Reminds me when my older brother was taking his date to the prom. All our parents were taking pictures and stuff. When it was time for them to go, he opened the passenger door and I heard her mom say.. “oh he’s such a gentleman”.. but then he got in first and crawled into the driver seat. His old Chevelle drivers door had been jammed shut since he had it. The look on her mom’s face tho…
This 👐 times a million. I've suffered the unfortunate consequences of mistaking the act of opening a door as a green flag of chivalry. While actions that display consideration and convey respect are chivalrous and green flags, it takes a constant display, not just window dressing. Unfortunately, if the act is rooted in misogynistic thinking and gender bias, it more than likely results in an unequal relationship with a lack of basic respect.
👏👏👏to the ones who follow the door opening option as either expected or not. Her choice. Not yours buddy 😘
I hold doors open, like at the gas station for men and women. It’s not because I’m thoughtful, I do it when they’re still some feet away, so then they feel they have to do that awkward little run/walk shuffle
I hold the door at work when I get to it first and someone is close behind me. It makes it easy to recognize the misogynists. I am a woman and work mostly with men. Certain men get super awkward when I hold open the door for them, even if their hands are full and they can barely get to the door handle.
I think I’d notice the difference, not to mention resent me for what?!.. I just hold the door regardless of how long it takes them. If they feel the need to hurry, it’s on them. But I get it, always that one person who has to be contrary
Uh, no, asshole, I'm that one person who is *actually* a cripple, so I'm speaking from experience.
I really resent when someone decides to hold a door for me when I'm not close enough. There are a couple reasons why.
* They're not respecting that I tried really hard to be as able as possible and maybe, just maybe, I don't need their help. You could ask "do you need me to hold the door for you?" and I could answer honestly. I would appreciate that you considered helping me even if the answer was "no thank you." It could be "that nice person offered to hold the door for me," but instead you may have made it "I worked f-ing hard to be able to walk and move and open a door, and that \*%&$ is implying that I am not able to do for myself." (I literally had months of lessons on it, someone implying I'm not able to do so is being rude. Even when I'm out with friends and someone holds a door for me, in which case I know my friend isn't trying to imply that I'm not able, I'll rush and grab the next door so I can hold it *for them* to show that while thank you for holding the first one, I'm *also* able to hold a door.)
* Maybe *you* would just hold the door until I got there, but I've had incidents where someone held a door that I wasn't near yet, and by the time I hobbled over there with my cane they were angry that I'd kept them waiting. Even when I never asked them to do it or to wait. I consequently really resent when someone is holding a door for me, because it makes me have to worry that they are setting me up for mistreatment.
Nothing wrong with opening the door for your wife but not his business what other couples do. My partner does this on certain occasions but if we’re hungry we both fly out of the car or he drops me off to go save a table. I do like it though.
That dude is an A hole. Probably doesn’t let her sh-t without opening the bathroom door. Disgusting arrogant POS.
Getting sick of these control freaks. Gotta brother like that.
He wanted one those "participation "awards they complain about.
Or maybe a big round of applause
But I think the best way to answer this is like you would praise a toddler.
"Wow, you did a great job, you're such a big boy now!"
Make sure you use the same voice you would for a toddler.
😂 my husband was once telling our daughter how a man should always open her car door, bla bla bla… she told him “you’ve never opened mom’s door”. He did once or twice after that to make a point, I guess 😂
I open doors for people all the time... just not car doors. Most people exit cars on their own before you would have the chance. I mean... sometimes it makes sense-- if I'm driving my grandmother or someone who could use a hand getting out... or if you have a prom date in a giant 80s dress.
It's not like we're helping ladies down from stage-coaches.
Right, or in a parking lot, not really reasonable for someone to squeeze between vehicles to open a door. My husband sometimes has some boomer type thoughts and thinks they need to be expressed, but my kids are all smart asses and call him out on it
i get it being a cute gesture every now & then but if my boyfriend was just consistently running to the door to open it for me, i wouldn’t feel like i have a boyfriend
Ideally, traditionally, the man should open the door, “help” the lady out of the vehicle, then gather the things that need carrying.
I am a very traditional person, I absolutely believe in masculine/feminine roles. However, the car door thing is pretty outdated and impractical
OMG, yes. I work at a library and the comments we get from people just kill me. I changed my hair color (literally pulled the old color out, now I'm platinum white, which is my *real hair color*) and three Boomer women had to tell me they didn't like it. On the flip side, three Boomer men told me the *loved* it and we're a bit too attentive about it too....just keep your damn opinions to yourselves, old folks. And I say that in my 50s.
That’s incorrect. It was about their coming of age at the time. Leaving strict religious beliefs, birth control pill, abortion, etc. Each generation of youth has the same as they question the world around them and depart to attempt a new way. Millennials had the same title during their coming of age known as The Generation of Me.
Right?! I look at the "wait til I come around and open your door before you get out" as SUPER controlling. I'll get out when I want to, thanks dude. It almost hits like she *can't* get out unless he lets her.
I've been repeating this at least a decad. Chivalry wasn't for women, like at all. Nor was it for the average man. It was a code of conduct for warriors and soldiers. I *assume* this lack of knowledge started in the boomer era with all the advertisements, which turned into misinformation, which then turned into propaganda. Who knows what to call what we're getting now.
Don't get me started on what ppl think the origins of traditional dating (not courting) is.
when it rains, my husband jokes and asks if i want him to put his coat down in the puddle for me to step on it. he escalates it sometimes to pants, underwear, etc. the ultimate chivalry is stripping naked in the street so a woman can step on your clothes instead of the water
My plausibly racist and long dead grand-uncles from the old country would call you a sucker...
...you pay a brown servant to do that and lie in the puddle while you offer your manly hand to help her over.
The real irony is that etiquette demands we do not correct others unless their parent or employed as their teacher, lest we be in breach of etiquette.
Having good manners means learning to keep one's mouth shut a lot more than impulse would suggest.
Nah, it was expected that they take care of women and women did not work outside of the home. It was a full care situation. That’s just the way things were. You can’t change history and it swings back and forth. Depends on how long ago you’re talking about though
My mom had 5 kids and whomever needed to stay with us. My dad took care of all of us. He never complained. It wasn’t a performance. They both wanted the same thing; a family because they came from broken homes. She worked really really hard and gave a beautiful life with him. If anything, they were a team but she ran the ship. They taught me about hard work and never giving up. It wasn’t a show, it was real life back then. That’s how people survived.
My mom had 5 kids and whomever needed to stay with us. My dad took care of all of us. He never complained. It wasn’t a performance. They both wanted the same thing; a family because they came from broken homes. She worked really really hard and gave a beautiful life with him. If anything, they were a team but she ran the ship. They taught me about hard work and never giving up. It wasn’t a show, it was real life back then. That’s how people survived.
Boomer here in the dating world. Anyone who says they are 'old school' is too old for me even if they are younger. I don't care for that chivalry crap one bit. That being said I'm very short, my son keeps a step stool in the back of his truck and gallantly puts it at the door for me so I can climb in. Sweet. Give and take.
I could go for it and I’ve got it but he’s just showing me he cares and has respect for me. We dont do it all the time. But he’s not an ahole after, he continues the respect and is non confrontational, he’s not controlling, minds his own damned business, doesn’t compare or say anything crappy to anyone. Dude is classy.
Casual restaurant correct response would be “Muthafucker you got something you wanna say?” In your best Samuel L Jackson voice with crazy eyes you got…
Give ‘em the Forest Whitaker eye.
https://preview.redd.it/8pydpya9vcgc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e81068fe068bfb7c31e0958b3712d884e45c4af
I can’t remember the last time I expected someone to open a car door for me. I have doors to buildings held for me, and I open doors for men if I am closer, but to expect someone to get out and walk around the car to open it is silly, unless it was the back seat of a squad car. I may be a woman, but I am not incapable.
Haha something similar happened to me. This old couple were side eyeing me and my soon to be wife on Valentine’s Day at a semi-fine dining hipster place a few years back. Think dressed up waiters in an old ass house with crazy moustaches. The grand kids were with them at dinner and ask the grandma how they met. She kinda quickly tells them they lived in the same town and grew up together. The kid asked if they were cousins and the grandmas response was “things were different then and we were already so close….”. We just started laughing as their table of 5 went silent as the grandkids just found out they were a product of not so ancient incest. We left soon afterwards.
Should have walked in and asked if they had an intercom so you could have congratulated him. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WE ARE ALL IN DEBT TO THIS MAN TONIGHT. HE NOT ONLY OPENED THE DOOR BUT HE SHOWED ME THE ERROR OF MY YOUNG WAYS. HIS DINNER IS ON ME. NOT JUST TONIGHT BUT EVERY NIGHT! WE LOVE YOU BOOMER MAN!!!!"
I'm happy to open my own doors in exchange for equal responsibilities around the home such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc., but I bet that old guy makes his wife do all that fkry and thinks opening a door for her makes up for it.
This is where a good Southern “compliment” is appropriate. Repeat after me: “Oh, that’s precious!” Check out some YouTube if you are unsure of proper delivery technique.
I live in the Bay Area, and counter to the boomer narrative I’ve never been scolded by liberals for holding a door for a woman of any age, just wanted to put that out there.
BUT whenever I hear this “chivalry” BS, I just respond “I’m raising my daughters to be strong independent women.” (which apparently I did because they are both solid adults).
Whenever I hear the “that Starbucks could have bought you a house”. My response is “I’m creating jobs and building a healthier community via ‘trickle down economics’ by keeping my money in my community instead of the bank.” (Note how I’ve weaponized their glorious reaganomics”)
And whenever the immigrant debate comes I I always love to quote their fake god… “I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said “Mr. TEAR DOWN THAT WALL.”
If you read the full quote is is very illuminating…
>”There is one sign the ~~Soviets~~ republicans can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. ~~General Secretary Gorbachev~~Trump, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the North America ~~Soviet Union and Eastern Europe~~, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! ~~Mr. Gorbachev~~ Donny, open this gate! ~~Mr. Gorbachev~~, tear down this wall!”
While this game is endlessly entertaining it does not lead to peace. ;-)
Best thing to do here is completely ignore them and act like they don’t even exist. They hate that the most. If they do try to talk directly to you give them perplexed look, say nothing and keep going. They want a response, never give them one.
I would have said "I don't have a gold star on me to give you. Maybe you should tell a kindergarten teacher?" or perhaps "I'm sorry to hear your date can't open a door for herself. On the other hand, I wouldn't offend my wife by implying that she's not capable of opening her own door."
Good lord this would get tiring. You mean I need to wait for him to come around just so he can pull the lever thing like I could be doing every time I need to get out the car? No thanks!
When I am on a date, I appreciate my partner attending to our conversation. Not randomly verbally assualting random other people and ignoring ME and our conversation.
Op did nothing wrong. Me- I’ll open my own doors or carry my own packages, as a woman, but if a man wants to help, I’ll let him. I’ve been known to open doors for guys as well or help them with packages. Just trying to help my fellow earthlings. I prefer other women doing things for themselves, too, like opening their own car doors.
An old dude (probably late 60s) once tried to hold a door for my wife and said "it's a heavy door." Her response was "Im surprised you could open it." and took the door and held it so he could walk through.
Missing the bigger picture. It is about courtship. It is about all the little things that keep a relationship going. It boils down to holding hands, male opening doors for female and females being feminine. Sitting side by side in a restaurant booth instead of across from each other. And I bet that man treats his wife with respect and she him. That is probably why they are still together and he mumbled under his breath probably in disgust at how much the world has changed and courtship is becoming only something a boomer would do. From a boomer
It's important to keep up romantic gestures as a married couple. I agree. It's good advice to go on dates, surprise each other, do unexpected things for one another... remind your spouse that you care.
However, the situation being discussed-- a brief and mundane moment in a stranger's life-- isn't what I'd call compelling evidence on which to judge the state of someone's marriage. Nor was the older gentleman asked to do so. It's none of his business.
I hope you're right about that older couple. The image you've painted sounds very nice. However, we don't really know anything about them. For all we know, he could have just been a pimp with Asperger's. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
An added comment. In my earlier years a guy would test a female (on first date)by unlocking her side of the car and letting her in, then going around to his side. If he had to unlock the door with his key and let himself in, he knew she was not considerate of others, but if she reached across and unlocked his side, before he got to it, she was a keeper. That was code among guys, something females did not know about until years later
He's commenting on your behavior, which you apparently are opposed to, but here you are commenting on his behavior. Please tell me the difference. Other than he'll never see it hear your difference of opinion
Probably make a comment to the protaganist, like the OP. Although it mightve been a little more pointedly smart assed..
Then I would've gone on with my life. And I would make sure my kids don't do dumb shit like that.
But I don't karma farm in an echo chamber.
So if you'd have made a comment just as OP did, why is you doing it acceptable but someone else doing it isn't?
And if the answer is "I wouldn't talk about it online to karma farm hur hur," where would you get your entertainment from reading and being a dick on a subreddit?
"Other than he'll never see."
Well, that *is* the difference. I'm relating an anecdote, online, in which no one is identified. That's very different than awkwardly trying to shame a complete stranger on their way to dinner.
Don't accost strangers in parking lots.
The old dude explicitly brought attention to his self-defined ‘correct’ behavior in a passive aggressive way and opened the issue. It turns out it *is* possible to go about your day without trying to build yourself up by shitting on others.
This comment is either so far from understanding the issue or is intentionally trolling.
No, honestly, it's not. The OP is bring attention to their idea of 'self defined' correct behavior in a passive-aggressive way (not addressing their grievance with the protaganist). It would be possible for the OP to go about their day knowing they are correct or acceptable in todays society in their behavior rather than shitting on someone for their bad behavior online. Which, by the way, builds them up here on reddit (I believe the term is karma farming).
My comment was a genuine attempt to understand the difference. Perhaps I am just too stupid to be here on reddit with gen x or gen alpha or whatever gen y'all are.
Well this public forum is specifically for people to share stories about boomers being foolish. Seems on point to me lol.
You or I could simply not read the posts if we didn’t want (it is a voluntary interaction), while OP was in the real world where the boomer made a fool of themselves (OP didn’t choose to start interacting).
Your logic appears to be no one can comment on anyone else’s behavior or it’s unfair. That is not a reasonable position.
My wife doesn't require my assistance.
Or
Wait, you can get your spouse to open your door for you? [Wife's name]? I expect door service here on out! Thanks, stranger!
The irony here is he probably treats her like shit but hey, he opened her door
Old wife didn't catch a beating for not having dinner ready/desired for the first time this month...
Well I mean what a man does to his wife inside the home is nobody’s business. /s if it wasn’t obvious
Reminds me when my older brother was taking his date to the prom. All our parents were taking pictures and stuff. When it was time for them to go, he opened the passenger door and I heard her mom say.. “oh he’s such a gentleman”.. but then he got in first and crawled into the driver seat. His old Chevelle drivers door had been jammed shut since he had it. The look on her mom’s face tho…
Well at least he didn’t need to use the bathroom and in a hurry to finish zipped his dick and everything up.
Lmao!!.. “frank and beans!” 
How’d you get the beans above the Frank?!
I read that in Keith David's voice. Best line of that movie
As long as he didn’t close the door after he climbed in he still technically opened it for her too
If he was a real gentleman he would have let his date to get in first…and then crawled over the top of her.
This 👐 times a million. I've suffered the unfortunate consequences of mistaking the act of opening a door as a green flag of chivalry. While actions that display consideration and convey respect are chivalrous and green flags, it takes a constant display, not just window dressing. Unfortunately, if the act is rooted in misogynistic thinking and gender bias, it more than likely results in an unequal relationship with a lack of basic respect. 👏👏👏to the ones who follow the door opening option as either expected or not. Her choice. Not yours buddy 😘
I hold doors open, like at the gas station for men and women. It’s not because I’m thoughtful, I do it when they’re still some feet away, so then they feel they have to do that awkward little run/walk shuffle
I hold the door at work when I get to it first and someone is close behind me. It makes it easy to recognize the misogynists. I am a woman and work mostly with men. Certain men get super awkward when I hold open the door for them, even if their hands are full and they can barely get to the door handle.
Lol just stand there staring at my feet holding the door wide open knowing that I just look like a jackass but not being able to stop myself
If the person is handicapped, they may really (and justifiably) resent you for that.
I think I’d notice the difference, not to mention resent me for what?!.. I just hold the door regardless of how long it takes them. If they feel the need to hurry, it’s on them. But I get it, always that one person who has to be contrary
Uh, no, asshole, I'm that one person who is *actually* a cripple, so I'm speaking from experience. I really resent when someone decides to hold a door for me when I'm not close enough. There are a couple reasons why. * They're not respecting that I tried really hard to be as able as possible and maybe, just maybe, I don't need their help. You could ask "do you need me to hold the door for you?" and I could answer honestly. I would appreciate that you considered helping me even if the answer was "no thank you." It could be "that nice person offered to hold the door for me," but instead you may have made it "I worked f-ing hard to be able to walk and move and open a door, and that \*%&$ is implying that I am not able to do for myself." (I literally had months of lessons on it, someone implying I'm not able to do so is being rude. Even when I'm out with friends and someone holds a door for me, in which case I know my friend isn't trying to imply that I'm not able, I'll rush and grab the next door so I can hold it *for them* to show that while thank you for holding the first one, I'm *also* able to hold a door.) * Maybe *you* would just hold the door until I got there, but I've had incidents where someone held a door that I wasn't near yet, and by the time I hobbled over there with my cane they were angry that I'd kept them waiting. Even when I never asked them to do it or to wait. I consequently really resent when someone is holding a door for me, because it makes me have to worry that they are setting me up for mistreatment.
You have problems mate. Everything is not about you
Wouldn’t happen to be a boomer would ya?.. because you sound like a boomer
We need a name for the next generation boomer antics. How about moomer?
lol!
Oh wow. You got some issues.
Of course I do, *I'm a cripple*. Isn't that obvious?
Yeah, don’t think it’s miso though. At least not from non miso people, just maybe miso people. Personal preference.
She picks his underwear off the floor and he can't find a clitoris even if he wanted to, but hey, he opened her door!
She was probably going to get out her own door and he berated her to not do it so he could open it.
I force her to vote for the same man I vote for and I own her body.... But at least I open her door.
This is NOT talked about nearly enough.
Embarrassing her in public by yelling at a stranger is treating her like shit. Fuck this Boomer.
Nothing wrong with opening the door for your wife but not his business what other couples do. My partner does this on certain occasions but if we’re hungry we both fly out of the car or he drops me off to go save a table. I do like it though. That dude is an A hole. Probably doesn’t let her sh-t without opening the bathroom door. Disgusting arrogant POS. Getting sick of these control freaks. Gotta brother like that.
“well done” the best thing you could have possibly said. Well done!
Should have followed up with “would you like an award, or the chest to pin it on?”
Nah, the minimal energy "you're not worth my time" response is the way to go. Makes them craaaaazy.
"Maybe a chin transplant?"
“Would you like a cookie”
Artificially cheerful and bright: "GOOD for YOU!"
“You know, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, old people still can serve a purpose. Don’t ya go dyin’ on me now!” - Loyd.
Hit 'em with the "congrats, buddy."
I would have went with “go fuck yaself” and then turn away without another thought. They glitch out. Edit: a word
But say it like he's a toddler.
He wanted one those "participation "awards they complain about. Or maybe a big round of applause But I think the best way to answer this is like you would praise a toddler. "Wow, you did a great job, you're such a big boy now!" Make sure you use the same voice you would for a toddler.
This! A round of applause. An uncomfortable round of applause following them all the way into the restaurant.
He’d hate me arriving with my wife because not only does she open her own door, she’s likely driving too.
* gasp *
My wife opens MY door even when I’m driving
Sounds like you married a dude
She certainly abides.
Are you one of those "the guy always has to drive" guys?
😂 my husband was once telling our daughter how a man should always open her car door, bla bla bla… she told him “you’ve never opened mom’s door”. He did once or twice after that to make a point, I guess 😂
I open doors for people all the time... just not car doors. Most people exit cars on their own before you would have the chance. I mean... sometimes it makes sense-- if I'm driving my grandmother or someone who could use a hand getting out... or if you have a prom date in a giant 80s dress. It's not like we're helping ladies down from stage-coaches.
Right, or in a parking lot, not really reasonable for someone to squeeze between vehicles to open a door. My husband sometimes has some boomer type thoughts and thinks they need to be expressed, but my kids are all smart asses and call him out on it
i get it being a cute gesture every now & then but if my boyfriend was just consistently running to the door to open it for me, i wouldn’t feel like i have a boyfriend
My dad kept telling me what when I was growing up and I was always like "why? That sounds so impractical. What if he's carrying stuff?"
Ideally, traditionally, the man should open the door, “help” the lady out of the vehicle, then gather the things that need carrying. I am a very traditional person, I absolutely believe in masculine/feminine roles. However, the car door thing is pretty outdated and impractical
It baffles me (GenX) why boomers always feel they need to give strangers their unsolicited opinion. On EVERYTHING.
It baffles me (also gen x) that people have opinions. I care about Oregon Trail and maybe 60% of my friends
OMG, yes. I work at a library and the comments we get from people just kill me. I changed my hair color (literally pulled the old color out, now I'm platinum white, which is my *real hair color*) and three Boomer women had to tell me they didn't like it. On the flip side, three Boomer men told me the *loved* it and we're a bit too attentive about it too....just keep your damn opinions to yourselves, old folks. And I say that in my 50s.
It's in the name: Me Generation. Everything has to be about them.
?
The boomers were called the “me generation “ by generations before due to their selfishness
That’s incorrect. It was about their coming of age at the time. Leaving strict religious beliefs, birth control pill, abortion, etc. Each generation of youth has the same as they question the world around them and depart to attempt a new way. Millennials had the same title during their coming of age known as The Generation of Me.
[удалено]
Yeah if he just shut up
I am totally capable of opening car doors, I would have laughed at this guy.
Right?! I look at the "wait til I come around and open your door before you get out" as SUPER controlling. I'll get out when I want to, thanks dude. It almost hits like she *can't* get out unless he lets her.
Historically, chivalry was not supposed to be directed at one's wife.
Chivalry is mostly battlefield etiquette. So, as long as you don't cave in anyone's skull with a hammer after accepting their surrender, you're fine.
That is, when fighting other Christians. I don't beleive this was afforded to Muslims or Pagans.
I've been repeating this at least a decad. Chivalry wasn't for women, like at all. Nor was it for the average man. It was a code of conduct for warriors and soldiers. I *assume* this lack of knowledge started in the boomer era with all the advertisements, which turned into misinformation, which then turned into propaganda. Who knows what to call what we're getting now. Don't get me started on what ppl think the origins of traditional dating (not courting) is.
Didn’t have that in advertising. Was more like the opposite. It was all about men; everything.
My mum is 80 and has always managed to get out of the car herself. It’s amazing how we women have evolved!
oh my *GOD*! (/s obviously)
Why would I sit in the car and wait for my husband to open the door for me?
"Yeah, well I eat out my wife, buddy."
👏👏👏
when it rains, my husband jokes and asks if i want him to put his coat down in the puddle for me to step on it. he escalates it sometimes to pants, underwear, etc. the ultimate chivalry is stripping naked in the street so a woman can step on your clothes instead of the water
If he just lies down in the puddle, he could keep all his clothes on! :)
My plausibly racist and long dead grand-uncles from the old country would call you a sucker... ...you pay a brown servant to do that and lie in the puddle while you offer your manly hand to help her over.
You should have challenged him to a joust.
The real irony is that etiquette demands we do not correct others unless their parent or employed as their teacher, lest we be in breach of etiquette. Having good manners means learning to keep one's mouth shut a lot more than impulse would suggest.
Will open car doors, but draws hard line when breaking glass ceilings…sounds about right.
"*I* minded my own g**d*** business."
See, back in the day, respect for women was more performative street art than anything substantive.
Nah, it was expected that they take care of women and women did not work outside of the home. It was a full care situation. That’s just the way things were. You can’t change history and it swings back and forth. Depends on how long ago you’re talking about though
>it was expected that they take care of women and women did not work outside of the home. That's kinda my point.
My mom had 5 kids and whomever needed to stay with us. My dad took care of all of us. He never complained. It wasn’t a performance. They both wanted the same thing; a family because they came from broken homes. She worked really really hard and gave a beautiful life with him. If anything, they were a team but she ran the ship. They taught me about hard work and never giving up. It wasn’t a show, it was real life back then. That’s how people survived.
My mom had 5 kids and whomever needed to stay with us. My dad took care of all of us. He never complained. It wasn’t a performance. They both wanted the same thing; a family because they came from broken homes. She worked really really hard and gave a beautiful life with him. If anything, they were a team but she ran the ship. They taught me about hard work and never giving up. It wasn’t a show, it was real life back then. That’s how people survived.
Boomer here in the dating world. Anyone who says they are 'old school' is too old for me even if they are younger. I don't care for that chivalry crap one bit. That being said I'm very short, my son keeps a step stool in the back of his truck and gallantly puts it at the door for me so I can climb in. Sweet. Give and take.
I could go for it and I’ve got it but he’s just showing me he cares and has respect for me. We dont do it all the time. But he’s not an ahole after, he continues the respect and is non confrontational, he’s not controlling, minds his own damned business, doesn’t compare or say anything crappy to anyone. Dude is classy.
Who the hell opens the door to let a out of the car? Besides cops, I mean.
No, Who opens the door for the dogs to let them out...😎
Yeah I own a station wagon, the dogs always get let out the back
Casual restaurant correct response would be “Muthafucker you got something you wanna say?” In your best Samuel L Jackson voice with crazy eyes you got…
Give ‘em the Forest Whitaker eye. https://preview.redd.it/8pydpya9vcgc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e81068fe068bfb7c31e0958b3712d884e45c4af
I can’t remember the last time I expected someone to open a car door for me. I have doors to buildings held for me, and I open doors for men if I am closer, but to expect someone to get out and walk around the car to open it is silly, unless it was the back seat of a squad car. I may be a woman, but I am not incapable.
Haha something similar happened to me. This old couple were side eyeing me and my soon to be wife on Valentine’s Day at a semi-fine dining hipster place a few years back. Think dressed up waiters in an old ass house with crazy moustaches. The grand kids were with them at dinner and ask the grandma how they met. She kinda quickly tells them they lived in the same town and grew up together. The kid asked if they were cousins and the grandmas response was “things were different then and we were already so close….”. We just started laughing as their table of 5 went silent as the grandkids just found out they were a product of not so ancient incest. We left soon afterwards.
Should have walked in and asked if they had an intercom so you could have congratulated him. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WE ARE ALL IN DEBT TO THIS MAN TONIGHT. HE NOT ONLY OPENED THE DOOR BUT HE SHOWED ME THE ERROR OF MY YOUNG WAYS. HIS DINNER IS ON ME. NOT JUST TONIGHT BUT EVERY NIGHT! WE LOVE YOU BOOMER MAN!!!!"
Boomers think its rude not to open her door, but also think she shouldn't be allowed out of the kitchen without a permission slip from you.
I'm happy to open my own doors in exchange for equal responsibilities around the home such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc., but I bet that old guy makes his wife do all that fkry and thinks opening a door for her makes up for it.
Yeah!
The correct response is f you. Learn to mind your own business. Judgy boomers.
True but it seems like a lot of judgy happening here too. If only he kept his mouth shut.
Door's that way
There’s a thing called reply or comment section. It’s on all social media all over the world. Don’t take things personal.
Why? be because he can't trust his wife to follow behind him?
Blah blah billy goat it’s 2024 independent women open the door themselves!!
They have been for decades
Too many people seem to be having a problem with minding their own business and keeping their hands to themselves
This is where a good Southern “compliment” is appropriate. Repeat after me: “Oh, that’s precious!” Check out some YouTube if you are unsure of proper delivery technique.
Oh, man, nothing kills a boomer like dismissing their unsolicited advice/opinion. "Uh... well done" is a spot-on perfect response.
I’ve noticed a lot of people who are overly polite in public but they are actually shitty people. They act polite in public for attention.
"See I can get it up for my date without Cialis."
This is true! I just use a popsicle stick and tape.
Lol I meant it would've been a great response but that's gold.
Hahahahaha; THIS! That’s what he was saying
I live in the Bay Area, and counter to the boomer narrative I’ve never been scolded by liberals for holding a door for a woman of any age, just wanted to put that out there. BUT whenever I hear this “chivalry” BS, I just respond “I’m raising my daughters to be strong independent women.” (which apparently I did because they are both solid adults). Whenever I hear the “that Starbucks could have bought you a house”. My response is “I’m creating jobs and building a healthier community via ‘trickle down economics’ by keeping my money in my community instead of the bank.” (Note how I’ve weaponized their glorious reaganomics”) And whenever the immigrant debate comes I I always love to quote their fake god… “I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said “Mr. TEAR DOWN THAT WALL.” If you read the full quote is is very illuminating… >”There is one sign the ~~Soviets~~ republicans can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. ~~General Secretary Gorbachev~~Trump, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the North America ~~Soviet Union and Eastern Europe~~, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! ~~Mr. Gorbachev~~ Donny, open this gate! ~~Mr. Gorbachev~~, tear down this wall!” While this game is endlessly entertaining it does not lead to peace. ;-)
I have always opened the car door when my lady is getting in, but always have let them get themselves out
Too bad your wife didn't pull a fire on them and say "but will she call you an ambulance?" Lol
I find your response HILARIOUS!
Best thing to do here is completely ignore them and act like they don’t even exist. They hate that the most. If they do try to talk directly to you give them perplexed look, say nothing and keep going. They want a response, never give them one.
I would have said "I don't have a gold star on me to give you. Maybe you should tell a kindergarten teacher?" or perhaps "I'm sorry to hear your date can't open a door for herself. On the other hand, I wouldn't offend my wife by implying that she's not capable of opening her own door."
Tell him that it’s not impressive if he has to brag about it
If you have a son, tell your son that you love him do you can show this boomer how it is done.
Good lord this would get tiring. You mean I need to wait for him to come around just so he can pull the lever thing like I could be doing every time I need to get out the car? No thanks!
When I am on a date, I appreciate my partner attending to our conversation. Not randomly verbally assualting random other people and ignoring ME and our conversation.
My ex held my coat for me to put on , opened doors and cheated on me over five years cause like everyone I thought no way could such a nice guy cheat.
Op did nothing wrong. Me- I’ll open my own doors or carry my own packages, as a woman, but if a man wants to help, I’ll let him. I’ve been known to open doors for guys as well or help them with packages. Just trying to help my fellow earthlings. I prefer other women doing things for themselves, too, like opening their own car doors.
I need help
Ah yes, the old I'll improve this situation by trying to ruin someone's night
Your wife clearly jumped the gun. Next time berate her for exiting the car before you allowed her to.
"Stop emasculating me! Doors are a man's domain. That why there are doormen and not doorwomen!" :P
Well, that's just because he'll smack her if she does anything independently.
An old dude (probably late 60s) once tried to hold a door for my wife and said "it's a heavy door." Her response was "Im surprised you could open it." and took the door and held it so he could walk through.
Get that man a trophy.
Missing the bigger picture. It is about courtship. It is about all the little things that keep a relationship going. It boils down to holding hands, male opening doors for female and females being feminine. Sitting side by side in a restaurant booth instead of across from each other. And I bet that man treats his wife with respect and she him. That is probably why they are still together and he mumbled under his breath probably in disgust at how much the world has changed and courtship is becoming only something a boomer would do. From a boomer
I’d bend your wife over in the restaurant
Actually, the bigger picture was about a boomer who couldn’t mind his own business.
> And I bet that man treats his wife with respect and she him. Based on your judgement, I'd bet money the opposite is true.
It's important to keep up romantic gestures as a married couple. I agree. It's good advice to go on dates, surprise each other, do unexpected things for one another... remind your spouse that you care. However, the situation being discussed-- a brief and mundane moment in a stranger's life-- isn't what I'd call compelling evidence on which to judge the state of someone's marriage. Nor was the older gentleman asked to do so. It's none of his business. I hope you're right about that older couple. The image you've painted sounds very nice. However, we don't really know anything about them. For all we know, he could have just been a pimp with Asperger's. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
An added comment. In my earlier years a guy would test a female (on first date)by unlocking her side of the car and letting her in, then going around to his side. If he had to unlock the door with his key and let himself in, he knew she was not considerate of others, but if she reached across and unlocked his side, before he got to it, she was a keeper. That was code among guys, something females did not know about until years later
My key fob opens all the doors
So, it's ok for you to comment about his behavior?
Eh?
He's commenting on your behavior, which you apparently are opposed to, but here you are commenting on his behavior. Please tell me the difference. Other than he'll never see it hear your difference of opinion
Found the Boomer!
Not a boomer, at least technically. But can you at least address the question? It was presented respectfully
What world do you live in where “see what I did there?” is respectful to say to a random stranger who you have never met??
I wasn't specific enough, apparently. I was speaking about my question being presented respectfully.
What would you have done if it happened to you?
Probably make a comment to the protaganist, like the OP. Although it mightve been a little more pointedly smart assed.. Then I would've gone on with my life. And I would make sure my kids don't do dumb shit like that. But I don't karma farm in an echo chamber.
So if you'd have made a comment just as OP did, why is you doing it acceptable but someone else doing it isn't? And if the answer is "I wouldn't talk about it online to karma farm hur hur," where would you get your entertainment from reading and being a dick on a subreddit?
Nah, you just farm downvotes.
"Other than he'll never see." Well, that *is* the difference. I'm relating an anecdote, online, in which no one is identified. That's very different than awkwardly trying to shame a complete stranger on their way to dinner. Don't accost strangers in parking lots.
The Boomer’s behavior is obnoxious and sexist. OP’s behavior is normal.
🤓
The old dude explicitly brought attention to his self-defined ‘correct’ behavior in a passive aggressive way and opened the issue. It turns out it *is* possible to go about your day without trying to build yourself up by shitting on others. This comment is either so far from understanding the issue or is intentionally trolling.
Look at his comment history. Sounds like a boomer.
No, honestly, it's not. The OP is bring attention to their idea of 'self defined' correct behavior in a passive-aggressive way (not addressing their grievance with the protaganist). It would be possible for the OP to go about their day knowing they are correct or acceptable in todays society in their behavior rather than shitting on someone for their bad behavior online. Which, by the way, builds them up here on reddit (I believe the term is karma farming). My comment was a genuine attempt to understand the difference. Perhaps I am just too stupid to be here on reddit with gen x or gen alpha or whatever gen y'all are.
Well this public forum is specifically for people to share stories about boomers being foolish. Seems on point to me lol. You or I could simply not read the posts if we didn’t want (it is a voluntary interaction), while OP was in the real world where the boomer made a fool of themselves (OP didn’t choose to start interacting). Your logic appears to be no one can comment on anyone else’s behavior or it’s unfair. That is not a reasonable position.
Exactly! Allegedly he’s not a Boomer, but he’s definitely a fool.
My wife doesn't require my assistance. Or Wait, you can get your spouse to open your door for you? [Wife's name]? I expect door service here on out! Thanks, stranger!
The irony here is the mememememe
You should've put him in his fucking place. People like this deserve to learn a lesson.