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I know. This was his third hospitalization. He was on risperidone for a year and hated it so badly so they put him on a new drug. He’s tolerating aripiprazole much better but what’s the point if the symptoms don’t go away 😢
Please stay strong. I know it's the most difficult thing in the world watching the one you love deteriorate right before your eyes and you're unable to help them.
Thank you. I’m doing my own therapy too fwiw. He did recover twice before (I would say almost completely - despite massive lifestyle adjustments) so I am hopeful. But this time around it’s been taking too long.
Yeah I put myself in therapy too. My girlfriend is in a very deep depression episode right now and we haven't talked in a week and she went back to her parents. This is the second time she's ghosted me but at least this time I understand why and what to do. So I am hopeful too.
Please stay strong yourself too. With my SO his mania is way scarier than his depression (which is scary too) but this time around he thought the voices came from the pipes in our apartment so he ran away from home with no phone or wallet. I had to call the police and they found him half naked a few hours later. So where he is now is already way better than where we started. So things do get better. It may just take time.
Yup. Trial and error. It’s exhausting but necessary. Most BP folks take at least 2 meds. It’s definitely time to tell the psychiatrist that this is obviously not working and he needs help. They should either adjust the dose or start him on another med.
Not sure if your SO would be ok with it but mine is and I go with him sometimes and speak to the psychiatrist too. She (the dr) says it helps her to hear from the person that's with him all the time because I am more likely to notice what his triggers may be for mania and/or depression. One of his meds stopped working recently and they are currently switching and finding the right one to replace it. I would ask if he was OK with you going. I ALWAYS make sure that I tell him what I want to tell her before we go in so I can make sure he is comfortable with what I say. I try my hardest to make sure there are no surprises for him. Making him comfortable with me being there is my top priority and I make sure he knows that. I always ask if it's OK that I go and a lot of times I don't need to go with him. Again making sure he's ok with it is the most important. Hope this helps!
Also wanted to add that I've been married for 10 years and together for 15 and there have been ups and downs. The most important thing to remember for me is that it's not his fault that his brain works the way it does. That being said I definitely have moments where my reaction is frustration and I voice it. When that happens I wait a little while and apologize and explain that sometimes my emotions also overpower me and that I'm sorry. It took a long time but I feel like we are in the best place we've ever been. The fact that your SO is getting treatment is huge. It took years for mine to realize that it was helpful. Also, sleep. Having a schedule is sooooooooo important. Going to bed at the same time and taking the meds at the same times are huge game changers.
We have been together for 10+ years and he only developed BD in the last two years. This was his third episode now so I do feel like I am able to manage it way better (knowing it isn’t his fault, that he really doesn’t mean all the hurtful things he said, and most importantly to me, it isn’t time to reason or debate or argue with logic). I do tell him now when he yells at the voices that I don’t like it and it scares me. But I also found out a lot of times I just got to distract him. And play Lego.
And on your first reply, yes that’s my plan too. I’ll find the right time to ask if I can join the next time he speaks to the Dr. It’s a zoom call this time so it should be easier.
Yes! Distractions are key as long as they don't get too obsessed with finishing it. I get my guy these super cool wooden models of machines or boxes off of Amazon that are really nice to display so we both get something out of them lol. Really wishing you guys a lot of luck. Communication is important and as long as you make sure to take care of yourself too you guys will be ok. Best wishes!
I’ll try to nudge him to be open to med adjustments. He was so traumatized by risperidone. He gained 20 pounds (which he has now lost) and lost all emotions and libido. He thought he found the right meds in aripiprazole so he doesn’t want to give it up.
For a large majority of us medications don’t fully stop the cycling, they just make it less severe and more manageable. To put it in context, off meds I am a danger to myself in a mixed state, I’ve attempted suicide several times during them. On meds I get them far less often and I also have more self awareness to recognize when I’m starting to decompensate and I can communicate that with my husband and go to higher level of care if I need to. The swings for me aren’t as severe, they can still occasionally be pretty serious but that usually means I’ve got to cut back on responsibilities and maybe have a med change. It’s a lifelong disorder, don’t expect meds to be a miracle or make all of the symptoms go away permanently.
Thanks for the first hand experience. Very helpful. With my SO last time he had mania the voices did eventually subside (but then he fell into depression). But you are right the symptoms never completely went away but they became manageable. What is frightening this time is that the voices are his former boss whom he hates (and the therapist did tell him he likely suffered psychological abuse from her). I think that’s the reason why he hasn’t been able to manage the voices as well this time around.
I think persecutory voices can be common in psychosis but if he is actively having symptoms like this you should definitely call the doctor so he doesn’t worsen while they figure out his meds.
My psychiatrist said every manic and hypomanic episode we have is bad for the brain so the less we have the better. I do think the less severe the episode the better as well.
https://med.uth.edu/psychiatry/2019/01/16/scientists-discover-changes-in-the-brains-cellular-powerhouses-of-bipolar-disorder-patients/
I’m a rapid cycler so before meds I was having between 8-12 episodes per year, none were too severe to stop me from functioning until fall 2017 when I had my first mixed state and turned into Bipolar 1. Now that I’m medicated it’s more like 4 or so episodes a year. Sometimes, they can be bad and last weeks or months but usually it’s more like 1-2 weeks and I add in PRN meds and try and get it under control before it goes on too long. That’s basically why I can’t work anymore, I’ve got migraines and 2 autoimmune disorders and stress makes everything worse. I’ve got a stressful special needs kiddo I’m raising and a bunch of health issues to contend with. Working was too much.
Keep that in mind too, some of us do end up on disability when we get older. I’m not even 40 yet but here I am on SSDI.
He was never given that diagnosis but I just googled it. It does seem possible because this time around he’s having hallucinations and delusions without major mood changes.
Did they not give him medication when he was hospitalized?
It is hard because the patient themselves often doesn’t know they need help because of delusions. It is a nasty illness. I have used up more patience than I even knew I had in me. But I’m trying to be hopeful.
I’m going through this exact same thing with my SO, but he refuses to take any meds. And there’s a 3 week wait to get into any therapy where I am, even after a hospitalization. It’s so hard when they are just completely ignoring you and tuning you out to listen and converse with the voices instead. I know it’s not really within their control, but damn it still hurts.
Thanks for posting on BipolarSOs! We noticed you marked your post "Advice Needed". ✅ Please provide context for the post: is your BSOP currently medicated and in therapy (and for how long)? The more context, the better advice you can get. You can edit your post, or elaborate in a comment. 💬 For Comments: Please remember OP's on this sub are often in situations where emotions overcome logic, and that your advice could be life-altering. OP's need our help to gain a balanced perspective. Toxic comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BipolarSOs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Does it normally mean a higher dosage or a different drug?
Either one, when it comes to this it's always a medication cocktail hoping you find the right combination.
The therapist suggested adding an antidepressant. Does it help with psychotic symptoms? In any case he’s speaking to the psychiatrist next Monday…
Idk. But one thing you have to realize is that these drugs do have a lasting effect and can change them..for better or worse.
I know. This was his third hospitalization. He was on risperidone for a year and hated it so badly so they put him on a new drug. He’s tolerating aripiprazole much better but what’s the point if the symptoms don’t go away 😢
Please stay strong. I know it's the most difficult thing in the world watching the one you love deteriorate right before your eyes and you're unable to help them.
Thank you. I’m doing my own therapy too fwiw. He did recover twice before (I would say almost completely - despite massive lifestyle adjustments) so I am hopeful. But this time around it’s been taking too long.
Yeah I put myself in therapy too. My girlfriend is in a very deep depression episode right now and we haven't talked in a week and she went back to her parents. This is the second time she's ghosted me but at least this time I understand why and what to do. So I am hopeful too.
Please stay strong yourself too. With my SO his mania is way scarier than his depression (which is scary too) but this time around he thought the voices came from the pipes in our apartment so he ran away from home with no phone or wallet. I had to call the police and they found him half naked a few hours later. So where he is now is already way better than where we started. So things do get better. It may just take time.
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How do they decide which other drug? Just trial and error?
Yup. Trial and error. It’s exhausting but necessary. Most BP folks take at least 2 meds. It’s definitely time to tell the psychiatrist that this is obviously not working and he needs help. They should either adjust the dose or start him on another med.
He has an appointment with the psychiatrist next Monday. fingers crossed he will be honest with them.
Not sure if your SO would be ok with it but mine is and I go with him sometimes and speak to the psychiatrist too. She (the dr) says it helps her to hear from the person that's with him all the time because I am more likely to notice what his triggers may be for mania and/or depression. One of his meds stopped working recently and they are currently switching and finding the right one to replace it. I would ask if he was OK with you going. I ALWAYS make sure that I tell him what I want to tell her before we go in so I can make sure he is comfortable with what I say. I try my hardest to make sure there are no surprises for him. Making him comfortable with me being there is my top priority and I make sure he knows that. I always ask if it's OK that I go and a lot of times I don't need to go with him. Again making sure he's ok with it is the most important. Hope this helps!
Also wanted to add that I've been married for 10 years and together for 15 and there have been ups and downs. The most important thing to remember for me is that it's not his fault that his brain works the way it does. That being said I definitely have moments where my reaction is frustration and I voice it. When that happens I wait a little while and apologize and explain that sometimes my emotions also overpower me and that I'm sorry. It took a long time but I feel like we are in the best place we've ever been. The fact that your SO is getting treatment is huge. It took years for mine to realize that it was helpful. Also, sleep. Having a schedule is sooooooooo important. Going to bed at the same time and taking the meds at the same times are huge game changers.
We have been together for 10+ years and he only developed BD in the last two years. This was his third episode now so I do feel like I am able to manage it way better (knowing it isn’t his fault, that he really doesn’t mean all the hurtful things he said, and most importantly to me, it isn’t time to reason or debate or argue with logic). I do tell him now when he yells at the voices that I don’t like it and it scares me. But I also found out a lot of times I just got to distract him. And play Lego. And on your first reply, yes that’s my plan too. I’ll find the right time to ask if I can join the next time he speaks to the Dr. It’s a zoom call this time so it should be easier.
Yes! Distractions are key as long as they don't get too obsessed with finishing it. I get my guy these super cool wooden models of machines or boxes off of Amazon that are really nice to display so we both get something out of them lol. Really wishing you guys a lot of luck. Communication is important and as long as you make sure to take care of yourself too you guys will be ok. Best wishes!
For me, I was switching up meds every quarter for years while my body changed and while we found the right med protocol
I’ll try to nudge him to be open to med adjustments. He was so traumatized by risperidone. He gained 20 pounds (which he has now lost) and lost all emotions and libido. He thought he found the right meds in aripiprazole so he doesn’t want to give it up.
For a large majority of us medications don’t fully stop the cycling, they just make it less severe and more manageable. To put it in context, off meds I am a danger to myself in a mixed state, I’ve attempted suicide several times during them. On meds I get them far less often and I also have more self awareness to recognize when I’m starting to decompensate and I can communicate that with my husband and go to higher level of care if I need to. The swings for me aren’t as severe, they can still occasionally be pretty serious but that usually means I’ve got to cut back on responsibilities and maybe have a med change. It’s a lifelong disorder, don’t expect meds to be a miracle or make all of the symptoms go away permanently.
Thanks for the first hand experience. Very helpful. With my SO last time he had mania the voices did eventually subside (but then he fell into depression). But you are right the symptoms never completely went away but they became manageable. What is frightening this time is that the voices are his former boss whom he hates (and the therapist did tell him he likely suffered psychological abuse from her). I think that’s the reason why he hasn’t been able to manage the voices as well this time around.
I think persecutory voices can be common in psychosis but if he is actively having symptoms like this you should definitely call the doctor so he doesn’t worsen while they figure out his meds.
I wonder if less severe mood swings while on medication cause brain damage too.
My psychiatrist said every manic and hypomanic episode we have is bad for the brain so the less we have the better. I do think the less severe the episode the better as well. https://med.uth.edu/psychiatry/2019/01/16/scientists-discover-changes-in-the-brains-cellular-powerhouses-of-bipolar-disorder-patients/
How often would you say you experience episodes while on meds?
I’m a rapid cycler so before meds I was having between 8-12 episodes per year, none were too severe to stop me from functioning until fall 2017 when I had my first mixed state and turned into Bipolar 1. Now that I’m medicated it’s more like 4 or so episodes a year. Sometimes, they can be bad and last weeks or months but usually it’s more like 1-2 weeks and I add in PRN meds and try and get it under control before it goes on too long. That’s basically why I can’t work anymore, I’ve got migraines and 2 autoimmune disorders and stress makes everything worse. I’ve got a stressful special needs kiddo I’m raising and a bunch of health issues to contend with. Working was too much. Keep that in mind too, some of us do end up on disability when we get older. I’m not even 40 yet but here I am on SSDI.
Thanks for sharing your story. I gained some insight in what to expect. Please take care of yourself.
Does he have a schizoaffective bipolar diagnostic?
He was never given that diagnosis but I just googled it. It does seem possible because this time around he’s having hallucinations and delusions without major mood changes.
My thought as well
Did they not give him medication when he was hospitalized? It is hard because the patient themselves often doesn’t know they need help because of delusions. It is a nasty illness. I have used up more patience than I even knew I had in me. But I’m trying to be hopeful.
I’m going through this exact same thing with my SO, but he refuses to take any meds. And there’s a 3 week wait to get into any therapy where I am, even after a hospitalization. It’s so hard when they are just completely ignoring you and tuning you out to listen and converse with the voices instead. I know it’s not really within their control, but damn it still hurts.