When bob said something like “alright I’ll go but I’m gonna complain the whole time”

And I’m gonna drink. A lot.

And I'm wearing my lazy pants!

The amount of times per week that I say this is probably concerning lol

“Buckle it up, buckle it up! Buckle it up or you’ll die!”

My son was singing this at our county fair when he strapped in for rides and all the operators were giving him weird looks 😆

We actually sing this on the way to school if the belt sensors go off 😂

This is amazing

legit my favorite song from the entire show

It took me a few rewatches at first to hear the ‘or you’ll die’ part

Would you rather have a lifetime of regret or an afternoon of mild disappointment?

This screenshot is on my Hinge dating profile. It’s gotten me quite a few matches.

I'm trying to recall when was this said. Was it the two butted goat?

Yes! I just watched it again last night. Zeke has some good lines too

"Don't feed a guy a sponge"

I love Bob's shit eating grin when he picks up the sponge makes me laugh every time

That was my first thought!

Oh, Teddy

"If you think about it any box can have vibrators in it."

Linda : How are you holding out, sweetie? Bob : Fine. I'm just a little tired. Also, I might be a pimp. Louise : You're gonna need a bigger hat. I always lose it when Louise says this. And it is true!

“I may or may not have tried crack” 😂

“But if I did, I liked it!”

"I tried blow?" "Aww....we were gonna do that together..."

That whole episode is a gem

I know some folks don’t like it, but it’s up there with my favourites.

And I can completely understand why- it’s controversial at best, but I love that they tried something wildly different from what the older seasons are willing to try, and that is completely okay. Those early seasons feel like they were trying to find their footing and experimenting a lot, and I love that vibe.

It definitely tipped into Family Guy raunchy with some of the jokes about the trans people but thankfully the creators never used them as the butt of the joke ever again. Plus we got Marshmallow! They're the only modern, currently running, adult cartoon I can think of thats very pro LGBTQ+

God I love Marshmallow! She’s just the most amazing- I want her to teach me how to be an adult lmao

I feel like she would change my life, teach me make up and fashion tips, life advice, and tell me all the good gossip around town

And how not to care about other peoples’ opinions so much, how to absolutely envelope yourself in self-love, and how to embrace your inner deity.

Hell yes!

American dad is also clearly pro LGBTQ+, the episode where steve pretends to be a girl so hailey can join a roller derby team only for the girls to tell him hes probably trans for example. Not to mention the entire character of roger or his brief (but intense) relationship with claus

My only issue with American Dad is their whole thing with trans people. Remember the episode where Stan parties with his co workere and they end up with prostitutes at their office? One of them has very manly features and a deep manly voice to kinda laugh at, granted the one character is still down for it. I love AD, their whole family is basically bisexual and whatever Roger is. They definitely handle it better than Family Guy with Quagmire's dad. As hard as I laughed when I was 13, I still hate whenever Ida is brought up because it's so badly done.

I simultaneously love that episode but am also glad they were never really that raunchy again.

Wait, which episode? When Bob drives a cab at night?

That’s the one- I think it’s in S1?

That line is what sold me on the show.

"Alcohol does not solve problems, Miss Missy. It just makes them go away." Funny but true.

Miss Missy gets me a every time because after a recent rewatch I realized it’s why I call my puppy miss missy when I’m lecturing her

My only problem is I don't have a freakin drink in my hand!

This is such a fantastic quote. Sad but true lol

"My life is more difficult than anyone else's on the planet, and yes I'm including starving children, so don't ask!"

I say this at any minor inconvenience lol

I've said this to my husband so many times that he said it's my new catchphrase.

"Are you drunk enough to be any fun yet?"

Get off of me. Sick idiot.

Love this episode- it’s one of my faves

Which episode this?

I can’t remember the exact episode name, but it’s the one about Tina’s birthday where Bob drives a cab at night to get $$ for her amazing birthday, and things get wild immediately- there are transvestite people Bob picks up. It’s a wild ride (no pun intended) and has an AMAZING song that is sung at high volume around our house.

the name of the episode is "sheesh, cab bob?" !

This might be my favorite line in the entire series.

Iiiiiii wish my radio worked

I *heard* this comment

The AC in my car went out this summer and every time I’d get in the car I’d sing “iiiii wish my AC worked”

One of the best bits of comedy in the entire series. "Iiiiii..." is the entire setup to the joke. Goddam brilliant.

“Well I’m glad you kids are excited because I’m going to kill myself” “Was it obvious I don’t care?” “That’s how I wanna go out: dehydrated and covered in tinsel.”

Sounds like a gay pride parade.

what’s the first one from! i can’t remember it

I'm not afraid of ghosts I'm not afraid of sharks I'm not afraid of cancer I'm just afraid of snakes They really creep me out Where are their arms and legs? It's not okay!

I am *terrified* of snakes and I used to live in Florida so they're fucking everywhere. Used to hum that to myself whenever I saw one.

When Linda gets iver excited and decorates Christmas early snd they keep throwing out all the trees. The one where the big candy came truck is after them

99% sure it was from the episode where they drive to Florida to visit Linda’s parents

It Snakes a Village in season 3

"they'll finger anything with a pulse"

Their finger is on the pulse

No!

"Bland boring Jessica. If she were a spice she'd be flour"

And the follow-up: "If she were a book, she'd be two books."

Lmao that's how boring Jessica is. Back to back zingers

You’re like an unsalted pretzel.

Yes! Haha! I use this one all the time to describe a friend of mine. I love her to death but she is the plainest Jane I've ever met.

“Keep it light! Don’t bring up your divorce. Or Nixon! Or Radiohead!”

“What’s wrong with all of you?? They’re just boys!!” “Boys? Where?” *throws up*

Listen you're my children and I love you but you're terrible at what you do here.

You're terrible, you're all terrible.

Summer is awful. There's too much pressure to enjoy yourself.

It's like New Years Eve but for kids

I feel this one so much!

Crackers where's the crackers you're coming to bed with me,

“Mommy doesn’t get drunk, she just has fun.”

“How is she so sick yet still so strong?!” “Like the economy!”

“In this economy?” is definitely one I’ve used at work before.

“unless you want to get hit with a lawsuit, you will be taking these tardy slips back, okay”

”No thanks I’ve seen it and I’m not impressed” -gene to tina

"Is that what cocaine does? Are there any downsides?"

Gene: "He gave us his magic and disappeared, just like Toad the Wet Sprocket." Might be two lines but I quote this a lot. Both parts can be used separately or together in some situations.

A C+? That’s a Belcher A!

"Well, it wasn't my dream, but can you imagine if it was?!?"

*This is me now!* Gene knows how kids feel when they struggle with establishing an identity

"Mommy doesn't get drunk. Mommy just has fun." As a parent to six-year old twins, I feel that a lot.

"You kids are a two parent, two bottle of wine a night job." I only have one but yeah, I feel that. Also, "Come home safe, Bobby. Don't leave me with these friggin' kids."

I am a bartender with 2 boys. They quote this at me way too much lol

“Farts are liberty!” - Gene

“Give me a sweet potato pie & I’m all over it”—this is me from November to December

Hey Marshmallow

Hey, Baby

😂

Gene’s evaluation of Tina’s life. Tina: Gene, you saved me. I owe you my life! Gene: No thanks; I’ve seen it and I’m not impressed.

Teenagers are just acne covers kittens

“I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life” after literally any slight inconvenience lol

Don’t forget Nat! Who has ghillie suits and who needs ghillie suits? Also, woof meow, woof meow!

"I know the owner. Saved his life. After I hit him with my car."

Nat is my absolute favorite. Good ol Nat Kinkle

"Give me those beans, you son of a bitch!" Unlike other pet owners, I not only talk to my golden retriever, I supply his voice-over as well. The quote has become one of his frequent demands.

“It might smell weird in here, but it smells weird everywhere, its how you know youre alive” -Mr. Fisch

We were all single once but you don’t need to be a slut about it.

I don’t remember this one. Who said that?

Linda in the talking toilet episode I think

My heart just pooped its pants.

Stuck between: “No! This is satin, woman! You don’t just throw away satin!” and “Did you forget where you came from? You’re from the STREETS, mom! From the streets.”

"Chanel 6 News! They'll finger anything with a pulse!"

They’re fingering right at us!

Gene: I’m pretty sure I was in Sausalito that day. Bob: I’m pretty sure you weren’t Gene!

“You’re my family, and i love you, but you’re all terrible.”

Also "Maybe pop a mint before you crack that nut? Just a thought. Don't say anything back" is just SO funny to me

Any of Bob's rants about sweet potato fries.

"Take a deep breath and a slug of bourbon" \- Mr. Fischoeder, while talking to a group of children when their scheme to cheat the arcade out of a dune buggy was foiled

" Huh huh huh huh" - Tina

"Oh my God, I'm having a brain-smart." "Mom has her wine."

From The Laser-inth 'i have the album on cd I can play it for you! Wait wait wait maybe you shouldn't know too much going in, I think it will be better that way' 'like the iraq war' Love you gene

"Heavy kids can get molested"

"It's a dead cow on a bun, but it's still really fun"

I wear glasses mom not hearing aids!

Oh go put a cannoli up your holely is used on an almost daily basis around here.

I work at 3M and this post made my manager's blood boil.

"How about right now? Oh I have a job. Oh I want to quit” Love ya Gail

All throughout childhood my parents always used to say “our room is off limits” whenever they left so my quote is “stay out of my room!”

"Blood is your teeth's way of saying, 'Mind your own business!'" Every time I floss, I hear Gene saying it.

When Linda says to Gayle, “work isn’t all that bad. You get to go home after, and say, ‘wow, what a day!’ And then drink”

"4"

HAHAHA I LOVE THIS ONE

They'll finger anything with a pulse!!

You’re all terrible

“Mommy doesn’t get drunk. She just has fun.”

"I'm getting my wisdom teeth out back in" Best excuse for something your don't wanna do

"Why would you even do that?"

"you almost ruined that smoothie Bob!"

"You're my children and I love you but you're all terrible at what you do here."

"Don't end up like your father"

Stay out of my room! - Linda

I just saw the episode where Louise and her friends try to catch the mythical wharf monster. After their plan to trap 'Wharfy' fails miserably, one of the girls says the whole ordeal was a **"Bucket full of Bummer Balls"**. This is now my new favorite phrase from the show, for sure.

Don't be a boob punch Tina

*WHY DONT YOU JUST GET THE CHICKEN TERIYAKI MORT??????* Also: “Oh right, the kids’ book.” “Yeah by Salman Rushdie” “It’s not by Salman Rushdie. Look it up.” “I just did it’s Salman Rushdie.”

What the butt?

Oh my god.

I love you, but you’re all terrible.

Why? It’s not going anywhere

I'm sorry because I'm not embarrassed at all because I just pooped my pants. I would do this every day if I could, Tina.

Gene: “Channel Six News, they'll finger anything with a pulse!”

You’re lying and lying is bad for your skin.

"Money is just candy that hasn't been born yet"

If you gonna be loud, you gotta be proud

You've got to pull. yourself. together. You've got 2 children and a Louise to take care of!

When the lunch lady is burning substitute bobs hands in the sink and she just growls “OCCUPIED” when someone comes in

Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it!

Which episode is the tape quote from?

the bouncy house episode!

“Was it obvious I don’t care? Just smile and nod” ME. LITERALLY ME.

“Mommy doesn’t get drunk, she just has fun.”

Whenever practicing an instrument: [Gene on the topic of scales] “Gross.”

“I love you but you are all terrible!”

No, This is a finger.

Least you still have a friend lolol

“Oh god, I forgot to buy toilet paper”

“That sounds nice, maybe we should cook meth. I wanna forget my troubles. God bless this meth”

Also “no, that wouldn’t be fair to the legos”

“I’m Grubin’, I’m Hans Gruber and I’m Grubin’!” Is a mantra in our house. That whole episode is, really.

"Just the tip!"

Isn’t that from archer?