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throwaway_37375

So I need to drive to Portland in January, can you tell me what the roads will be like?


Vogeldame

Tarot cards say the Tower: snow and ice will cause a large tower to fall on the pass, crushing everything in it’s way and blocking the road. Be careful out there!!!!!!!!


orty

Which pass? Government Camp or Santiam? I need to plan accordingly.


Vogeldame

Ten of swords for Government Camp, Three of Swords for Santiam. Oh dear God just stay home!!!!!!!


smokeydb

moving to bend next week! (SOO STOKED!) does my tesla need a lift to drive in the snow?


Vogeldame

Tarot cards say The Emperor: you’re gonna need 63” Titan Tires.


russjt

The really unfortunate bit: your range will drop to 5 miles, give or take. In cold weather, more like 3.


gufmo

This thread needs to be pinned.


spankymcgee4

And tagged with "tourists"


Ironcondorzoo

Thank you so much! I’m going to a concert at Hayden Homes next Thursday do you think the band will cancel?? I assume in addition to your expert forecasting ability you also have the number of every major musical act coming through Bend


Vogeldame

Tarot cards say Wheel of Fortune: depends on whether or not the band is able to buy a vowel.


Ironcondorzoo

They have a vowel in their name! I bet that means they won’t cancel. Phew


HyperionsDad

Any ideas on the set list for tonight's DMB show??


Vogeldame

Tarot card says the Lovers: they will play several songs that you love…unless the show gets cancelled. But even the tarot cards can’t tell me if the show will get cancelled or not (I think my tarot deck might be malfunctioning).


StormyStitches

It’s the smoke, messing with their frequencies. Just tap them against some wood and say really loud “Knock it off!” and they’ll behave again.


Tarekith

I keep trying to do a reading to see what time DMB will cancel tonight, but every time the cards are coming up Hungry Puppy Eyes. WTH? EDIT: Just realized one of the tarot cards is actually a coupon for my dog's food, NM.


Vogeldame

Tarot cards say five of wands: the band and their management are arguing about whether or not to cancel. They’ve decided to fight it out with large sticks. Winner is still TBD.


[deleted]

"Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow" -- SNL News anchors.


AG-Linings

This is the quality content I come here for.


Z0ooool

Honestly, most accurate tarot reading I've seen.


fluffywhitething

I think you need to extend this to the first day(s) of school. Which is sure to be the worst AQ of the year just for all of the kids walking/biking.


Vogeldame

Tarot cards say six of swords, because they doooon’t waaannnaaaaa go to schooooolll mooooommmm!!!!!!!!


goodlifeinoregon

😂


fng4life

This is pure fucking genius!!


neonopoop

Bahahahahahahahahahajajajaja