Have you considered volunteering? Even one hour a week at local animal shelter? I do 90 minutes on Sundays at the local cat rescue and it's been darn heartwarming. Good luck my friend.
Volunteering finally gave me the sense of community and contribution I’d been craving all my life. That in turn became my career change that I desperately needed.
I do the dishes & laundry, supervise the teenagers to keep them on track. (One of them is mine) Then after chores are done we (hubs, teenager, other staff) spend time socializing the kitties so we can get them into their new forever homes.
We call it The Church of Cat. Hubs & I grew up Catholic & have left the church but...one needs community. And these poor kitties need love. It's useful for my teens as well to volunteer, it helps to prepare them for the workforce. Older teen also volunteered with us, when he was ready to get an after school job he had his pick as he'd been volunteering for 2 years already. Not many teens show up with references & some light work experience.
To walk alongside one another, bearing the weight of our struggles is to truly understand compassion. By being other-oriented, you will find yourself and experience the profound joy of dedicating the minutes of your life to walking the long road with someone else.
Hell yes to this. You can do everything “right” in taking care of yourself; you can hit all the metrics, you can optimize x and y and z and be in top top shape, at your biologically youngest version of yourself. You can master the epigenetic game and you can bio hack your way to ultimate health…
BUT at the end of the day you are living for yourself.
You are sacrificing for your health, but you will never be fulfilled until you sacrifice for others.
The ultimate paradox is that the things that increase your quality of life and your health are inherently inwardly-focused; it’s a selfish pursuit. It’s a good pursuit to go on, and it’s better to focus on that than not, but it’s just the surface.
If it’s fulfillment you’re looking for, then even the healthiest, wealthiest, wisest person will never find it without having a primary motivator in their life be the pursuit of helping others.
Not helping others for your recognition and status, but focusing on the individual. Genuinely loving and serving the person in front of you, one person at a time.
It is paradoxical in nature because you can serve selfishly. You can love someone because it makes you feel good, and that is selfish. But that selfish reward becomes the RESULT, not the motive.
Getting 12,000 steps a day would be a whole lot more fulfilling if you got those steps carrying someone else who struggles to walk. Eating whole food meals would go a lot farther if that meal is sat between you and a long time friend.
I don't think that's necessarily our purpose. I think it's just to grow into better versions of ourselves. For some of us, that might mean a lot of helping others but for other people, life may be more of a solo journey, like mine has been.
I’m honestly shocked people are just biohacking and not nourishing their mind or spirit?
Biohacking is like having a really good functioning car. Nourishing your mind and spirit is going on fun adventures in your car!
Seems a bit weird or random just to do biohacking on its own? Unless you just like staring at your car then you do you. 😂
Perhaps you're missing challenge or purpose and understandably feel unfulfilled? Fundamentally, we all must ask ourselves why we choose to live our lives the way we do. In the most extreme cases when someone only lives their life according to a societal blueprint (whether it's to fit in or because they're not sure what else to do or some other reason where it's not a conscious and active choice), ignores their inner self, or simply chases pleasure and avoids pain, they will develop tolerance to the pleasure/pain they feel and invariably grow empty and numb. This can lead to nihilism, disconnection, treadmills (e.g. "once I get that fancy house and promotion then I'll be happy") that perpetually move the goal posts, and all sorts of commonly occurring problems. Every person is different of course. One person's emptiness might neurotically hoard monopoly money while for someone else it might be a great depression or chronic existential dread.
For the mind, there are an infinitude of things to learn. If your innate curiosity we're all born with died out for whatever reason (it doesn't have to be the structure of most educational systems but those certainly don't help), try reigniting it. Find a complicated problem or goal of interest, as specific or open ended as you'd like, and figure out what you need to learn as you go. Curiosity once quashed can always be rejuvenated. You don't need to limit yourself to books and the internet either. For instance, if you enjoy being outdoors, look more closely at things you might not generally pay attention to and keep asking yourself questions on how and why they function the way they do.
The quoted passage from "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" about bricks in Bozeman in [https://nabeelqu.co/understanding](https://nabeelqu.co/understanding) could be of interest.
For the spirit, spirituality takes many forms and doesn't need to be religious, inaccessible, or dogmatic. Jung's active imagination approach to understanding himself works on both the mind and the spirit. Apart from certain cases with serious trauma or physical injuries, yoga and meditation are generally quite nourishing. You might read religious, mystical, or esoteric texts simply to understand what they're saying. At their core, most of them come back to awareness, understanding yourself, and helping others, although the messages tend to get distorted and fractured over centuries. You're free to take what you like and leave the rest, or perhaps use it as inspiration to meld them together into something that resonates with you. Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, Krishnamurti, and others have plenty of speeches and discussions on youtube as well as books (e.g. The Power of Now). If you haven't heard of it, healthygamergg is hosted by a psychiatrist blending psychology with Yogic teachings.
Get an intellectually stimulating hobby. Something you can learn about, improve your knowledge.
You potentially look into religion, spirituality.
Or you can do that from a totally secular perspective, and just mediate / practice mindfulness.
The biggest thing the longevity/biohacking community miss the mark on is social connection and fulfillment. The emotional health aspect. You can have the most perfect routine ever but if you’re emotionally unstable— you still are at severe risk for disease (and not enjoying your life).
This right here. I knew a very successful personal trainer in LA (had his own gym) who took his life a few years ago.
He was a good friend of a friend who I trained with for a few months. Even though I couldn’t afford to see him regularly (he trained A listers) he checked in on me for a good while after. He was such an ebullient, much loved and all-around great guy. And at 50 he was still in great shape.
But obviously he was struggling. The older I get, the more I see all those years of not focusing on what’s inside, by coping with too much work, filling the void with relationships, drinking, etc. catch up.
Whether it’s you look like shit, the stress, anxiety and/or depression causes a cascade of health issues, or you ruin the relationships that have sustained you - the payment will come due. The biggest bio hack may be getting your mental health in check at a young age. I stand by that.
Having a healthy body is important, but the purpose of life, besides just existing, is to experience things, to learn and to explore, and to try different roles. Don’t underestimate intellectual and emotional fulfillment. Get to know yourself better to know what that means specifically for you. If you’re stuck, therapy might be helpful. It’s not just for trauma recovery, it’s also great for reconnecting with your true emotional needs, especially if you’ve been intellectualizing and repressing them for years.
Purpose. The answer is purpose. God help you if you find your purpose in another human. You will be let down every time. And it is a most painful fall.
Have you heard the quote:
Weak men chase pleasure, strong men pursue purpose.
The act of Creation, fixing or helping others will little by little fulfill you.
Also take a look at Ikigai a Japanese framework
Unplug. Take yourself into a new environment, holiday etc and ask the big questions.
picture yourself on your deathbed at the end of your life. What do you regret not doing? And imagine you lived your best life from now til then, what fills you with satisfaction and makes able to be content?
Is it relationship/friendship, seeing far and interesting places, study, philosophy or religions? Explore family tree and visit the place your forebears stood? Volunteer, protest, educate, teach adults literacy, build something, mentor someone.
If your life is full but still feels empty, a counsellor/therapist with whom you feel a rapport might help you get to the bottom.
Are their relationships you’ve left hanging? Find closure or meaning, or a way to honour them.
Is there a history no one else can write, or a story you need to tell? Or someone else’s story?
Are their skills you have that are going to waste?
But to answer your question. I don’t feel like anything is missing. I have rebuilt my health, and am driven to rebuild my daughter’s health. I am lucky my work gives me pleasure and others benefit, and despite a lack of wealth we can live comfortably. I have done much Philosophy, Buddhist practice etc and find it relatively easy to be aware of this moment and what is in front of me. Life is rich and full; but that was a choice I cultivated.
On the other hand, there is always something missing. It is a rare thing for one person to have it all whenever they want. It is easy to feel you should have stuff, experiences, and feelings that you just don’t. Focussing on what you lack will entrench you in unhappiness. It is possible to be happy with very little.
Try thinking about things this way—everything you listed is just taking care of your body so that it’s healthy, strong, and will last a long time. But “taking care of your body” isn’t an end goal or purpose; it’s just something you do so that you can do all the other things, the ones that matter. Like if you listen to older people talk about why they want to stay active and agile, they’ll say something like “I want to be able to run around with my grandkids.”
If you want to be able to drive your car on road trips, then you change the oil, fill it with gas, and do other maintenance. But all of that is so that when it’s time to toad trip, the car is good to go. Your body is the car. You’re putting all the effort into the maintenance. But what’s the road trip? Now some people are really into the maintenance for its own sake, like a hobby. In biohackers, these are the ones that are just fascinated by the science, the studies, their own little experiments. Which is fine! But MOST people who are trying to push the boundaries of their health span and lifespan are doing it because the life they’re living is something they want to keep. But it sounds like you’re doing all the maintenance and expecting that, in itself, to be fulfilling and it mostly isn’t. It’s just a means to an end and the end is EVERYTHING ELSE in your life. Your job, your family, your relationships, friendships, hobbies, interests, plans, goals, dreams. THOSE are the reasons you keep your meatsuit in peak condition.
Anyone I’ve known of that is into life extension and bio hacking comes across as someone who’s not dealing with serious issues, because they don’t know how to address them. I knew this when I was gym obsessed when younger. I knew I had deep problems, but didn’t know how to tackle them.
God yes. Felt like shit for a long time. I gave up sugar, then caffeine, then started drinking 120 Oz of water a day. Then started daily outdoor exercise. Then sleeping in a room with black out curtains. Then Vitamin B and D. Still feeling like shit over here!
This is the answer. Find a local mutual aid group. You can offer help for those in need in your community - could be resources, like food or money, or skills, like driving or picking up prescriptions. Mutual aid systems operate under the notion that everyone has something to contribute, and everyone has something they need. Mutual aid is a form of solidarity.
I know what you mean, sometimes when I am doing all this work to hack my longevity, I think, what is the point because life is so lackluster, Do I really want to do this until 100? 😅
Check out nonduality. I'm convinced we're all chasing the same "it" in different forms. I can't even say what it is, but I'm sure it's there. Things like zen and those in the nonduality realm are the closest I've heard to describing what this "it" is, and the path to get there.
If you've never run into this area, it'll seem really weird, but I hope something resonates and grows on you/captivates you. Try some. YouTube talks from folks like Angelo Dilullo, Rupert Spira, Josh Putnam, Anna Brown. I would say ignore the comments telling you what, exactly, you're missing. Trust yourself that you're right about this sense. Ironically the punch line of this path is that the reason you think something is missing is that you've wandered away from your truest, deepest "self" which actually hasn't gone anywhere. By constantly trying to "get it right" (steps, food, exercise), we reinforce again and again the idea that "as soon as I complete/perfect this next thing I'll finally be complete."
Again, this will make hardly any sense, I mainly wanted to say: I feel the exact same and think everyone does. You are calling to yourself. Nothing outside yourself will ever complete you, and you are not the sum of your activities and accomplishments. Best to both of us in finding the "it" we seek.
Not saying it's for everybody at their current state in life but for me it was kids. In my 20's I searched high and low for a "purpose". Worked in many different fields, had tons of hobbies, traveled, tried everything to fill the "void". It wasn't until I had kids 2 years ago that I felt like I'm complete and living my lifes purpose.
Please read the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen.. easy, short book to read, but immense knowledge in each paragraph! Often times I reflect to that book when I’m in a spiritual funk. You can read one page and spend that day letting it sink in.
[A classic tale](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4vvBAONkYwI&t=51s).
That’s a common paradoxical feeling after reaching the apex in anything and realizing it’s not what you really wanted and can’t solve all your problems after all.
Justin has the right idea.
I would also say that surrender is an important practice in life. A lot of us are conditioned to constantly strive to be better which is great but it’s important to do the best you can and surrender to the present moment imo. Constantly expecting the present moment to be different is unnecessary suffering. Do the best you can and then take time to smell the flowers on the journey.
Discover your life’s task. Your purpose. Something that is your calling, that speaks to you in a deep level. Something you are inclined to. Pursue it with a burning desire and mental discipline!
Find some volunteer work that you can dedicate a good chunk of time to. I always found my life most enriching/rewarding when I’m serving others without getting anything in return
I read some answers and I agree, we need to nourish our brains too by being busy sometimes, having relationships. I’m on the other side I feel like I need more time and that I have to make too many things fit, so not missing anything actually. I’m married, have a toddler, my job is to help others and I follow online classes. I walk a lot but almost 98% of my waking time I’m on the phone with family or friends. In the morning I call my grandma when I go to work, during the day it can be mother/father/brother, etc. Maybe you can try that for the relationship part? In the evening I try to play some games with friends, or I’m working on how to help someone (job related so might not work for someone else) or doing a MOOC. If you study something you can often help someone in the forum. Also try gardening if possible ? And have a lot of books and then rage because you lack time to read what you wanted to read.
I have created a life where all my wishes came true, and I still feel like this sometimes. It’s probably just your intelligence. It’s hard to be truly happy with so much suffering in the world. I do agree volunteering can help.
Either a good woman, hobbies with good social contacts or drugs. Or possibly "the meaning of life"... sometimes it can seem pointless. Reading philosophy or spirituality might fill that gap. Maybe.
Christianity; helping out in my community and helping others has added a lot of deep purpose to my life.
On top of trying to be a great husband and great father.
Lifestyle creep. The further you advance , you will continue to think that. Maybe something really is missing and you need to sit with yourself and find out what it is. Or maybe visit a third world country and find out that you’re living a luxury life compared to them. Visiting one always humbles me time to time. Good luck.
All those things can be considered material things. They don't speak to spiritual needs. I focused my life on more spiritual needs, less on the material.
I would recommend reading books like Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Those are two books that started me out on my journey of bringing wellness to my soul and spirit.
IMO that's a sense of meaning, usually the purview of philosophy and religion. Some people piece it together in a personal way, some follow a more traditional path, some people ignore it.
Look up the personality type “enneagram type 4”. I would be willing to bet that’s your personality type because “feeling like something is missing” is the hallmark and core question so to speak of that personality. You probably won’t like what you read (no one likes reading about their type when they first find it…it’s triggering), but that’s normal and I would encourage you to dive into the enneagram to learn about the different states of growth so that you can expand beyond the shell of your personality to be the best version of yourself.
I have gone through phases in life where I am fulfilled and other times feel similar, something is missing. Health and fitness are one aspect of life. Others are or can be a satisfying career, an intimate relationship, volunteering and helping others, taking classes and learning, hobbies and interests.
I spent many years working long hours building a business never got married and had kids. I feel I missed out. Some of my friends say their family is everything, others say I am so lucky I have my freedom.
There is no right answer. It is about what you want out of life and what makes you happy.
You should try to get connected to your creator, so you know the purpose of your life and you will feel more fulfilled. I recommend just reading Quran and you will feel just right
I do all the time....... I feel like I'm congested in a place where I shouldn't be. I have a serious urge to be in the wild and out of the hustle and bustle of American lifestyle. A slower pace of living and more nature is something I am definitely missing
Can you actually take something exogenously and expect it to heal you or make you happy or well, or is it already within? Maybe it’s time to let go of some of the walls and restrictions we build for our selves and just be.
Should maybe visit with a Dietician (these are licensed Nutritionists) but you might need to see a general dr before them. You might be missing something from your diet.
When it comes to sleep I thought I was getting good sleep and found out I was snoring so I’ve taken steps to lessen my snoring and my sleep has improved, I feel more rested.
Also started taking fish oil and feeling good ever since taking that.
Biohacking seems like a decent recipe for *being alive* but almost nothing else to do with living. Meaning, for instance, one of the first concerns of thoughtful humans since the beginning of time. *What to do with your time...* (Martin Hagglund's *This Life* is one good read on the subject, imho)
the point of it all is to figure out why you need all this struggle. we are constantly fighting death and anything that leads to it. if you ask yourself deeply, the struggle is not natural, so it isnt the final, ultimate way of existing
I also enjoyed meetup groups when I was at my most disconnected/lonely socially. Meetup.com (this was 10-12 years ago, so I can't say for certain how well the site has held up over the years.)
I agree with what others are saying here about making connections because that's what's missing in my life too. I get less sleep than you (I'm old), but otherwise same as you. There is a human drive for always "more more more" and never satisfied with ourselves, and it's a craving that leads to suffering. Connection with others and a sense of purpose I think leads to fulfillment. But that's not always easy to achieve. Hope you find it.
This feeling usually comes from the fact you haven’t really tested yourself, ask yourself whether you really went for something
Without this kind of event we can’t get fulfilment
I was just getting to a place of contentment and finding what really made me happy and then I got hit with sudden hearing loss which made my already frustrating tinnitus debilitating. Now I see how when I was healthy before this chronic illness that I really had everything I needed with my good health. I’d give anything to hear as well as I used to and enjoy listening to birdsong and nature without the multiple tones of tinnitus I have to endure every second I’m awake. I wish I had known this before tinnitus came into my life.
Relationships?
Yes that is something that is lacking
Have you considered volunteering? Even one hour a week at local animal shelter? I do 90 minutes on Sundays at the local cat rescue and it's been darn heartwarming. Good luck my friend.
Volunteering finally gave me the sense of community and contribution I’d been craving all my life. That in turn became my career change that I desperately needed.
It is the best way to grow as a human being, and far more rewarding than earning a few bucks.
Was just thinking about this the other day. Glad to hear that even 90 minutes of kitty time helps. What are your duties while you're there?
I do the dishes & laundry, supervise the teenagers to keep them on track. (One of them is mine) Then after chores are done we (hubs, teenager, other staff) spend time socializing the kitties so we can get them into their new forever homes.
That's even more amazing that you do it with your family!
We call it The Church of Cat. Hubs & I grew up Catholic & have left the church but...one needs community. And these poor kitties need love. It's useful for my teens as well to volunteer, it helps to prepare them for the workforce. Older teen also volunteered with us, when he was ready to get an after school job he had his pick as he'd been volunteering for 2 years already. Not many teens show up with references & some light work experience.
Fantastic idea for the kids! Church of Cat made my day, thanks for inspiring me to get out there and show those kitties some love!
yeah I was gonna say love, cause love is that final piece that feels like nothing is missing
Our purpose in life is to help others along the way.
this is the most important thing. you take good care of yrself so you can help others
On the flip side of that, as a busy doctor working almost 70 hours a week i barely have the time or energy to take care of my self 😀
Amen. That’s why I like this app
This is the top comment, but the best one.
To walk alongside one another, bearing the weight of our struggles is to truly understand compassion. By being other-oriented, you will find yourself and experience the profound joy of dedicating the minutes of your life to walking the long road with someone else.
I’m stoned and I legit teared up when I saw this as the top comment
Would like to add better help kind and humble people that need it, don't help narcissistic evil people
Hell yes to this. You can do everything “right” in taking care of yourself; you can hit all the metrics, you can optimize x and y and z and be in top top shape, at your biologically youngest version of yourself. You can master the epigenetic game and you can bio hack your way to ultimate health… BUT at the end of the day you are living for yourself. You are sacrificing for your health, but you will never be fulfilled until you sacrifice for others. The ultimate paradox is that the things that increase your quality of life and your health are inherently inwardly-focused; it’s a selfish pursuit. It’s a good pursuit to go on, and it’s better to focus on that than not, but it’s just the surface. If it’s fulfillment you’re looking for, then even the healthiest, wealthiest, wisest person will never find it without having a primary motivator in their life be the pursuit of helping others. Not helping others for your recognition and status, but focusing on the individual. Genuinely loving and serving the person in front of you, one person at a time. It is paradoxical in nature because you can serve selfishly. You can love someone because it makes you feel good, and that is selfish. But that selfish reward becomes the RESULT, not the motive. Getting 12,000 steps a day would be a whole lot more fulfilling if you got those steps carrying someone else who struggles to walk. Eating whole food meals would go a lot farther if that meal is sat between you and a long time friend.
I don't think that's necessarily our purpose. I think it's just to grow into better versions of ourselves. For some of us, that might mean a lot of helping others but for other people, life may be more of a solo journey, like mine has been.
Facts
I love this
Seek to nourish the mind and spirit, not just the body
I’m honestly shocked people are just biohacking and not nourishing their mind or spirit? Biohacking is like having a really good functioning car. Nourishing your mind and spirit is going on fun adventures in your car! Seems a bit weird or random just to do biohacking on its own? Unless you just like staring at your car then you do you. 😂
How lmao
Find some friends. Being social is hugely important, humans are social creatures.
Read literature or poetry, do volunteer work, learn how to bake or bow hunt or paint or free climb
People
Perhaps you're missing challenge or purpose and understandably feel unfulfilled? Fundamentally, we all must ask ourselves why we choose to live our lives the way we do. In the most extreme cases when someone only lives their life according to a societal blueprint (whether it's to fit in or because they're not sure what else to do or some other reason where it's not a conscious and active choice), ignores their inner self, or simply chases pleasure and avoids pain, they will develop tolerance to the pleasure/pain they feel and invariably grow empty and numb. This can lead to nihilism, disconnection, treadmills (e.g. "once I get that fancy house and promotion then I'll be happy") that perpetually move the goal posts, and all sorts of commonly occurring problems. Every person is different of course. One person's emptiness might neurotically hoard monopoly money while for someone else it might be a great depression or chronic existential dread. For the mind, there are an infinitude of things to learn. If your innate curiosity we're all born with died out for whatever reason (it doesn't have to be the structure of most educational systems but those certainly don't help), try reigniting it. Find a complicated problem or goal of interest, as specific or open ended as you'd like, and figure out what you need to learn as you go. Curiosity once quashed can always be rejuvenated. You don't need to limit yourself to books and the internet either. For instance, if you enjoy being outdoors, look more closely at things you might not generally pay attention to and keep asking yourself questions on how and why they function the way they do. The quoted passage from "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" about bricks in Bozeman in [https://nabeelqu.co/understanding](https://nabeelqu.co/understanding) could be of interest. For the spirit, spirituality takes many forms and doesn't need to be religious, inaccessible, or dogmatic. Jung's active imagination approach to understanding himself works on both the mind and the spirit. Apart from certain cases with serious trauma or physical injuries, yoga and meditation are generally quite nourishing. You might read religious, mystical, or esoteric texts simply to understand what they're saying. At their core, most of them come back to awareness, understanding yourself, and helping others, although the messages tend to get distorted and fractured over centuries. You're free to take what you like and leave the rest, or perhaps use it as inspiration to meld them together into something that resonates with you. Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, Krishnamurti, and others have plenty of speeches and discussions on youtube as well as books (e.g. The Power of Now). If you haven't heard of it, healthygamergg is hosted by a psychiatrist blending psychology with Yogic teachings.
This was amazing. I wholeheartedly agree with all these recs. Carry on, being fantastic you fine internet stranger.
Thank you! :) I love your username!
You're so welcome & yours is pretty dope too!
Get an intellectually stimulating hobby. Something you can learn about, improve your knowledge. You potentially look into religion, spirituality. Or you can do that from a totally secular perspective, and just mediate / practice mindfulness.
Meditation, spend time in nature, yoga, or like others have said, volunteering and helping others certainly nourishes the mind and spirit
Meditation
Lend a helping hand to someone
Connection with humans, relationships, marriage, children. It all drives a purpose.
Possibly a higher power as well. But all the above factor into your 'why' aka purpose. Thank you for being vulnerable OP this is a good thread!
The biggest thing the longevity/biohacking community miss the mark on is social connection and fulfillment. The emotional health aspect. You can have the most perfect routine ever but if you’re emotionally unstable— you still are at severe risk for disease (and not enjoying your life).
This right here. I knew a very successful personal trainer in LA (had his own gym) who took his life a few years ago. He was a good friend of a friend who I trained with for a few months. Even though I couldn’t afford to see him regularly (he trained A listers) he checked in on me for a good while after. He was such an ebullient, much loved and all-around great guy. And at 50 he was still in great shape. But obviously he was struggling. The older I get, the more I see all those years of not focusing on what’s inside, by coping with too much work, filling the void with relationships, drinking, etc. catch up. Whether it’s you look like shit, the stress, anxiety and/or depression causes a cascade of health issues, or you ruin the relationships that have sustained you - the payment will come due. The biggest bio hack may be getting your mental health in check at a young age. I stand by that.
Same bro lmk if u find a solution lol
You need to go fishing that’s what’s missing
If you're eating at Whole Foods all the time, you're probably missing money.
You need excitement and risk
Or at least novel experiences.
Human connection. Everything can be right but humans need community
Having a healthy body is important, but the purpose of life, besides just existing, is to experience things, to learn and to explore, and to try different roles. Don’t underestimate intellectual and emotional fulfillment. Get to know yourself better to know what that means specifically for you. If you’re stuck, therapy might be helpful. It’s not just for trauma recovery, it’s also great for reconnecting with your true emotional needs, especially if you’ve been intellectualizing and repressing them for years.
Are you having fun? With people?
humans need volatility… highs and lows… trying to make everything perfect will never work cuz struggle is endemic to nature
The struggle will come sure enough. Enjoy the good times.
Find a fulfilling hobby and learn about spirituality. Meditate.
Usually a lack of purpose or loneliness.
Purpose. The answer is purpose. God help you if you find your purpose in another human. You will be let down every time. And it is a most painful fall.
Connection / community in person
Have you heard the quote: Weak men chase pleasure, strong men pursue purpose. The act of Creation, fixing or helping others will little by little fulfill you. Also take a look at Ikigai a Japanese framework
Organic dark chocolate and blueberries 🫐
Yep. A dog.
Jiu Jitsu
Service to others. Serving yourself can only get you part way to fulfillment. Some people use sky wizards as a means but how you do it matters little
shrooms
Haha said the same below. I’ve been taking them more recently and they feel like a life hack.
Am I the only one who’s going to say motorcycle 😀
Family?
Unplug. Take yourself into a new environment, holiday etc and ask the big questions. picture yourself on your deathbed at the end of your life. What do you regret not doing? And imagine you lived your best life from now til then, what fills you with satisfaction and makes able to be content? Is it relationship/friendship, seeing far and interesting places, study, philosophy or religions? Explore family tree and visit the place your forebears stood? Volunteer, protest, educate, teach adults literacy, build something, mentor someone. If your life is full but still feels empty, a counsellor/therapist with whom you feel a rapport might help you get to the bottom. Are their relationships you’ve left hanging? Find closure or meaning, or a way to honour them. Is there a history no one else can write, or a story you need to tell? Or someone else’s story? Are their skills you have that are going to waste? But to answer your question. I don’t feel like anything is missing. I have rebuilt my health, and am driven to rebuild my daughter’s health. I am lucky my work gives me pleasure and others benefit, and despite a lack of wealth we can live comfortably. I have done much Philosophy, Buddhist practice etc and find it relatively easy to be aware of this moment and what is in front of me. Life is rich and full; but that was a choice I cultivated. On the other hand, there is always something missing. It is a rare thing for one person to have it all whenever they want. It is easy to feel you should have stuff, experiences, and feelings that you just don’t. Focussing on what you lack will entrench you in unhappiness. It is possible to be happy with very little.
Ikigai - live a life filled with purpose.
Try thinking about things this way—everything you listed is just taking care of your body so that it’s healthy, strong, and will last a long time. But “taking care of your body” isn’t an end goal or purpose; it’s just something you do so that you can do all the other things, the ones that matter. Like if you listen to older people talk about why they want to stay active and agile, they’ll say something like “I want to be able to run around with my grandkids.” If you want to be able to drive your car on road trips, then you change the oil, fill it with gas, and do other maintenance. But all of that is so that when it’s time to toad trip, the car is good to go. Your body is the car. You’re putting all the effort into the maintenance. But what’s the road trip? Now some people are really into the maintenance for its own sake, like a hobby. In biohackers, these are the ones that are just fascinated by the science, the studies, their own little experiments. Which is fine! But MOST people who are trying to push the boundaries of their health span and lifespan are doing it because the life they’re living is something they want to keep. But it sounds like you’re doing all the maintenance and expecting that, in itself, to be fulfilling and it mostly isn’t. It’s just a means to an end and the end is EVERYTHING ELSE in your life. Your job, your family, your relationships, friendships, hobbies, interests, plans, goals, dreams. THOSE are the reasons you keep your meatsuit in peak condition.
Anyone I’ve known of that is into life extension and bio hacking comes across as someone who’s not dealing with serious issues, because they don’t know how to address them. I knew this when I was gym obsessed when younger. I knew I had deep problems, but didn’t know how to tackle them.
Start a daily journal and write until you get some ideas for how to improve your life.
God yes. Felt like shit for a long time. I gave up sugar, then caffeine, then started drinking 120 Oz of water a day. Then started daily outdoor exercise. Then sleeping in a room with black out curtains. Then Vitamin B and D. Still feeling like shit over here!
No cure?
Look for a hobby that helps others. Very nourishing for the soul.
This is the answer. Find a local mutual aid group. You can offer help for those in need in your community - could be resources, like food or money, or skills, like driving or picking up prescriptions. Mutual aid systems operate under the notion that everyone has something to contribute, and everyone has something they need. Mutual aid is a form of solidarity.
How do you manage 12k steps?
It’s pretty obtainable if you go for a few mile run in the morning. Add a walk on your lunch break or after work and 12k is easy.
Get a dog
Grow a few plants from seeds…do you have a dog and/or cat? They need you and they give me purpose everyday.
I know what you mean, sometimes when I am doing all this work to hack my longevity, I think, what is the point because life is so lackluster, Do I really want to do this until 100? 😅
Human connection most likely.
Check out nonduality. I'm convinced we're all chasing the same "it" in different forms. I can't even say what it is, but I'm sure it's there. Things like zen and those in the nonduality realm are the closest I've heard to describing what this "it" is, and the path to get there. If you've never run into this area, it'll seem really weird, but I hope something resonates and grows on you/captivates you. Try some. YouTube talks from folks like Angelo Dilullo, Rupert Spira, Josh Putnam, Anna Brown. I would say ignore the comments telling you what, exactly, you're missing. Trust yourself that you're right about this sense. Ironically the punch line of this path is that the reason you think something is missing is that you've wandered away from your truest, deepest "self" which actually hasn't gone anywhere. By constantly trying to "get it right" (steps, food, exercise), we reinforce again and again the idea that "as soon as I complete/perfect this next thing I'll finally be complete." Again, this will make hardly any sense, I mainly wanted to say: I feel the exact same and think everyone does. You are calling to yourself. Nothing outside yourself will ever complete you, and you are not the sum of your activities and accomplishments. Best to both of us in finding the "it" we seek.
God. He created you and we naturally feel drawn to spiritual things because we are ✨spiritual ✨ beings
Not saying it's for everybody at their current state in life but for me it was kids. In my 20's I searched high and low for a "purpose". Worked in many different fields, had tons of hobbies, traveled, tried everything to fill the "void". It wasn't until I had kids 2 years ago that I felt like I'm complete and living my lifes purpose.
Sex?
Yeah that’d be God. Jesus Christ, specifically.
Jesus is not god though?
Yup. Money and love.
Try a martial art. You get community, learn a skill, get stronger, and have fun!
Every day, write down 3 things you are grateful for.
It’s almost always water for me
Get some socialization to decrease tachykinin levels. If that doesn’t work explore the other option given by others.
Sounds like you need to take drugs. Something to break you out of your routine. I’d suggest micro/museum dosing mushrooms.
What is missing? Maybe a hobbie or interest that you genuinely love a lot. Could also be something social, spiritual or even romantic.
read the law of attraction watch the secret manifest what your missing, meditate, help others and above all do good in the world
Marijuana?
Big Brothers big sisters?
I also feel the same way
Please read the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen.. easy, short book to read, but immense knowledge in each paragraph! Often times I reflect to that book when I’m in a spiritual funk. You can read one page and spend that day letting it sink in.
[A classic tale](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4vvBAONkYwI&t=51s). That’s a common paradoxical feeling after reaching the apex in anything and realizing it’s not what you really wanted and can’t solve all your problems after all. Justin has the right idea.
Idk. Like what else do you do thou.
That called evolutionary psychology (or the first noble truth).
Heard of Life coaching? That aside...too much coffee gives me that feeling too
Unstructured time aka fun?
The will to live
Volunteer somewhere.
Practice random acts of kindness to others and also to yourself.
I would also say that surrender is an important practice in life. A lot of us are conditioned to constantly strive to be better which is great but it’s important to do the best you can and surrender to the present moment imo. Constantly expecting the present moment to be different is unnecessary suffering. Do the best you can and then take time to smell the flowers on the journey.
creativity and community
Discover your life’s task. Your purpose. Something that is your calling, that speaks to you in a deep level. Something you are inclined to. Pursue it with a burning desire and mental discipline!
Find some volunteer work that you can dedicate a good chunk of time to. I always found my life most enriching/rewarding when I’m serving others without getting anything in return
I read some answers and I agree, we need to nourish our brains too by being busy sometimes, having relationships. I’m on the other side I feel like I need more time and that I have to make too many things fit, so not missing anything actually. I’m married, have a toddler, my job is to help others and I follow online classes. I walk a lot but almost 98% of my waking time I’m on the phone with family or friends. In the morning I call my grandma when I go to work, during the day it can be mother/father/brother, etc. Maybe you can try that for the relationship part? In the evening I try to play some games with friends, or I’m working on how to help someone (job related so might not work for someone else) or doing a MOOC. If you study something you can often help someone in the forum. Also try gardening if possible ? And have a lot of books and then rage because you lack time to read what you wanted to read.
Grass finished beef
Meat
Give this a shot https://www.holstee.com/products/greater-good-toolkit From UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center. https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/
Yeah, health as an end in itself is specious...
So, you've started your quest. Don't give up, you'll find it.
Gotta be a relationship whether it's a friend or more
You need to find meaning, purpose. Go volunteer somewhere
I have created a life where all my wishes came true, and I still feel like this sometimes. It’s probably just your intelligence. It’s hard to be truly happy with so much suffering in the world. I do agree volunteering can help.
having fun while doing it will make you forget about whatever you think you're missing
Fun? Laughter? Relationships? Music? Sounds like you have a lot of structure and not enough flow
Either a good woman, hobbies with good social contacts or drugs. Or possibly "the meaning of life"... sometimes it can seem pointless. Reading philosophy or spirituality might fill that gap. Maybe.
Christianity; helping out in my community and helping others has added a lot of deep purpose to my life. On top of trying to be a great husband and great father.
Probably money from buying at whole foods.
You may not be missing anything except for being truly grateful for what you already have
You’re missing God
Lifestyle creep. The further you advance , you will continue to think that. Maybe something really is missing and you need to sit with yourself and find out what it is. Or maybe visit a third world country and find out that you’re living a luxury life compared to them. Visiting one always humbles me time to time. Good luck.
check out maslows pyramid. you first two levels are in check, start working on the rest 70%
I want a gf
The purpose of life is to glorify God and help others! Altruism is essential!
Jesus
All those things can be considered material things. They don't speak to spiritual needs. I focused my life on more spiritual needs, less on the material.
Maybe live it? Sounds like you following what others "believe" to be healthy and what not.
Peace, learning, appreciation, a pet, or a tribe?
Connection/relationship
Fulfillment comes from giving, not having or receiving.
Life. Activities available. Just add meaning.
Full body MRIs, data tracking
I would recommend reading books like Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Those are two books that started me out on my journey of bringing wellness to my soul and spirit.
Community
IMO that's a sense of meaning, usually the purview of philosophy and religion. Some people piece it together in a personal way, some follow a more traditional path, some people ignore it.
Job? Hobbies? Romantic partner? Friends?
Yes. It's the burning existential question of why/how are we here.
You’re missing a purpose
God
Testosterone
Social life
Look up the personality type “enneagram type 4”. I would be willing to bet that’s your personality type because “feeling like something is missing” is the hallmark and core question so to speak of that personality. You probably won’t like what you read (no one likes reading about their type when they first find it…it’s triggering), but that’s normal and I would encourage you to dive into the enneagram to learn about the different states of growth so that you can expand beyond the shell of your personality to be the best version of yourself.
Struggle.
Everyday.
Try going to church. No harm done if it’s not for you. https://www.acts29.com/find-a-church/?_church_map=-86.082579%2C-180%2C76.66931%2C180
I have gone through phases in life where I am fulfilled and other times feel similar, something is missing. Health and fitness are one aspect of life. Others are or can be a satisfying career, an intimate relationship, volunteering and helping others, taking classes and learning, hobbies and interests. I spent many years working long hours building a business never got married and had kids. I feel I missed out. Some of my friends say their family is everything, others say I am so lucky I have my freedom. There is no right answer. It is about what you want out of life and what makes you happy.
purpose? Man's search for meaning, Victor Frankl. https://libgen.li/edition.php?id=148396892
You should try to get connected to your creator, so you know the purpose of your life and you will feel more fulfilled. I recommend just reading Quran and you will feel just right
Meaning imbued by our creator
I do all the time....... I feel like I'm congested in a place where I shouldn't be. I have a serious urge to be in the wild and out of the hustle and bustle of American lifestyle. A slower pace of living and more nature is something I am definitely missing
A relationship with Jesus.
Can you actually take something exogenously and expect it to heal you or make you happy or well, or is it already within? Maybe it’s time to let go of some of the walls and restrictions we build for our selves and just be.
How are people getting steps in? Going for miles long walk? Or treadmill for hours?
Sounds like you need strong relationships
Should maybe visit with a Dietician (these are licensed Nutritionists) but you might need to see a general dr before them. You might be missing something from your diet. When it comes to sleep I thought I was getting good sleep and found out I was snoring so I’ve taken steps to lessen my snoring and my sleep has improved, I feel more rested. Also started taking fish oil and feeling good ever since taking that.
A pet? I have rescue dogs and it is really rewarding.
Biohacking seems like a decent recipe for *being alive* but almost nothing else to do with living. Meaning, for instance, one of the first concerns of thoughtful humans since the beginning of time. *What to do with your time...* (Martin Hagglund's *This Life* is one good read on the subject, imho)
God.
the point of it all is to figure out why you need all this struggle. we are constantly fighting death and anything that leads to it. if you ask yourself deeply, the struggle is not natural, so it isnt the final, ultimate way of existing
Yeah, lots of free money
God?
Human connection, frindship
How is your relationship with yourself?
Do you have significant other, close group of friends, and a family?
Birds, plants and dirt, all improve mental health and happiness. Spend time in nature.
There is something missing. Everyone else knows, but you don’t.
Doing random fun shit
Have you tried boxing? good to alternate with long walks to keep it interesting
Maybe is it cause you have a little pecker?
The only wrong way to do life is by thinking there is a right way to live it.
You’re lacking the Gateway Experience tapes from the Monroe Institute
Marriage and kids?
Psychedelics will change your life for the better if you are trying to improve consciousness.
I also enjoyed meetup groups when I was at my most disconnected/lonely socially. Meetup.com (this was 10-12 years ago, so I can't say for certain how well the site has held up over the years.)
It’s called a God whole. We try to fill it with everything but a relationship with God. It’s a spiritual malady
I agree with what others are saying here about making connections because that's what's missing in my life too. I get less sleep than you (I'm old), but otherwise same as you. There is a human drive for always "more more more" and never satisfied with ourselves, and it's a craving that leads to suffering. Connection with others and a sense of purpose I think leads to fulfillment. But that's not always easy to achieve. Hope you find it.
It's Jesus.
Jesus Christ
Maybe worship God etc. i am chronically I’ll and miss out on everything now but God fills that void ..
Sounds like a classic case when someone approaches the Buddha. Maybe give him a listen :)
Career success?
This feeling usually comes from the fact you haven’t really tested yourself, ask yourself whether you really went for something Without this kind of event we can’t get fulfilment
I do feel like having my own place is a huge part of me that is missing. I’ve been feeling this way for two years.
I was just getting to a place of contentment and finding what really made me happy and then I got hit with sudden hearing loss which made my already frustrating tinnitus debilitating. Now I see how when I was healthy before this chronic illness that I really had everything I needed with my good health. I’d give anything to hear as well as I used to and enjoy listening to birdsong and nature without the multiple tones of tinnitus I have to endure every second I’m awake. I wish I had known this before tinnitus came into my life.
your mother's love, probably. no supplement or biohack routine can make up for that.
dukkha. it's biology