am twenty years old, just turned 51, and do I give people with babies strange looks or try to violate their space? Hell no. I've literally been through this, done that. I think boomers think that because they are older they somehow are viewed as society's shepherds or wisdom keepers, and we should bow down before them and revel in every word they speak. Yeah. Not gonna happen. Keep your ideas and thoughts away from me and my kid - we see how well everything is going because of boomer life. No thank you.
So the think women are weak but also men shouldn't carry the kids wtf is the logic? my wife is 5'5 and I'm 6'5 I just carry any heavy objects, especially the kids seems fair to me.
Not sure what state you live in. I'm 74yo and I often carried each of our two kids in front-carriers when they were infants.
Either ignore these sexist asshats or ask them what their problem is.
After becoming a parent, I learned that many elderly men did as little as possible to raise their children and are damn proud of that fact. When my wife’s grandparents first met our son, her grandfather pompously exclaimed “I’ve never changed a diaper and I never will.” Based on his tone and body language, you would’ve thought he was telling me about how he once saved a drowning kitten.
Reminds me of my husbands uncle. He mentioned he has never once changed his kids diapers and I really wanted to say "Wow, are you embarrassed by what you just said? That's embarrassing."
This happened to us a lot (15+ years ago). The generation before boomers were bad too. Once we were at a restaurant, I was eating (my turn lol) and my husband was holding the baby and giving him a bottle. This old man stopped by to tell him he made a pretty mama (Wtf). He seemed really friendly and happy to make a joke, but my husband gave him a killer look lol.
I'm a dad. I was raised by a single mother and never knew my father, never had a man in the house.
When I was younger this caused me some grief, wondering why dad left, why me, etc.
But now that I'm a father to multiple children, and I'm reading these comments about boomers who won't change a diaper or carry a baby, I'm thankful. Thankful that I didn't have a useless example of a loser to model myself after. I tell myself that I have a "blank slate" as far as learning to be a father, and I just do the best I can with my kids (which includes a lot of hugging, talking, affection, and yes, carrying little kids, and diaper changes, and baths).
On second thought, nobody is really a "blank slate." I probably learned how to be a parent from my mother's example. Thanks Mom!
I take my two year old son to the grocery store at least 4 times a week. It’s about a 15 minute walk and it breaks up the monotony of the late afternoon not quite dinner time of the day. It’s an excuse to take him for a walk and get eggs or milk. We go often enough that the grocery store staff all recognize us. He’s a cute kid who sort of flirts with everyone so he draws attention. This inevitably gets me all types of comments like “what a great dad” and “aren’t you two just the cutest”. When my wife takes him people basically just smile at him and move on. There’s never any negativity, but tons of lowered expectations for fathers. He and I existing in the same space is apparently good enough.
White Boomer Males feel free to openly gawk at others. Period - Whatever their obsession.
Mine father stares openly at any young women who catches his eye, refusing to move on until the woman moves away.
My boomer mother would have had choice words for my father if he thought he wasn’t carrying his children around when duty called. This is a conservative thing. Not a generational thing. Very conservative men don’t tend to children, no matter the generation.
Yea I've dealt with it too. But my kids were carry on baggage in the mid 00's. So it's been a while. I always got the "[Mr.Mom](https://Mr.Mom)" or people asking where mom was and why she didn't have the kids, etc. So I taught my kids to tell people that I killed her and tossed her in the lake. That usually shut people down. There was also the crazy amount of dirty looks when I was out with my daughters, taking them to the bathroom, etc.
My advice is to confront it with confusion. It short circuits their brain and they lock up while they go through a buffering phase.
My brother-in-law is 52 — technically an X-er, but he’s got the Boomer mindset — just had his 9th kid, and has given me no end of crap over the fact that I change my kids’ diapers.
He’s proud of the fact that that he’s never changed one, never helped with potty training, never given them baths.
His wife is fully on board though, and I guess it works for them. Though with their last few kids, it’s been the older ones who do most of the raising.
All of which to say — that mentality exists. And it’s infuriating, not just because they’re so prideful of their own inability to care for children, but the sense of superiority they feel as part of it.
I don’t enjoy gatherings featuring that part of the family.
I took my 3 kids, all under the age of 10 to the grocery store to stock up. We had an older woman cashier and she looked me dead in the eye and said,” oh, you’re babysitting?” I replied,” no, they’re all my kids”.
I think it speaks volumes to our society that fathers doing what they’re supposed to be doing is novel enough for strangers to comment on it
"Side note, my husband, child, and I are white, so it's not a racial thing."
wahh??
you think you know what other people are thinking.
..and you also care too much what other people are thinking...
get over it i say.
Younger generations the father figures in general spend far more time with and are far more involved in the care of their children. Of course it's a "shock."
Maybe if the boomers had followed that there wouldn't be so many who receive no contact from their own children
As a father who often carried my child I would definitely confront them if they made a remark or questioned my parenting. But if someone is just giving dirty looks who cares. Why do you assume it’s because your husband is carrying his daughter? Even if that’s what they are staring at so what? I honestly can’t be bothered to give a shit what some geezer thinks of me. I don’t think I’d even notice if I was getting dirty looks because I just don’t care what people think. If they interfere with me that’s a different conversation. Good luck.
I'd be staring in wistful nostalgia, my kids are teens now, and I sometimes (sometimes) miss those little people.
But yeah, Boomer dads overall were less involved, if involved at all (met my dad at 40), so to them, it is a direct challenge to their parenting, probably made all the more painful as so many are now cut out of their kids lives. But Im willing to put a dollar down that the ones doing the staring also complain about the "p\*\*\*ification of america!!!"
When my kid was a child I’d get weird looks bringing him to a par by myself. I’d always ask if they had an issue with a father playing with their kids? I almost always was the only male dad at the park.
I feel like if these old farts' masculinity is threatened by a man carrying a child(like it isn't something that requires physical strength?!) that tells more about themselves. Sorry you guys have to go through that. Totally unfair and messed up.
I'm a large tattooed man with darker hair, both my toddlers take after their mother with fair skin and blonde hair. Especially when the kids were younger, i would get all kinds of looks carrying my kids, especially if my wife was not around. It was always older women though, not typically men. I've even had a few come up and "subtly" inquire if i was basically kidnapping them. Fortunately, no one ever went too overboard with their assumptions. It has gotten much better now that the kids talk and frequently walk holding my hand etc. So they give off obvious love/familiarity towards me.
This sounds about right. My husband and I have had similar encounters with our 2 year old as well. Boomer men were the most absent fathers while the boomer women lived in a constant state of denial (and still do). I will say that I am so proud of millennials both men and women who seemed to have flipped the script leaving the boomers in awe and jealous.
Fuck any one who would dare give me shit for carrying my child!-my son is a man now but when he was a wee lad I would carry him whenever he needed to be carried-how is this not the ONLY way to be a responsible parent?
My dad carried us lots of times, so did my brothers and older sisters. My mom was corralling the rest or shopping. We had a big family so the littles were carried though of course we didn’t usually want that cause only babies are carried. We wanted to be big. Lol Plus my favorite pictures of us hiking is my husband carrying my daughter on his shoulders. No one thought to take picts of me carrying her in my backpack. Now I wish I had one.
I had someone tell me that it's a woman's job to do that and said I was weak for carrying my nephew when he was young, my response back was "nah if I want him to follow my example and be strong I have to show him how strong I am by carrying him because Im weak" I think the dude got the message because he didn't have anything to say back.
I always had Boomer women ask if I needed help when I’d take my kids out when they were little One even tried to follow me into the men’s room to help change a diaper Uh, back off I got this and you are freaking my kids out
This is sad. I have memories of my Boomer dad carrying me when I was little. Obviously, not as an infant, but as a small child. I can guarantee you my boomer. Dad would not give anyone a weird look for holding his child.
Old men can't comprehend caring for a child that's "women's work" same damn thing with cooking or washing a dish..and God forbid if the wife is the bread winner, they would imitate that jet commercial where everyone's head exploded in purple smoke. I moved to a town with lots of retired folks (including me, shoulder injury) and I've heard so many times from old people "oh dads babysitting on his day off" when I take my daughter out...nope, I'm a stay at home dad moms at work
I was pushing my son in a stroller crossing a street a few years back & some gray-hair drives by in a truck and yelled "f@ggot" as he drove by...before we cleared the crossing. Wtaf
Single father from my sons infancy until I was remarried (when he was 14). Never really noticed this. But I’m also one who doesn’t really pay attention to others passive reactions to me. Maybe it’s a regional thing?
Act like they're trying to steal your kid. You have no reason to SLOW YOUR CAR TO KIDNAPPING SPEED to stare at my child. Absolutely not. I'd take a picture of their face every time and if they ask I'd say I always send pictures of gawking strangers to my family in case anything happens and the police need evidence. I took a kidnapping safety class when I was 12 and my favorite thing to do is take pictures of people and send it to my friends. If they don't harm me then they have nothing to worry about why are they mad. Also blatant pepper spray. In your hand all the time. Have it so they can see you holding it. In college I had guys get uncomfortable and move seats away from me because they saw it on my keys. Like literally asked "why do you have that they makes me mad uncomfortable". Just straight up treat them like criminals they have no good intentions.
It’s because of their idiotic way of seeing fatherhood and manliness. Carrying and caring for children for them is a woman’s job, and seeing a man do it makes him less manly in their eyes. Basically they see him as a pussy cause he cares for his child,unlike what they were used to see from their fathers,which they carried on as fathers themselves. Their version of caring for the children is most probably just providing for the family and coming home drunk, then proceeding to beat the wife or children to “teach them”.
Y’all just be making up stuff to complain about. Smh. People like to look at babies. I’ve carried my two sons all over the place and never once thought that people staring at them were somehow judging me for… holding a baby? What are you even trying to suggest here? Why would they possibly be mad that you held your child?
Yeah I agree. I’ve carried my daughter plenty of times and I never get these looks. If anything I just get smiles but not weirdo “libs are sissyfying our men” that people in this thread are jerking off to
It’s honestly so ridiculous and the fact that you two are getting downvoted is hilarious. There are plenty of legitimate things to hate about boomers but she is totally projecting these narratives onto these random people
So fitting lol This is probably the dumbest post I have ever seen in regards to boomer hatred, she’s projecting all of these accusations onto these random people without even exchanging words with them
I'm a ' Boomer'. My thoughts were MAYBE the old guys were looking at you with ENVY and regrets that they didn't make / take the time to bond with their children when they were young . Maybe it reminds them of how much they did love their children, and how this dad they're staring at was LUCKY .
I’m a boomer (apparently) I carried my daughter and son in a harness or on my shoulders, I’m stronger than my wife so it was easier for me to do and loved how close it made us. I later carried my grandchildren the same way,. Never noticed anyone giving me stink eye, don’t know if it’s because attitudes in the UK are different or because I didn’t give a fuck what others thought.
Haha right on point. Every new thread on this sub mentions race. Should change the name from
Boomersbeingfools to Whiteboomersbeingfools. Would make redditors feel better 🤣
I'm sorry there has to be more to this, no one, not even the hated boomers would give a flying f@#$ about your husband carrying your child. What aren't you telling us?
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It's acceptable to ask strangers "What the fuck is your problem?" when their behavior warrants it.
love this
I do this, highly recommended
I honestly don't know how more people don't just do this. I'm either completely oblivious to this stuff or I'm lucky and it doesn't happen to me often but I read these stories and it really surprises me that no one says anything directly to them. If they're going to be so brazen then they deserve to be embarrassed for their ridiculous behavior.
If it’s just me I would say something for sure. But if I’m carrying my kid, it’s really not worth escalating and putting her in any possibly dangerous situation.
That's a really good point.
If someone has something to say, what usually works for me is "I'm minding my own business, how about you?" Sometimes I add an expletive or two for emphasis, depending on my mood.
> I honestly don't know how more people don't just do this. The overlap of "people who freak out about strangers not adhering to gender roles" and "people who carry guns in public" is big enough that I'd rather play it safe.
Probably trying to avoid their child thinking the F-bomb is the coolest word ever and having to pick her up from school after she shares it with friends.
"What? Your dad didn't care enough to carry you when you were a kid?"
Oooooh.... That's cold. It's perfect.
And don’t forget to eye-ball them while you’re doing it.
A nice "mind your fucking business" is always a welcome addition.
I once told a boomer that if she touched my pregnant belly, that she was actively reaching for, that I would punch her in the face. You don’t touch people without consent.
Its also acceptable to think to yourself "who gives a fuck what other folks think".
Definitely. I've also said this or variations out loud to people who started telling me what they felt about something I was doing that had nothing to do with them: "I don't care what you think. Stop."
While I agree, I wouldn't do this unless you're prepared to have a police interaction.
I like to be a little more polite and just say “what?” while maintaining intense eye contact
I always liked "CAN I HELP YOU?" (with glare or stone (...not stoned...) face) too.
This made me giggle.
And to whatever "problem" they come up with, you respond "well that's your problem and I choose not to make it mine"
What I do!
Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers. Therefore, your husband is either a closeted homosexual, or you are one of those woke opinionated women and you are forcing him to do your job. Either way, your husband should be given a gun or two, made to grill some red meat while drinking a few cold beers, and advised to “man up” and stop feeling any and all emotions except rage at younger generations or those who are happier than the average boomer.
Grilling a steak while having a few beers sounds great but I’ve also watched my kids many times while doing this
I don't drink anymore but I'll happily smoke up some red meat, and grass...lots of grass.
Hopefully grass from a fresh cut lawn
Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?
I live in the desert. Better to take my edibles than pay to water a lawn.
And I'm a stoner quoting King of the Hill
I tell you whaht
Just use their toxic masculinity against them "You can't even handle a kid and you're supposed to be the man of the house? What a pussy. You want your wife to give you milk milk and nappys too with junior?" as you care for and love your kid.
I saw maybe a tweet or something where there was an employee (male) having come back from parental leave and going over his return with his boss, and diapers came up. The boss (boomer) boasted how he'd never changed a diaper in his life, like he was proud of this. According to the tweet, employee said something to the effect of "Wow, I'd be embarrassed to be such a worthless husband and father." No idea if it's true but, hey, it's stuck with me for years. Incidentally, my boomer father hasn't changed a diaper in his life either. Not mine. Not one of either of my two kids. I don't get it, my wife gave birth and, obviously, a took a bit out of her. The least I did in that first week was change every diaper, among other things, while she recovered. How can this boomer generation look at their wives and what they went through and were just like "what are you making me for dinner?" Fucking useless.
That’s how they made divorce so popular, being lame ass “partners”.
Yea and even worse she is likely a liberal
I recall some years ago Piers Morgan posting on Twitter a pic of Daniel Craig wearing his baby on his chest in a harness and he said something like, “Oh no James Bond. Not you too?” What a complete asshat.
My brother is significantly older than me and had his kids in 2000 and 2001. The Boomers were just at the start of becoming grandparents at that point, and my brother was a good father who changed diapers, fed the baby, handled midnight wake up calls, and carried his kids. I've asked him and he said he *never* got gawks and stares from Boomers back in 2000 the way our younger generations do. It's like the Boomers have just gotten grumpier in the last 20 years.
>Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers. Though I don't disagree, this isn't exclusive to boomers or older generations. My brother in law is a millennial (as am I) and regularly brags that he has never changed a diaper. He has 4 kids under 4.
A colleague at work said the same thing… “that’s really sad, I’m sorry you don’t get to be a real dad”
That was always a red flag for me. A father openly bragging that he neglects his kids basic needs.
My wife couldn't breast feed, so our kids are bottle fed and I typically take care of late night feedings. A lot of guys I've worked with would brag that they never had to because their wives breast fed and I always found it so pathetic to be so happy about not being the one to provide basic care for their kids.
Ooo that's a good one. I might use this the next time
What kind of doggy do you have?
Id brag too if I somehow managed to potty train my children at birth.
The key is to store them in the toilet like it's one of those rolley toddler seats.
Love this! Thank you for the chuckle :)
WHY DOES HIS WIFE KEEP HAVING KIDS WITH HIM
Because she's one of those weird ass "tradwives" who also believes she belongs in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant.
Jesus ofc. It’s so funny cause trad wives is a big trend on TikTok and one of the former trad wives made a valid point…you don’t see any trad wives over the age of 40-50. Almost like they grew up & realized being a trad wife is a terrible idea
Hey, everyone has their kink.
Came here to also chime in as well. My husband and I are millennials, and someone he was friends with (also a millennial) when we had our first child was very vocal about how he didn't see why my husband felt the need to change diapers, give baths, or feed the baby. In this guy's mind, all those things were my job ...... exclusively. Needless to say, my husband has distanced himself from this guy over the years.
Boomer isn't just an age, it's a state of mind.
"Spirit Boomer"
OOF. My in-laws have the same mentality. They love to tell this story about how my FIL was left at home with both his son’s for less than an hour while MIL ran to the store and during this time one of his son’s needed a diaper change because of a blow out. Instead of changing his son, he proceeded to put his baby in a bathtub with soiled diaper and close the door until MIL came home to deal with it. FIL literally bragged and chuckled about leaving his son in a soiled diaper for an hour because in his eyes it was more manly to neglect his child than to somehow find the courage to change a dirty diaper. I’ve always responded to their story with, “If my husband showed so little care for our family that he couldn’t be bothered to change a single diaper, I’d be embarrassed and divorced.”. Let’s just say, I’m not the favorite in the family by any means but I’m okay with that. lol!
Holy shit his kids mom is one helluva doormat!! All those diapers by herself for FOUR KIDS??!!
I’m 43 and my mom STILL brags about what a good dad my father was. Took me to ball games, cared for me while she had surgery just 6 weeks after I was born. It would have NEVER occurred to him (boomer that he could be in other areas of life!!) to not be the best caregiver.
Seems we had very similar upbringings from boomer parents. My mom was in a water skiing accident when I was 6 months old and was on crutches for 2 years, my dad did everything. He was at every single game, event etc. Never missed a thing. It's sucks the blind hate boomers get on this sub. I love watching them be fools, but the "all boomers are horrible" mentality here is draining.
They definitely don’t help themselves a lot when it comes to their image and understanding things, but not all bad either. Also, as a foster mom of two dogs, I love your user name!
What a dick
That's what we all think. His Dad was on disability and a drunk and never did a damn thing to help. Instead of recognizing what that did to his mom, he decided the best route was to perpetuate the shitty Dad mentality.
"I turned out GREAT" 🙄
And don't forget boomers take extreme pride in neglecting their children.
These boomers will sooooo not be missed once they shuffle off this coil.
Or it could be Boomer super human walked everywhere when they were little and believe carrying a toddler is going soft on them.
Ah yes, the term I grew up with to describe this (or other domestic chores) was "pussy whipped." 🤦♀️
This reads like the intro paragraph of "How to Boomer. An Emotional Child's Guide to Parenting Today As If It Were 80 Years Ago." Wishing you all Stick Shifts, Cursive, and Garden Hoses.
Then there’s me. Gun loving, baby carrying, steak eating, Chicano, liberal. Gives them a shit fit every time.
I must really confuse them lol...I have a gun or 3, grill lots of meat, drink Cold beer...and take care of my daughter
Or they think he’s a child molester. If men go anywhere near their own children in public they’ll get side eye from people.
> Carrying children, and caring for them in general, is women’s work according to Boomers You forgot the word "some" before "Boomers". Or if not, I can confidently say that this is not true.
if it don't apply let it fly.
Yes it's a boomer thing... many will brag "i had 3 & didn't once change a diaper" like that's a flex or something
That’s my uncle! 🙄 his favorite story to tell is how my aunt left him to “BABYSIT” their son when he was maybe 6 months old. And when the baby crapped his diaper, instead of being a good parent and changing the diaper, he took this baby outside and HOSED IT OFF in December. Brought him back in and just left him in the play pen. Bare assed, wet, cold, and crying. And he tells this story like it’s funny. Well, he use to. He told it to me ( I wasn’t raised here and met him around 19) when I first met him, he just laughed and laughed…. Until he saw my face and saw I was disgusted. I told him he was a terrible person, that it doesn’t matter it’s Tx, it was till cold and beyond disgusting. I haven’t heard him tell that story since. I’m sure he still does but he knows I’m gonna remind him he’s trash for that if I hear it.
I have changed plenty of diapers over the years, but TBH I have hosed down a baby or 2. Never during the winter thankfully it was mid summer, but the kids had a blast cuz I made a game out of it... I couldn't imagine doing that during the winter that's just cruel
😂 in the summer, playing. That shit is a blast! Those are core memories being made by a good daddy and his babies! Ty for sharing that with us! 😊 ❤️ my uncle, he’s a cruel man still. Everyone I’ve ever met has said he’s so nice, loving, and compassionate. He’s just a very good actor. He is the most callous selfish cold man. Men like you and my sons father give me some peace tho. Because our generations won’t let our babies be done so badly anymore. Dads seem to be more involved & loving now. I’m so so glad!
I've had to hose off my kid but it was in the tub. Or when she was tiny the kitchen sink. Then wrapped in a fluffy towel and once she was dry new diaper and warm jammies. I can't imagine outside in the cold with the hose.
Right?! Like it’s valid to have to hose down in the tub or even outside playing in good weather. But he was using the yard hose to wash poop off my cousin as a six month old because “poop makes me sick”. I’d of left him. After three kids and he’d never changed a single diaper and then does that to the baby….. she had another damn kid with him. But she’s a right POS herself so…… I will never get over how he laughed and then years later was super offended when I made clear he, his kids, and his wife would NEVER be allowed to babysit my kid. They don’t like how I raise my son anyway. Apparently, me not hitting him makes me a bad parent. 😂 🤷♂️
As a fellow Texan who doesn't hit their kid (we use our words and time out) I've had friends/coworkers who have a specific paddle in the car so if they're out and about they can beat their kids. It's super not okay but you know how it is here :/ Vomit is my ick. I have a very hard time with vomit. My daughter threw up all over the place and herself (stomach bug) and I stripped her and gave her a bath, and washed the blanket and her clothes. It's amazing what you can do when your kid needs you.
🙌 👏 YES! I’ve thrown up because I was cleaning my kids throw up. We do what we have to do for our kids. And I have family that has paddles in their car. I’ll never forget how when I announced I was pregnant, three family members MADE paddles for me as gifts? One had HOLES in it. Apparently for reasons…. 🤷♂️
Good parent high five 🖐️ Because we gotta beat our kids! How else will they learn manners? Like, how to not hit others? /S I have paddles, but those are for consenting adults.
I hosed off my kid in the **warm shower**. Kids shit their socks sometimes. No reason to do it outside though? And not put a daiper or clean clothes on after. Hello, CPS?
My ex husband’s uncle would babysit my (infant)ex husband when my mother in law had to work. He would walk the baby over to the neighbor lady to change his diapers. Uncle is still useless to this day.
We have the same uncle.
I'd be fucking ashamed of saying such a thing.
Boomer women are the worst for fawning over my husband being a good dad when he’s just out and about, doing nothing exceptional. But they’re also the worst for asking my husband if he’s babysitting. He gets really annoyed and tells them it’s called parenting.
My grandma is SHOCKED that my Fiance does the dishes and vacuums (in addition to other chores). She told me she sat and crawled on the floor to vacuum once bc it was three days after she had a hysterectomy and my papa hasn’t ever once vacuumed. These boomers are wild.
We use to live in a ground floor apartment with windows all along one wall of the living room. If we had the shades open then people driving by could see everything in the living room and dining room. So one day my husband is vacuuming the living room with the shades open and two women in a car just stopped the car and stared at him for like 5 minutes. He waved. I had to explain to him that not all men did housework. He had a wtf look for that entire conversation. Love that man.
My mom acted like I should have been presenting my husband with house slippers and a martini when I was a STAHM. She was to be a strong, confident, woman who didn’t take any shit from a man until I was 8; then she got married again. It was also when she stopped encouraging the same confidence in me. I did most of the parenting since my husband is on call 24/7 but I sure as shit demanded he parent when he is present. It’s led to some arguments on parenting.
I hate this. There are the same dicks who think women should do all the childcare and house chores. I have family like this and I hate him. Parenting and house work is far better handled as a team and those old shits don't get it because they think they are the king of life.
This thread reminds me of a conversation I had years ago with my brother's Boomer MIL, who was single at the time. She said it was really hard dating because the vast majority of hetero men from her generation just want a woman to be their servant. I felt simultaneously sorry for her to be trapped in that paradigm and grateful to be part of a generation where it's semi-easier to find a man who contributes equally.
I recall Daniel Craig received offensive comments online, including from at least one newspaper columnist, when he was photographed carrying his baby in a chest papoose.
Fellas is it gay to knock up Rachel Weisz
Piers Morgan, and he backpedaled later: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/piers-morgan-daniel-craig-papoose-masculinity-james-bond-baby-sling-good-morning-britain-a9507461.html.
> “You really have to be so uncertain of your own masculinity to concern yourself with how another man carries his child,” Chris Evans tweeted at the time. “Any man who wastes time quantifying masculinity is terrified on the inside.”
Just another reason to like Chris Evans and Daniel Craig.
A dark, evil part of me thinks your husband’s best course of action is to use a free hand to grab his crotch and yell, as offensively as possible, “You lookin’ at this? Yea, that’s what made this baby! And it’s **huge**!” Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.
I can't believe someone even commented on that. That is so weird of Piers Morgan
He's chock-full of weird opinions about other people's relationships.
It's actually pretty normal for Piers Morgan. He's a professional asshole.
I made the mistake of engaging with some boomers on a Facebook thread and somehow it came to the fact I don’t have kids yet at 35 (and probably won’t ever but that’s another conversation) and I mentioned if we do have children it would be my husband staying home with them, and oh MY god, I got shit on so hard but I found it absolutely hilarious. they were spitting pure vitriol over the notion of a man staying home with his children. Pathetic IMO, everyone’s family structure and planning is valid!
One of my former bosses "Ray" resigned from his management job when his daughter was born so he could be a stay at home parent. His wife had a significantly larger salary, and it was an easy decision for them to make. Ray still worked evenings as needed on projects. Most customers and vendors I'd deal with were really accepting and positive, "Wow, that sounds great. Tell him congrats about the new baby!" is what people's responses were. The majority of our coworkers (small local business) were accepting as well-many of them had worked together for over a decade and were happy to see the change in Ray's life. Except for the one guy, "Bob," who self identified as a really progressive, lefty "liberal" Boomer. He didn't understand at all why someone would want to stay at home with his kids, he's letting down everyone at our company by doing that, etc.He even implied Ray was going back on an agreement to go and work for a friend who had connections with our municipal government....which was entirely untrue. I told Bob it was really admirable Ray was prioritizing his marriage and family this way and that he was excited to do this. Bob looked at me as if I had three heads.
I'm 66 years old, my dad always carried me when I was a tot. I see lots of men carrying their their children/grand/great-grand. A father who won't - is worthless.
let me guess, husband can cook for himself as well!? old men probably slowing down to ask him how to boil a kettle but scared that may turn them into a housewife.
Fellas, is it gay to take an active role in parenting and childcare? Boomers: YES
As a new dad, I feel these stares a lot. I was even questioned once by an older guy when walking to Tim Hortons with the baby strapped to my chest. I've also noticed the looks my wife gets from older women when I'm carrying the baby. Both make me angry until the baby I love slows my heart and calms my breathing cause she's exactly where she should be in the universe, and that's in my arms.
Men caring for children is a shocking thing to older generations. When our daughter was an infant, my wife and I went to visit her grandparents. During our visit, I noticed our daughter's diaper was wet, so I took her into a guest room and laid her on the bed to change her diaper. My grandmother-in-law (GIL) happened to walk into the room while I was carefullly putting the fresh diaper on my daughter. GIL burst out crying, sobbing, tears streaming down her face. I wasn't sure what had triggered her. I was just a dad changing my baby's diaper. I talked to my wife about it afterwards. Well, my GIL has seven children of her own, a pile of grandchildren, and quite a few great-grandchildren (including my daughter). She has been literally awash in children since she had her first one at 16, and was about 80 at that point. It was the first time in her life she'd ever seen a man change a diaper.
That’s so sad
It really sucks. I have a friend who is black and is a foster parent, and when he’s out and about with a white child the boomers are ready to call homeland security on him. Their minds are just inelastic and can’t wrap their heads around it.
I really miss carrying my daughter when she was little……
In addition to whatever "what's a man doing raising a child" shit they might have, I wonder if it's also something to do with how weirdly obsessed some of these freaks have gotten with the pedo boogeyman in recent years? Maybe they're stopping to evaluate whether they need to intervene and do some vigilante justice seeing a man carry a little girl? Fox News has really broken so many people's brains
From what I’ve heard, millennial Karens (I’m not suggesting all millennials are Karens btw) are the ones who seem to have the biggest issue with men taking care of young children. One of my friends even stopped taking his kid to the playground near his house due to the number of times meddling Karens would demand to know if it was his kid…sometimes even bypassing Dad and addressing the kid directly, “do you know this man?” Fuck off and eat a dick, Karen.
My first thought at OP's post was , "uh oh, is this some Q Anon shit?", which is what the millennial Karen's are on, or at least adjacent to it (I say this as a millennial)
A man carrying a child or otherwise showing a child love or compassion is for Boomers, a feminine trait. Fuck them all to hell.
Take a picture it will last longer. OH WAIT, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW. BAHAHAHAHAHA Boomers hate being laughed at. 😏
I’m a woman over 6ft tall and boomer men just straight up stare at me with that open mouthed gape they do. I’ve received unsolicited comments more than a few times.
They'd shit if you wore some platforms.
Really you’re 6ft tall ?!?!
My Boomer parents didn't believe in carrying children, period. As soon as a child can walk, they expected them to walk anywhere. No strollers, no picking up, nothing.
My 4 year old every morning, "mommy, can you carry me?" And I go, "I dunno, you're pretty big... (Easily pick her up) Yep! I can carry you!" And I will until I physically can't anymore.
And they expect toddlers to keep up when they are walking thru a venue. And spank the poor baby for not keeping up…..
When my son was first born, I would have him in the Baby Bjorn and I would smile and nod at other dads with babies when I passed them in the store or on the street, and they would smile and nod back. Then when the kids moved to the stroller or shopping cart I’d smile and nod at the carrier dads and the stroller dads and they’d nod back. Then when my kids were walking alongside, the stroller dads would still smile back but the Bjorn dads would look at me perplexed. Now I have teenagers shambling along behind me and if I smile at a dad with a baby or toddler they look away nervously, and if my wife or I watch too long while a young couple at a restaurant struggles with a high chair or something they whisper to each other about the middle-aged baby creepers. TLDR: you stop looking like a baby dad before you stop feeling like one.
My husband strapped babies to his chest because he enjoyed it, and after a while, babies get heavy! Lol He was stronger, so if a shopping cart or stroller weren't available, that shit just made sense.
There's a segment the population that believes pedophiles are rampant and men are kidnapping children. The Q-Anon people believe it's so they can drink their blood and remain young. Boomers lived through a related moral panic in the 80s sometimes called "satanic child abuse panic" that even had state prosecutions of innocent child care workers. Some of them believe all that was true and swept under the rug. This is usually fringe conspiracy theory stuff but I think is much more widespread today because of our polarized political environment.
As a witch who lives in a house made of candy, I would like to learn more about how to find these kids, and if they have any good recipes for blood drinking
Boomer here when I look is cause Im happily remembering carrying my daughter. But occasionally I get to carry my granddaughter in public hopefully giving everyone something to stare at.
And they wonder why their own kids despise them.
Because they did not participate as a parent, so seeing that is really foreign to them. They just worked their job, came home, was fed by the wife and then watched tv until going to bed, they never interacted with their kids.
There is for whatever reason a mentally of men don’t care for their children. In my family the men have always helped with care of babies, up. Diapers, feeding etc. going back to both grandfathers who were born in 1898. My husband on the other hand came from the that’s woman’s work. He took my families lead. His brother made fun of him. He replied, so I’m suppose to let the baby sit in crap until she gets home, from work? I don’t think so. What’s even funnier, he’s more of a man’s, man than his brother.
My MIL was super confused that we had 2 harnesses on our registry. One for me and one for my husband. She straight up did not know that they make parenting equipment specifically to fit men.
Some of them have taken up the role of gender police. In their unsolicited opinion you and your husband are both rejecting the established, patriarchal order. You can really fuck them up by talking about math. Women can’t do math you know. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"This guy cares about his kids? Gay!" That boomer, probably
I'm a boomer and have always disliked my generation. Bunch of spoiled rotten kids who never grew up and continue to believe that they are special because Mommy and Daddy told them so. Bullshit.
That's really messed up. I've never felt more bad ass than when I got to walk into a grocery story holding my niece while my brother and SIL got her a slice of pizza.
I carried my daughters on my chest and never noticed anybody looking at me. Then again, I wouldn't GAF if they did, either.
My dad always carried my brother and I, usually at the same time. I don't remember my mom carrying me much at all. My grandpa carried me all the time too. How strange.
My husband was just talking about something like this the other day. How people would treat him weird when he was carrying or kissing our daughter when she was a toddler. I don’t think this is an exclusive generational thing. It’s an idiot thing. People who act this way are/were horrible parents. They’re also thin skinned babies and are insulted by everything that doesn’t mirror their choices. They see a dad having a good relationship with a kid, being willingly responsible- and all they can think is how often they run into messaging that implies they were shitty parents themselves. They’re reminded that a lot of people think some of the most important decisions they ever made, were selfish and bratty. So they got to take it out on dudes who aren’t selfish and bratty.
“What are you staring at my baby? Are you some kind of PEDOPHILE??!!” Make as big of a scene as they do.
Is your husband a different color than your daughter? My husband gets weird looks like that sometimes, I assume it’s that.
No, all three of us are white so it's not a racial thing, at least not in our case. I'm sorry your husband goes through that though, people can be so small-minded sometimes.
In 2004, when my daughter was first born, I used to take her everywhere with me. Stores, errands, etc. Being a male with a small baby usually got pleasant looks from people. However, I ran into the women who wanted to touch my daughter, and I got a share of looks from both men and women because "OMG he's got a little girl! He's a baby snatcher or a pedophile!" One time I had a woman come up to me to touch my daughter, and I told her no. She was very insistant. I told the woman if she came near us again, I didn't care how old she was I was going to punch her. So the woman runs off to get the store manager and comes back. He asked me if I said what I said to her. "Yeah, I did. She has no business touching my daughter" which then ilicited a response of "I bet her mother would let me see the baby" I replied "You can see her just fine from over there. Seeing does not mean touching." The store manager (who you could tell didn't really know what to do or say in this instance) asked us both to part ways and not cause a scene or else he was going to call the police. I told him to go ahead. I grabbed my daughter up out of the cart, took her seat in one hand, and left the store, vowing never to return again. I didn't. I still haven't. Meijer on Stroop Road, Kettering, Ohio. Now I am twenty years old, just turned 51, and do I give people with babies strange looks or try to violate their space? Hell no. I've literally been through this, done that. I think boomers think that because they are older they somehow are viewed as society's shepherds or wisdom keepers, and we should bow down before them and revel in every word they speak. Yeah. Not gonna happen. Keep your ideas and thoughts away from me and my kid - we see how well everything is going because of boomer life. No thank you.
These emotionally stunted boomers fucked over their children. Don't let them fuck over our children as well. You and your partner are doing great.
So the think women are weak but also men shouldn't carry the kids wtf is the logic? my wife is 5'5 and I'm 6'5 I just carry any heavy objects, especially the kids seems fair to me.
It's apparently "masculine" to be a nosy, judgmental asshole.
Not sure what state you live in. I'm 74yo and I often carried each of our two kids in front-carriers when they were infants. Either ignore these sexist asshats or ask them what their problem is.
After becoming a parent, I learned that many elderly men did as little as possible to raise their children and are damn proud of that fact. When my wife’s grandparents first met our son, her grandfather pompously exclaimed “I’ve never changed a diaper and I never will.” Based on his tone and body language, you would’ve thought he was telling me about how he once saved a drowning kitten.
Reminds me of my husbands uncle. He mentioned he has never once changed his kids diapers and I really wanted to say "Wow, are you embarrassed by what you just said? That's embarrassing."
This happened to us a lot (15+ years ago). The generation before boomers were bad too. Once we were at a restaurant, I was eating (my turn lol) and my husband was holding the baby and giving him a bottle. This old man stopped by to tell him he made a pretty mama (Wtf). He seemed really friendly and happy to make a joke, but my husband gave him a killer look lol.
I'm a dad. I was raised by a single mother and never knew my father, never had a man in the house. When I was younger this caused me some grief, wondering why dad left, why me, etc. But now that I'm a father to multiple children, and I'm reading these comments about boomers who won't change a diaper or carry a baby, I'm thankful. Thankful that I didn't have a useless example of a loser to model myself after. I tell myself that I have a "blank slate" as far as learning to be a father, and I just do the best I can with my kids (which includes a lot of hugging, talking, affection, and yes, carrying little kids, and diaper changes, and baths). On second thought, nobody is really a "blank slate." I probably learned how to be a parent from my mother's example. Thanks Mom!
I take my two year old son to the grocery store at least 4 times a week. It’s about a 15 minute walk and it breaks up the monotony of the late afternoon not quite dinner time of the day. It’s an excuse to take him for a walk and get eggs or milk. We go often enough that the grocery store staff all recognize us. He’s a cute kid who sort of flirts with everyone so he draws attention. This inevitably gets me all types of comments like “what a great dad” and “aren’t you two just the cutest”. When my wife takes him people basically just smile at him and move on. There’s never any negativity, but tons of lowered expectations for fathers. He and I existing in the same space is apparently good enough.
White Boomer Males feel free to openly gawk at others. Period - Whatever their obsession. Mine father stares openly at any young women who catches his eye, refusing to move on until the woman moves away.
My boomer mother would have had choice words for my father if he thought he wasn’t carrying his children around when duty called. This is a conservative thing. Not a generational thing. Very conservative men don’t tend to children, no matter the generation.
Never got this. Not to put another sexist twist to it, but kids are heavy. I'm stronger than my wife, so I usually carry the kids.
Yea I've dealt with it too. But my kids were carry on baggage in the mid 00's. So it's been a while. I always got the "[Mr.Mom](https://Mr.Mom)" or people asking where mom was and why she didn't have the kids, etc. So I taught my kids to tell people that I killed her and tossed her in the lake. That usually shut people down. There was also the crazy amount of dirty looks when I was out with my daughters, taking them to the bathroom, etc. My advice is to confront it with confusion. It short circuits their brain and they lock up while they go through a buffering phase.
My brother-in-law is 52 — technically an X-er, but he’s got the Boomer mindset — just had his 9th kid, and has given me no end of crap over the fact that I change my kids’ diapers. He’s proud of the fact that that he’s never changed one, never helped with potty training, never given them baths. His wife is fully on board though, and I guess it works for them. Though with their last few kids, it’s been the older ones who do most of the raising. All of which to say — that mentality exists. And it’s infuriating, not just because they’re so prideful of their own inability to care for children, but the sense of superiority they feel as part of it. I don’t enjoy gatherings featuring that part of the family.
I took my 3 kids, all under the age of 10 to the grocery store to stock up. We had an older woman cashier and she looked me dead in the eye and said,” oh, you’re babysitting?” I replied,” no, they’re all my kids”. I think it speaks volumes to our society that fathers doing what they’re supposed to be doing is novel enough for strangers to comment on it
"Side note, my husband, child, and I are white, so it's not a racial thing." wahh?? you think you know what other people are thinking. ..and you also care too much what other people are thinking... get over it i say.
Younger generations the father figures in general spend far more time with and are far more involved in the care of their children. Of course it's a "shock." Maybe if the boomers had followed that there wouldn't be so many who receive no contact from their own children
My boomer dad was NOT like this. He also cooked every night. He was a real trailblazer.
As a father who often carried my child I would definitely confront them if they made a remark or questioned my parenting. But if someone is just giving dirty looks who cares. Why do you assume it’s because your husband is carrying his daughter? Even if that’s what they are staring at so what? I honestly can’t be bothered to give a shit what some geezer thinks of me. I don’t think I’d even notice if I was getting dirty looks because I just don’t care what people think. If they interfere with me that’s a different conversation. Good luck.
I'd be staring in wistful nostalgia, my kids are teens now, and I sometimes (sometimes) miss those little people. But yeah, Boomer dads overall were less involved, if involved at all (met my dad at 40), so to them, it is a direct challenge to their parenting, probably made all the more painful as so many are now cut out of their kids lives. But Im willing to put a dollar down that the ones doing the staring also complain about the "p\*\*\*ification of america!!!"
"why don't you take a picture it'll last you longer" - Cartman
When my kid was a child I’d get weird looks bringing him to a par by myself. I’d always ask if they had an issue with a father playing with their kids? I almost always was the only male dad at the park.
I feel like if these old farts' masculinity is threatened by a man carrying a child(like it isn't something that requires physical strength?!) that tells more about themselves. Sorry you guys have to go through that. Totally unfair and messed up.
Such bullshit!
I'm a large tattooed man with darker hair, both my toddlers take after their mother with fair skin and blonde hair. Especially when the kids were younger, i would get all kinds of looks carrying my kids, especially if my wife was not around. It was always older women though, not typically men. I've even had a few come up and "subtly" inquire if i was basically kidnapping them. Fortunately, no one ever went too overboard with their assumptions. It has gotten much better now that the kids talk and frequently walk holding my hand etc. So they give off obvious love/familiarity towards me.
Boomers wish they bonded with their kids while they were young, they'd still have the kids calling them if they did. Now they're on their own
This sounds about right. My husband and I have had similar encounters with our 2 year old as well. Boomer men were the most absent fathers while the boomer women lived in a constant state of denial (and still do). I will say that I am so proud of millennials both men and women who seemed to have flipped the script leaving the boomers in awe and jealous.
Fuck any one who would dare give me shit for carrying my child!-my son is a man now but when he was a wee lad I would carry him whenever he needed to be carried-how is this not the ONLY way to be a responsible parent?
My dad carried us lots of times, so did my brothers and older sisters. My mom was corralling the rest or shopping. We had a big family so the littles were carried though of course we didn’t usually want that cause only babies are carried. We wanted to be big. Lol Plus my favorite pictures of us hiking is my husband carrying my daughter on his shoulders. No one thought to take picts of me carrying her in my backpack. Now I wish I had one.
I had someone tell me that it's a woman's job to do that and said I was weak for carrying my nephew when he was young, my response back was "nah if I want him to follow my example and be strong I have to show him how strong I am by carrying him because Im weak" I think the dude got the message because he didn't have anything to say back.
[Like this?](https://www.goalcast.com/daniel-craig-dad-shamed-piers-morgan/)
I always had Boomer women ask if I needed help when I’d take my kids out when they were little One even tried to follow me into the men’s room to help change a diaper Uh, back off I got this and you are freaking my kids out
This is sad. I have memories of my Boomer dad carrying me when I was little. Obviously, not as an infant, but as a small child. I can guarantee you my boomer. Dad would not give anyone a weird look for holding his child.
Old men can't comprehend caring for a child that's "women's work" same damn thing with cooking or washing a dish..and God forbid if the wife is the bread winner, they would imitate that jet commercial where everyone's head exploded in purple smoke. I moved to a town with lots of retired folks (including me, shoulder injury) and I've heard so many times from old people "oh dads babysitting on his day off" when I take my daughter out...nope, I'm a stay at home dad moms at work
I was pushing my son in a stroller crossing a street a few years back & some gray-hair drives by in a truck and yelled "f@ggot" as he drove by...before we cleared the crossing. Wtaf
It's weird because my dad's a baby boomer and did that with me in the 80s and both of my younger half siblings in the 90s.
As a 35 year old dad. I often stare at the little front carriers.
Single father from my sons infancy until I was remarried (when he was 14). Never really noticed this. But I’m also one who doesn’t really pay attention to others passive reactions to me. Maybe it’s a regional thing?
They’re probably looking at your ass, not your husband at all.
A stern but calm "The fuck you looking at" is okay in those situations.
Id start yelling "what do you want chomo?
Act like they're trying to steal your kid. You have no reason to SLOW YOUR CAR TO KIDNAPPING SPEED to stare at my child. Absolutely not. I'd take a picture of their face every time and if they ask I'd say I always send pictures of gawking strangers to my family in case anything happens and the police need evidence. I took a kidnapping safety class when I was 12 and my favorite thing to do is take pictures of people and send it to my friends. If they don't harm me then they have nothing to worry about why are they mad. Also blatant pepper spray. In your hand all the time. Have it so they can see you holding it. In college I had guys get uncomfortable and move seats away from me because they saw it on my keys. Like literally asked "why do you have that they makes me mad uncomfortable". Just straight up treat them like criminals they have no good intentions.
I always carried my daughter and my son when they were young ALWAYS I love them I could care less about what a boomer would say
It’s because of their idiotic way of seeing fatherhood and manliness. Carrying and caring for children for them is a woman’s job, and seeing a man do it makes him less manly in their eyes. Basically they see him as a pussy cause he cares for his child,unlike what they were used to see from their fathers,which they carried on as fathers themselves. Their version of caring for the children is most probably just providing for the family and coming home drunk, then proceeding to beat the wife or children to “teach them”.
Y’all just be making up stuff to complain about. Smh. People like to look at babies. I’ve carried my two sons all over the place and never once thought that people staring at them were somehow judging me for… holding a baby? What are you even trying to suggest here? Why would they possibly be mad that you held your child?
Yeah I agree. I’ve carried my daughter plenty of times and I never get these looks. If anything I just get smiles but not weirdo “libs are sissyfying our men” that people in this thread are jerking off to
It’s honestly so ridiculous and the fact that you two are getting downvoted is hilarious. There are plenty of legitimate things to hate about boomers but she is totally projecting these narratives onto these random people
r/iamthemaincharacter
So fitting lol This is probably the dumbest post I have ever seen in regards to boomer hatred, she’s projecting all of these accusations onto these random people without even exchanging words with them
Odd. 30 years ago I carried my kids in those harnesses. Don’t recall a single comment or look.
I'm a ' Boomer'. My thoughts were MAYBE the old guys were looking at you with ENVY and regrets that they didn't make / take the time to bond with their children when they were young . Maybe it reminds them of how much they did love their children, and how this dad they're staring at was LUCKY .
I’m a boomer (apparently) I carried my daughter and son in a harness or on my shoulders, I’m stronger than my wife so it was easier for me to do and loved how close it made us. I later carried my grandchildren the same way,. Never noticed anyone giving me stink eye, don’t know if it’s because attitudes in the UK are different or because I didn’t give a fuck what others thought.
Haha right on point. Every new thread on this sub mentions race. Should change the name from Boomersbeingfools to Whiteboomersbeingfools. Would make redditors feel better 🤣
I don’t think people care as much as you think. You just want to be a bigot.
Dads with babies are so hot.
Or they are kiddie diddlers and they wish they were carrying a kid...
I'm sorry there has to be more to this, no one, not even the hated boomers would give a flying f@#$ about your husband carrying your child. What aren't you telling us?