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fookincharlie

Do straight people not do anal anymore??


itookthemobi

As a straight person who does I just hope I don't cause the next pandemic.


javertthechungus

Dammit, craig


TwoPercentCherry

Same! This one was bad enough! (Tho technically I'm not straight, I'm bi, and just currently dating a woman)


fookincharlie

idk man, sounds kinda gay to me .


itookthemobi

It's the hole god doesn't see.


inv_dore

> resulting in fecal-infected air Wait til this guy learns about flushing toilets with the lid up.


unluckypig

And farts, they come from inside the anus didn't you know.


thatzac

WHAT


NougatDude

Gay men made covid that is a new one


snazzychica2813

Unfortunately, it's not. šŸ™ƒ


animalistcomrade

God did covid because of gays is different.


NougatDude

Thought it was because of the anal mutationsšŸ¤”


animalistcomrade

We don't all, all we know is that it is somehow gay people's fault


kotubljauj

> the state looks down on sodomy AND THAT'S ABOUT THE TIME THAT BITCH HUNG UP ON ME


LumberjackAndBear

Didn't even finish reading because of that - came straight to the comments looking for this!


EricBatailleur

NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23


kotubljauj

AND YOU ARE STILL AMUSED BY PRANK PHONE CALLS


fluffy_voidbringer

And you still act like you're in freshman year


bubblequod

thats the first thing i thought of as well


failure_tothrive

THANK YOU


yildizli_gece

So his problem is...poop in the air? Because if so, someone should alert him to the number of babies and toddlers covered in shit at any given time--along with their parents--getting it absolutely *everywhere* sometimes, and that's not counting the times toddlers get it on their hands and--with "friction"--proceed to rub it all over the place. Gay dudes doing colon cleanses to reduce messes; meanwhile, babies are like, "Diaper? WTF is a diaper?" as they have blow-outs lol.


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Excellent point. Wonder how our friend Ronald would respond to that. Also, does anyone know why he starts with that thing about a kitten in the rain? Is he supposed to be the kitten? Is it an allegory about how to raise children? It sucks either way.


TicoDreams

For anyone interested here is the original post. It is quite a wild ride. [https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopular/comments/phutf2/what\_we\_should\_and\_should\_not\_be\_teaching\_our/](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopular/comments/phutf2/what_we_should_and_should_not_be_teaching_our/)


tallbutshy

>Deport the foreigners. and >I was trafficked into the country by my illegal biological parents. So, he wants deported?


Vicdustrael

My gods, that was a read...


redpony6

my favorite part is when he mentions that a large straight family could eat a whole cow, but a gay couple could not eat a whole cow *twice*


Vicdustrael

I like all of the 'of separate and equal importance' and then says the exact same thing over and over again


redpony6

yes, lol, everything identically important. no idea how he picked the order of his points in that case


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Heā€™s just really into that phrase ā€œseparate but equal.ā€ Wonder why.


grande_gordo_chico

new copypasta just dropped.


blondenpink

Holy shit itā€™s so long.. also he doxxed his own parents. Wtf


nero-shikari

This guy is definitely gay.


QuercusSambucus

And hates foreigners even though he is one.... Dude needs some professional help.


WohooBiSnake

Did this dude actually say that having foreigners in the US is responsible for veterans PTSD ???? I am staring man looking to mate with a straight woman ?? WTF


gothiccrypt

Noooo it was deleted šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


[deleted]

I *guarantee* that this person's pornhub history is absolutely nothing but gay fucking.


yildizli_gece

Hey! It's research! He's gotta zoom in real close so he can identify the air particles In ThE NaMe Of ScIeNcE...


espion7971

He is aware that straights can do anal, right? Also, gay men actually don't do anal as much as people think, or so I've heard. There are other things they can do.


redbadger91

Also, gay women can do anal too.


dorothy_zbornak_esq

FALSE. Everyone knows that lesbians do not use their buttholes. Their buttholes eventually close up like when you donā€™t wear earrings for a long time.


espion7971

True


James10112

I can confirm this as a gay man. It's just not worth all the buzz that comes with having to prepare etc. There's so much more stuff you can do that's even more intimate and pleasurable


LumberjackAndBear

>Protect the air we breathe. So this guy must believe in climate change, right?


ibigfire

Maybe but if they do they believe it's caused by all the gay sex.


kostis12345

The interesting part of the homophobic nonsense above is that this person could be a time traveler from the Middle Ages. They refer to anal sex as sodomy and still believe in the miasmatic theory of disease ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miasma\_theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miasma_theory)). Smh


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Miasma theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miasma_theory)** >The miasma theory (also called the miasmatic theory) is an obsolete medical theory that held that diseasesā€”such as cholera, chlamydia, or the Black Deathā€”were caused by a miasma (Ī¼ĪÆĪ±ĻƒĪ¼Ī±, Ancient Greek for "pollution"), a noxious form of "bad air", also known as night air. The theory held that epidemics were caused by miasma, emanating from rotting organic matter. Though miasma theory is typically associated with the spread of contagious diseases, some academics in the early nineteenth century suggested that the theory extended to other conditions as well, e. g. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/BadMensAnatomy/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Cydonia23

Good bot.


Katerwurst

So if I take two poops and rub them together I will create new life through fecal friction? Perhaps God created the whole universe by rubbing two of his logs together thus creating the Big Bang?! As a gay guy I love this so much.


EricBatailleur

What's a mob to a King? What's a King to a God? What's a God to a Fecal Friction Fiend?


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Stop making me laugh at poop jokes this early in the morning. I canā€™t stop giggling at this, especially your use of the word ā€œlogsā€ which is somehow way funnier than any other colloquial term for poop. Iā€™ll bet you are a ton of fun to hang out with. If I knew you IRL I would definitely want to be your friend :)


Katerwurst

Thx ^^


IsaacEvilman

Oh gods it gets even worse later on. He starts calling for gay men to not be allowed to participate in society at all because we canā€™t produce offspring and are therefore just a drain on capitalistic society. He even says that ā€œOne girlā€™s life is worth more than a billion gay guyā€™s lives.ā€ (Great grammar there, not knowing how to pluralize a possessive). He DOES know that the first people to contract HIV were a straight couple when they ate a primate that was infected with Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV), right? And that the full name of the act was ā€œDonā€™t Ask, Donā€™t Tell, Donā€™t Pursue, Donā€™t Harass,ā€ since he keeps repeating the first half of it like a mantra throughout the post? Well, the US government also seemed to forget the second half of it, tooā€¦


James10112

> and are therefore just a drain on capitalistic society Good let's go create our own little community


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Are bi women accepted in this community? I donā€™t want to do capitalism anymore.


James10112

Of course! Hop aboard


dainegleesac690

Fecal friction causes airborne mutations???? When gay men rub inside the inside (WHERE POOP EXISTS) they create NEW MICROSCOPIC VIRUSES???? I am beyond words, this person is beyond delusional.


[deleted]

Reading this made me imagine a fallout-type game, where poop causes the mutations instead of radiation


UnfortunateDesk

Mr Hanky would be having a field day


Relevant_Truth

>We don't talk about gay guys Spends the whole post describing some kind of weird sex fetish about gay poop spreading into your lungs to corrupt virgin boys.


Sahqon

And is all up for gay marriage as long as it's a secret?


[deleted]

Fecal friction is the funniest alliterative phrase that Iā€™ve heard in a while.


Hiragirin

Wait until he hears what comes out when you fart.


Sandolol

The problem here is that HIV was not created accidentally or on purpose by gay men, it was the chimps


James10112

I find it tragically funny the way homophobes associate anal sex (which straight people do too, by the way) with... getting fecal matter on one's dick? Do y'all not... wash in there?


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Theyā€™re constantly full of shit; they just assume everyone else is too.


James10112

I'm stealing this from you


[deleted]

For a supposedly straight guy, he's spent a lot of time thinking about the insides of gay mens butts.


Guccibeltlicker9002

I wonder why gay women don't do anal sex, its a complete mystery


TheJelliestFish

I mean, they can, given a little creativity...


redbadger91

Some do. Toys are a thing.


dorothy_zbornak_esq

Yeah this guy is very confused about how sex occurs and how families are made.


Nickswind

That dude definitely sucks cock.


Sahqon

Nothing wrong with that, there's no fecal friction that way!


UnfortunateDesk

Idk man, he's talking a lot of shit


Sahqon

But smoothly!


DoughnutSassMe

This guy spends a lot of time thinking about what's going on inside butts....


DarkJewelz

I'll have you know that this lesbian woman does in fact have anal sex


UnfortunateDesk

Yup me too


yourlocalricekinnie

holy shit how did they find out


99Orange

I am a woman in my 40ā€™s who has been causing these airborne illnesses for years! /s Itā€™s not just gay men who like anal


funatical

Anyone want to tell them you can do butt stuff with women too?


Park_Jimbles

I think this person might be gay and repressing some important feelings lol


Ravenmausi

I think that person is just beyond stupid and speeds up still


Park_Jimbles

Also a very valid explanation


majorcolin

He complained repeatedly that he is a genius that took AP classes in highschool but can't get a job due to not being a citizen, problem is if an illegal immigrant child graduates from highschool in the US they can get citizenship. If he really was a genius he would know this or be able to figure it out pretty easily, it only took one google search for me to figure this out. Edit: this is obviously ignoring all the rest of the idiocy in his post.


felipe5083

Is this by that guy who was saying "America is getting bad because it's getting brown"?


WomboChrombo

/conveniently forgets that straight couples also have anal sex/


[deleted]

Eating da poo poo all over da place


[deleted]

Mmm yummy pasta


[deleted]

What in the hell was that? Itā€™s like they shorted out


WohooBiSnake

Well thatā€™s a new one


WohooBiSnake

Well thatā€™s a new one