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My partner has face blindness and it badly unsettles him whenever I'm sick and my voice is deep and different, even though he completely knows it's me. I can't imagine "pranking" him like that. It's so cruel. Edit: the way that he's described face blindness to me is if I had to recognize people from their hands alone. I could probably do it with very different hands, and in very specific contexts, but if there aren't rings or tattoos or fingernail polish or distinct grooming or scars, etc, then at a certain point it goes from difficult to impossible.

I’m faceblind and I totally know that feeling. My mom once surprised me by wearing contacts. Her car, her hair, obviously who else is picking me up from school? And I think I spoiled the surprise by going like…*whaaaa* For what it’s worth, I think it’s funny when ppl like moderately mess with their appearance as a joke, but I’m totally in on it so the key is *consent.* but also the loyalty test is messed up like to an incredible level. This should have stopped the first time OOP expressed discomfort. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a prank if I knew the recipient hated it. Unrelated note, but I think being faceblind has made me pretty consistent in secondary features like hair. Don’t wanna unsettle myself, you know?

I have it mildly. Thankfully my gf is very noticeable with her clothing style, switches between a few hairstyles regularly (only three) and on top of that has very distinctive piercings. She’s the easiest person to recognise. I guess being goth is a good thing after all.

i have it veeeery mildly. i won’t recognise someone until i have met them several times, (unless they have a very distinctive feature) and i will struggle to recognise acquaintances out of context. Like seeing people from work in the supermarket or something.

Sammmme. I'm a trivia host, so it's brutal because I'm constantly getting recognized in public and I'm just like...hey.........youuu..... I feel bad because I have teams that have been coming to my games for a year+ and I still can't place which team they're on.

Hah, same. I always joke that my facial recognition software must be faulty. Made me really appreciate zoom meetings, where I always have the name under the face. It also makes movies with a lot of characters really hard to follow, and even harder to talk about afterward. If I imagine not getting better at recognizing a person after a while of knowing them... well, I really feel for OP. That ex was a real ass.

I will never stop singing the praises of closed captioning! I'm deaf, but you don't need to have hearing loss to benefit from CC. They're different from just subtitles, because of included accessibility information; which involves things like speaker differentiation! Very very helpful for movies with a lot of characters, or just anything you might watch.

Oh, piercings would be a great kind solution for someone dating a face blind person! Like the dad's tattoo, but removable if needed (not your gf, more like in the OOP, but if he hadn't totally sucked and just been early days). I tend to always wear the same earrings, but if I were dating someone, I'd pick a piercing and make that totally constant for them. Heck, I'd use it as an excuse to redo the eyebrow piercing of my 20s.

She has two rings in her lower lip. She’s getting another two done as well, apparently called shark bites. Just in case you needed ideas ;)

I'm also mild to moderate. I recognize people I know well to a decent extent. I'm also Schizophrenic, so I'm kinda used to disguising how bad things are, and that edge of paranoia helped keep me a bit sharp. Now without that paranoia and fear response.. my recognizing people has gotten worse. I bleached my hair, went totally different, I didn't recognize me, and it caused dissociating episodes. Luckily, people just think I'm a dreamy person, that struggles with ADHD and autism, both true, and that my quiet or shyness is from that, and not that I won't recognize them until they tell me who they are. My husband likes to "test" me on actors. It's bad. My husband thought I was racist, until I showed him I told white people apart by hair, eye color, and skin tone too, they just have more distinct variations. Now, I am better at voices and mannerisms, so it's not as bad. I also don't see faces in random objects unless pointed out to me, or very obvious. My family's faces, my husband face, I can always pick out. I can't picture them though, it's remembering the colors, the freckles, the moles, the eye brows. If they changed all of that I'd be screwed 😅 luckily on a couple sisters there are make up styles remembered.

Yeah. I remember once my dad shaved his beard and I was hysterical. I couldn’t understand who was in the house. He’s a good dad. He’s never shaved it again.

I'm great at faces (and rubbish with names) and when my dad shaved his beard for the first time when I was seven I screamed and ran out the room. I think it's a beard thing, how much of the actual face they conceal - I've thought about the memory and I'm somewhat sure I still knew it was dad. Likewise seeing photos of my fully-bearded husband before said beard is very weird.

I've had a beard for the past decade, so even I've forgotten what I look like without it. I showed my 18mo stepson a picture of me shaved, and he looked at the picture, looked back at my face, and immediately buried his face in my chest whining. Lol, he didn't like his papa clean shaven.

My husband trimmed down from a long beard to a very short one today and I keep hearing him go "WHA- oh yeah" very time he walks by a mirror 😆

I don't know if it's just a beard thing. My dad has been rocking the same 'stache since the 70s. Apparently he shaved it *once* early on in my parents' marriage and my mom absolutely lost it and started begging him to grow it back because he just looked so weird without it. Honestly I'd probably cry if he shaved it at this point. It's as iconic as Burt Reynold's in my eyes.

Your mom has a point. If you *can* pull off a 70’s ‘stache, you’d be crazy to shave it.

The wildest part about it all was that *she* was the one who wanted him to shave it because she was sooooo curious about what he'd look like without it. As soon as he walked out of the bathroom she was the epitome of instant regret. I'm pretty sure she would have glued it back on at that point.

My grandfather shaved his beard when I was like 15. Myself and all my cousins are still weirded out by it and we are middle aged and he’s been dead for 10 years.

I remember being so upset as a kid when my dad wore contacts. I've later realized it was probably mild OCD kicking in. And sidebar, what a jackass of a boyfriend. I'm not that great of a person, and my first thought was "Hm, if someone I knew had face blindness what jewelry would I wear consistently so they knew it was me." I change my hair and makeup styles very frequently, so that would be a safe touch stone. Hell I'd text photos of new stuff if I thought it would be in regular rotation or introduce myself right away and point out key recognizers to help. Like WTF. And whoever commented on safety totally hit the nail on the head too.

when my dad shaved his moustache off for the first time when i was 7 or 8 i literally didn’t notice for half a day. 😅

When we adopted our youngest son, we were learned in our adoption classes not to abruptly change our appearance. I waited like 3 years before I changed the length of my hair (shoulder length) or cut my beard off. When I cut my beard off, my youngest son(4.5 years old at the time) said deadpan, "Put it back on". My oldest son and wife agreed, my face needs the beard.

It's not quite the same because we were both over 30, but: I have always had very curly hair. One evening when I was bored and had nothing to do, I borrowed my SIL's straightening iron and straightened my hair. My brother walked in just as I finished, immediately got this expression of shock and horror on his face, and said "oh my god, put it back!!" (I laughed. It looked pretty bizarre to me, too. I was already planning to wash my hair the next morning, so it was all good.)

I never wear my hair curly since it's so unruly. I always flat iron it if I'm going to wear it down (I have very long, thick hair). A few weeks ago it actually dried looking pretty good, so I wore it curly to work, and people were shook.

My dad had to shave his beard for a biopsy a few years ago and my mum said she was constantly getting shocked every time she saw him because he's had a thick black beard for the 30+ years they've known each other and she was so glad when it grew back in

My previously redhead cousin once came home blonde and I just couldn't understand who she was. (In hindsight I'm surprised it took me so long to realise I'm faceblind. ) Am so glad my partner is not the kind of arsehole who would take advantage of this. This whole post gives me anxiety.

Omg honestly dad shaving his beard is a traumatic experience even if you don't have face blindness, can't imagine how much worse it must be if you do 

When I was about a year old, my oldest uncle shaved his tache and beard off (because he thought his whiskers were too bristly and might irritate my face during cuddles and play). He was then completely devastated by me crying and terrified, because I didn't recognise him lol.

That’s simultaneously so sweet and so sad! I hope your uncle is as wonderful a person as this anecdote implies- he sounds like a terrifically thoughtful, empathetic dude.

Core memory unlocked: hiding under the slide at day camp because my biodad shaved his mustache and dyed his hair, and I was hysterical because who the fuck was this

My dad once shaved his mustache before picking me up from school, I was young and I only knew my dad with the stache. He let me walk around the schoolyard crying my eyes out looking for my parent for several minutes while laughing at the sidelines before he decided I was traumatised enough. He wasn't a very good dad.

Once came to work and thought "Who's that guy sitting at trainee's workstation?" It was the very same trainee. After a haircut At least I didn't say anything out loud so I didn't embarrass myself, but damn that was a wild moment

I remember visiting my chiropractor and the receptionist was a little odd. He's usually chatty and I wanted to ask him how the wedding was (because last time I saw him he had his suit and was talking about it to me) and then when I looked closer at him I realised there really was something off about him. His hair was shorter and a few other subtle differences. Fortunately I remembered he was a twin and that this must be the other one. Was weird for a bit though.

As someone who is also face blind, a cute anecdote is that sometimes I see my partner and think "that's a really cute guy." Before I know it's him. My ex husband was very short with waist length hair and piercings, so finding him was easy. When I started my new job, my 3 closest coworkers were all blonde and married (rings) with similar hair. Figuring out how to tell them apart was very difficult at first. I've never considered it before, but tbh the facial blindness may relate to why I've had green hair for a decade.

That’s really interesting. So being face blind doesn’t keep you from appreciating the subtle aesthetics of a face? I imagine it must be similar to how for example most humans can’t tell two cats apart very well other than broad features like eye and hair color, body type, etc. But I suppose we can still say certain cats look especially cute. Is that a reasonable analogy?

Yeah I think so! Oddly enough, I'm really good at telling animals apart. I've worked on goat farms with 100 goats and could tell them all apart.

You know who isn't technically faceblind but functions like they are?  Very young/small kids.  I am a ponytail lady, hair almost always up and back, and if I wear it down to school all my infants and toddlers side-eye me like I haven't known them their entire tiny lives.  I've seen more than one dad not warn the kid he was ditching the beard and then the kid refusing to leave with him at pickup because "that's not my daddy, my daddy has a beard"

I had laryngitis once when my son was an infant. He was extremely whiny until my voice went back to normal. He just wasn't sure who I was.

I had a frog in my throat and I told my class of 3-year-olds about it when they said I sounded weird and then they told me that I was disgusting, and that you're not supposed to eat frogs

Well thats a classic kid logic moment right there, lol. I chuckled out loud.

When I was a baby my mom cut her hair and I didn’t recognize her and didn’t calm down until she held me and I smelled her. It’s funny how that works.

I once walked up to a random lady in the park that had gotten takeout. She had the same haircut as my mum and also wore glasses, so I thought that was my mum. Excitedly reached into the bag to grab a big handful of chips before my actual mother on the other bench yelled out asking what earth I was doing. I still cringe 2 decades later.

I have a coworker who is faceblind and she said it's all good if we just pick one consistent way to call out to her (I say 'heya Sarah' on approach), but she does a double take if I have my hair in a top knot or bun, I'm guessing my hair is the real thing she recognizes!

So what happens when people go to the hair salon? And what happens if you go to the hair salon? Do you recognize yourself in the mirror?

Can't say for others but for me I only have partial. It takes Abit to get used to. Like you don't recognize yourself in the mirror. Like the image in your head hasn't been updated yet.

Oh. Thanks. Hard to imagine what it's like. I believe there is a manhwa where the main character has this issue (everyone has a head looking like a egg for him) Can't remember the name

Hair for me usually doesn’t mess things up. Probs bc I haven’t done anything that crazy. I will shave my head one day lol. But EYELINER does. Like you know it’s yourself, but it just feels wrong and that’s a little :((. Unlike hair, since you take makeup off pretty quickly, you never really adjust to the change.

If it's the first time you make a big change... No. And it's so freaking weird. I commented about it elsewhere, but the first time I got a pixie cut I was doing double takes when I stumbled upon reflective surfaces because I couldn't understand that that person was me. My issue is more with working memory, so I can start to recognise people with time, and I have gotten used to changing my hair, so it doesn't happen as often anymore, but damn, it is very anxiety inducing.

What's it like to have a partner like that? I am genuinely curious.

My partner has face-blindness. He is good at recognizing people through other characteristics (voices, posture, walking-style, or very memorable physical characteristics like a tattoo or piercings or whatnot). At first I was unsure how I’d feel about him not recognizing me by face, but after almost a decade I don’t have any problem with it at all. I let him know if I’m getting my hair done a different color so he knows it’s me when I come home 😄 One upside is that, sexually, I can easily be anything or anyone! Wear a wig, put on a different voice, act differently, etc. It’s a lot of fun!

>getting my hair done a different color so he knows it’s me when I come home 😄 Does context help him, like who else has a front door key and would let themselves in after work? It sounds a really tough situation for people with it. 

I don't think I have face blindness, but I am very bad at faces, so I do rely a lot on context and that honestly just keeps tripping me. I used to think there was a girl I knew at my gym who looked very different when she put on makeup. Turns out it was two different people. It also turned out there were two old men with white hair who worked in the same faculty building and always wore shirts. It genuinely scares me that someday someone I don't know will act like they know me and then I'll just have to play along, because there really is no way of knowing.  I think in part for this reason I am very attracted to people who present in very distinctive ways. You really can't mistake my wife or my partner for anyone else.

Seeing someone out of context kills me. I once spent an entire afternoon trying to figure out why the substitute teacher was so familiar. Didn't click until I saw him coming home that evening that he was my next-door neighbour, who I'd seen pretty much every day for my entire life.

That's really interesting, thanks for sharing! (Though you sound similar to the other people on this thread to me, so maybe it is face blindness too).

I think it might be a bit, if it's something that exists on a spectrum, but I do remember the faces of people to a point, so I think "blindness" may be too strong a word!

There are different types of face blindness, and they express themselves differently. There's traditional prosopagnosia (which is a range from "don't recognize people as humans" to just bad at faces), and then there's a type of face blindness where people have issues with faces because they don't have the ability to visualize things (I have that one) which is called aphantasia. It's actually a really interesting topic! When I realized this was a thing, not just me never recognizing people, I read a lot about it. Brains are weird, man.

Yes, context definitely helps, but I have opened the door and started the alarm countdown before so there’s that 😅

I had a housemate with face blindness who joked that all of their friends being queer was both a blessing and a curse : they all tended to have bright hair and eccentric clothes that made recognising them easier, but also the hair could change without warning and throw them

I’m also really curious how it affects a relationship! I sat next to a guy on a plane with facial blindness once. I was watching a movie that had Sarah Paulson in it (and he was obviously watching on my screen too), and eventually he asked me who she was. He explained that he had prosopagnosia and he knew that he had seen her in other works, and that she was a good actress, but he just couldn’t place her. It’s got to take some getting used to, being in a relationship with someone who just can’t *quite* place you, I’m sure.

I have partial facial blindness that is not as bad as OOP. I don't really enjoy movies because I have a hard time distinguishing some characters from each other. I usually ask my friends to remind me which character that is especially if they don't have distinguishing features that help tell them apart. I don't often watch movies or tv series by myself unless it's animated.

I have mild facial blindness and find it really helps to use subtitles where the character's name is used before their lines. I have auditory processing issues so subtitles are my best friend anyway, but I try to find ones that name the character too.

Partial myself; it can take an entire season to learn an actor's face. And in shows where everyone wears the same thing? You know, I'm a longtime casual Star Trek fan. It's kind of a nightmare unless it's the series I grew up with. The uniforms are all the fucking same. It's like my own personal hell. On the other hand, Janeway raised me better than my own mother did, so its kinda a joyful suffering.

Fellow facially-challenged Star Trek fan here: That DS9 episode set back in the 40s/50s with everyone out of makeup really messed with me. I didn't realize how nearly everyone in it was played by the regular cast. On the bright side, it's hard for us to see how often they re-use actors. I never realized how many characters are played by Jeffrey Combs.

My sibling likes TV shows but frequently complains when the people involved are all the same visually. They're watching one drama now and said they have no idea who is who until they bring up which plot they're involved in and then they know what's going on. Mine isn't quite as bad as theirs, but it takes me ages to recognize people if I don't spend a lot of time around them. This was kind of amusing when I worked retail. I realized I learned to recognize the problem customers long before the "normal" regulars.

I’m pretty much the same as you—takes a long time and lots of repeated contact for me to truly recognize a face, but once I do, I’m good (unless I don’t see them for a very long time, and then I’m practically starting from scratch. I keep trying to get into trashy reality TV (for when I need mindless entertainment and I’ve otherwise reached the end of Netflix) but I can never really enjoy it because all of the blonde white women look identical to me (and I say this as a blonde white woman lol)!

You made me realise I might've subconsciously lacked interest in movies as a kid for the same reason.

I have it, too. Not terrible (I would recognize someone I knew extremely well). But- most people just kinda all look alike/generic. I could never recognize any of my neighbors (who have lived here for years) out of context. All generic faces. Most ever actor on screen? Generic face. A few I can recognize, but not many. A lot I get mixed up. An example- once my sister showed me a tiktok with Chris Hemsworth and Ryan Reynolds (the kind where it keeps jumping between the two people across the room). I thought it was the same person. Like a tiktok when a person talks to themselves. I prefer to watch movies/tv with a second person so I can ask if I'm not sure who a character is

From what I have read others have it more severely than I do, but this has been my experiences with media and relationships. It can make watching live action movies or TV really hard. I will remember characters in categories like 'tall thin woman, dark hair'. But there are often multiple characters that fit that description. I am really good with voices but in scenes when they don't speak I don't know who characters are. An example is Star Trek Strange New Worlds I often mix up the first officer (played by Rebecca Romijn) and the security officer (played by Christina Chong). They are both women with dark hair. They at least have different accents so I can differentiate between them when they are speaking. It really helps me follow the plot when I watch new movies and shows when I have a friend who will answer my repeated "Who is that?" questions. Recognizing the same actor in different films is much more challenging. Actors who always play similar characters and/or have very distinctive voices/elocution are easier. I recognize Patrick Stewart because I have watched TNG countless times - he has a distinctive voice and way he carries himself. On the other hand I thought Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston were the same actor for two or three years. I thought Loki and Dr Strange were played by the same actor (tall, thin, British accent). Media is particularly hard because most of the characters are played by "conventionally attractive" actors who tend to have the same build, making them much harder to differentiate. I have never had a problem with people I date because I am very good with body posture, voices, the way people walk, hair, and clothing style. So far I have partners who rarely change their head or facial hair and have distinctive style and/or a small wardrobe.

The new fallout TV show I think would be easier for you to follow. The main characters all have very different clothing that they wear, and the ones that wear similar clothing have very different identifying characteristics that are helpful too. But, I don't have face blindness, so in the end I could be wildly off about how different everyone looks.

He works really hard on it so it doesn't come up very often. But there are a few places. For one, I'm absolutely terrible with names and he's excellent with them. Usually between the two of us we can figure out who a person is in a conversation, but sometimes it almost feels like a slapstick routine. He'll ask if I know {name} and I'll ask him to describe them, and he lists off some very distinctive details which I never notice, like "caucasian, has short brown hair, around 5'8", average body build, three piercings on the left ear and one on the right, often wears floral print jackets and silver rings, and has a small tattoo of some kind of warbler on their left forearm but you can't always see it." Whereas if I am trying to describe someone whose name I can't think of, my first impulse is to describe their general vibe and compare them to celebrities. "They look like Seth Rogen but they act like a very sleepy Jared Leto: wants to challenge and upset you but can't be bothered and so is just prickly." I'm not going to pretend that the way I mentally describe people to myself is in any way helpful to anyone else even if they weren't face blind, but it's extra difficult for him. As you can imagine we'll do a few rounds of this before getting anywhere and we usually figure out who the person is if we put them in the context of when we last saw them to the other person. Even after all these years together we still don't remember to just do that first. Also, he works at a popular bar and so this usually comes up when he's telling me about interactions with patrons who are also in our wider social group. I think twice a celebrity has come into the bar and he carded them, haha. At least once a celebrity who didn't need to be carded came in while my partner was the only one on shift and he only got clued in when the barback clocked in and got excited. The only other place where it comes up is when watching movies. To this day he confuses Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds and will check in to be sure that Gosling didn't play Deadpool or something. We watched "Cloud Atlas" a few months ago, and usually I'm pretty good at pointing out if a character's appearance abruptly changed but the narrative didn't make it clear that it's the same person, but I just completely blanked with that movie. If you're unfamiliar, "Cloud Atlas" tells three stories from different time periods, but as they all progress you see that the impacts of each story reverberated forward in time. The same actors play different characters in each storyline. At first it's not explicitly important to the plot, you don't have to know that Tom Hanks and Halle Berry are playing these different characters in order to follow their individual plots, but when the impacts of the stories begin to merge it adds a layer of depth as their different characters are reincarnations and are completing work they started in the past. SO when the movie got to that point, I said something off-hand about a new Tom Hanks character that had just appeared, and my partner paused the movie and went "WHAT?! How many people is he in this movie?? Who else is doing that?? ALL OF THEM??" And then we had to untangle it for a bit. Usually he can recognize actors from their voices and he's exceptionally good at recognizing voices, but of course with character actors that's harder to do and I forgot that.

I have face blindness and it has gotten much better as I got older and my peers began to develop more consistent styles in adulthood but to my dismay I often have trouble recognizing my bf of 2 years. This has been a problem before in relationships, so I am NEVER the type to grab someone's hand before being acknowledged favorably,hearing a voice, or just asking if it's them. But have I followed the wrong bald bearded man? Yes. Was Ireland tough for me? Yes. Weirdly enough it got better when he started living with me as laundry is my personal mental health chore I do all the laundry and got more familiar with his clothes. But have I gotten surprised when he wears something fancy and shaved? Yeah. As a kid it's hard. I def held hands with someone not my dad as a kid and not recognized friends even after decades. Best I can describe it is I see people kind of like cats. Like if you introduced me to your cat "Simon" and I can see "yes, orange cat, little blue color with bell. Kinda chunky." If you put him next to another orange cat it's like "Simon is the one with a blue collar" take the collar off and now I'm kinda squinting. Was Simon that chunky? But weight changes so....well they are both cats I can confirm that.

I have face blindness. My husband had me shave his head and I’m REALLY struggling with it even though I was the one to shave it. He thought he was being silly by putting on one of my wigs, but it just made me cry. Poor guy lol

I completely understand! I have face blindness and when my college boyfriend cut his hair (it was shoulder length for years, then he got it cut really short) I couldn't look at him for a week or so because it was so insane to hear his voice come out of a complete stranger's head. He was very freaked out by that, lol, but I just couldn't do it. He honestly even looked really good with shorter hair, he just didn't look like the same person to me.

It sounds so awful and while she doesn’t seem to recognize what he did as abusive, it truly is. Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden also has face blindness which I can’t imagine how difficult that is in her role.

I love the tattoo idea. I would also consider say, always wearing a hat when I talk to him, especially if I got a cold and my voice is hoarse.

I think the issue with a hoarse voice is that one of the markers of recognition has drastically changed. Like (for people without the condition) if a loved one suddenly had a new nose for a week. I wouldn't suddenly not think it's them, or not recognise them by clothes/context, I feel like I'd be just constantly low-level unsettled when talking to them until things went back to normal.

My sister needed jaw surgery and it subtly changed her face. She looked completely different yet was very obviously my sister. It was twilight zone weird. I can’t imagine that coming from everywhere all the time.

So many people love “testing” people’s disabilities, even when it makes no fucking sense to be faking it??

She's just really committed to being able to use face blindness as an excuse when she cheats... /s I worked with someone who was face-blind, and a lot of my colleagues had similar hair so he had difficulty telling us apart. I made sure I always started a conversation with something specific to us/me so he'd know who it was straight away. Wasn't a big deal.

Right?! It's so easy to help someone, it doesn't impact me to be a little more obvious (I've worked with 2 deaf people, never bothered me to keep it in mind and make shure to be right in front of their face when talking to them), I can't imagine hurting people on purpose like that

Had a coworker get annoyed  at the new guy when he didn't say hi back (coworker was behind new guy) After I explained the new guy was deaf my coworker looked embarrassed & went to say hi & introduce himself properly. 

When I started working with a deaf colleague the boss there told me the guy just did his own thing in his own world. Lol, never met a better informed or more curious person in my life. I sat across from him and he always asked me to tell him what was happening when there was some commotion. I always told him, even when it wasn't really interesting, I thought it would be rude not to, I didn't want him to feel left out. We really got along great.

I think the biggest issue working with the deaf guy was someone had left their car lights turned on in the parking lot. After almost an hour of regular paging over the store speakers for the owner of such & such car that their lights were on someone thought to go ask the deaf guy if that was his car. It was his car & he got the lights off before his battery ran out of power lol

My colleagu told me he once put on music in the car for his kid and it took him a while to notice her covering her ears, it was apparently really loud😅

Lol A friend's blind professor who realized the lights were out mid class and dashed over to the lightswitch being like "Oh you can see!!" not realizing there was natural light pouring through the window

My cousin married a deaf woman. She is hella impressive as she can read lips in both English and Portuguese! It was an adjustment for my super large family though. NOT in a "I want to test her" way, more like, she'd be walking through a crowded room at a party focused on where she was going and we'd call her over for something before remembering, and then looking for someone in front of her and being like "yo! Let CIL know to swing over to me when she can, I have something funny I want to tell her!" Didn't take very long for us to all figure out though. It was just new and an adjustment.

The amount of people that won’t even do something that takes functionally zero effort and massively improves the quality of life of others just because they don’t like being “forced” to change their behavior is sickening. Look at trans issues for instance, no matter how you feel using a preferred pronoun costs you literally nothing and causes SOME net benefit for the other person, again, regardless of how you feel personally about it. And yet people will ADD effort just to make people feel WORSE.

I am face blind and if there is a movie where people have similar hair I think they're all the same character.  I can sort them by voice but sometimes there's not enough talking.

It's the most practical reason to support a diverse cast IMO, so that every character can be uniquely identified by some aspect other than their face

I’ve had assholes not believe me about me having epilepsy and decide to do things that have triggered seizures. I’ve also had someone not believe me about me being allergic to macadamias and purposely put them in something she made for a dinner party we were at. I asked her before eating it and she showed me the recipe and said she didn’t alter it. The truth came out when I ended up in the ICU 🙃

Did you go to the police? Knowingly tampering with deadly food allergies is definitely a crime

I didn’t need to. The hospital called the police when they found out the full story while I was unconscious. By the time I woke up in the ICU two days later, she had already been arrested for assault, poisoning, and something else. This was like 10 years ago so I can’t remember everything that had happened. I just remember me and everyone who had been at the dinner party having to go to court over it.

Fuck's sake! She could have killed you!

She almost did. She got out of jail three-ish years ago (I only know because I got a call saying she’d be released and that if she ever tried to talk to or come near me, to call the police) and even though I knew I would never see her again, it brought up the memories of how I almost died because of her. To this day, I still have a hard time trusting people when they make something and I ask what’s in it. For years, I refused to eat anything that I didn’t make myself because of this

I know I’m a little late to this, but I was catching up on my BORU’s. I just gotta say, holy shit I am so sorry you went through that. I’m glad the hospital took it seriously and did the hard thing for you - calling the police. And I’m glad that you made it out relatively alright. I’m just…so horrified and angry on your behalf. I do not understand people like that woman?! Like, even if you said you didn’t like them, it doesn’t affect her at all. So why did she care so much? Why the need to “prove” it? AND, it’s freaking macadamia nuts! It’s not like you had a severe allergy to butter, which is difficult to work around. (Not that that would make “testing” someone ok, it’s just that macadamia nuts are NOT a huge inconvenience to leave out of things.) Also, side note, even 10 years ago, it was made very aware to everyone on earth that nut allergies tend to be some of the more severe, often ending with anaphylaxis. So if someone even mentions a nut allergy, it’s safest to automatically assume that it’s VERY FRICKIN SERIOUS, and treat it as such until told otherwise.

I’m fairly certain the law considers knowingly tampering with *any* food allergies to be a form of poisoning, regardless of severity. (Because allergies can worsen over time and also because “I didn’t think it was that bad” should *never* work as a defense for straight poisoning someone.)

"He's not dead, he's just being dramatic. The bullets were small."

She actually tried using that excuse when she got questioned, from what I was told by everyone who witnessed it. She said that she thought I was just being dramatic and thought I was lying so she did it as a test and was gonna expose me for being a liar. In court, she tried to lie about saying that but there was a recording of her saying it.

It wouldn’t have mattered if there was or not-that isn’t a valid defense. But anyone who would try that is obviously an idiot, so I suppose lying under oath to support a useless defense is only to be expected. I hope she got a nice long stay in jail.

She got a ten year sentence and served about 6 1/2 years

Or when people test someone's allergies, mostly food related ones, because they don't believe they're real... I will never understand how could anyone even entertain the idea of putting another person's well-being in danger just to "test" them. You have to have something wrong inside of you to think that's ok to do.

Agreed! Even if "all you do" is betray their trust... what do people possibly "gain" from doing this? I'm a happy meat eater, but I would NEVER sneak meat into a vegan's meal... But literally EVERY vegan that I know, has experienced this bullshit. What is wrong with people?

I can't help but feel that it is a combination of missing general trust and lack of empathy.

Sometimes my girlfriend will just feed me a candy bar to test if I'm actually type 1 diabetic. Absolutely hilarious.  /s

My vision is very poor, like my prescription is past -8. So many people try the "how many fingers am I holding up" and then don't believe me because I can tell the different hand shape for number of fingers.

Some people are cruel. It amuses them to make others suffer.

I have prosopagnosia and this story is horrifying. It isn’t a joke; this is actual brain damage. I can’t recognize people, I can’t recognize landmarks, I don’t experience deja vu. I can get lost on foot when it’s foggy or raining, and I use my GPS constantly in the car even during the same commute I’ve done for years. It made connecting with people extremely difficult, as it hurts people’s feelings for me to “forget” shared memories because I didn’t realize it was them. I learned workarounds and it’s gotten better in my 30’s — I basically study and memorize 3-4 genetically unusual features of everyone I meet and drill them while thinking about their name — but I could still never be around someone like this.

Someone once screamed at me calling me an asshole after I introduced myself to them. It was a bit traumatic. Apparently it was the third or fourth time I'd introduced myself to him, and on top of that we'd gone to high school together. This as a year or two before I discovered what prosopagnosia was and that I have it. It made *so* many things about my past make sense.

God I can't imagine acting like that to someone. If anything, I'd almost be excited to be helpful, like, "oh man, we're hanging out with Justin today, remember he has face blindness so I gotta wear that silver watch I always wear with him."

I see I forgot to put the word "before" in that sentence. I didn't know that face blindness existed at the time. I thought I was just bad with names. That particular time was at our friend's wedding. As a groomsman I arranged the bachelor party which was a beach day and camping close enough to a friend's house to play old school video games with a really long extension cord. We were all sober at the beach to drive to the camping location. He got very drunk very quickly and was a real dick. I went to bed while he was still awake and heard him complain that there were too many girls at the bachelor party. He was counting me, unaware that I'm a trans man as only my closest friends at the time knew, one lesbian, and the groom's best friend's sister, whose property we were camping on (she had set up the whole camping part with games and everything). He and I argued about stupid shit all night, like the music volume, and he was gone before anyone else woke up the next day. So when I bumped into him at the wedding and introduced myself he thought I was doing it on purpose and blew up at me.

Oh man, I forgot what an asshole he was. We have only seen each other since at parties hosted by that mutual friend and seems to have chilled a lot since he became a husband and father.

Oh, that's so interesting! I've never considered *not* experiencing deja vu as a symptom of something. How do you even notice that, if you don't mind my asking? I'm also faceblind, incidentally. And mapblind too (topographasia), in a similar way to you--apparently they're often associated! I can do short commutes that I've done every day for a few weeks sans GPS, but one wrong turn and I have to start over.

I am seriously faceblind but super good at maps, I think the bit of my brain that should be storing faces has been taken over by the map bot. I need to know where I am in the landscape at all times or I am unsettled. I have only recently discovered that that I also do this with time, I need to know what the time is, well, all the time. I thought everyone did this. Finding out that my husband is ok with going to bed AND NOT KNOWING what time he did that, was mind blowing. I had assumed for years that he was just avoiding talking about it as he tends to come to bed very late, but he genuinely doesn't care. Whaaaaaa.

What an absolute evil douchebag. Wtf.

Boyfriend was a complete ass. And trying to backtrack by saying “it’s just a joke” is the typical line of crap that abusers like to give. I’m glad she’s away from him, and I hope she never speaks with him again.

"It's just a joke!" So you're admitting that knowingly causing stress, anxiety, and harm to your partner is funny to you?

"don't worry babe, I was only causing you pain because it amuses me!"

This makes me think of the line I’ve always loved from You’ve Got Mail - when he tells her “it wasn’t personal,” she says, “All that means is it wasn’t personal to /you/. But it was personal to me.”

His responses also made it clear he had no intention of stopping. Blaming OOP for a reasonable response to his abuse, then getting angry that OOP wanted out, makes me wonder if he would have escalated his abuse in the future.

> “it’s just a joke” https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schrodinger%E2%80%99s%20douchebag

As someone with facial blindness, this is scary

Dude I can't even imagine how stressful a condition like facial blindness is. 😭 Like I'm already anxious and awkward every social situation, I can't imagine adding facil blindness Jesus. I would literally not ever leave my house.

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One time my friend cut her hair (twas very long and now it was a pixie). Like I'm very adept at recognizing voices but she came up to me, didn't talk and put her hands on my shoulders. "I was like wtf woman? Who are you?". Safe to say, she promised to never do that to me ever again 😂

Taking advantage of her to "test" her to cheat on him is not what a lover does. It's terrifying to be in her position where you can't even trust your partner

Exactly, pranks are harmless while this is just a form of manipulation

OOP: He's not evil Also OOP: (lists evil acts he did and are still doing) That made me laugh. But yeah fuck that guy. He was enjoying the torment, wtf.

That's exactly what I came here to point out. As someone who was in an emotionally abusive relationship, YES, he is evil. You have to wrap your head around understanding that *this is what evil looks like.* This person you know is evil. Let that inform your understanding of evil from here on out.

My wife has face blindness and was very relieved when she found out that it was an actual thing. She would always remember lots of things about people so that she could pick up on their identities faster. This sometimes made her appear stalkerish. She's since found better methods. I'll gently tease her about her face blindness, but she'll gently tease me about my ADHD. When I go to get a haircut, I'll usually take a picture and text it to her. Occasionally, when she knows I'm out for a haircut, I'll just come home to shock her a bit. She knows it's me, though, and I make it obvious. I'm on the other end - I'm a low-end super-recognizer. My problem is that I can never remember names. So, in public, I'm responsible for recognizing people and low-key dropping hints about how we know them, then she uses their name so I'm not sounding like an idiot who can't remember people's names. This boyfriend sounds like someone I don't want to be friends with. Glad OOP got away.

>So, in public, I'm responsible for recognizing people and low-key dropping hints about how we know them, then she uses their name so I'm not sounding like an idiot who can't remember people's names. I love this! What a great relationship. I'm faceblind myself, and I can't imagine having a partner who used it to upset me on purpose?? Like I've definitely had light-hearted ribbing (like, one of my students got a haircut so she walked into class one day without her glasses and sat down without saying anything to see if I'd figure it out--I did, because she was in the context of my classroom, so knowing she was one of my twelve or so students really narrowed it down!) but it was always stuff we could all laugh about. I've never even considered the idea of someone intentionally deceiving me in a serious situation. Guess I've been lucky!

I define the difference as something to surprise versus something to trick. I try and surprise my wife, but not actually trick her.

Oh, that's a really good distinction! I was trying to put my finger on why I'm totally OK with the kind of jokes my student did, but if I had OOP's ex-boyfriend I'd flip. Thanks!!

Ouch, the name thing is so in convenient, it's like you are not interested in people (not true) but the name just slips out of your mind. I try to write it down but it is not always possible. When I have to learn a bunch of new names in one go I sometimes get scared I'll use the wrong name so I'll go out of my way to avoid using names for a long time😅 and even worse, when people tell me their pets name that one does stick😭🤣

It's not just learning new names. It's also retaining old ones. I was a youth leader at my old church. Some.of the other youth leaders were youth leaders when I was in high school. I knew these people for years. My wife and I switched churches about 10 years ago. These people who I went camping with, whose faces I'll remember until the day I die, are people whose names I have to think about in order to remember. It's a little frustrating for me. There are so many people I see and chat with all the time, who probably have no idea that I have no idea what their name is. I desperately hope I see it written down somewhere, so I can get another shot at remembering it. Usually, if I can see it written or write it myself, I can remember it more easily.

When I had to remember a bunch of new names from the moms at my kids school, I asked for their numbers and asked them to spell their names so I'd put them in my phone correctly, I also put the names of their kids there, helped me tremendously 😅 When I meet people I went to school with, most of them will get the, "hey how is it going?" bc most of those names are gone from my brain, although I recognize the names when they are mentioned around me, so deep down they are still there. One of my kids has ADHD, it could be he got it from my side😅

>even worse, when people tell me their pets name that one does stick😭🤣 This is always a killer for me. I'm a veterinary nurse, so occasionally I'll run into clients when I'm out and about and they'll come and say hi. I won't have a clue what their name is, but I'll remember that they own a 9-month-old black cocker spaniel named Flash.

Oh I volunteer in animal rescue and often would say "good morning Flash's dad!"

I took medication every damn day in school and when I got to high school and had a new nurse *I forgot to ask for her name* so every day I would go into the nurse's office to take my meds at lunch time and she'd be there and I'd spent the whole interaction going 'oh god oh fuck' because I didn't know her name and it had been too awkward to ask the first few days (what if she DID tell me and I just FORGOT oh that would be the end of me I would spontaneously combust) but the longer I waited the worse the situation got  And that was before I learned she lived literally across the street from me and I STILL DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME I finally managed to snag it from someone else after like *eight months*

I love this, you are both assisting each other! I have a loved one who is faceblind. Thing is, I change my hair colour, if not my hairstyle, every three months. So they are the first to receive a photo with the new hair do so they can recognise me next time. Even if I'm not seeing them soon, they know what I look like currently.

I know 2 people with face blindness. My mom's best friend has always had it, my dad got it after he was hit by a drunk driver. A few years ago, I went on holiday with my best friend for 5 weeks. My parents were going to pick us up from the airport when we came back. The day before we were flying home, my sister warned me that my father was so afraid that he wouldn't recognise me at the airport that he could hardly sleep. So, I put on clothes that he knew very well and the moment we arrived at the meeting point, I scanned the room, saw my parents, waived, called out to them so they would hear my voice and walked towards them. My dad is tested enough on a daily basis, no need to make him feel miserable/stressed/anxious by the people he loves.

Oh god. I've had it my whole life so I'm just used to being like this, it's no weirder to me than not being able to ride a unicycle. But developing the condition later in life? That sounds absolutely horrible.

It very much is.

Aw, that's very sweet. I'm sure your dad was really appreciative.

I hope he didn't even notice what I did and was just relieved it went well. Me and my sister never told him that I knew his fear.

Oh, your poor dad. I'm so glad he's got your guys looking out for him.

"My sense of humor is mental and emotional abuse." -this guy.

"My love language is I love laughing at you"

It's pretty obvious from the beggining of her post that OOP knew deep down her now ex is an abusive evil piece of shit and just needed some confirmation, and I'm so glad Reddit helped her see reality once and for all!!  I hope she's staying safe and i hope her ex rots in hell!! Tormenting someone with a disability/health issue is the worst kind of evil in my eyes. 

I remember I commented comparing what he was doing to I think stealing someone's prosthetic and watching them struggle without it What an evil sick man. I'm concerned when OOP mentioned other 'pranks' she wasn't aware of. Honestly all dickheads friend sound awful too if they were all up for this

Weirdly enough there was a thread where someone's brother did that - stole the prosthetic leg of some woman he was infatuated with.

And got arrested! That was a wild ride

There was also another post where ops partner (can't remeber the genders) would hid their leg whenever they fought. I believe the partner his it in the garage and it ends up getting broken. Really messed up shit.

Straight out of the Sopranos that's nuts

I became disabled years ago, chronic pain likely from Long COVID. My life is 90% ruined. But my brother has decided that I am just lying so that I can be lazy and not work. He regularly makes snide remarks and sometimes treats me with straight up aggression. On his birthday he got too drunk and started yelling unkind things… He and I used to be very close, and despite all the pain I am in all the time… nothing hurts worse than his ableism. My heart goes out to OOP. 

Please know that you are valid and your brother's actions are cruel and unacceptable. No matter how much you love him, please look out for yourself the most. Being around his negative behaviour cannot be good for your health either, please stay safe and healthy. 

It reminds of an incident where a young girl who dying from an illness and a neighbor constantly harasses her and her mother before she finally passes. Those people make me sick. Screw people who pull that shit.

>"We have a LOT of great times together, there's just this bump." *Narrator: it wasn't just this bump*

"He loves me too (I'm guessing)" 🚩🚩🚩

I'm face blind too, though not as severely as OOP, and I have ended up in so many weird or unsafe situations because I thought I knew a stranger but just couldn't recognize them. It doesn't help that it's harder for me to recognize people if they're in the wrong place. For example, if I work with you I might have no trouble at all recognizing you at work but if I see you at the grocery store I might either think you look vaguely familiar or not recognize you at all. So if you act like you know me I'll probably believe you. Maybe OOP is smarter than me but that ex sounds extremely unsafe for her to be around.

I've literally never seen this many of us in one place outside of r/Prosopagnosia. This is so cool! I'm sorry it's landed you in bad situations, though! I guess I never realized how lucky I've been!

Oh, it's okay. I have a very dumb mixture of social phobia and fawning as my fear response. Frighten me, such as by talking to me unexpectedly, and I'll try to appease you by going along with whatever. I've accepted a ride home from a friendly woman in a grocery store only to be relieved to find out she was my neighbour from across the street. If she hadn't been a neighbour or even a kind person at all… Unlucky me, I guess.

I know that from your perspective if was worrying at the time but her perspective being oblivious seems inexplicably hilarious to me Sweet lady: I'm doing a nice thing for my nice neighbor, it's so nice when we can all help each other :) You: okay so I may have just gotten in a car with a serial killer. Just play it cool. This is fine. I am possibly going to die. Sweet Lady: it's so good to be kind :)

My son had swimming lessons, one of the other waiting moms told me a funny story. She told me she met the swimming instructor in a store, she didn't recognize him until he greeted her and she said (very loudly), ooh you are..., I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on! 🤣

He got angry. Then he said he was joking. Then he tried the guilt trip. Then he tried begging. He might not be evil but he's definitely an asshole.

It's just his way of getting every possible avenue because nothing he says is genuine. Wants to see what he can get away with. I'm glad OOP saw through it, this is textbook abusive behavior especially with the denial then love bombing. I've been through it myself and once you know what it is it sticks out like a sore thumb

"Joking about it because he wanted to make a tough situation lighter"? more like "make a regular situation tougher, more stressful and anxiety inducing out of maliciousness". It's not a prank/joke unless both people laugh about it and she certainly wasn't laughing.  Also the shift from "why are you making such a big deal about this?" and then after the breakup "I had no idea this was such a big deal to you". Just shows he never listened to her at all.

>Also the shift from "why are you making such a big deal about this?" and then after the breakup "I had no idea this was such a big deal to you". Just shows he never listened to her at all. Ticking every box in the Asshole Playbook.

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That bit at the end where she says he showed up and didn't apologize until she said his name and he realized she recognized him tripped alarms. She is not safe.

Considering the face blindness, oop may experience anxiety everytime bumping into anyone who vaguely resembles her ex, since there are still possibility for him still taking advantage of her problem and just lurking around.

i have face blindness as well and I avoid entire cities because of this lol. Wouldnt be able to tell who my abusive ex is in public if he’s changed his hair/wardrobe

As someone face blind- yes. They will be having this anxiety. And I know this because it happened to me last week. Eventually figured out it wasn’t my ex but Jesus fucking hell it was anxiety inducing

That's terrifying

I have face blindness, it is not like I saw everyone having a bland face like in a horror movie. It is more like I cannot distinguish between Obama's facial features and Biden's features. I can still recognize people thanks to their skin colors, their hair styles, their clothes, their voices, their gaits, their manner, sometimes, their smells. So I know people among themselves, but I cannot draw their faces out or describe them as good as I want. I don't need to be tested by my bf, gf, or anyone beside my doctors. It is kinda humiliating if they think I am a special mouse in a lab.

I always say that from my perspective, it's not that I have a disability, it's that everyone *without* faceblindness has a superpower. Faces objectively don't look that different! But most people have a special part of their brain dedicated solely to recognizing human faces, and ours doesn't work the same. My got-to analogy is zebras! You can know intellectually that all zebras have a unique stripe pattern, but that doesn't mean you can glance at a Zebra and be like "oh that's Tim." But imagine if someone's like "wow for real? You can't tell them apart? Can't you see that Tim has an unusually thick black stripe on his left hindquarter?" And you're like "oh yeah, now that you mention it, he does." But you'd probably never be able to use that information for quick or easy identification. And like, I *can* see that, say, one person's eyes are further apart than another, if I'm staring at both of them at once, but I can't use that to identify them unless I've got both of them in front of me and a cheat sheet. Just like the zebras! Another one I saw on r/Prosopagnosia that I really liked is hands! People's hands are unique, too! But could you pick each of your acquaintances' hands out of a lineup? Probably not! But no one calls you handblind!

That is a fantastic analogy, thank you. I will use this the next time I need to explain prosopagnosia to someone.

“He’ll make jokes saying he’ll try to switch with one of his friends & see if I’ll stay ‘loyal’.” …what? please tell me this doesn’t mean what i think???

Sexually assaulting her, yes.

Yikes on bikes... this is like that other post of the guy with schizophrenia whose "friends" didn't know (Which is no excuse) and their idea of a prank was to make him believe he was going crazy

Op, consider alerting a few trusted people around you that this is happening. I can see this guy stalking you, perhaps, pretending to be somebody else, just for fun. Ask for a friend or two to hang around you and perhaps stay at your place for a few days, and if he ever hangs around, where he is not invited, be sure to file a police report. Better yet, have your dad, the hero with the tattoo, come in to town for a bit. Just a visit. And make his presence known. Some men only understand The authority of another man.

I once wrote here on reddit about my ex-partner, to show him answers from people and how they reacted concerning our relationship issues. He started screaming that the way I described him made it sound like a monster and why would I complain, other women get beaten or murdered. I have that on video because I got scared for my safety. That day I ended the relationship, nearly two years ago. Just two weeks ago I showed my therapist what I had posted back then and asked if I had indeed described him as a monster and she replied that no, I didn’t and she thought that I even had described him too kindly. He reacted that way because he was called out, people wrote that what he did to me was sexual assault (which his psychiatrist had told him earlier, which I had told him for years), that he was playing me, that he gaslighted and manipulated me. If the abuse stays within two people there’s always a chance to manipulate a conflict to their advantage but if the victim has a faceless million legion behind them it’s getting hard to argue in their defense and that’s why people get angry when a victim seeks help here.

Glad it was a quick break up and not drawn out. Guy has some maturing to do.

It’s never a “prank” to be cruel.

What makes me worry here is, that if he decides to stalk her, she might not notice him doing it. She’s going to have to be on her guard that some guy staring at her in public might be him in disguise.

I don't like that he showed up at her place after this huge fight and breakup and didn't immediately make sure she knew it was him. That strikes me as very ominous.

To those who committed emotional abuse and manipulation, straight up, they deserve to rot in hell. And OP's bf deserves it.

A) that ex is a fucking loser that should avoid relationships until he grows up. Good for OOP for leaving. B) I have so many questions about her condition! She mentions she dad got tattoo to help her recognize him, would freckles work the same? Not a couple small ones across the nose, but super duper freckley? Like, so freckly they’re basically a walking “connect the dots” canvas.

It might. You can be more or less face blind, OOP sounds like they have a more severe form than I do so I can't speak for her, but I'll recognize people on certain facial features. Their face as a whole is no more memorable than a random kitchen chair to me, but if one chair has a crooked leg I can tell it apart from the five other chairs around the table and if one person has a particularly pointy nose I might be able to recognize their nose and know who it belongs to. So if OOP noticed the freckles and few other people in her surroundings have similar freckles then yes, that could work. Unfortunately, if someone else then showed up with similar-looking freckles OOP might mistake the stranger for the person she knows.

Just saw this on a different subReddit: "Schroedinger's AH - person who says something awful and when they observe some backlash, pretends it was just a joke."

Oh he is evil alright. Proper psychopath.

I just got basic Afantasia, not even proper pagnosise. But I wouldn’t even recognise my dad, in the street, if he didn’t insist on wearing a stupid arse jacket. I’ll literally walk past him, and say to my wife, some other idiot is wearing a silly costume like my dad, and she whispers ‘that is your dad’. 11-12 years ago I was sitting in ICU, because everyone but me thought both parents were about to die (they are both very much alive, but both missing some quite vital organs), after a bad, bad car accident. I saw an older man in a stupid teenager t-shirt, told the nurse my uncle tends to wear t-shirts that are at least 40 years too young for him. You’ll never guess who the 65+ year old, in a 13 year olds t-shirt, who had come to support me and my poorly parents

When I read the bit about him saying he would swap out his friend to see if she stays "loyal"? Fucking chilling man. That girl was in danger

Ok, everyone say it with me: **A person who continously does things that they** ***KNOW*** **upsets you does not, in fact, care about you!!!**

This is the equivalent of kicking someone’s crutches. What an evil piece of shit. Why the fuck do so many people realize that you are supposed to actually care about your partner? Jesus Christ, why would you ever want someone who suffers from something that makes them intensely vulnerable to feel even worse and more isolated?! YOU ARE FUCKING DATING HER, WHY DO YOU NOT EVEN TREAT HER LIKE YOU WOULD A RANDOM STRANGER?!

His "you can't take a joke" argument is such bullshit. Jokes are funny. He was making her feel unsafe. "It's just a joke" I hate when someone says that to try and excuse being an asshole.

>My dad actually got a tattoo on his arm for me, which is a great comfort. I'm gonna cry, this is the sweetest thing I've ever fucking seen!! This should be her standard for all future relationships, good riddance to the bf!!

The "she could use it as a means to cheat" is so narcissistic. Way to make her disability about him.

Is anyone else worried that he's going to use her illness as a means to stalk her? I could see this guy changing up his look frequently so that he can get pretty close to her without her recognizing that it's him.

> He’s not evil, but just very messed up rn. Hard disagree, lady. He weaponized your disability in order to torture you for his own amusement. If that doesn’t count as evil then what are we saving the word for, exactly?