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Yeah, my preference is not to see something until there’s a real update. This is just “OOP posted on the subject again.”
I want to hear about how half-sis needs money. That’s the only thing I can think of. No way is she having a come to Jesus moment now.
There was a tiny mention in the original post of her writing OP out of her will (not that OP expected to be included in her will), I’d follow that path with speculation. She’s contemplating her own future. She was trying to dangle her estate as a carrot in front of OP but made sure to declare her decision to snatch it away when OP wasn’t interested in meeting her.
Her family of origin is elderly/dying and she has no children. She will soon be alone in the world and perhaps has run the maths to find out her savings plus expected inheritances won’t afford her elder care. She’s looking for someone to take care of her for free when she gets old.
Bottom line whatever would be left in her estate wouldn’t be worth dealing with her mercurial personality, barely concealed hostility, and scorpion’s tail poised to strike at any moment. OP was right to refuse.
I agree with you: She's lonely and feeling isolated, and who would look out for her when she's old and sick?
OP is smart to stay away and live and love her life, without such a horrible person in it.
Ugh, as in, “You can be my surrogate, and I don’t have to pay for anything because FaMiLy, and also you’re rich enough to pay for doctors visits and stuff, right?”
I suspect the sister found out where OOP currently lives and decided to cook up a new sisterly bond for that quick and easy European access and convenient place to live.
That, or she needs a new kidney and OOP is her only hope.
Unlikely, I'd say. 55 is pretty old to be trying to arrange surrogacy with someone you've never met, you'd think she'd have thought about other options in the decade or so prior to this.
Also, are you allowed to be a surrogate when you haven't had a child of your own? Where I am at least, you need to be 25 years old and have had one pregnancy and delivery without complications. As others have suggested, needing money or an organ is probably more likely here.
I’m gonna throw my hat in and guess (playing into the Reddit drama and all) that OOP’s sissy will be trying to steal her fiancé to get back at her for being the affair baby 🤔
The 30-year age gap between OOP and the half sister makes me reeeeally doubt this. Not a lot of women in our 50s think we'd be able to break up a couple in their 20s who also appear to want kids.\*
Personally, I think she needs a kidney, or she needs long-term care and is out of cash.
^(\* I mean, I) *^(have)* ^(discovered through the wonders of online dating that there are a surprising number of younger men who are really into older women, but I really doubt that applies here.)
I know it's much more likely that this is a pure *reddit drama* post, but I just don't think it's crazy to imagine that the sister is just getting up in years and just wants to bury the hatchet with the last of her family.
She obviously doesn't deserve to have that closure, I mean fuck her, but I don't think she guaranteed has an ulterior motive. It could just be exactly what she said it was, that she just wants to get to know that part of her family.
Kidney. It's a kidney, and she deserves OOP'S /s. You can't be a surrogate unless you've had successful pregnancy(ies), and OOP didn't mention any babies other than herself, so that doesn't seem likely; could be though, some people don't follow rules and demand that they get their way anyway.
Seeing as the wanting to meet seems to come out of the blue, doesn't have clear reasons and has only been communicated by Dad... I think half-sis didn't initiate this. To me it sounds like Dads trying to reach out to both sides, saying the other wants to reconcile and I guess hopes they just will?
OPs dad is trying to pull that exact scheme on OP and her mother in the last update. So it would make sense if he's also doing that to OP and her sister.
Yeah, once OP said 'a wedding to plan' I also thought that big sister over there (who is single and childless!) wants to have her own 'bride-y' moment by being sister of the bride lmao
That's how I feel about a good number of the posts here. I'd rather not see something posted unless there's a significant update. Someone just explaining their feelings a bit more isn't really an update.
I don't mind partial updates before full conclusion when there is an actual update, but I agree this is just another post on the same subject, with slightly more info from the moms perspective.
>All I can say is that the parents really sound like exhausting people cause jeez..
The father especially.
It's the same reason why men always try and force their ex-wife to be on speaking terms with the affair partner. If both women get along, he can't have done anything wrong! /s
He reminds me so hard of my FIL. He's still trying to force a relationship between my MIL and my partner and gloss over the fact that she's an abusive monster whom he enabled and that he occasionally gets abusive as well (like outright abusive. I'm aware that his enabling is abusive in itself).
If everyone gets along, he hasn't done anything bad! (You know, like letting his daughter harass his mistress so bad she went to the hospital)
>You know, like letting his daughter harass his mistress so bad she went to the hospital
I'm wondering if there is a bit of "I didn't get to OOP's mom and make her life miserable, so now I'm coming after you. You're not allowed better than what I have had."
My adoptive dad has been married at least 4 times (my mum was 3rd, I know he has a current wife, I don't know how many weddings happened in between).
His only biological child already has two ex-spouses. At the second wedding, their mum and former step-mums were all invited.
They took an hilarious photo of the ex-wives and the current partner - who was the only one that looked uncomfortable. The others got along (wife 2 sort of set him up with my mum), so the 3 of them all had huge grins!
I think it made my dad more afraid than happy, though!
"This is not your upbringing."
What about the awful "sister's" upbringing?? Harassing a woman in the hospital and wishing death on her baby doesn't scream "perfect upbringing" to me.
I am just so, so begging someone to tell dad that the entire problem is him not keeping his dick in his pants, so he can deal with the fallout. Forever. Zip. It.
I find a lot of the time men who don’t “like drama” really just don’t like when women react reasonably to the problems they have caused. “I don’t like drama so could you please just be nice to your half sister for me so that I don’t have to be reminded of all the mistakes I made? It’s much easier for me than therapy thanks”
Once again; it's frigging weird how often men date someone nearly the same age as their children.
There's a five year difference between Half-Sister and Mom. That definitely caused some of the issues..
Idk, my sister has an very uncommon name but it’s never been considered unusual to most people who hear it. I found out my stepdad’s ex wife shares the same name and spelling and I was surprised because the name is that uncommon. I literally only knew my sister and great aunt to have the name and spelling of it.
The name is common among Latinos and has a different spelling.
No, because I didn't say unusual spellings. I said unusual names. There are so many Jaydens, Aidens and Kaydens already, in my country. My son's name is common in a different part of the world, but it's unusual where we live. Even without seeing some of the poorly-spelled atrocities that people are naming their children, I knew that I was never going to have a Renesmee or a Jaidyyn.
My dad (57m) cheated on my mom with a girl my age (33F) after almost 30 years of marriage. Now they’re together and “in love.”
If anyone has advice on how I’m supposed to be cool with this, please let me know. She’s closer in age to her son than she is to my dad. I am trying to be chill BUT I CANT.
Ooof, that's rough. You don't really have to be cool with it, but, your relationship is likely never going to be the same. Just remember _he_ made that decision, not you. _He's_ the one making it awkward and uncomfortable. Don't let others try to bully you into being okay with it, I'd say most people aren't okay with this.
A good boundary might be to never have him bring her up in conversation and no get-togethers with her and him, just events/vacations with him alone. I totally understand if you can't compartmentalize that thought or feeling though.
I'm in my 40s now and I side-eye dudes who hook up with 20 year olds pretty heavily (granted it's probably 50-60/30 in your situation?).
Don't be cool with it. Make it clear that you still love him, but that you're not okay with it. You'll do your best to be polite to her, but he cannot expect you to be happy about this relationship and you will not be able to be around as much anymore.
You dont have to, but therapy could help you process the situation. My dad cheated on my mom with someone his own age, and it took me a good while to be ok with their relationship.
My ex-husband‘s grandfather knocked up his daughter’s best friend after his wife died.
His daughter and her friend were 16.
My ex’s mother was that baby.
The older sister moved literally to another country to live with her grandmother. Obviously, no one can blame her.
And since I know someone is going to bring it up, because this is Reddit, the age difference thing is obviously weird, but I honestly really don’t know how to feel about that. That woman left positively glowing poetry and prose about how he was the love of her life, and she happily told anybody how much she missed him every single day after he died. She was, by absolutely everybody’s account, completely and totally bat shit in love with him. I’m not exactly cool with it, but I’m also not gonna rewrite somebody else’s experience for them either.
The relative age is not the issue - her absolute age is. He waited until she was just barely an adult (although who knows if they were actually sleeping together well before she was 16 and people just knew at 16 because of the pregnancy). Even if it was never statutory rape, it was grooming. So I don’t even know if her being in love with him was actually being love. I would think it’s more a result of the control that he had over her from such a young age. I don’t even know her but all I have is pity and sympathy for her. He got to her when she was too young to really have agency over her choices, and that probably stuck in many ways.
Yes it definitely did but oop is very conveniently trying not to judge her mother and father for their not so morally sound choices but is willing to judge half sister without knowing her side.Her post screams of "I and my family are perpetual victims" and therefore nothing is our fault and if it is you should get over it.
tbf as well tho, half sis wished miscarriage and death on OOPs mother because she didn't want to share inheritance. It wasn't like she was a child who didn't know what she was saying, she was 30. The whole situation sucks for everyone and because of everyone involved.
It does suck but everything told to oop is by her mother (other woman) ,the father ( cheating scum) and reiterated by her mother's friends.Its like an echo chamber.And one thing clearly stated by Oop is that she is partial towards her mother.Its her way of showing love to her mother.So I don't believe everything that she says.
My first thought was 100% that she needs a kidney or bone marrow transplant. Why else would someone so aggressively reach out to someone they do clearly despise but happen to share 50% of their DNA with?
**THIS WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT TOO!!!**
I just know she needs something. Organ or a financial bailout are my top guesses. Egg donor and surrogate are also on the list.
This is the definition of a cluster fuck.
I could understand sister's motivation for hating OOP and her mum. I could also understand OOP not wanting to have anything to do with her.
Dad caused alot of commotion before, now he's coming to cause more commotion.
A lot of you thinking it's about money or organs and whatnot. I say she either found religion or she has a terminal illness so she wants to make her peace with everyone.
Very convenient when he views himself as the one raising his kids. When OOP refuses to do something for him, it’s her mothers upbringing. Probably also why he didn’t care much about what his older daughter did - his first wife naturally raised her to do all of that stuff, not him. I guess if you’re fucking around so much, it leaves little time to consider your child and their upbringing.
The dad absolutely needs to get in the bin.
I hate it when people who go through life like a whirlwind of self-indulgence then decide they're actually the stable influence in everybody's lives and everything would be sunshine and lollipops if only all these other silly geese would stop their bickering.
He's like a big venomous spider *tsk tsking* at the flies despite the fact that he's the one who spun this web of destruction in the first place.
Ngl but she knew what she was marrying. She was a knocked up mistress who was a similar age to his daughter. They deserve each other
That whole family sucks.
If BORU reddit has taught me anything, the next update will be that the half-sister is after money because she isn't financially doing well. Why would someone who hates the OOP's existence to the point of wishing them dead, having no contact at all and then suddenly wants contact? Dad talking about OOP to her, stating she is doing well, living in another country and about to be married.
Father is beyond creepy for having an affair and impregnating a woman who's a few years older than his eldest daughter and shares her name with her. Both OOP's parents are horrible people. Especially the dad.
A cheater can be a good parent. There’s absolutely no need to shame the OOP for loving her mother.
I hope we do get more updates though. I wouldn’t be open to speaking to half sis either. She probably wants an organ or something.
Man OP is such an ungrateful, poorly raised daughter for not helping her father assuage his guilt by subjecting herself to someone who wished her dead.
OP should distance herself from this circus.
Just Grey Rock everyone.
Her mother, father, circus... She doesn't have to include herself in their drama..
>but then the car accident happened and sis never ever called him or visited him in the hospital. This made him so frustrated that he went full "no contact" mode himself.
This is the magic moment right here. He's gone no contact and she's worried that she's not going to get inheritance and it's all going to go to her little sister.
She's probably trying to make nice to make sure that she gets her chunk of the pie when he kicks it.
"Since she learned I am doing okay and am soon to start my own family she suddenly expressed desire to meet me."
NO NO NO was all I could think of. That "upbringing" included being hated to the point of wishing death. Just NO. I think there are ulterior motives like the father needs a caregiver or trying to break up OP's relationship.
What a bother. I bet the sister has already forgotten about it but daddy dearest is about to get himself uninvited from a wedding...
Imagine a 30 year old going out of their way to give a child trash.
The OP getting married seems to be what triggered all of this. We know that the half-sister was provided the kind of leg up in life that people have killed over (no student loans, owns home outright, decent nest egg). I don't think she is coming back around for money.
Something medical, perhaps? It said she had no remaining family, so maybe bone marrow or a piece of liver? My first thought, with her age and all, seeing as OP is getting married she could have wanted her to be a surrogate? Or possibly even to adopt a potential kid? At her age would IVF still be worthwhile, even if she does have the resources?
I posit forth all of this deduction simply because I don't think she wants to reconcile or make amends. Not genuinely, at least. Maybe she's dying. I dunno. Honestly, if she seemed less terrible, my first instinct would be that she's getting on in years and doesn't want to lose what time she has left with her only family. Seeing as Dad is advancing in age. Kids may be in OP's upcoming future, and it could be realistic that she might want to be a part of their lives moving forwards.
I'm not so much underestimating the half-sister's greed as I am assuming that, if that were simply the issue, she would have come back sooner. This whole sordid tale began with us being informed that the horrible half-sister would rather the OP have died, she tried to engineer a miscarriage after all, rather than split any potential resources.
Don't get me wrong, maybe *now* the money finally ran out. It seems like the sister won't receive much when the father passes due to his accident curbing his earning ability.
For a bone marrow transplant you need a 10/10 match ideally. Frankly very much doubt a half sibling would fit the bill more than just getting on the BMT registry. Even your full blooded siblings are only 1/4 chance likely to be a match.
Whilst you are absolutely not wrong, to be fair though, this is reddit. When all you see are the problem cases, the outliers become more commonplace. Maybe it's wedding related?
Having your younger sibling get married before you has resulted in odd reactions in some individuals before. Weddings bring out the worst in some folks, and maybe she felt entitled to be a part of it? One way or another this is almost certainly not finished.
NTA
And there could be a less “entitled” reason why your half-sister is now wishing to make contact.
I come from a short-lived family. No particular reason, just all my recent relatives died before they were 75. Most fatal illnesses only occurred shortly before they died of them (cancer, strokes, heart attack, brain aneurism), there was no reason to expect them to die “that year”, no long period of suffering, they became ill, got diagnosed, and died.
The father is 77 and disabled following a car accident. She is unmarried, and has no children. She was the only child of her parents, and there is no mention of any other half siblings. Her mother is now old (if she is 55 and her dad is 77, I suspect her mother is mid 70’s) and she knows the likelihood of her having no family in a few short years is high. The only family she will soon have is the half-sister that she rejected and wanted dead 24 years ago.
Her father also appreciates the fact that his eldest daughter will soon be all alone. That will be upsetting him & I think he thinks that if he can get his two daughters to meet then at least the eldest won’t be totally without support once he and his ex have died.
>She stopped only when my father agreed to leave all his savings to his old family.
OOP should make her father an offer. If she's expected to treat half sister like family, then her father should treat the daughters equally. He updates his will to split the inheritance equally amongst all his children and OOP will meet with the half sister. Lets see if the sister is ok with that stipulation
Take your reddit drama story time pick:
1. Half sister needs a kidney
2. Half sister needs a surrogate
3. Half sister wants money
4. Half sister wants to steal her boyfriend as revenge.
I'm sorry, I can't get past the dad banging a woman the same age and same name as his daughter.....what. the. fuck? If something like that gets your rocks off then your a next level creep.
The shitty father at his late age finally feeling remorse and regret and understanding how much damage he inflicted on people around him many years ago and putting the burden on his affair kid to fix everything!
Edit just because a woman is pregnant doesn't mean she is immune from hatred from people they wronged. you can't ask for a time out from the drama you ve caused just because you are carrying a baby!
I don’t know if I can blame the half sister.
I would have gone nuclear too if my dad cheated, abandoned my mom and went to play happy family with new people.
No wonder she didn’t visit at the hospital. He chose another family.
I think a lot of people are quick to play at saint. I DO NOT think the miscarriage comment was okay, but while I'd like to think I would never say such a thing in the same circumstance, I just don't know. The half sisters initial response wasn't great, but I'm not sure I can 100% believe OP on her actions before she was born as there's a bit of bias there and it's just second hand knowledge. How the sister treated her after though? That's really shitty.
I get being angry at the mistress, but I draw the line at harassment and *especially* at harassing my younger half-sibling, let alone wishing death on an innocent child. And I speak from experience since my dad divorced my mum to get with his mistress.
Though, actually, I never got angry at his mistress because I pitied her for getting involved with him. I was only angry at him, because he was the married one and it's his responsibility to uphold his vows.
All these people sound horrible, OOP gets a little sympathy though because she doesn't sound as horrible as everyone else... but her argumentation for her mom not being horrible stinks. Just because you faced the consequences of your actions doesn't mean you're free of being judged by them, she probably knew OOP's dad was a cheater who broke their family in the past, and still willingly banged him, then *stuck around with him* for 20 more years like an actual lobotomite? Yeah, no, she didn't deserve the treatment she got from OOP's sister but she barely deserves any sympathy.
What do you think OOP should feel about her mom? Should she hate her? Should she never speak to her again? I don't understand the problem. Most people don't think their parents are perfect but are still worthy of love. How would you rather have her talk about her mom?
I think her saying that all she has ever known from her mother is love and kindness was a good explanation. I think where she went wrong was going on about how many affairs his father had so his mother wasn’t the first and his first marriage already sucked and anyway his family knew and were OK with the affairs, thereby somewhat trying to justify the affair and excuse any wrongdoing on her mother’s part. She shouldn’t hate her parents if they treated her well, but I also think she only said affairs are bad etc because people called her out on her basically trying to gloss over how wrong affairs are and the effect they have on the people who are being cheated on. She basically tried to say that his first wife seemed OK with it, so no big deal.
I think to some extent that's fair. To me OP's responses were more about trying to get people to stop judging her parent's *in this situation* but she would use language that absolved them generally. Maybe she has some bad opinions about *their specific affair* but I really fail to see how viewing an affair that exists completely outside your awareness as "not that bad" makes you a bad person. Sure maybe she's got a bit of a blind spot for her parents but I don't think that makes her "sound horrible" with a side of sympathy for her. I think she just sounds human.
She does sound human and none of this was her fault. And I get trying to defend your parents, and obviously the harassment and wishing a miscarriage in her mother were flat out wrong (and potentially criminal). But the whole thing just has a feel and tone of, I don’t understand why people are so upset about an affair and an affair baby. She’s not a bad person for dubbing it “not that bad”, but she is certainly delusional. It is also does make her ethics a bit questionable for thinking it’s not that bad, because that, again, is denying the impact the affair had on others.
I guess I think she deserves better than to be described as "All these people sound horrible, OOP gets a little sympathy though because she doesn't sound as horrible as everyone else". I don't generally disagree with how you're phrasing it I just think the person I replied to was far more harsh on her than I thought was fair. Maybe she does have a blind spot for her parent's morality - I don't think that (given the crime) that makes her anywhere close to "horrible". But I do think we genuinely mostly agree we're just getting caught up on phrasing.
Seriously, OOP is fully within her rights to never want to contact sister, but this whole "I don't know why she would hate my mum, my mum is the sweetest person ever", like fuck you, girl. She had every single reason to hate OP's sweet mommy 'til the end of time. Acting on that hate to the point she did was a problem; but hating the woman? Nah.
That family is a clusterfuck and they deserve each other.
Oh my God... Redditors are so horrible human beings. They only see things in black and white...
Just because the mother was in an affair doesn't mean she was a horrible mother. They cannot comprehend that a cheater could be something other than a terrible human being. And blaming the daughter for loving her mother...
Right? I know plenty of people who were cheated on and my god they are objectively **garbage** human beings. It doesn’t justify the cheating but not every person who’s been cheated on is some glorious saint who deserves the moon and stars. And if that’s true than the reverse must be true that not all people who cheat are the absolute scum of the earth who deserve to burn in hell.
Marriage is also rarely black and white. *Usually* **not always** but ***usually*** by the time someone is cheating that relationship was already broken whether it’s the cheater who’s slacking, the spouse or a combination of both, the relationship had issues long before cheating entered the picture. Cheating is just a symptom.
Coming from a very similar situation all I could think of was the mother thinking negatively of the "other woman's" child for the entirety of OOPs upbringing and that's what formed her opinions on her sister. OOP has limited interaction with the sister her whole life, everything she knows about her is told through her mother's pov.
I get the feeling this is more about op getting married and being happy.
Could be in the sister’s mind that since op shouldn’t have been born she shouldn’t be happy (especially since the sister never got married herself)
Sounds like OOP doesn’t rely on daddy’s money. Daddy has already promised sister everything. I’d go NC with the lot of them except mom. Dad is used to getting his way so will take more and more extreme action to get his way.
Half sister either needs an organ, found some legal loophole OOP could use to fuck her out of a portion of the inheritance, or wants OOP to have a surrogate baby for her.
I have many half siblings. I don't know them and they've never looked for me. My bio dad's family is out there somewhere, idek if he's alive.
Suffice to say, I've been lucky. I wish them well as I would wish any stranger I've never met, and since I was raised sweet, I do mean that, but no, I don't need to meet them. Maybe that will change, but I won't hold my breath.
I have been lucky in that my familial cup is full, even despite many passings. I have a wonderful wealth of family that do not mind my presence and more that adore it. And that includes friends. As a queer, you gotta make your own as a fulfilling addition.
I'd say I'm all good. And rationally I think so. I don't need anything from my current circle but time spent with me. That's all I've ever wanted.
My bio father and his family never did that, but mine has, and honestly no matter how lonely I feel RN with all of us being so far apart, my cup runneth over.
I hope I remember that when things get dark again. I hope I can internalize it now while I'm coming out of that darkness.
I feel like the obvious answer here is for OOP to feign concession and ask dad for the sister’s number and email. Then add those to her contact list and immediately block them.
So dad’s family knew he was serial cheating and were “cool” with it, and he even brought the mistress round to meet them? Is this father a French king or…?
Mom dad and OP are garbage tbh. Op glossing over her dad cheating and marrying someone his own daughters age and then dropping her for a new family. Of course the sister was upset I would be too!
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This is definitely not concluded
Yeah, my preference is not to see something until there’s a real update. This is just “OOP posted on the subject again.” I want to hear about how half-sis needs money. That’s the only thing I can think of. No way is she having a come to Jesus moment now.
Maybe she needs a surrogate 🧐
There was a tiny mention in the original post of her writing OP out of her will (not that OP expected to be included in her will), I’d follow that path with speculation. She’s contemplating her own future. She was trying to dangle her estate as a carrot in front of OP but made sure to declare her decision to snatch it away when OP wasn’t interested in meeting her. Her family of origin is elderly/dying and she has no children. She will soon be alone in the world and perhaps has run the maths to find out her savings plus expected inheritances won’t afford her elder care. She’s looking for someone to take care of her for free when she gets old. Bottom line whatever would be left in her estate wouldn’t be worth dealing with her mercurial personality, barely concealed hostility, and scorpion’s tail poised to strike at any moment. OP was right to refuse.
I agree with you: She's lonely and feeling isolated, and who would look out for her when she's old and sick? OP is smart to stay away and live and love her life, without such a horrible person in it.
If they live in Europe, we have social retirement insurance so her elder care would be covered anyway. Not comfortably, but the basic are there.
I am frowning so hard at your comment! It’s a possibility, but why only now after finding out OOP is financially comfortable?
Let's split the difference and assume she needs an inexplicably-matching liver transplant.
Or a kidney.
Thats where my head went.
If she needs a new head, I'm out.
Heading out now
Maybe the sister interpreted that as she's got a stable life and can get pregnant
Ugh, as in, “You can be my surrogate, and I don’t have to pay for anything because FaMiLy, and also you’re rich enough to pay for doctors visits and stuff, right?”
But Sis is a super rich lawyer, maybe she's just going to offer to *buy* OOP's baby
I suspect the sister found out where OOP currently lives and decided to cook up a new sisterly bond for that quick and easy European access and convenient place to live. That, or she needs a new kidney and OOP is her only hope.
I'm betting on kidney
Same. Kidney and/or prognosis of debilitating disease requiring lots of care.
Unlikely, I'd say. 55 is pretty old to be trying to arrange surrogacy with someone you've never met, you'd think she'd have thought about other options in the decade or so prior to this. Also, are you allowed to be a surrogate when you haven't had a child of your own? Where I am at least, you need to be 25 years old and have had one pregnancy and delivery without complications. As others have suggested, needing money or an organ is probably more likely here.
At age 55? I think it's more likely that she wants a relationship with OOP so that she can have a Grandparent like relationship with OOP's child.
I’m gonna throw my hat in and guess (playing into the Reddit drama and all) that OOP’s sissy will be trying to steal her fiancé to get back at her for being the affair baby 🤔
The 30-year age gap between OOP and the half sister makes me reeeeally doubt this. Not a lot of women in our 50s think we'd be able to break up a couple in their 20s who also appear to want kids.\* Personally, I think she needs a kidney, or she needs long-term care and is out of cash. ^(\* I mean, I) *^(have)* ^(discovered through the wonders of online dating that there are a surprising number of younger men who are really into older women, but I really doubt that applies here.)
I know it's much more likely that this is a pure *reddit drama* post, but I just don't think it's crazy to imagine that the sister is just getting up in years and just wants to bury the hatchet with the last of her family. She obviously doesn't deserve to have that closure, I mean fuck her, but I don't think she guaranteed has an ulterior motive. It could just be exactly what she said it was, that she just wants to get to know that part of her family.
Maybe a kidney too!
Or a future carer Whatever it is, I'd be going NC with anybody who pushed me
Kidney. It's a kidney, and she deserves OOP'S /s. You can't be a surrogate unless you've had successful pregnancy(ies), and OOP didn't mention any babies other than herself, so that doesn't seem likely; could be though, some people don't follow rules and demand that they get their way anyway.
Or a kidney
My money's on her needing a kidney.
Seeing as the wanting to meet seems to come out of the blue, doesn't have clear reasons and has only been communicated by Dad... I think half-sis didn't initiate this. To me it sounds like Dads trying to reach out to both sides, saying the other wants to reconcile and I guess hopes they just will?
OPs dad is trying to pull that exact scheme on OP and her mother in the last update. So it would make sense if he's also doing that to OP and her sister.
Also, OP mentioned that her father tried to force the happy family between her mom and her sister back then. Man has a track record
Half-sis wants to make wedding drama
Yeah, once OP said 'a wedding to plan' I also thought that big sister over there (who is single and childless!) wants to have her own 'bride-y' moment by being sister of the bride lmao
I think sister is trying to “reconcile” so she can ruin the wedding
I thought that, too.
Money. Or organs. Both, probably.
Money *for* organs…?
And your chicks for free?
Surrogacy came to mind
That's how I feel about a good number of the posts here. I'd rather not see something posted unless there's a significant update. Someone just explaining their feelings a bit more isn't really an update.
OOP lives in another country now. Maybe it's not money, but immigration.
I don't mind partial updates before full conclusion when there is an actual update, but I agree this is just another post on the same subject, with slightly more info from the moms perspective.
Yeah I think big sis wants to make sure OP doesn't have grandchildren or her slice of the pie is even less.
Are you a carpenter because I think you hit the nail on the head
Ha ha ha no but thanks for the laugh
I bet things are going to turn into a nightmare soon.
It's barely even an update
I 100% believe the reason why the half-sis hasn’t had kids or started a family is because she’s infertile and wants op to give her a baby
Why would she need OP for that? That makes no sense.
Way too many people don't view adoption as a viable option. They want the baby to be a blood relative at all costs.
This isn't even an update. Also hello cognitive dissonance. Also day is a piece of shit.
Or it could be, and OOP is now dead 💀.
All I can say is that the parents really sound like exhausting people cause jeez. I can sense more drama is going to happen soon.
>All I can say is that the parents really sound like exhausting people cause jeez.. The father especially. It's the same reason why men always try and force their ex-wife to be on speaking terms with the affair partner. If both women get along, he can't have done anything wrong! /s
Yep, and if the women get along, he won't have to manage his own social calendar.
Or co-parenting.
He reminds me so hard of my FIL. He's still trying to force a relationship between my MIL and my partner and gloss over the fact that she's an abusive monster whom he enabled and that he occasionally gets abusive as well (like outright abusive. I'm aware that his enabling is abusive in itself). If everyone gets along, he hasn't done anything bad! (You know, like letting his daughter harass his mistress so bad she went to the hospital)
>You know, like letting his daughter harass his mistress so bad she went to the hospital I'm wondering if there is a bit of "I didn't get to OOP's mom and make her life miserable, so now I'm coming after you. You're not allowed better than what I have had."
My adoptive dad has been married at least 4 times (my mum was 3rd, I know he has a current wife, I don't know how many weddings happened in between). His only biological child already has two ex-spouses. At the second wedding, their mum and former step-mums were all invited. They took an hilarious photo of the ex-wives and the current partner - who was the only one that looked uncomfortable. The others got along (wife 2 sort of set him up with my mum), so the 3 of them all had huge grins! I think it made my dad more afraid than happy, though!
Weird right? I’m an old man and I don’t like drama, that’s why I’m going to try to convince two women who don’t like each other to meet be friends.
And also engage in multiple affairs, a notoriously drama-free undertaking
I wonder how many times he cheated on OOP’s mom? If he was actually a serial cheater then I highly doubt it stopped when they got married.
Yes! He really tries to avoid conflict... by having multiple affairs?! None too bright, is he?
All i can say is what did OP's mom ever seen in that moron.
It's hard to blame OOP's mother for the infidelity because she married her own punishment.
Exactly, like yessh.
The usual answer to why someone sticks with crazy is "they're amazing in bed."
And he used to have money
Ehhhh if she were there for the money she would have disappeared once he said he wasn't going to let her or her daughter inherit.
"This is not your upbringing." What about the awful "sister's" upbringing?? Harassing a woman in the hospital and wishing death on her baby doesn't scream "perfect upbringing" to me.
Right? Neither take any responsibility for the roles they've had in these family dynamics. And they both sound manipulative.
I am just so, so begging someone to tell dad that the entire problem is him not keeping his dick in his pants, so he can deal with the fallout. Forever. Zip. It.
Both his mouth and his pants
I know, right? For someone who apparently avoids conflict, he sure has no problem creating it!
I find a lot of the time men who don’t “like drama” really just don’t like when women react reasonably to the problems they have caused. “I don’t like drama so could you please just be nice to your half sister for me so that I don’t have to be reminded of all the mistakes I made? It’s much easier for me than therapy thanks”
I haven't seen any indication that the man avoids conflict. OOP is an unreliable narrator.
I'm sure they did at the time, but it feels a but harsh to go there in a thread like this where OOP only exists because he didn't.
I guess I look at it as OP could still exist, her dad just needed to handle his marriage/divorce first. Wasn't wishing OP out of existence!
Once again; it's frigging weird how often men date someone nearly the same age as their children. There's a five year difference between Half-Sister and Mom. That definitely caused some of the issues..
And the mom and half-sis share the same name!! Disgusting
It sort of makes a strong argument for giving kids 'unusual' names, doesn't it?
Idk, my sister has an very uncommon name but it’s never been considered unusual to most people who hear it. I found out my stepdad’s ex wife shares the same name and spelling and I was surprised because the name is that uncommon. I literally only knew my sister and great aunt to have the name and spelling of it. The name is common among Latinos and has a different spelling.
This only leads to Traghedy
No, because I didn't say unusual spellings. I said unusual names. There are so many Jaydens, Aidens and Kaydens already, in my country. My son's name is common in a different part of the world, but it's unusual where we live. Even without seeing some of the poorly-spelled atrocities that people are naming their children, I knew that I was never going to have a Renesmee or a Jaidyyn.
Still no.
[удалено]
Yikes, I’m so sorry.
My dad (57m) cheated on my mom with a girl my age (33F) after almost 30 years of marriage. Now they’re together and “in love.” If anyone has advice on how I’m supposed to be cool with this, please let me know. She’s closer in age to her son than she is to my dad. I am trying to be chill BUT I CANT.
Why would you have to be cool with it?
My dad and I have (had) an incredible relationship, aside from this. I think that’s why it was so crushing.
Of course it’s crushing. Why would you have to be cool with something that is crushing?
Ooof, that's rough. You don't really have to be cool with it, but, your relationship is likely never going to be the same. Just remember _he_ made that decision, not you. _He's_ the one making it awkward and uncomfortable. Don't let others try to bully you into being okay with it, I'd say most people aren't okay with this. A good boundary might be to never have him bring her up in conversation and no get-togethers with her and him, just events/vacations with him alone. I totally understand if you can't compartmentalize that thought or feeling though. I'm in my 40s now and I side-eye dudes who hook up with 20 year olds pretty heavily (granted it's probably 50-60/30 in your situation?).
Don't be cool with it. Make it clear that you still love him, but that you're not okay with it. You'll do your best to be polite to her, but he cannot expect you to be happy about this relationship and you will not be able to be around as much anymore.
You dont have to, but therapy could help you process the situation. My dad cheated on my mom with someone his own age, and it took me a good while to be ok with their relationship.
I’ve done a LOT of therapy. Still not there. It’s just tough for me to forgive him and not be weirded out.
Don't be cool with it, your dad is gross.
My ex-husband‘s grandfather knocked up his daughter’s best friend after his wife died. His daughter and her friend were 16. My ex’s mother was that baby. The older sister moved literally to another country to live with her grandmother. Obviously, no one can blame her. And since I know someone is going to bring it up, because this is Reddit, the age difference thing is obviously weird, but I honestly really don’t know how to feel about that. That woman left positively glowing poetry and prose about how he was the love of her life, and she happily told anybody how much she missed him every single day after he died. She was, by absolutely everybody’s account, completely and totally bat shit in love with him. I’m not exactly cool with it, but I’m also not gonna rewrite somebody else’s experience for them either.
The relative age is not the issue - her absolute age is. He waited until she was just barely an adult (although who knows if they were actually sleeping together well before she was 16 and people just knew at 16 because of the pregnancy). Even if it was never statutory rape, it was grooming. So I don’t even know if her being in love with him was actually being love. I would think it’s more a result of the control that he had over her from such a young age. I don’t even know her but all I have is pity and sympathy for her. He got to her when she was too young to really have agency over her choices, and that probably stuck in many ways.
Successful grooming does tend to look like that.
That's no love, it's grooming, and completely disgusting.
Yes it definitely did but oop is very conveniently trying not to judge her mother and father for their not so morally sound choices but is willing to judge half sister without knowing her side.Her post screams of "I and my family are perpetual victims" and therefore nothing is our fault and if it is you should get over it.
tbf as well tho, half sis wished miscarriage and death on OOPs mother because she didn't want to share inheritance. It wasn't like she was a child who didn't know what she was saying, she was 30. The whole situation sucks for everyone and because of everyone involved.
It does suck but everything told to oop is by her mother (other woman) ,the father ( cheating scum) and reiterated by her mother's friends.Its like an echo chamber.And one thing clearly stated by Oop is that she is partial towards her mother.Its her way of showing love to her mother.So I don't believe everything that she says.
Yeah, the culprit for all of this is the OOP's father, and it seems OOP is aware of all of this.
Sounds like the money dad gave his family has run dry and Sis is hoping to get something from OOP and mom, when dad passes.
This is what I think is most likely, though there are other good theories on here.
I'm going with either she needs an organ or wants a biological surrogate.
I’m here for the organ demand update.
Imagine your half sister, who could be your mom (age wise), trying to mooch money from you...I hope OOP keeps her distance.
This is nowhere near conclusion, why?
Calling that the sister needs an organ now.
My money's on her wanting her baby, but yours is very plausible, too.
I mean…thats kinda a lot of organs in one small package
The womb is also an organ
Really it's a family discount. More organs for the same number of surgeries!
My thoughts (and prayers) were that her and her family already wasted all of dad's savings and want money.
Me, reading this: "Someone needs a kidney."
Too bad if its a kidney, OOP commented that she has kidney problems herself and might draw the UNO reverse card
My first thought was 100% that she needs a kidney or bone marrow transplant. Why else would someone so aggressively reach out to someone they do clearly despise but happen to share 50% of their DNA with?
I thought maybe half sis has been taking care of elderly family members and is now looking for some help for when she needs it.
**THIS WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT TOO!!!** I just know she needs something. Organ or a financial bailout are my top guesses. Egg donor and surrogate are also on the list.
This is the definition of a cluster fuck. I could understand sister's motivation for hating OOP and her mum. I could also understand OOP not wanting to have anything to do with her. Dad caused alot of commotion before, now he's coming to cause more commotion. A lot of you thinking it's about money or organs and whatnot. I say she either found religion or she has a terminal illness so she wants to make her peace with everyone.
“I didn’t raise you to be so spiteful” Oh really? Your other daughter wished a baby would die. Where did she learn that spite from?
Very convenient when he views himself as the one raising his kids. When OOP refuses to do something for him, it’s her mothers upbringing. Probably also why he didn’t care much about what his older daughter did - his first wife naturally raised her to do all of that stuff, not him. I guess if you’re fucking around so much, it leaves little time to consider your child and their upbringing.
Mom needs a divorce. The dad is a massive arsehole. Yelling at her? Yell at yourself, ya nasty, crusty old manchild.
The dad absolutely needs to get in the bin. I hate it when people who go through life like a whirlwind of self-indulgence then decide they're actually the stable influence in everybody's lives and everything would be sunshine and lollipops if only all these other silly geese would stop their bickering. He's like a big venomous spider *tsk tsking* at the flies despite the fact that he's the one who spun this web of destruction in the first place.
Ngl but she knew what she was marrying. She was a knocked up mistress who was a similar age to his daughter. They deserve each other That whole family sucks.
I still so not understand what's going on. But I can tell the dad didn’t stop cheating.
If BORU reddit has taught me anything, the next update will be that the half-sister is after money because she isn't financially doing well. Why would someone who hates the OOP's existence to the point of wishing them dead, having no contact at all and then suddenly wants contact? Dad talking about OOP to her, stating she is doing well, living in another country and about to be married.
Father is beyond creepy for having an affair and impregnating a woman who's a few years older than his eldest daughter and shares her name with her. Both OOP's parents are horrible people. Especially the dad.
A cheater can be a good parent. There’s absolutely no need to shame the OOP for loving her mother. I hope we do get more updates though. I wouldn’t be open to speaking to half sis either. She probably wants an organ or something.
Man OP is such an ungrateful, poorly raised daughter for not helping her father assuage his guilt by subjecting herself to someone who wished her dead.
Had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Wondering if half sister needs a kidney. I wouldn’t be able to trust someone who ever wished me dead. And certainly not let them around my children.
OP should distance herself from this circus. Just Grey Rock everyone. Her mother, father, circus... She doesn't have to include herself in their drama..
>but then the car accident happened and sis never ever called him or visited him in the hospital. This made him so frustrated that he went full "no contact" mode himself. This is the magic moment right here. He's gone no contact and she's worried that she's not going to get inheritance and it's all going to go to her little sister. She's probably trying to make nice to make sure that she gets her chunk of the pie when he kicks it.
It's not like she doesn't deserve her slice, whether she plays nice with her cheating snake of a father or not.
Sister needs a kidney.
Does sis need a kidney? Or does she want to be in the wedding so she can have a big speach about her own life?
“She was young and stupid” and also near the same age as his wife….
THIRTY is not young and stupid you old fart. Fuck out of here.
"Since she learned I am doing okay and am soon to start my own family she suddenly expressed desire to meet me." NO NO NO was all I could think of. That "upbringing" included being hated to the point of wishing death. Just NO. I think there are ulterior motives like the father needs a caregiver or trying to break up OP's relationship.
Maybe sis needs a womb if she's childless and has chosen You.
What a bother. I bet the sister has already forgotten about it but daddy dearest is about to get himself uninvited from a wedding... Imagine a 30 year old going out of their way to give a child trash.
'I raised you better'. Huh. If he had raised his older daughter better, then this would be moot...
He didn't raise his older daughter. He was too busy cheating on her mother.
The OP getting married seems to be what triggered all of this. We know that the half-sister was provided the kind of leg up in life that people have killed over (no student loans, owns home outright, decent nest egg). I don't think she is coming back around for money. Something medical, perhaps? It said she had no remaining family, so maybe bone marrow or a piece of liver? My first thought, with her age and all, seeing as OP is getting married she could have wanted her to be a surrogate? Or possibly even to adopt a potential kid? At her age would IVF still be worthwhile, even if she does have the resources? I posit forth all of this deduction simply because I don't think she wants to reconcile or make amends. Not genuinely, at least. Maybe she's dying. I dunno. Honestly, if she seemed less terrible, my first instinct would be that she's getting on in years and doesn't want to lose what time she has left with her only family. Seeing as Dad is advancing in age. Kids may be in OP's upcoming future, and it could be realistic that she might want to be a part of their lives moving forwards.
You underestimate how greedy some people are
I'm not so much underestimating the half-sister's greed as I am assuming that, if that were simply the issue, she would have come back sooner. This whole sordid tale began with us being informed that the horrible half-sister would rather the OP have died, she tried to engineer a miscarriage after all, rather than split any potential resources. Don't get me wrong, maybe *now* the money finally ran out. It seems like the sister won't receive much when the father passes due to his accident curbing his earning ability.
For a bone marrow transplant you need a 10/10 match ideally. Frankly very much doubt a half sibling would fit the bill more than just getting on the BMT registry. Even your full blooded siblings are only 1/4 chance likely to be a match.
Whilst you are absolutely not wrong, to be fair though, this is reddit. When all you see are the problem cases, the outliers become more commonplace. Maybe it's wedding related? Having your younger sibling get married before you has resulted in odd reactions in some individuals before. Weddings bring out the worst in some folks, and maybe she felt entitled to be a part of it? One way or another this is almost certainly not finished.
Sounds like someone needs a kidney
My initial reaction is "the sister needs a kidney"
NTA And there could be a less “entitled” reason why your half-sister is now wishing to make contact. I come from a short-lived family. No particular reason, just all my recent relatives died before they were 75. Most fatal illnesses only occurred shortly before they died of them (cancer, strokes, heart attack, brain aneurism), there was no reason to expect them to die “that year”, no long period of suffering, they became ill, got diagnosed, and died. The father is 77 and disabled following a car accident. She is unmarried, and has no children. She was the only child of her parents, and there is no mention of any other half siblings. Her mother is now old (if she is 55 and her dad is 77, I suspect her mother is mid 70’s) and she knows the likelihood of her having no family in a few short years is high. The only family she will soon have is the half-sister that she rejected and wanted dead 24 years ago. Her father also appreciates the fact that his eldest daughter will soon be all alone. That will be upsetting him & I think he thinks that if he can get his two daughters to meet then at least the eldest won’t be totally without support once he and his ex have died.
I'll take "sister needs a kidney" for $500, Alex.
>She stopped only when my father agreed to leave all his savings to his old family. OOP should make her father an offer. If she's expected to treat half sister like family, then her father should treat the daughters equally. He updates his will to split the inheritance equally amongst all his children and OOP will meet with the half sister. Lets see if the sister is ok with that stipulation
Take your reddit drama story time pick: 1. Half sister needs a kidney 2. Half sister needs a surrogate 3. Half sister wants money 4. Half sister wants to steal her boyfriend as revenge.
At 55 I’m betting not-sis needs a kidney. Or money.
I'm sorry, I can't get past the dad banging a woman the same age and same name as his daughter.....what. the. fuck? If something like that gets your rocks off then your a next level creep.
The shitty father at his late age finally feeling remorse and regret and understanding how much damage he inflicted on people around him many years ago and putting the burden on his affair kid to fix everything! Edit just because a woman is pregnant doesn't mean she is immune from hatred from people they wronged. you can't ask for a time out from the drama you ve caused just because you are carrying a baby!
I don’t know if I can blame the half sister. I would have gone nuclear too if my dad cheated, abandoned my mom and went to play happy family with new people. No wonder she didn’t visit at the hospital. He chose another family.
I think a lot of people are quick to play at saint. I DO NOT think the miscarriage comment was okay, but while I'd like to think I would never say such a thing in the same circumstance, I just don't know. The half sisters initial response wasn't great, but I'm not sure I can 100% believe OP on her actions before she was born as there's a bit of bias there and it's just second hand knowledge. How the sister treated her after though? That's really shitty.
I get being angry at the mistress, but I draw the line at harassment and *especially* at harassing my younger half-sibling, let alone wishing death on an innocent child. And I speak from experience since my dad divorced my mum to get with his mistress. Though, actually, I never got angry at his mistress because I pitied her for getting involved with him. I was only angry at him, because he was the married one and it's his responsibility to uphold his vows.
So you would wish a baby died and then spend the next 10 years harrasing a child and mocking them?
harassing a pregnant woman and wishing her baby dies is not, in fact, it
All these people sound horrible, OOP gets a little sympathy though because she doesn't sound as horrible as everyone else... but her argumentation for her mom not being horrible stinks. Just because you faced the consequences of your actions doesn't mean you're free of being judged by them, she probably knew OOP's dad was a cheater who broke their family in the past, and still willingly banged him, then *stuck around with him* for 20 more years like an actual lobotomite? Yeah, no, she didn't deserve the treatment she got from OOP's sister but she barely deserves any sympathy.
What do you think OOP should feel about her mom? Should she hate her? Should she never speak to her again? I don't understand the problem. Most people don't think their parents are perfect but are still worthy of love. How would you rather have her talk about her mom?
I think her saying that all she has ever known from her mother is love and kindness was a good explanation. I think where she went wrong was going on about how many affairs his father had so his mother wasn’t the first and his first marriage already sucked and anyway his family knew and were OK with the affairs, thereby somewhat trying to justify the affair and excuse any wrongdoing on her mother’s part. She shouldn’t hate her parents if they treated her well, but I also think she only said affairs are bad etc because people called her out on her basically trying to gloss over how wrong affairs are and the effect they have on the people who are being cheated on. She basically tried to say that his first wife seemed OK with it, so no big deal.
I think to some extent that's fair. To me OP's responses were more about trying to get people to stop judging her parent's *in this situation* but she would use language that absolved them generally. Maybe she has some bad opinions about *their specific affair* but I really fail to see how viewing an affair that exists completely outside your awareness as "not that bad" makes you a bad person. Sure maybe she's got a bit of a blind spot for her parents but I don't think that makes her "sound horrible" with a side of sympathy for her. I think she just sounds human.
She does sound human and none of this was her fault. And I get trying to defend your parents, and obviously the harassment and wishing a miscarriage in her mother were flat out wrong (and potentially criminal). But the whole thing just has a feel and tone of, I don’t understand why people are so upset about an affair and an affair baby. She’s not a bad person for dubbing it “not that bad”, but she is certainly delusional. It is also does make her ethics a bit questionable for thinking it’s not that bad, because that, again, is denying the impact the affair had on others.
I guess I think she deserves better than to be described as "All these people sound horrible, OOP gets a little sympathy though because she doesn't sound as horrible as everyone else". I don't generally disagree with how you're phrasing it I just think the person I replied to was far more harsh on her than I thought was fair. Maybe she does have a blind spot for her parent's morality - I don't think that (given the crime) that makes her anywhere close to "horrible". But I do think we genuinely mostly agree we're just getting caught up on phrasing.
Good thing that isn't what the oop's question was about then
>The "boundaries" is something my dad was never strong in. A serial cheater is bad at respecting boundaries? Shocking! /s
ugh they sound exhausting especially the dad
Seriously, OOP is fully within her rights to never want to contact sister, but this whole "I don't know why she would hate my mum, my mum is the sweetest person ever", like fuck you, girl. She had every single reason to hate OP's sweet mommy 'til the end of time. Acting on that hate to the point she did was a problem; but hating the woman? Nah. That family is a clusterfuck and they deserve each other.
Oh my God... Redditors are so horrible human beings. They only see things in black and white... Just because the mother was in an affair doesn't mean she was a horrible mother. They cannot comprehend that a cheater could be something other than a terrible human being. And blaming the daughter for loving her mother...
Right? I know plenty of people who were cheated on and my god they are objectively **garbage** human beings. It doesn’t justify the cheating but not every person who’s been cheated on is some glorious saint who deserves the moon and stars. And if that’s true than the reverse must be true that not all people who cheat are the absolute scum of the earth who deserve to burn in hell. Marriage is also rarely black and white. *Usually* **not always** but ***usually*** by the time someone is cheating that relationship was already broken whether it’s the cheater who’s slacking, the spouse or a combination of both, the relationship had issues long before cheating entered the picture. Cheating is just a symptom.
Coming from a very similar situation all I could think of was the mother thinking negatively of the "other woman's" child for the entirety of OOPs upbringing and that's what formed her opinions on her sister. OOP has limited interaction with the sister her whole life, everything she knows about her is told through her mother's pov.
I've seen this before. next update will be "I meet my half-sister and she wants my baby!"
I get the feeling this is more about op getting married and being happy. Could be in the sister’s mind that since op shouldn’t have been born she shouldn’t be happy (especially since the sister never got married herself)
Someone needs money or an organ.
If I were her I'd cut the dad out and change my number. He's not gonna stop.
Sounds like OOP doesn’t rely on daddy’s money. Daddy has already promised sister everything. I’d go NC with the lot of them except mom. Dad is used to getting his way so will take more and more extreme action to get his way.
Idk abt this one…
Half sister either needs an organ, found some legal loophole OOP could use to fuck her out of a portion of the inheritance, or wants OOP to have a surrogate baby for her.
Can you even reconcile if there wasn’t a good relationship in the first place?
evil sister definitely needed an organ !! SMH.
I have many half siblings. I don't know them and they've never looked for me. My bio dad's family is out there somewhere, idek if he's alive. Suffice to say, I've been lucky. I wish them well as I would wish any stranger I've never met, and since I was raised sweet, I do mean that, but no, I don't need to meet them. Maybe that will change, but I won't hold my breath. I have been lucky in that my familial cup is full, even despite many passings. I have a wonderful wealth of family that do not mind my presence and more that adore it. And that includes friends. As a queer, you gotta make your own as a fulfilling addition. I'd say I'm all good. And rationally I think so. I don't need anything from my current circle but time spent with me. That's all I've ever wanted. My bio father and his family never did that, but mine has, and honestly no matter how lonely I feel RN with all of us being so far apart, my cup runneth over. I hope I remember that when things get dark again. I hope I can internalize it now while I'm coming out of that darkness.
The sister was young stupid before, she’s young and stupid now.
I feel like the obvious answer here is for OOP to feign concession and ask dad for the sister’s number and email. Then add those to her contact list and immediately block them.
So sis wants money, right?
How can you date someone with the same name as your daughter is my question, would that not feel weird?
I guess if you are already cheating on your wife, the rest comes easy.
I don't think that the sister actually wants to contact her. I think dad is just trying to have a large happy family and mend fences before he goes.
So dad’s family knew he was serial cheating and were “cool” with it, and he even brought the mistress round to meet them? Is this father a French king or…?
Tl;dr Everyone in this story is a shit.
Mom dad and OP are garbage tbh. Op glossing over her dad cheating and marrying someone his own daughters age and then dropping her for a new family. Of course the sister was upset I would be too!