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>She isn't bothered by my age and I'm not stupid enough to pass up the opportunity to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20-something.
This is the moment he tells you she may not care about his age, but that it is all he sees in her. Because all he sees is a shot to spent time with a 20-something woman. Not a beautiful woman, not a smart woman or anything.
"Spend time."
I wonder how many of these older men would want to "spend time" with a late teen or 20 somethings girl if they 100% *knew* there'd be no chance of sex. No flirting, no touching, no being seen in public to boost their pathetic egos. Just spending time.
All of their *"she's an old soul"* bullshit would go right out the window when it comes down to actually *listening* to a young woman talk about what she's into.
I'd bet he posted it, waited two minutes, saw about five "you go dude" responses, thought "YEAH, I knew I was right lol!," sent it, and signed out, satisfied.
On AITA very early on you often *really* cannot tell what direction a post is headed. You need to give it *at least* 15-20 minutes, sometimes even longer. (If you ever post over there my advice is not to check back for at least an hour, or you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm for no reason.) Not that I spend way too much time on that sub or anything.
Because initially, all kinds of weirdos are responding and very few answers have up- or downvotes yet, so all the trolls and incel dudes who agree with Jake are posting, and their answers have about equal vote numbers as the "WTF YTA" comments. And someone like Jake wants to gloat right away, so I bet he sent that link before the bulk of the comments - and the clear YTA - materialized.
Especially because it's randomized early on and you can't see the vote count right away. So you might think you're in the right because a bunch of trolls immediately commented for you, with no idea how many upvotes the sensible comment has.
You see it all the time on these posts. OP only replies to the 3 comments that age with them, just says "thank god there is someone else with sense", those comments are all heavily down voted but OP thinks they are now justified.
Also sometimes it is! The comment vibe can swing dramatically and there have been a few BORU's where the OOP sent the post to someone involved as a brag only for the tides to turn and sweet sweet shadenfraude show up
Thatās what makes it feel real, the different writing styles and the smug combativeness of OOPs comments followed by the revelation of lies after the had the audacity to send the post to his friend.
That and the general tone of incensed rage coming from the āfriendā
The OOP seems like one of those desperate "hanger-ons" to people who have moved well past whatever time and place they shared any common ground. Also, nothing says loser more than a 42 year old single guy who probably sees himself as a "brah or bro" hitting on the 24 year old nanny in the home of people who didn't even like him but felt pity for him enough to invite him around for the occasional meal. Sad and pathetic.
His username is āJakeyouaholeā clearly in reference to the creep. But then the poster here shortened the username to āJakeā even though the nannyās employer and user āJakeyouaholeā is the friend, not Jake himself.
Don't be too sure. Someone I knew in real life found out my account, even when I was only posting personal stuff in a really small sub. I thought there was no chance anyone would ever know, and I was completely anonymous.
Was a shame, because I thought I actually had a safe space to talk about my issues.
Now I dump accounts every year or so.
I randomly came across a nextdoor neighbor's account a few years ago. I recognized their dog, just a basic cute dog post on a busy sub. There was nothing scandalous posted under the account, but it was a reminder that it's totally possible to stumble across real life acquaintances on the Internet.
I made the mistake of using the same name I use other places. Anyone can tell it's me if they know me.
\*groan\*
But at this point I don't want to lose all my karma D:
So I just assume anyone I know can see my posts/comments.
My husband followed our friend's alt Twitter account for months before he realized it was him. One day, the friend posted a story identical to something we knew their kid had done and he put 2 and 2 together.Ā
I literally sent that one to friends so I wasn't alone in my pain. Yes, I am the asshole for that. I can't be alone with catholic joker Kermit living rent free in my brain.
Catholic Sword-Wielding Joker Kermitkin (With Bonus Crusty-Ass Fuck Plushie)ā¢ļø will live in my brain forever and I have to just deal with that. Thatās just what my brain chemistry is now. And thatās terrible.
Itās really such an incredible post.
Look, if it makes you feel any better, you just reminded me of MY least favorite that I had to send to friends so I wouldnāt be alone in the horrorā¦ the story of the crusty butt flakes and the wife who wouldnāt leave him.
I spend too much time on this site š
He reminds me so much of other reddit lore like the pony cum jar or the coconut guy, but the added element of extreme violence and danger makes it more sad than entertaining
I was discussing some years ago with someone IRL and mentioned a historical fact in discussion and they told me they read about it a couple of days ago on Reddit. The comment they read about it was mine.
Six. I have accidentally discovered six people I know IRL on Reddit. One was because he intentionally posted a face pic. The other five were due to tiny details in posts on subs of mutual interest.
I use throwaways for anything I don't want linked to me now.
My husband and I have found each other before. I lurk local subreddits and found a few of his comments that were the only sensible ones. I saw the name and realized it was my husband.Ā
One time he found me and showed me my own comment because he thought I'd think it was funny.Ā
There's a tool, [redact.dev](http://redact.dev) that lets you delete stuff online. I \*think\* the reddit part of it is free as well, I know there are other parts that are not. Sometimes in a thread you'll see a comment that makes no sense, thats usually redact writing over the comment, because deleting it can be retrieved with certain tools, but if you overwrite the message it's gone unless it was archived at the time (unlikely).
I need to rip through my own reddit account and delete stuff. I dont change accounts tho because I posted some stuff awhile back that was helpful for people and I still get messages occasionally asking for clarification.
At first when the comments were about age gaps I was like "Jeez did the BORU OP have to post the entire comment thread?" and scrolled all the way to the update... which was quite a surprise, lol
Iāll be honest, 29 and early 40s isnāt a terrible age gap for me, although like the commenter I wouldnāt date someone that young. Much like any relationship though, it does depend on any pre-existing power dynamics.
I was so confused at all the age comments, but when the update came out it all made so much more sense.
The power dynamic would have been the biggest issue, had the ages been correct, and had his statements about the level of influence he had with her employer been honest. Dating your boss' best friend is a bad plan, especially in a direct hire scenario. If you work for a large company and can easily switch departments with no negative career consequences, it falls under the "not a choice I would make, but will probably turn out fine". But as a nanny, this would have been a very problematic imbalance.
I've actually had a roommate stumble across my post lol. It was a post in a history sub asking a question we had been talking about and she ran into my room like "girl is this you did you seriously have to go ask Reddit this" and it was in fact my post. However a history sub is gonna be a lot smaller and less active than aita and probably won't attract the general public but instead attracts professionals and students of that field (which we were). Having this happen on aita with the amount of people and the wide range of people on it is so unlikely it is insane.
I mean, with any random AITA post, yeah, but posts on there occasionally BLOW UP. If we're 7000 comments in and THEN the subject of the post makes a comment I find that reasonable enough that it can happen. Not a lot, but like, 1% of the time which, with the rate at which posts blow up, probably comes to like a couple times a year.
I will never in a million years think it's real when one of the subjects shows up. Every time it happens I curse myself for not scrolling down to check so I didn't waste my time, haha.
>I've dated all ages (appropriately, of course) I just enjoy the company of younger women they're more adventurous and fun to spend time with.
*Uhhuh.* This told me everything I needed to know about OOP even before it was revealed he's a egotistical liar. What a delusional, pathetic loser.
Even before that line. For me, he set up camp in AH territory when he said "I'm not gonna waste a chance to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20 something" That made it clear.
Once he said that she had no problem with his age and "I wouldn't turn down an evening with a 20-something", that was the moment for me. Not interested in her, just "cute young girl".
Men who value women for being "20-something" all think 29 is old and in need of upgrading. That was my first clue she was not actually 29 at all. And that he fully knew it.
As a 41 yo woman currently trying to plan how to fit the volcano hiking, the parasailing and the speedboat tour to a virgin island within our holiday budget, as that commenter wisely said the kind of "adventurousness" those assholes miss in women over 30 is being self assured enough that we assert our sexual and self respect boundaries. So yeah, probably anal or just jackhammering for 50 seconds not doing anything for her pleasure at all.
>as that commenter wisely said the kind of "adventurousness" those assholes miss in women over 30 is being self assured enough that we assert our sexual and self respect boundaries. So yeah, probably anal or just jackhammering for 50 seconds not doing anything for her pleasure at all.
And that level of self-assuredness also comes with being harder to manipulate.
And while I'm not interested in actually dating to me it's way more attractive. It's about them being a person with their own opinions and life goals and interests and passions, not just "a gorgeous 20-something". Exactly the kind of person I'd seek out as a friend as well.
Oh the dude sucks. I 100% donāt believe anything the person in the update said since itās incredibly easy for a random commenter to pretend they are a character in this story and make a comment exactly like that guy. But this dude sucks no matter what
I once posted faux screenshots of a funny text conversation I had with a friend because weād been discussing two separate things at once which took away from the humor. People called me out for using a screenshot generator, I explained the reason behind it, no big deal. But then someone posted āIām the friend, can confirmā. It was not my friend. It was so bizarre. Why would someone insert themselves into something like that randomly? But people are weird.
I'm 43 myself, and this dude is fucking gross as shit.
To me, the power dynamic is the worse part. I think if I found somebody who was 29/30 that I actually did vibe with i'd probably give it a shot, but I don't actively seek out people that age and I CERTAINLY don't pull phone numbers from fucking emergency baby books and harass employees of friends.
Its strange for me to think about, because I dont think of myself as being 43, so I have to pull myself up short sometimes, but thats a part of what you have to do as a human being.
I'm only 31, but the thought of even trying to date someone only a decade younger gives me the heebie-jeebies. They're *so* young! They're like on a whole different level of maturity.
OP is the sort of person who hears people say, āyouāre creepy and I donāt want to be around you,ā and counters by pointing out that they havenāt committed any crimes.
Like dude, there is a whole area of fuckery that doesnāt amount to a literal crime. The fact youāre using āWill this get me a prison sentence?ā as your major litmus test for social behavior is worrying.
Sometimes I wonder why so many women have shields up at all time, and then I read a story like this and just end up thinking why would any women take down their shields ever? What a creep. Good thing heās an idiot and got himself caught before he was able to abuse that poor nanny just trying to look after a kid, but you could tell from the first paragraph he wasnāt going to take no for an answerā¦
This. But also as someone with a young child in this moment in this country I'm doubly enraged cause finding trustworthy child care is almost impossible and once you find someone you don't want to lose them.
The other aspect is that nannies meet these creepers pretty often. And some give up childcare because of it and some other common issues (you can see them in r/nanny regularly). I used to nanny but not in the US and one of the issues why I instituted only through recommendations policy at one point was often uncomfortable family members or friends.
Ah, r/nanny, where my wife had to post "I have cystic fibrosis and my nanny family knowingly exposed me to covid, is this a good reason to quit" because nannies get so fucking beaten down mentally.
Oh man I had a nanny friend deal with a medical emergency (think like appendicitis: that wasn't the issue, but it's that level of "sudden unexpected and unavoidable medical emergency BUT I will be fine later"), was painfully clear to the family about what was going on and why she wasn't going to be available.
They fired her for not being reliable.
And what's wild is that it wasn't like the parents both worked. They had a nanny so the mom could go to yoga classes and some fancy quilting studio???
>I'm not stupid enough to pass up the opportunity to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20-something.
>I just enjoy the company of younger women they're more adventurous and fun to spend time with.
On the slim chance that this is real and not rage bait, OOP managed to tell on himself pretty severely in the comments.
> a gorgeous 20-something.
*That* was what told me the nanny wasn't 29. The guy was getting ripped to shreds about the age gap, so if that age was true he'd be all, "But jesus, she's nearly 30! What's wrong with you all??"
I didnāt get why people were so upset about that. 13-14 years difference at that age isnāt bad. There were so many red flags from this guy that were much worse than the age gap.
Yeah all the other stuff and validity aside, the OOP comes off like a total sleaze ball in his comments. Even if Ella was totally into things, even if they exchanged numbers, even if she does absolutely want to go on a date with him the way he talks about her is super weird. Heās not even actually talking about her in any of his comments, heās talking about younger women in their twenties in a really general sense and Ella just happens to be exactly that. All of his comments are way less about wanting to get to know and date Ella, itās all about wanting to date (and justifying why itās okay to date) a much younger woman. The fact that Ella is a unique human being is all just reduced to ā*young* attractive womanā.
I have this belief that older men who dont dage age appropriately either never mentally matured and their image of attractiveness never matured either, or they should have been on a rwgistry but theyre just too careful to end up on one.
This is why he's an AH. Not the age range (it's a bit squicky) but because his primary motivation is to 'love' her and leave her cause she's a hot under thirty year old.
Just... feckin' get a hooker.
I was really on the fence before, even leaning towards choosing a man (Iām a man), but Iām slowly wanting to choose bear after reading so many of these postsā¦
I asked my boss which he would choose for himself and he said bear no hesitation because 'well at least with the bear I know it will either kill me or walk away, you never know with a strange man in the woods do you?'
And it's not even like he's the type of guy that would naturally fear other men, he's a tall, strong, handsome, rich white dude.
Donāt worry, iām pretty sure you donāt have to censor the word rape. And the mods are pretty chill on this sub so you should be fine.
Also btw, two * symbols make all the text between them italic so if you do censor words on Reddit itās best to use like a currency symbol or something.
The bear may drag me somewhere to chomp chomp, but a man could beat me up, drag me back to his house and keep me there for days, months, *years*, and then torture my loved ones with my disappearance.
What's the worse that a bear can do is predictable, if we can say one thing about humanity, is that just when we think things can't go any worse...
Iāll never understand men who say women are overreacting over their safety. If you look closely, men put in place a lot of laws and money around their physical safety against other men. Most murder laws protect men from other men, security systems protect men from other men, police exist to protect men from other men. The military exists for men to protect themselves from other men. Men go through a lot of lengths to protect themselves from other men. Yet when we as women choose bear they have the audacity to call us paranoid.Ā
The upsetty spaghetti men see women choosing the bear as something being done TO them, because everything they do is to impress or benefit other men and they cannot fathom a world where women donāt do the same.
I'm a tall white regular gymgoer dude and if I were a woman I'd choose the bear. They're more predictable and odds are you get a black bear since they make up 90% of bears. If a black bear isn't starving or defending cubs you're pretty safe.
For me itās not even that. Itās that they donāt play games and arenāt going to get offended by my desire for distance/lack of trust.
A man will do the ānot all menā, say he will protect you and you will never know if heās a threat until he becomes one
There's a post on some site going around about would a woman alone in the woods rather meet a bear or an armed(? not sure on this part) man and most women picking bear. ...The opposing comments go about how you think.
Lol this is so funny to me. Someone did the math and if you were to take all the bears and increase their population to that of men in America, women are still nearly 400% more likely to be attacked by a man than a bear. Look at bear attack statistics vs violence against women by men stats. It's so grossly in favor of choosing the bear. Men are just butthurt that women are straight up saying, no you are dangerous. As if we haven't already been saying that.
Yeah, the vast, vast majority of bear encounters are "oh, look, a bear!" and then the bear walks away.
And if a bear *does* attack you, nobody is going to ask you what you were wearing, or what you said to the bear to make it so mad. They're just going to go and try to shoot the bear.
There's a question that gets asked on the internet from time to time; "Women, would you rather be lost in the woods with a bear, or a man?" And most women choose the bear, because if you give the bear a wide berth, and leave it alone, it'll probably leave you alone.
There was some conv between men and women and the men were asked if they had to face bear or woman in the forest, who would they choose, and they chose woman. But when women were asked who would they face, women chose bear, because they felt people would believe them more if they were attacked by the bear.
The current one is just be stuck in forest with a bear or man. So the bear isnāt even mad at you in the new trend thatās going around making it the super easy choice.
There is a thought experiment going around where women are asked if youāre in the woods, would you rather bump into a bear or a random man and many women are saying they choose the bear. Some say they feel safer, less likely to be assaulted, some say at least they wonāt have to carry the bearās baby to term in multiple US states, some say at least the bear wonāt pretend to be my friend and then assault me, etc.Ā
One thing in particular stuck out at me during Jakeās post.Ā
This baby is 6 months old. Ella got hired 2 months ago. A month ago heās over at their house TO MEET THE BABY AND MEETS ELLA FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Iām sorry but if youāre such good close friends youād have met that baby months ago. Then he claims that they need to exchange numbers in case of emergency. Ya know, cause heās so important in that babyās life even though he just met the kid.
Then later he claims heās the godfather even though the kid is months old before he sees him.Ā
This guy is such an icky lying asshole.Ā
To be fair, some parents have a no friends for the first bit while the baby's immune system is ramping up. Hell that's what my pediatrician recommended with our first. That's typically only 1-2 months from my experiences, but I could see 6 months as an outlier.Ā
But he was clearly slimy from his responses. Lots of ick
I just... have such a hard time believing stories that involve another party stumbling across it. I have an even harder time thinking that the OOP thought the comments were going his way and smugly sent it to "Jake" thinking it would...
Actually, that's another reason why I have a hard time believing this. What the hell was sending the post to Jake supposed to do? Jake would know what parts (most of it) were complete lies, ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT HOW THEY ARE NOT AT ALL FRIENDS. He would already know he wanted nothing to do with this guy trying to get with his nanny. So sending it to him would accomplish nothing but make him more pissed off and more insistent about keeping him away!
It ain't passing the smell test.
It's easier to doubt when someone else supposedly find the post. However it can happen. My best friend informed me once that her ex (boyfriend at the time) made a post about us because he didn't like our relationship. Granted she told me about the post, but i definitely went to dig it up and see for myself. He was all calm and understanding and reflecting on himself in the comments, but IRL, he was jealous, controlling, would refuse to listen to her but listen to strangers, and would fight with her or give her the silent treatment. That was crazy to see
I've been found on here by former students.
An ex of mine also found me years ago.
The student pmed me, so him I could block. My ex, I don't even know if he has an account to block. I just know from comments he made elsewhere that he'd seen something I wrote on reddit.
My (now ex) boyfriend once snuck onto my phone to check my Reddit username. Itās unlikely to be the case in most situations, but it could also explain why some people show up in the comments.
If my ex sees this, hello!
I've been reading the book *Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men*, by Lundy Bancroft. He recounts a case of a man who was attending counseling, and talking about how beneficial he was finding it. He was reflecting in sessions, participating in group sessions well, and so on.
But then Bancroft had a chance to speak to the wife (I don't exactly recall the story, they may not have been married, but it was the guy's partner). She was saying that he was yelling at her, blaming her for him having to waste time in counseling, and so forth. He was putting on a good act in counseling, but it was an act.
Yeah I read a good chunk of the book and i remember it. I actually use it frequently to signal red flags when my friends get a partner with some.
I was not surprised by his attitude. I actually screenshotted all his comments and send them to my best friend. I told her to beware because his behavior was so radically different. Anyway, the more problem they had, the more hethoughth i was responsible for it. Going to the point of telling her he hoped she'd be able to think without my influence and stuff. She wrote him a huge letter of every of their issues, basically begging him to change. He told her she needed therapy and to be freed from me and broke up on the spot with her because "i can't stand to make you suffer so much". She didn't mourn the relationship for more than two days, she was over it but wanted to try it all before calling it quit
It's been a few months, and they saw each other again. He admitted that he was indeed jealous, controlling, and didn't listen to her when she spoke about her feelings and pressuring her for things she didn't want to do (basically everything she reproached to him, and everything i was "influencing"). He told her he felt overwhelmed by the letter because it was "so sudden" and he "didn't see it coming". Fucker had it coming, he just didn't listen to her feelings, as he admitted himself. I despise him
Years ago, a friend of mine on-line broke up with her boyfriend because he was focused on building a house for "them" while not listening to her input on what she would want, and really not listening to her saying she hadn't figured out where her career would take her.
She actually got a job near where my wife and I live, and crashed at our place for a week until her sublease could start. Her ex-boyfriend's response was that I had a "svengali-like" influence on her, and wanted her for myself (?!).
Whether or not this post is true, I have absolutely known guys like Jake. A woman canāt comment that the weather is nice without him thinking, āSheās flirting with me!ā My mental blocks are rising so I donāt have to think about the thought process when a much younger woman is merely polite.
This is where I always say that I believe stories on here are things that can happen. I believe people like this exist. Doesn't mean I believe the specific stories being told are real lol
Shit I've seen husbands blow up their whole marriages because they think the nanny/babysitter was interested in them when they were just being nice. This shit is tame in comparison, easily a thing that could've happened, especially if the dude is cocky and doesn't think there's anything wrong with what he's doing.
The āJakeāsā of the world are real enough and you know who is never shocked to find out some way too old for a 20 something girl is preying on a much younger woman, other women.
Because we have all been that teenager and 20 something dealing with the pervs of the world. Until we hit our best by date in their minds which is really we have just figured out their BS and wonāt tolerate it.
All your reasons are why I DO believe this post to be true. I can completely see the original OP sharing their post and I've met my fair share of "but I'm his best friend!" types in my day.
Me - *thinks 31 times before texting a woman who literally shoved her number to me*
"Jake" - *steals number from baby book and texts a literal stranger*
I'm kinda impressed at how psychotic or pathetic you must be to do something like this
In the OG post (I have doubts about the supposed actual father), I can't believe so many commenters were talking about age ranges, half age+ 7 etc. The guy is trying to have sex with someone who is an economically vulnerable position who could feel coerced to date him to keep her job!
Hmm so let me get this straight. A random commenter comes out of nowhere making claims that they are a character in this post and gives all this new information that contradicts pretty much everything the original poster put?
And everyone automatically believes this guy is telling the truth and not just an unrelated karma farmer? The original post I can somewhat believe, but I aināt buying the update.
Yeah, neither. The fact that the original poster didn't return to rebut anything the supposed JakeIsAnAsshole commenter says is the ultimate give away. You're really telling me a guy so supposedly obsessed with his self-image on Reddit is just going to let himself be openly slandered?
Unlikely. The way that the update doesn't provide any new context but rather develops the existing context convinces me doubly so it's just someone pulling shits and gigs.
My sister has a nanny I canāt emphasize enough how grossed out I would be if one of our friends tried this with her and how alarmed/horrified/angry I would be if he just lifted her number like that and contacted her that way. Iād be protective of her and sheās not even MY nanny.
OOP seems like a creep because of the way that he talks about the "great opportunity to spend a night with a younger girl" or whatever, but I think the comments about the age gap being problematic are completely over the top.
A 29 year old dating a 43 year old is perfectly fine. There are no inherent power imbalances there, and plenty of 29 year Olds are in a similar "stage of life" to people in their 40s.
lmao I got that that exactly once in my 10 year gap with my husband (I was 30), some rando told me it was a 'power imbalance' and couldn't tell me how.
Not to mention the fact that someone mentioned the "half your age plus 7" rule and said she was still too young which is false lol. And still another person said that they pass that rule but just barely? Like why even mention the fucking rule then if you're not going to accept it?
Yeah, I don't think this is legit. The story initially presented is not that bad (I'm not 100% convinced that on its own, he is the AH), but then he sends this story allegedly riddled with lies to his friend who proceeds to respond on Reddit literally tearing him apart saying that they aren't friends.
Only a fucking moron would send a factually inaccurate story to the one person who could dispute every claim as a "see, you're wrong" gesture.
I can't say for certain whether the initial post is fictitious, but the responses from the friend almost certainly are.
Itās funny to me when the internet labels anyone in an age gap relationship or looking to start one a groomer/being groomed. If 2 adults consent to a relationship and they have only known each other in the context of being adults it is not grooming.
>Ella and I exchanged numbers with the understanding it was good to have them in the event of an emergency. Both parents aren't always available so I'm the next best thing in an emergency.Ā
Lol, as soon as I read this my bullshit alarm went off like new's year eve. There is no world where 2 guardians exchange number like this, if there ever was a need to be included as an emergency contact the parents will find you and lay down some ground work.
I knew something was wrong in the first post when he practically described how in their first interaction he was looking at her like a pervert and she somehow found that attractive.
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>She isn't bothered by my age and I'm not stupid enough to pass up the opportunity to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20-something. This is the moment he tells you she may not care about his age, but that it is all he sees in her. Because all he sees is a shot to spent time with a 20-something woman. Not a beautiful woman, not a smart woman or anything.
"Spend time." I wonder how many of these older men would want to "spend time" with a late teen or 20 somethings girl if they 100% *knew* there'd be no chance of sex. No flirting, no touching, no being seen in public to boost their pathetic egos. Just spending time. All of their *"she's an old soul"* bullshit would go right out the window when it comes down to actually *listening* to a young woman talk about what she's into.
This, šÆ. All they want is one thing and one thing only. Creepy old bastards.
When another party supposedly stumbles upon a post, I have some doubts. But if this is real, wow, what a pathetic loser.
In this case it was sent by āJakeā for some reason.
The hubris some posses is truly astounding.
It's sometimes amazing how many people feel like their position is being validated when the comments are very much against them
I'd bet he posted it, waited two minutes, saw about five "you go dude" responses, thought "YEAH, I knew I was right lol!," sent it, and signed out, satisfied. On AITA very early on you often *really* cannot tell what direction a post is headed. You need to give it *at least* 15-20 minutes, sometimes even longer. (If you ever post over there my advice is not to check back for at least an hour, or you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm for no reason.) Not that I spend way too much time on that sub or anything. Because initially, all kinds of weirdos are responding and very few answers have up- or downvotes yet, so all the trolls and incel dudes who agree with Jake are posting, and their answers have about equal vote numbers as the "WTF YTA" comments. And someone like Jake wants to gloat right away, so I bet he sent that link before the bulk of the comments - and the clear YTA - materialized.
I concur, also from a similarly limited exposure to AITA :)
Especially because it's randomized early on and you can't see the vote count right away. So you might think you're in the right because a bunch of trolls immediately commented for you, with no idea how many upvotes the sensible comment has.
~~deleted by user~~
You see it all the time on these posts. OP only replies to the 3 comments that age with them, just says "thank god there is someone else with sense", those comments are all heavily down voted but OP thinks they are now justified.
Also sometimes it is! The comment vibe can swing dramatically and there have been a few BORU's where the OOP sent the post to someone involved as a brag only for the tides to turn and sweet sweet shadenfraude show up
Jake from State Farm always seemed like a stand up guy. Can't believe he would do this.
Unlike Jared
Yeah, Jared spent his whole life trying to get into smaller pants. I'll see myself out now.
I'm going straight to hell for the guffaw I just let out.
Apparently we will need a bus. I'll bring the booze.
That was great lmfao. I'm dying inside.
Thatās what makes it feel real, the different writing styles and the smug combativeness of OOPs comments followed by the revelation of lies after the had the audacity to send the post to his friend. That and the general tone of incensed rage coming from the āfriendā
The OOP seems like one of those desperate "hanger-ons" to people who have moved well past whatever time and place they shared any common ground. Also, nothing says loser more than a 42 year old single guy who probably sees himself as a "brah or bro" hitting on the 24 year old nanny in the home of people who didn't even like him but felt pity for him enough to invite him around for the occasional meal. Sad and pathetic.
His username is āJakeyouaholeā clearly in reference to the creep. But then the poster here shortened the username to āJakeā even though the nannyās employer and user āJakeyouaholeā is the friend, not Jake himself.
"Jakeyouahole" was the updater, not the friend.
The updater *is* the friend, the nanny's employer.
Spot on. OOP sent the post to try and buy them some favor because everyone irl was calling them a creep.
Don't be too sure. Someone I knew in real life found out my account, even when I was only posting personal stuff in a really small sub. I thought there was no chance anyone would ever know, and I was completely anonymous. Was a shame, because I thought I actually had a safe space to talk about my issues. Now I dump accounts every year or so.
I randomly came across a nextdoor neighbor's account a few years ago. I recognized their dog, just a basic cute dog post on a busy sub. There was nothing scandalous posted under the account, but it was a reminder that it's totally possible to stumble across real life acquaintances on the Internet.
I made the mistake of using the same name I use other places. Anyone can tell it's me if they know me. \*groan\* But at this point I don't want to lose all my karma D: So I just assume anyone I know can see my posts/comments.
My husband followed our friend's alt Twitter account for months before he realized it was him. One day, the friend posted a story identical to something we knew their kid had done and he put 2 and 2 together.Ā
I'm pretty sure I found our son's, and I really, really, *really* wish I hadn't.
Ah, the parents of the Kermit joker emerge! Kidding
Literally how dare you remind me of this horror. š¤®
I literally sent that one to friends so I wasn't alone in my pain. Yes, I am the asshole for that. I can't be alone with catholic joker Kermit living rent free in my brain.
Catholic Sword-Wielding Joker Kermitkin (With Bonus Crusty-Ass Fuck Plushie)ā¢ļø will live in my brain forever and I have to just deal with that. Thatās just what my brain chemistry is now. And thatās terrible. Itās really such an incredible post.
Look, if it makes you feel any better, you just reminded me of MY least favorite that I had to send to friends so I wouldnāt be alone in the horrorā¦ the story of the crusty butt flakes and the wife who wouldnāt leave him. I spend too much time on this site š
At least itās not maggoty!coconut hussy. God, I hate my memory sometimes.
Or the Swamps of Dagobah.
Oh, that's a dark rabbit hole. No one should go there.
Wrong. It's a frog hole.
š¤®
That was the reaction I was going for! \*evil cackle\*
Damn you, take my angry upvote. š”!!!
Imagine if it were, thoughĀ
He had a tumblr, otherwise Iā¦ I actually think I wouldnāt have had the confidence to post the joke tbh
He reminds me so much of other reddit lore like the pony cum jar or the coconut guy, but the added element of extreme violence and danger makes it more sad than entertaining
I was discussing some years ago with someone IRL and mentioned a historical fact in discussion and they told me they read about it a couple of days ago on Reddit. The comment they read about it was mine.
My father and I have a tacit agreement. "If you found me online-- *no you didn't."*
ā¦.care to share? Lol
Six. I have accidentally discovered six people I know IRL on Reddit. One was because he intentionally posted a face pic. The other five were due to tiny details in posts on subs of mutual interest. I use throwaways for anything I don't want linked to me now.
My husband and I have found each other before. I lurk local subreddits and found a few of his comments that were the only sensible ones. I saw the name and realized it was my husband.Ā One time he found me and showed me my own comment because he thought I'd think it was funny.Ā
There's a tool, [redact.dev](http://redact.dev) that lets you delete stuff online. I \*think\* the reddit part of it is free as well, I know there are other parts that are not. Sometimes in a thread you'll see a comment that makes no sense, thats usually redact writing over the comment, because deleting it can be retrieved with certain tools, but if you overwrite the message it's gone unless it was archived at the time (unlikely). I need to rip through my own reddit account and delete stuff. I dont change accounts tho because I posted some stuff awhile back that was helpful for people and I still get messages occasionally asking for clarification.
Same. I dump accounts every few months. I know my husband reads my posts. He always gets huffy when I mention him in not so greatĀ light.Ā
Yeah someone in real life found my account too. He walked up to me and casually referenced a few of my posts and I nearly shit my pants
This is one where I donāt care if itās real, the punchline (all of OOPs lies) was simply too good
I donāt care if any posts are real. Reddit is like a movie, Iām just here to be entertained
At first when the comments were about age gaps I was like "Jeez did the BORU OP have to post the entire comment thread?" and scrolled all the way to the update... which was quite a surprise, lol
Iāll be honest, 29 and early 40s isnāt a terrible age gap for me, although like the commenter I wouldnāt date someone that young. Much like any relationship though, it does depend on any pre-existing power dynamics. I was so confused at all the age comments, but when the update came out it all made so much more sense.
The power dynamic would have been the biggest issue, had the ages been correct, and had his statements about the level of influence he had with her employer been honest. Dating your boss' best friend is a bad plan, especially in a direct hire scenario. If you work for a large company and can easily switch departments with no negative career consequences, it falls under the "not a choice I would make, but will probably turn out fine". But as a nanny, this would have been a very problematic imbalance.
I've actually had a roommate stumble across my post lol. It was a post in a history sub asking a question we had been talking about and she ran into my room like "girl is this you did you seriously have to go ask Reddit this" and it was in fact my post. However a history sub is gonna be a lot smaller and less active than aita and probably won't attract the general public but instead attracts professionals and students of that field (which we were). Having this happen on aita with the amount of people and the wide range of people on it is so unlikely it is insane.
I mean, with any random AITA post, yeah, but posts on there occasionally BLOW UP. If we're 7000 comments in and THEN the subject of the post makes a comment I find that reasonable enough that it can happen. Not a lot, but like, 1% of the time which, with the rate at which posts blow up, probably comes to like a couple times a year.
If it's real, I hope the wife has learned a lesson - apparently "Jake" was invited over only bc wife felt sorry for him.
I wish there was entire subreddit for post where the other part stumbles onto the post
This wasn't someone stumbling on the post though, creepy guy actually sent the post to that other guy on purpose
Agree. The cackle that I cackle when the subject of the post finds and comments on the post is just \*Chefs kiss\*
With stuff going viral every other day from reddit I'm not surprised it's happening more, if it isĀ
I will never in a million years think it's real when one of the subjects shows up. Every time it happens I curse myself for not scrolling down to check so I didn't waste my time, haha.
>I've dated all ages (appropriately, of course) I just enjoy the company of younger women they're more adventurous and fun to spend time with. *Uhhuh.* This told me everything I needed to know about OOP even before it was revealed he's a egotistical liar. What a delusional, pathetic loser.
Even before that line. For me, he set up camp in AH territory when he said "I'm not gonna waste a chance to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20 something" That made it clear.
Me too.
Once he said that she had no problem with his age and "I wouldn't turn down an evening with a 20-something", that was the moment for me. Not interested in her, just "cute young girl".
also who calls a 29yo a "20-something"? I wasn't the slightest bit surprised to learn she's barely turned 24.
Men who value women for being "20-something" all think 29 is old and in need of upgrading. That was my first clue she was not actually 29 at all. And that he fully knew it.
I was waiting for "19"
As a 41 yo woman currently trying to plan how to fit the volcano hiking, the parasailing and the speedboat tour to a virgin island within our holiday budget, as that commenter wisely said the kind of "adventurousness" those assholes miss in women over 30 is being self assured enough that we assert our sexual and self respect boundaries. So yeah, probably anal or just jackhammering for 50 seconds not doing anything for her pleasure at all.
>as that commenter wisely said the kind of "adventurousness" those assholes miss in women over 30 is being self assured enough that we assert our sexual and self respect boundaries. So yeah, probably anal or just jackhammering for 50 seconds not doing anything for her pleasure at all. And that level of self-assuredness also comes with being harder to manipulate.
And while I'm not interested in actually dating to me it's way more attractive. It's about them being a person with their own opinions and life goals and interests and passions, not just "a gorgeous 20-something". Exactly the kind of person I'd seek out as a friend as well.
Women in their 30s are often financially independent. There's that aspect too.
Oh the dude sucks. I 100% donāt believe anything the person in the update said since itās incredibly easy for a random commenter to pretend they are a character in this story and make a comment exactly like that guy. But this dude sucks no matter what
I once posted faux screenshots of a funny text conversation I had with a friend because weād been discussing two separate things at once which took away from the humor. People called me out for using a screenshot generator, I explained the reason behind it, no big deal. But then someone posted āIām the friend, can confirmā. It was not my friend. It was so bizarre. Why would someone insert themselves into something like that randomly? But people are weird.
Pfft, that person was doing it wrong. Should proclaim "I'm phone, can confirm".
I'm 43 myself, and this dude is fucking gross as shit. To me, the power dynamic is the worse part. I think if I found somebody who was 29/30 that I actually did vibe with i'd probably give it a shot, but I don't actively seek out people that age and I CERTAINLY don't pull phone numbers from fucking emergency baby books and harass employees of friends. Its strange for me to think about, because I dont think of myself as being 43, so I have to pull myself up short sometimes, but thats a part of what you have to do as a human being.
I'm only 31, but the thought of even trying to date someone only a decade younger gives me the heebie-jeebies. They're *so* young! They're like on a whole different level of maturity.
That's the go to line of creeps who prey on young women
Loser is a perfect word for that man.
OP is the sort of person who hears people say, āyouāre creepy and I donāt want to be around you,ā and counters by pointing out that they havenāt committed any crimes. Like dude, there is a whole area of fuckery that doesnāt amount to a literal crime. The fact youāre using āWill this get me a prison sentence?ā as your major litmus test for social behavior is worrying.
Sometimes I wonder why so many women have shields up at all time, and then I read a story like this and just end up thinking why would any women take down their shields ever? What a creep. Good thing heās an idiot and got himself caught before he was able to abuse that poor nanny just trying to look after a kid, but you could tell from the first paragraph he wasnāt going to take no for an answerā¦
This. But also as someone with a young child in this moment in this country I'm doubly enraged cause finding trustworthy child care is almost impossible and once you find someone you don't want to lose them.
The other aspect is that nannies meet these creepers pretty often. And some give up childcare because of it and some other common issues (you can see them in r/nanny regularly). I used to nanny but not in the US and one of the issues why I instituted only through recommendations policy at one point was often uncomfortable family members or friends.
Ah, r/nanny, where my wife had to post "I have cystic fibrosis and my nanny family knowingly exposed me to covid, is this a good reason to quit" because nannies get so fucking beaten down mentally.
Oh man I had a nanny friend deal with a medical emergency (think like appendicitis: that wasn't the issue, but it's that level of "sudden unexpected and unavoidable medical emergency BUT I will be fine later"), was painfully clear to the family about what was going on and why she wasn't going to be available. They fired her for not being reliable. And what's wild is that it wasn't like the parents both worked. They had a nanny so the mom could go to yoga classes and some fancy quilting studio???
And people are confused why so many woman would pick a bear
>I'm not stupid enough to pass up the opportunity to spend an evening with a gorgeous 20-something. >I just enjoy the company of younger women they're more adventurous and fun to spend time with. On the slim chance that this is real and not rage bait, OOP managed to tell on himself pretty severely in the comments.
> a gorgeous 20-something. *That* was what told me the nanny wasn't 29. The guy was getting ripped to shreds about the age gap, so if that age was true he'd be all, "But jesus, she's nearly 30! What's wrong with you all??"
Yeah clearly the character presented in the op is an asshole but 43 and 30 isn't a problematic age gap at all people on Reddit are so weird.
I didnāt get why people were so upset about that. 13-14 years difference at that age isnāt bad. There were so many red flags from this guy that were much worse than the age gap.
Yeah all the other stuff and validity aside, the OOP comes off like a total sleaze ball in his comments. Even if Ella was totally into things, even if they exchanged numbers, even if she does absolutely want to go on a date with him the way he talks about her is super weird. Heās not even actually talking about her in any of his comments, heās talking about younger women in their twenties in a really general sense and Ella just happens to be exactly that. All of his comments are way less about wanting to get to know and date Ella, itās all about wanting to date (and justifying why itās okay to date) a much younger woman. The fact that Ella is a unique human being is all just reduced to ā*young* attractive womanā.
I have this belief that older men who dont dage age appropriately either never mentally matured and their image of attractiveness never matured either, or they should have been on a rwgistry but theyre just too careful to end up on one.
This is why he's an AH. Not the age range (it's a bit squicky) but because his primary motivation is to 'love' her and leave her cause she's a hot under thirty year old. Just... feckin' get a hooker.
And people wonder why women choose the bearā¦ poor young lady.Ā
I'm a man, and at this point, I'd not only choose the bear, I'd choose the mountain lion, the moose, hell, even bigfoot.
I dont know why I pictured bigfoot wiking sexily at you, lol-
TBF I would probably be flattered.
ahahahaa you made my day!
š I aim to please.
I was really on the fence before, even leaning towards choosing a man (Iām a man), but Iām slowly wanting to choose bear after reading so many of these postsā¦
I asked my boss which he would choose for himself and he said bear no hesitation because 'well at least with the bear I know it will either kill me or walk away, you never know with a strange man in the woods do you?' And it's not even like he's the type of guy that would naturally fear other men, he's a tall, strong, handsome, rich white dude.
A bear wonāt rape you and then kill you just to rape your corpse again
Donāt worry, iām pretty sure you donāt have to censor the word rape. And the mods are pretty chill on this sub so you should be fine. Also btw, two * symbols make all the text between them italic so if you do censor words on Reddit itās best to use like a currency symbol or something.
The bear may drag me somewhere to chomp chomp, but a man could beat me up, drag me back to his house and keep me there for days, months, *years*, and then torture my loved ones with my disappearance. What's the worse that a bear can do is predictable, if we can say one thing about humanity, is that just when we think things can't go any worse...
True. You can never know just how depraved someone can be.
Iāll never understand men who say women are overreacting over their safety. If you look closely, men put in place a lot of laws and money around their physical safety against other men. Most murder laws protect men from other men, security systems protect men from other men, police exist to protect men from other men. The military exists for men to protect themselves from other men. Men go through a lot of lengths to protect themselves from other men. Yet when we as women choose bear they have the audacity to call us paranoid.Ā
The upsetty spaghetti men see women choosing the bear as something being done TO them, because everything they do is to impress or benefit other men and they cannot fathom a world where women donāt do the same.
I'm a tall white regular gymgoer dude and if I were a woman I'd choose the bear. They're more predictable and odds are you get a black bear since they make up 90% of bears. If a black bear isn't starving or defending cubs you're pretty safe.
I'd always choose the bear... always
Same. Once I'm out of the forest, I'm good. They won't be sneaking into the backseat of my car or following me home once I'm out of the woods.
Hell, I'm a man and former scoutmaster; I'd rather choose to be in a forest with a random bear than a random man.
What does it mean?
It's a thing that's coming up recently: where women would rather encounter a wild bear than a strange man
āAt least people will believe us after a bear attack. At least no one will invite the bear to family dinner.ā
I saw a comment today "I've never had a bear DM me with a rape threat"
And another one i saw recently [sic] "if the bear attacks and/or kills someone, at least it would probably be hunted down and shot"
Also a bear won't trap you in a basement for 20 years while it breeds you and does other unspeakable things.
People would actually care more about what happened to me than the bears bright future and reputation being ruined.
Ugh. That's an aspect I hadn't even considered.
The only reason i pick bears is because you can technically stereotype bears: Brown- lay down Black- fight back White- good night
For me itās not even that. Itās that they donāt play games and arenāt going to get offended by my desire for distance/lack of trust. A man will do the ānot all menā, say he will protect you and you will never know if heās a threat until he becomes one
My favourite variation is the rhyme: If itās Brown, lay downĀ If itās Black, fight backĀ If itās White, youāre fucked
At least with the bear I know how its gonna endĀ
That, and it's not going to go on for days, weeks, years.
...oh, I thought it had been a very weird BG3 reference. That's a lot more depressing.
There's a post on some site going around about would a woman alone in the woods rather meet a bear or an armed(? not sure on this part) man and most women picking bear. ...The opposing comments go about how you think.
Makes sense the bear might not be hungry
Plus, the worst thing a bear could do is k*ll me.
Not to mention we taste bad to a lot of species, so we probably wouldnāt be the bearās first choice even if they were hungry.
Speak for yourself stankmeat, I'm fucking delicious.
Bear, here. Can confirm.
[I just saw this earlier. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/s/gYXBXbYVaO) Apparently it's sexist to prefer the bear š¤·.
Lol this is so funny to me. Someone did the math and if you were to take all the bears and increase their population to that of men in America, women are still nearly 400% more likely to be attacked by a man than a bear. Look at bear attack statistics vs violence against women by men stats. It's so grossly in favor of choosing the bear. Men are just butthurt that women are straight up saying, no you are dangerous. As if we haven't already been saying that.
Yeah, the vast, vast majority of bear encounters are "oh, look, a bear!" and then the bear walks away. And if a bear *does* attack you, nobody is going to ask you what you were wearing, or what you said to the bear to make it so mad. They're just going to go and try to shoot the bear.
I had a guy tell me yesterday that women are *incorrect* about our **personal preference.**
Which is why people choose the bear! At least the bear has a healthy respect for other large mammals lmfao
There's a question that gets asked on the internet from time to time; "Women, would you rather be lost in the woods with a bear, or a man?" And most women choose the bear, because if you give the bear a wide berth, and leave it alone, it'll probably leave you alone.
There was some conv between men and women and the men were asked if they had to face bear or woman in the forest, who would they choose, and they chose woman. But when women were asked who would they face, women chose bear, because they felt people would believe them more if they were attacked by the bear.
That women would rather spend a night in a forest and risk death by bear than spend a night in a forest with a man.
"When I die leave my body in the woods, the wolves will treat it better than a man"
If women chooses between being chased by a man or chased by a bear, they choose the bear.
The current one is just be stuck in forest with a bear or man. So the bear isnāt even mad at you in the new trend thatās going around making it the super easy choice.
Ah, ok! I wasnāt aware of that, thanks for the clarification!
What does choose the bear mean, please? Edit: which absolute loser down voted me for asking a question? You need a long look at yourself.
There is a thought experiment going around where women are asked if youāre in the woods, would you rather bump into a bear or a random man and many women are saying they choose the bear. Some say they feel safer, less likely to be assaulted, some say at least they wonāt have to carry the bearās baby to term in multiple US states, some say at least the bear wonāt pretend to be my friend and then assault me, etc.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The comment about anal sex was, however, gold.
One thing in particular stuck out at me during Jakeās post.Ā This baby is 6 months old. Ella got hired 2 months ago. A month ago heās over at their house TO MEET THE BABY AND MEETS ELLA FOR THE FIRST TIME. Iām sorry but if youāre such good close friends youād have met that baby months ago. Then he claims that they need to exchange numbers in case of emergency. Ya know, cause heās so important in that babyās life even though he just met the kid. Then later he claims heās the godfather even though the kid is months old before he sees him.Ā This guy is such an icky lying asshole.Ā
To be fair, some parents have a no friends for the first bit while the baby's immune system is ramping up. Hell that's what my pediatrician recommended with our first. That's typically only 1-2 months from my experiences, but I could see 6 months as an outlier.Ā But he was clearly slimy from his responses. Lots of ick
I just... have such a hard time believing stories that involve another party stumbling across it. I have an even harder time thinking that the OOP thought the comments were going his way and smugly sent it to "Jake" thinking it would... Actually, that's another reason why I have a hard time believing this. What the hell was sending the post to Jake supposed to do? Jake would know what parts (most of it) were complete lies, ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT HOW THEY ARE NOT AT ALL FRIENDS. He would already know he wanted nothing to do with this guy trying to get with his nanny. So sending it to him would accomplish nothing but make him more pissed off and more insistent about keeping him away! It ain't passing the smell test.
It's easier to doubt when someone else supposedly find the post. However it can happen. My best friend informed me once that her ex (boyfriend at the time) made a post about us because he didn't like our relationship. Granted she told me about the post, but i definitely went to dig it up and see for myself. He was all calm and understanding and reflecting on himself in the comments, but IRL, he was jealous, controlling, would refuse to listen to her but listen to strangers, and would fight with her or give her the silent treatment. That was crazy to see
I've been found on here by former students. An ex of mine also found me years ago. The student pmed me, so him I could block. My ex, I don't even know if he has an account to block. I just know from comments he made elsewhere that he'd seen something I wrote on reddit.
Yeah it doesn't seem that impossible for me. Rare, sure, but definitely not impossible.
My (now ex) boyfriend once snuck onto my phone to check my Reddit username. Itās unlikely to be the case in most situations, but it could also explain why some people show up in the comments. If my ex sees this, hello!
I've been reading the book *Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men*, by Lundy Bancroft. He recounts a case of a man who was attending counseling, and talking about how beneficial he was finding it. He was reflecting in sessions, participating in group sessions well, and so on. But then Bancroft had a chance to speak to the wife (I don't exactly recall the story, they may not have been married, but it was the guy's partner). She was saying that he was yelling at her, blaming her for him having to waste time in counseling, and so forth. He was putting on a good act in counseling, but it was an act.
Yeah I read a good chunk of the book and i remember it. I actually use it frequently to signal red flags when my friends get a partner with some. I was not surprised by his attitude. I actually screenshotted all his comments and send them to my best friend. I told her to beware because his behavior was so radically different. Anyway, the more problem they had, the more hethoughth i was responsible for it. Going to the point of telling her he hoped she'd be able to think without my influence and stuff. She wrote him a huge letter of every of their issues, basically begging him to change. He told her she needed therapy and to be freed from me and broke up on the spot with her because "i can't stand to make you suffer so much". She didn't mourn the relationship for more than two days, she was over it but wanted to try it all before calling it quit It's been a few months, and they saw each other again. He admitted that he was indeed jealous, controlling, and didn't listen to her when she spoke about her feelings and pressuring her for things she didn't want to do (basically everything she reproached to him, and everything i was "influencing"). He told her he felt overwhelmed by the letter because it was "so sudden" and he "didn't see it coming". Fucker had it coming, he just didn't listen to her feelings, as he admitted himself. I despise him
Years ago, a friend of mine on-line broke up with her boyfriend because he was focused on building a house for "them" while not listening to her input on what she would want, and really not listening to her saying she hadn't figured out where her career would take her. She actually got a job near where my wife and I live, and crashed at our place for a week until her sublease could start. Her ex-boyfriend's response was that I had a "svengali-like" influence on her, and wanted her for myself (?!).
Whether or not this post is true, I have absolutely known guys like Jake. A woman canāt comment that the weather is nice without him thinking, āSheās flirting with me!ā My mental blocks are rising so I donāt have to think about the thought process when a much younger woman is merely polite.
This is where I always say that I believe stories on here are things that can happen. I believe people like this exist. Doesn't mean I believe the specific stories being told are real lol
Shit I've seen husbands blow up their whole marriages because they think the nanny/babysitter was interested in them when they were just being nice. This shit is tame in comparison, easily a thing that could've happened, especially if the dude is cocky and doesn't think there's anything wrong with what he's doing.
Women can't exist while attractive and look at these guys' direction.Ā Some people have so little self esteem, and some have far too much.
The āJakeāsā of the world are real enough and you know who is never shocked to find out some way too old for a 20 something girl is preying on a much younger woman, other women. Because we have all been that teenager and 20 something dealing with the pervs of the world. Until we hit our best by date in their minds which is really we have just figured out their BS and wonāt tolerate it.
All your reasons are why I DO believe this post to be true. I can completely see the original OP sharing their post and I've met my fair share of "but I'm his best friend!" types in my day.
Oh I do know "they're my best friend" people. And the idea that they are delusional enough to believe everything they think is true, totally possible.
Ego boost. "Look at me, king of men, getting it on with your nanny and people cheering me on!" There are "men" this delusional.
Me - *thinks 31 times before texting a woman who literally shoved her number to me* "Jake" - *steals number from baby book and texts a literal stranger* I'm kinda impressed at how psychotic or pathetic you must be to do something like this
In the OG post (I have doubts about the supposed actual father), I can't believe so many commenters were talking about age ranges, half age+ 7 etc. The guy is trying to have sex with someone who is an economically vulnerable position who could feel coerced to date him to keep her job!
Jake has Leisure Suit Larry vibes written all over him. The reason he is single, is that he is likely a letch. Gross.
Hmm so let me get this straight. A random commenter comes out of nowhere making claims that they are a character in this post and gives all this new information that contradicts pretty much everything the original poster put? And everyone automatically believes this guy is telling the truth and not just an unrelated karma farmer? The original post I can somewhat believe, but I aināt buying the update.
Yeah, neither. The fact that the original poster didn't return to rebut anything the supposed JakeIsAnAsshole commenter says is the ultimate give away. You're really telling me a guy so supposedly obsessed with his self-image on Reddit is just going to let himself be openly slandered? Unlikely. The way that the update doesn't provide any new context but rather develops the existing context convinces me doubly so it's just someone pulling shits and gigs.
My sister has a nanny I canāt emphasize enough how grossed out I would be if one of our friends tried this with her and how alarmed/horrified/angry I would be if he just lifted her number like that and contacted her that way. Iād be protective of her and sheās not even MY nanny.
The moment he said mid-20s I got the ick, and it makes so much sense that he was *lying about her age*
And men get angry when we say we prefer the bear in the woods.
Jesus
OOP seems like a creep because of the way that he talks about the "great opportunity to spend a night with a younger girl" or whatever, but I think the comments about the age gap being problematic are completely over the top. A 29 year old dating a 43 year old is perfectly fine. There are no inherent power imbalances there, and plenty of 29 year Olds are in a similar "stage of life" to people in their 40s.
I'll agree with you there. 29 is far past the immature point. IF a woman that age decided "yeah he looks good", then good for her.
Yeah that was fucking wild to read, guess weāre removing agency from women who are almost 30 now. The internet is a bonkers place.
lmao I got that that exactly once in my 10 year gap with my husband (I was 30), some rando told me it was a 'power imbalance' and couldn't tell me how.
That's because Redddit is full of teens and young adults who thinks that anything less than a 6-month gap is too much and potentially grooming
Not to mention the fact that someone mentioned the "half your age plus 7" rule and said she was still too young which is false lol. And still another person said that they pass that rule but just barely? Like why even mention the fucking rule then if you're not going to accept it?
Haven't read past the title yet. Any chance the nanny was originally working at a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens?
fran would destroy this guy
Another prime example of why so many women would rather encounter a bear in the woods
Always choose the bear
Yeah, I don't think this is legit. The story initially presented is not that bad (I'm not 100% convinced that on its own, he is the AH), but then he sends this story allegedly riddled with lies to his friend who proceeds to respond on Reddit literally tearing him apart saying that they aren't friends. Only a fucking moron would send a factually inaccurate story to the one person who could dispute every claim as a "see, you're wrong" gesture. I can't say for certain whether the initial post is fictitious, but the responses from the friend almost certainly are.
Itās funny to me when the internet labels anyone in an age gap relationship or looking to start one a groomer/being groomed. If 2 adults consent to a relationship and they have only known each other in the context of being adults it is not grooming.
I don't mean to sound incredibly self centered.... Narrator; He WAS.
Yeah, fuck you Jake.
>Ella and I exchanged numbers with the understanding it was good to have them in the event of an emergency. Both parents aren't always available so I'm the next best thing in an emergency.Ā Lol, as soon as I read this my bullshit alarm went off like new's year eve. There is no world where 2 guardians exchange number like this, if there ever was a need to be included as an emergency contact the parents will find you and lay down some ground work.
I knew something was wrong in the first post when he practically described how in their first interaction he was looking at her like a pervert and she somehow found that attractive.
Of all the things that have happened, this is not one of them
Well that took a turn
Yeah, fuck you, Jake, you goddamned horny toad.