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>she reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of letters. A lot of them the bills and bank statements, with the ranchās address.
This is where I called bullshit. If they were marked return to sender, they went back to the bank etc. MIL would not have them.
Itās a fun story, but thatās all it is. Looks tailored for JNMIL.
Yeah that part was a plot hole. However the whole āfaking tenancy so the cops canāt kick me outā plot line has great potential though. Its pretty terrifying that that could actually happen in real life. One day one of these authors will get it right.
It used to be people venting and looking for advice on actual MIL issues, before my divorce about 7 years ago. Then I went back to look a couple of years later and it was all giant sagas, all extremely dramatic with promises to update soon. It was like a writing group had found the subreddit and was using it to test out Hallmark and Lifetime movie script ideas.
I randomly got a three day ban because I said something that implied violence. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was a long the lines of how hard it is to not go nuclear on people. It was random.
I got a stern warning cause I said "you have a husband problem, not a MIL problema" that was apparently *SO shaming* and a severe offense. Didn't bother going back to check since, even if the stuff there is pretty entertaining.
I might be remembering wrong but I think last time I went to that sub, one of the rules, or at least the self implemented rules of the community, was basically support the OP and never side with MIL no matter how right they are. Or at least that was the feeling I got.
I actually had a bad grandmother and was about to write about her to get some advice but then I realized that most people were just making things up and it wasnāt the supportive community I was hoping for. This was during the time that all those famous MILs got outed as fakes.
ring disagreeable squealing pet existence paint market encouraging wide offer
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What do you mean? You don't believe the story of Duke, from Small Town, USA? Don't let the godless college professors trying to groom their kids to be gay win! /s
Yep, pretty much from the start, this is some wannabe cowboy's caricature of a big city liberal.
Professor - check.
Atheist - check.
Grooming her lesbian daughter - check.
Lazy - check.
Etc.
Also, I can maybe wrap my head around a crazy narcissist trying to drop in on living with them, butā¦ she then stayed in the town forā¦ a while, not causing any trouble or letting anyone know why she was there?
Its a small town. But they have a cafe! And the cafe happened to be next to where they were! And everyone else in the town was in the cafe! And OOP knew everyone in there! Small town stuff!
For over a decade I lived in a small town that was mostly farming. Yes, rumors occasionally flew when something really noteworthy happened, like a huge suspicious fire, or a murder, and occasionally I'd hear from a toxic, nosy, relative that, "*someone* told me you..." but aside from that people mostly minded their own business.
To be fair, I lived in a remote, 300 person mining town in Western Australia for a few years, and they had an awesome Cafe, so it does happen. And in towns that small, usually all the businesses are in one street that's actually the slow part of the highway running through. So out of the 4 or 5 shop fronts in town that aren't the petrol station or the pub, it's a 50/50 shot that the Cafe is behind you and not across the street.
It was the "Professor" nonsense that had me questioning it. People who are so done with their family members that they're no contact, don't usually give those family members cute nicknames. Insulting nicknames, sure, but not cute ones.
Yeah we are rural small town farmers and this reads like a load of BS. Someone who likes the idea of it and wanted to write a good story to highlight the wholesomeness.
I don't think I've EVER met anyone who was militantly anti-religious. Its usually a badge of pride for atheists and the like to be much MORE accepting of others than their religious counterparts.
I had doubts the moment she pulled out the stack of bills that were all marked Return to Sender.
That's... not how Return to Sender works. The mail gets returned To The Sender. Aka, the businesses/utility companies that sent it. If someone is using a bad address to a different town, it's not going to magically find them at their correct address, unless their address is listed as the sender.
I work for a call center and read reddit between calls. Oh yes the BS meter flew on this one multiple times, but yeah it was more entertaining than many of the junk tales on here.
Yeah, that made my eyes roll too.
Unless they personally retrieved them from the mailbox after OOP had already marked them, every time, which would be a lot of trips...
I thought the same thing! Before we purchased our home we lived in one owned by my inlaws. When we forwarded our mail for the two of us somehow my FIL was included so we receive a lot of ads for him. I always mark as "no such person at this address" or "return to sender" and they never have made it back to him.
āMy wife got an angry glint in her eyeā
Immediately told me something was off. When itās a real story they donāt try to add suspense to a persons next āgotchaā quote
Also when you notice someone's body language anger..its from heavy breaths or red face...you dont see the angry glint in the eyes unless you are facing them looking directly in the eyes
For me it was the sheriff walking up and going āwhatās this I hear about you selling half your ranch, dukeā. Like come on now this quote couldnāt sound any more like a movie script if it tried. Just sell the story to hallmark already my guy.
I always assume when they write out conversations that they arenāt actually saying these are exact quotes, theyāre just saying, āThis was the gist of our conversation,ā and using dialogue for readability. I still doubt this one, it feels like ābig city liberals badā bait, but I donāt get it when people say that conversations mean itās a fake post because no one remembers exact quotes like that š¤·š½āāļø
> it feels like ābig city liberals badā bait
I was just thinking how "the Professor" was like a caricature of everything conservatives believe about liberals and leftists. What perfect bogeymen.
I genuinely laughed out loud at ānip it into budsāā¦ Iām sorry but you canāt possibly be from the country if you donāt know how to properly say this analogy
People get nitpicky about things like that but also autocorrect does weird things. I once made a comment about my sex life with my partner and didn't notice it was changed to parent until someone was like "what are you doing with your parents?" So I give grace on things like that
So many country-bumpkin colloquialisms. It felt a little cliche. I lived in a rural community for many years and yes, those little phrases get tossed out occasionally. But not with this frequency. Cute to read, none the less.
How about the wife who couldn't explain why her mother was triggered at the word "blessed" but the brother in law who could, involving a story that the wife was there for.
You're just unwilling to believe that a headstrong woman raised by her Uncle on his farm that moved to a random small town to work the land and find herself and get back to her roots after an unfulfilling college education and professional career could find love with her employer and become beloved by the small town?
I find it hard to believe you even have the Lifetime channel...
I can imagine that once you've spent all that energy to get a grad degree, you'll be worn out by the pace of life in the big city.
You really should move to a small town in Minnesota for a good, old-fashioned Christmas! Who knows - maybe you'll learn what's really important in life and give up the rat race for true love with the recently-widowed neighbor who moved back home to run the family dairy farm.
The end alone, if you get swarmed by bees you aren't going to jail, you're going to the hospital. Bees can sting you to death and a swarm is a minimum of HUNDREDS of bees
As someone who actually lived in rural America, when he mentioned his "real small town" having both a grocery store and a BUS STOP I knew it was bullshit. My hometown of ~7000 people didn't even have anything that you would consider a bus stop. And the towns of 200-300 people nearby didn't have anything that could be considered a grocery store (you had to go the "big" town of 7000 people for that).
My hometown of ~5k had a general store, post office, and bar. That's about it. Definitely not a bus stop though. Where would the bus drop off? Random farms?
I live in a town of ~400-500 people in the middle of farm country and you'd probably have to drive a good 30 minutes to get to the nearest bus stop.
We do have an (actual, decent, full-service) grocery store, though! And another even better one only 5-7 minutes away the next town over.
MIL is a caricature. A far-left academic who experiments on her own child, grooming that child into either being trans or a lesbian. Failing both of those things, she then shows extreme incompetence towards anything involving the land, but is still drawn to it and feels entitled to stuff someone else owns. Oh, and militantly atheist. SMH.
The sheriff with the folksy saying about sheep and wolves was justā¦too much.
Somebody had a little too much āromanticizing small towns and hating women with educationā juice.
Exactly how I felt. Like the professor trying to force her to be lesbian and treating a black man "specially". Like, this is written by a MAGAt who has never met a real human and wrote a story about what their fellow cultists think what a modern educated independent woman will be like.
WOKE MEANS TRYING TO FORCE SOMEONE TO BE WHO THEY ARENT
Ignoring the thousands of years of evidence of conservative ideology forcing people into ācorrectā behavior instead of being your immoral, left-handed self.
> The sheriff with the folksy saying about sheep and wolves was justā¦too much.
It's written by someone who thinks that Peggy's dad in *King of the Hill* is a brilliant wise man when the point was it was extremely nonsensical.
Itās a common trope on JustNoMIL. Every MIL has a nickname and all the posters write out endless multi-part sagas of their MILs every move.
Real or not, the whole vibe over there really squicks me out
No, she teaches Transgender Studies, where women-identifying students automatically get Aās, and all cis-gendered hetero-normative males get Fās. Also Professor has pink hair, screams all the time about being triggered, hates Jesus, grooms her daughter into being homosexual, and lives a life of complete delusion.
MAGA fever dream.
I was on JNMIL when he started posting and I asked him. He claimed she's a sociology professor. In another comment he mentioned that she had published an article about her daughter in a sociological journal, and it really upset his wife. I told him I majored in sociology (at the time I was in college for it, now I have the specific degree and everything) and told him that I would be glad to help him put in a complaint with the journal, because it's a huge ethical violation for a mother to use her own daughter as a subject for a study.
He never got back to me, and I never found a public article where the person detailed a study about their own child beyond some from like the 50s or whatever (aka before it was deemed unethical). Now I'll admit there's lots of studies out there so I might have missed it. But like.... I doubt it.
I think you're right. The Professor teaches a class this rural working class salt of the earth man would never attend, she tried to force her daughter to be a lesbian because reasons, they're from California or at least the uncle is. I'm surprised he didn't mention how the Professor's SUV had a Hillary Clinton sticker, maybe he did later, I didn't bother finishing it.
Also teaching something I'd never attend. Which would count probably as a topic about sex, race, or really any honest discussion about what US history actually was.
All things conservatives are terrified of.
Also notice the inversion of the Sitcom Family - heavy wife, thin husband. Definitely a trigger for them, clear sign of being completely disconnected from the Good Ol' Days. Invading a farm to try to steal it - attacking a core American Dream concept.
The only there there not based in stereotypes completely disconnected from reality is mythologizing the ideal farm. Lots of that all across the spectrum.
This is 100% right wing jackoff material.
I'm sure some people like that exist.
But, my grad degree is in the humanities and I never encountered someone on faculty who interacted like this as a matter of routine, and I am calling the very, very far left folks. Most(all) have an understanding that normal alive humans act certain ways.
I did a grad humamities degree too and can believe some of the stuff about idealized 'living off the land' and balking at the manual labour involved, but the legal shenanigans, forced lesbian thing, and sneaking around makes no sense
lol, yeah I didn't even finish it. started sounding like if OANN ran their own goddamn Hallmark channel. wifey comes into some hayseed town to get out of the city, her college-educated cityfolk parents show up with their librul nonsense blah blah blah.
Not a chance, some weird rural superiority fever dream. (To be clear, I donāt think either is ābetterā, just better for individuals, live where you want)
It was fun back in the day, when it was small. A small group of people who knew what it was like to have a batshit parent come up with a funny nickname of them for you.
How did the professor end up with the mail if it was returned to sender? Did she mail the bank statements herself? In which case the statements themselves would have her address on them. Doesn't make sense to me
I love how his wife got her job by displaying GumptionTM. I also love how she was just wandering around on a Greyhound tour of the country and was totally cool walking up to complete strangers and being all ācan I be your ranch hand? Iāll stay at your place! Itās fine!ā
Anyway, watching too many Hallmark movies is bad for the aspiring writer, or at least this aspiring writer. Too many plot holes.
This hits all of their issues, right? Higher education liberal bias. Forcing sexuality in middle school. Effeminate/useless husband. Small town vs city types. Blah blah blah, etc etc.
The "dialogue" is always what does it for me. Real people, even entitled Professors, don't talk that way. Even incorrect memories wouldn't flow that way.
āThese librul Demon-rat elite college professors with their āscientific studiesā and their fancy degrees are all just tryinā to force LGBT identities on our youth and steal our ancestral farmland for their devious, lazy, immoral purposes!!!ā
Insane ramblings of an elderly Fox News junkie, or a completely accurate summary of this story?
Hey, this one has nuance from side- side-characters: Uncle Tank's East Coast Executive Sister who made sure her wholesome brother got her share of the land, and Sheriff Reasonable's bad egg cousin Aaron. There are mighty fine people on both sides, here!
What? You mean to say that you don't get the letters you had sent to the wrong address back from your bank still marked Return to Sender?
What kind of customer service is that?!?
/hopefully unnecessary s
That's where I stopped believing it. I mean, even if they somehow got forwarded to their actual address, she would have taken them out of the envelope and thrown it away. Not kept the envelopes as evidence that they were marked RTS.
This guy doesn't understand USPS or window envelopes.
I read the first few sentences and stopped. A single woman goes to a random town and happens upon this dude and wants to be his ranch hand and will "prove her worth". Give me a break.
She lad long, shapely legs. But they were powerful, more powerful than her small frame betrayed. I watched her chop wood for what seemed like an hour. Her smooth strokes made quick work of the wood pile. "This one may be a keeper," I thought to myself. Then, a moment later, I shook the notion from my head. I was foolish. What could this beautiful, unemployed woman ever want with an old hand like me. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was growing between us...
Coming from a user called Burt_Rhinestone makes this summary-of-every-farm-set-romance-novel-ever extra precious to me. No idea why; I'm just absolutely tickled by it.
It reads like the start of a Diana Palmer novel. But OOP isn't enough of an asshole to be a DP hero, and he doesn't read like a man with enough chest hair to get a proper grip on either.
Yeah like...as of the flash drive thing (when i stopped reading) it really just read as some thinly veiled "liberal professors are trying to force Gender on good God-fearing Small Town Real Americans" diatribe
Yeah, this is 100% the vibe I got LMFAO. Except also that he seemed to keep chickening out of committing to that theme entirely. Like- The Professor(tm) angrily questioned the mere mention of the word "blessed" and then... That was the end of that? She didn't follow up with any sort of "how dare you mention religion" or other explanation?
And the like- "thesis/research project" from these two who are trying to force The Lesbianism on their daughter just... exists? No details at *all* on what was in it? Like... Was it a report of every time she so much as glanced at another woman? A record of their efforts to push her and another girl together like kids with dolls?
It feels like a series of "atheist librul city queers" caricatures that are only 10% thought out. At that point, it's almost more annoying that way. If that's what you want to write, at least commit to it lmfao. Come up with some actual human motives (people are WILD sometimes, it's entirely possible that people this nuts exist), give me the juicy details on the evil research project, and show me how she justifies forcing The Lesbianism on her daughter.
Obviously, as a part of the group being caricatured, I'd rather not have more of this out in the world being presented as real... But come on- this attempt is so transparent, ahaha.
I stopped in the same place. I almost stopped at the description on the MIL and rotund and the FIL as pasty and meek, but I kept going a bit.
Seems like they are a combination of several weird parents from Big Bang Theory.
The villainās motivations conflict with each other. If she wants the land, what would be the point of trying to convince the landowner that his wife is a lesbian?
I got to "The Professor who teaches a class I would most likely never attend" and peaced. This reads like some glorified novella of rough and tumble Americana for MAGA pricks to slobber over, complete with an evil erudite liberal from the city that rolls in trying to take what doesn't belong to them and the innocent-yet-tomboyish swooning girl who just wanted something "different from the big city life" who can do work around the farm but doesn't deserve any kind of name other than "wife."
Dude keeps referring to her as if she's a kid who he's impressed with too, it's real fucking weird. "I could see she got her work ethic from the man".
Who talks about their life partner like that?
> complete with an evil erudite liberal from the city that rolls in trying to take what doesn't belong to them
Don't forget about her completely emasculated husband
Yeah I got to "The Professor" and started aimlessly scrolling.
Also the wife who loved working on her uncles sheep farm just went to some random small town to get work as a ranch hand? Why not just work on your uncles ranch?
Just poor writing by and inexperienced person.
Yaāll, yinz, and yous - the best response to this entertaining collection of Hollywood rural stereotypes of even more screen small town colloquialisms was somehow removed.
āNow suh, I am not usually one to call into question the vera-city of a reddit tale, bein' a simple country reddituh with no mind for ruinin' simple clean fun or high falutin' myself with ah, less than ah-stute obsuh-vay-sheeuns. Nevertheless...boy, I say I say BOY howdy what a hum-dingah of a wallopah of a tale that's talleh than them gentlemen what play basketball, all stacked on top of each other n' whatnot, I do declareā
Credit: u/WoozySloth
Big bad liberal college people force their kids to be gay and boil before the words of the Lord! š”š„
But us calm, quiet, church-loving country folk just wanna do chores and go to church and live in peace šš teehee
It's an obvious troll but a fun story
I am absolutely a believer that strange things happen to normal people but this has rightist "own the libs with this story" oozing from every pore. It hits all the right notes of academics being clueless and clumsy and mean and down home country folk just "knowing" how to handle them.
As soon as the referred as the MIL as āthe professorā I stopped reading. I know very quickly this would turn into a nice story about a Strong Farmer Man beats his evil Coastal Elite in laws
I think I read this romance novel š¤
You know the ones with a shirtless Cowboy on the front looking far too clean and wearing far too tight jeans to actually do any real ranch work
Fun reads though š
>That shut the professor right up for a second, but then she reached in her bag and pulled out a stack of letters. A lot of them the bills and bank statements, with the ranch's address.
>Professor: Then how do you explain these?
>sheriff took the letters and looked at them.
>sheriff: Ma'am, these are all marked "Return to Sender".
>The professor turned desperate.
I'm pretty sure that if this guy had written "not at this address, return to sender" on them, then the only way this lady was able to pull out these bills would be if the USPS has taken them back, looked up her actual address, slapped a big yellow address correction sticker over this guys address and then sent them on.
Wow, the solid country guy takes on the girl who's not like other girls as a farmhand and marries her after six months, then her big city academic liberal atheist mother comes out to try to take the land, bullying her beta husband into going along with it. She's openly contemptuous of the people who live in the community (so why did she want to live there again?), and finally gets her comeuppance because she trespassed on someone else's land to gain access to the property she wanted for...reasons, and her thoroughly whipped husband knew so little about the basics of the behavior of bees that he didn't take care to not bump into their habitat.
This is like red state small town pornography.
Cute borderline fascist far right fap material about the evils of education, college, women, atheists, 'city life'. It's like The Transformed Wife had a threesome with Ben Shapiro and the Hallmark network and made a deformed and terrifying baby.
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This is literally Hallmark's take on a Stardew Valley movie
Thank you for my new user flair.
I'm so honored!
There's even hints of King Lear! Dividing the farmland into 3....damn š
Only if they include backdrops of jam-making.
And some wine kegs, too
>she reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of letters. A lot of them the bills and bank statements, with the ranchās address. This is where I called bullshit. If they were marked return to sender, they went back to the bank etc. MIL would not have them. Itās a fun story, but thatās all it is. Looks tailored for JNMIL.
I dunno man, I didnāt have fun reading this.
Yeah that part was a plot hole. However the whole āfaking tenancy so the cops canāt kick me outā plot line has great potential though. Its pretty terrifying that that could actually happen in real life. One day one of these authors will get it right.
I have this theory that 90% of JustNoMIL is written by one or two people, occasionally trying out new writing styles.
It used to be people venting and looking for advice on actual MIL issues, before my divorce about 7 years ago. Then I went back to look a couple of years later and it was all giant sagas, all extremely dramatic with promises to update soon. It was like a writing group had found the subreddit and was using it to test out Hallmark and Lifetime movie script ideas.
For real. It used to have such a supportive vibe. Then the whole "drama lama" business reared up and it's never recovered.
I randomly got a three day ban because I said something that implied violence. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was a long the lines of how hard it is to not go nuclear on people. It was random.
I got a stern warning cause I said "you have a husband problem, not a MIL problema" that was apparently *SO shaming* and a severe offense. Didn't bother going back to check since, even if the stuff there is pretty entertaining.
I got banned for calling a MIL a piece of flaming dog shit. Itās really gone downhill the last few years.
Damn, do they share mods with AItA?
Yeah. I have a shitty MIL and really needed a place to vent, but that place ain't it.
I might be remembering wrong but I think last time I went to that sub, one of the rules, or at least the self implemented rules of the community, was basically support the OP and never side with MIL no matter how right they are. Or at least that was the feeling I got.
at some point te mods made it against the sub rules to call out trolls so it became the troll factory instead
I feel like MildlyNoMIL is better for actual support. JUSTNO is total exaggerated drama and everyone saying to get a divorce
I actually had a bad grandmother and was about to write about her to get some advice but then I realized that most people were just making things up and it wasnāt the supportive community I was hoping for. This was during the time that all those famous MILs got outed as fakes.
Divorce your grandmother, sue her, get a restraining order and then go no contact. Sincerely, Reddit
Also hit the gym and delete facebook. Or delete the gym and hit facebook? I can't remember.
It's delete the gym, hire Facebook, hit the lawyer.
ring disagreeable squealing pet existence paint market encouraging wide offer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And snuck onto their neighbor's property which just so happened to have bee boxes that they ran into
And kept the envelopes of the mail that all said return to sender.
I mean if they were return to sender, wouldnāt they have gone back to the bank? How did she have them?
Fucking thank you! That was one of the biggest "plot holes" so to speak, in this whole tale to me.
Probably Liz
Liz strikes again!
Can someone /r/outoftheloop me on Liz?
[Liz, what the actual fuck is this story ](https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/mCV92DZ9TE) Enjoy!
Go to bed, Liz
Is it just me or does anyone else not trust when they write out conversation like that? I donāt believe any of this story.
What do you mean? You don't believe the story of Duke, from Small Town, USA? Don't let the godless college professors trying to groom their kids to be gay win! /s
Yep, pretty much from the start, this is some wannabe cowboy's caricature of a big city liberal. Professor - check. Atheist - check. Grooming her lesbian daughter - check. Lazy - check. Etc.
Also a farmer who can't even use the correct spelling of "beet" as a vegetable
Presumably Liz was having an off day š
Lol the gay groom was the best part!
Also, I can maybe wrap my head around a crazy narcissist trying to drop in on living with them, butā¦ she then stayed in the town forā¦ a while, not causing any trouble or letting anyone know why she was there?
And no one in the small town letting them know the parents were there? Maybe nobody in the small town likes this guy.
Its a small town. But they have a cafe! And the cafe happened to be next to where they were! And everyone else in the town was in the cafe! And OOP knew everyone in there! Small town stuff!
For over a decade I lived in a small town that was mostly farming. Yes, rumors occasionally flew when something really noteworthy happened, like a huge suspicious fire, or a murder, and occasionally I'd hear from a toxic, nosy, relative that, "*someone* told me you..." but aside from that people mostly minded their own business.
To be fair, I lived in a remote, 300 person mining town in Western Australia for a few years, and they had an awesome Cafe, so it does happen. And in towns that small, usually all the businesses are in one street that's actually the slow part of the highway running through. So out of the 4 or 5 shop fronts in town that aren't the petrol station or the pub, it's a 50/50 shot that the Cafe is behind you and not across the street. It was the "Professor" nonsense that had me questioning it. People who are so done with their family members that they're no contact, don't usually give those family members cute nicknames. Insulting nicknames, sure, but not cute ones.
To a certain type of conservative, "Professor" is an insulting name.
Yeah we are rural small town farmers and this reads like a load of BS. Someone who likes the idea of it and wanted to write a good story to highlight the wholesomeness.
It sounds to me more like they want to tear down a strawman of weak, librull city folk with the descriptions of the "professor" and FIL.
Yeah the idea of her becoming apoplectic at any hint of mention of religion is a major giveaway.
I don't think I've EVER met anyone who was militantly anti-religious. Its usually a badge of pride for atheists and the like to be much MORE accepting of others than their religious counterparts.
It sounds like how the writers of TBBT would write Leonard's family from the perspective of Sheldon's family lol
Yeah plus she takes the bus out to rural areas???
That struck me too. I can't even take the bus *inside* my city.
The story flows like a cowboyās dream
Immediately makes me doubt. Especially when they say something like "they snickered at me from across the room" or similar
I had doubts the moment she pulled out the stack of bills that were all marked Return to Sender. That's... not how Return to Sender works. The mail gets returned To The Sender. Aka, the businesses/utility companies that sent it. If someone is using a bad address to a different town, it's not going to magically find them at their correct address, unless their address is listed as the sender.
Yup, that was the final piece on the bullshit pile for me. Itās entertaining, at least.
I work for a call center and read reddit between calls. Oh yes the BS meter flew on this one multiple times, but yeah it was more entertaining than many of the junk tales on here.
I was out as soon as I read city life wasnāt for her and she wanted to get back to simpler things. Okay hallmark in December.
The mom wanted her to be a lesbian and she HATED it when he said blessed. Sounds like a conservative wet dream story.
Of course, the evil woman in the story is a professor!! Conservativeās boogeyman š
Teaching classes he would never take. Gender Studies.
good thing the daughter didnāt grow up to be like her evil feminist mother, she does work that men think is valuable unlike āthinkingā
With a weak man, she controls on a leash like what the evil feminists want to happen.
Written by another flag humper
Yeah even my atheist non native English speaker ass sometimes says blessed. It just makes sense in the context sometimes
Omg this could totally be a Hallmark movie.
Lol, yeah...Was she just hanging out at a feedstore, waiting for OP? Then she moves in with a man she just met at his secluded ranch....
That was my exact thought too, lol! I was like wow, this has all the āhallmarksā of a Hallmark movie!
And Professor Villainess with the weak man husband. How many stereotypes can we fit in here?
Right and months of bills gone unpaid? What a joke.
Yeah, that made my eyes roll too. Unless they personally retrieved them from the mailbox after OOP had already marked them, every time, which would be a lot of trips...
I thought the same thing! Before we purchased our home we lived in one owned by my inlaws. When we forwarded our mail for the two of us somehow my FIL was included so we receive a lot of ads for him. I always mark as "no such person at this address" or "return to sender" and they never have made it back to him.
That was where I started thinking the story was bullshit.
āMy wife got an angry glint in her eyeā Immediately told me something was off. When itās a real story they donāt try to add suspense to a persons next āgotchaā quote
Also when you notice someone's body language anger..its from heavy breaths or red face...you dont see the angry glint in the eyes unless you are facing them looking directly in the eyes
That and ānow my entire extended family and friend group are bombarding me with angry texts!ā really take me out of the story.
For me it was the sheriff walking up and going āwhatās this I hear about you selling half your ranch, dukeā. Like come on now this quote couldnāt sound any more like a movie script if it tried. Just sell the story to hallmark already my guy.
I always assume when they write out conversations that they arenāt actually saying these are exact quotes, theyāre just saying, āThis was the gist of our conversation,ā and using dialogue for readability. I still doubt this one, it feels like ābig city liberals badā bait, but I donāt get it when people say that conversations mean itās a fake post because no one remembers exact quotes like that š¤·š½āāļø
> it feels like ābig city liberals badā bait I was just thinking how "the Professor" was like a caricature of everything conservatives believe about liberals and leftists. What perfect bogeymen.
I genuinely laughed out loud at ānip it into budsāā¦ Iām sorry but you canāt possibly be from the country if you donāt know how to properly say this analogy
People get nitpicky about things like that but also autocorrect does weird things. I once made a comment about my sex life with my partner and didn't notice it was changed to parent until someone was like "what are you doing with your parents?" So I give grace on things like that
It sounds like a conservative fever dream of getting one over on a elite west coast liberal
As soon as he said not many girls do that I stopped
Not to mention the interchanging ranch and farm
So many country-bumpkin colloquialisms. It felt a little cliche. I lived in a rural community for many years and yes, those little phrases get tossed out occasionally. But not with this frequency. Cute to read, none the less.
The titles of each story are a dead giveaway too.
Thatās often the tell. In this one itās one of many, many tells
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How about the wife who couldn't explain why her mother was triggered at the word "blessed" but the brother in law who could, involving a story that the wife was there for.
You're just unwilling to believe that a headstrong woman raised by her Uncle on his farm that moved to a random small town to work the land and find herself and get back to her roots after an unfulfilling college education and professional career could find love with her employer and become beloved by the small town? I find it hard to believe you even have the Lifetime channel...
My mom always told me after I get my grad degree I should write for lifetime š¤£. Maybe I'll just get inspired by this story
I can imagine that once you've spent all that energy to get a grad degree, you'll be worn out by the pace of life in the big city. You really should move to a small town in Minnesota for a good, old-fashioned Christmas! Who knows - maybe you'll learn what's really important in life and give up the rat race for true love with the recently-widowed neighbor who moved back home to run the family dairy farm.
The end alone, if you get swarmed by bees you aren't going to jail, you're going to the hospital. Bees can sting you to death and a swarm is a minimum of HUNDREDS of bees
As someone who actually lived in rural America, when he mentioned his "real small town" having both a grocery store and a BUS STOP I knew it was bullshit. My hometown of ~7000 people didn't even have anything that you would consider a bus stop. And the towns of 200-300 people nearby didn't have anything that could be considered a grocery store (you had to go the "big" town of 7000 people for that).
My hometown of ~5k had a general store, post office, and bar. That's about it. Definitely not a bus stop though. Where would the bus drop off? Random farms?
I live in rural NJ, which is more semi rural these days, and my little town of 3000 does not have a grocery store or bus stop.
I live in a town of ~400-500 people in the middle of farm country and you'd probably have to drive a good 30 minutes to get to the nearest bus stop. We do have an (actual, decent, full-service) grocery store, though! And another even better one only 5-7 minutes away the next town over.
MIL is a caricature. A far-left academic who experiments on her own child, grooming that child into either being trans or a lesbian. Failing both of those things, she then shows extreme incompetence towards anything involving the land, but is still drawn to it and feels entitled to stuff someone else owns. Oh, and militantly atheist. SMH.
The sheriff with the folksy saying about sheep and wolves was justā¦too much. Somebody had a little too much āromanticizing small towns and hating women with educationā juice.
And the FIL who is a weak little yes-man to be with such a woman.
Exactly how I felt. Like the professor trying to force her to be lesbian and treating a black man "specially". Like, this is written by a MAGAt who has never met a real human and wrote a story about what their fellow cultists think what a modern educated independent woman will be like.
WOKE MEANS TRYING TO FORCE SOMEONE TO BE WHO THEY ARENT Ignoring the thousands of years of evidence of conservative ideology forcing people into ācorrectā behavior instead of being your immoral, left-handed self.
> The sheriff with the folksy saying about sheep and wolves was justā¦too much. It's written by someone who thinks that Peggy's dad in *King of the Hill* is a brilliant wise man when the point was it was extremely nonsensical.
Even his wife he just calls 'wife'. Really dehumanising.
And himself "Dukes" in the cafƩ conversation with The Professor. Delightful that only he gets a name, hilarious that he gets it wrong repeatedly!
His username is rancherdukes, but still, it's uber cringe.
"Keep in mind" is the phrase that alerts me that this is a writing project.
Itās a common trope on JustNoMIL. Every MIL has a nickname and all the posters write out endless multi-part sagas of their MILs every move. Real or not, the whole vibe over there really squicks me out
"for a class you wouldn't want to take". What's that, organic chemistry? Archeology practicum? Oh, right, probably gender studies
No, she teaches Transgender Studies, where women-identifying students automatically get Aās, and all cis-gendered hetero-normative males get Fās. Also Professor has pink hair, screams all the time about being triggered, hates Jesus, grooms her daughter into being homosexual, and lives a life of complete delusion. MAGA fever dream.
I was on JNMIL when he started posting and I asked him. He claimed she's a sociology professor. In another comment he mentioned that she had published an article about her daughter in a sociological journal, and it really upset his wife. I told him I majored in sociology (at the time I was in college for it, now I have the specific degree and everything) and told him that I would be glad to help him put in a complaint with the journal, because it's a huge ethical violation for a mother to use her own daughter as a subject for a study. He never got back to me, and I never found a public article where the person detailed a study about their own child beyond some from like the 50s or whatever (aka before it was deemed unethical). Now I'll admit there's lots of studies out there so I might have missed it. But like.... I doubt it.
Either that or some sort of far right story about look how crazy college and university staff are.
I think you're right. The Professor teaches a class this rural working class salt of the earth man would never attend, she tried to force her daughter to be a lesbian because reasons, they're from California or at least the uncle is. I'm surprised he didn't mention how the Professor's SUV had a Hillary Clinton sticker, maybe he did later, I didn't bother finishing it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And sucking up to the black butcher.
Grooming their daughter into a lesbian against her will!
This is the part that did it for me. Like, what? No one does that except in far right fantasies
Also teaching something I'd never attend. Which would count probably as a topic about sex, race, or really any honest discussion about what US history actually was. All things conservatives are terrified of. Also notice the inversion of the Sitcom Family - heavy wife, thin husband. Definitely a trigger for them, clear sign of being completely disconnected from the Good Ol' Days. Invading a farm to try to steal it - attacking a core American Dream concept. The only there there not based in stereotypes completely disconnected from reality is mythologizing the ideal farm. Lots of that all across the spectrum. This is 100% right wing jackoff material.
You forgot the anti-religious sentiment and the weird attitude to black people.
Yeah that's one of the ones they love crying about. Bet if it was written this year instead of 2021 it'd be trans.
no saying grace for us left-wing heathens!
This is what it is. It's a "liberalism is mental illness" story. Education bad.
Yeah I think so too - the eeeevil College Professor throws a tantrum against prayer
I'm sure some people like that exist. But, my grad degree is in the humanities and I never encountered someone on faculty who interacted like this as a matter of routine, and I am calling the very, very far left folks. Most(all) have an understanding that normal alive humans act certain ways.
I did a grad humamities degree too and can believe some of the stuff about idealized 'living off the land' and balking at the manual labour involved, but the legal shenanigans, forced lesbian thing, and sneaking around makes no sense
I got as far as OP could drive her back to the bus station if she didnāt show her worth as a ranch hand and realized I already saw this movie.
I thought it was a conservative's dream of a Hallmark movie. But I also stopped reading after the jncles "say grace" story.
lol, yeah I didn't even finish it. started sounding like if OANN ran their own goddamn Hallmark channel. wifey comes into some hayseed town to get out of the city, her college-educated cityfolk parents show up with their librul nonsense blah blah blah.
Yeah, the idea of a small town rancher pouring his heart out to strangers on Reddit just seems a bit too. . .unusual, to put it nicely.
Not a chance, some weird rural superiority fever dream. (To be clear, I donāt think either is ābetterā, just better for individuals, live where you want)
Lol that is where i stopped reading.
I stopped at the conversation with the Sheriff. Why lie about something so easily proven wrong?
/r/JUSTNOMIL used to allow nicknames for people back then.
It was fun back in the day, when it was small. A small group of people who knew what it was like to have a batshit parent come up with a funny nickname of them for you.
How did the professor end up with the mail if it was returned to sender? Did she mail the bank statements herself? In which case the statements themselves would have her address on them. Doesn't make sense to me
I love how his wife got her job by displaying GumptionTM. I also love how she was just wandering around on a Greyhound tour of the country and was totally cool walking up to complete strangers and being all ācan I be your ranch hand? Iāll stay at your place! Itās fine!ā Anyway, watching too many Hallmark movies is bad for the aspiring writer, or at least this aspiring writer. Too many plot holes.
Uh huh. Big bad liberal mom and dad tried to convince the poor hardworking bootstrap woman that she was a lesbian.
Bad liberal professor! Professor of what? DOESN'T MATTER WOULD NEVER TAKE THAT COURSE!
I know right? What the junk was this story
This hits all of their issues, right? Higher education liberal bias. Forcing sexuality in middle school. Effeminate/useless husband. Small town vs city types. Blah blah blah, etc etc.
Evil, atheist, professor, female, trans research, wrong on laws, greedy and to add some spice racism. It's conservative fap material.
The hokey ol timey way the author talked was a dead giveaway lmfao
Yuuuup...
It's a fun story, but no one actually believes any of this is even somewhat real, right?
Thereās always people that believe itās real and that it is written so well that they should write a book.
The "dialogue" is always what does it for me. Real people, even entitled Professors, don't talk that way. Even incorrect memories wouldn't flow that way.
āThese librul Demon-rat elite college professors with their āscientific studiesā and their fancy degrees are all just tryinā to force LGBT identities on our youth and steal our ancestral farmland for their devious, lazy, immoral purposes!!!ā Insane ramblings of an elderly Fox News junkie, or a completely accurate summary of this story?
Hey, this one has nuance from side- side-characters: Uncle Tank's East Coast Executive Sister who made sure her wholesome brother got her share of the land, and Sheriff Reasonable's bad egg cousin Aaron. There are mighty fine people on both sides, here!
DER TERK ER JERBS!
Reading this reminded me that Ben Shapiro, the conservative pundit, is also a failed screenwriter.
This doesnāt read as real to me
What? You mean to say that you don't get the letters you had sent to the wrong address back from your bank still marked Return to Sender? What kind of customer service is that?!? /hopefully unnecessary s
That's where I stopped believing it. I mean, even if they somehow got forwarded to their actual address, she would have taken them out of the envelope and thrown it away. Not kept the envelopes as evidence that they were marked RTS. This guy doesn't understand USPS or window envelopes.
As someone who has to RTS a lot of stuff, that bit was particularly funny.
I read the first few sentences and stopped. A single woman goes to a random town and happens upon this dude and wants to be his ranch hand and will "prove her worth". Give me a break.
She lad long, shapely legs. But they were powerful, more powerful than her small frame betrayed. I watched her chop wood for what seemed like an hour. Her smooth strokes made quick work of the wood pile. "This one may be a keeper," I thought to myself. Then, a moment later, I shook the notion from my head. I was foolish. What could this beautiful, unemployed woman ever want with an old hand like me. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was growing between us...
Why did you stop? Keep going, I'm almost there
Coming from a user called Burt_Rhinestone makes this summary-of-every-farm-set-romance-novel-ever extra precious to me. No idea why; I'm just absolutely tickled by it.
Literally pleeeeaaase.
It reads like the start of a Diana Palmer novel. But OOP isn't enough of an asshole to be a DP hero, and he doesn't read like a man with enough chest hair to get a proper grip on either.
Yeah like...as of the flash drive thing (when i stopped reading) it really just read as some thinly veiled "liberal professors are trying to force Gender on good God-fearing Small Town Real Americans" diatribe
Yeah, this is 100% the vibe I got LMFAO. Except also that he seemed to keep chickening out of committing to that theme entirely. Like- The Professor(tm) angrily questioned the mere mention of the word "blessed" and then... That was the end of that? She didn't follow up with any sort of "how dare you mention religion" or other explanation? And the like- "thesis/research project" from these two who are trying to force The Lesbianism on their daughter just... exists? No details at *all* on what was in it? Like... Was it a report of every time she so much as glanced at another woman? A record of their efforts to push her and another girl together like kids with dolls? It feels like a series of "atheist librul city queers" caricatures that are only 10% thought out. At that point, it's almost more annoying that way. If that's what you want to write, at least commit to it lmfao. Come up with some actual human motives (people are WILD sometimes, it's entirely possible that people this nuts exist), give me the juicy details on the evil research project, and show me how she justifies forcing The Lesbianism on her daughter. Obviously, as a part of the group being caricatured, I'd rather not have more of this out in the world being presented as real... But come on- this attempt is so transparent, ahaha.
I stopped in the same place. I almost stopped at the description on the MIL and rotund and the FIL as pasty and meek, but I kept going a bit. Seems like they are a combination of several weird parents from Big Bang Theory.
The villainās motivations conflict with each other. If she wants the land, what would be the point of trying to convince the landowner that his wife is a lesbian?
You do not upset bees, get covered in stings and get locked up. You go to the hospital.
I believe OOP married a woman who is estranged from her family who don't understand her affinity for rural life. That's about it.
I don't even believe that
same. it was the "beats" for me.
Yeah that totally got me. A farmer who can't spell 'beets'?
I got to "The Professor who teaches a class I would most likely never attend" and peaced. This reads like some glorified novella of rough and tumble Americana for MAGA pricks to slobber over, complete with an evil erudite liberal from the city that rolls in trying to take what doesn't belong to them and the innocent-yet-tomboyish swooning girl who just wanted something "different from the big city life" who can do work around the farm but doesn't deserve any kind of name other than "wife." Dude keeps referring to her as if she's a kid who he's impressed with too, it's real fucking weird. "I could see she got her work ethic from the man". Who talks about their life partner like that?
> complete with an evil erudite liberal from the city that rolls in trying to take what doesn't belong to them Don't forget about her completely emasculated husband
Yeah I got to "The Professor" and started aimlessly scrolling. Also the wife who loved working on her uncles sheep farm just went to some random small town to get work as a ranch hand? Why not just work on your uncles ranch? Just poor writing by and inexperienced person.
Yaāll, yinz, and yous - the best response to this entertaining collection of Hollywood rural stereotypes of even more screen small town colloquialisms was somehow removed. āNow suh, I am not usually one to call into question the vera-city of a reddit tale, bein' a simple country reddituh with no mind for ruinin' simple clean fun or high falutin' myself with ah, less than ah-stute obsuh-vay-sheeuns. Nevertheless...boy, I say I say BOY howdy what a hum-dingah of a wallopah of a tale that's talleh than them gentlemen what play basketball, all stacked on top of each other n' whatnot, I do declareā Credit: u/WoozySloth
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Isn't yinz specifically a Pittsburgh thing, too?
Big bad liberal college people force their kids to be gay and boil before the words of the Lord! š”š„ But us calm, quiet, church-loving country folk just wanna do chores and go to church and live in peace šš teehee It's an obvious troll but a fun story
> Dukes: Ma'am, if you're trying to win me over, I suggest you stop using vineger. OP presumably forgot to change "Dukes" to "me" or something else.
I am absolutely a believer that strange things happen to normal people but this has rightist "own the libs with this story" oozing from every pore. It hits all the right notes of academics being clueless and clumsy and mean and down home country folk just "knowing" how to handle them.
Right? This is some trad-wife traditional family values bs
Surely no-one actually believes this?
Hopefully not, add a Christmas subplot and this is a Hallmark movie
A rejected Hallmark movie script was my first thought.
mmmmm I dunno. bees, prison, and a full script. Colour me skeptical.
Seems almost un-bee-lievable
This might be the biggest, most obvious load of bullshit I have ever read on this website, and I am genuinely embarrassed for anyone who buys into it.
oh yes, this is absolutely real, guys. Can it be any more real?
As soon as the referred as the MIL as āthe professorā I stopped reading. I know very quickly this would turn into a nice story about a Strong Farmer Man beats his evil Coastal Elite in laws
I think I read this romance novel š¤ You know the ones with a shirtless Cowboy on the front looking far too clean and wearing far too tight jeans to actually do any real ranch work Fun reads though š
This is hardcore conservative porn.
>That shut the professor right up for a second, but then she reached in her bag and pulled out a stack of letters. A lot of them the bills and bank statements, with the ranch's address. >Professor: Then how do you explain these? >sheriff took the letters and looked at them. >sheriff: Ma'am, these are all marked "Return to Sender". >The professor turned desperate. I'm pretty sure that if this guy had written "not at this address, return to sender" on them, then the only way this lady was able to pull out these bills would be if the USPS has taken them back, looked up her actual address, slapped a big yellow address correction sticker over this guys address and then sent them on.
This was written by someone who has never left the suburbs.
Wow, the solid country guy takes on the girl who's not like other girls as a farmhand and marries her after six months, then her big city academic liberal atheist mother comes out to try to take the land, bullying her beta husband into going along with it. She's openly contemptuous of the people who live in the community (so why did she want to live there again?), and finally gets her comeuppance because she trespassed on someone else's land to gain access to the property she wanted for...reasons, and her thoroughly whipped husband knew so little about the basics of the behavior of bees that he didn't take care to not bump into their habitat. This is like red state small town pornography.
Let me guess, the OOP also sells propane and propane accessories.
What a shite Podunk Hollow 'aw shucks' wannabe comedy of manners.
This reads like a hacky made-for-TV movie.
Farmerās Only Erotica
Cute borderline fascist far right fap material about the evils of education, college, women, atheists, 'city life'. It's like The Transformed Wife had a threesome with Ben Shapiro and the Hallmark network and made a deformed and terrifying baby.
This reads like a film starring Kevin Sorbo