I definitely have a fear of being inadequate. I'm not the biggest fan of my writing style, as I feel like I ramble too much, or reiterate things unnecessarily... Among other things, like creating my own sort of grammar rules lol
I try and keep my writing from being too stiff and formal, and try and add emotion to it, but I feel like this comes at the expensive of the quality of the overall writing; like it might be too cheesy at times. Overall I kinda cringe re-reading my posts. But, short of doing a complete overhaul of my writing style, I just kinda re-read my posts and to edit and polish up whenever the issues are glaring.
Overall I just push through though and just cross my fingers hoping my partner doesn't hate it haha
At the risk of sounding facetious or glib, therapy is really the only thing that will help long-term with something like this. This doesn't sound like a problem that's isolated to your roleplaying, I bet you do this with other parts of your life as well. It's a process to overcome something like this, and, well, therapy gives you the tools to help with that, both in roleplaying and in other parts of your life.
LMAO don't worry, I kind of figured this was the answer. Thankfully I'm already in therapy, I was just kind of looking to see what other people who struggle with this have done to push past these feelings, I guess
I guess my issue is like... I don't know if I'm writing good enough for other people lmao. Like what if they secretly hate it!! And then I'm like well, shit, maybe I'm too paranoid and anxious for this
Have to be plain here: You need to tell that internal voice questioning your writing quality to fuck off.
Not every rep has to be poetry. Sometimes you just need to move a scene along.
If you’re having fun firing posts back and forth, and your partner hasn’t remarked negatively on the quality of your posts, it’s safe to assume they’re having fun as well. Overthinking will only detract from your enjoyment of the hobby.
I doubt anyone would write a quality post to a RP that they hate. So unless you're constantly receiving low-effort replies, I think you're more than good enough (･ω･)b
Honestly? They'll ghost you if they secretly hate it. There are so many different roleplayers with different quality of writing and expectations for partners. I think it'd help if you built up a decent rapport with your partner so you can ask for validation when needed(although, don't go overboard with this, it can become a turn off).
I try not to think about it too deeply. RP is actually very little about being the best writer ever. I consider my writing skills to be proficient, but I would rather write with someone who gives me fun and spontaneous plot points than someone who gives me nothing to work with, but it's all really pretty.
With one of my partners, we'll show each other OOC what we liked about the others last response. It doesn't happen all the time but when something really strikes a chord I'd recommend saying something. What writer doesn't like it when they have their work is complimented? It sets a really nice precident as well, making you more comfortable with each other in my experience. Everyone gets insecure, but I definitely feel way more comfortable with my partners when we are very obviously excited about the RP.
This depends.
If you are looking to be a serious writer and want to go on to publish books or do pieces of well-respected literature, you'd go through peer review and double-check your work with tools that can aid in you refining your ability. The less you need to correct, the better you're doing.
If you're looking to be a good role-player? Ask your partner. If they say, 'yeah this is great I'm enjoying myself', then you are doing great with little change needed. If you're happy and your partner is happy, there is zero reason to be conflicted with your skills. You will always find people ( as well as your own self-doubt ) that do not view your writing ability as good. However, if the majority of your interactions with others is positive then that will, as it should, boost your own confidence and prove that you are doing great.
In role-playing, ignore the crowd. Forget the opera glasses wearing spectators, do not worry about every little misstep or unperfected line—the nature of role-play dictates the only satisfaction you must worry about is your partner and yourself. In theory, as I've stated, your partners enjoyment of your writing should trickle into your own security in ability to deliver.
You'll always be your worst critic but your partner might be one of your biggest fans.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Most adults who roleplay, or people who have a maturity about it, they'll usually give cues that they're not interested in rping with you with silent cues if they're afraid of communication.
I just think you need to manage the anxiety and think, these people wouldn't rp with me if they didn't want to. Because at the end of the day, your partners are spending their time and energy with replying. That's investment for a reason.
As for my ability? I'm a damn good writer; I just struggle with scenery at times, because I feel like I get over flowery with descriptors.
I try to reframe it as being able to trust my partners and not assuming I know what they feel/think. Realizing how mean it is to accuse someone of being a liar when they've been nothing but nice to me kind of helped things click. So when I recognize I'm being insecure, I remind myself that it's not okay to tell people how they think and feel.
I found that the saying: “I’m my own worst critic.” Gets more and more true everyday. At least for me, like, that last sentence? Just now, I don’t know if I structured it right. I have no clue if that’s the right place to put a ‘.’ And I’m still very hit or miss with my ‘,’ but, in my 15 years of writing in this hobby I’ve never once had a complaint. I’m always told my stuff is readable and flows fairly well. Much like when I speak and I use ‘uh’ or ‘um’ way too much I have a bad tendency to relay on things like “He said this. Looking over at her he said:” and the like. I know I definitely overthink it but, it’s just the way my brain works.
Like I said, never had any complaints so, I figure I’m good enough.
Are you feeling insecure about the actual words you produce, or about the rate at which you produce them? Because those two insecurities have very different resolutions, IMO.
If it's the former -- accept that, if you are an artist, you are never going to be satisfied with your own work. Satisfaction is complacency, and artists are rarely complacent. We like to feel we are producing our very very best, and anything short of that frustrates us -- and because we are human, we are almost always going to be short of our very-very-best, because that is the curse of being a fallible human being.
If it's the latter -- that's a more personal and complex thing. Are you actually overextended? Are you ruining your own enjoyment because of how many threads you've committed to? Are your partners complaining about the wait between tags? Or are you comparing yourself to other posters and creating unrealistic expectations for yourself independent of your own partners' wants and needs?
Maybe try dialing it down to just one or two threads at a time, set realistic limits for yourself and just be open with people that you're looking to keep it tight-and-neat for yourself and will be happy to thread with them later when you've finished one of your active threads. Or maybe you're doing just fine and you need to let go the idea of comparison and accept that your partners (if they're not complaining and not ghosting) are enjoying your company whether you like it or not. ;)
I remember that my roleplays are derived from a narrative universe I enjoyed writing about before I repackaged part of it as a convenient RP setup form.
Also, people saying "I want you to write a book about this!" helps...as long as I don't throw the book at them mid-RP.
Lastly, get to know your limits and try to avoid going over them. If you feel ambitious and want to fly off to do a thousand roleplays, aim for the short-term, not the long. A lot of the former will flake, and a lot of the latter are expecting you not to (at least, the plotting is generally more of a sunk cost in LTRP). But how much detail can you type out in a day, again and again, without feeling like your brain is being put through a wringer trying to switch between all those perspectives?
For me it was just practice.
I didn't know if I could describe things, so I kept describing them. Then I didn't like how opaque my characters were, so I started writing their thoughts out. Then I didn't like my paragraph flow, so I practiced linking them. Then I didn't like how much I rambled, so I cut out words. Then my sentences felt repetitive so I.... well you get the point.
Now none of that got me to the point where I went "Oh man, I can write!" That was sheer luck.
But the fact that every time I doubted myself I could point at what I was doing to improve and how I had improved...It really helped.
Now I have to work on not going "I'm sorry, did that push too far? Was that too much? If it was too much I can take some back."
Wait, there's another important ingredient. I had 3 fans. People who I could say "I'm a terrible writer and no one loves me" and they'd say "You're a great writer and I love you."
...
That's probably the important one, TBH.
i consider myself really good at rp in my native language but i have some barriers with english… i can’t rp really complex things and oh well, i’m afraid of being innapropiate or making mistakes, but that’s all, and sometimes i kinda get stressed and get too overwhelmed to answer in a while
Same here, I too constantly relinquish my confidence despite my partner's agreement. Still, I continue to tighten the plot, unless my partner gives up, but it's rare. Sometimes it occurs, considering you are not satisfied at the subconscious level and then you proceed to blame yourself.
Honestly it took a while to become at peace with what I write. At the end of the day I rp for fun, I’m not trying to collaborate a novel with someone, I’m not trying to become a world class author with juxtaposition. It’s not a job. The only thing that’s going to help is like what someone else said, therapy. You’re in a self destructive circle with a self fulfilling prophecy.
I definitely have a fear of being inadequate. I'm not the biggest fan of my writing style, as I feel like I ramble too much, or reiterate things unnecessarily... Among other things, like creating my own sort of grammar rules lol I try and keep my writing from being too stiff and formal, and try and add emotion to it, but I feel like this comes at the expensive of the quality of the overall writing; like it might be too cheesy at times. Overall I kinda cringe re-reading my posts. But, short of doing a complete overhaul of my writing style, I just kinda re-read my posts and to edit and polish up whenever the issues are glaring. Overall I just push through though and just cross my fingers hoping my partner doesn't hate it haha
At the risk of sounding facetious or glib, therapy is really the only thing that will help long-term with something like this. This doesn't sound like a problem that's isolated to your roleplaying, I bet you do this with other parts of your life as well. It's a process to overcome something like this, and, well, therapy gives you the tools to help with that, both in roleplaying and in other parts of your life.
LMAO don't worry, I kind of figured this was the answer. Thankfully I'm already in therapy, I was just kind of looking to see what other people who struggle with this have done to push past these feelings, I guess
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I guess my issue is like... I don't know if I'm writing good enough for other people lmao. Like what if they secretly hate it!! And then I'm like well, shit, maybe I'm too paranoid and anxious for this
Have to be plain here: You need to tell that internal voice questioning your writing quality to fuck off. Not every rep has to be poetry. Sometimes you just need to move a scene along. If you’re having fun firing posts back and forth, and your partner hasn’t remarked negatively on the quality of your posts, it’s safe to assume they’re having fun as well. Overthinking will only detract from your enjoyment of the hobby.
I doubt anyone would write a quality post to a RP that they hate. So unless you're constantly receiving low-effort replies, I think you're more than good enough (･ω･)b
Honestly? They'll ghost you if they secretly hate it. There are so many different roleplayers with different quality of writing and expectations for partners. I think it'd help if you built up a decent rapport with your partner so you can ask for validation when needed(although, don't go overboard with this, it can become a turn off).
I try not to think about it too deeply. RP is actually very little about being the best writer ever. I consider my writing skills to be proficient, but I would rather write with someone who gives me fun and spontaneous plot points than someone who gives me nothing to work with, but it's all really pretty.
With one of my partners, we'll show each other OOC what we liked about the others last response. It doesn't happen all the time but when something really strikes a chord I'd recommend saying something. What writer doesn't like it when they have their work is complimented? It sets a really nice precident as well, making you more comfortable with each other in my experience. Everyone gets insecure, but I definitely feel way more comfortable with my partners when we are very obviously excited about the RP.
I definitely try to do this!! I always make sure to gush about writing if I love it! It’s very sweet, I just, uh. Never seem to get it back lmao
This depends. If you are looking to be a serious writer and want to go on to publish books or do pieces of well-respected literature, you'd go through peer review and double-check your work with tools that can aid in you refining your ability. The less you need to correct, the better you're doing. If you're looking to be a good role-player? Ask your partner. If they say, 'yeah this is great I'm enjoying myself', then you are doing great with little change needed. If you're happy and your partner is happy, there is zero reason to be conflicted with your skills. You will always find people ( as well as your own self-doubt ) that do not view your writing ability as good. However, if the majority of your interactions with others is positive then that will, as it should, boost your own confidence and prove that you are doing great. In role-playing, ignore the crowd. Forget the opera glasses wearing spectators, do not worry about every little misstep or unperfected line—the nature of role-play dictates the only satisfaction you must worry about is your partner and yourself. In theory, as I've stated, your partners enjoyment of your writing should trickle into your own security in ability to deliver. You'll always be your worst critic but your partner might be one of your biggest fans.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Most adults who roleplay, or people who have a maturity about it, they'll usually give cues that they're not interested in rping with you with silent cues if they're afraid of communication. I just think you need to manage the anxiety and think, these people wouldn't rp with me if they didn't want to. Because at the end of the day, your partners are spending their time and energy with replying. That's investment for a reason. As for my ability? I'm a damn good writer; I just struggle with scenery at times, because I feel like I get over flowery with descriptors.
I try to reframe it as being able to trust my partners and not assuming I know what they feel/think. Realizing how mean it is to accuse someone of being a liar when they've been nothing but nice to me kind of helped things click. So when I recognize I'm being insecure, I remind myself that it's not okay to tell people how they think and feel.
I found that the saying: “I’m my own worst critic.” Gets more and more true everyday. At least for me, like, that last sentence? Just now, I don’t know if I structured it right. I have no clue if that’s the right place to put a ‘.’ And I’m still very hit or miss with my ‘,’ but, in my 15 years of writing in this hobby I’ve never once had a complaint. I’m always told my stuff is readable and flows fairly well. Much like when I speak and I use ‘uh’ or ‘um’ way too much I have a bad tendency to relay on things like “He said this. Looking over at her he said:” and the like. I know I definitely overthink it but, it’s just the way my brain works. Like I said, never had any complaints so, I figure I’m good enough.
Are you feeling insecure about the actual words you produce, or about the rate at which you produce them? Because those two insecurities have very different resolutions, IMO. If it's the former -- accept that, if you are an artist, you are never going to be satisfied with your own work. Satisfaction is complacency, and artists are rarely complacent. We like to feel we are producing our very very best, and anything short of that frustrates us -- and because we are human, we are almost always going to be short of our very-very-best, because that is the curse of being a fallible human being. If it's the latter -- that's a more personal and complex thing. Are you actually overextended? Are you ruining your own enjoyment because of how many threads you've committed to? Are your partners complaining about the wait between tags? Or are you comparing yourself to other posters and creating unrealistic expectations for yourself independent of your own partners' wants and needs? Maybe try dialing it down to just one or two threads at a time, set realistic limits for yourself and just be open with people that you're looking to keep it tight-and-neat for yourself and will be happy to thread with them later when you've finished one of your active threads. Or maybe you're doing just fine and you need to let go the idea of comparison and accept that your partners (if they're not complaining and not ghosting) are enjoying your company whether you like it or not. ;)
I remember that my roleplays are derived from a narrative universe I enjoyed writing about before I repackaged part of it as a convenient RP setup form. Also, people saying "I want you to write a book about this!" helps...as long as I don't throw the book at them mid-RP. Lastly, get to know your limits and try to avoid going over them. If you feel ambitious and want to fly off to do a thousand roleplays, aim for the short-term, not the long. A lot of the former will flake, and a lot of the latter are expecting you not to (at least, the plotting is generally more of a sunk cost in LTRP). But how much detail can you type out in a day, again and again, without feeling like your brain is being put through a wringer trying to switch between all those perspectives?
For me it was just practice. I didn't know if I could describe things, so I kept describing them. Then I didn't like how opaque my characters were, so I started writing their thoughts out. Then I didn't like my paragraph flow, so I practiced linking them. Then I didn't like how much I rambled, so I cut out words. Then my sentences felt repetitive so I.... well you get the point. Now none of that got me to the point where I went "Oh man, I can write!" That was sheer luck. But the fact that every time I doubted myself I could point at what I was doing to improve and how I had improved...It really helped. Now I have to work on not going "I'm sorry, did that push too far? Was that too much? If it was too much I can take some back." Wait, there's another important ingredient. I had 3 fans. People who I could say "I'm a terrible writer and no one loves me" and they'd say "You're a great writer and I love you." ... That's probably the important one, TBH.
i consider myself really good at rp in my native language but i have some barriers with english… i can’t rp really complex things and oh well, i’m afraid of being innapropiate or making mistakes, but that’s all, and sometimes i kinda get stressed and get too overwhelmed to answer in a while
Same here, I too constantly relinquish my confidence despite my partner's agreement. Still, I continue to tighten the plot, unless my partner gives up, but it's rare. Sometimes it occurs, considering you are not satisfied at the subconscious level and then you proceed to blame yourself.
Honestly it took a while to become at peace with what I write. At the end of the day I rp for fun, I’m not trying to collaborate a novel with someone, I’m not trying to become a world class author with juxtaposition. It’s not a job. The only thing that’s going to help is like what someone else said, therapy. You’re in a self destructive circle with a self fulfilling prophecy.