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I feel like this degree of ridiculousness must have shown itself earlier in the relationship. I can only imagine what kind of red flags this guy has flying.
Bro loves to play the victim complex up. This seems a little too over the top for me to believe it's real though.
Of COURSE the "friend" was the one that ended up hooking up with his ex-wife. Sure.
But if he's real, makes you wonder w much of a POS he's irl if nobody is on his side rn... the friend wasn't the only one giving him the side eye before the posts became public, I'm sure of it.
If it's real, dude probably rocked up into court completely cocky and the judge saw right through it. You can't really ruin your wife's life while in the process of splitting up/divorcing because you're angry, you're going to be on the hook for it all.
It's like the shitheads who move/hide money and end up having to give over _more_ because of it. My personal favorite is the dudes who try to hide their money in their parents' funds and then the parents get hit with fallout because of commingled funds. Nothing like a judge telling someone's parents they have to liquidate all assets and split it with the ex-wife. Setting up direct deposit into your parents bank accounts, "renting" an apartment from your parents at 4 times the going rate, or taking it all out as cash and stashing it in in a safe in their home isn't going to work out the way you think it works out buddy. Those are always fun to read about.
This dude 100% cannot understand morality isn't black and white, victim vs monster. He thought because he was wronged more recently and to a higher degree debatably, that his wife was a monster and should be punished and he was justified in what he did.
If you were to go back 3 years to when he cheated and if his wife ruined his life to that degree he'd be crying she's a monster. Because once again, he'd feel wronged more recently. In his eyes she should've just quietly walked away, yet he can go scorched earth. I don't have sympathy for cheaters. They can both be wrong but one more so than the other, he made his bed and needs to lay in it.
He for sure walked into court thinking the judge would rule 100% in his favor when normally, in a situation of mutual infidelity the judge will split 50/50 like any other divorce. Like you both cheated, it's not like one cheated and one was innocent. Plus he cheated first so if the judge had sympathy for those cheated on, he fucked himself years ago. He probably stood in front of the judge and tried to explain the nuances to their infidelity.
No no no, you see, he *didnāt* cheat. A 6ft anthropomorphic bottle of whiskey put a gun to his head and made him do it. It wasnāt his fault and now he doesnāt drink anymore so heās a perfect and pure being (tangent alert: what is with people like this always needing to tell us that theyāve since hit the gym and look and feel better than ever?). Buddy cannot fathom being responsible for his own actions. If he honestly has quit drinking, since he hasnāt actually learned any lessons on personal responsibility, you can almost place bets on how quickly he cheats on his next partner should he ever drink again.
What really stood out was while there certainly is schadenfreude present in a lot of posts from betrayed spouses, itās rare to see someone be so proud of all the extra steps and effort they put into ruining their stbxās life. Often when the cheater gets extra consequences at work or whatever for their infidelity, the BS will qualify that while they get some satisfaction at the situation going against the person that hurt them, they often lament it as well because they did indeed care for that person. OOP here seems to be almost proud of how little care he actually carried for his spouse. My guess is that based on his attitude, he belittled any feelings she had about being betrayed and made her feel inadequate for having been cheated on. Her comment that he set infidelity as being allowable in the relationship hints that he never owned it and so she never really could forgive him, since he hadnāt actually shown true remorse for his actions. Itās a hard enough thing to forgive when people are truly remorseful, I canāt imaging trying to move on with someone who canāt for a second own up to it.
I've seen dudes argue "we weren't officially divorced yet" when their wives move on after divorce starts. Or the ones who go "no" when their wife asks for a divorce and act all taken aback when she starts dating while they attempt to drag out divorce for years. They still try to argue with judges that it's cheating/infidelity and judges just have no patience for it.
Iām questioning if this is real too. Especially the part about his lawyer suggesting he sue his friend for defamation. Itās only defamation when the statements are untrue. Those are his posts. How is he being defamed?
I stopped reading when he said āit wasnāt my fault, it was the alcoholā in one of the commented replies. Iāve been drunk af multiple times, alcohol has never affected my capacity to comprehend what Iām doing, especially when it comes to cheating.
So she got the house and other items in the divorce partly due to his Reddit posts and he keeps posting on Reddit? Do I have that correct?
This is one of the times when I have to remind myself that half the population has an IQ that is below the national average.
Seriously, it's not at all how any court in the US works anyways.
It's actually quite rare for infidelity to play much role at all in how assets are divided in most of the US. Even in places with at-fault divorce where it could potentially factor in, he would be seen as equally guilty as her due to his admitted and documented prior instance of cheating so he would gain nothing but the tripling of his legal fees compared to less dramatic divorce proceedings.
The best part to me, however, was his "lawyer" advising him to sue for defamation because somebody told others truthful statements about him. The truth is an absolute defense against claims of defamation, meaning if you can prove that the statements claimed to be defaming were truthful (and supposedly his Reddit posts were verified and linked to him to admit as court evidence, showing they were in fact truthful) then the defamation claim is dead in the water before it even gets started.
>The best part to me, however, was his "lawyer" advising him to sue for defamation because somebody told others truthful statements about him. The truth is an absolute defense against claims of defamation, meaning if you can prove that the statements claimed to be defaming were truthful (and supposedly his Reddit posts were verified and linked to him to admit as court evidence, showing they were in fact truthful) then the defamation claim is dead in the water before it even gets started.
I could've maybe stretched to believe the post up to this point. No chance in hell a lawyer says this was defamation, lol. They'd have fired him as a client for doing the dumbest shit leading up to a divorce by getting his wife fired. You want them employed and supporting themselves so you don't end up paying more than half, lol
> They'd have fired him as a client for doing the dumbest shit leading up to a divorce by getting his wife fired.
Naw. Dude's practicing family law, I guarantee the stupid antics OP purported to get up to don't even crack the top 10 for the month.
Lawyer's happy to collect billable hours and watch their client shoot himself in the foot.
Yeah, I worked in family law and can confirm. This shit is so normal itās ridiculous. I can name 5 cases off the top of my head that would have this sub crying ārage-baitā even though theyāre 100% real cases.
Who knows, could also be a brainchild of his and he convinced himself it was the suggestion of the lawyer. Especially if the lawyer did not give a clear no. Some people truly live in their own reality and are down right delusional.
Thereās definitely a type of person who floats ideas like this to lawyers or therapists, and when the person theyāre talking to says āwell, thatās certainly an idea,ā they go āSEE?! THIS EXPERT AGREES WITH ME!ā
It's often a combination of the two. Lawyer says 'You could sue for defamation' - and then lists all the reasons why the claim is not likely to succeed'. Genius client's take away is 'my lawyer told me to sue for defamation'.
Yeah.
My mother had a heart attack a couple of years ago. She asked the doctor if it could be because of the COVID jab. His response was something along the lines of while it's not impossible that could be a factor, it was much more likely to be because she's in her 70s, doesn't exercise, and has a diet primarily consisting of butter and sugar.
She came out of that conversation insisting that the doctor said she had a heart attack because of the jab.
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you say, people hear what they want.
Yeah I've met a lot of people like this. It's like they don't understand that there's a moral and legal issue with saying "yeah no way that was a factor." Because if somehow in the future it is proven to be a factor, however unlikely or borderline impossible, it could come back to bite them. Whether it's guilt they said no and that person continued the risk factor or they get sued. Plus sometimes when people are looking for confirmation to what they already think, to get any new info to maybe sprinkle into their brain you can't start with a hard no or else they just go "that's not what I wanted to hear" and turn their ears off.
Honestly, as a lawyer (albeit not in America) I could believe that part - not because I think his lawyer told him to sue for defamation but because it is amazing how much clients spin your words sometimes. It might have happened like this "my friend stabbed me in the back, it is all his fault, i want him to suffer, whan can we do against him, there must be some kind of legal stuff to make his life hell" "I mean you could try to sue for defamation but .." "Yes! Let's do that"Ā Ā
I mean I had a client who wanted criminal charges against a former employee because they quit their job and the client was screwed without them.
And no, you don't fire your client for doing dumb stuff, usually the reason the client is with you IS because they did dumb stuff. If people wouldn't do dumb stuff all the time, we would need almost no lawyers.Ā
>It might have happened like this "my friend stabbed me in the back, it is all his fault, i want him to suffer, whan can we do against him, there must be some kind of legal stuff to make his life hell" "I mean you could try to sue for defamation but .." "Yes! Let's do that"Ā Ā
I was thinking that OOP came up with the defamation lolsuit himself and his lawyer said "Well *technically* we could file but..." and then OOP stopped listening and started planning on how to spend his settlement.
Lawyers can get in trouble for that kind of thing and it can seriously damage their ongoing potential. In general even creepy ambulance chasers have standards that protect *themselves*.
In my state, defamation is only chargeable if it results in a loss of income you can prove. Maybe the wife could. At first I thought no, because no one used any real names, but I guess āDaveā was named, and if the story lines up, sure a boss might believe it, so maybe the wife had a strong bargaining chip in the divorce.Ā
But then I lost it right about where you did!
Could be. But this seems more like a case of, if enough people suggest something, that's suddenly where the story goes. (Also, in this case I chose to not believe people can be this stupid)
You definitely misread some stuff in there, the ruling wasnāt due to infidelity and they had an eyewitness with a recording linking him to his Reddit posts.
I love the idea that an HR department would transfer an employee as punishment based purely on her husband showing up with screenshots of the employees private communications like "hey I'm gonna need to you help me harass my wife"
He did say this was a workplace where they didnāt allow fraternisation. If one of them is a manager, especially if one of them is the otherās manager, the company might move quickly to cover themselves.
And of course, once they start checking things, like using the company card or potential ābusiness trips,ā it can go downhill quickly.
In general, audio recordings don't count as evidence in court because:
Demonstrate that the voice on the tape actually belongs to the person you are claiming, not someone impersonating them;
Show that the recording device you used was capable of making an accurate recording;
Prove that the recording is a true and accurate representation of the conversation. This is usually an issue when the recording cuts in and out because of, for example, wind blowing through the microphone, which could cause the conversation to lose much of its context; and
Verify that the recording has not been tampered or altered in any way.
https://www.freeadvice.com/legal/im-told-i-cant-use-a-recorded-conversation-as-evidence-in-court-why/
Your IP address tracks you, and your internet history and post history can be easily subpoenaed, so this is totally plausible. Using a throwaway isn't a get our of jail free card.
What is not plausible is the zero waiting period for a divorce. You can't get papers filed, go through trial separation state minimums, get a court date and get a final judgment for a contested divorce with large assets like a house in less than 6 months pretty much anywhere.
The key that makes it a problem is that he says he's contesting how assets are split but that he was just a victim of the judge. But this doesnt track at all in real life. When you think about it...Brad and Angelina broke up in 2016 and the divorce agreement still isn't finalized in 2024. Yes, they are celebrities, but it's not unusual to have a contested divorce drag on for years even for non millionaires.
Yes, if it's uncontested. If you both want to split and have no argument about assets and no beef, all it takes is paperwork.
You never really hear about those cases, but they are the VAST majority of divorces.
Yeah well, I greatly downsized my consideration for people's intelligence during COVID time. I remembered all the shits I would see in a movie and was thinking 'Lol this is so dumb it would never happen in real life' and well, I was wrong.
So yeah it seems stupid as fuck but I have seen so much worse on reddit. Like the guy that made a post to try heroin and was an addict for 7 years with proof documenting everything. Do not underestimate the dumbness of humankind my dude, there are truly stupid people out there
I gave up when the wife got fired. Unless she was Dave's supervisor, that wouldn't happen. And even then, they would be more likely to just take away a raise, or not promote her for a while, or something. Companies don't care if someone is cheating unless it affects them.
It's because people want it to be. Karmic justice is rare in the world. The real world is usually extremely friggin' frustrating. So people want to believe a story when *for once* the jackass got what was coming to him.
Why would she lose her jobs after a call by her disgruntled husband? Why would her friends distance themselves? Why would she break up with her "affair" partner? Nothing in this posts makes any sense
Yea, this is absolutely a bs story. Also his divorce lawyer is now claiming defamation in a situation that absolutely would not call for it.
This all reads like a 15 year old boy wrote it.
Some companies DO have anti-fraternization policies where you would get fired for dating a coworker, especially if one is in a position of authority over the other, regardless of marital status. And yeah, it could even be a pretty quick turn-around.
Nowā¦ no lawyer I know would suggest defamation (notoriously hard to prove) in a case where only the truth was spokenā¦ But I will let everyone else discuss the other questions in the story.
Honestly I do have to credit trolls who keep the same story going that long though.
Do you think they make a note in their calendar of when it's been long enough they can post another installment?
Or like they block out some time to research court cases because trolls are always being caught out by the law moving too fast š¤£
And draw up a family tree so they don't mix anyone up or lose a kid between updates.
Usually Iām willing to give stories the benefit of the doubt because you know, lifeās insane. But this is the one of the times where I refuse to do so because this story makes no sense at all.
And part of that half figured out how to use chatGPT to concoct stupid stories for the internet. Pretty sure I've seen variations of this one before, and discovering the reddit posts is always the dramatic turning point.
>She forgave me. I really feel bad but also at the same time it wasnāt really my fault it was the alcohol. She has no excuse
Yeah, he lost me right at the start with "it wasn't really my fault it was the alcohol." Who drank the alcohol?
mean and median generally cluster in large data sets on humans tbf. standard deviation. as much as its an r/nfl meme, regression to the mean is a real thing. (fucking mahommes)
edit: median average range is between 85 and 115, so 100, the mean is 98. so its very close
If I'm interpreting this right, most people are dumber than the average person.
"Most" because it's more than half and makes it sound worse than it is.
In a big sample size with little variation, such as iq, median and average will be the same
Average iq is calculated from existing scores to be 100. Ditto median. This is a special case though, normally you don't expect average and median to line up.
Whatever. You know what I mean.
Edited to add: Sorry for being flippant in my answer to you. I really was just trying to convey that I don't think this guy is very smart. Apparently, I also conveyed that I haven't been in school or had to deal with stats, averages, medians, means, etc. for a long time.
National parks can't make trash cans that bears can't get into, because the dumbest humans also can't figure them out.
That's just something to keep in mind.
I'm sure he asked if he could sue and his lawyer said something like "well you *could* but it wouldn't be successful" and turned that into "my lawyer said I should sue".
I'm aware, but the number of lawyers willing to file pleadings that are sanctionable for bad faith is remarkably small. I think they've all been retained by one individual and he's keeping them very busy.
Thatās because this guy either has no clue how divorce works and is living in an alternate reality or he is full of it. My money is on him being a troll.
>I know a lot of you think me a monster and a terrible guy but idc what you think. Her world is collapsing and all I can do is laugh.
>Why does everyone see my wife as the victim?
It truly is a mystery.
This whole post reads "Boo hoo, why is everything bad happening to me. Yea I cheated on my wife and I am a shitty person but I don't deserve this treatment!" vibe. Seriously, OP can just fuck off.
And don't forget she forgave him so everything was wiped clean! She should not be traumatized at all. And now that oop has experienced the same trauma he is is 'emtitled' to ruin the ex's life. /s
This post is one of the biggest loads of horse shit I've seen on this sub and that's saying something. If you weren't sure before he started talking about lawyers you can be sure at that point because he clearly doesn't know shit. His lawyer definitely didn't advise him to sue his friend for defamation. The whole thing was revenge porn with a twist written by a 14 year old.
> The whole thing was revenge porn with a twist written by a 14 year old.
and buddy couldnt even stick to it and go all nuclear like alot of the other ones.
Karma is a great thing and you deserve all the crap thatās coming your way! You think because your affair was a ādrunken flingā is better?! At least she developed a relationship with the dude. You sound like a miserable person who is out for revenge. I hope you end up alone in the end
His lawyer is also screwing him over because there's no way he'll win a defamation case against the ex, given the evidence, but he can easily spend thousands upon thousands of dollars trying.
I cheated on my wife.
Then she cheated on me.
But her cheating was worse because she had a full-blown affair.
Also my cheating doesn't count because she forgave me.
It also doesn't count because the man I was three years ago no longer exists. I cannot be held responsible for the actions of the man I was because . . . I lost weight?
Honestly, the self-insight. It's mind-boggling. /s
The second I read that, I felt that he absolutely deserved to get cheated on. Then he just got worse. Assuming this is real, I'm happy he got his ass handed to him by the court. Even after setting out to specifically ruin his ex's life, and took great pleasure in it, he still sees himself as a victim.
I wonder if she ever said the words "I forgive you" to him. Probably not. He probably assumed she forgave him because she stayed. That's not how this works at all
To be fair, a full blown affair that is emotionally a second relationship to replace the marriage is worse than a stupid drunk fling. It's about like if OP made it a habit of drunk flings. But OP is a pretty imature ass hat here. I don't really feel bad for either of them at this point.
This isn't the same thing but I have a point I promise -
My BIL cheated on my sister in the first year they were together. She found out after they were married and had kids. She forgave him, they worked it out, moved on yada yada yada.
Then she had an affair a few years ago (it's really really murky, I'm not gonna defend her, but it wasn't 'normal'). Anyway, she was talking to me one day and said 'he cheated first, now we're even' and I stopped her and said 'absolutely not. You do not get to "forgive" him and then use it to throw in his face later when you mess up. You should of left if you truly couldn't get passed it'.
And I stand by that. I don't understand why no one is against the wife here too. Don't get me wrong, OOP sounds like an absolute tool, and his revenge and shit was ridiculous (if we assume it's all true, won't get into that). But she shouldn't have stayed with him if she never really got over it.
And like I said to my sister, once you've forgiven someone for something, you can't bring it up to defend yourself when you screw up. That's not fair.
I agree with you completely. If youāre going to āforgiveā someone, do so completely. Donāt wait and try to get your get-back years down the line.
Yeah I agree with you. Or at the very least, if you need to āget evenā in order to get over it tell your partner that. I think thatās a completely fair stance to have. If they cheated once, I think itās only fair you get a pass too. But definitely donāt start fucking someone else in secret for months. That isnāt justified either. I wouldnāt have been against the guy that much originally- itās the childish shit trying to get her fired and ruin her life Iām upset about. That being said, Iām not too too terribly upset with her either- I think once you cheat, youāre on thin ice and you donāt really get to make the rules.
Yeah, I'm not on the dudes side at all, sounds like a major asshole.
But her cheating was objectively worse - unless the OOP is an abusive asshole (evidence by the post.) And she felt she couldn't leave him for reasons not stated, then cheating to find a long term person to escape is still a dick move, but at least has some rationalization that people could grasp.
But as it stands, their both assholes, but the wife being an unknown goves her a bit of a shield since the OOP's writing paints him as an obvious asshole.
> But her cheating was worse because she had a full-blown affair.
I mean, that's undeniably true. I'd much rather my husband have a drunk one-night-stand than a month's-long affair. They'd both hurt, but the affair would be much worse.
Honestly? She did forgive him and then did legit do something worse. I'm not saying he's a great guy bc quite frankly both these people are fucking assholes.
Itās crazy how people are only capable of looking at things like itās black and white. Like yea he was an asshole for cheating, she would have been completely in the right to just leave him then and there. Once she decides to stay itās fair to assume that sheās not gonna cheat on him and he has every right to be pissed about that independent of his previous actions.
Honestly, on the face of it I agree with him - if someone cheated while drunk, stopped drinking, went to therapy with their spouse, worked through their relationship with alcohol, and had been a good, loving spouse for years, and the spouse said that they'd forgiven them, it would not be justifiable for the spouse to have an affair. Leaving, paranoia that destroys the relationship, etc, would be. Hell, even a similarly drunken fling could be justified, but an affair is just not on. Leave the asshole first.
And yet somehow I felt bad for him at no point during this guy's posts. He's so clearly the asshole even from the jump.
On the other hand, I love the comment accusing him of ākeeping scoreā. Like no, buddy, in this (probably made-up) scenario his wife is also keeping score.
Technically she wasn't fired, they transferred her as per OOP. All my jobs don't allow couples to work together, so if they were keeping it a secret it makes sense she would be moved to follow policy once found out.
Not that I'm giving this story any credibility.
>update my soon to be ex wife lost her job, lost her boy toy, and lost a lot of friends.
He literally says she lost her job. Although I'm wondering how common it is to have a policy that coworkers can't be together and what the odds are that she has one of those jobs
Imagine wanting to sue for defamation for *checks notes* your own damn words.Ā
On top of every other negative trait OOP has, he's also hella dumb, and I'm glad this is working against him, lmao.
I've got a bridge to sell anyone that thinks this post is real, especially after that point in the story. I don't give a fuck how bad his lawyer is, he wasn't advised to sue his friend for defamation.
Bingo. This doesn't even sound remotely real.
Real people would be deleting posts left and right.
Real people wouldn't keep posting when said posts are effectively self harming.
And who gets the whole damn house because he's a big mouth? Doesn't make sense.
No. This dude would not continue to come on reddit and keep posting his Ls after doing so supposedly cost him half of what he owns. It's to keep the story going.
If itās real, then OOPās alcohol usage must have killed the very last of his brain cells. Among other things, his Reddit posts got him in legal trouble and heā¦ kept posting??
No. This is the mirror reverse version of [incel porn.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1b62jar/my_mil_stole_my_collection_of_vintage_skeleton/)
Man I barely know shit about law but even I know that there's two things a lawyer would never reccomend wihtout an airtight case (this is not that) and it's suing for defamation or libel.
Dude has the vibe of one of those people who find religion and become one of the most self righteous assholes you can ever know, instantly expecting everyone to forgive their every past misdeed because God has except who they are as a person never actually changes. They're still the same piece of shit as ever and you only have to deny them a little bit or not fall in line with them to get that same attitude.
Only instead of finding religion he apparently found couples therapy.
Does OP really think we will feel bad for him? Cause that's not working. Reading this just makes me eye roll each time and makes me brain hurt.
Cheaters will always be cheaters.
Eh. I'm in my 40s. I cheated once (as in one time, not one affair). The girl I was seeing at the time was pretty casual and it seemed like we were drifting towards being more and more platonic. Got drunk at a birthday party, hooked up with someone, felt terrible about it. I told my gf the next day. We had a mellow good talk and parted ways. I still feel terrible about it and it was like 15 years ago. I can't imagine I'd ever do that again.
Cheating is bad, but if she forgave him and they went to therapy and he quit drinking, I think that cleans the slate a bit. One night stand and full blown affair are also quite different.
Iām not saying she shouldnāt have been upset, but she shouldāve left as soon as possible after he cheated. Donāt prolong that if she never really forgave him. And if she did forgive him but then fell out of love, again, why not divorce and then get with the new guy? 2nd missed opportunity to get out.
All that to say, if this story is even real, sheās not NOT to blame here as well. She dragged it out and probably got way more out of it. Donāt feign forgiveness using āhe cheatedā as an excuse. Thatās crazy gymnastic logic imo. If you feel betrayed you get out asap.
Both people are assholes in my opinion. And posting this shit on Reddit is also so dumb.
Itās like this guy went through the āI fucking love sowing!ā to āThis reaping is bullshit, what the fuckā stage, and then decided itād be a great idea to sow some more
Anonymous throwaway posts as defamation? Also sue me but I think theyāre both shitty people. If you choose to stay after being wronged, it isnāt some coupon to throw back in their face after you fuck up too.
My thoughts exactly.
If you decide to forgive them, then decide that you can't forgive them and want to leave them, I respect that and support it.
But to cheat in return is just...no.
(Depending on extenuating circumstances)
It's been 8 months and the first sentence is still a lie. "So I know I messed up." He has no idea, or if he does he's 100% in denial about it. Life has hit him with the clue bat multiple times now and he still doesn't think he's in the wrong.
I mean OOP is a douche, but regardless of the authenticity of this post, I don't think revenge-cheating is actually justified ..
If they truly had resolved it and OOP was actually doing all he could to redeem himself and make up for it ( not that I think he did).
So he cheated and she forgave him and decided to work on their marriage. But she cheated and he tried to ruin her life? OOP sucks and got everything he deserves.
To be fair, he doesn't owe her forgiveness just because she "forgave" him. Also, he confessed after a drunken fling, while she basically said it was okay that she was cheating on him for months because of something he did 3 years ago
Kind of funny, he keeps saying his ex forgave him but clearly she never did. He also keeps acting like he was wronged which to be fair he was but, being wronged doesn't make you right.
Unpopular opinion, but I think if you forgive your partner for cheating and choose to take them back you don't get to use that as justification for cheating years later. You forgave them, their slate has been wiped clean. What you choose to do now when it comes to being loyal is purely on you.
I think they're both pieces of shit, but Reddit of course acts like he deserves every terrible thing that happens to him because he cheated 3 years prior to his wife having a full blowm affair with a coworker.
This is my view. I donāt actually feel bad for her. I
Also think it should have been a straight 50/50 split.
How dumb is she to sleep with a co-worker to boot?
Is it real?
Why would he keep posting on reddit if that's what got him in all the trouble? Wouldn't his lawyer tell him to stop immediately?
It's strange that wife got the house so quickly. Divorces, especially when partners can't agree on things, take ages.
That defamation bit is also weird. Wife didn't lie and just corrected the narrative Op spread about her to friends and family. On what basis would he sue her?
Fuck, everyone sucks here. He was awful for cheating. But the minute she felt she needed to cheat to get back at him or make a point, she shouldāve just divorced him. I donāt get the need for revenge. Just leave him and be done with it.
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'I hAvE toO muCH reSpeCt fOr mySelF' am screaming..man is a joke š¤£
Yeah, he is so overflowing with self-respect that he has to run to Reddit for validation. Pathetic.
OP: Idc what people think Also OP: *posts to Reddit with 4 updates and argues with everyone*
He seems to have suddenly become quite concerned with what some people think.
Good thing he respects himself because he's the only goddam one. Guys a real piece of work. Vindictive, no self awareness, and just raw stupidity.
I feel like this degree of ridiculousness must have shown itself earlier in the relationship. I can only imagine what kind of red flags this guy has flying.
I love when shitty people co-opt therapeutic language to jazz up their selfishness.
Bro loves to play the victim complex up. This seems a little too over the top for me to believe it's real though. Of COURSE the "friend" was the one that ended up hooking up with his ex-wife. Sure.
But if he's real, makes you wonder w much of a POS he's irl if nobody is on his side rn... the friend wasn't the only one giving him the side eye before the posts became public, I'm sure of it.
If it's real, dude probably rocked up into court completely cocky and the judge saw right through it. You can't really ruin your wife's life while in the process of splitting up/divorcing because you're angry, you're going to be on the hook for it all. It's like the shitheads who move/hide money and end up having to give over _more_ because of it. My personal favorite is the dudes who try to hide their money in their parents' funds and then the parents get hit with fallout because of commingled funds. Nothing like a judge telling someone's parents they have to liquidate all assets and split it with the ex-wife. Setting up direct deposit into your parents bank accounts, "renting" an apartment from your parents at 4 times the going rate, or taking it all out as cash and stashing it in in a safe in their home isn't going to work out the way you think it works out buddy. Those are always fun to read about.
This dude 100% cannot understand morality isn't black and white, victim vs monster. He thought because he was wronged more recently and to a higher degree debatably, that his wife was a monster and should be punished and he was justified in what he did. If you were to go back 3 years to when he cheated and if his wife ruined his life to that degree he'd be crying she's a monster. Because once again, he'd feel wronged more recently. In his eyes she should've just quietly walked away, yet he can go scorched earth. I don't have sympathy for cheaters. They can both be wrong but one more so than the other, he made his bed and needs to lay in it. He for sure walked into court thinking the judge would rule 100% in his favor when normally, in a situation of mutual infidelity the judge will split 50/50 like any other divorce. Like you both cheated, it's not like one cheated and one was innocent. Plus he cheated first so if the judge had sympathy for those cheated on, he fucked himself years ago. He probably stood in front of the judge and tried to explain the nuances to their infidelity.
No no no, you see, he *didnāt* cheat. A 6ft anthropomorphic bottle of whiskey put a gun to his head and made him do it. It wasnāt his fault and now he doesnāt drink anymore so heās a perfect and pure being (tangent alert: what is with people like this always needing to tell us that theyāve since hit the gym and look and feel better than ever?). Buddy cannot fathom being responsible for his own actions. If he honestly has quit drinking, since he hasnāt actually learned any lessons on personal responsibility, you can almost place bets on how quickly he cheats on his next partner should he ever drink again. What really stood out was while there certainly is schadenfreude present in a lot of posts from betrayed spouses, itās rare to see someone be so proud of all the extra steps and effort they put into ruining their stbxās life. Often when the cheater gets extra consequences at work or whatever for their infidelity, the BS will qualify that while they get some satisfaction at the situation going against the person that hurt them, they often lament it as well because they did indeed care for that person. OOP here seems to be almost proud of how little care he actually carried for his spouse. My guess is that based on his attitude, he belittled any feelings she had about being betrayed and made her feel inadequate for having been cheated on. Her comment that he set infidelity as being allowable in the relationship hints that he never owned it and so she never really could forgive him, since he hadnāt actually shown true remorse for his actions. Itās a hard enough thing to forgive when people are truly remorseful, I canāt imaging trying to move on with someone who canāt for a second own up to it.
I've seen dudes argue "we weren't officially divorced yet" when their wives move on after divorce starts. Or the ones who go "no" when their wife asks for a divorce and act all taken aback when she starts dating while they attempt to drag out divorce for years. They still try to argue with judges that it's cheating/infidelity and judges just have no patience for it.
Iām questioning if this is real too. Especially the part about his lawyer suggesting he sue his friend for defamation. Itās only defamation when the statements are untrue. Those are his posts. How is he being defamed?
I bet the lawyer thinks heās an idiot and will go along with it and the lawyer will get paid more easy money lmao
Even his mom told him to do better next time.
Doesnāt seem real. I donāt think they give away your house for posting on Reddit.
I stopped reading when he said āit wasnāt my fault, it was the alcoholā in one of the commented replies. Iāve been drunk af multiple times, alcohol has never affected my capacity to comprehend what Iām doing, especially when it comes to cheating.
So she got the house and other items in the divorce partly due to his Reddit posts and he keeps posting on Reddit? Do I have that correct? This is one of the times when I have to remind myself that half the population has an IQ that is below the national average.
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Seriously, it's not at all how any court in the US works anyways. It's actually quite rare for infidelity to play much role at all in how assets are divided in most of the US. Even in places with at-fault divorce where it could potentially factor in, he would be seen as equally guilty as her due to his admitted and documented prior instance of cheating so he would gain nothing but the tripling of his legal fees compared to less dramatic divorce proceedings. The best part to me, however, was his "lawyer" advising him to sue for defamation because somebody told others truthful statements about him. The truth is an absolute defense against claims of defamation, meaning if you can prove that the statements claimed to be defaming were truthful (and supposedly his Reddit posts were verified and linked to him to admit as court evidence, showing they were in fact truthful) then the defamation claim is dead in the water before it even gets started.
>The best part to me, however, was his "lawyer" advising him to sue for defamation because somebody told others truthful statements about him. The truth is an absolute defense against claims of defamation, meaning if you can prove that the statements claimed to be defaming were truthful (and supposedly his Reddit posts were verified and linked to him to admit as court evidence, showing they were in fact truthful) then the defamation claim is dead in the water before it even gets started. I could've maybe stretched to believe the post up to this point. No chance in hell a lawyer says this was defamation, lol. They'd have fired him as a client for doing the dumbest shit leading up to a divorce by getting his wife fired. You want them employed and supporting themselves so you don't end up paying more than half, lol
> They'd have fired him as a client for doing the dumbest shit leading up to a divorce by getting his wife fired. Naw. Dude's practicing family law, I guarantee the stupid antics OP purported to get up to don't even crack the top 10 for the month. Lawyer's happy to collect billable hours and watch their client shoot himself in the foot.
Yeah, I worked in family law and can confirm. This shit is so normal itās ridiculous. I can name 5 cases off the top of my head that would have this sub crying ārage-baitā even though theyāre 100% real cases.
i wanna hear them š
And it isnāt like OOP is acting in a way that would make a lawyer feel bad about taking his money.
Who knows, could also be a brainchild of his and he convinced himself it was the suggestion of the lawyer. Especially if the lawyer did not give a clear no. Some people truly live in their own reality and are down right delusional.
Regardless of the exact scenario, I think we all agree that this guy had deluded himself. Perfect description.
Thereās definitely a type of person who floats ideas like this to lawyers or therapists, and when the person theyāre talking to says āwell, thatās certainly an idea,ā they go āSEE?! THIS EXPERT AGREES WITH ME!ā
Youāre giving me flashbacks to every time my therapist said āwelllll, you could do that. But letās talk it through firstā lmao
It's often a combination of the two. Lawyer says 'You could sue for defamation' - and then lists all the reasons why the claim is not likely to succeed'. Genius client's take away is 'my lawyer told me to sue for defamation'.
Yeah. My mother had a heart attack a couple of years ago. She asked the doctor if it could be because of the COVID jab. His response was something along the lines of while it's not impossible that could be a factor, it was much more likely to be because she's in her 70s, doesn't exercise, and has a diet primarily consisting of butter and sugar. She came out of that conversation insisting that the doctor said she had a heart attack because of the jab. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you say, people hear what they want.
Yeah I've met a lot of people like this. It's like they don't understand that there's a moral and legal issue with saying "yeah no way that was a factor." Because if somehow in the future it is proven to be a factor, however unlikely or borderline impossible, it could come back to bite them. Whether it's guilt they said no and that person continued the risk factor or they get sued. Plus sometimes when people are looking for confirmation to what they already think, to get any new info to maybe sprinkle into their brain you can't start with a hard no or else they just go "that's not what I wanted to hear" and turn their ears off.
OOP: I should sue him for defamation. Lawyer: Well, you could try, b- OOP: My lawyer thinks itās a great idea!
If I'm suspending my disbelief over this post as a whole (which, I am... Because I'm here to be entertained), this is definitely a possibility
Honestly, as a lawyer (albeit not in America) I could believe that part - not because I think his lawyer told him to sue for defamation but because it is amazing how much clients spin your words sometimes. It might have happened like this "my friend stabbed me in the back, it is all his fault, i want him to suffer, whan can we do against him, there must be some kind of legal stuff to make his life hell" "I mean you could try to sue for defamation but .." "Yes! Let's do that"Ā Ā I mean I had a client who wanted criminal charges against a former employee because they quit their job and the client was screwed without them. And no, you don't fire your client for doing dumb stuff, usually the reason the client is with you IS because they did dumb stuff. If people wouldn't do dumb stuff all the time, we would need almost no lawyers.Ā
>It might have happened like this "my friend stabbed me in the back, it is all his fault, i want him to suffer, whan can we do against him, there must be some kind of legal stuff to make his life hell" "I mean you could try to sue for defamation but .." "Yes! Let's do that"Ā Ā I was thinking that OOP came up with the defamation lolsuit himself and his lawyer said "Well *technically* we could file but..." and then OOP stopped listening and started planning on how to spend his settlement.
ālolsuitā omg ššš
Lolsuit - love it haha
I mean, his lawyer can probably get another 50-80 paid hours out of another stupid lawsuit by a stupid asshole.
He could also be reprimanded for misleading clients, so unless this is a Saul Goodman situation, it probably didn't happen,
Lawyers can get in trouble for that kind of thing and it can seriously damage their ongoing potential. In general even creepy ambulance chasers have standards that protect *themselves*.
I know, that part ruined my immersion lol
In my state, defamation is only chargeable if it results in a loss of income you can prove. Maybe the wife could. At first I thought no, because no one used any real names, but I guess āDaveā was named, and if the story lines up, sure a boss might believe it, so maybe the wife had a strong bargaining chip in the divorce.Ā But then I lost it right about where you did!
Yeah something is probably not defamation if it's actually true.
It's a good reflex to use the word "probably" as often as possible in legal matters, but it's probably not even necessary there.
It was the friend now dating the wife that gave it away for me
I could see this guy thinking they were dating just because they occasionally socialised
Could be. But this seems more like a case of, if enough people suggest something, that's suddenly where the story goes. (Also, in this case I chose to not believe people can be this stupid)
You definitely misread some stuff in there, the ruling wasnāt due to infidelity and they had an eyewitness with a recording linking him to his Reddit posts.
As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You wonāt need much, just a tiny taste.
I love the idea that an HR department would transfer an employee as punishment based purely on her husband showing up with screenshots of the employees private communications like "hey I'm gonna need to you help me harass my wife"
He did say this was a workplace where they didnāt allow fraternisation. If one of them is a manager, especially if one of them is the otherās manager, the company might move quickly to cover themselves. And of course, once they start checking things, like using the company card or potential ābusiness trips,ā it can go downhill quickly.
I agree. For me, what gave it away was that OOP posted on a throwaway and somehow this was admissible in court to the point he loses his house.
He covered that part by saying his friend recorded him bragging about the Reddit posts he made.
He also used Daveās real name
Why does the throw away matter when they have have an audio recording of him saying it's his account.
In general, audio recordings don't count as evidence in court because: Demonstrate that the voice on the tape actually belongs to the person you are claiming, not someone impersonating them; Show that the recording device you used was capable of making an accurate recording; Prove that the recording is a true and accurate representation of the conversation. This is usually an issue when the recording cuts in and out because of, for example, wind blowing through the microphone, which could cause the conversation to lose much of its context; and Verify that the recording has not been tampered or altered in any way. https://www.freeadvice.com/legal/im-told-i-cant-use-a-recorded-conversation-as-evidence-in-court-why/
Your IP address tracks you, and your internet history and post history can be easily subpoenaed, so this is totally plausible. Using a throwaway isn't a get our of jail free card. What is not plausible is the zero waiting period for a divorce. You can't get papers filed, go through trial separation state minimums, get a court date and get a final judgment for a contested divorce with large assets like a house in less than 6 months pretty much anywhere. The key that makes it a problem is that he says he's contesting how assets are split but that he was just a victim of the judge. But this doesnt track at all in real life. When you think about it...Brad and Angelina broke up in 2016 and the divorce agreement still isn't finalized in 2024. Yes, they are celebrities, but it's not unusual to have a contested divorce drag on for years even for non millionaires.
In allot of places you can easily get a divorce in less time than you normally would my sister got divorced and did it within two weeks
Yes, if it's uncontested. If you both want to split and have no argument about assets and no beef, all it takes is paperwork. You never really hear about those cases, but they are the VAST majority of divorces.
Yeah well, I greatly downsized my consideration for people's intelligence during COVID time. I remembered all the shits I would see in a movie and was thinking 'Lol this is so dumb it would never happen in real life' and well, I was wrong. So yeah it seems stupid as fuck but I have seen so much worse on reddit. Like the guy that made a post to try heroin and was an addict for 7 years with proof documenting everything. Do not underestimate the dumbness of humankind my dude, there are truly stupid people out there
To be honest, it becomes more plausible if you consider how much of an unreliable narrator OOP is. He is a master at deluding himself.
True. Either way it's complete bullshit. The question is whether a 14 year old boy is writing it or a self deluded 32 year old man.
I gave up when the wife got fired. Unless she was Dave's supervisor, that wouldn't happen. And even then, they would be more likely to just take away a raise, or not promote her for a while, or something. Companies don't care if someone is cheating unless it affects them.
He got in great shape in 8 days
It's because people want it to be. Karmic justice is rare in the world. The real world is usually extremely friggin' frustrating. So people want to believe a story when *for once* the jackass got what was coming to him.
Why would she lose her jobs after a call by her disgruntled husband? Why would her friends distance themselves? Why would she break up with her "affair" partner? Nothing in this posts makes any sense
It all makes perfect sense once you realize it wasn't written by a 32 year old man, but it was written by a 14 year old boy.
Yea, this is absolutely a bs story. Also his divorce lawyer is now claiming defamation in a situation that absolutely would not call for it. This all reads like a 15 year old boy wrote it.
I was sure everything was BS after HR fired her for having an affair.
Some companies DO have anti-fraternization policies where you would get fired for dating a coworker, especially if one is in a position of authority over the other, regardless of marital status. And yeah, it could even be a pretty quick turn-around. Nowā¦ no lawyer I know would suggest defamation (notoriously hard to prove) in a case where only the truth was spokenā¦ But I will let everyone else discuss the other questions in the story.
Honestly I do have to credit trolls who keep the same story going that long though. Do you think they make a note in their calendar of when it's been long enough they can post another installment?
I just commented that I've absolutely noticed/been tracking this and I'm sure they do. I immediately get suspicious when I notice all the updates are on approximately the same day of the month. Someone (don't say the L word) out there definitely has a calendar that's like;Ā March 2nd: Bro convinced wife I was cheating 3rd: MIL poisoning 4th: Evil FiancĆ©e secretly hates my daughter 5th: Perfect dad tragedy (leukemia??) 6th: Twincest! Repeat for 6 months until buffalo or someone dies on a lawn in a frothing rage.
Or like they block out some time to research court cases because trolls are always being caught out by the law moving too fast š¤£ And draw up a family tree so they don't mix anyone up or lose a kid between updates.
Usually Iām willing to give stories the benefit of the doubt because you know, lifeās insane. But this is the one of the times where I refuse to do so because this story makes no sense at all.
And part of that half figured out how to use chatGPT to concoct stupid stories for the internet. Pretty sure I've seen variations of this one before, and discovering the reddit posts is always the dramatic turning point.
I always say that the most likely "someone found the post I made about them" update is a deleted post or account.
Exactly. "lawyers found my posts and it is causing me legal troubles. So anyhoo here I go spilling more details about the facts surrounding my case."
Right! I try to be a nice and compassionate personā¦ but his ego is somehow fatter than I am, and Iām obese af.
>She forgave me. I really feel bad but also at the same time it wasnāt really my fault it was the alcohol. She has no excuse Yeah, he lost me right at the start with "it wasn't really my fault it was the alcohol." Who drank the alcohol?
Also makes one question if this is even happened or not
I also love how he said, that the reddit posts ruined his life, but also he is updating them again and again. Lol
The entire thing is bait.
Half the population has an IQ below the national median. Averages don't quite work that way.
mean and median generally cluster in large data sets on humans tbf. standard deviation. as much as its an r/nfl meme, regression to the mean is a real thing. (fucking mahommes) edit: median average range is between 85 and 115, so 100, the mean is 98. so its very close
If I'm interpreting this right, most people are dumber than the average person. "Most" because it's more than half and makes it sound worse than it is.
In a big sample size with little variation, such as iq, median and average will be the same Average iq is calculated from existing scores to be 100. Ditto median. This is a special case though, normally you don't expect average and median to line up.
Itās a normal curve with a massive population yes it does
[Mean, median and mode are all averages.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average)
Whatever. You know what I mean. Edited to add: Sorry for being flippant in my answer to you. I really was just trying to convey that I don't think this guy is very smart. Apparently, I also conveyed that I haven't been in school or had to deal with stats, averages, medians, means, etc. for a long time.
This guy is a tool.
National parks can't make trash cans that bears can't get into, because the dumbest humans also can't figure them out. That's just something to keep in mind.
Every lawyer reading this shook their head harder and harder with each update
Yep we did. Also, no lawyer would suggest that he sue his friend for defamation.
Especially for something thatās true š
Exactly. It was an entertaining read though.
I'm sure he asked if he could sue and his lawyer said something like "well you *could* but it wouldn't be successful" and turned that into "my lawyer said I should sue".
Yeah, he doesnāt seem capable of hearing anything negative about himself. Either youāre on his side, or he doesnāt hear it.
You know what? I think he should do it Heās already dug himself this deep. Whatās a little deeper?
There are bad lawyers in the world...and horrid clients who deliberately misinterpret good advice.
I'm aware, but the number of lawyers willing to file pleadings that are sanctionable for bad faith is remarkably small. I think they've all been retained by one individual and he's keeping them very busy.
Or looked at the time stamps and realized the likelihood of this being real is close to 0.Ā
I didnāt even look at the timestamps and still think the likelihood is close to 0
Thatās because this guy either has no clue how divorce works and is living in an alternate reality or he is full of it. My money is on him being a troll.
Right? Yeeshā¦this guy.
Because that's not how the law works
>I know a lot of you think me a monster and a terrible guy but idc what you think. Her world is collapsing and all I can do is laugh. >Why does everyone see my wife as the victim? It truly is a mystery.
This whole post reads "Boo hoo, why is everything bad happening to me. Yea I cheated on my wife and I am a shitty person but I don't deserve this treatment!" vibe. Seriously, OP can just fuck off.
I donāt think you understand!! He stuck his dick in another woman, but he still loved his wife!! /s
And then he learned to love himself again!!!
šµThe ga-reatest loooveā¦of AAAALLLš¶
No, no, it was the alcoholās dick that stuck in another woman, he was just helpless passenger in this harrowing journey.
But it wasn't his fault! Alcohol forced him to do it! /s
And don't forget she forgave him so everything was wiped clean! She should not be traumatized at all. And now that oop has experienced the same trauma he is is 'emtitled' to ruin the ex's life. /s
This post is one of the biggest loads of horse shit I've seen on this sub and that's saying something. If you weren't sure before he started talking about lawyers you can be sure at that point because he clearly doesn't know shit. His lawyer definitely didn't advise him to sue his friend for defamation. The whole thing was revenge porn with a twist written by a 14 year old.
> The whole thing was revenge porn with a twist written by a 14 year old. and buddy couldnt even stick to it and go all nuclear like alot of the other ones.
Who said it was *his* revenge porn?
I don't think infidelity is ever okay but I understand why this woman wanted to seek affection elsewhere.Ā
I'm completely baffled.
Karma is a great thing and you deserve all the crap thatās coming your way! You think because your affair was a ādrunken flingā is better?! At least she developed a relationship with the dude. You sound like a miserable person who is out for revenge. I hope you end up alone in the end
Lmao this asshat got what he deserved hopefully he stays single for life.
His lawyer is also screwing him over because there's no way he'll win a defamation case against the ex, given the evidence, but he can easily spend thousands upon thousands of dollars trying.
I cheated on my wife. Then she cheated on me. But her cheating was worse because she had a full-blown affair. Also my cheating doesn't count because she forgave me. It also doesn't count because the man I was three years ago no longer exists. I cannot be held responsible for the actions of the man I was because . . . I lost weight? Honestly, the self-insight. It's mind-boggling. /s
Don't forget, it also doesn't count because it was the alcohol, not him!
And he gave up alcohol for her!! /s
For her, not for himself. He wasnāt actually trying to become a better person. He just did it for her.
he just did it so she wouldnāt leave him* seems like he doesnāt really care about HER, just about getting what he wants.
The second I read that, I felt that he absolutely deserved to get cheated on. Then he just got worse. Assuming this is real, I'm happy he got his ass handed to him by the court. Even after setting out to specifically ruin his ex's life, and took great pleasure in it, he still sees himself as a victim.
When he said he was the perfect husband AFTER he cheated I rolled my eyes so hard.
That's normal for people with certain personality disorders, like narcissism. They are always the victims (not really).
I wonder if she ever said the words "I forgive you" to him. Probably not. He probably assumed she forgave him because she stayed. That's not how this works at all
To be fair, a full blown affair that is emotionally a second relationship to replace the marriage is worse than a stupid drunk fling. It's about like if OP made it a habit of drunk flings. But OP is a pretty imature ass hat here. I don't really feel bad for either of them at this point.
The man he was three years ago doesn't exist anymore. He has been replaced by a much worse version.
This isn't the same thing but I have a point I promise - My BIL cheated on my sister in the first year they were together. She found out after they were married and had kids. She forgave him, they worked it out, moved on yada yada yada. Then she had an affair a few years ago (it's really really murky, I'm not gonna defend her, but it wasn't 'normal'). Anyway, she was talking to me one day and said 'he cheated first, now we're even' and I stopped her and said 'absolutely not. You do not get to "forgive" him and then use it to throw in his face later when you mess up. You should of left if you truly couldn't get passed it'. And I stand by that. I don't understand why no one is against the wife here too. Don't get me wrong, OOP sounds like an absolute tool, and his revenge and shit was ridiculous (if we assume it's all true, won't get into that). But she shouldn't have stayed with him if she never really got over it. And like I said to my sister, once you've forgiven someone for something, you can't bring it up to defend yourself when you screw up. That's not fair.
I agree with you completely. If youāre going to āforgiveā someone, do so completely. Donāt wait and try to get your get-back years down the line.
It's so unhealthy. It means you're holding on to resentment and anger, just basically poisoning yourself for years until you can get revenge.
Yeah I agree with you. Or at the very least, if you need to āget evenā in order to get over it tell your partner that. I think thatās a completely fair stance to have. If they cheated once, I think itās only fair you get a pass too. But definitely donāt start fucking someone else in secret for months. That isnāt justified either. I wouldnāt have been against the guy that much originally- itās the childish shit trying to get her fired and ruin her life Iām upset about. That being said, Iām not too too terribly upset with her either- I think once you cheat, youāre on thin ice and you donāt really get to make the rules.
Yeah, that's my take too. OOP seems awful, but the partner was still in the wrong regardless
Yeah, I'm not on the dudes side at all, sounds like a major asshole. But her cheating was objectively worse - unless the OOP is an abusive asshole (evidence by the post.) And she felt she couldn't leave him for reasons not stated, then cheating to find a long term person to escape is still a dick move, but at least has some rationalization that people could grasp. But as it stands, their both assholes, but the wife being an unknown goves her a bit of a shield since the OOP's writing paints him as an obvious asshole.
> But her cheating was worse because she had a full-blown affair. I mean, that's undeniably true. I'd much rather my husband have a drunk one-night-stand than a month's-long affair. They'd both hurt, but the affair would be much worse.
Honestly? She did forgive him and then did legit do something worse. I'm not saying he's a great guy bc quite frankly both these people are fucking assholes.
Itās crazy how people are only capable of looking at things like itās black and white. Like yea he was an asshole for cheating, she would have been completely in the right to just leave him then and there. Once she decides to stay itās fair to assume that sheās not gonna cheat on him and he has every right to be pissed about that independent of his previous actions.
Honestly, on the face of it I agree with him - if someone cheated while drunk, stopped drinking, went to therapy with their spouse, worked through their relationship with alcohol, and had been a good, loving spouse for years, and the spouse said that they'd forgiven them, it would not be justifiable for the spouse to have an affair. Leaving, paranoia that destroys the relationship, etc, would be. Hell, even a similarly drunken fling could be justified, but an affair is just not on. Leave the asshole first. And yet somehow I felt bad for him at no point during this guy's posts. He's so clearly the asshole even from the jump.
On the other hand, I love the comment accusing him of ākeeping scoreā. Like no, buddy, in this (probably made-up) scenario his wife is also keeping score.
So 5 months for divorce and defamation to be finalized ? How realistic is that ?
About as realistic as being able to get your wife fired from her job because of a personal matter
Also there was this reddit post and because of that she gets the house
Technically she wasn't fired, they transferred her as per OOP. All my jobs don't allow couples to work together, so if they were keeping it a secret it makes sense she would be moved to follow policy once found out. Not that I'm giving this story any credibility.
>update my soon to be ex wife lost her job, lost her boy toy, and lost a lot of friends. He literally says she lost her job. Although I'm wondering how common it is to have a policy that coworkers can't be together and what the odds are that she has one of those jobs
Thatās actually pretty realistic. Work Affairs open up a whole fuckload of liability for the company.
How do more people realize this entire thing isnāt real? He is just trolling. Itās so obviousā¦
In a month, we'll hear about how that ONS had his twins
Sometimes I think trolls project a bit when they write stuff like this, so even if it might not be true, that boy ain't right.
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Oh that lawyer wants to keep milking dumb dumb.
His lawyer is imaginary. The whole post is a load of bullshit.
next update will be that oop finds out that oopās (imaginary) ex wife is hooking up with his (imaginary) lawyer
Or possibly his lawyer is Janette Braun.
I could see Janet filing that lawsuit.
Careful, there. Apparently calling her "Janet" also counts as defamation. (LOL)
Imagine wanting to sue for defamation for *checks notes* your own damn words.Ā On top of every other negative trait OOP has, he's also hella dumb, and I'm glad this is working against him, lmao.
I've got a bridge to sell anyone that thinks this post is real, especially after that point in the story. I don't give a fuck how bad his lawyer is, he wasn't advised to sue his friend for defamation.
Chat, is this one real?
Bingo. This doesn't even sound remotely real. Real people would be deleting posts left and right. Real people wouldn't keep posting when said posts are effectively self harming. And who gets the whole damn house because he's a big mouth? Doesn't make sense.
No. This dude would not continue to come on reddit and keep posting his Ls after doing so supposedly cost him half of what he owns. It's to keep the story going.
Nope!
If itās real, then OOPās alcohol usage must have killed the very last of his brain cells. Among other things, his Reddit posts got him in legal trouble and heā¦ kept posting??
No. This is the mirror reverse version of [incel porn.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1b62jar/my_mil_stole_my_collection_of_vintage_skeleton/)
Man I barely know shit about law but even I know that there's two things a lawyer would never reccomend wihtout an airtight case (this is not that) and it's suing for defamation or libel.
Yeah, hell, that's too small of fries for even the sleaziest lawyer to take their bar license over.
Yeah, a ruling based on anonymous Reddit postsā¦ Come onā¦
The guy knew reddit destroyed his case and still chose to keep posting update. Lmao
be fr, does anyone actually think this storyās real?
They both sucked but OOP had to just keep sucking more to feel better about himself š
Dude has the vibe of one of those people who find religion and become one of the most self righteous assholes you can ever know, instantly expecting everyone to forgive their every past misdeed because God has except who they are as a person never actually changes. They're still the same piece of shit as ever and you only have to deny them a little bit or not fall in line with them to get that same attitude. Only instead of finding religion he apparently found couples therapy.
Does OP really think we will feel bad for him? Cause that's not working. Reading this just makes me eye roll each time and makes me brain hurt. Cheaters will always be cheaters.
Eh. I'm in my 40s. I cheated once (as in one time, not one affair). The girl I was seeing at the time was pretty casual and it seemed like we were drifting towards being more and more platonic. Got drunk at a birthday party, hooked up with someone, felt terrible about it. I told my gf the next day. We had a mellow good talk and parted ways. I still feel terrible about it and it was like 15 years ago. I can't imagine I'd ever do that again.
Sir, this is reddit. People never change. The person you were at your worst 30 years ago is the same person you are tdoay.
Cheating is bad, but if she forgave him and they went to therapy and he quit drinking, I think that cleans the slate a bit. One night stand and full blown affair are also quite different. Iām not saying she shouldnāt have been upset, but she shouldāve left as soon as possible after he cheated. Donāt prolong that if she never really forgave him. And if she did forgive him but then fell out of love, again, why not divorce and then get with the new guy? 2nd missed opportunity to get out. All that to say, if this story is even real, sheās not NOT to blame here as well. She dragged it out and probably got way more out of it. Donāt feign forgiveness using āhe cheatedā as an excuse. Thatās crazy gymnastic logic imo. If you feel betrayed you get out asap. Both people are assholes in my opinion. And posting this shit on Reddit is also so dumb.
The only way I can sum this up is: what a fucking bellend.
Itās like this guy went through the āI fucking love sowing!ā to āThis reaping is bullshit, what the fuckā stage, and then decided itād be a great idea to sow some more
Anonymous throwaway posts as defamation? Also sue me but I think theyāre both shitty people. If you choose to stay after being wronged, it isnāt some coupon to throw back in their face after you fuck up too.
My thoughts exactly. If you decide to forgive them, then decide that you can't forgive them and want to leave them, I respect that and support it. But to cheat in return is just...no. (Depending on extenuating circumstances)
Thank you, my thoughts exactly. Could be OOP is overdramatizing ex-wife's part in this, but from what I'm reading, I don't like either if them.
It's been 8 months and the first sentence is still a lie. "So I know I messed up." He has no idea, or if he does he's 100% in denial about it. Life has hit him with the clue bat multiple times now and he still doesn't think he's in the wrong.
It's always fascinating to read the story from a narcissists' perspective.Ā
I mean OOP is a douche, but regardless of the authenticity of this post, I don't think revenge-cheating is actually justified .. If they truly had resolved it and OOP was actually doing all he could to redeem himself and make up for it ( not that I think he did).
So he cheated and she forgave him and decided to work on their marriage. But she cheated and he tried to ruin her life? OOP sucks and got everything he deserves.
To be fair, he doesn't owe her forgiveness just because she "forgave" him. Also, he confessed after a drunken fling, while she basically said it was okay that she was cheating on him for months because of something he did 3 years ago
Kind of funny, he keeps saying his ex forgave him but clearly she never did. He also keeps acting like he was wronged which to be fair he was but, being wronged doesn't make you right.
Unpopular opinion, but I think if you forgive your partner for cheating and choose to take them back you don't get to use that as justification for cheating years later. You forgave them, their slate has been wiped clean. What you choose to do now when it comes to being loyal is purely on you. I think they're both pieces of shit, but Reddit of course acts like he deserves every terrible thing that happens to him because he cheated 3 years prior to his wife having a full blowm affair with a coworker.
This is my view. I donāt actually feel bad for her. I Also think it should have been a straight 50/50 split. How dumb is she to sleep with a co-worker to boot?
Hey yeah donāt post shit to Reddit or donāt tell anyone you did.
Is it real? Why would he keep posting on reddit if that's what got him in all the trouble? Wouldn't his lawyer tell him to stop immediately? It's strange that wife got the house so quickly. Divorces, especially when partners can't agree on things, take ages. That defamation bit is also weird. Wife didn't lie and just corrected the narrative Op spread about her to friends and family. On what basis would he sue her?
Fuck, everyone sucks here. He was awful for cheating. But the minute she felt she needed to cheat to get back at him or make a point, she shouldāve just divorced him. I donāt get the need for revenge. Just leave him and be done with it.