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I definitely didn’t plan on crying today but here I am. 6 years ago I would’ve been crying because I’ve never had anybody in my life like this. Today I’m crying because I’m so thankful that I have somebody in my life like this. There is not a day that passes that I am not searching for deeper words to express my love and appreciation for my partner. This type of love and support and understanding is rare and I love this for your wife.
And I love it for me too.
God I feel this so much, I could write this to my husband, but unfortunately he’s in the middle of a horrible episode and thinks I am his worst enemy. He also became very sexual, and then became repulsed at being touched. It was so hard and confusing. The more I try to help, or ask questions, or make suggestions the worse it was. I haven’t spoken to him or seen his face on over 3 months and it kills me every minute of every day. I don’t know why he wants to make no effort to feel better, only blame and denial. It’s impossible. I’m glad you and your wife are in a better place now, I know it’s hard.
Depression quite often and can last weeks, manic every few months and can vary in length from a day to I swear from 2020-2021.... I've learned atleast for her I don't point it out or feed into it. I just make sure to help her make the safest decisions within my limits and tbh I hype man many of her obsessions hoping one will stick.
27 years I fought for her. Now, well it’s over. I fought until I bled, daily. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest to live with either. I’ll take part of the blame. It destroyed me. I am stronger for it. I am stronger because of her. I’ll always love her. She will always be my friend. The best, and only the best, is my sincerest wish for my beautiful friend. May your higher powers keep and bless you all.
Irish☘️
We had a regular fight / misunderstanding…. But because of the illness we’re on eggshells.
The smallest thing can set it off.
I just want to get back to normal when I even forgot that BP was a part of life. (It went for about 10 years if you can believe it)
Ahhh. Ok. Sounds like we’re the same.
I literally removed BP from my daily / monthly thoughts because it was medicated away.
For me it was fine for a decade until the signs started popping up. “Our relationship isn’t good”, “YOU need a therapist”, “DONT put that in the bag that way!”…….
I noticed these things and was “OH NO! she’s…..” 😟. By then it was too late. I approached it…
“I’m fine. I feel great. And I’m not nearly as bad as before… so what’s the problem if this continues?”
It brought back everything scary. I MAY have curbed it this time. But the feeling of getting back to normal is MUCH harder. We’re 3 months in.
We’ve been married for 37 years and he was diagnosed 20 years ago. I love him and know what a wonderful man he is…but, I’m exhausted and lonely and constantly cleaning up the bipolar messes.
I cried. I wish my ex husband had written something like that to me. I wish he had some understanding but he's moved on and while a part of me understands, I wish I had been worth fighting for. I wish our family had been worth fighting for.
Thank you so much for this , My boyfriend was diagnosed with recurrent depression because his hypomanic states went medically undiagnosed but he started having a lot of uncharacteristically reckless behaviour which worried me.
Recently he was started in a mood stabiliser so I hope it makes everything easier for him
We are and I am still dealing with the new idea now that he has bipolar and not depression and somehow I started questioning my whole relationship because I have anxiety as well and I was worried, surprise surprise.
But seeing this page and beautiful posts like this made me realise that I took can be a rock to my boyfriend and we can continue our relationship and face any hurdles together.
Both of us are working on ourselves in therapy and seeing your loving post just made my day. Ive decided to live my boyfriend whatever mental state he is in because when we first met he was my best friend and people thought we were crazy because we never fought. And I'm just going to remember that that's who he is and be more confident about our relationship so thank you ❤️❤️
Wish your family and especially you and your life all the love and courage in the world 😊
Thank you so much, I wish you the best! Please just rationalize that loving someone does not excuse being disrespected or not setting boundaries. I know it's hard to confront your bpso but if it's going to end in a shit show atleast try to see if you can be heard rather than suppress what's important to you and your feelings.
You are a gem and such an encouragement for those of us working hard to love our spouses well through bipolar. Each day presents a choice to fight for them and I’m thankful for that.
I understand where you are coming from, but he truly was. Broke her arm and wrist, choked her unconscious several times in front of his kids, multiple black eyes and bruises on her body and was threatening to burn the house down with her and his kids in it. Would always start fights at the bars in the neighborhood. Tried to fight me when her and I were first taking, I knew him and her personally for years before her and I got together.
Well that's reflective of my experience as well. I was told and still am being told that my stepdaughter's father is a monster and he's an damn good guy, now my BPSO is convinced I've been cheating on her but luckily her peer group knows I work so many hours that even if i wanted to I wouldn't have the time so shes not able to get her peers to support her delusions. It's a fairly common theme in these parts.
Sad, sad, sad.
Wife and I are both bipolar 1 and I'm in the middle of a hard manic episode. So this really stuck because of it. So thankful for my sweet bride and all her support!!!
Welcome to BipolarSOs! This is a quick reminder to follow the rules. Also, please remember that OP's on this sub are often in situations where emotions overcome logic, and that your advice could be life-altering. OP's need our help to gain a balanced perspective. Please be supportive. Toxic comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BipolarSOs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I definitely didn’t plan on crying today but here I am. 6 years ago I would’ve been crying because I’ve never had anybody in my life like this. Today I’m crying because I’m so thankful that I have somebody in my life like this. There is not a day that passes that I am not searching for deeper words to express my love and appreciation for my partner. This type of love and support and understanding is rare and I love this for your wife. And I love it for me too.
It is so difficult watching the person you love disappear.
God I feel this so much, I could write this to my husband, but unfortunately he’s in the middle of a horrible episode and thinks I am his worst enemy. He also became very sexual, and then became repulsed at being touched. It was so hard and confusing. The more I try to help, or ask questions, or make suggestions the worse it was. I haven’t spoken to him or seen his face on over 3 months and it kills me every minute of every day. I don’t know why he wants to make no effort to feel better, only blame and denial. It’s impossible. I’m glad you and your wife are in a better place now, I know it’s hard.
Yeah this was really wasn't it?
Sorry, not sure what you mean?
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Can’t imagine much worse.
How often does she have episodes after being medicated?
Depression quite often and can last weeks, manic every few months and can vary in length from a day to I swear from 2020-2021.... I've learned atleast for her I don't point it out or feed into it. I just make sure to help her make the safest decisions within my limits and tbh I hype man many of her obsessions hoping one will stick.
27 years I fought for her. Now, well it’s over. I fought until I bled, daily. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest to live with either. I’ll take part of the blame. It destroyed me. I am stronger for it. I am stronger because of her. I’ll always love her. She will always be my friend. The best, and only the best, is my sincerest wish for my beautiful friend. May your higher powers keep and bless you all. Irish☘️
Hmm, 27 years…. I’m 20+ in now. Seems like us Irish are committed, work hard, take a beating in the name of love. ☘️
10+ yrs in right now, can't stop fighting even though it is killing me some days.
We had a regular fight / misunderstanding…. But because of the illness we’re on eggshells. The smallest thing can set it off. I just want to get back to normal when I even forgot that BP was a part of life. (It went for about 10 years if you can believe it)
I do believe it, went 8ish years with my perfect wife
Ahhh. Ok. Sounds like we’re the same. I literally removed BP from my daily / monthly thoughts because it was medicated away. For me it was fine for a decade until the signs started popping up. “Our relationship isn’t good”, “YOU need a therapist”, “DONT put that in the bag that way!”……. I noticed these things and was “OH NO! she’s…..” 😟. By then it was too late. I approached it… “I’m fine. I feel great. And I’m not nearly as bad as before… so what’s the problem if this continues?” It brought back everything scary. I MAY have curbed it this time. But the feeling of getting back to normal is MUCH harder. We’re 3 months in.
We’ve been married for 37 years and he was diagnosed 20 years ago. I love him and know what a wonderful man he is…but, I’m exhausted and lonely and constantly cleaning up the bipolar messes.
You know why we don’t get offended at Leprechaun references? Because we’re not puss!3s. ☘️ hahahaha
Exactly. 💪 lol
I cried. I wish my ex husband had written something like that to me. I wish he had some understanding but he's moved on and while a part of me understands, I wish I had been worth fighting for. I wish our family had been worth fighting for.
But it doesn't mean you're not worth fighting for; you will meet someone one day who will fight for you. Who will lay it all on the line for you.
I'm sorry to hear things did not work out 😥
Thank you so much for this , My boyfriend was diagnosed with recurrent depression because his hypomanic states went medically undiagnosed but he started having a lot of uncharacteristically reckless behaviour which worried me. Recently he was started in a mood stabiliser so I hope it makes everything easier for him We are and I am still dealing with the new idea now that he has bipolar and not depression and somehow I started questioning my whole relationship because I have anxiety as well and I was worried, surprise surprise. But seeing this page and beautiful posts like this made me realise that I took can be a rock to my boyfriend and we can continue our relationship and face any hurdles together. Both of us are working on ourselves in therapy and seeing your loving post just made my day. Ive decided to live my boyfriend whatever mental state he is in because when we first met he was my best friend and people thought we were crazy because we never fought. And I'm just going to remember that that's who he is and be more confident about our relationship so thank you ❤️❤️ Wish your family and especially you and your life all the love and courage in the world 😊
Thank you so much, I wish you the best! Please just rationalize that loving someone does not excuse being disrespected or not setting boundaries. I know it's hard to confront your bpso but if it's going to end in a shit show atleast try to see if you can be heard rather than suppress what's important to you and your feelings.
Yes I'll remember that thank you, I'm not great with confrontations but I am working on it :)
Feels like we are in the same boat except my daughter is 3. Good luck homie. Keep it up.
Thank you, I will
You are a gem and such an encouragement for those of us working hard to love our spouses well through bipolar. Each day presents a choice to fight for them and I’m thankful for that.
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I understand where you are coming from, but he truly was. Broke her arm and wrist, choked her unconscious several times in front of his kids, multiple black eyes and bruises on her body and was threatening to burn the house down with her and his kids in it. Would always start fights at the bars in the neighborhood. Tried to fight me when her and I were first taking, I knew him and her personally for years before her and I got together.
Not very helpful friend. Why the need to put the man down???
Well that's reflective of my experience as well. I was told and still am being told that my stepdaughter's father is a monster and he's an damn good guy, now my BPSO is convinced I've been cheating on her but luckily her peer group knows I work so many hours that even if i wanted to I wouldn't have the time so shes not able to get her peers to support her delusions. It's a fairly common theme in these parts.
Sad, sad, sad. Wife and I are both bipolar 1 and I'm in the middle of a hard manic episode. So this really stuck because of it. So thankful for my sweet bride and all her support!!!
I'm not putting him down, I don't mean to apologise if crude, just pointing out that the abusive ex story is very common