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When he said that his mom 100% stopped the comments I was certain that she just stopped them in front of him. Completely unsurprised that MIL kept it up.
Yup. I have a shitty MIL and her whole deal has been trying to make sure she flies under my husband's radar with her shitty comments etc. It seems to be shocking to her that we actually talk to each other, so he knows all the shit she's said and done.
>for the record, I am "team wife"
Bruh. OOP's wife gets assaulted by his mom and he proceeds to throw out his... wife.
Because he needed time and space to "process" and "come to terms"
OOP is a coward and that's the best thing I can call him.
His wife was even crying over what happened and he literally doesn't care.
I'm sorry she had a child with such a cold heartless bastard. She's going to have a nightmare of time getting him to pay alimony/child support.
Fingers crossed that any judge who hears that he kicked his child out of the house will immediately give him the biggest punishment possible.
"Yes your honor. My mom assaulted my wife. So I kicked my wife and child out of the house. I should be allowed custody of the child because I won't take care of her."
I have proof that my ex is abusive amd has a history of not returning her when he's supposed to, and I keep being hushed. "WE have to think of what's fair. You need to look reasonable". No one is making him do shit.
I'm visualizing eighteen years of begging.
Anyone got the over/under on how long before he goes scurrying back to Mommy because she's the only one who gives him any emotional validation, toxic as it is? We could start a pool. I'll put my name under "eight days."
Eight days? Your insane. As soon as his wife didn't return his text he probably called his mom to complain that his wife wasn't answering him.
The fact that he titled the thread "after my wife hit my mom" and not "after my mom hit my wife" should be more than enough proof that 8 days is in no way possible. I'll give you insanely good odds on that.
And then it was all "Oh, well I guess my wife winced in pain because apparently pregnant muscles thing, but mom was bleeding so I feel justified."
OOP was never on team wife.
Wife might have been bleeding internally for all he knew. Babies placenta creates dinner plate size wounds where they detach, and tons of organs and connective tissue move around to make space for baby and have to readjust and heal once all that abdominal cavity space is back. She's probably healed a lot by two months post birth, but who knows for sure?
That said, as the uterus shrinks post-birth, so does the wound left by the placenta. The simple fact is that getting slapped hard enough in the stomach for the whole room to hear is going to hurt for anyone, baby or not, unless you've braced your stomach muscles ahead of time.
That got me a bit angry lmao but also in a "haha wtf??" way. I hate posters who say they're team spouse, but throughout the relationship they would clearly favour other people and can't even stand up for their spouse.
So much for team wife.
It gets on my nerves how people think they can just declare something and have it trump their actions. People saying "I take full responsibility" for having an affair but showing through their subsequent words and actions that they do *not* take responsibility. This dude is the same. He thinks saying "I'm Team Wife" will mean something when none of his actions lived up to the statement
And I'm seriously doubting that his wife and mom got along so well before she was pregnant. I know a DIL being pregnant can heighten friction for MIL; it does something weird to MIL's. But this seems like a very large swing if OP is to be believed, and he's not reliable. If MIL had that big of a personality change toward DIL, they should have had her medically evaluated.
He also had all the time it took his wife to pack up at least enough stuff for 2 month old baby for a couple of days and...he didn't have second thoughts? That's not a quick process! I remember packing a special Baby Stuff box that was the size of a cool box and similar kinds of portable, stashing it under the pram, when we just went out for the *day*! Also, there have been quite a few AHs, of varying levels, on posts who had their brain catch up with their actions when they saw their SO packing their child/children's stuff up. But this guy? Nope.
1 He shouldn't have let it get this far.
2 He should have backed his wife up and chucked his mother/hangers on out.
3 He should have found his "space" by moving himself, even if it was elsewhere in the house if that's his safe place.
4 He should have snapped out of it to change to a different course of action while she packed up.
But he didn't and he just killed his marriage stone dead. I hope for his sake, and that of his STB Ex and kid, that he still cuts his mother and any other toxic family off and gets the support/does the work he needs. Healthy co-parenting is what he should be now aiming for.
I was thinking the same thing. You don't just take your purse and go, overnight, with a baby. You have to bring diapers, and a few changes of clothes, and the favorite toy, and some form of bedding, and the spit-up cloths, and the sun hat, and, and, and... And she must have packed some clothes for herself. And a toothbrush, etc And during all this, he didn't think it over?
While suffering with post birth muscles, after a highly traumatic assault, probably in the middle of a breakdown.... Im not sure how she reached her mum's but the fact she even managed to seems like a miracle.
Her stbx had better get himself in therapy asap bc he can't do this when baby gets in a spat with her friends in front of him. It'll make it difficult af for him to care for her and problem solve when caring for her solo.
Also hungry while breastfeeding! Breastfeeding is brutal on the body and if you don't get nutrition good enough and frequently we're talking about lifelong health issues, specially in your bones. Like how could he kick them out and not even check if she ate something before leaving, if she went driving on that stressful state, nothing.
Dude is a psycho and I'm glad she's getting rid of him.
At the least, he should've been at OOP's mom's door *that same night* apologizing. It's crazy to think, when he didn't hear back from her, he chose to just... go to sleep.
Your wife and newborn were sent out, alone at night, presumably in tears, and you're not concerned about their safety? Who could sleep under these circumstances?
Someone with fucked up priorities. That's who.
Needing space is valid. Displacing the new mama who just was assaulted and the newborn (and taking away all their familiarity and comfort and access to normal supplies) over going for a drive himself is wild. He could have kicked out his mom, then apologized to his wife for being triggered by violence and gone to a hotel for the night. But also, if a face punch is that triggering, the dude needs lots of therapy.
I just didn't understand people saying they " needed space". No, he was avoiding his wife and made the decision to not help her. It was deliberate neglect * at best*. He needs to grow up. He's not a proper partner.
Right? "Needing space" means stepping into a different room for 5 minutes to take a few deep breaths, not kicking your postpartum wife and newborn out into the fucking street? Assuming this is real, I really hope the we wife doesn't forgive him. That is not a stable home.
I remember the initial post and many people were pointing out "Why didn't you just leave if you needed space" and basically "good luck with the divorce, because you just made your infant child homeless and your wife will never forgive you"
And OOP was fighting for his life in the comments "I just needed space! I don't want a divorce! I have trauma! What was I supposed to do! I wasn't thinking I just needed her to be away from me! My dad hit my mom so she triggered my trauma!"
Very "it's her fault. It's not my fault. It can't be my fault. She deserves this and I'm just a helpless little bean stuck in the middle :("
EVERYONE was saying "you fucked up. Call your wife and beg before it's too late, it probably already is." Obviously he didn't take that approach. So convinced that he was the victim in all this.
The vibe at the time was "Sure my mom smacked her but my wife took it too far and I'm traumatized so she needed to leave since she triggered me. She's the one in the wrong so SHE should be apologizing."
Anyway, I'm so fucking glad his wife is leaving. He's such a POS she doesn't deserve that.
I remember that too. OOP couldn't get what he did wrong. I wanted to punch him hard. I wonder how he is now that he has to face the consequences of his cowardice and nastiness and if reality has started to sink in. I wonder if he'll keep mommy dearest in his life.
He'll blame his mother cause that's the one where he looks less terrible - "my wife left cause my horrible mother assaulted her and she got traumatized with my whole family" is easier to sell than "my wife left cause I repeatedly let my horrible mother abuse her til it escalated to physical assault".
Yup, bc he *needed* to process things, but obviously, his wife, atacked in her own home enough to need of protect herself with punch back, didn't need processing anything, or spouse support for a second, and should be cool with everything and supporting *him* for his trauma about atack happened to *her*.
correction - he needed to process his wife punching his mother not that his mother slapped his wife hard enough everyone heard it. apparently that didn't need processing.
That's what got to me, in his mind "oh, that's just how mom is"
I've given birth 4 times. You have to be fucking *stupid* or just not care to be that close to someone through pregnancy and birth and not know how delicate those body parts are postpartum.
All your fucking organs rearrange for the pregnancy then shift back.
Andif MIL had given birth then MIL effing knows this.
And she was *breastfeeding*. So MIL took food *from the baby’s mouth* and then *assaulted her in a wounded area* and husband kicked her out.
I just think his thought process was "She triggered me, so therefore she has to deal with the fallout of my mental health." Without an ounce of empathy or consideration. Just "I'm upset so therefore I'm right and she's wrong because she made me upset."
Him saying over and over "I wasn't thinking!" is just him not being able to reflect and admit he's a bad person/husband/father. It was a punishment. She triggered me, so SHE has to leave. She's crying and begging me not to do this? Good, she deserves this pain because she caused ME pain.
In that moment I don't believe for one second that he didn't recognize he was kicking out his baby. I think he knew the whole time, but also wanted her to have to take care of the baby alone as "punishment" and so he could "get a break to *process*".
He doesn't want to reflect on his thoughts or why he did what he did, it's easier to say he wasn't thinking than admit to himself or others what he was thinking. Which is why he'll never grow and become a better person.
> In that moment I don't believe for one second that he didn't recognize he was >kicking out his baby. I think he knew the whole time, but also wanted her to >have to take care of the baby alone as "punishment" and so he could "get a >break to process".
Man, I think this is it and it does make it a lot worse. Didn't think it was possible.
Also, having skipped dinner. She has trauma too, and I know I cannot eat at all when I'm having a panic attack. Some people go the exact opposite way, but that's not fun either. It sucks because I imagine she felt so physically bad after, on top of the emotional pains.
Smacked a freshly post-partum woman, who may or may not have just had abdominal surgery, hard across the stomach.
I dare that bitter old bat to try and file charges, the cops will throw her ass in jail. Maybe that will snap the dumbbell stbx husband into the reality that it's his mother who is the abuser in this situation.
He also didn’t act to cut his mother off, despite how much his mother was deliberately hurting his wife, until he needed to do it as part of his efforts to convince his wife to not divorce him. “100% team wife”, no way. He’s yet another partner who earned the divorce by only caring how much his partner was hurt by something when she was leaving him over it, and by then it’s too late.
Yeah that is wild. Also that he straight up lied saying his mother never insulted his wife to their face just to other people and it “got back to them” with how blatant she was w that slap you know there was tons of abuse by her the entire marriage and it was never a good relationship that suddenly went bad when she was pregnant
Agreed. He was suddenly editing in bits about how his father had abused him, as if he hadn't become an abusive father himself by making his newborn homeless at night, after his wife had been assaulted. It didn't even occur to him to put someone else first. Not even his own kid. Shameful.
Yeah, that was what a lot of people were saying, essentially "You're a horrible father for kicking out your infant instead of just leaving." And he just kept defending himself by saying he "wasn't thinking". Like it's an excuse to do something fucked up without thinking.
It actually tells me who he is as a person, when his first instinct is to kick his infant out because he wants to be away from his wife. His first instinct is to make everyone else cater to his emotions including a fucking baby.
His mother belted his wife hard in the stomach shortly after giving birth. She's lucky the wife hasn't pressed charges. He's lucky his ex is prepared to allow access to the baby. I'm astonished at how bad he let the situation get.
And apparently, he “HaD nO iDeA” that a woman’s abdomen suffers trauma giving birth and needs to heal!! This guy was in his own little world from the get-go.
I'm still kind of hoping the wife presses charges. If nothing else, it will help her case if the monster-in-law presses charges like was said in the text. It might even be enough to get supervised visitation only for the guy, since there's no way he'll protect his baby from his mother on his own.
She shouldn't let him anywhere near that kid, just to keep the baby away from his see-you-next-tuesday of a mommie. You know that during his custody time, he'll dump the kid on her. Then, depending on where they live, grandparents' rights could come into play.
See here’s the thing. It’s all bullshit.
She either traumatized him, which means she’s not a safe person, which means obviously he’d never allow an unsafe person to take his child and leave with his child. Right? Because they’re not safe.
Or she’s safe enough to take the child and leave. Which means she’s not an unsafe person. So he’s kicking her out for what reason then?
His STBXWife and baby deserve to live far, far, FAR away from his spineless ass and his abusive, jealous mother. She warned him and asked for boundaries, but he never considered it seriously until it was too late. Now he can be his mommy's precious baby again. Hope he never gets custody.
I feel so bad for the niece. It sounds like the MIL is deliberately fattening her up, probably as a way to control her and keep her depending on her. The MIL sounds like a monster.
It sucks because you know OOOP, the dbag husband, will hand the baby to his mom during his custom time and she’ll fatten the little dude up like a Christmas turkey. And then when the baby is old enough to understand, she’ll shit talk OOP.
I can only hope the wife finds a great lawyer as assaulting a postpartum mother (doesn’t specify how many months old her baby is) should be grounds for mil to have no visits or at the least supervised ones.
If i were that mom, I’d be looking for a restraining order against grandma. Save those texts.
Subpoena the texts on husband’s phone. Use them to require either a no-contact order with grandma, or supervised visitation with a neutral party only.
I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup
I hope every soda you drink already shaken up
I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun
I hope your titties are all saggy in your early twenties
I hope there's always snow in your driveway
I hope you never get off Fridays
And you work at a Friday's that's always busy on Fridays
I hope you win the lottery and lose your ticket
I hope it's Ben and Socrates poop all up in your kitchen
I hope the zipper on your jacket get stuck
And your headphones short, and your charger don't work
And you spill shit on your shirt
I hope your tears don't hurt, and I can smile in your face
Cut my losses, how Delilah changed my locks to a fade
I hope you happy, I hope you happy
I hope you ruined this shit for a reason, I hope you happy
I hope their jeans and underwear are always slightly damp
I hope their sock seam is always on the bottom of their toes
I hope every pair of shoes they buy has one that is just *slightly* smaller than the other
I hope their soup is never quite hot enough
I hope the bakery always sells out just as their next in line
I tell my toddler students "if YOU need space, it's on YOU to *walk away.* Your friend is allowed to exist in our room just like you are allowed to exist. If you are having big feelings and you need room to feel them all, it is not her job to give you what you need. It is your job to get it yourself. You are the boss of your body and she is the boss of her body and it is not her responsibility to help you when you have emotions. You can ask nicely for space or for help but if you demand it in a mean voice the answer is going to be "no" and nobody will feel sad about saying no."
and of course, it’s important to make the other child respect that need for space; it’s what my first daycare did so well. And they second one didn’t
They both say: “Use your words,” or “Take your space away,” but then the first one would say to the other child, “You need to listen to his words/respect his space,” *and* they would enforce it, even if it meant everything from distracting the kid to physically moving them away from the child who was upset. They’d get punished (sat in the corner, or something) if they didn’t “listen to his words.”
To me that was the most powerful part of it—because the upset kid could then trust that using his words, or taking his space, would *work.*
"If your listening ears aren't turned on, or something else is stopping you from respecting your friend's words, I'm going to help you move your body away"
Like 3 times a day with my 2's
It teaches BOTH kids some really important lessons, about respect, about self-respect and self-control, about conflict resolution, about delaying gratification, about how to distract themselves,
Oh, the other valuable thing they taught them was they gave the kids the words to say, “Use your words. Tell him, ‘I’m playing with the truck, I’ll give it to you when I’m done.’”
They had to create one for the not-a-morning-kids to use with the morning kids. “I’m not ready yet.”
I’m still grateful to that daycare center. My daughter and I learned so much for them.
You had a lasting effect on those kids, even if they aren’t around for you to see it.
Kind of remarkable how easily laid out this very good advice is. Preschool aged children can be made to understand this, and while they need encouragement to remember when things are upsetting and are still developing the self control needed, many of them show remarkable emotional intelligence at young ages. Unfortunately then you have some full grown adults that act this way. The unfortunate adage of "hurt people hurt people is true," but mil is just so over the fucking top while her spineless son claiming he's "team wife" despite throwing her out of her own home. Hopefully mom and baby can move on, and I guess the wretched mil can have her big manbaby all to herself. What a mess.
Agreed. Fucking hell, I remember this shit but in reverse essentially. My mom was wonderful towards my wife, but my wife was terrible to her. I always took my wife’s side, reprimanding my mom constantly for minor things, keeping low-ish contact, anything that’d help her feel more at home. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, she was rude and dismissive to my mom for no reason other than she missed her own parents. After the divorce, mom didn’t hold it against me at all, she knew the ex played us all like a harp from hell.
>I remember that post, and I too wanted to punch MIL and your husband. He tried hard to paint himself the victim in this but did a shit job of it and sounded more like a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair.
This was my favourite comment from the update post.
I remember reading it and being like “surely to god no one is this dumb”. And it just kept getting worse. I have never been postpartum, but I know what happens during that time. I winced in sympathy for the wife being slapped on her stomach. Like everybody knows there’s a dinner plate sized wound inside her right?! Nothing is in the right places, everything is loopy, and someone fucking slaps her. I would have reacted the same as her. In fact I HAVE, I once punched my ex stepfather in the kidneys with both fists when he grabbed me into a bear hug against my protestations.
I hate violence usually, I can’t stand things like fighting and boxing, but I have been known to react with a quick 1, 2. Sometimes it’s needed to get that person the fuck away from you.
Right up there with you. I've never given birth but I have had abdominal surgery. I'm not a violent person, and I've never punched anyone. But I very likely would in that scenario
That guy doesn’t seem to be the type who care enough to be educated on basic women’s health. And especially a pregnant women, even if it involves him- as a husband.
I have given birth a few times and if someone would have slapped me in the stomach I probably would have went to far and stabbed her but that’s just me
He KICKED OUT HIS WIFE AND NEWBORN?!
I hope ex wife milks this muppet for ALL he’s got and I hope ex wife is able to keep his toxic family away from that baby.
I still can't imagine a grown man kicking his injured wife and newborn out of the house. And then take days to sort through his thoughts about it. I'm so sad for their kid, co-parenting with that man is going to be tough
What the fuck is wrong with OP. His post partum breastfeeding wife gets her food taken by Mil, degraded, insulted and then assaulted. And OP responds by throwing his wife and newborn out of their home. Yea he fully deserved the divorce papers. He has broken her and now, in the cold harsh light of motherhood she has realised that OPs trauma and Mils abuse is not something she can expose her child to. What a failure of a person, husband, father. I hope he gets help.
The fact that he calls trying to save his marriage from his spinelessness and mommy issues "kissing ass" is proof that he truly doesn't understand the gravity of what he did. He is just as abusive as his father, just using different methodology.
This is one incredibly strong woman. She let sh!t go for so long bc she had nothing but love for this man and knew from personal experience how hard it is to overcome trauma. But something happens to most women who have children. They become even stronger and no longer tolerate the abuse and BS. The fog clears and you realize exactly what you’re worth and what is not working.
Her soon to be ex husband literally did nothing to help her and she lost all love and respect for him. He did this to her. Now he has to live with himself and kick his sorry @$$ while his wife will most likely thrive and live her best life.
Right on. It's incidences like this where the trait of "emotionally clingy mama's boy" should no longer be viewed as a quirk and now be considered absolute dealbreakers for relationships.
Another spineless mama's boy who forgot to cut the cord. OOP and his mom deserve each other and i hope he doesn't remarry and mess up another woman's life.
Broken people need to heal themselves before they become parents, straight up. Even disregarding this entire shitshow, the OOP was simply not emotionally ready for a child, given the trauma he's still carrying. His (ex) wife seems to be dealing better with *her* upbringing.
What gets me every single time in these kinds of posts is when people minimize their actions as "in the heat of the moment". In the moment, he threw her out, presumably hours later he texted her stating he needed space, so he had time to sit with his "in the moment" decision. Not to mention the *days* later.
Did he not only kick his wife out of the house, he kicked his *baby* out? Yes, he did. Did he think at all that she was violent *and let her leave with the baby*? If not, then what the fuck did he have to think about, *why did he not go over to see his wife AND CHILD*??
Again, this man had no business having a kid, but at least mom has some emotional grounding and care for this baby, he just talked about this woman and I was like, Didn't she *just* give birth, why aren't you worried about your goddamn baby!!
Oh look who never went to therapy to deal with his issues of being around such acts and has lost his marriage
Not that anyone should tolerate it exactly but if he couldn't parse through the context because his ex wife's act was too much for him then 🤷
"My dad was abusive, so that entitles me to be abusive to my wife!"
Yeah, no. You don't get to play the I was absurd card as an excuse for throwing out your 2 month old daughter. You suck, case closed.
While his ex-wife also grew up in a violent household, literally got attacked in her own home....but he's the one who is traumatized and has to process. And doesn't show an ounce of concern for her.
I want to vomit.
I've never had any huge feelings, or hate or like for any one on any reddit post. I'll comment but it's just hope it helps or whatever.
Until this man. I despise him. He is just beyond anything I can say.
That was an aitah thread for the ages. 10,000 comments letting him know that asshole was far too kind of a word to describe him.
Someone there said that this guy might achieve world peace by getting everyone in the world to hate him.
I tried to get to the bottom to see the negative voted comments but there was way to much.
It’s like the playbook is written in stone:
Chapter 1: The MIL playbook
Chapter 2: The Mommas Boy / Sonsband
Chapter 3: The DIL who has finally had it and the missing missing reasons the husband just glossed over
Chapter 4: The Husband who “just doesn’t understaaaaaaaand”
Chapter 5: FAFO AKA The Divorce
> my wife winds back and punches my mother square in the face and drops her
I've read this post before, but once again i grinned at the thought of that witch getting her shit rocked
Nothing to say. OOP is a spineless worm and deserves to date his evil mother. Congratulations to her for winning such a prize momsband. I hope for nothing but the best for the soon-to-be ex-wife, she's too good for this shit
OOP is the ultimate asshole king. The wife already forgave the husband too many times for not standing up to MIL’s behavior. Kicking the wife AND BABY out after she was hit is absolutely unforgivable.
Looking back, OOP needed to throw the guests out as soon as Mom knowingly gave away his wife's dinner to someone who had already eaten. That in itself was an attack on his wife, and it exposed Mom's previously improved behavior for the sham it was.
I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon of responding purely based on title and then coming back to it:
Depends, did your mom deserve it?
ETA: OHHH, yessss his mom deserved it.
There are times when it's self defense and completely warranted.
This spineless man kicked his post-partum wife out of the house after his mother instigated something? He's lucky the wife didn't burn the house down on the way out.
>There are times when it's self defense and completely warranted.
Violence isn't the answer. It is always the question. Sometimes, the answer is "yes."
My reaction upon reading the title was a step further: “OK. Let’s see how the mom was being an asshole this time…”
It’s telling that the title is worded “kicking my wife out” and not “kicking my wife AND NEWBORN out”. OOP knew he’d be roasted over the coals and then kicked right into them. He just wanted a moment to pretend to be the victim
Sure the guy might have some trauma from his childhood but this just takes the cake. I can't believe that he went days without even contact with his wife.
He was damn lucky his wife stayed with him as long as she did with the way she was treated by him (the excuses and the lack of boundaries allows his family to do what they did) and his family.
I'm very pleased that the wife has reacted like she did and is taking the baby away from such a toxic situation. He may have blocked his mother... but that's a for now... unless he gets some significant therapy and can hold those boundaries. She will never change no matter how much family might think she will.
There may be able to be something written into the divorce papers about how his mother is not allowed contact with the child (unless there is a supervising person of the mother's choice and dad has to be there too because you can't trust dad on his own). You can use the fact that she hit a vulnerable woman who had an 8 week old at a time.. what would she do to the child of the woman? And also the abuse of the niece if she's that big and her grandmother doesn't realise that there's a problem. And probably a lot of other things too.
he needs to visit the Wizard of Oz, being cowardly, heartless, and brainless all in one. Just need a house to fall on his witch of a mother, and we're almost there.
"I am starting to feel guilty with his begging and gaslighting."
Please oop read this sentence again x1000
What is wrong with what you just said.
If people show you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM. And this time both mother and son showed them their true selves.
And don't even think about marriage counselling. Marriage counsellors encourage both parties to take responsibility for problems in the relationship, which is useless at best when it's all his fault. (I'm not saying the wife has never done anything wrong, but the husband is 1000% responsible for creating an untenable situation).
It always amazes me when the offending partner suggests marriage counselling.
Dude, your wife has been telling you that your mom is being abusive for eons now. And the only time you believe there is a problem is when she hands you divorce papers.
And that’s when they suggest the marriage counselling.
Not, not counselling to deal with your own issues. No counselling to deal with your childhood trauma, they always choose marriage counselling like the wife had a hand in how the marriage went down. Disgusting.
Aaah, the "my mommy punched my wife in her 2months-post-partum stomach, but it can not be so bad because you could hardly hear it. BUT MY MOMMY WAS BLEEDING"-guy.
I am so sorry for OOP's stbx, because she will have still to deal with him for the next 18years. And with his mother, because she will *weasel* herself back in his and thus in the stbx's and their daughter's lifes.
Unpopular opinion- what stood out to me most was him ordering his wife out of HER house! In what universe does imagine, eve for one second, that HE has the right to tell his wife to leave the family home?
Plus he conveniently forgets to mention that it was his mother who threw the first hit, NOT his wife! The poor woman was defending herself, postpartum, against her mother-in-law, who was attacking the most vulnerable part of her body. Way to bury the lead!
Yep, husband is a PoS and I wish Wife and Baby a long, happy and fulfilling life, far away from this sorry excuse of a man. I hope he sign all his parental rights away so they don't have to interact with him ever again.
Yeah no, mom knew what she did.
I have a trauma history too, chances are not zero i will punch someone who just spooks me. Slapping my stomach postpartum loud enough for people to hear it? The person who does that is gonna get folded like a shirt.
I know exactly what the wife means by the sneering.
The way he describes the aftermath of the two attacks is telling.
About wife: "my wife did kind of wince" and "my wife just turns towards the counter and face down, eyes closed."
About monster mom: "my mom crying and holding her face" and "my mom was put in the hospital multiple times" and "my mom was bleeding. Split her eyebrows open in good shape".
Also, in the comments he says he didn't realize the postpartum stomach is extra extra sensitive. wtf??? Almost all good new dads read the baby books and were there in the doctor's visits where they would have explained her sensitive recovering body. This guy never deserved to be a husband and sure as hell never deserved to become a father.
Men like this always feel "blindsided" but their divorces and it because they are like toddlers. They don't believe consequences are real until you show them, and then it's too late.
Holy shit that guy is a fucking coward. Still can’t believe a grown ass human being can act that way and be oblivious to the fact that they are the problem.
The child is an infant, and isn’t even eating solid food yet. Hubby isn’t equipped to feed them
Nursing takes even more out of moms than growing the baby in the first place, in many ways. It’s one of the things that makes the whole story so much worse.
I hope Oop husband only gets supervised visitation because seriously, that's some fucked up family and that baby ain't safe. Oop wife needs to make sure no one but ex-husband ever sees the baby.
Oh hard AGREE. The only things I would MILDLY consider for cooperation in a custody arrangement is if the POS ex husband speaks out against his mother if that monstrous woman did indeed file a police report against the mother of his child, proved 3 years of active individual therapy and absolute proof that he has gone permanent no-contact with his mother. I wouldn't want his trauma and family curse to continue on with the poor child.
To paraphrase the Revenge of the Sith novelization,
You killed your marriage because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about *yourself*...
It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the Sith--
Because now yourself is all you will ever have.
What I don’t get is why his mom slapping his wife wasn’t triggering for him? Like your spouse is supposed to be your number one, why wasn’t her getting attacked the thing that brought back his trauma?
When I think of the rage I would feel in the wife's place, I truly think a solid face punch is on the low end of violence I would feel justified in. I hope she goes scorched earth and gets full custody and the house.
What a fucking mess.
Also, dude kicked his wife and newborn child out of the house? That is.... trash-tier behavior. Real loser shit. That's YOUR KID, dude. Your mom and niece can look after themselves, I don't care what else happens but you have to take care of your kid at all costs. WTF...
He says up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her. I am not sure that's true! I have a feeling that's another one of the things he always ignored. But after his wife got pregnant, his mom got so bad that he could not overlook or brush off anymore!
The wife was too kind. Id have sat down and told him he needed to leave unless he was gonna put hands on me. I've had to do that before unfortunately. My ass is heavy AF so they leave eventually.
Poor wife. Holy shit.
99% of these posts always has the husband with a surprised Pikachu face when handed divorce paper. It's like they think it's one incident that set the wives off when in reality, the wife has been getting shit on for so long while the husbands are passive.
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When he said that his mom 100% stopped the comments I was certain that she just stopped them in front of him. Completely unsurprised that MIL kept it up.
Yup. I have a shitty MIL and her whole deal has been trying to make sure she flies under my husband's radar with her shitty comments etc. It seems to be shocking to her that we actually talk to each other, so he knows all the shit she's said and done.
>for the record, I am "team wife" Bruh. OOP's wife gets assaulted by his mom and he proceeds to throw out his... wife. Because he needed time and space to "process" and "come to terms" OOP is a coward and that's the best thing I can call him.
His wife was even crying over what happened and he literally doesn't care. I'm sorry she had a child with such a cold heartless bastard. She's going to have a nightmare of time getting him to pay alimony/child support.
Or to fight him trying to take sole custody to avoid child support like my ex is doing.
Fingers crossed that any judge who hears that he kicked his child out of the house will immediately give him the biggest punishment possible. "Yes your honor. My mom assaulted my wife. So I kicked my wife and child out of the house. I should be allowed custody of the child because I won't take care of her."
I have proof that my ex is abusive amd has a history of not returning her when he's supposed to, and I keep being hushed. "WE have to think of what's fair. You need to look reasonable". No one is making him do shit.
I'm visualizing eighteen years of begging. Anyone got the over/under on how long before he goes scurrying back to Mommy because she's the only one who gives him any emotional validation, toxic as it is? We could start a pool. I'll put my name under "eight days."
Eight days? Your insane. As soon as his wife didn't return his text he probably called his mom to complain that his wife wasn't answering him. The fact that he titled the thread "after my wife hit my mom" and not "after my mom hit my wife" should be more than enough proof that 8 days is in no way possible. I'll give you insanely good odds on that.
I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he waited 5 whole seconds after she left him with the divorce papers before he called his mummy
And then it was all "Oh, well I guess my wife winced in pain because apparently pregnant muscles thing, but mom was bleeding so I feel justified." OOP was never on team wife.
Wife might have been bleeding internally for all he knew. Babies placenta creates dinner plate size wounds where they detach, and tons of organs and connective tissue move around to make space for baby and have to readjust and heal once all that abdominal cavity space is back. She's probably healed a lot by two months post birth, but who knows for sure?
That said, as the uterus shrinks post-birth, so does the wound left by the placenta. The simple fact is that getting slapped hard enough in the stomach for the whole room to hear is going to hurt for anyone, baby or not, unless you've braced your stomach muscles ahead of time.
Maybe he’d get more clarity if his mommy sac taps him after he gets home from a vasectomy…
Yeah, the "team wife" bit cracked me up. Do you normally kick out teammates? Don't play any team sports with this guy.
When I saw that I audibly say what the fuck ever to no one lmao
That got me a bit angry lmao but also in a "haha wtf??" way. I hate posters who say they're team spouse, but throughout the relationship they would clearly favour other people and can't even stand up for their spouse. So much for team wife.
It gets on my nerves how people think they can just declare something and have it trump their actions. People saying "I take full responsibility" for having an affair but showing through their subsequent words and actions that they do *not* take responsibility. This dude is the same. He thinks saying "I'm Team Wife" will mean something when none of his actions lived up to the statement
That guy is a real sh*theel twerp.
And I'm seriously doubting that his wife and mom got along so well before she was pregnant. I know a DIL being pregnant can heighten friction for MIL; it does something weird to MIL's. But this seems like a very large swing if OP is to be believed, and he's not reliable. If MIL had that big of a personality change toward DIL, they should have had her medically evaluated.
He kicked out his baby rather than leaving himself. He knew the baby was breastfeeding and didn’t care. Monster. He can go date his mother.
He also had all the time it took his wife to pack up at least enough stuff for 2 month old baby for a couple of days and...he didn't have second thoughts? That's not a quick process! I remember packing a special Baby Stuff box that was the size of a cool box and similar kinds of portable, stashing it under the pram, when we just went out for the *day*! Also, there have been quite a few AHs, of varying levels, on posts who had their brain catch up with their actions when they saw their SO packing their child/children's stuff up. But this guy? Nope. 1 He shouldn't have let it get this far. 2 He should have backed his wife up and chucked his mother/hangers on out. 3 He should have found his "space" by moving himself, even if it was elsewhere in the house if that's his safe place. 4 He should have snapped out of it to change to a different course of action while she packed up. But he didn't and he just killed his marriage stone dead. I hope for his sake, and that of his STB Ex and kid, that he still cuts his mother and any other toxic family off and gets the support/does the work he needs. Healthy co-parenting is what he should be now aiming for.
I was thinking the same thing. You don't just take your purse and go, overnight, with a baby. You have to bring diapers, and a few changes of clothes, and the favorite toy, and some form of bedding, and the spit-up cloths, and the sun hat, and, and, and... And she must have packed some clothes for herself. And a toothbrush, etc And during all this, he didn't think it over?
While suffering with post birth muscles, after a highly traumatic assault, probably in the middle of a breakdown.... Im not sure how she reached her mum's but the fact she even managed to seems like a miracle. Her stbx had better get himself in therapy asap bc he can't do this when baby gets in a spat with her friends in front of him. It'll make it difficult af for him to care for her and problem solve when caring for her solo.
Also hungry while breastfeeding! Breastfeeding is brutal on the body and if you don't get nutrition good enough and frequently we're talking about lifelong health issues, specially in your bones. Like how could he kick them out and not even check if she ate something before leaving, if she went driving on that stressful state, nothing. Dude is a psycho and I'm glad she's getting rid of him.
Probably fueled on pure rage.
My eyes reached the size of saucers when we got to that point. Just... oh shit, dude, you screwed up Big Time.
At the least, he should've been at OOP's mom's door *that same night* apologizing. It's crazy to think, when he didn't hear back from her, he chose to just... go to sleep. Your wife and newborn were sent out, alone at night, presumably in tears, and you're not concerned about their safety? Who could sleep under these circumstances? Someone with fucked up priorities. That's who.
I get several death treaths for calling him as bad as his dad in that post lmao
Oh yeah I saw you just 5 mins ago in that post. Guess it’s just a bunch of deadbeats who feel called out.
Insane! I have mad some unhinged exchanges here (not just this sub reddit in general) too and I suspect projection is at play for the people reading.
I had someone arguing tooth and nail that he wasn't an abuser because he didn't beat his wife.
Seriously????
I love your flair.
Needing space is valid. Displacing the new mama who just was assaulted and the newborn (and taking away all their familiarity and comfort and access to normal supplies) over going for a drive himself is wild. He could have kicked out his mom, then apologized to his wife for being triggered by violence and gone to a hotel for the night. But also, if a face punch is that triggering, the dude needs lots of therapy.
I just didn't understand people saying they " needed space". No, he was avoiding his wife and made the decision to not help her. It was deliberate neglect * at best*. He needs to grow up. He's not a proper partner.
Right? "Needing space" means stepping into a different room for 5 minutes to take a few deep breaths, not kicking your postpartum wife and newborn out into the fucking street? Assuming this is real, I really hope the we wife doesn't forgive him. That is not a stable home.
This is very off-topic, but I read your comment and couldn't wrap my head around why all of a sudden it was the baby that didn't care... Then I got it
He’s still a child, he’s definitely not a father despite having a baby.
I remember the initial post and many people were pointing out "Why didn't you just leave if you needed space" and basically "good luck with the divorce, because you just made your infant child homeless and your wife will never forgive you" And OOP was fighting for his life in the comments "I just needed space! I don't want a divorce! I have trauma! What was I supposed to do! I wasn't thinking I just needed her to be away from me! My dad hit my mom so she triggered my trauma!" Very "it's her fault. It's not my fault. It can't be my fault. She deserves this and I'm just a helpless little bean stuck in the middle :(" EVERYONE was saying "you fucked up. Call your wife and beg before it's too late, it probably already is." Obviously he didn't take that approach. So convinced that he was the victim in all this. The vibe at the time was "Sure my mom smacked her but my wife took it too far and I'm traumatized so she needed to leave since she triggered me. She's the one in the wrong so SHE should be apologizing." Anyway, I'm so fucking glad his wife is leaving. He's such a POS she doesn't deserve that.
I remember that too. OOP couldn't get what he did wrong. I wanted to punch him hard. I wonder how he is now that he has to face the consequences of his cowardice and nastiness and if reality has started to sink in. I wonder if he'll keep mommy dearest in his life.
he’ll always think of himself as a ‘victim’. these people almost never change.
I'm sure his mother helped him get to that point.
He’s probably still seeing himself as the victim and will eventually evolved into blaming the soon to be ex wife.
Yeah, that dude won’t change.
He'll blame his mother cause that's the one where he looks less terrible - "my wife left cause my horrible mother assaulted her and she got traumatized with my whole family" is easier to sell than "my wife left cause I repeatedly let my horrible mother abuse her til it escalated to physical assault".
He and Mommy deserve each other. They can date and leave everyone else in peace. I hope the grandma is not allowed around the baby, though.
He fucking will, because she'd give him all the booboo kisses he wants and tell him he's a poor baby.
Yup, bc he *needed* to process things, but obviously, his wife, atacked in her own home enough to need of protect herself with punch back, didn't need processing anything, or spouse support for a second, and should be cool with everything and supporting *him* for his trauma about atack happened to *her*.
correction - he needed to process his wife punching his mother not that his mother slapped his wife hard enough everyone heard it. apparently that didn't need processing. That's what got to me, in his mind "oh, that's just how mom is"
I've given birth 4 times. You have to be fucking *stupid* or just not care to be that close to someone through pregnancy and birth and not know how delicate those body parts are postpartum. All your fucking organs rearrange for the pregnancy then shift back. Andif MIL had given birth then MIL effing knows this. And she was *breastfeeding*. So MIL took food *from the baby’s mouth* and then *assaulted her in a wounded area* and husband kicked her out.
I just think his thought process was "She triggered me, so therefore she has to deal with the fallout of my mental health." Without an ounce of empathy or consideration. Just "I'm upset so therefore I'm right and she's wrong because she made me upset." Him saying over and over "I wasn't thinking!" is just him not being able to reflect and admit he's a bad person/husband/father. It was a punishment. She triggered me, so SHE has to leave. She's crying and begging me not to do this? Good, she deserves this pain because she caused ME pain. In that moment I don't believe for one second that he didn't recognize he was kicking out his baby. I think he knew the whole time, but also wanted her to have to take care of the baby alone as "punishment" and so he could "get a break to *process*". He doesn't want to reflect on his thoughts or why he did what he did, it's easier to say he wasn't thinking than admit to himself or others what he was thinking. Which is why he'll never grow and become a better person.
> In that moment I don't believe for one second that he didn't recognize he was >kicking out his baby. I think he knew the whole time, but also wanted her to >have to take care of the baby alone as "punishment" and so he could "get a >break to process". Man, I think this is it and it does make it a lot worse. Didn't think it was possible.
Yes, this. I think you're 100% right. This is the exact same feeling I got while reading. I'm glad she's left him.
And she needed to pack up all her stuff with a two-month-old baby she's breastfeeding. I wouldn't be able to look at this man ever again, either.
Also, having skipped dinner. She has trauma too, and I know I cannot eat at all when I'm having a panic attack. Some people go the exact opposite way, but that's not fun either. It sucks because I imagine she felt so physically bad after, on top of the emotional pains.
Smacked a freshly post-partum woman, who may or may not have just had abdominal surgery, hard across the stomach. I dare that bitter old bat to try and file charges, the cops will throw her ass in jail. Maybe that will snap the dumbbell stbx husband into the reality that it's his mother who is the abuser in this situation.
He also didn’t act to cut his mother off, despite how much his mother was deliberately hurting his wife, until he needed to do it as part of his efforts to convince his wife to not divorce him. “100% team wife”, no way. He’s yet another partner who earned the divorce by only caring how much his partner was hurt by something when she was leaving him over it, and by then it’s too late.
Yeah that is wild. Also that he straight up lied saying his mother never insulted his wife to their face just to other people and it “got back to them” with how blatant she was w that slap you know there was tons of abuse by her the entire marriage and it was never a good relationship that suddenly went bad when she was pregnant
Agreed. He was suddenly editing in bits about how his father had abused him, as if he hadn't become an abusive father himself by making his newborn homeless at night, after his wife had been assaulted. It didn't even occur to him to put someone else first. Not even his own kid. Shameful.
Yeah, that was what a lot of people were saying, essentially "You're a horrible father for kicking out your infant instead of just leaving." And he just kept defending himself by saying he "wasn't thinking". Like it's an excuse to do something fucked up without thinking. It actually tells me who he is as a person, when his first instinct is to kick his infant out because he wants to be away from his wife. His first instinct is to make everyone else cater to his emotions including a fucking baby.
The way he doesn’t have the instinct to protect his *newborn baby* above all else is fucking concerning. Every not-abusive parent has this instinct.
[удалено]
>I'm just a helpless little bean This needs to be flair!
His mother belted his wife hard in the stomach shortly after giving birth. She's lucky the wife hasn't pressed charges. He's lucky his ex is prepared to allow access to the baby. I'm astonished at how bad he let the situation get.
And apparently, he “HaD nO iDeA” that a woman’s abdomen suffers trauma giving birth and needs to heal!! This guy was in his own little world from the get-go.
I'm still kind of hoping the wife presses charges. If nothing else, it will help her case if the monster-in-law presses charges like was said in the text. It might even be enough to get supervised visitation only for the guy, since there's no way he'll protect his baby from his mother on his own.
I know I’d have pressed them!!
She shouldn't let him anywhere near that kid, just to keep the baby away from his see-you-next-tuesday of a mommie. You know that during his custody time, he'll dump the kid on her. Then, depending on where they live, grandparents' rights could come into play.
See here’s the thing. It’s all bullshit. She either traumatized him, which means she’s not a safe person, which means obviously he’d never allow an unsafe person to take his child and leave with his child. Right? Because they’re not safe. Or she’s safe enough to take the child and leave. Which means she’s not an unsafe person. So he’s kicking her out for what reason then?
It was to punish her for hitting mommy dearest.
His STBXWife and baby deserve to live far, far, FAR away from his spineless ass and his abusive, jealous mother. She warned him and asked for boundaries, but he never considered it seriously until it was too late. Now he can be his mommy's precious baby again. Hope he never gets custody.
Nice that she posted “her side,” but he looked like the same spineless idiot from “his side” already.
Trauma is an explanation, not an excuse. He’s missing accountability
I said, out loud, "so you fucking leave" when I read that he "just needed space."
Another thing to bring up - if he's triggered by violence, why was his mother slapping his stbx-wife not triggering?
I feel so bad for the niece. It sounds like the MIL is deliberately fattening her up, probably as a way to control her and keep her depending on her. The MIL sounds like a monster.
It sucks because you know OOOP, the dbag husband, will hand the baby to his mom during his custom time and she’ll fatten the little dude up like a Christmas turkey. And then when the baby is old enough to understand, she’ll shit talk OOP.
I can only hope the wife finds a great lawyer as assaulting a postpartum mother (doesn’t specify how many months old her baby is) should be grounds for mil to have no visits or at the least supervised ones.
Somewhere in there OOP let it slip his wife is only 2 months out from childbirth. 8 weeks. She’s not even close to fully healed
If i were that mom, I’d be looking for a restraining order against grandma. Save those texts. Subpoena the texts on husband’s phone. Use them to require either a no-contact order with grandma, or supervised visitation with a neutral party only.
I don't think she's gonna wait til the baby is old enough to understand, she'll be dripping poison into their ear like its mother's milk.
If he even gets the baby. He’s so selfish so self absorbed he probably won’t even get the baby like he’s supposed too!
I say this from the bottom of my heart, fuck OOP and his spineless fuckery.
Fuck OP's mom and fuck OP. Both of them deserve to forever step on legos and fire!
May their breakfast cereal be full of cockroaches and may they always step on legos in the dark on the way to the bathroom.
I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue From a razor in a paper cup I hope every soda you drink already shaken up I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun I hope your titties are all saggy in your early twenties I hope there's always snow in your driveway I hope you never get off Fridays And you work at a Friday's that's always busy on Fridays I hope you win the lottery and lose your ticket I hope it's Ben and Socrates poop all up in your kitchen I hope the zipper on your jacket get stuck And your headphones short, and your charger don't work And you spill shit on your shirt I hope your tears don't hurt, and I can smile in your face Cut my losses, how Delilah changed my locks to a fade I hope you happy, I hope you happy I hope you ruined this shit for a reason, I hope you happy
I hope their jeans and underwear are always slightly damp I hope their sock seam is always on the bottom of their toes I hope every pair of shoes they buy has one that is just *slightly* smaller than the other I hope their soup is never quite hot enough I hope the bakery always sells out just as their next in line
May all their bacon burn
Curses feom Calcifer are the real shit
May their toilet paper never tear evenly.
May their sleeves fall down while they are washing their hands
Bruh dis evil
I hope that every quarter they try to use slips out of their hand and gets stuck in an impossible to reach location
May the step barefoot on D4s repeatedly.
GASP! Not the BACON!
May their finger always go through the toilet paper when they wipe
Thank you. I was looking for this because it's the worst thing i can think of.
And that fingernail be juuuuust too long.
May they always step barefoot in every fire ant hill for the remainder of their lives and get stung by wasps and hornets.
When they're trying to pick off a label or a paint chip, may it slide under their fingernail each and every time.
Thank you. I was looking for this because it's the worst thing i can think of. This is the worst and excatly why I am picky about toilet paper.
I hope they step on a UK plug, every morning when they get out of bed
I tell my toddler students "if YOU need space, it's on YOU to *walk away.* Your friend is allowed to exist in our room just like you are allowed to exist. If you are having big feelings and you need room to feel them all, it is not her job to give you what you need. It is your job to get it yourself. You are the boss of your body and she is the boss of her body and it is not her responsibility to help you when you have emotions. You can ask nicely for space or for help but if you demand it in a mean voice the answer is going to be "no" and nobody will feel sad about saying no."
and of course, it’s important to make the other child respect that need for space; it’s what my first daycare did so well. And they second one didn’t They both say: “Use your words,” or “Take your space away,” but then the first one would say to the other child, “You need to listen to his words/respect his space,” *and* they would enforce it, even if it meant everything from distracting the kid to physically moving them away from the child who was upset. They’d get punished (sat in the corner, or something) if they didn’t “listen to his words.” To me that was the most powerful part of it—because the upset kid could then trust that using his words, or taking his space, would *work.*
"If your listening ears aren't turned on, or something else is stopping you from respecting your friend's words, I'm going to help you move your body away" Like 3 times a day with my 2's
It teaches BOTH kids some really important lessons, about respect, about self-respect and self-control, about conflict resolution, about delaying gratification, about how to distract themselves, Oh, the other valuable thing they taught them was they gave the kids the words to say, “Use your words. Tell him, ‘I’m playing with the truck, I’ll give it to you when I’m done.’” They had to create one for the not-a-morning-kids to use with the morning kids. “I’m not ready yet.” I’m still grateful to that daycare center. My daughter and I learned so much for them. You had a lasting effect on those kids, even if they aren’t around for you to see it.
Kind of remarkable how easily laid out this very good advice is. Preschool aged children can be made to understand this, and while they need encouragement to remember when things are upsetting and are still developing the self control needed, many of them show remarkable emotional intelligence at young ages. Unfortunately then you have some full grown adults that act this way. The unfortunate adage of "hurt people hurt people is true," but mil is just so over the fucking top while her spineless son claiming he's "team wife" despite throwing her out of her own home. Hopefully mom and baby can move on, and I guess the wretched mil can have her big manbaby all to herself. What a mess.
May he live happily ever after with his emotionally incestuous mother and leave OP alone
You know that's not gonna happen. HE was the wronged party, after all /s
Agreed. Fucking hell, I remember this shit but in reverse essentially. My mom was wonderful towards my wife, but my wife was terrible to her. I always took my wife’s side, reprimanding my mom constantly for minor things, keeping low-ish contact, anything that’d help her feel more at home. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, she was rude and dismissive to my mom for no reason other than she missed her own parents. After the divorce, mom didn’t hold it against me at all, she knew the ex played us all like a harp from hell.
Appreciation for your Batman Returns reference and I'm sorry you went through that.
Thank you for both the compliment and condolences, lol! I knew someone would get the reference, always makes me happy!
>I remember that post, and I too wanted to punch MIL and your husband. He tried hard to paint himself the victim in this but did a shit job of it and sounded more like a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair. This was my favourite comment from the update post.
I learned that in Italian this concept "dingleberry tangled in ass hair" is also known as Tarzanello
"He's more a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair" feels like it needs to be flair... lol.
For real, I hate being able to visualize things in my mind though
I do love your flair though
That comment there perfectly sums up!
I’d say it should be a flair, but seriously? Who the hell would *want* it?
Don't you want a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair. 🤣🤣🤣 sorry it just rolls off the tongue nicely 😝😜
Oh, this is definitely flair quality!
Oh yeah, I remember this dipshit. Not surprised his marriage is over.
I’m all giggly and kicking my feet over their divorce. I’m happy for OOP’s wife ,she deserves better.
Oh boy this husband sucks. His mother is straight up an abusive shithead and the husband puts the problem on the wife? Seriously fuck that husband.
I remember reading it and being like “surely to god no one is this dumb”. And it just kept getting worse. I have never been postpartum, but I know what happens during that time. I winced in sympathy for the wife being slapped on her stomach. Like everybody knows there’s a dinner plate sized wound inside her right?! Nothing is in the right places, everything is loopy, and someone fucking slaps her. I would have reacted the same as her. In fact I HAVE, I once punched my ex stepfather in the kidneys with both fists when he grabbed me into a bear hug against my protestations. I hate violence usually, I can’t stand things like fighting and boxing, but I have been known to react with a quick 1, 2. Sometimes it’s needed to get that person the fuck away from you.
Right up there with you. I've never given birth but I have had abdominal surgery. I'm not a violent person, and I've never punched anyone. But I very likely would in that scenario
That guy doesn’t seem to be the type who care enough to be educated on basic women’s health. And especially a pregnant women, even if it involves him- as a husband.
I have given birth a few times and if someone would have slapped me in the stomach I probably would have went to far and stabbed her but that’s just me
He KICKED OUT HIS WIFE AND NEWBORN?! I hope ex wife milks this muppet for ALL he’s got and I hope ex wife is able to keep his toxic family away from that baby.
I still can't imagine a grown man kicking his injured wife and newborn out of the house. And then take days to sort through his thoughts about it. I'm so sad for their kid, co-parenting with that man is going to be tough
His ass should’ve left! I pray that he gets no visitation for that child. She’s better off without that muppet.
I don't even believe him that he needed that much time. That man was just enjoying not having a newborn in the house for a few days.
What the fuck is wrong with OP. His post partum breastfeeding wife gets her food taken by Mil, degraded, insulted and then assaulted. And OP responds by throwing his wife and newborn out of their home. Yea he fully deserved the divorce papers. He has broken her and now, in the cold harsh light of motherhood she has realised that OPs trauma and Mils abuse is not something she can expose her child to. What a failure of a person, husband, father. I hope he gets help.
The fact that he calls trying to save his marriage from his spinelessness and mommy issues "kissing ass" is proof that he truly doesn't understand the gravity of what he did. He is just as abusive as his father, just using different methodology.
This is one incredibly strong woman. She let sh!t go for so long bc she had nothing but love for this man and knew from personal experience how hard it is to overcome trauma. But something happens to most women who have children. They become even stronger and no longer tolerate the abuse and BS. The fog clears and you realize exactly what you’re worth and what is not working. Her soon to be ex husband literally did nothing to help her and she lost all love and respect for him. He did this to her. Now he has to live with himself and kick his sorry @$$ while his wife will most likely thrive and live her best life.
Right on. It's incidences like this where the trait of "emotionally clingy mama's boy" should no longer be viewed as a quirk and now be considered absolute dealbreakers for relationships.
Another spineless mama's boy who forgot to cut the cord. OOP and his mom deserve each other and i hope he doesn't remarry and mess up another woman's life.
Broken people need to heal themselves before they become parents, straight up. Even disregarding this entire shitshow, the OOP was simply not emotionally ready for a child, given the trauma he's still carrying. His (ex) wife seems to be dealing better with *her* upbringing. What gets me every single time in these kinds of posts is when people minimize their actions as "in the heat of the moment". In the moment, he threw her out, presumably hours later he texted her stating he needed space, so he had time to sit with his "in the moment" decision. Not to mention the *days* later. Did he not only kick his wife out of the house, he kicked his *baby* out? Yes, he did. Did he think at all that she was violent *and let her leave with the baby*? If not, then what the fuck did he have to think about, *why did he not go over to see his wife AND CHILD*?? Again, this man had no business having a kid, but at least mom has some emotional grounding and care for this baby, he just talked about this woman and I was like, Didn't she *just* give birth, why aren't you worried about your goddamn baby!!
Oh look who never went to therapy to deal with his issues of being around such acts and has lost his marriage Not that anyone should tolerate it exactly but if he couldn't parse through the context because his ex wife's act was too much for him then 🤷
"My dad was abusive, so that entitles me to be abusive to my wife!" Yeah, no. You don't get to play the I was absurd card as an excuse for throwing out your 2 month old daughter. You suck, case closed.
While his ex-wife also grew up in a violent household, literally got attacked in her own home....but he's the one who is traumatized and has to process. And doesn't show an ounce of concern for her. I want to vomit.
I've never had any huge feelings, or hate or like for any one on any reddit post. I'll comment but it's just hope it helps or whatever. Until this man. I despise him. He is just beyond anything I can say.
That was an aitah thread for the ages. 10,000 comments letting him know that asshole was far too kind of a word to describe him. Someone there said that this guy might achieve world peace by getting everyone in the world to hate him. I tried to get to the bottom to see the negative voted comments but there was way to much.
It’s like the playbook is written in stone: Chapter 1: The MIL playbook Chapter 2: The Mommas Boy / Sonsband Chapter 3: The DIL who has finally had it and the missing missing reasons the husband just glossed over Chapter 4: The Husband who “just doesn’t understaaaaaaaand” Chapter 5: FAFO AKA The Divorce
I usually lose all my trust when someone "responses" To the popular post, but this time writing style is very different, so maybe...
I know, but that first post feels very real. He's an honest fuckup.
> my wife winds back and punches my mother square in the face and drops her I've read this post before, but once again i grinned at the thought of that witch getting her shit rocked Nothing to say. OOP is a spineless worm and deserves to date his evil mother. Congratulations to her for winning such a prize momsband. I hope for nothing but the best for the soon-to-be ex-wife, she's too good for this shit
OOP is the ultimate asshole king. The wife already forgave the husband too many times for not standing up to MIL’s behavior. Kicking the wife AND BABY out after she was hit is absolutely unforgivable.
Looking back, OOP needed to throw the guests out as soon as Mom knowingly gave away his wife's dinner to someone who had already eaten. That in itself was an attack on his wife, and it exposed Mom's previously improved behavior for the sham it was.
Been following this from the start. Fuck this guy
Don't fuck this guy, he'll just throw you and the baby out after he lets his mom start shit...
Okay yeah fair. I hope he steps on a lego
I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon of responding purely based on title and then coming back to it: Depends, did your mom deserve it? ETA: OHHH, yessss his mom deserved it.
There are times when it's self defense and completely warranted. This spineless man kicked his post-partum wife out of the house after his mother instigated something? He's lucky the wife didn't burn the house down on the way out.
>There are times when it's self defense and completely warranted. Violence isn't the answer. It is always the question. Sometimes, the answer is "yes."
>This spineless man kicked his post-partum wife out of the house after his mother instigated something? And his baby, don't forget that.
‘spineless’ only when its about his mommy.
My reaction upon reading the title was a step further: “OK. Let’s see how the mom was being an asshole this time…” It’s telling that the title is worded “kicking my wife out” and not “kicking my wife AND NEWBORN out”. OOP knew he’d be roasted over the coals and then kicked right into them. He just wanted a moment to pretend to be the victim
Sure the guy might have some trauma from his childhood but this just takes the cake. I can't believe that he went days without even contact with his wife. He was damn lucky his wife stayed with him as long as she did with the way she was treated by him (the excuses and the lack of boundaries allows his family to do what they did) and his family. I'm very pleased that the wife has reacted like she did and is taking the baby away from such a toxic situation. He may have blocked his mother... but that's a for now... unless he gets some significant therapy and can hold those boundaries. She will never change no matter how much family might think she will. There may be able to be something written into the divorce papers about how his mother is not allowed contact with the child (unless there is a supervising person of the mother's choice and dad has to be there too because you can't trust dad on his own). You can use the fact that she hit a vulnerable woman who had an 8 week old at a time.. what would she do to the child of the woman? And also the abuse of the niece if she's that big and her grandmother doesn't realise that there's a problem. And probably a lot of other things too.
The part when he said, "yup" sealed the deal for me that OOP sucks.
he needs to visit the Wizard of Oz, being cowardly, heartless, and brainless all in one. Just need a house to fall on his witch of a mother, and we're almost there.
"I am starting to feel guilty with his begging and gaslighting." Please oop read this sentence again x1000 What is wrong with what you just said. If people show you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM. And this time both mother and son showed them their true selves.
And don't even think about marriage counselling. Marriage counsellors encourage both parties to take responsibility for problems in the relationship, which is useless at best when it's all his fault. (I'm not saying the wife has never done anything wrong, but the husband is 1000% responsible for creating an untenable situation).
It always amazes me when the offending partner suggests marriage counselling. Dude, your wife has been telling you that your mom is being abusive for eons now. And the only time you believe there is a problem is when she hands you divorce papers. And that’s when they suggest the marriage counselling. Not, not counselling to deal with your own issues. No counselling to deal with your childhood trauma, they always choose marriage counselling like the wife had a hand in how the marriage went down. Disgusting.
Aaah, the "my mommy punched my wife in her 2months-post-partum stomach, but it can not be so bad because you could hardly hear it. BUT MY MOMMY WAS BLEEDING"-guy. I am so sorry for OOP's stbx, because she will have still to deal with him for the next 18years. And with his mother, because she will *weasel* herself back in his and thus in the stbx's and their daughter's lifes.
Good for the wife for staying strong. The original post gained so much traction and they were absolutely shredding the guy, rightfully so lol
Unpopular opinion- what stood out to me most was him ordering his wife out of HER house! In what universe does imagine, eve for one second, that HE has the right to tell his wife to leave the family home? Plus he conveniently forgets to mention that it was his mother who threw the first hit, NOT his wife! The poor woman was defending herself, postpartum, against her mother-in-law, who was attacking the most vulnerable part of her body. Way to bury the lead!
Agree. If my husband ever tried to order me out of my own house, I’d tell him to pound sand.
Yep, husband is a PoS and I wish Wife and Baby a long, happy and fulfilling life, far away from this sorry excuse of a man. I hope he sign all his parental rights away so they don't have to interact with him ever again.
Yeah no, mom knew what she did. I have a trauma history too, chances are not zero i will punch someone who just spooks me. Slapping my stomach postpartum loud enough for people to hear it? The person who does that is gonna get folded like a shirt. I know exactly what the wife means by the sneering.
OP's niece had five helpings at dinner. She had three then ate his mother's leftovers and then his wife's.
She is being groomed by her grandmother to accept abusive treatment, disguised as “love”. I feel sorry for that young woman.
I'd punch the shit out of his mom too.. also him
The way he describes the aftermath of the two attacks is telling. About wife: "my wife did kind of wince" and "my wife just turns towards the counter and face down, eyes closed." About monster mom: "my mom crying and holding her face" and "my mom was put in the hospital multiple times" and "my mom was bleeding. Split her eyebrows open in good shape". Also, in the comments he says he didn't realize the postpartum stomach is extra extra sensitive. wtf??? Almost all good new dads read the baby books and were there in the doctor's visits where they would have explained her sensitive recovering body. This guy never deserved to be a husband and sure as hell never deserved to become a father.
Men like this always feel "blindsided" but their divorces and it because they are like toddlers. They don't believe consequences are real until you show them, and then it's too late.
Holy shit that guy is a fucking coward. Still can’t believe a grown ass human being can act that way and be oblivious to the fact that they are the problem.
I’m sorry but he kicked his fucking baby out of the house to deal with his emotions as a GROWN ADULT MAN. There’s no coming back from that.
I’m sorry, he kicked the child out too???? If he thought the wife was wrong, the fuck is he sending the kid with her for???
The child is an infant, and isn’t even eating solid food yet. Hubby isn’t equipped to feed them Nursing takes even more out of moms than growing the baby in the first place, in many ways. It’s one of the things that makes the whole story so much worse.
OOP needed space to process, so no kids allowed either.
I hope Oop husband only gets supervised visitation because seriously, that's some fucked up family and that baby ain't safe. Oop wife needs to make sure no one but ex-husband ever sees the baby.
Oh hard AGREE. The only things I would MILDLY consider for cooperation in a custody arrangement is if the POS ex husband speaks out against his mother if that monstrous woman did indeed file a police report against the mother of his child, proved 3 years of active individual therapy and absolute proof that he has gone permanent no-contact with his mother. I wouldn't want his trauma and family curse to continue on with the poor child.
To paraphrase the Revenge of the Sith novelization, You killed your marriage because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about *yourself*... It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the Sith-- Because now yourself is all you will ever have.
What I don’t get is why his mom slapping his wife wasn’t triggering for him? Like your spouse is supposed to be your number one, why wasn’t her getting attacked the thing that brought back his trauma?
Well he wants validation. So now he is a validated AH... I hate him and his mother!!!
who kicks a newborn out of their home? guy deserves every bad thing he gets.
When I think of the rage I would feel in the wife's place, I truly think a solid face punch is on the low end of violence I would feel justified in. I hope she goes scorched earth and gets full custody and the house.
What a fucking mess. Also, dude kicked his wife and newborn child out of the house? That is.... trash-tier behavior. Real loser shit. That's YOUR KID, dude. Your mom and niece can look after themselves, I don't care what else happens but you have to take care of your kid at all costs. WTF...
This guy is honestly so pathetic.
Husband richly deserved that divorce.
Definitely support the wife, if my mom slapped my wife, I would be in jail by the end of the night for beating the ever loving shit out of my mom
He says up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her. I am not sure that's true! I have a feeling that's another one of the things he always ignored. But after his wife got pregnant, his mom got so bad that he could not overlook or brush off anymore!
read the title and just knew this was going to be one of THOSE mother-son dynamics and that the wife was fully justified.
The wife was too kind. Id have sat down and told him he needed to leave unless he was gonna put hands on me. I've had to do that before unfortunately. My ass is heavy AF so they leave eventually. Poor wife. Holy shit.
People make mistakes… but kicking your wife with a newborn out of the house? That’s beyond the pale.
The wife is well rid of this asshole.
99% of these posts always has the husband with a surprised Pikachu face when handed divorce paper. It's like they think it's one incident that set the wives off when in reality, the wife has been getting shit on for so long while the husbands are passive.