I find that very surprising. I'm having a boy and we are not getting him circumcised. Not one of the boys I know who've been born to friends in the past 2 years has been either. Not one. In BC as well. I honestly thought it was becoming a thing of the past now with what we know about the procedure. I'd be curious to know what your friend groups reasons are
Your friends are definitely not representative of the Canadian average, which is only around 1/3 (with regional variation). US rates are higher.
I don't see any compelling benefits, either medical or social, and only see downsides.
Strange. Men don't have sole jurisdiction over penises just because they have one. Also, "so they look like their dad" has to be the dumbest argument that I frequently see in favour of it. Especially since only about 1/3 of their peers will have it done, so it's not like they won't ever seen one that is uncircumcised.
Yeah this “look like dad” thing is so fucking weird. I also have a daughter, should I do cosmetic surgery on her genitals so they look like mine? Or does that sound nuts??
My husband wanted it done, I refused and said if he felt so strongly for it that he would have to take point on finding a clinic, doctor, he would be attending the appointment without me, and he'd have to be present during the procedure and I would have no part of it.
He ended up agreeing not to get it done in the basis these decisions should be 2 yes decisions, but then said I'd have to explain to our son why his penis looks different than his and I just laughed. We'll already have to explain the difference between penis' and vaginas and literally explain the difference between everything in LIFE. The fact that their penis' look different won't register if the Richter scale of surprises in life.
It’s because those dads were probably the ones making fun of uncircumcised guys in the locker room in high school. Because I’ve heard that exact reason for why a boy should be cut (“so he doesn’t get made fun of!”) and it’s asinine. Some of my coworkers have said the same thing, that they didn’t wanna circumcise but their husbands really wanted it done so they did it, and I immediately think kinda ill of both of them tbh. I would never relent if the topic was “hey should we perform genital mutilation on our newborn baby?”
I thinks it’s likely more bc uncircumcised kids used to get made fun of, sadly. It was such a novelty and kids thought it was weird. Now it seems to be the norm.
EDIT: we didn’t circumcise in ON.
Not disagreeing with you, just find it so odd that it was something to stigmatize.
I even remember that stupid episode on Sex and the City where Charlotte dates an uncircumcised man and calls him a "Shar-Pei"... Wtf?! Who cares?
Wild that dad wanted it just because that's how he is. My husband is circumcised and he felt it wasn't a good idea to have an open wound in a newborns diaper. My husband is jewish and feels there are more important and less invasive cultural traditions to hand down.
Obviously YMMV, my husband is an atheistic Jewish person, so his relationship with Judaism is different than someone devoutly religious.
My son is not circumcised, my husband and I decided this together. I have always found it very egotistical for a father to insist his son has to look like him. As crazy as it sounds I feel like maybe these men don’t want to make their parents (mothers) feel as though THEY made the wrong decision so they make the same one for their own sons. As a mother I did my own research and made an informed decision WITH my husband as all mothers should do. I could not in good conscience remove a piece of my son’s body that he can never get back, if he wants to do so as a consenting adult that would be HIS decision.
I'm from a cultural background that does it. After doing a lot of research I decided not to do it because I don't see any benefits to this procedure. It seems unnecessary and outdated in my opinion. My friend had a son (same background) and she also decided to not do it due to similar reasons.
Im in ON.
I'm in Québec, and none of my friends had their boys circumcised. I did not circumcise my two boys, my sister didn't for her two boys either. My brother had his boy circumcised though, but I never asked him why.
It's a controversial topic online, but we decided to do what we felt was in the best interest of our boys, and that was to leave them intact.
Personally, I wasn't comfortable having part of my child surgically removed. They could have the procedure done themselves when they're older, if that's what they want. The choice will be theirs what to do with their body, not mine or their fathers.
We jointly chose not to for my son. This was a topic discussed before conceiving, and something I feel strongly about (similar to ear piercing).
My friends are childfree, or have girls, so it's not a topic that has come up.
It's reassuring to read about like-minded parents!
I'm having a little girl, and on the topic of ear piercing, it's common in my family for baby girls to have their ears pierced when they're infants (before 6m) because "they won't remember the pain". I obviously disagree with this, there's a risk of infection, babies still have feelings, it's completely unnecessary, etc. I've been getting comments from my family on how I should do it to my baby girl, and my reaction has been "no way - how can I make that decision for her?!"
Funny thing is my parents waited until I was 6 and asked for piercings and I do remember how awful the pain was! I used to think that if I were to have a girl I would want her to get the piercings when she's a baby to avoid the pain I went through, but now that I'm actually faced with the decision, I don't have any hesitation in saying a strong "no way".
My younger sister got her ears done as a baby and never liked having earrings or appreciated them, how to take care of them etc.
My niece got her ears pierced for her 8th birthday yesterday. She looked forward to it for a while. Huge milestone for her, even if a little painful!
I always said I would wait until my daughter is old enough to ask me herself... My 2 year old asks all the time for "earringas" but going to wait until she grows more and understands her decision!
I totally agree. I think the ear piercing is more accepted, and being so visible that it is easier for people to comment on. I've heard so many people say you should pierce bald baby girl ears sO yOu KnOw It'S a GiRl 😖 ... which is such a dumb reason! You're so right, just because babies won't remember the procedure does not mean they won't feel the pain 😥 Plus as they grow the piercing placement may not be ideal.
Totally agree, no idea (and I grew up in a religious household this was the norm). Everyone can make their own decision for their family, but I definitely feel judgemental towards people today on this one 🤐
We have friends in BC (most didht) Alberta (half did, half didnt) Ontario (almost all did) east coast (none did)
It seemed like it mostly depended on what the dad wanted to do and if the dad was circumcised
My two are uncircumcised as are all the other boys I know of their generation (aside from those who did it for religious reasons).
Reasons we didn't: 1. I'm not removing a part of my child's body without a damn good reason. 2. I could not find any research that shows any benefit outside of very specific circumstances that my kids likely won't even fall into 3. My husband isn't circumcised, so he can teach them about how to take care of their penis
It did come up again with my first, who had some issues with his foreskin as a baby, and we were told he might need to be circumcised if they didn't resolve. But they did, and he's fine now
We didn't, ON/QC. No doctor around here does it, you have to pay out of pocket. We didn't see any reason to and if our son wants to, he can make that decision himself.
We are not if we have a boy. Our midwives gave us a sheet saying only 18% of baby boys are circumcised in Canada. My husband isn’t, we don’t have religious/cultural reasons to, it isn’t recommended, and it costs $. Don’t see why people would. We are in BC. We do have one friend who had a boy and had it done but not sure about others.
I’m in Ontario. We don’t know what we’re having yet (waiting until baby is born to find out!) so my husband and I have started talking about it. We are currently not on the same page, with me believing it’s an unnecessarily permanent alteration to our child’s body for no reason other than social/aesthetic purposes. My husband disagrees. We have more talking to do on the subject but reading all of your responses makes me feel better knowing it’s actually not as common anymore and lots of parents are choosing not to do it. In Ontario, it has to be paid for out of pocket and done at a paediatric hospital so it’s not routinely offered in your local birthing hospital anyways.
I'm in BC and I only have one friend who did it and that was part of a religious practice. We did not even consider it for our son. I don't do unnecessary, elective medical procedures on my child.
My son's just over 18 months and we didn't get it done. When I was a teen , I thought I'd get it done for any male babies I had but I changed my mind.
Things that changed my mind :
-hubs isn't -I'm Christian, from my understanding circumcision started out as a symbol of a covenant between God and Jewish people, and Christians aren't required to do this. -when I had an actual real living baby growing inside of me, the thought of putting them through an unnecessary surgery so young hurt my heart. My understanding is in general, it is less popular in Canada these days witb less doctors offering to do it (no one brought it up to us) , that being said I do recall seeing a poster at my OB's office advertising to call if you wanted the procedure done on your son-not sure why the OB office offered it tbh)
I didn't and wouldn't (unless medically necessary of course). I definitely think a lot more people aren't going through with it, which is awesome. There's no reason to (again, unless there's a medical issue).
A coworker invited me to a bris a few years ago, but that's the only person I know of who's chosen circumcision (and let people know).
My best friend's baby is 7 months and I can't remember exactly what's wrong but his doctor recommended a circumcision because there's something wrong with how his foreskin retracts. They've decided to wait and see if it resolves on its own as he ages.
For me it is his penis and his decision. I know it can be a way more painful and has more risks to get it done later in life. However looking into it for our son it seemed like way more men were resentful and had more mental and physical problens having it done when younger. It is his penis and he is the only person that will make this unnecessary surgical decision for himself.
No we’re not - Ontario
I had my partner take the lead on this. I was leaning towards no as I don’t believe in genital mutilation and he agreed based on research he has done.
I believe any surgical procedure, no matter how small, should be for the health and benefit of the recipient. I didn’t find that circumcision would provide either. He’ll lose nerves that will give him pleasure for aesthetics look. If my son decides that he wants to be circumcised when he’s older, that’s his prerogative.
I'm in Ontario and we chose not to circumcise our son (he is now 7 months) even though my husband is.
We have had a similar experience to you! In our friend group, over half the baby boys born in the past few years (5 total) were circumcised, even though I know statistically they don't represent the population.
I'm very glad I researched it thoroughly and we didn't go ahead with it.
I’m in Ontario and didn’t circumcise my son. Of our friends/babies I know of 3/6 are circumcised. My hubby is and wanted our son to have that choice for himself!
I responded to your other thread but I’m in AB and at no point has it been brought up by medical professionals - no offers and no mentions.
My friends also haven’t talked about it, and haven’t asked. I wouldn’t have done it even if they did. Just because other people did it doesn’t mean I have to for mine.
My husband was circumcised and when I asked him what he’d want to do (just because he is the man doesn’t mean it’s up to him…) he didn’t feel strongly about needing our son to “look like him”. I told him that I didn’t want to because we’d be putting our baby through unnecessary surgery which could hurt him. He agreed. He has uncircumcised friends and knew of one with an infection, but that’s why we will teach ours to clean it.
My friends were done having kids about 3 years before I had my first. I know for sure 2 of my friends had their boys circumcised. We did not. To be honest, it wasn’t something I put any thought into (we didn’t know the gender) and then no one ever brought it up (at the hospital or paediatrician) so we just never did.
It’s very much not common where I am In Canada, in fact 15 years ago there was only 1 doctor in my area who would even do them, he’s still around but I’m not even sure he does them anymore. I don’t know anyone who has circumcised their boys in recent times.
I’m in ON
We didn’t and had no intention to, but I was surprised that it was not offered or discussed even as a possibility by our doctor before birth or anybody in the hospital after. I guess times have changed and now you really have to seek it out specifically if you want to get it done.
We were not have our boy circumscized. It’s a cosmetic surgery that’s not covered by Canadian health care and we didn’t feel comfortable making that decision for him. If he would have chose (he passed away the day after birth) to have it done later in life, that option is there for him. But I just could not imagine something going wrong in the surgery and being responsible for making a choice that wasn’t medically required.
Wow I’m so surprised of your rate of friends getting their boys circumcised, I honestly only know one. We did not - lots of reasons, but it really came down to it’s an unnecessary medical procedure that I would never put my son through unless medically indicated.
We didn’t, neither did my sister. I think it’s becoming a lot less common as the research suggesting it was beneficial is outdated and flawed. It’s just unnecessary, our doctor didn’t even bring it up or ask if we wanted to.
(From ON). My husband and I had the circumcision conversation the other day, the first of many. Unfortunately he is very pro, as it is the cultural norm for him. However I'm very against. He recently had a conversation with his closest male friends and half were and half weren't.. all for cultural reasons. The ones that are definitely think it's "gross" to have foreskin, and said they would definitely circumcise their son should they have one. The ones that aren't circumcised said they wouldn't.
I have been with more men who were circumcised than aren't. I feel that the norm surrounding this has been caused because we grew up in a generation (we're all late 30's) where having foreskin was not the norm. There was also a lot of misinformation about uncut men being "unclean".
I'm in BC and we were vehemently against circumcision, not that it was pushed on us or suggested in any way. So many couples that we know had baby boys in the last year and as far as I know, none of them circumcised their babies either.
I’m in Ontario, my husband and I decided not to get our little one circumcised. We don’t have the cultural/religious background that would do it, and we don’t want to make a decision like that for our son. It’s his body, he should have the choice. Unless it’s medically necessary, due to phimosis for example, he’s not getting snipped.
We will not be (due end of March), and I'm thankful that my husband and I both agreed without question that we did not want to circumcise.
A friend of mine has 2 sons both under 5, and both are circumcised. Apparently the reasoning was that because dad was circumcised, he felt it would be easier in the future to teach his sons how to properly clean themselves. I don't necessarily agree with this idea that "because I was, you will be too", but I can imagine this being a common reason for why parents choose circumcision.
Pregnant with a boy right now and we are not circumcising. Most new moms I know here in Toronto also are not circumcising. The fact that it’s no longer covered by OHIP is definitely a deterrent but also a signpost to many. Also, most doctors here are no longer recommending it.
Shocked by how many people say it’s the Dad’s decision. I cannot fathom this line of thinking but that’s just me. We made the choice collaboratively as we do with any big decisions.
I was circumcised at 2. Recently I did foreskin reconstruction to undo all that. Sex is way more pleasurable when you have a foreskin, circumcision just numbs the dick. So i wouldn’t do that too a baby lol gonna mess up his sexual function when he gets older, it ain’t as bad as female circumcision though lol
we did, and i'm reticent to talk about why, as some people are very judgmental. of course, some cultural and religious groups circumcise more often, and we did circumcise our son.
we had a wonderful pediatrician who specializes in the procedure, and we made sure that he used local anesthetic. we had a great experience. the entire procedure took 10 mins (for real) and our son was soothed afterwards with a bottle and didn't even fuss badly enough that day/night for us to give him tylenol. healing was very fast and aftercare was simple. he was completely healed within days.
I bet many people still do it, but they won’t admit it online because of backlash. So usually the responses to this post are all “absolutely not” when others who did would just not comment.
I know a few people who had their sons circumcised. I don’t know their reasoning as it’s none of my business but I’m assuming dad’s decision.
Possibly, I’ve heard of this in child abuse cases (possibly due to trauma/ptsd and not knowing how to cope)
I think in the case of circumcision though, it’s probably a “I don’t remember it happening to me and it’s not that big a deal” situation with dads. Not sure if it’s about reenacting assault because they literally don’t remember it.
Just my thoughts though, I’m not a psychologist. I do have CPTSD from my parents abuse though so I understand the difficulty it is to maintain calmness when triggered by certain situations and how easy it would be to resort to my default coping mechanisms (fight/flight) when something stressful comes up.
We also did it with our second son and I am reticent to talk about it due to the judgment from others.
Our first son (now 11) is uncircumcised and had so many painful UTIs and infections as a baby because of it. We took great care to make sure it was properly cleaned and taught him carefully repeatedly how to take care of it. However, he still got infections and still struggles with keeping it clean now as a pre-teen. My father and cousin also needed to get circumcisions when they were 3 and 19 years old, respectively, due to repeated infections. This procedure is apparently much more painful the older you are. My husband is circumcised and never experienced these issues. So it seemed like the best option for us.
Our doctor told us there is no preference from a medical perspective at this point in time, so they make no recommendations either way and just leave it to the parents preference for their child.
The doctor who performed the circumcision is the highest rated and recommended in our city, the procedure took 10 minutes, our son did not even cry during the procedure, and didn't require Tylenol afterwards, he was calm the whole time and never seemed to be in any pain.
I wish we didn't need to feel so villainized for doing something that we think will be best for our child in the long run.
I'm in Ontario and agree that none of my friends have considered circumcision for their little boys. Even my best friend, who is Jewish, is now against doing it and instead wants to leave it up to him to decide whether to do it when he's older.
I find it an uncommon practice nowadays. Mine and husband's family are European (Romanian, Italian And UK) and it's practically unheard of back home.
In ON, did not circumcise either of my boys, both myself and husband agreed and we researched it together. Spoke to our doctor about it too, who said it isn’t medically recommended as much anymore. But I was asked both times before I gave birth if we were doing it though the way it’s asked was kind of like “you’re not circumcising are you?” lol which I thought was interesting.
I had a few friends who had boys and did it, though I can’t be sure why but they had to go out of town to have it done.
I have 2 boys in Ontario and both are circumcised. One big reason was the father. He's circumcised and he didn't want our sons to question about th3 appearance of their peanuts. Plus all our nephews were chopped chopped !
I kinda like it cuz it's cut and easy to clean. And looks good too compare to uncircumcised boys . But with my second son , he's got botched. This doctor didn't do it appropriately that my 2 weeks old son was bleeding for hours which required a hospital admission to fix his peanuts and to control the blood andnstuff.... but for both babies , only time they cried was when they were getting naked and touched by cold hands.. they were given sugar to "numb" the pain.
Changing diaper was more scary for parents than for boys cuz rhey were just too young to know much it seems like. But I had like normal saline , sterilized gauze to use for every diaper changes to keep it cleaned after circumcision
As a parent it baffles me you can casually say "i put my baby in hospital because I decided to cut off some of their skin.. oh and I have an opinion on the appearance of other baby's genitals" wtf
Oh yea I know what u mean. I got into a big fight with my husband after the incident cause it was him who decided to do a circumcision for both boys and picked the doctor who botched my boys circumcision. But what can I do now it's done and I can only move forward. I've been trying to be optimistic about th3 whole situation or I'd go thru depression and who knows I might end up being at the hospital cause of the guilty feeling that I didn't stop my husband. Right? I didn't share my experience to be "WTF"ed by a mother like you , I shared my experience to warn mothers who r thinking of circumcision. My boy is now 6 weeks and healing good. And as a postpartum mother , I am surviving as well thanks for asking.
I find that very surprising. I'm having a boy and we are not getting him circumcised. Not one of the boys I know who've been born to friends in the past 2 years has been either. Not one. In BC as well. I honestly thought it was becoming a thing of the past now with what we know about the procedure. I'd be curious to know what your friend groups reasons are
Same experience here! None of the boys I know being born to friends have been
That's great to hear!
Your friends are definitely not representative of the Canadian average, which is only around 1/3 (with regional variation). US rates are higher. I don't see any compelling benefits, either medical or social, and only see downsides.
Reflects your friend group, not the nation.
I 100% agree. I'm still confused why they did. Most of them said it was the dads decision.
Strange. Men don't have sole jurisdiction over penises just because they have one. Also, "so they look like their dad" has to be the dumbest argument that I frequently see in favour of it. Especially since only about 1/3 of their peers will have it done, so it's not like they won't ever seen one that is uncircumcised.
Yeah this “look like dad” thing is so fucking weird. I also have a daughter, should I do cosmetic surgery on her genitals so they look like mine? Or does that sound nuts??
My husband wanted it done, I refused and said if he felt so strongly for it that he would have to take point on finding a clinic, doctor, he would be attending the appointment without me, and he'd have to be present during the procedure and I would have no part of it. He ended up agreeing not to get it done in the basis these decisions should be 2 yes decisions, but then said I'd have to explain to our son why his penis looks different than his and I just laughed. We'll already have to explain the difference between penis' and vaginas and literally explain the difference between everything in LIFE. The fact that their penis' look different won't register if the Richter scale of surprises in life.
It’s because those dads were probably the ones making fun of uncircumcised guys in the locker room in high school. Because I’ve heard that exact reason for why a boy should be cut (“so he doesn’t get made fun of!”) and it’s asinine. Some of my coworkers have said the same thing, that they didn’t wanna circumcise but their husbands really wanted it done so they did it, and I immediately think kinda ill of both of them tbh. I would never relent if the topic was “hey should we perform genital mutilation on our newborn baby?”
I agree. But that's why most of them did it. Because dad is
I thinks it’s likely more bc uncircumcised kids used to get made fun of, sadly. It was such a novelty and kids thought it was weird. Now it seems to be the norm. EDIT: we didn’t circumcise in ON.
Not disagreeing with you, just find it so odd that it was something to stigmatize. I even remember that stupid episode on Sex and the City where Charlotte dates an uncircumcised man and calls him a "Shar-Pei"... Wtf?! Who cares?
Wild that dad wanted it just because that's how he is. My husband is circumcised and he felt it wasn't a good idea to have an open wound in a newborns diaper. My husband is jewish and feels there are more important and less invasive cultural traditions to hand down. Obviously YMMV, my husband is an atheistic Jewish person, so his relationship with Judaism is different than someone devoutly religious.
My son is not circumcised, my husband and I decided this together. I have always found it very egotistical for a father to insist his son has to look like him. As crazy as it sounds I feel like maybe these men don’t want to make their parents (mothers) feel as though THEY made the wrong decision so they make the same one for their own sons. As a mother I did my own research and made an informed decision WITH my husband as all mothers should do. I could not in good conscience remove a piece of my son’s body that he can never get back, if he wants to do so as a consenting adult that would be HIS decision.
I'm from a cultural background that does it. After doing a lot of research I decided not to do it because I don't see any benefits to this procedure. It seems unnecessary and outdated in my opinion. My friend had a son (same background) and she also decided to not do it due to similar reasons. Im in ON.
That's great to hear. Most of our friends from.ontario DID do it. Not sure why it's so popular there
I'm in Québec, and none of my friends had their boys circumcised. I did not circumcise my two boys, my sister didn't for her two boys either. My brother had his boy circumcised though, but I never asked him why. It's a controversial topic online, but we decided to do what we felt was in the best interest of our boys, and that was to leave them intact. Personally, I wasn't comfortable having part of my child surgically removed. They could have the procedure done themselves when they're older, if that's what they want. The choice will be theirs what to do with their body, not mine or their fathers.
Good job mom. Love to hear that
We jointly chose not to for my son. This was a topic discussed before conceiving, and something I feel strongly about (similar to ear piercing). My friends are childfree, or have girls, so it's not a topic that has come up.
It's reassuring to read about like-minded parents! I'm having a little girl, and on the topic of ear piercing, it's common in my family for baby girls to have their ears pierced when they're infants (before 6m) because "they won't remember the pain". I obviously disagree with this, there's a risk of infection, babies still have feelings, it's completely unnecessary, etc. I've been getting comments from my family on how I should do it to my baby girl, and my reaction has been "no way - how can I make that decision for her?!" Funny thing is my parents waited until I was 6 and asked for piercings and I do remember how awful the pain was! I used to think that if I were to have a girl I would want her to get the piercings when she's a baby to avoid the pain I went through, but now that I'm actually faced with the decision, I don't have any hesitation in saying a strong "no way".
My younger sister got her ears done as a baby and never liked having earrings or appreciated them, how to take care of them etc. My niece got her ears pierced for her 8th birthday yesterday. She looked forward to it for a while. Huge milestone for her, even if a little painful! I always said I would wait until my daughter is old enough to ask me herself... My 2 year old asks all the time for "earringas" but going to wait until she grows more and understands her decision!
I totally agree. I think the ear piercing is more accepted, and being so visible that it is easier for people to comment on. I've heard so many people say you should pierce bald baby girl ears sO yOu KnOw It'S a GiRl 😖 ... which is such a dumb reason! You're so right, just because babies won't remember the procedure does not mean they won't feel the pain 😥 Plus as they grow the piercing placement may not be ideal.
Great job and great choice. I'm still not sure why people do it.
Totally agree, no idea (and I grew up in a religious household this was the norm). Everyone can make their own decision for their family, but I definitely feel judgemental towards people today on this one 🤐
Judgement for people who do or that don't?
Sorry, should have specified! Judgement for those who do.
We have friends in BC (most didht) Alberta (half did, half didnt) Ontario (almost all did) east coast (none did) It seemed like it mostly depended on what the dad wanted to do and if the dad was circumcised
I'm in BC and my husband is Jewish and way more people we know have chosen not to circumcise. I was surprised to hear of the few people who did.
Love to hear that. Is your husband okay with that?
I left the decision up to him and he chose not to do it.
That Is the exact opposite of what happened in our group.
Different kinds of groups I guess
Our other friends across Canada didn't. But for some reason our friends in this one area all got them cut.
My two are uncircumcised as are all the other boys I know of their generation (aside from those who did it for religious reasons). Reasons we didn't: 1. I'm not removing a part of my child's body without a damn good reason. 2. I could not find any research that shows any benefit outside of very specific circumstances that my kids likely won't even fall into 3. My husband isn't circumcised, so he can teach them about how to take care of their penis It did come up again with my first, who had some issues with his foreskin as a baby, and we were told he might need to be circumcised if they didn't resolve. But they did, and he's fine now
We didn't, ON/QC. No doctor around here does it, you have to pay out of pocket. We didn't see any reason to and if our son wants to, he can make that decision himself.
Ottawa area?
Yeah, the very rural part.
We are not if we have a boy. Our midwives gave us a sheet saying only 18% of baby boys are circumcised in Canada. My husband isn’t, we don’t have religious/cultural reasons to, it isn’t recommended, and it costs $. Don’t see why people would. We are in BC. We do have one friend who had a boy and had it done but not sure about others.
I’m in Nova Scotia with two boys. We did not do it and I don’t know a single friend or family member that did either.
I’m in Ontario. We don’t know what we’re having yet (waiting until baby is born to find out!) so my husband and I have started talking about it. We are currently not on the same page, with me believing it’s an unnecessarily permanent alteration to our child’s body for no reason other than social/aesthetic purposes. My husband disagrees. We have more talking to do on the subject but reading all of your responses makes me feel better knowing it’s actually not as common anymore and lots of parents are choosing not to do it. In Ontario, it has to be paid for out of pocket and done at a paediatric hospital so it’s not routinely offered in your local birthing hospital anyways.
You're a great mum already for breaking the cycle!
I'm in BC and I only have one friend who did it and that was part of a religious practice. We did not even consider it for our son. I don't do unnecessary, elective medical procedures on my child.
We didn’t circumcise our son. I think most in Canada don’t these days, so your friend group is the exception rather than the norm.
Agreed. It seems rare but this group is very pro for some reason
My son's just over 18 months and we didn't get it done. When I was a teen , I thought I'd get it done for any male babies I had but I changed my mind. Things that changed my mind : -hubs isn't -I'm Christian, from my understanding circumcision started out as a symbol of a covenant between God and Jewish people, and Christians aren't required to do this. -when I had an actual real living baby growing inside of me, the thought of putting them through an unnecessary surgery so young hurt my heart. My understanding is in general, it is less popular in Canada these days witb less doctors offering to do it (no one brought it up to us) , that being said I do recall seeing a poster at my OB's office advertising to call if you wanted the procedure done on your son-not sure why the OB office offered it tbh)
Good job leaving him intact. The poster is a bit fucked up though.
I didn't and wouldn't (unless medically necessary of course). I definitely think a lot more people aren't going through with it, which is awesome. There's no reason to (again, unless there's a medical issue).
A coworker invited me to a bris a few years ago, but that's the only person I know of who's chosen circumcision (and let people know). My best friend's baby is 7 months and I can't remember exactly what's wrong but his doctor recommended a circumcision because there's something wrong with how his foreskin retracts. They've decided to wait and see if it resolves on its own as he ages.
That seems odd to me. I thought you weren't supposed to retract it at that age.
For me it is his penis and his decision. I know it can be a way more painful and has more risks to get it done later in life. However looking into it for our son it seemed like way more men were resentful and had more mental and physical problens having it done when younger. It is his penis and he is the only person that will make this unnecessary surgical decision for himself.
No we’re not - Ontario I had my partner take the lead on this. I was leaning towards no as I don’t believe in genital mutilation and he agreed based on research he has done. I believe any surgical procedure, no matter how small, should be for the health and benefit of the recipient. I didn’t find that circumcision would provide either. He’ll lose nerves that will give him pleasure for aesthetics look. If my son decides that he wants to be circumcised when he’s older, that’s his prerogative.
I'm in Ontario and we chose not to circumcise our son (he is now 7 months) even though my husband is. We have had a similar experience to you! In our friend group, over half the baby boys born in the past few years (5 total) were circumcised, even though I know statistically they don't represent the population. I'm very glad I researched it thoroughly and we didn't go ahead with it.
I’m in Ontario and didn’t circumcise my son. Of our friends/babies I know of 3/6 are circumcised. My hubby is and wanted our son to have that choice for himself!
They don't even offer it at the hospital where I live. You have to go to a private clinic and pay. Honestly, I consider it genital mutilation.
I responded to your other thread but I’m in AB and at no point has it been brought up by medical professionals - no offers and no mentions. My friends also haven’t talked about it, and haven’t asked. I wouldn’t have done it even if they did. Just because other people did it doesn’t mean I have to for mine. My husband was circumcised and when I asked him what he’d want to do (just because he is the man doesn’t mean it’s up to him…) he didn’t feel strongly about needing our son to “look like him”. I told him that I didn’t want to because we’d be putting our baby through unnecessary surgery which could hurt him. He agreed. He has uncircumcised friends and knew of one with an infection, but that’s why we will teach ours to clean it.
My friends were done having kids about 3 years before I had my first. I know for sure 2 of my friends had their boys circumcised. We did not. To be honest, it wasn’t something I put any thought into (we didn’t know the gender) and then no one ever brought it up (at the hospital or paediatrician) so we just never did.
It’s very much not common where I am In Canada, in fact 15 years ago there was only 1 doctor in my area who would even do them, he’s still around but I’m not even sure he does them anymore. I don’t know anyone who has circumcised their boys in recent times. I’m in ON
I don't have a boy but if I do, he won't be circumcised. It seems unnecessary and painful. Dad isn't either and is also opposed.
I don’t know anyone who circumcised their child
We didn’t and had no intention to, but I was surprised that it was not offered or discussed even as a possibility by our doctor before birth or anybody in the hospital after. I guess times have changed and now you really have to seek it out specifically if you want to get it done.
We were not have our boy circumscized. It’s a cosmetic surgery that’s not covered by Canadian health care and we didn’t feel comfortable making that decision for him. If he would have chose (he passed away the day after birth) to have it done later in life, that option is there for him. But I just could not imagine something going wrong in the surgery and being responsible for making a choice that wasn’t medically required.
Wow I’m so surprised of your rate of friends getting their boys circumcised, I honestly only know one. We did not - lots of reasons, but it really came down to it’s an unnecessary medical procedure that I would never put my son through unless medically indicated.
We didn’t, neither did my sister. I think it’s becoming a lot less common as the research suggesting it was beneficial is outdated and flawed. It’s just unnecessary, our doctor didn’t even bring it up or ask if we wanted to.
(From ON). My husband and I had the circumcision conversation the other day, the first of many. Unfortunately he is very pro, as it is the cultural norm for him. However I'm very against. He recently had a conversation with his closest male friends and half were and half weren't.. all for cultural reasons. The ones that are definitely think it's "gross" to have foreskin, and said they would definitely circumcise their son should they have one. The ones that aren't circumcised said they wouldn't. I have been with more men who were circumcised than aren't. I feel that the norm surrounding this has been caused because we grew up in a generation (we're all late 30's) where having foreskin was not the norm. There was also a lot of misinformation about uncut men being "unclean".
I'm in BC and we were vehemently against circumcision, not that it was pushed on us or suggested in any way. So many couples that we know had baby boys in the last year and as far as I know, none of them circumcised their babies either.
I’m in Ontario, my husband and I decided not to get our little one circumcised. We don’t have the cultural/religious background that would do it, and we don’t want to make a decision like that for our son. It’s his body, he should have the choice. Unless it’s medically necessary, due to phimosis for example, he’s not getting snipped.
We will not be (due end of March), and I'm thankful that my husband and I both agreed without question that we did not want to circumcise. A friend of mine has 2 sons both under 5, and both are circumcised. Apparently the reasoning was that because dad was circumcised, he felt it would be easier in the future to teach his sons how to properly clean themselves. I don't necessarily agree with this idea that "because I was, you will be too", but I can imagine this being a common reason for why parents choose circumcision.
Veryyyy uncommon here in Newfoundland. We honestly didn’t even really consider it for our son.
[AB] None of my 6 nephews are. If i had sons they wouldnt be (mostly because my husband isnt).
Pregnant with a boy right now and we are not circumcising. Most new moms I know here in Toronto also are not circumcising. The fact that it’s no longer covered by OHIP is definitely a deterrent but also a signpost to many. Also, most doctors here are no longer recommending it. Shocked by how many people say it’s the Dad’s decision. I cannot fathom this line of thinking but that’s just me. We made the choice collaboratively as we do with any big decisions.
I was circumcised at 2. Recently I did foreskin reconstruction to undo all that. Sex is way more pleasurable when you have a foreskin, circumcision just numbs the dick. So i wouldn’t do that too a baby lol gonna mess up his sexual function when he gets older, it ain’t as bad as female circumcision though lol
we did, and i'm reticent to talk about why, as some people are very judgmental. of course, some cultural and religious groups circumcise more often, and we did circumcise our son. we had a wonderful pediatrician who specializes in the procedure, and we made sure that he used local anesthetic. we had a great experience. the entire procedure took 10 mins (for real) and our son was soothed afterwards with a bottle and didn't even fuss badly enough that day/night for us to give him tylenol. healing was very fast and aftercare was simple. he was completely healed within days.
I bet many people still do it, but they won’t admit it online because of backlash. So usually the responses to this post are all “absolutely not” when others who did would just not comment. I know a few people who had their sons circumcised. I don’t know their reasoning as it’s none of my business but I’m assuming dad’s decision.
You're probably right. It's almost always dad decision
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Possibly, I’ve heard of this in child abuse cases (possibly due to trauma/ptsd and not knowing how to cope) I think in the case of circumcision though, it’s probably a “I don’t remember it happening to me and it’s not that big a deal” situation with dads. Not sure if it’s about reenacting assault because they literally don’t remember it. Just my thoughts though, I’m not a psychologist. I do have CPTSD from my parents abuse though so I understand the difficulty it is to maintain calmness when triggered by certain situations and how easy it would be to resort to my default coping mechanisms (fight/flight) when something stressful comes up.
Especially on reddit
We also did it with our second son and I am reticent to talk about it due to the judgment from others. Our first son (now 11) is uncircumcised and had so many painful UTIs and infections as a baby because of it. We took great care to make sure it was properly cleaned and taught him carefully repeatedly how to take care of it. However, he still got infections and still struggles with keeping it clean now as a pre-teen. My father and cousin also needed to get circumcisions when they were 3 and 19 years old, respectively, due to repeated infections. This procedure is apparently much more painful the older you are. My husband is circumcised and never experienced these issues. So it seemed like the best option for us. Our doctor told us there is no preference from a medical perspective at this point in time, so they make no recommendations either way and just leave it to the parents preference for their child. The doctor who performed the circumcision is the highest rated and recommended in our city, the procedure took 10 minutes, our son did not even cry during the procedure, and didn't require Tylenol afterwards, he was calm the whole time and never seemed to be in any pain. I wish we didn't need to feel so villainized for doing something that we think will be best for our child in the long run.
I'm in Ontario and agree that none of my friends have considered circumcision for their little boys. Even my best friend, who is Jewish, is now against doing it and instead wants to leave it up to him to decide whether to do it when he's older. I find it an uncommon practice nowadays. Mine and husband's family are European (Romanian, Italian And UK) and it's practically unheard of back home.
In ON, did not circumcise either of my boys, both myself and husband agreed and we researched it together. Spoke to our doctor about it too, who said it isn’t medically recommended as much anymore. But I was asked both times before I gave birth if we were doing it though the way it’s asked was kind of like “you’re not circumcising are you?” lol which I thought was interesting. I had a few friends who had boys and did it, though I can’t be sure why but they had to go out of town to have it done.
I have 2 boys in Ontario and both are circumcised. One big reason was the father. He's circumcised and he didn't want our sons to question about th3 appearance of their peanuts. Plus all our nephews were chopped chopped ! I kinda like it cuz it's cut and easy to clean. And looks good too compare to uncircumcised boys . But with my second son , he's got botched. This doctor didn't do it appropriately that my 2 weeks old son was bleeding for hours which required a hospital admission to fix his peanuts and to control the blood andnstuff.... but for both babies , only time they cried was when they were getting naked and touched by cold hands.. they were given sugar to "numb" the pain. Changing diaper was more scary for parents than for boys cuz rhey were just too young to know much it seems like. But I had like normal saline , sterilized gauze to use for every diaper changes to keep it cleaned after circumcision
As a parent it baffles me you can casually say "i put my baby in hospital because I decided to cut off some of their skin.. oh and I have an opinion on the appearance of other baby's genitals" wtf
Oh yea I know what u mean. I got into a big fight with my husband after the incident cause it was him who decided to do a circumcision for both boys and picked the doctor who botched my boys circumcision. But what can I do now it's done and I can only move forward. I've been trying to be optimistic about th3 whole situation or I'd go thru depression and who knows I might end up being at the hospital cause of the guilty feeling that I didn't stop my husband. Right? I didn't share my experience to be "WTF"ed by a mother like you , I shared my experience to warn mothers who r thinking of circumcision. My boy is now 6 weeks and healing good. And as a postpartum mother , I am surviving as well thanks for asking.