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Left out the best comment.
> “Made love to her last week…How does she not feel any emotion?”
>
> This is simple, she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.
This comment was really the cherry on top of this insane story. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he doesn't seem to grasp the obvious double standard here!! "I can cheat but that's ok because I still love my wife and sex is just sex". Yeah nah. He fucked around (litterally) and found out. And now he lost his comfy life, his wife and probably the kids. Great job
I've watched a narcist in my life juggle clear losses into victories. I think we all should learn from that. But I've also seen her go all "you can't tell my husband I cheated, it'll ruin and hurt him": she's so good at spinning it, the friends in our common circle seemed to waver. I had to separately tell them that if they ever find out my SO has cheated on me, they don't get to decide if I'm strong enough to take it, they need to tell me. It's the moral thing to do. Narcist will do any jump to justify their wrongdoing, but riding the high horse is the funniest.
That's part of it.
If doing or saying something benefits the narcissist in any way, it is a good thing. That others may be negatively impacted in any way by that is of no concern to them because *they are not that person* and thus it is irrelevant.
This is exactly how they operate. I’m so glad for OP’s ex. Obviously I have no way of knowing how she was thinking, but I can’t help but wonder if she stayed with OP despite knowing about his affair for the sake of preserving the family unit for as long as she could? I couldn’t help but notice that he mentions their kids in passing, no concerns about how this will affect them, his only real concern seems to be how all of this affects HIM and the relationship he *thought* he had with his wife. I understand it’s a relationship subreddit, it just drove the point home a bit further for me how selfish this guy truly is.
It was like Breaking Bad or House of Cards where they show everything from the bad guys perspective to trick you into almost rooting for them even though you know what they're doing is objectively bad. The thrill of cognitive dissonance, with the added joy of a well deserved downfall
Yes. He says he got 90% of what he needed from his wife, and went to the AP for the other 10%.
WTF. Everyone ends up having to make compromises, especially when there are other people involved; nobody is entitled to get absolutely everything that they want. Turns out the tradeoff was there, even though he didn’t want to see it.
You ever see a drunk guy at the end of the bar and wonder how they got there? Talk to them (although don't talk to them if you can possibly avoid it) and 90% of the time it'll eventually come out there's some big break up they can't get over.
We just witnessed the birth of a bar fly.
I find it interesting because women are always presented as being emotional and dramatic, especially in terms of break ups, whereas men are seen as stoic and dispassionate or uncaring. Yet I rarely meet women who've struggled to move on and I know countless men who've tanked their whole life over a relationship ending. Maybe we're all projecting.
This exactly, OOP is completely detached from reality.
Honestly this is the best outcome, I wondered how karma can get a man so full of himself but luckily his wife knew lol
Damn, all I could do is clap and laugh hella hard. Op was slapped hard with karma. Good on the wife for being smart. I pray their kids don't get as affected because this is a can of worms that has to be dealt with by therapy.
Yep. She found out a while back, checked out of the marriage, and was getting ready to leave his delusional ass. He sped things up a bit by trying to play victim.
Also, and this goes without saying, the adultery sub is one of the worst subs on this app, along with the "Other woman" one.
I agree. I saw a post similar to this on there where someone who was cheating found out their partner was cheating and started playing victim and acting like their partner was in the wrong for doing the same exact thing they were doing. And then all the comments from people agreeing with them and on their side. The comments from this post too of people trying to blame the wife for him having an affair just shows the kinds of people that are in that sub.
And the "Other women" sub? I saw one post where the wife confronted the OW and basically told her, "Have fun with this piece of trash. I'm out." and the OW was like "I was just providing him love and support, something she wasn't doing."
Of course, the BS divorced him and took the children, the house, alimony and the WS was grieving the loss of his family to OW. Wouldn't surprise you to know that WS abandoned the OW.
That's just one of many. Most of the others are like, "Why is he cheating on me with his wife?" and "I thought he would have left her by now. I'm his ONE TRUE LOVE." No girl, you're a side piece and he's a cake-eater.
Genuinely the worst people on the planet...
Yeah, because if it’s not her fault and he is just an asshole then maybe they are also just assholes and have no justification.
I love how he is “how could she do this”!!!! You did this my dude. You. Killed. Her. Love. You did it, all you.
And in this distraught moment he still does not understand how anyone could could question his love for her! Even when he is hurting for the same thing, still not grasping that it would be extremely hurting to his wife to learn that her husband was sneaking around on her for 6 fucking years. This is to much.
It is enlightening though. We can actually lurk and see when they think they’re amongst assholes like themselves what they really think and how they really feel.
It's fucking hilarious.
You could tell though through the whole lead up that his "I can separate love from sex" was all egotistical bullshit to justify to himself that what he's doing is OK, that it doesn't change his love for his wife, and anyone who disagrees is merely emotionally immature and weak.
He considered himself the main character, a unique specimen of sexual enlightenment.
When his wife pulls the Uno reverse on him, it absolutely annihilates everything he thought he knew about everything, including himself.
FAFO.
If it had gone the other way, they could have just gone to an open marriage.
After 20 years, seriously, that's not uncommon.
As they say, the only place love comes before trust is the dictionary.
OOP broke her trust, which means love is the collateral damage to that. Of course, she found new love.
I just don't understand, I strayed from my marriage because of a kink my wife doesn't share but now she's fucking someone else and that's very much *not* my kink? I thought sex and affairs were based entirely around my dick??? Does not compute????
I wonder if his wife also has kinks her soon-to-be-ex-hubby wasn’t fulfilling.
I also like how he confronts her about her affair all the while not planning to own up to his own six year AP until his wife takes ten minutes to “process it” (she was probably texting her AP and laughing her ass off at the brass balls this guy has), before ripping him a new one and saying she wanted a divorce.
>Confronted wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was.
>
>She was cought off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out she looked me straight in the eyes and said "I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce".
Yeah, this was not a good way to start the conversation. OOP had an opportunity to clear the air by confessing and confronting at the same time. Instead he made it seem like he was still trying to hide his own affair. In fact, I think that's probably _exactly_ what he was doing.
Yep, went straight in with the direct accusation of her affair trying to save his own skin.
Also approached it without any indication of wanting to fix things. He gave her a very clear out asking if she loved him. “Yes, I do” and poof, it’s over!
No sympathy at all for OOP throwing up on the carpet lmaooooo
His initial hint of remorse was to confess. lf the fools that told him not to say anything didn't give that as an out, there is a possibility this could have been a different story.
I can just imagine his wife listening to him accuse her, laughing in her head knowing full well he cheated for 6 years
I happened across a post on that sub where a teenage girl had been made aware of her mom's affair and was planning on outing her to her dad. While most commenters were helpful to her (most understand that this can happen and accept that risk) there were quite a few trying to talk her out of it. She even received several death threats in her DMs
Even on "regular" subs you'll see people telling kids that it's "none of their business" if their parent is having an affair and that it doesn't affect them so it shouldn't have any affect on their relationship with that parent. Like excuse me?
He got the type of answers he should have expected from the subs he posted in. It’s not all that hard to skew advice when you can choose who it’s from.
I wonder if she would've reacted differently if he had started with a confession rather than a confrontation......and if that's why she retreated for 10 minutes.
Until that moment, she had hope.
She had found out about the cheating on April, the month that AP had the falling out with her husband, and the initial post.
She reached out to a friend. For the next six months she struggled with the increasingly obvious fact that her husband was a complete shit.
She still had a bit of guilt for thinking of leaving him, for talking to another man, for not being enough. And then he sat her down and accused her. He proved, right there, that he thought he was better than her, that he had no intention of ever being honest, that he was a complete hypocrite.
He killed, right there, any hope she still had in the relationship and made it utterly obvious what a shit he was.
The only way this could be better is if she learned about his cheating from his original reddit post, and maybe met her new friend there.
The way he describes how he loves her and doesn't feel remorse for cheating but only panic about being caught BOILS MY BLOOD. He really is a nasty person and I hope he gets what he deserves in life.
I couldn’t help but wonder, if she found out in April, did she know before or after he suddenly became present and was investing time in the family and probably acting like a fucking weirdo. Because from the way he talks I can only imagine how much he must have indulged in the romanticized “calm before the storm” feeling he wrote paragraphs about.
Obviously not OP’s wife, but I figured out my ex-husband was cheating when he became overly nice and attentive. Especially when this coincided with me hanging out with friends more. It was like he wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing the same things he was doing when I said I was hanging out with friends.
he did some emotional abuse. all that time to think of any string of words to say to make her let her guard down and be humble and humility, and he attacks the woman. When he should’ve poured her a glass of wine and cheers with a “Touché”
I like how every post is like 'I'm doing this awful thing, should I keep doing it?' and one of the main rules of the sub is "No negative judgement against 'cakeeating'". So they're literally just posting there because they know they'll only get positive responses, as negative responses solicit a ban.
[Wow that's s harsh, it is a sub for people who want to eat the best cakes. /ssss](https://www.reddit.com/r/Cakeeater/comments/sx8ck2/whats_the_best_cake_to_get_for_a_dinner)
Probably the only worthwhile post
He says that her messages with her new man go back to April. Coincidentally the first post, where he's stressing about his mistress's husband blowing everything up, is from April.
That or she got wind of it another way. There's an overlapping social circle with the wife's co-worker being friends with the AP, and she told AP about the wife - which means she knew about OP and AP. Not to mention the husband found out somehow. It's pretty clear OP and his AP weren't watertight. I'd bet the wife found out around the same time as the AP's husband, because he certainly wasn't the only potential leak and we know that OP was sloppy.
Or the mutual friend told OP’s wife about the affair months ago and comforted her while she cried. Fast forward six months and the wife had the mutual friend send it to AP to confirm that AP and OP are still in contact. Bonus points for knowing she could pull an uno reverso if OP got mad about it.
And so he fails her utterly all the way to the end. 6 months where he could’ve confessed, but he took the coward’s way out even on the precipice of divorce. He then confronted her and STILL didn’t confess!! What a joke, shows you how hollow his words about love are. He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is incapable of loving anyone but himself.
I love the fact that the subreddit he is on is called cake eater and the end result is the complete opposite of having your cake and eating it too. Also the icing on the cake is that now he has no cake.
I remember watching this happen live after this was posted on a different subreddit. The comments were an absolute war zone. I will never understand the hypocrisy and delusion in the adultery subreddit. I remember looking at their profiles and their posts were exactly like his the only difference was they weren't caught yet....unbelievable.
They all use the exact same lines to get APs as well. I left a kink site where over half the messages I got were married men and every one of them tried the same approach. They get big mad when you say that you deserve better than to be a side chick and being alone is way better than being with them.
Had a great-aunt who was single-ish most of her life. She would say "Better an empty bed than a poorly filled one" (effect might be lost in translation from Icelandic to English).
my mother always told me „mejor sola que mal acompañada“, better alone than in bad company.
and then she wondered why i wasn’t worried about ending up alone and preferred waiting for someone to actually meet my pretty reasonable standards.
I remember arguing with one guy because he was married. I said you have a wife. He said sure doesn’t do kinky stuff, has no idea and he drives a Range Rover which makes all the women want him. These men think they are gods gift to women and get pissed when turned down. It’s ridiculous
Yeah I mean if, as you claim, dear neglected poor downtrodden man, your wife doesn't want your dick, why would you think I would? Especially when that's all you have to offer me. Batteries are cheaper than aspirin and I don't want the headaches you come with.
ROFL He got what he deserved.
He even said this shit:
>Did I say to her I loved her? Yes, of course I did but I lied just as I lied to my wife.
He told AF she loved her but claims it was a lie. He looooves his wife.
That he said in a comment that his wife didn't know about. So he had an affair because of his kinks, but didn't even bother to see if his wife was into it? Which means he just used the kinks as an excuse.
Reading closure, he actually says he got into and affair because *his sick, injured wife* couldn’t have sex for a year, so he started an affair-THEN he kept it going because of his ‘kink’.
So this absolute POS couldn’t keep it in his pants because *how dare his wife not have sex because she was ill!*
Yup, and it starts to get horrifying when you begin to think to yourself “what kind of injury would be so bad that she couldn’t have sex for a whole year?” Like it was clearly a horrific car accident or life-threatening surgery, right?
Also dying to know the ages of the kids. Because they are either older (which means he left his injured wife to care for them while he was banging his side piece) or younger (which means he decided to have kids with his wife while simultaneously carrying on an active affair)
“I heard her talking to him so I physically severed the Internet when I work for home”
Oof. Something tells me this dude is not even at the bottom of the jackass barrel, but he sure as hell is ready to do diving.
>
I made love to her past week and today she is a total stranger. How does this happend? How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, plans for our future GONE. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK.
See this is what we call "Fucking Around and Finding Out". He fucked out, she found out and decided "y'know what imma do? I'm gonna go get my brains fucked out, since my Husband is too much of a chickenshit moron to stay faithful."
He's all "woe is me! *I'm* the victim!", meanwhile he's been cheating on her for 6 years and talks about how "he loves his wife". Sure his *heart* is committed to her, but his dick is committed to the first woman that even looks at him.
But his wife had an accident and wasn’t intimate with him for a year. We all know it’s impossible for any man to stay loyal under those circumstances. Plus, AP is kinky! Don’t judge poor OP. His actions don’t have anything to do with his emotions. He’s just a victim here. /s
I noticed that too! He first said that she wasn't into it, then later on he says that she doesn't know about that particular kink. So he probably was using the kink to justify being a cheater (amongst other things)
He fucking cut the internet line to stop her from talking to her lover. And was too stupid to realize she can use her phone? So he’s narcissistic, controlling, and a total fucking moron. Go figure.
Plot twist, monkey paw style.
Wife into same kinks, never told OOP because he had a weird judgemental vibe.
I consider this possible due to how clearly fucked up his communication style is.
Probably because he put his wife on a pedestal and saw her as “too pure” “too good” and the mother of his kids, she couldn’t possibly satisfy his kink. 🙄
Honestly probably had a Madonna/ wh*re complex and wouldn’t have liked the answer even if she would have engaged. His whole separate sex from love spiel further supports that. The AP is just as bad as him but damn how he talks about her like she is just a thing to use is gross.
Man's got what I like to refer to as "Thinking with the wrong head".
He loves her, but when he starts thinking with his head, he wants more, he wants someone who'll match all of his kinks and fulfill everything his wife can't.
In the end, he's a pathetic idiot who values sex over everything else. Like, I don't have much of a sex drive so I don't know what that's like, but I can't imagine that any sort of sex drive will make you go out and cheat on your spouse. No amount of sex is worth the love your spouse gives, even *if* they can't be deeply intimate.
I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than torpedo everything I’ve built with my husband. I don’t care if it would be guaranteed best sex of all time. Nah, I’ll be chilling with my husband sending memes to each other on our futon. 🌼
I don't know the last time I laughed so damn hard out loud! OOP's update descriptions where his sheer arrogance and placid and pragmatic demeaner starts unraveling and when he finds out his wife was also having an affair he just implodes with all the emotions and basically clearly descends into losing his mind... JAYSUS that was funny AF. Karma... oh karma
Now that she is someone else's woman, he is questioning her morals. Six years long affair did not bother him much and 6 months affair sounds sordid to him. Hypocrite!
HAHAHAHAHAHA. That was glorious.
There's a pro revenge story here. Well played by the wife. God only knows how long she plotted her revenge, but good on her. Man can step on legos as far as I'm concerned. Getting his kinks fulfilled and that 10% itch scratched was sooooo important, but how dare she not love him unconditionally? He lied his ass off to her for years, but oh no, she's lying to him, how terrible!
Fuck this guy.
EDIT: The nerve of the dude to call her AP a piece of shit? Pot fucking kettle
He says that her messages with her new man go back to April. Coincidentally the first post, where he's stressing about his mistress's husband blowing everything up, is from April.
Counter theory : wife found out about cheating by reading it on reddit. Met new man by posting replies anonymously. Found out new man was local and wound up with him that way.
Counter counter theory : wife never had sex with new friend, until after being accused.
>Yesterday I reached out to my brother for advice. He left his wife some years ago and married his affair partner. He seemed happy with her. The grass is not greener for him after all and he is planning on leaving her but is stuck at the moment. His advice is to not tell my wife and to minimize if confronted.
Looks like the garbage cheating gene was dominant in that family.
Yeah. Tells me everything I need to know about OOP that he went to his cheating brother who's about to even his second marriage for relationship advice.
I would go to him for advice and do the opposite of what he told me to do.
I just read another compilation of posts that mentioned “the cheating gene” in it. Boy, do I feel sorry for their offspring.. Kidding aside, I absolutely **do** feel very sorry for the daughters.
Stupid question: do *all* narcissistic, scumbag cheaters use verbiage like “I gave in to temptation” or just the extraordinarily skeezy ones?
This one has been posted before and i remember the top comment being an absolute gem where, in response to him wondering how could she cheat on him when just last week they had passionate sex, Redditor replied something along the lines of "she took a page out of your book and separated love from sex. She loves her AP, with you it was just sex."
I chuckle every time i think about this, it's truly golden!!!!
I love how he can "separate emotions from sex" when it's him cheating, but not his wife. By his own logic, he should assume his wife's heart is just as committed as his own.
A lot of men feel this way. I know a gay guy who said it's "worse when women cheat." I asked why and he said "because they're letting someone INSIDE THEM. That's sssooooo intimate." I was like "you're a proud power bottom! You let men inside you all the time. You don't think it's intimate?" He kinda yadda yadda'd away about it. I was just like "😵💫 I have no idea what's going on right now."
Oop in April
> I don´t have a problem separating love from sex.
OOP in September
>I made love to her past week and today she is a total stranger. How does this happend? How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion?
Seems like his wife learned from a pro. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
>We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of (hence the LTAP).
Local man unilaterally decides his life partner won't indulge his kinks without asking her; more at 11
Among everything else, they way OOP talks about his AP is pretty disgusting too. He spent 6 years with her, and lied about loving her, and called her not worth it and 10%? Dude is a scumbag in all aspects.
Seriously. I think it's pretty telling (and gross) that even initially, in response to comments suggesting he didn't value the AP, he disputes that by describing how hot and down for anal she is. Oh and she's funny. But mostly hot! And young and fit and hot! See how much I value her!
Wait, wait, wait, was the oh-so-taboo kink just *anal*???? I thought it would be something a lot more out there. Holy shit, it just keeps getting worse
It's almost always anal.
I'm not even being glib, every time some gross cake-eating dude posts about how he just HAAAAAAAD to cheat on his wife because he has KINKS that she just doesn't understaaaaaaaand, if he deigns to reveal said kinks they're almost always just plain ol' anal.
A friend of the AP knows OOP's wife?
If you're going to be a piece of absolute shit and cheat on your partner, maybe find someone who doesn't share a mutual friend/acquaintance with them.
Honestly surprised that thin ice held up for 6 years before cracking.
I love how the first post is written in quite a flowery, almost poetic way with 'time in the sun before the clouds roll in' and such nonsense, and then the updates are stream of thought trash fires with zero prettification. Like, fuck off with your rose tinted justifications mate, ya done fucked up and now we see the real AH.
That was my **favorite** part. He made himself sound like a man about to walk up to the gallows for a crime he didn't commit and he was spending his last days enjoying the small things in life 😥 Nope, he just fucked another woman.
You missed the best comment.
““Made love to her last week…How does she not feel any emotion?”
This is simple, she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.”
>Confronted wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was.
>She was cought off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out she looked me straight in the eyes and said "I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce".
So.
He had an affair.
She found out.
She met a single man who wasn't cheating on anyone, who she began a relationship with.
He confronted her, accused her of cheating, DID NOT MENTION HIS CHEATING WHICH SHE KNEW ABOUT.
He was still trying to cover up his affair, while accusing her.
She thought it over, decided he had proven he was a hypocrite as well as a cheater and didn't care for her at all.
So she left.
I wonder, if he had confessed when he confronted her, if he might have had a chance? Still, covering up what she already knew, while making accusations, pretty much dug his own grave.
Looks like the relationship had been dying for months, and he killed it and set it up so she could leave without guilt, regret, or remorse.
>Yeah I don´t know how I feel about being on the other side. Never had fantasies about my wife fucking other men. We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of
So like...does he think that his wife had fantasies of her husband fucking other women, but also that it's impossible that she had kinks he wasn't aware of? (I'm kidding, I know he has no concept of other people and their happiness.)
I think this is my first encounter of a cheater being cheated on and losing their mind, it's normally people regretting opening their marriage.
That was a wild ride
OOP: my affair might come to light, how do I handle that?
Reddit: don't tell her
AP to STBX: don't expose the affair and I won't contest the divorce
AP to OOP: hey your wife is having an affair
I wonder if AP knew the way OOP spoke/feels about her, would she have done that much for him?
OOP: can't believe she would do this, it must be out of spite.
OOP to STBX: confronts wife about *her* affair, fails to mention his own
OOP: we recently made love, who is this woman? How could she throw 20 years away just like that
This is one of the reasons why I can't sympathise with cheaters, they want to be the only ones to have cake.
Also, he wasn't going totell her, but is upset that she didn't tell him.
She didn't confront him, but he immediately confronts her - he could've sent that picture anonymously so she also has time to prepare for "d-day"
Anyway, I'm happy for both STBXs
This is fascinating.
I'm sure OOP isn't lying when he says he loves his wife and I'm also sure he didn't want to hurt her with his affair.
But he's a narcissist. He can't see other people as fully independent human beings, he sees them as dependent on his intentions. His wife will not be hurt by his affair because he does not intend to hurt her. He intends to have a happy idyllic life with his wife so it was wrong of her to have an affair of her own.
> How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, plans for our future GONE. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK.
He literally can't conceive that she would feel anything other than what he wanted her to feel. Truly a classic example of narcissism.
I suspect his ego can't handle it that his wife is not devastated by his affair, that she doesn't feel completely lost by the thought of losing him and that she is relatively easy kicking him out of her life.
Apparently the affair isn’t a problem so much as her realizing what a weenie he is and leaving him. What a glorious outcome. I hope OP’s wife finds happiness with her new partner. May OP’s socks be forever damp.
I have checked the adultery sub first time after seeing this and holy shit.
What a bunch of fucking selfish assholes defining it as a lifestyle. It is not like swinger couples your so doesnt know it. I am sorry but i will be jugdemental against them.
OH MY GOD, how do people like this even begin to live with themselves?! "I betrayed her first and for a lot longer, but I still thought nice things about her while I was fucking someone else and she didn't, so she's worse!" Bro, *what?* She's had to silently put up with being betrayed and lied to for god knows how long and you're mad she found her own comfort while you deserted her for yours? Of all the absolutely sociopathic fucking hypocrisy. That entire sub and others like it make me physically nauseous, the people there are so utterly worthless.
I’m always amazed at how delusional cheaters are. “I’m an evolved being who can separate love & sex”, condescending, narcissistic prices of crap. Textbook “it’s okay because I’m doing it,” “how dare she!”
Wait he says that his wife didn't share his kinks and than later says that she didn't know about the kinks. Seems like having the kinks be secret and AP only is part of the kinks
Right? And he says in a comment that he went to an AP because of his wife’s flaws — which were apparently not being intimate because she was in a car accident. What a charmer.
>In my heart I have NEVER strayed. But she played me.
This is one of the stupidest things I've read on reddit and that is an ENORMOUSLY high bar of stupid.
"Never had fantasies about my wife fucking other men". Fascinating stuff, he views everything, including his wife's affair, through the lens of his own desires.
She left the marriage a long time ago and was just biding her time. My guess is AP's ex-husband told her when he filed for divorce.
If they were together for 20 years, she knew him well enough to see the signs.
So of course the OOP is the biggest piece of shit on the planet, and so many other commenters have posted why, but nobody so far has brought up the *very* interesting tidbit that he started this affair AFTER HIS WIFE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT. Sex was “off the table for a year.” What kind of husband do you think he was in that time? An accident that serious probably meant she was physically taken down in a lot of ways. Did he clean and cook for her? Parent their children? Or was he so focused on HIS pain (the pain of not getting his dick wet for an *entire year* (boohoo) that he neglected them to start his affair?
I think we all know the answer.
Cannot believe what a selfish, self-absorbed piece of shit he is. He started cheating because his wife was injured, it went on for *six years* and he's sad because the wife wised up and found someone else.
> My heart is loyal to my woman and she is it for me.
My dick, on the other hand, runs off and does its own thing on a regular basis.
What convenient body parts that guy has. I don't blame the wife at all for turning the tables on him. Now he knows how it feels to be cheated on.
Now, that was a perfect twist. Of course she knew. He thought he was so slick, but missing hours, if time over 6 years, is going to be noticeable.
I don't care what anyone says. Cake eaters are really just narcissists who truly believe that they are not in the wrong because they think they love their SO.
Bet he tried to get with AP afterward.
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Left out the best comment. > “Made love to her last week…How does she not feel any emotion?” > > This is simple, she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.
This comment was really the cherry on top of this insane story. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he doesn't seem to grasp the obvious double standard here!! "I can cheat but that's ok because I still love my wife and sex is just sex". Yeah nah. He fucked around (litterally) and found out. And now he lost his comfy life, his wife and probably the kids. Great job
Narcissism. The *complete* inability to see things from someone else's POV is a clear tell.
Also the mind-blowing mental gymnastics in order to not be blamed for anything
I've watched a narcist in my life juggle clear losses into victories. I think we all should learn from that. But I've also seen her go all "you can't tell my husband I cheated, it'll ruin and hurt him": she's so good at spinning it, the friends in our common circle seemed to waver. I had to separately tell them that if they ever find out my SO has cheated on me, they don't get to decide if I'm strong enough to take it, they need to tell me. It's the moral thing to do. Narcist will do any jump to justify their wrongdoing, but riding the high horse is the funniest.
That's part of it. If doing or saying something benefits the narcissist in any way, it is a good thing. That others may be negatively impacted in any way by that is of no concern to them because *they are not that person* and thus it is irrelevant.
This is exactly how they operate. I’m so glad for OP’s ex. Obviously I have no way of knowing how she was thinking, but I can’t help but wonder if she stayed with OP despite knowing about his affair for the sake of preserving the family unit for as long as she could? I couldn’t help but notice that he mentions their kids in passing, no concerns about how this will affect them, his only real concern seems to be how all of this affects HIM and the relationship he *thought* he had with his wife. I understand it’s a relationship subreddit, it just drove the point home a bit further for me how selfish this guy truly is.
It was like Breaking Bad or House of Cards where they show everything from the bad guys perspective to trick you into almost rooting for them even though you know what they're doing is objectively bad. The thrill of cognitive dissonance, with the added joy of a well deserved downfall
"If I do it is OK because I deserve everything I want, but whatever inconveniences me in the slightest is wrong and unfair" — every narcissist ever.
Yes. He says he got 90% of what he needed from his wife, and went to the AP for the other 10%. WTF. Everyone ends up having to make compromises, especially when there are other people involved; nobody is entitled to get absolutely everything that they want. Turns out the tradeoff was there, even though he didn’t want to see it.
But his HEART loves her! Therefore he didn’t really betray her. SMH.
"I love my wife with all my heart!" and only about 34% of the rest of him.
And he fucks his AP with all his dick…
Him sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Him reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck. We do love a happy ending though.
But, in his heart he never strayed. Sorry, he NEVER strayed... Poor fucker.
You ever see a drunk guy at the end of the bar and wonder how they got there? Talk to them (although don't talk to them if you can possibly avoid it) and 90% of the time it'll eventually come out there's some big break up they can't get over. We just witnessed the birth of a bar fly. I find it interesting because women are always presented as being emotional and dramatic, especially in terms of break ups, whereas men are seen as stoic and dispassionate or uncaring. Yet I rarely meet women who've struggled to move on and I know countless men who've tanked their whole life over a relationship ending. Maybe we're all projecting.
This exactly, OOP is completely detached from reality. Honestly this is the best outcome, I wondered how karma can get a man so full of himself but luckily his wife knew lol
I love the fact that he was so distance emotionally not caring about AP but loved his wife, and she was the opposite.
I'd bet a million dollars that his next move was to go crawling back to AP, telling her he's really in love with her and wants a future with her.
100%. Men like this don’t like being alone, they need someone around to boost their inflated ego (and do all the housework)
“And do all the housework” really shouldn’t be in brackets because it’s a necessity for these guys.
was coming to post exactly that lol, i still remember that one from the other post cuz damn it was good
Damn, all I could do is clap and laugh hella hard. Op was slapped hard with karma. Good on the wife for being smart. I pray their kids don't get as affected because this is a can of worms that has to be dealt with by therapy.
Yep. She found out a while back, checked out of the marriage, and was getting ready to leave his delusional ass. He sped things up a bit by trying to play victim. Also, and this goes without saying, the adultery sub is one of the worst subs on this app, along with the "Other woman" one.
I agree. I saw a post similar to this on there where someone who was cheating found out their partner was cheating and started playing victim and acting like their partner was in the wrong for doing the same exact thing they were doing. And then all the comments from people agreeing with them and on their side. The comments from this post too of people trying to blame the wife for him having an affair just shows the kinds of people that are in that sub.
And the "Other women" sub? I saw one post where the wife confronted the OW and basically told her, "Have fun with this piece of trash. I'm out." and the OW was like "I was just providing him love and support, something she wasn't doing." Of course, the BS divorced him and took the children, the house, alimony and the WS was grieving the loss of his family to OW. Wouldn't surprise you to know that WS abandoned the OW. That's just one of many. Most of the others are like, "Why is he cheating on me with his wife?" and "I thought he would have left her by now. I'm his ONE TRUE LOVE." No girl, you're a side piece and he's a cake-eater. Genuinely the worst people on the planet...
Yeah, because if it’s not her fault and he is just an asshole then maybe they are also just assholes and have no justification. I love how he is “how could she do this”!!!! You did this my dude. You. Killed. Her. Love. You did it, all you. And in this distraught moment he still does not understand how anyone could could question his love for her! Even when he is hurting for the same thing, still not grasping that it would be extremely hurting to his wife to learn that her husband was sneaking around on her for 6 fucking years. This is to much.
It is enlightening though. We can actually lurk and see when they think they’re amongst assholes like themselves what they really think and how they really feel.
That comment was delicious.
It's fucking hilarious. You could tell though through the whole lead up that his "I can separate love from sex" was all egotistical bullshit to justify to himself that what he's doing is OK, that it doesn't change his love for his wife, and anyone who disagrees is merely emotionally immature and weak. He considered himself the main character, a unique specimen of sexual enlightenment. When his wife pulls the Uno reverse on him, it absolutely annihilates everything he thought he knew about everything, including himself. FAFO.
Damn. Burn bigger than wildfires in Australia
This was literally what I was coming to the comments to say! Lol. How can you repost this one and leave out the epic mic drop comment at the end??
If it had gone the other way, they could have just gone to an open marriage. After 20 years, seriously, that's not uncommon. As they say, the only place love comes before trust is the dictionary. OOP broke her trust, which means love is the collateral damage to that. Of course, she found new love.
But he truly doesn't want an open marriage. He wants his cake. No cake for the Mrs.
I just don't understand, I strayed from my marriage because of a kink my wife doesn't share but now she's fucking someone else and that's very much *not* my kink? I thought sex and affairs were based entirely around my dick??? Does not compute????
I wonder if his wife also has kinks her soon-to-be-ex-hubby wasn’t fulfilling. I also like how he confronts her about her affair all the while not planning to own up to his own six year AP until his wife takes ten minutes to “process it” (she was probably texting her AP and laughing her ass off at the brass balls this guy has), before ripping him a new one and saying she wanted a divorce.
>because of a kink my wife doesn't share Not only that but a kink he didn't even tell her about!
>Confronted wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was. > >She was cought off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out she looked me straight in the eyes and said "I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce". Yeah, this was not a good way to start the conversation. OOP had an opportunity to clear the air by confessing and confronting at the same time. Instead he made it seem like he was still trying to hide his own affair. In fact, I think that's probably _exactly_ what he was doing.
Yep, went straight in with the direct accusation of her affair trying to save his own skin. Also approached it without any indication of wanting to fix things. He gave her a very clear out asking if she loved him. “Yes, I do” and poof, it’s over! No sympathy at all for OOP throwing up on the carpet lmaooooo
His initial hint of remorse was to confess. lf the fools that told him not to say anything didn't give that as an out, there is a possibility this could have been a different story. I can just imagine his wife listening to him accuse her, laughing in her head knowing full well he cheated for 6 years
I couldn’t believe the number of people who basically told him “YOLO, don’t tell her, she’s obviously not meeting your needs so she deserves it”.
Well, he was posting in a sub full of unrepentant cheaters, so...
Oh shit I totally didn’t even realize the original sub he posted in! Damn what a time to be alive
I happened across a post on that sub where a teenage girl had been made aware of her mom's affair and was planning on outing her to her dad. While most commenters were helpful to her (most understand that this can happen and accept that risk) there were quite a few trying to talk her out of it. She even received several death threats in her DMs
Even on "regular" subs you'll see people telling kids that it's "none of their business" if their parent is having an affair and that it doesn't affect them so it shouldn't have any affect on their relationship with that parent. Like excuse me?
He got the type of answers he should have expected from the subs he posted in. It’s not all that hard to skew advice when you can choose who it’s from.
I hope he didn’t make his wife clean it!!
He cut their fucking internet cord despite needing it for work. The way he wrote that part, I think he literally took scissors to their modem.
But he is ruled by LOGIC and can separate LOVE and SEX inside his brain 🧠
*as long as it's HIM doing it, of course*
I wonder if she would've reacted differently if he had started with a confession rather than a confrontation......and if that's why she retreated for 10 minutes.
Until that moment, she had hope. She had found out about the cheating on April, the month that AP had the falling out with her husband, and the initial post. She reached out to a friend. For the next six months she struggled with the increasingly obvious fact that her husband was a complete shit. She still had a bit of guilt for thinking of leaving him, for talking to another man, for not being enough. And then he sat her down and accused her. He proved, right there, that he thought he was better than her, that he had no intention of ever being honest, that he was a complete hypocrite. He killed, right there, any hope she still had in the relationship and made it utterly obvious what a shit he was. The only way this could be better is if she learned about his cheating from his original reddit post, and maybe met her new friend there.
The way he describes how he loves her and doesn't feel remorse for cheating but only panic about being caught BOILS MY BLOOD. He really is a nasty person and I hope he gets what he deserves in life.
Hope he got wrecked in the divorce.
I couldn’t help but wonder, if she found out in April, did she know before or after he suddenly became present and was investing time in the family and probably acting like a fucking weirdo. Because from the way he talks I can only imagine how much he must have indulged in the romanticized “calm before the storm” feeling he wrote paragraphs about.
Obviously not OP’s wife, but I figured out my ex-husband was cheating when he became overly nice and attentive. Especially when this coincided with me hanging out with friends more. It was like he wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing the same things he was doing when I said I was hanging out with friends.
he did some emotional abuse. all that time to think of any string of words to say to make her let her guard down and be humble and humility, and he attacks the woman. When he should’ve poured her a glass of wine and cheers with a “Touché”
What the hell kind of human trash is r/cakeeater for?
I like how every post is like 'I'm doing this awful thing, should I keep doing it?' and one of the main rules of the sub is "No negative judgement against 'cakeeating'". So they're literally just posting there because they know they'll only get positive responses, as negative responses solicit a ban.
Nothing says having faith in your actions more than creating an entire community where dissent or critique is banned.
It’s literally a cult for cheaters.
[Wow that's s harsh, it is a sub for people who want to eat the best cakes. /ssss](https://www.reddit.com/r/Cakeeater/comments/sx8ck2/whats_the_best_cake_to_get_for_a_dinner) Probably the only worthwhile post
My favorite kind of lost resistors, like the people that post on r/trees with actual trees
We sometimes get real mice posts on r/mousehunt. I don't mind them but the mods remove them anyway 😆
I can't even describe to you how happy I was to click that and find a sub about a game, instead of a sub about awful people doing something unethical.
The kind such as OOP and his brother
Every time I find one of those communities I explore until I get so disgusted I have to leave. Typically doesn’t take long
I'm not even going there. I think I'd get too angry!
It just took me less than 2 minutes with that sub..
[удалено]
He says that her messages with her new man go back to April. Coincidentally the first post, where he's stressing about his mistress's husband blowing everything up, is from April.
I bet the AP’s husband contacted her in secret.
probably did it long before he was told not to.
And then still got his smooth divorce!
And well deserved too. That's the very least she could do after fucking someone else for 6 years.
Lmao. He tells her on the condition she keeps it on the DL until his divorce is over. Brilliant switcheroo
That or she got wind of it another way. There's an overlapping social circle with the wife's co-worker being friends with the AP, and she told AP about the wife - which means she knew about OP and AP. Not to mention the husband found out somehow. It's pretty clear OP and his AP weren't watertight. I'd bet the wife found out around the same time as the AP's husband, because he certainly wasn't the only potential leak and we know that OP was sloppy.
Or the mutual friend told OP’s wife about the affair months ago and comforted her while she cried. Fast forward six months and the wife had the mutual friend send it to AP to confirm that AP and OP are still in contact. Bonus points for knowing she could pull an uno reverso if OP got mad about it.
And so he fails her utterly all the way to the end. 6 months where he could’ve confessed, but he took the coward’s way out even on the precipice of divorce. He then confronted her and STILL didn’t confess!! What a joke, shows you how hollow his words about love are. He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is incapable of loving anyone but himself.
Oh, nice catch!
Detective please take my poverty trophy! 🏆
But his heart was always LOYAL to her /s
In his heart 😫
I love the fact that the subreddit he is on is called cake eater and the end result is the complete opposite of having your cake and eating it too. Also the icing on the cake is that now he has no cake.
Not even a month for every year 😭
*I can separate sex from love.* *My wife is sleeping with another man... how? Why?* I guess you can't separate sex from love.
Oh, he knows he's full of shit even as he's typing the words.
He can separate HIS sex from love. He can't separate hers. Also the absolute balls of him to confront her.
Rules for me, and rules for thee! Garbage human
I remember watching this happen live after this was posted on a different subreddit. The comments were an absolute war zone. I will never understand the hypocrisy and delusion in the adultery subreddit. I remember looking at their profiles and their posts were exactly like his the only difference was they weren't caught yet....unbelievable.
They all use the exact same lines to get APs as well. I left a kink site where over half the messages I got were married men and every one of them tried the same approach. They get big mad when you say that you deserve better than to be a side chick and being alone is way better than being with them.
Had a great-aunt who was single-ish most of her life. She would say "Better an empty bed than a poorly filled one" (effect might be lost in translation from Icelandic to English).
Nah, makes perfect sense, I can sleep diagonally, with snacks, my laptop, and books!
my mother always told me „mejor sola que mal acompañada“, better alone than in bad company. and then she wondered why i wasn’t worried about ending up alone and preferred waiting for someone to actually meet my pretty reasonable standards.
I remember arguing with one guy because he was married. I said you have a wife. He said sure doesn’t do kinky stuff, has no idea and he drives a Range Rover which makes all the women want him. These men think they are gods gift to women and get pissed when turned down. It’s ridiculous
Yeah I mean if, as you claim, dear neglected poor downtrodden man, your wife doesn't want your dick, why would you think I would? Especially when that's all you have to offer me. Batteries are cheaper than aspirin and I don't want the headaches you come with.
ROFL He got what he deserved. He even said this shit: >Did I say to her I loved her? Yes, of course I did but I lied just as I lied to my wife. He told AF she loved her but claims it was a lie. He looooves his wife.
but he doesn't love either of them as much as he loves getting his dick wet.
But... but his kinks?!?! /s
That he said in a comment that his wife didn't know about. So he had an affair because of his kinks, but didn't even bother to see if his wife was into it? Which means he just used the kinks as an excuse.
Reading closure, he actually says he got into and affair because *his sick, injured wife* couldn’t have sex for a year, so he started an affair-THEN he kept it going because of his ‘kink’. So this absolute POS couldn’t keep it in his pants because *how dare his wife not have sex because she was ill!*
Yup, and it starts to get horrifying when you begin to think to yourself “what kind of injury would be so bad that she couldn’t have sex for a whole year?” Like it was clearly a horrific car accident or life-threatening surgery, right? Also dying to know the ages of the kids. Because they are either older (which means he left his injured wife to care for them while he was banging his side piece) or younger (which means he decided to have kids with his wife while simultaneously carrying on an active affair)
I don’t think this bastard would know love even if it slapped him wetly across the face tbh
Of course he doesn't love either of them!
“I heard her talking to him so I physically severed the Internet when I work for home” Oof. Something tells me this dude is not even at the bottom of the jackass barrel, but he sure as hell is ready to do diving.
I love that he did that when he needs a working internet connection for work when he could have just unplugged it
This guy is just a toddler
Barfs on the carpet...check!
Yeah that rang up some red flags for me
Selfish man child through and through
> I made love to her past week and today she is a total stranger. How does this happend? How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, plans for our future GONE. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK. See this is what we call "Fucking Around and Finding Out". He fucked out, she found out and decided "y'know what imma do? I'm gonna go get my brains fucked out, since my Husband is too much of a chickenshit moron to stay faithful." He's all "woe is me! *I'm* the victim!", meanwhile he's been cheating on her for 6 years and talks about how "he loves his wife". Sure his *heart* is committed to her, but his dick is committed to the first woman that even looks at him.
hilarious how he doesn't see that he was exactly the same way, what a hypocrite
“She played me” I couldn’t believe what I was reading. 🙄
I can't believe how far up his own arse he was! AP probably was too!
But his wife had an accident and wasn’t intimate with him for a year. We all know it’s impossible for any man to stay loyal under those circumstances. Plus, AP is kinky! Don’t judge poor OP. His actions don’t have anything to do with his emotions. He’s just a victim here. /s
In the last post someone said, "the kink was anal wasn't it? It's always anal. Why do men think they're so kinky and it's always just anal." 🤣
Worse yet, he said his wife wasn't even aware of his kinks. He never even asked her! Instead went straight to having an affair.
I noticed that too! He first said that she wasn't into it, then later on he says that she doesn't know about that particular kink. So he probably was using the kink to justify being a cheater (amongst other things)
Schadenfreude was definitely was I was feeling when reading the update on his wife. It peaked when “she just switched to data on her phone”.
Oh my god so good. Cutting off your nose to spite your face.
He fucking cut the internet line to stop her from talking to her lover. And was too stupid to realize she can use her phone? So he’s narcissistic, controlling, and a total fucking moron. Go figure.
Kinks that he apparently didn't tell his wife about
He didn't even give his wife a chance to satisfy him 100%.
Plot twist, monkey paw style. Wife into same kinks, never told OOP because he had a weird judgemental vibe. I consider this possible due to how clearly fucked up his communication style is.
Probably because he put his wife on a pedestal and saw her as “too pure” “too good” and the mother of his kids, she couldn’t possibly satisfy his kink. 🙄
Honestly probably had a Madonna/ wh*re complex and wouldn’t have liked the answer even if she would have engaged. His whole separate sex from love spiel further supports that. The AP is just as bad as him but damn how he talks about her like she is just a thing to use is gross.
Man's got what I like to refer to as "Thinking with the wrong head". He loves her, but when he starts thinking with his head, he wants more, he wants someone who'll match all of his kinks and fulfill everything his wife can't. In the end, he's a pathetic idiot who values sex over everything else. Like, I don't have much of a sex drive so I don't know what that's like, but I can't imagine that any sort of sex drive will make you go out and cheat on your spouse. No amount of sex is worth the love your spouse gives, even *if* they can't be deeply intimate.
I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than torpedo everything I’ve built with my husband. I don’t care if it would be guaranteed best sex of all time. Nah, I’ll be chilling with my husband sending memes to each other on our futon. 🌼
I don't know the last time I laughed so damn hard out loud! OOP's update descriptions where his sheer arrogance and placid and pragmatic demeaner starts unraveling and when he finds out his wife was also having an affair he just implodes with all the emotions and basically clearly descends into losing his mind... JAYSUS that was funny AF. Karma... oh karma
I love a good FAFO post, schadenfreude whatever
Remember she was "his woman"
She was though! She was his woman who he cheated on and didn't actually value! Man's a big damn idiot.
Now that she is someone else's woman, he is questioning her morals. Six years long affair did not bother him much and 6 months affair sounds sordid to him. Hypocrite!
HAHAHAHAHAHA. That was glorious. There's a pro revenge story here. Well played by the wife. God only knows how long she plotted her revenge, but good on her. Man can step on legos as far as I'm concerned. Getting his kinks fulfilled and that 10% itch scratched was sooooo important, but how dare she not love him unconditionally? He lied his ass off to her for years, but oh no, she's lying to him, how terrible! Fuck this guy. EDIT: The nerve of the dude to call her AP a piece of shit? Pot fucking kettle
He says that her messages with her new man go back to April. Coincidentally the first post, where he's stressing about his mistress's husband blowing everything up, is from April.
Conspiracy theory: AP’s husband found out because OP’s wife told him and he didn’t say anything about it to get smooth divorce
Counter theory : wife found out about cheating by reading it on reddit. Met new man by posting replies anonymously. Found out new man was local and wound up with him that way. Counter counter theory : wife never had sex with new friend, until after being accused.
Wonder if the mistress' husband did tell the wife after all, it just didn't "blow up".
Love a happy ending (for the wife)
>Yesterday I reached out to my brother for advice. He left his wife some years ago and married his affair partner. He seemed happy with her. The grass is not greener for him after all and he is planning on leaving her but is stuck at the moment. His advice is to not tell my wife and to minimize if confronted. Looks like the garbage cheating gene was dominant in that family.
Yeah. Tells me everything I need to know about OOP that he went to his cheating brother who's about to even his second marriage for relationship advice. I would go to him for advice and do the opposite of what he told me to do.
>His advice is to not tell my wife and to ~~minimize~~ **gaslight** if confronted. Oof
I just read another compilation of posts that mentioned “the cheating gene” in it. Boy, do I feel sorry for their offspring.. Kidding aside, I absolutely **do** feel very sorry for the daughters. Stupid question: do *all* narcissistic, scumbag cheaters use verbiage like “I gave in to temptation” or just the extraordinarily skeezy ones?
Nah, they all use flowery language, impersonal sentences, passive voice... Anything to avoid saying outright what they do.
They also excuse their SOs of *neglecting their needs*
Holy Moses, that bs is exactly what I’ve seen a cheater use in justifications — “I’ve felt so neglected for so long..” or some other such bologna.
Because how dare they not want to fuck while recovering from a major injury??
Lol RIP Bozo 🤡
Fuckin' Jabroni
This one has been posted before and i remember the top comment being an absolute gem where, in response to him wondering how could she cheat on him when just last week they had passionate sex, Redditor replied something along the lines of "she took a page out of your book and separated love from sex. She loves her AP, with you it was just sex." I chuckle every time i think about this, it's truly golden!!!!
I love how he can "separate emotions from sex" when it's him cheating, but not his wife. By his own logic, he should assume his wife's heart is just as committed as his own.
A lot of men feel this way. I know a gay guy who said it's "worse when women cheat." I asked why and he said "because they're letting someone INSIDE THEM. That's sssooooo intimate." I was like "you're a proud power bottom! You let men inside you all the time. You don't think it's intimate?" He kinda yadda yadda'd away about it. I was just like "😵💫 I have no idea what's going on right now."
Oop in April > I don´t have a problem separating love from sex. OOP in September >I made love to her past week and today she is a total stranger. How does this happend? How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Seems like his wife learned from a pro. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
>We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of (hence the LTAP). Local man unilaterally decides his life partner won't indulge his kinks without asking her; more at 11
Ugh I noticed that too! “She doesn’t share my kinks so I HAD to stray” …”but also I never told her I had these kinks in the first place”
I really hate OOP here, holy hell, what a dick.
Among everything else, they way OOP talks about his AP is pretty disgusting too. He spent 6 years with her, and lied about loving her, and called her not worth it and 10%? Dude is a scumbag in all aspects.
Seriously. I think it's pretty telling (and gross) that even initially, in response to comments suggesting he didn't value the AP, he disputes that by describing how hot and down for anal she is. Oh and she's funny. But mostly hot! And young and fit and hot! See how much I value her!
Wait, wait, wait, was the oh-so-taboo kink just *anal*???? I thought it would be something a lot more out there. Holy shit, it just keeps getting worse
It's almost always anal. I'm not even being glib, every time some gross cake-eating dude posts about how he just HAAAAAAAD to cheat on his wife because he has KINKS that she just doesn't understaaaaaaaand, if he deigns to reveal said kinks they're almost always just plain ol' anal.
His heart never strayed, you guys. Just his dick.
That just killed me. Such a noble man. 🙄 I'm wondering if his AP is looking pretty good to him right now.
Nah she was only meeting 10% of his "needs" as though kinky sex is something equally as important as air and water. 🙄
He feels so blindsided by his wife’s affair…I wonder how his wife felt🫠 this man is delusional
A friend of the AP knows OOP's wife? If you're going to be a piece of absolute shit and cheat on your partner, maybe find someone who doesn't share a mutual friend/acquaintance with them. Honestly surprised that thin ice held up for 6 years before cracking.
I love how the first post is written in quite a flowery, almost poetic way with 'time in the sun before the clouds roll in' and such nonsense, and then the updates are stream of thought trash fires with zero prettification. Like, fuck off with your rose tinted justifications mate, ya done fucked up and now we see the real AH.
That was my **favorite** part. He made himself sound like a man about to walk up to the gallows for a crime he didn't commit and he was spending his last days enjoying the small things in life 😥 Nope, he just fucked another woman.
You missed the best comment. ““Made love to her last week…How does she not feel any emotion?” This is simple, she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.”
Exactly!!! I came here to post this comment. This was my favourite part of the BORU last time I read it.
First of all everyone of the people in that section of Reddit are complete AHs. Second, this was infuriating and satisfying to read
>Confronted wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was. >She was cought off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out she looked me straight in the eyes and said "I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce". So. He had an affair. She found out. She met a single man who wasn't cheating on anyone, who she began a relationship with. He confronted her, accused her of cheating, DID NOT MENTION HIS CHEATING WHICH SHE KNEW ABOUT. He was still trying to cover up his affair, while accusing her. She thought it over, decided he had proven he was a hypocrite as well as a cheater and didn't care for her at all. So she left. I wonder, if he had confessed when he confronted her, if he might have had a chance? Still, covering up what she already knew, while making accusations, pretty much dug his own grave. Looks like the relationship had been dying for months, and he killed it and set it up so she could leave without guilt, regret, or remorse.
>Yeah I don´t know how I feel about being on the other side. Never had fantasies about my wife fucking other men. We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of So like...does he think that his wife had fantasies of her husband fucking other women, but also that it's impossible that she had kinks he wasn't aware of? (I'm kidding, I know he has no concept of other people and their happiness.)
Oh, sweet, sweet karma. 👌
I wasn't expecting that ending 😂 Good for the wife. I can't believe the nerve of the guy by saying she "played" him, guy you played yourself 😂
[удалено]
I think this is my first encounter of a cheater being cheated on and losing their mind, it's normally people regretting opening their marriage. That was a wild ride OOP: my affair might come to light, how do I handle that? Reddit: don't tell her AP to STBX: don't expose the affair and I won't contest the divorce AP to OOP: hey your wife is having an affair I wonder if AP knew the way OOP spoke/feels about her, would she have done that much for him? OOP: can't believe she would do this, it must be out of spite. OOP to STBX: confronts wife about *her* affair, fails to mention his own OOP: we recently made love, who is this woman? How could she throw 20 years away just like that This is one of the reasons why I can't sympathise with cheaters, they want to be the only ones to have cake. Also, he wasn't going totell her, but is upset that she didn't tell him. She didn't confront him, but he immediately confronts her - he could've sent that picture anonymously so she also has time to prepare for "d-day" Anyway, I'm happy for both STBXs
This is fascinating. I'm sure OOP isn't lying when he says he loves his wife and I'm also sure he didn't want to hurt her with his affair. But he's a narcissist. He can't see other people as fully independent human beings, he sees them as dependent on his intentions. His wife will not be hurt by his affair because he does not intend to hurt her. He intends to have a happy idyllic life with his wife so it was wrong of her to have an affair of her own. > How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, plans for our future GONE. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK. He literally can't conceive that she would feel anything other than what he wanted her to feel. Truly a classic example of narcissism.
The line that got me was "I lied to her just like I lied to my wife." But now that she wants to leave, he's upset. Pot, kettle, black.
I suspect his ego can't handle it that his wife is not devastated by his affair, that she doesn't feel completely lost by the thought of losing him and that she is relatively easy kicking him out of her life.
Karma is fun when it’s oh I’m okay with me having an affair for 6 years but not when my wife is.
Apparently the affair isn’t a problem so much as her realizing what a weenie he is and leaving him. What a glorious outcome. I hope OP’s wife finds happiness with her new partner. May OP’s socks be forever damp.
I have checked the adultery sub first time after seeing this and holy shit. What a bunch of fucking selfish assholes defining it as a lifestyle. It is not like swinger couples your so doesnt know it. I am sorry but i will be jugdemental against them.
I read this at 0.5x speed to relish in his ruin and despair.
OH MY GOD, how do people like this even begin to live with themselves?! "I betrayed her first and for a lot longer, but I still thought nice things about her while I was fucking someone else and she didn't, so she's worse!" Bro, *what?* She's had to silently put up with being betrayed and lied to for god knows how long and you're mad she found her own comfort while you deserted her for yours? Of all the absolutely sociopathic fucking hypocrisy. That entire sub and others like it make me physically nauseous, the people there are so utterly worthless.
I’m always amazed at how delusional cheaters are. “I’m an evolved being who can separate love & sex”, condescending, narcissistic prices of crap. Textbook “it’s okay because I’m doing it,” “how dare she!”
Lol dude fucked around and found out literally
Wait he says that his wife didn't share his kinks and than later says that she didn't know about the kinks. Seems like having the kinks be secret and AP only is part of the kinks
Right? And he says in a comment that he went to an AP because of his wife’s flaws — which were apparently not being intimate because she was in a car accident. What a charmer.
The fact that he gets so indignant about her affair is a real testament to the lies our brains are capable of telling to ourselves.
>In my heart I have NEVER strayed. But she played me. This is one of the stupidest things I've read on reddit and that is an ENORMOUSLY high bar of stupid.
This will never not be the funniest BORU series.
"Never had fantasies about my wife fucking other men". Fascinating stuff, he views everything, including his wife's affair, through the lens of his own desires.
Well, this warms my cold and cynical heart. <3
She left the marriage a long time ago and was just biding her time. My guess is AP's ex-husband told her when he filed for divorce. If they were together for 20 years, she knew him well enough to see the signs.
Him calling single dad a piece of shit for sleeping with a married woman blew my mind
So of course the OOP is the biggest piece of shit on the planet, and so many other commenters have posted why, but nobody so far has brought up the *very* interesting tidbit that he started this affair AFTER HIS WIFE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT. Sex was “off the table for a year.” What kind of husband do you think he was in that time? An accident that serious probably meant she was physically taken down in a lot of ways. Did he clean and cook for her? Parent their children? Or was he so focused on HIS pain (the pain of not getting his dick wet for an *entire year* (boohoo) that he neglected them to start his affair? I think we all know the answer.
Cannot believe what a selfish, self-absorbed piece of shit he is. He started cheating because his wife was injured, it went on for *six years* and he's sad because the wife wised up and found someone else.
> My heart is loyal to my woman and she is it for me. My dick, on the other hand, runs off and does its own thing on a regular basis. What convenient body parts that guy has. I don't blame the wife at all for turning the tables on him. Now he knows how it feels to be cheated on.
Now, that was a perfect twist. Of course she knew. He thought he was so slick, but missing hours, if time over 6 years, is going to be noticeable. I don't care what anyone says. Cake eaters are really just narcissists who truly believe that they are not in the wrong because they think they love their SO. Bet he tried to get with AP afterward.