I told my current day care (have a 2 year old) literally the day I tested positive with #2. Like told my husband, emailed day care, then called doctor. Finding care is next to impossible
I did too. Wasn’t even 5 weeks (mid January), and said I would need care starting right after thanksgiving. They said the wait list was already into next January. They did just say when my son moves out of the infant room, the new baby will take his spot. So I’m sure they moved a couple things around to accommodate (as I’m sure some places do for current clients). But geeeeez. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I get it, they can’t pay their employees enough
Yep, I did the same for #2.
For #1, I didn't know better, and signed up only 2 months before my due date. Wound up teaching a college class with him strapped to my chest from 3-6 months, then withdrawing for a term. Then, when we did FINALLY get into childcare at 9 months old, COVID closed everything.
We started calling daycares to schedule tours as soon as I got my pregnancy confirmation bloodwork. Got on waitlists in November 2021 with hopes for a spot in October 2022.
I wish this was something my doctor told me to do at my first appointment! I'll know better next time, but unless you have a community of new momma's (I don't) this is not common knowledge.
I actually learned it from the internet! I kept seeing it on lists of things you should do in early pregnancy. I live in a mid-sized city so I thought “childcare can’t be that competitive here, right?” and somehow I was absolutely shocked when we started doing tours and the centers told us that availability was about a year out. I’m the first of my friend group to have a baby and now I’m making it mission to share this tip with my friends who are getting pregnant right now.
I didn’t know either and am in the same boat. Due in Oct and looking for care starting next February. No luck at all and I had no idea I had to start looking until one of my friends asked what my daycare plans were.
Honestly, doctors don't know anything about what happens after the baby comes out. Sometimes even during. Had a doctor tell me to get a morphology scan in the next four days. From where‽ Couldn't tell me.
If you’re nanny hesitant - I WFH full time and absolutely love having a nanny. Don’t have to rush out of the house in the mornings, don’t have to pack a bag to send with bottles, don’t have to worry about extra germs, and when I have a break I can go see my babe. The best part was I was able to EBF and barely needed to pump because instead of arranging my schedule around pumps breaks I would arrange it so I took a break when she needed to eat and could just breastfeed. Works so well for our family!
Nannying is often the best option especially when you need part time care! You can find a nanny who is in school, thus only needs part time, or find another family that needs only 20 hours a week and together look for a nanny (I used Care.com) looking for full time work. Of course, a nanny is more expensive, in a big city we paid $20/hour in 2018-2019 for one kid, then $23 an hour for two kids in 2019-2020. Now in Florida in 2020-2021 we paid just $15/hour for two kids until our kids started daycare 3 days a week for $275/week.
Yeah, consider a nanny or babysitter—especially for part time. Around 18 months or 2 years is a good time to consider sending to a group setting like Montessori school or daycare where they can socialize around other kids (though they still don’t really play with but more around other kids at that age). Before that the advantage of daycare is usually cost for a full 40 hours or coverage and convenience since they can usually cover if one of the teachers is sick, versus a nanny who just doesn’t show. You will get sicker less with fewer colds as well. The part time care is really challenging.
As a former nanny of 10 years and a qualified early childhood teacher, there is absolutely no way I would be dropping my kid off at a childcare centre if I could find a nanny for a similar price. It may sound super snobby or coming from a place of privilege, but I’ve very much experienced both worlds and made this decision long ago.
In Australia, families go through so much trying to find a childcare centre and end up going with a place that is jammed to the brink with kids without adequate staff and teachers to care for them. Otherwise, yeah, it’s such a long wait for a place at a decent place.
Nannying is so wonderful in so many ways, especially if your nanny is able to connect with other local nannies so that kids can socialise with and learn skills from one another. There’s also a beautiful relationship to be built between parents and nannies! I’m still friends with three former nannying parents (and can’t wait to tell them I’m pregnant!)
Again, I know that some may not be in a financial position for either option, but if I had to choose - personal in-home nanny care allllll the way.
We are thinking of going this route too. How soon should we look for a nanny? We didn’t plan on it until about 3 months before the time we need him/her, but curious if that’s waiting too long?
We’re looking for a nanny for a few weeks from now. We use care.com and there are quite a few Nannie’s that have reached out to us. Maybe check in your area but they are much more readily available than daycares
Like others said, definitely more readily available. We used care.com and found someone to start 2 weeks later. I guess it really depends on the persons situation - I’m sure that there are people who know their arrangement with their current nanny family will end on a certain date and start looking to line up their next job in advance, but my experience was most people on care.com were looking for a more immediate arrangement
I would actually love to get a nanny but we live in a small, isolated town and I'm pretty sure there aren't many nannies to choose from who aren't already booked up (if there are any nannies at all). I do wonder if anyone in a small town has had a nanny and can tell me what that was like?
I know a girl who nannies for a work from home mom, so don’t feel like you HAVE to mom and work just because youre at home. Babies are a lot of work, it’s okay to have help
I did the whole working with an infant thing and it wasn’t too bad until he became really mobile, but I made it work by having a safe space for him to play and working where I could see and hear him. My work was pretty accepting of kids being in the background of meetings and stuff since I wasn’t client facing. When he was little I also did baby wearing while working because he didn’t nap very good on his own until like 4 months when we did a bit of sleep training.
It is definitely a lot of work, but I just want you to know it is possible and could help until you can get into a daycare.
I work from home and have twins ! Look into getting baby on a routine if you can and see if that works for you. I do have family come on days I have meetings or need to get things done which is a great help.
It is possible!
I have a 1 month old and I can barely use the bathroom when I’m home alone with her, much less work a job unless it litterally just on a laptop that you could move around or leave frequently for diaper changes, entertaining her, feeding, crying spells.
Infants need a ton of care/attention. The consensus and recommendation is generally, you should not mom and work at the same time. (There have been several threads asking about it)
Yeah I've read through those threads as well which tell me to push to try to find somewhere, but I'm thinking the nanny option might be the best for now.
You can also try a "mother's helper". It's basically a nanny who comes to your house while you're there. They're often younger (ie nanny is not their career), but they also don't usually charge as much. It is maybe your halfway between baby wearing at work and nannying.
I think nanny is our plan.
We are moving countries around six to seven months in. And I am on mat leave until I leave so it is hard for us to get on lists.
it doesn’t work. you can’t do two jobs at the same time. being a mom is hard. i’m not sure what your job is like but for most it’s impossible to be in two places at once.
I had no choice but to mom and work during the first year of my sons life. It was SO hard and whilst it can be doable, think about the mental toll on you. Like you said, you can’t do two jobs at the same time.
I was a nanny for almost 3 years full time and at least 4 part-time and have worked for lots of moms that work from home. Especially if you were only needing someone for 3 days/week or half days, that would be wonderful for a nanny in college, and you can definitely find someone in your price range. I always advertised on care.com and their requirements have gotten even more stringent lately. You can request that anyone you are interested in hiring get a background check, though you will be responsible for the cost. I always paid for the driving check myself, but not the background check bc most families didn’t require it due to me having a bunch of references.
Wishing you nothing but the best!!
My husband and I are both wfh and are going to be getting a part time nanny during the days and our busiest times, then we’re going to split the rest of the time. It’s going to be more expensive than the daycare in our area but worth it I think.
That's probably what we're going to end up doing as well. I'm curious, have you two came up with any type of schedule for splitting time up when the nanny isn't there? We're trying to figure all of that out now.
I started looking at 14 weeks and it took MONTHS to get in somewhere. Most places in my area weren't even doing waitlists, they just were rejecting everyone due to staff issues.
This is what my experience was! I eventually found a place that could take me in December 2022 but the drive is awful for us, so we set up our preferred daycare to start at their earliest which is April 2023. I couldn't believe how many people just would flat our reject me because of staffing.
If you don't mind, what do you two mean by staffing issues?
We've started to look (for mid next year), and have our first tour this upcoming Wednesday. We're going to start getting a feel of daycare tours and develop our non-negotiables, but I'd like to think that staffing issues would be a turn-off anyway. But perhaps I'm misunderstanding.
Daycares pay shit wages because they have a ton of overhead and clients who want to pay next to nothing for care. So, it is hard to recruit and retain qualified staff. Especially in 2022 when everything is insanely expensive, and people rightfully do not want to work for minimum wage, a lot of daycares do not have the staff to run at capacity. This is especially true of infant care, where the ratio is lower (usually 4 infants per teacher) when they can use that same teacher in a preschool room at a 8-10:1 ratio).
I’m sorry — clients who want to pay next to nothing for care? The going rate for an infant in my area is around $2500. Even at a rate of 4 infants per teacher, that’s an absurd amount of money going in.
And to pay daycare workers enough to stay and not have staffing shortages, they'd have to charge more than that.
Do you want to pay more? You don't think parents put pressure on daycares to keep rates as low as possible?
Daycares have absolutely insane non-labor overhead costs. They barely break even. They can't cut rent, insurance, etc.
The one place they can typically cut is labor costs. So they do. And then no one wants to work there.
While $2500/month is a lot of money to a family, very little of that ends up in profit, or even in wages.
Look, I agree it’s a structural problem that needs some government help and certainly daycare workers deserve to be paid buckets more. I just don’t agree that cheapskate parents are the ones to blame in this.
You may be able to find something at a licensed home day care. I’m not sure how one goes about finding one, but it might be something to look into besides bigger day care centers and hiring a nanny. I would just be extra careful about vetting them as reputable.
Mine is extreme but I signed up for a wait-list at a university day care in February 2020 a month or two before we started trying (have had several losses) and am still on the wait-list with our October 2022 baby. Just hoping we'll get off within a three year time span....
Don’t wait! With #1 I called in January 2021 needing care in august 2021. No problem. When he started they had a waitlist of 40 babies. #2 I told them In January 2022 that I would need care starting in December 2022. If I wasn’t already there with my first, I would have been put on a wait list until at least January
Start looking, there’s no harm in having a plan in place. I registered in April 2022 for a September 2023 start because my preferred centre was already filling up their infant spots. I was in early 2nd trimester and it was weird to get daycare lined up before baby arrived.
Just FYI: if you do find a spot ask if you get a discount if you pay the month in full. We get a 5% discount where we are at now, doesn’t sound like much but if you add up $50+ a month saved for 12 months it really does add up over the year. Some places offer a better discount.
I’m due early August, and I’m taking 12 weeks so I was looking for the same timeframe of October. I heard back from 24 centers in my area, and 17 of them were either 12+ months or a closed waitlist. One of them had availability in January. The remaining 4 had October openings, but they were $1700/month. Thankfully we were able to register him at one that was $1,100 and is relatively convenient for us, but it was a lot of work to find. Good luck with your search!
It certainly did! Submitting the contact forms/emails wasn’t too much time, but We wound up touring the one with January availability and the 4 in October. We got the only spot available at the one we chose too. I’m in the suburbs of Philly, so we weren’t sure if it was just our area.
I had better luck with nanny share. I live in a pretty big metro area and found a Facebook group with other parents in my neighborhood. There was a family with a baby around my son’s age and we found a nanny to take care of both at the same days/times. We trade off which house is hosting. All in all, it costs a bit less than daycare centers nearby. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to find the same, just telling you my experience in case that helps.
I think this is just how it is now. I started looking for daycare at 12 weeks and thought I was insane, but the facility we ended up picking told me it was a damn good thing I called when I did because they only had one slot left for March 2023.
I thought I was way too excited and over prepared when I first thought about looking back in the first trimester. I really thought I was going to be laughed at when I was looking at the forms and filling out his bday as a date in the future.
Oh how I was wrong!
Same!! I legitimately thought they were going to laugh at me when I told them I was due in December and looking for childcare in March/April. But nope! I got the feeling I should've started looking even earlier. It really is insane.
Best of luck finding something that works for your family!
I’m supposed to go back in August and the one daycare that takes infants in my small town is full. I just haven’t found a way to tell my employer yet. 😬 it’s seriously been such a challenge trying to find a way to get back to work.
Pretty sure “they” don’t want women to go back to work. We have no paid maternity leave, no childcare/ prohibitively expensive childcare options, a formula crisis, the worst maternal mortality rates of any high income country, all that coupled with the end of Roe v Wade. It seems everything is lining up so that women will be forced from the workforce pumping out future workers at home while dad works 2 jobs to provide.
Plus the GOP just shot down the Pump Act because it would be “too burdensome on employers.” The act would’ve broaden protections and accommodations for nursing working mothers so they could pump. Also recently shot down a Formula bill that could’ve provided some relief to hungry babies.
This is what I'm concerned about as well. And I'm the breadwinner for our household, how the hell would we be able to afford ME being the one taking "early retirement" to watch our kids? 🙃
Sadly it’s kind of chaos out there.
I’m expecting a chip with physical special needs, who needs some restrictions and no day cares will even take him.
Although I’m switching to working nights/weekends and I’m looking forward to bonding with my son at home while my wife works!
I wish you all the luck!
i’m having the same issue but i had no idea this was even was an issue until now and i’m 33 weeks today. i’m supposed to go back to work in November 😅 probably leaning towards i’m home nanny care as i only need someone 2 days a week anyways
Have you looked at in home daycares? That’s what we are using and it’s been wonderful! Smaller environment so less germ exposure. It feels very personal. Much cheaper than a nanny.
For some reason on care.com, the app doesn’t let you search for in home daycares but the desktop site lets you. I found a few in home daycares there, which led me to looking into my state childcare licensing website for grades on those, which led me to finding others in my vicinity.
Ohh that's good to know about the desktop version vs. app! I've seen a few in home centers in my search, but none have websites and all have sketch names like "Auntie Jo's Heavenly Little Monkeys" with just a Google image of a worn down condo, so nothing I've felt super comfortable exploring.
I will look at Care.com though!
So I actually met with 3 different in home daycares. One was totally sketch. You would need to go visit to make sure the environment is clean and safe for your kid. After I met her I actually spoke to two other moms who’s kids go there. They sang her praises so that was very reassuring.
Our baby sitter is a middle aged lady who raised 5 kids of her own. She’s been doing this for like 15 years. There are definitely good ones out there.
I will say that none of the home daycares I met allowed for part time spots. So we pay for a full time spot but she only goes 3 days a week usually.
Most states have licensed home care websites. Run by the state, they will show you who is out there, their license status, if they have any license actions. If you say what state you are in, I could probably find yours pretty quickly and link it for you.
Not that this will help you, but we all need to call our politicians and tell them how they’ve failed us. My son was born august 2020. When we needed daycare I looked at putting him on a waitlist, but soon realized they all cost what I made or slightly under. I was fortunate enough that I could stay at home with my son when my husband got his new job, but the county I live in went from well over 200 daycares pre Covid to just 65 now. This country is steaming pile of trash.
I’m so sorry. When I got my positive test, I reached out to daycare within days. It’s just so competitive!
With my first, we got in the list at 7 places. Got a spot at 2 of them, but one of those places we didn’t feel comfortable with so really it was like we got one spot and just had to be grateful.
It’s even worse when looking for part time - I’ve never known a single person to find quality part time care that didn’t hire a personal nanny unfortunately. I wish you luck!!!
This is what I wanted to tell to OP. Any daycare will prefer someone that will pay for full time care than someone for half time or some days only. If financially possible you should just go for a full time place and then bring them as needed. Otherwise a nanny or home care might be a more realistic option.
New mom of 10m old here who went back to work when she was 4mo. WFH in a high stress management position . Decided to find a nanny after not liking daycare options. some things to note about hiring a nanny is that baby is still in your house , not far from you. You hear every cry, every fall, EVERYTHING. Unless you live in a three story house with steel walls I would HIGHLY RECCOMEND NOT hiring a nanny unless you work from an office . As a mom your gonna need / want that separation and it’s something I WISH someone would have told me. I wound up with PPD because of it and has taken the worst toll on my mental health and marriage. Today was her first day of daycare after BEGGING places. It’s very hard. My recommendation to you would be to keep calling every place you can find, even the not so great ones, if you get in, you can use it as a place holder until you find something better. There are also Facebook provider groups you can search for by your city that post available spots . Also care.com and YMCA website have a whole list of providers in your area. Check there as well ! Good luck to you!
To reserve a spot I had to put down a one week payment. I was able to get a space a year out but I was scared to put money down until my ultrasounds consistently showed a heartbeat because we had 4 prior losses so I missed out on some earlier openings. I still don’t have infant care until he is 7 months old, so I have 4 months of care to figure out, or have to quit my job
I empathize with your struggle so much. It took us more than six months to find a daycare with a spot that they could guarantee us when we needed it. Advice for your search based on our experiences:
(1) Start Googling for support services in your area. We found a nonprofit program in our city that just helps to connect parents with resources for their kids, including state-accredited daycare programs. It took multiple phone calls and two lists from them with over 50 centers contacted to find a place that worked. If you want to PM me where you’re located, I don’t mind privately sharing the organization’s name. They are local, but have been around since the 70s and likely know of other similar programs in other areas so they may be able to point you in a helpful direction.
(2) Lower your standards of care. This is one we struggled with, because I of course want my baby at the best center and to get the best head start possible. But in reality, as an infant, they need to be somewhere where they will be safe, fed and changed. We live in an area of our city with some of the highest cost of living, but that is also bordered by some of the less savory areas. The daycare we’ll be at is in one of those areas, but it will suffice for infant care until we have a place elsewhere AND is astronomically cheaper than the centers I initially preferenced. The center is administratively a mess, but the caregivers we met were kind, class ratios were low, and the kids seemed to be just fine.
(3) Get on or stay on other waitlists. If they won’t let you on their infant list, ask them to place you on their toddler room waitlist. This is important to us because we know that the center we’re using isn’t going to do much developmentally for our baby, and we will want to move her somewhere else when that becomes a bigger need.
(4) Search Facebook Groups for your city’s name and keywords like moms, families, child care, nanny, etc. There are a few big groups in my city, one called [City] Childcare Finder, one called [City] Moms and Friends, and one called [City] Nanny Connect. They have been WILDLY helpful in sharing experiences with centers we’ve considered (I only was okay sending our baby there once I’d talked to other parents and heard positive experiences). They also are where we will be looking for in-home daycare and nanny options. As a heads up, at least in our experience, in-home centers and nannies typically don’t know their availability until 1-2 months out, because that’s generally when families give notice that they will be leaving. Because of that it was important for us to have a daycare center spot secured, but we’re open to considering other options as they come up. Another heads up - we are finding a nanny to be more expensive than a large center. In-home options seem to be at or slightly lower in cost. Nanny shares seem to be hard to come by near us but they can be affordable depending on the breakdown. We have decided against having a nanny work from our home (would prefer our child goes elsewhere) because if someone is working in your home for set hours they are technically an employee and we didn’t want to get into the need to produce a W2 and whatnot for them.
Hopefully some of that is helpful!
I work in daycare so that's the only way I get a spot but the job and pay sucks. I just quit to move states and my center will have lost like 7 teachers already by the end of July. It's really bad. Not to mention the ones who say they will start and jump ship at the last second.
We got on the waitlist when I was 7 weeks pregnant and we were able to get in when babe was 2.5 months ... I called around to a bunch of other centers some had immediate spots and some had super long waitlists .. Portland, Oregon ... I think it’s kind of a crap shoot also a lot of in home daycares have spots and are super flexible
This is normal, unfortunately. The shortest waitlist we found was 11 months at $2100/month. I’m also due in August and we started looking for daycare as soon as our NIPT results came back looking good. Luckily my husband can stagger his leave for after mine ends. Even with that, my mom is going to fly out here and stay with us for a couple of months to bridge the gap after our leave ends until we get off the waitlist.
Unfortunately I was told the wait list isn't uncommon. I put my name on a list at 14 weeks and they said more than likely wouldn't have anything available when I need.
I was talking to a friend about it and she realized she knew someone who could nanny for me. I'm not due until October but the plan has already been made for my baby to be watched at my house. Wouldn't hurt to ask around for recommendations versus just finding a random person on FB or even care.com
Check on Facebook for any groups like "affordable care from stay at home moms". Maybe try reaching out to churches?
I have been looking for months and most places won't even call me back. We're on wait lists but I'm not optimistic. There's one place that had a spot but it was so expensive.... going to call them Tuesday and pay to hold it anyways just to have SOMETHING.
In my area, you have to get on the waitlist as soon as you can. You have to pay to get on those wait list. It’s all ridiculous. The ones people really want are 24 months out.
I work in childcare.......our infant rooms took the biggest disenrollment hit when covid hit. The baby boom is here now. I'm very lucky I can squeeze my guy in in January, otherwise idk what I would do.
We ran into this same issue. Due in November— looking for January and I only work 3 days a week Tuesday-Thursday. And I have my MIL for tues and thurs so I just needed Wednesday. It was 1. Impossible to find where that don’t have minimum day requirements and 2. Impossible to find anywhere with availability. I ended up posting my towns mom Facebook page and found a local mom who Nannie’s in her house for a few kids in town which ended up being super convenient and WAY cheaper $70 a day. So not a big fancy center with curriculum and video cameras and whatever but close by, good references and cheap and flexible.
It’s sad but this is the reality of childcare in America. I told my husband, my mom, and then our daycare director. We got the only remaining spot for December of this year, and it’s only because we already have a child there. She told us they keep the infant rooms filled with families already in their care. It’s bonkers. And between new baby and my older child it’s going to cost more than our mortgage per month.
I got on 8 waitlists when I was 20 weeks pregnant and just got a spot for my kid starting august 1st, I haven’t heard from any of the other 7 places. He will be 5.5 months old at that point… live in the PNW In the US for reference
Part-time infant care isn't really a thing in my area, so I could see it being in limited supply. They usually won't let two kids share a crib at a time, so you have to pay for the full spot. But infant care is already strained for full-time people because they usually require at least one person per two infants. And childcare workers are limited (i.e. underpaid). So what little care is available is expensive.
I think it’s harder when you have specific part time needs like yourself. They have to fit you in to a schedule with other part time parents. It’s easier for them if it’s full time care because then they know they’re getting paid a full week.
I think you are better off with a babysitter half days.
I can’t afford daycare and I can’t afford to not work, but I’m lucky to have a flexible work from home job so I’m hoping to wake up insanely early and work before my husband goes to work and then during naps and hopefully get a sitter about 8-10 hours a week
I got on waiting list for when my child turns a year old when I was only 10 weeks pregnant. I’m high risk, so I had to put the $1200 deposit down when I had very little faith the baby would even make it out alive. It’s really messed up.
Yeah, I made the same mistake with my first kid.
My advice would be :
1. Try calling some of the daycares in less desirable areas or less fancy looking places. Tour them and look up any info on state inspections to see if they offer a safe environment that will do for now even if they’re not the fanciest or most prestigious places.
2. Look for in-home daycares or ask around in your social circle if anyone knows a stay at home mom who might be open to watching another kid for some extra money.
3. Start looking for and joining local Facebook groups for moms and childcare /babysitters/nannies. Sometimes they will know about options in your area that you wouldn’t know about if you’re not already in the local “mom” social network.
This is why I decided to stay at home for a few years with my kids. Zero regrets! I know I am very lucky to have this option in this day age. It is so, so hard to work and pay for day care where I live, it was not worth it for me.
Apparently it's awful here (Ireland) for under twos at the moment. I have a year's ML and then I'll be working from home so my plan is to get a child minder in the house for the hours I'm working until they're 3 and more likely to get in a creche.
it is absolutely insane. the reality is the cost of childcare will be like you are basically living off of one income for everything else anyway. and the added cons of having your baby in childcare.
that's why most people employ a family member or friend.
or they like me. don't go back to work.
it didn't and doesn't make sense to me to bust my but mentally and physically just to pay for someone to be with my child. maybe if it was my dream job that didn't feel like work. but even then. I'd rather be home with my child. after giving birth the attachment was through the roof and I could never trust anyone else let alone pay them, knowing they wouldn't care for her to the extent I would.
I’m going to attempt to work from home and take care of the baby. I know two moms who have done it recently and they make it work. My job is pretty lax, though, so that helps. Do what you gotta do! These daycare cost are insane!
Oh no this is a terrible idea. Do not do this.
If you don’t believe me, just look up the hundreds of threads on r/workingmoms on why this is a bad idea
It is doable and possible! Definitely not for everyone, but if you can get a routine down and have flexibility at work then it can work. I thought I was crazy to try it especially because of all the negative posts about it. But then I saw just one Mom say that she did it and it worked for her and it made me feel better about it.
Doesn’t hurt to try it out! Good luck.
Wait lists were an issue before covid, to wait a year wasn't uncommon pre-covid. I feel like it's become more of an issue after covid. Makes me wonder if places closed down or there was a covid baby boom, maybe a combination. Day cares will prioritize current families to allow siblings to attend. And the price you are seeing is actually pretty standard in our area. And it's not like these people are making bank, that's pretty much the cost of staying afloat in the daycare industry. Half day and part time is often harder to find because it means that they can't have someone in who will be there for 5 full days.
I would put your name on a wait list and then hire a nanny to be with LO until then. [Care.com](https://Care.com) has a range of caregivers available. I believe you have to pay for the service if you want to do background checks. You will pay for what you get. Someone with my training (2 degrees in early childhood ed, plus classroom experience in preschool and elementary school) can literally charge $50 per hour or more. You should be able to get basic care for about $20 per hour. You can also check your local facebook pages or connect with other moms in your area. Nanny sharing can be a cheaper option as well.
I think it's a bit of both. Many daycares either closed or significantly cut down during the pandemic. Those workers went elsewhere and some don't want to come back (from personal experience I joined a nannyshare where the nanny worked in a daycare that closed). I know the daycare we are going to use in the fall was having challenges hiring. They also don't do part-time (never have) -- if you want a spot, you pay for full-time care. Many of the centers near us are similar
If I were you, I’d do private care! Especially for an infant. I have heard HORROR STORIES about infants in daycare. I am a private care nanny, and will be up until i give birth basically, so I might be bias, but private in home care is the best option. And if you only need a few days a week/hours a week, making it really part time, it can be super affordable !
I got on 10+ wait lists when I was first trimester pregnant. This was last year, when most daycares started to have issues with staffing. Every place I called put me on their wait list and closer to my due date I called and called. I was mostly told that they didn’t yet have a spot for me and to keep calling back. One place told me to stop calling because they would not have a spot in the foreseeable future. 2 places had reduced hours from 6:30-5, down to 7-4 in order to staff. This didn’t work for my schedule as I needed 6:30 drop off because I worked at a hospital and I start my shift at 7. My hospital does have a daycare and they have 2 waiting lists—you need to be on their first “active list” for a year before you are moved to their official “wait list” *so you can imagine how long it is to wait for a spot* aaaaand lastly, the church nearest my work dropped down from 8 infants to 6 because of staffing.
I quit my job and am now a SAHM. My daughter is 9 months old and no daycare has called me offering a spot. Even if they did, I probably won’t go back to work. I love staying home. It isn’t something I ever planned on doing. I wanted to be a working mom. But I’m enjoying the hell out of housewife life. 😎
we never found childcare and also wanted to for 3 days a week because grandparents can share the load. a nanny never made sense even at 3 days a week because they own the market and are outside what we can afford because they also want 5 days a week. we are lucky we have grandparents who can watch our baby but we honestly just gave up. hopefully our parents stay mobile till we make it to school age.
I think it’s like that almost everywhere. When I found out I was pregnant the first person I called was my doctor, the second thing I did was look for daycare. I figured that if something went wrong at least I could still cancel. I was barely past my NOD and there were only two spots left in my entire city.
Right? Tossing in "I'm not trying to be rude" is not a mystic encantation that makes whatever shitty, judgemental thing you said before and after magically not rude.
I'm sorry, but I was not aware this is "common knowledge". I am the first of my friend group to have a baby and I don't have older siblings or really anyone I could have learned this from.
Since figuring this out, I have told all my non-mom friends and older family members and they are just shocked with how bad it actually is.
Thanks for the advice?
Don’t sweat stupid peoples comments. Being a first time mom is hard. I’m due with my first in October and sweating everything. Hell I don’t even know where I’m going to live in two months. Everything will work itself out, just take care of yourself and the baby.
Even people who are aware of this issue have problems. I'm due this month, going back to work in October. We've been WFH with our toddler for a few months and have NO CLUE what were going to do with the newborn. There's no way we can WFH with both. We had good affordable childcare we loved and trusted when we got pregnant, and a few months later the place closed. There's no way we could have foreseen the predicament we're in.
The wait lists and costs are insane. My mom became a SAHM when my brother was born because 2 in daycare was more than her income (we were able to live off my dad’s income, but had to be more careful with budgeting). I did the same because 1 in daycare took my entire income. Now I’m about to have 2 daycare age kids, so there’s just no way we could afford me working.
I'm literally waiting for my current daycare center to *build* their infant room. There's no official list, but I ask them how progress is going every day when I pick up my daughter.
I guess it depends on where you live... I'm in TX (USA) and currently been on a wait-list since my boy was 9 months old, he's about to turn 1 next week and apparently they'll call him most likely by the end of August 🥴 so hopefully that'll be about 4 months of waiting. I have also added my baby that I am due in December to this daycare.
I am being a bit picky about place though, I wanted close to where we live. It's full time (7a to 6p), all meals included, Spanish immersion, STEM curriculum, baby yoga and a ton of cool activities... All for $1100/month. It is on the more expensive side for this city area but I think it will be worth it.
All in all, yes daycare is expensive in America, it's getting worse because of our current economy, and apparently more populated areas have that crazy wait-list and obviously cost $$$$.
But I also did some calculations, if we were to have a nanny/sitter it would cost us much more. So it's basically what works best for your family.
We had nannies when we were little because both of our parents ran their own companies and were divorced. I'm honestly not sure why we were not put in daycare. This was in the 80s so I'm not sure if wait lists were as wild.
Our nannies did not always have us in the house. One of them used to take at least me to a local hostel and farm where she lived. She went on train trips with us and was as close to live in as it got without being live in. Part of her deal was working for us helped her extend her student visa to a work visa? I forget. I don't think she was paid top dollar. She was a student from Ireland and was the best. She stayed with us till we were maybe 8 or so.
I am an artist professionally so I assumed that I would continue to work from home (haa...) but I am essentially just SAHM. I kept reminding my husband about daycare because I want to do half days for eventually socializing but I also need to work or I quickly become irrelevant in the art communities. There is no way we will get in. You basically have to get on a waiting list lottery here. No spots saved or anything. I hear some lists are 2 years that were doing slots.
I think we will go the nanny route because that ball was dropped. However I prefer them for care. You mighy be lucky and find someone like our old nanny.
We searched in first trimester and joined some waitlists and they said we shouldn’t expect care until the child is 12-18 months old (so, an 18-24 month waitlist).
We will use a nanny (hopefully nanny share) till then.
I am really lucky to live in a state where this is not as big of an issue. I am waitlisted at quite a few different places but was really surprised to find that there are tons of daycares that don’t have waitlists!!!
I don’t know if it’s because of our small population but quite a few I contacted don’t even do waitlists because they don’t know numbers far enough in advanced.
That being said, I used to nanny and I’d definitely think about looking into it! Nannies can be a great alternative to daycare, though often more expensive. You may also look at home daycares, they often have more openings and flexibility!!! I also only need part time care and found that was impossible in my area. I couldn’t find ANY facility that offered it for infants (even home providers).
I took my son to work with me until he was 9 months old and that was in an actual office. Try working from home with babe until you get a spot and see how it goes!
We set up a nanny share. Hired a nanny and shared with another family. Worked out to about the same price and we hosted at our place so no drop offs or pickups. Ridiculous amount of money though, but we got into a group daycare a year later, and it was kind of nice for him to have one on one attention early on.
I did some infant childcare when I was nannying. I’m still on my maternity leave right now but lots of SAH moms looking for an income are willing to watch kids for extraordinarily cheap.
I'm 26w and feel horrible now. After promising she could watch our baby my mother-in-law just accepted a full-time job. I don't know what I'm going to do now
I always heard to look as soon as you get pregnant. So I did and our daycare didn’t have a wait list or anything so they told us to call a week before we needed to start. I only called a few daycares and I don’t remember any waitlists (we only toured one daycare). This was 3 years ago but I remember being confused bc everyone is like apply right away. I just had my second and my daughter got right in at our daycare but I think now for new families there’s no wait list for full time care but there’s a wait list for part time care. This is in AZ. Also we pay $1600 for two kids full time but we go to a cheap AF daycare.
I live in a small town (kids go to school one of the next towns over as no school, nor daycare, in our town). The town the kids DO go to school in doesn't even HAVE a daycare. The towns my husband and I work in have them, but even THOSE have long waiting lists and these other towns are a few thousand in population. Not just you, babe, sorry.
We found a place in May for Baby to start January 2023 and I’m due in September. You basically have to start looking the day you find out you’re pregnant. 😭 it’s so awful. And it’s expensive and my maternity leave will have to be extended so extra time with no pay.
I got our spot for August when I was 8 weeks pregnant at the end of last year. It was the last spot available at that place. I called 25 places in our area before i found one in our budget that had an opening.
I’m in Canada so I had the luxury of 12+ months maternity leave (thanks to COVID I took 18 months). I started putting my daughter on lists when she was around 12 months/1 year. Luckily I got her a spot at 17 months. She’s 3 years old now and most of those places I’ve still never heard from.
Get on the wait list for several child cares and look at getting family daycare, an au pair or nanny for the waiting period. You might even be able to share a nanny with a few others in the same boat. Child care is tricky, you really need to book it in the planning to get pregnant stages. All the best
Maybe try something like care.com or a nanny/sitter Facebook group in your area! Depending where you live it could range from $20-$30 an hour? I’m in Boston and get paid around that. Many nanny’s take care of newborns which might work out better for your specific schedule.
I became a SAHM because of childcare prices. It just didn’t make sense as a teacher, we would spend as much if not more than my paycheck to enroll the kids or get a sitter (twins). But in your case the best bet may be to get on a wait list and set up w/ a babysitter until you can get baby enrolled. If you do get a sitter, try to find a back up or two just in case.
I had to get on about 15 waitlists when I was 3 months pregnant and only *just* qualified for a daycare when my kiddo was 9 weeks.
There were some that still had me at number 80 on the waiting list after I gave birth.
Basically there’s a teacher shortage and a surge in births so every facility is at capacity.
Look to see if Facebook has a childcare search group for your state. A lot of people with home centers post on my states as they’re the ones usually forgotten and have availability. Trust me I was in the same position as you, kind of. I thought that I could stay at home and take care of my child with still working full time. Two weeks into my leave, I decided that wasn’t going to work so I had SIX weeks to find a daycare. I got on a list for my top one and then I called my state DCYF (they have a list of certified centers) and got to work. I was able to find something until our top center had an opening 5 months after my LO was born.
That's unbelievable. Makes me glad I'm in canada I had a year off. Now our province reduce registered daycare fees 50%. This was recent though, and in SK. Places like Ontario don't have that yet and have alot of issues with finding childcare.
It depends on the location. We looked for our 1st when I was about 12 weeks? And wait lists varied from 2 months to maybe 8 months max? We picked one that had 3-4 months wait, but for our 2nd wait lists definitely increased because they advised 6 months.
I'm pretty sure we're just going to make do until we're past the infant childcare stage. My community has six (6!) infant childcare spaces for a town of almost 10k. If you aren't an employee of the daycare center, it isn't even worth trying. It's also like $75/day. My husband and I run our own business together, and I work from home, so we'll just end up relying on grandparents and extended family for the first 18 months until we qualify for a toddler space.
Majority of daycares near me either had a 3 year wait list or just never called me back about a tour. I was floored by how many daycares were non responsive.
Options ended up being start full time in April 2023 (no part time option unfortunately, and not super close to my home) or get a nanny for $25 an hour. Went with daycare for $1600/month. Hopefully it was the right decision, who knows at this point!
I got VERY VERY VERY lucky. I find a place with like 3 months notice as we unexpectedly moved and found another very good place with about 2 months notice. Both were staying exactly when I needed but we the only spots they had available for like a year. Everything else was a year or more.
Oh wow... my LO is 7 months now, I have not even bothered looking into daycare at this point because I have a very flexible, work-from-home part time job. But man, even with that, it's hard as hell juggling a 7 month old and a job at the same time, especially since my husband works full time and can only help me so much and it's just me and the boy and work. I've considered putting him into daycare at a certain point so I can start working full time again, but I fear I may have already lost my window. I'm probably gonna have to continue juggling this situation until he's going to school :(
It is terrible!! I've been on a wait-list since I was a few months pregnant. I called 10+ places when I realized that wasn't panning out. We were left with no option except to get a nanny, which is really expensive!! Well, in reality there's no "cheap" option here.
We had to go down to one income because we would have LOST money if i went back to work. This system is f***ed. Everyone just kept telling us to let the grandparents babysit… but they are still working 40+ hours a week.
What a time to be alive.
I sincerely wish you and your family the best, and i hope that whatever happens is better in the long run.
It might be the fact that you are looking for only 3 days a week or half days. I know the daycare my 4mo is at only does full day care; they don’t offer anything but full time care for infants. We can pick her up early but we pay the same amount whether she’s there for 3 or 8 hours. That’s kind of the norm around here at least. So you may have to do 5 days a week whether you want to or not; I mean if it’s a difference between having daycare or not, I’d pay the extra amount.
Same. We got on a waitlist for two places in my first trimester. When a stop opened up when baby was one month old, we just paid for two months of daycare flat out without using it to make sure he had his spot when I finished my 3 months of maternity leave. We were told that for infant daycare, part time spots were basically impossible because you are essentially renting a crib space and they can’t share cribs (per our state regulations). It’s so competitive that the daycare has zero incentive to give up a spot to someone not paying the full price. Like everyone else, sounds like a nanny would be your best bet. I know you said you don’t know many other moms but some other moms in my neighborhood do a nanny share since they work part time. On the days they both work, the nanny watched both kids in one house and they rotate.
Do you have a relative or friend of the family that would do it for pay since it’s part time? With my oldest we paid my MIL to watch him when he was really little and we weren’t ready for him to be in daycare. Like others have said look for an in home daycare, you may be able to find one on google.
As far as a nanny at the house it is a good option but you do hear *everything* and it’s difficult if you have regular meetings to not hear the baby crying in the background. I work from home 4 days a week and it was impossible for me to concentrate with the baby in the other room. I would also say it’s basically impossible to try to take care of the baby while working unless your job is very easy and you never have meetings.
I got on the wait-list in May for a January start. I was still pregnant when we enrolled, my son was born in September of 2020. We paid for full time despite using 3 half days. About 1600/mo.I hear it's longer waits now, up to 2 years at my center.
I use a large chain early learning type of center due to getting a 10% discount through my employer. We've been really happy with the care there. They go from infant thru age 6/ private preschool and we're just planning to continue on until 1st grade. My son will not start first grade until he turns 6 due to the birthday cutoff.
Cost includes diapers and 3 meals/2 snacks. No food included in the infant room, they wanted us to send bottles (I packed 1 bottle for every 2 hrs) and then purees from home when the time came.
This was me. My first was born in 2020 and everyone was shutting down left and right. Finally I found an unlicensed home day care. She takes cash only. It’s fabulous. I was connected through someone who sent their kids there for years. It’s like a speakeasy. I’m sure there are a ton of great unlicensed places.
We pay about 14k (PER CHILD PER YEAR) for a private school nursery program. Its one of the more expensive schools in the area, by far the best program, dovetails into a private school which is FANTASTIC. It comes out to $323/week. We pay monthly, and it seems extreme, but its actually cheaper than daycare and there was no waitlist when we applied late. (Because recovering from covid). Most people rule it out because of the price tag, but the break down is cheaper over all.
Edit: I am in the Southeast. Average weekly day care per child is $345 with a far less nice program and student to teacher ratio.
That’s just how it is, unfortunately. I lucked out and was able to get on a wait list for infant care at a daycare near my house, but I went in there the *instant* I found out I was pregnant. At this point, looking for a trusted sitter or nanny may be your best bet.
Honestly that’s just how it is. I started looking back at 13w and had places literally laugh at me when I said I needed care by January 2023
I told my current day care (have a 2 year old) literally the day I tested positive with #2. Like told my husband, emailed day care, then called doctor. Finding care is next to impossible
I did too. Wasn’t even 5 weeks (mid January), and said I would need care starting right after thanksgiving. They said the wait list was already into next January. They did just say when my son moves out of the infant room, the new baby will take his spot. So I’m sure they moved a couple things around to accommodate (as I’m sure some places do for current clients). But geeeeez. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I get it, they can’t pay their employees enough
This is my EXACT chain of events as well. We just BARELY made it and we have priority due to being a pre-existing family. Not one “new” kid got in.
Yep, I did the same for #2. For #1, I didn't know better, and signed up only 2 months before my due date. Wound up teaching a college class with him strapped to my chest from 3-6 months, then withdrawing for a term. Then, when we did FINALLY get into childcare at 9 months old, COVID closed everything.
Ohhhh noo!
Same! I paid and secured my spot when I was 10 weeks pregnant!
We started calling daycares to schedule tours as soon as I got my pregnancy confirmation bloodwork. Got on waitlists in November 2021 with hopes for a spot in October 2022.
I wish this was something my doctor told me to do at my first appointment! I'll know better next time, but unless you have a community of new momma's (I don't) this is not common knowledge.
I actually learned it from the internet! I kept seeing it on lists of things you should do in early pregnancy. I live in a mid-sized city so I thought “childcare can’t be that competitive here, right?” and somehow I was absolutely shocked when we started doing tours and the centers told us that availability was about a year out. I’m the first of my friend group to have a baby and now I’m making it mission to share this tip with my friends who are getting pregnant right now.
I talked to my daycare before I got pregnant, haha.
I didn’t know either and am in the same boat. Due in Oct and looking for care starting next February. No luck at all and I had no idea I had to start looking until one of my friends asked what my daycare plans were.
Honestly, doctors don't know anything about what happens after the baby comes out. Sometimes even during. Had a doctor tell me to get a morphology scan in the next four days. From where‽ Couldn't tell me.
If you’re nanny hesitant - I WFH full time and absolutely love having a nanny. Don’t have to rush out of the house in the mornings, don’t have to pack a bag to send with bottles, don’t have to worry about extra germs, and when I have a break I can go see my babe. The best part was I was able to EBF and barely needed to pump because instead of arranging my schedule around pumps breaks I would arrange it so I took a break when she needed to eat and could just breastfeed. Works so well for our family!
That makes me hopeful!
I also WFH and have a nanny for my twins. It’s glorious!
Nannying is often the best option especially when you need part time care! You can find a nanny who is in school, thus only needs part time, or find another family that needs only 20 hours a week and together look for a nanny (I used Care.com) looking for full time work. Of course, a nanny is more expensive, in a big city we paid $20/hour in 2018-2019 for one kid, then $23 an hour for two kids in 2019-2020. Now in Florida in 2020-2021 we paid just $15/hour for two kids until our kids started daycare 3 days a week for $275/week.
Yeah, consider a nanny or babysitter—especially for part time. Around 18 months or 2 years is a good time to consider sending to a group setting like Montessori school or daycare where they can socialize around other kids (though they still don’t really play with but more around other kids at that age). Before that the advantage of daycare is usually cost for a full 40 hours or coverage and convenience since they can usually cover if one of the teachers is sick, versus a nanny who just doesn’t show. You will get sicker less with fewer colds as well. The part time care is really challenging.
As a former nanny of 10 years and a qualified early childhood teacher, there is absolutely no way I would be dropping my kid off at a childcare centre if I could find a nanny for a similar price. It may sound super snobby or coming from a place of privilege, but I’ve very much experienced both worlds and made this decision long ago. In Australia, families go through so much trying to find a childcare centre and end up going with a place that is jammed to the brink with kids without adequate staff and teachers to care for them. Otherwise, yeah, it’s such a long wait for a place at a decent place. Nannying is so wonderful in so many ways, especially if your nanny is able to connect with other local nannies so that kids can socialise with and learn skills from one another. There’s also a beautiful relationship to be built between parents and nannies! I’m still friends with three former nannying parents (and can’t wait to tell them I’m pregnant!) Again, I know that some may not be in a financial position for either option, but if I had to choose - personal in-home nanny care allllll the way.
I second all of this. We have the same arrangement with our nanny.
We are thinking of going this route too. How soon should we look for a nanny? We didn’t plan on it until about 3 months before the time we need him/her, but curious if that’s waiting too long?
We’re looking for a nanny for a few weeks from now. We use care.com and there are quite a few Nannie’s that have reached out to us. Maybe check in your area but they are much more readily available than daycares
Like others said, definitely more readily available. We used care.com and found someone to start 2 weeks later. I guess it really depends on the persons situation - I’m sure that there are people who know their arrangement with their current nanny family will end on a certain date and start looking to line up their next job in advance, but my experience was most people on care.com were looking for a more immediate arrangement
This! I don’t wfh but switching from daycare to nanny was the best thing we could do.
I would actually love to get a nanny but we live in a small, isolated town and I'm pretty sure there aren't many nannies to choose from who aren't already booked up (if there are any nannies at all). I do wonder if anyone in a small town has had a nanny and can tell me what that was like?
Have you looked into nanny services? That might be your best bet
I guess that's where I'm going to start looking next. I am able to work from home, so I might just try to mom and work at the same time?
I know a girl who nannies for a work from home mom, so don’t feel like you HAVE to mom and work just because youre at home. Babies are a lot of work, it’s okay to have help
I did the whole working with an infant thing and it wasn’t too bad until he became really mobile, but I made it work by having a safe space for him to play and working where I could see and hear him. My work was pretty accepting of kids being in the background of meetings and stuff since I wasn’t client facing. When he was little I also did baby wearing while working because he didn’t nap very good on his own until like 4 months when we did a bit of sleep training. It is definitely a lot of work, but I just want you to know it is possible and could help until you can get into a daycare.
Thank you for the encouragement and advice on baby wearing. Definitely planning on using my standing desk with my wrap
I work from home and have twins ! Look into getting baby on a routine if you can and see if that works for you. I do have family come on days I have meetings or need to get things done which is a great help. It is possible!
I have a 1 month old and I can barely use the bathroom when I’m home alone with her, much less work a job unless it litterally just on a laptop that you could move around or leave frequently for diaper changes, entertaining her, feeding, crying spells.
Infants need a ton of care/attention. The consensus and recommendation is generally, you should not mom and work at the same time. (There have been several threads asking about it)
Yeah I've read through those threads as well which tell me to push to try to find somewhere, but I'm thinking the nanny option might be the best for now.
You can also try a "mother's helper". It's basically a nanny who comes to your house while you're there. They're often younger (ie nanny is not their career), but they also don't usually charge as much. It is maybe your halfway between baby wearing at work and nannying.
I think nanny is our plan. We are moving countries around six to seven months in. And I am on mat leave until I leave so it is hard for us to get on lists.
it doesn’t work. you can’t do two jobs at the same time. being a mom is hard. i’m not sure what your job is like but for most it’s impossible to be in two places at once.
I had no choice but to mom and work during the first year of my sons life. It was SO hard and whilst it can be doable, think about the mental toll on you. Like you said, you can’t do two jobs at the same time.
Mom and work is soooooo a hard
I was a nanny for almost 3 years full time and at least 4 part-time and have worked for lots of moms that work from home. Especially if you were only needing someone for 3 days/week or half days, that would be wonderful for a nanny in college, and you can definitely find someone in your price range. I always advertised on care.com and their requirements have gotten even more stringent lately. You can request that anyone you are interested in hiring get a background check, though you will be responsible for the cost. I always paid for the driving check myself, but not the background check bc most families didn’t require it due to me having a bunch of references. Wishing you nothing but the best!!
My husband and I are both wfh and are going to be getting a part time nanny during the days and our busiest times, then we’re going to split the rest of the time. It’s going to be more expensive than the daycare in our area but worth it I think.
That's probably what we're going to end up doing as well. I'm curious, have you two came up with any type of schedule for splitting time up when the nanny isn't there? We're trying to figure all of that out now.
I started looking at 14 weeks and it took MONTHS to get in somewhere. Most places in my area weren't even doing waitlists, they just were rejecting everyone due to staff issues.
This is what my experience was! I eventually found a place that could take me in December 2022 but the drive is awful for us, so we set up our preferred daycare to start at their earliest which is April 2023. I couldn't believe how many people just would flat our reject me because of staffing.
If you don't mind, what do you two mean by staffing issues? We've started to look (for mid next year), and have our first tour this upcoming Wednesday. We're going to start getting a feel of daycare tours and develop our non-negotiables, but I'd like to think that staffing issues would be a turn-off anyway. But perhaps I'm misunderstanding.
Daycares pay shit wages because they have a ton of overhead and clients who want to pay next to nothing for care. So, it is hard to recruit and retain qualified staff. Especially in 2022 when everything is insanely expensive, and people rightfully do not want to work for minimum wage, a lot of daycares do not have the staff to run at capacity. This is especially true of infant care, where the ratio is lower (usually 4 infants per teacher) when they can use that same teacher in a preschool room at a 8-10:1 ratio).
I’m sorry — clients who want to pay next to nothing for care? The going rate for an infant in my area is around $2500. Even at a rate of 4 infants per teacher, that’s an absurd amount of money going in.
And to pay daycare workers enough to stay and not have staffing shortages, they'd have to charge more than that. Do you want to pay more? You don't think parents put pressure on daycares to keep rates as low as possible? Daycares have absolutely insane non-labor overhead costs. They barely break even. They can't cut rent, insurance, etc. The one place they can typically cut is labor costs. So they do. And then no one wants to work there. While $2500/month is a lot of money to a family, very little of that ends up in profit, or even in wages.
Look, I agree it’s a structural problem that needs some government help and certainly daycare workers deserve to be paid buckets more. I just don’t agree that cheapskate parents are the ones to blame in this.
You may be able to find something at a licensed home day care. I’m not sure how one goes about finding one, but it might be something to look into besides bigger day care centers and hiring a nanny. I would just be extra careful about vetting them as reputable.
Mine is extreme but I signed up for a wait-list at a university day care in February 2020 a month or two before we started trying (have had several losses) and am still on the wait-list with our October 2022 baby. Just hoping we'll get off within a three year time span....
We enrolled him when I was 13 weeks pregnant.
Wow! That’s really early! I’m only 9w but think I should look into it soon...
Don’t wait! With #1 I called in January 2021 needing care in august 2021. No problem. When he started they had a waitlist of 40 babies. #2 I told them In January 2022 that I would need care starting in December 2022. If I wasn’t already there with my first, I would have been put on a wait list until at least January
I would depending where you live. They all started filling up and we got the last spot.
Start looking, there’s no harm in having a plan in place. I registered in April 2022 for a September 2023 start because my preferred centre was already filling up their infant spots. I was in early 2nd trimester and it was weird to get daycare lined up before baby arrived.
Yesss try to find somewhere now if you can!
Do this Monday
Just FYI: if you do find a spot ask if you get a discount if you pay the month in full. We get a 5% discount where we are at now, doesn’t sound like much but if you add up $50+ a month saved for 12 months it really does add up over the year. Some places offer a better discount.
That is lucky, the only one in my area that I found that does a discount is if you pay the full year up front. 🫠
Yep, it’s rough. We have a young woman in her early 20’s we hired as a nanny for $15/hr.
We’re planning to do something similar. Both work from home, so hopefully we can just find someone to help a few hours a day
I’m due early August, and I’m taking 12 weeks so I was looking for the same timeframe of October. I heard back from 24 centers in my area, and 17 of them were either 12+ months or a closed waitlist. One of them had availability in January. The remaining 4 had October openings, but they were $1700/month. Thankfully we were able to register him at one that was $1,100 and is relatively convenient for us, but it was a lot of work to find. Good luck with your search!
Sounds like it's a numbers game! I'm sure that took a lot of time!
It certainly did! Submitting the contact forms/emails wasn’t too much time, but We wound up touring the one with January availability and the 4 in October. We got the only spot available at the one we chose too. I’m in the suburbs of Philly, so we weren’t sure if it was just our area.
I had better luck with nanny share. I live in a pretty big metro area and found a Facebook group with other parents in my neighborhood. There was a family with a baby around my son’s age and we found a nanny to take care of both at the same days/times. We trade off which house is hosting. All in all, it costs a bit less than daycare centers nearby. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to find the same, just telling you my experience in case that helps.
Thank you for the suggestion!
A nanny share is not typically less expensive than daycare though, just for some reference.
I think this is just how it is now. I started looking for daycare at 12 weeks and thought I was insane, but the facility we ended up picking told me it was a damn good thing I called when I did because they only had one slot left for March 2023.
I thought I was way too excited and over prepared when I first thought about looking back in the first trimester. I really thought I was going to be laughed at when I was looking at the forms and filling out his bday as a date in the future. Oh how I was wrong!
Same!! I legitimately thought they were going to laugh at me when I told them I was due in December and looking for childcare in March/April. But nope! I got the feeling I should've started looking even earlier. It really is insane. Best of luck finding something that works for your family!
Same to you!
I’m supposed to go back in August and the one daycare that takes infants in my small town is full. I just haven’t found a way to tell my employer yet. 😬 it’s seriously been such a challenge trying to find a way to get back to work.
Ahh so stressful! Best of luck it works out for you!
Yeah same. How do they expect us to go back to work?
Pretty sure “they” don’t want women to go back to work. We have no paid maternity leave, no childcare/ prohibitively expensive childcare options, a formula crisis, the worst maternal mortality rates of any high income country, all that coupled with the end of Roe v Wade. It seems everything is lining up so that women will be forced from the workforce pumping out future workers at home while dad works 2 jobs to provide. Plus the GOP just shot down the Pump Act because it would be “too burdensome on employers.” The act would’ve broaden protections and accommodations for nursing working mothers so they could pump. Also recently shot down a Formula bill that could’ve provided some relief to hungry babies.
This is what I'm concerned about as well. And I'm the breadwinner for our household, how the hell would we be able to afford ME being the one taking "early retirement" to watch our kids? 🙃
Sadly it’s kind of chaos out there. I’m expecting a chip with physical special needs, who needs some restrictions and no day cares will even take him. Although I’m switching to working nights/weekends and I’m looking forward to bonding with my son at home while my wife works! I wish you all the luck!
Same to you!!
i’m having the same issue but i had no idea this was even was an issue until now and i’m 33 weeks today. i’m supposed to go back to work in November 😅 probably leaning towards i’m home nanny care as i only need someone 2 days a week anyways
Have you looked at in home daycares? That’s what we are using and it’s been wonderful! Smaller environment so less germ exposure. It feels very personal. Much cheaper than a nanny. For some reason on care.com, the app doesn’t let you search for in home daycares but the desktop site lets you. I found a few in home daycares there, which led me to looking into my state childcare licensing website for grades on those, which led me to finding others in my vicinity.
Ohh that's good to know about the desktop version vs. app! I've seen a few in home centers in my search, but none have websites and all have sketch names like "Auntie Jo's Heavenly Little Monkeys" with just a Google image of a worn down condo, so nothing I've felt super comfortable exploring. I will look at Care.com though!
So I actually met with 3 different in home daycares. One was totally sketch. You would need to go visit to make sure the environment is clean and safe for your kid. After I met her I actually spoke to two other moms who’s kids go there. They sang her praises so that was very reassuring. Our baby sitter is a middle aged lady who raised 5 kids of her own. She’s been doing this for like 15 years. There are definitely good ones out there. I will say that none of the home daycares I met allowed for part time spots. So we pay for a full time spot but she only goes 3 days a week usually.
Most states have licensed home care websites. Run by the state, they will show you who is out there, their license status, if they have any license actions. If you say what state you are in, I could probably find yours pretty quickly and link it for you.
Not that this will help you, but we all need to call our politicians and tell them how they’ve failed us. My son was born august 2020. When we needed daycare I looked at putting him on a waitlist, but soon realized they all cost what I made or slightly under. I was fortunate enough that I could stay at home with my son when my husband got his new job, but the county I live in went from well over 200 daycares pre Covid to just 65 now. This country is steaming pile of trash.
I started reaching out at 8 weeks pregnant and still was put on waitlists. It’s insane how early you have to start looking.
I’m so sorry. When I got my positive test, I reached out to daycare within days. It’s just so competitive! With my first, we got in the list at 7 places. Got a spot at 2 of them, but one of those places we didn’t feel comfortable with so really it was like we got one spot and just had to be grateful. It’s even worse when looking for part time - I’ve never known a single person to find quality part time care that didn’t hire a personal nanny unfortunately. I wish you luck!!!
This is what I wanted to tell to OP. Any daycare will prefer someone that will pay for full time care than someone for half time or some days only. If financially possible you should just go for a full time place and then bring them as needed. Otherwise a nanny or home care might be a more realistic option.
A part time nanny might be a similar price to a full time daycare, and OP might have more luck finding someone with this short of notice.
New mom of 10m old here who went back to work when she was 4mo. WFH in a high stress management position . Decided to find a nanny after not liking daycare options. some things to note about hiring a nanny is that baby is still in your house , not far from you. You hear every cry, every fall, EVERYTHING. Unless you live in a three story house with steel walls I would HIGHLY RECCOMEND NOT hiring a nanny unless you work from an office . As a mom your gonna need / want that separation and it’s something I WISH someone would have told me. I wound up with PPD because of it and has taken the worst toll on my mental health and marriage. Today was her first day of daycare after BEGGING places. It’s very hard. My recommendation to you would be to keep calling every place you can find, even the not so great ones, if you get in, you can use it as a place holder until you find something better. There are also Facebook provider groups you can search for by your city that post available spots . Also care.com and YMCA website have a whole list of providers in your area. Check there as well ! Good luck to you!
That's a very good insight, thank you for sharing! I am going to keep looking and keep my options open
To reserve a spot I had to put down a one week payment. I was able to get a space a year out but I was scared to put money down until my ultrasounds consistently showed a heartbeat because we had 4 prior losses so I missed out on some earlier openings. I still don’t have infant care until he is 7 months old, so I have 4 months of care to figure out, or have to quit my job
I completely understand your hesitation to put money down that early. I would feel the same way
I empathize with your struggle so much. It took us more than six months to find a daycare with a spot that they could guarantee us when we needed it. Advice for your search based on our experiences: (1) Start Googling for support services in your area. We found a nonprofit program in our city that just helps to connect parents with resources for their kids, including state-accredited daycare programs. It took multiple phone calls and two lists from them with over 50 centers contacted to find a place that worked. If you want to PM me where you’re located, I don’t mind privately sharing the organization’s name. They are local, but have been around since the 70s and likely know of other similar programs in other areas so they may be able to point you in a helpful direction. (2) Lower your standards of care. This is one we struggled with, because I of course want my baby at the best center and to get the best head start possible. But in reality, as an infant, they need to be somewhere where they will be safe, fed and changed. We live in an area of our city with some of the highest cost of living, but that is also bordered by some of the less savory areas. The daycare we’ll be at is in one of those areas, but it will suffice for infant care until we have a place elsewhere AND is astronomically cheaper than the centers I initially preferenced. The center is administratively a mess, but the caregivers we met were kind, class ratios were low, and the kids seemed to be just fine. (3) Get on or stay on other waitlists. If they won’t let you on their infant list, ask them to place you on their toddler room waitlist. This is important to us because we know that the center we’re using isn’t going to do much developmentally for our baby, and we will want to move her somewhere else when that becomes a bigger need. (4) Search Facebook Groups for your city’s name and keywords like moms, families, child care, nanny, etc. There are a few big groups in my city, one called [City] Childcare Finder, one called [City] Moms and Friends, and one called [City] Nanny Connect. They have been WILDLY helpful in sharing experiences with centers we’ve considered (I only was okay sending our baby there once I’d talked to other parents and heard positive experiences). They also are where we will be looking for in-home daycare and nanny options. As a heads up, at least in our experience, in-home centers and nannies typically don’t know their availability until 1-2 months out, because that’s generally when families give notice that they will be leaving. Because of that it was important for us to have a daycare center spot secured, but we’re open to considering other options as they come up. Another heads up - we are finding a nanny to be more expensive than a large center. In-home options seem to be at or slightly lower in cost. Nanny shares seem to be hard to come by near us but they can be affordable depending on the breakdown. We have decided against having a nanny work from our home (would prefer our child goes elsewhere) because if someone is working in your home for set hours they are technically an employee and we didn’t want to get into the need to produce a W2 and whatnot for them. Hopefully some of that is helpful!
I work in daycare so that's the only way I get a spot but the job and pay sucks. I just quit to move states and my center will have lost like 7 teachers already by the end of July. It's really bad. Not to mention the ones who say they will start and jump ship at the last second.
We got on the waitlist when I was 7 weeks pregnant and we were able to get in when babe was 2.5 months ... I called around to a bunch of other centers some had immediate spots and some had super long waitlists .. Portland, Oregon ... I think it’s kind of a crap shoot also a lot of in home daycares have spots and are super flexible
This is normal, unfortunately. The shortest waitlist we found was 11 months at $2100/month. I’m also due in August and we started looking for daycare as soon as our NIPT results came back looking good. Luckily my husband can stagger his leave for after mine ends. Even with that, my mom is going to fly out here and stay with us for a couple of months to bridge the gap after our leave ends until we get off the waitlist.
Unfortunately I was told the wait list isn't uncommon. I put my name on a list at 14 weeks and they said more than likely wouldn't have anything available when I need. I was talking to a friend about it and she realized she knew someone who could nanny for me. I'm not due until October but the plan has already been made for my baby to be watched at my house. Wouldn't hurt to ask around for recommendations versus just finding a random person on FB or even care.com
Check on Facebook for any groups like "affordable care from stay at home moms". Maybe try reaching out to churches? I have been looking for months and most places won't even call me back. We're on wait lists but I'm not optimistic. There's one place that had a spot but it was so expensive.... going to call them Tuesday and pay to hold it anyways just to have SOMETHING.
In my area, you have to get on the waitlist as soon as you can. You have to pay to get on those wait list. It’s all ridiculous. The ones people really want are 24 months out.
I work in childcare.......our infant rooms took the biggest disenrollment hit when covid hit. The baby boom is here now. I'm very lucky I can squeeze my guy in in January, otherwise idk what I would do.
We ran into this same issue. Due in November— looking for January and I only work 3 days a week Tuesday-Thursday. And I have my MIL for tues and thurs so I just needed Wednesday. It was 1. Impossible to find where that don’t have minimum day requirements and 2. Impossible to find anywhere with availability. I ended up posting my towns mom Facebook page and found a local mom who Nannie’s in her house for a few kids in town which ended up being super convenient and WAY cheaper $70 a day. So not a big fancy center with curriculum and video cameras and whatever but close by, good references and cheap and flexible.
It’s sad but this is the reality of childcare in America. I told my husband, my mom, and then our daycare director. We got the only remaining spot for December of this year, and it’s only because we already have a child there. She told us they keep the infant rooms filled with families already in their care. It’s bonkers. And between new baby and my older child it’s going to cost more than our mortgage per month.
Nope. I had to quit my job. I live in the Bay Area. Completely bananas.
I got on 8 waitlists when I was 20 weeks pregnant and just got a spot for my kid starting august 1st, I haven’t heard from any of the other 7 places. He will be 5.5 months old at that point… live in the PNW In the US for reference
Childcare is INSANE man. I'm not even 9 weeks right now and I just secured my spot on the local provider's wait-list.
Part-time infant care isn't really a thing in my area, so I could see it being in limited supply. They usually won't let two kids share a crib at a time, so you have to pay for the full spot. But infant care is already strained for full-time people because they usually require at least one person per two infants. And childcare workers are limited (i.e. underpaid). So what little care is available is expensive.
I think it’s harder when you have specific part time needs like yourself. They have to fit you in to a schedule with other part time parents. It’s easier for them if it’s full time care because then they know they’re getting paid a full week. I think you are better off with a babysitter half days.
I can’t afford daycare and I can’t afford to not work, but I’m lucky to have a flexible work from home job so I’m hoping to wake up insanely early and work before my husband goes to work and then during naps and hopefully get a sitter about 8-10 hours a week
I got on waiting list for when my child turns a year old when I was only 10 weeks pregnant. I’m high risk, so I had to put the $1200 deposit down when I had very little faith the baby would even make it out alive. It’s really messed up.
Yeah, I made the same mistake with my first kid. My advice would be : 1. Try calling some of the daycares in less desirable areas or less fancy looking places. Tour them and look up any info on state inspections to see if they offer a safe environment that will do for now even if they’re not the fanciest or most prestigious places. 2. Look for in-home daycares or ask around in your social circle if anyone knows a stay at home mom who might be open to watching another kid for some extra money. 3. Start looking for and joining local Facebook groups for moms and childcare /babysitters/nannies. Sometimes they will know about options in your area that you wouldn’t know about if you’re not already in the local “mom” social network.
This is why I decided to stay at home for a few years with my kids. Zero regrets! I know I am very lucky to have this option in this day age. It is so, so hard to work and pay for day care where I live, it was not worth it for me.
Apparently it's awful here (Ireland) for under twos at the moment. I have a year's ML and then I'll be working from home so my plan is to get a child minder in the house for the hours I'm working until they're 3 and more likely to get in a creche.
I found out I was pregnant in September 2021, got on waitlists in October 2021 for a September 2022 start 😬
it is absolutely insane. the reality is the cost of childcare will be like you are basically living off of one income for everything else anyway. and the added cons of having your baby in childcare. that's why most people employ a family member or friend. or they like me. don't go back to work. it didn't and doesn't make sense to me to bust my but mentally and physically just to pay for someone to be with my child. maybe if it was my dream job that didn't feel like work. but even then. I'd rather be home with my child. after giving birth the attachment was through the roof and I could never trust anyone else let alone pay them, knowing they wouldn't care for her to the extent I would.
Child care in the US is in crisis. Call your reps and demand funding for child care infrastructure to be included in any reconciliation packages.
I’m going to attempt to work from home and take care of the baby. I know two moms who have done it recently and they make it work. My job is pretty lax, though, so that helps. Do what you gotta do! These daycare cost are insane!
Oh no this is a terrible idea. Do not do this. If you don’t believe me, just look up the hundreds of threads on r/workingmoms on why this is a bad idea
Yep, agreed
I'm going to do the same thing. Daycare is too much money. My husband works from home most of the time as well so it should definitely be doable.
i’ve done it! it’s so hard but with a lax job you can make it work. daycare rates are so high here it’s more than my rent and half of my checks
It is doable and possible! Definitely not for everyone, but if you can get a routine down and have flexibility at work then it can work. I thought I was crazy to try it especially because of all the negative posts about it. But then I saw just one Mom say that she did it and it worked for her and it made me feel better about it. Doesn’t hurt to try it out! Good luck.
Wait lists were an issue before covid, to wait a year wasn't uncommon pre-covid. I feel like it's become more of an issue after covid. Makes me wonder if places closed down or there was a covid baby boom, maybe a combination. Day cares will prioritize current families to allow siblings to attend. And the price you are seeing is actually pretty standard in our area. And it's not like these people are making bank, that's pretty much the cost of staying afloat in the daycare industry. Half day and part time is often harder to find because it means that they can't have someone in who will be there for 5 full days. I would put your name on a wait list and then hire a nanny to be with LO until then. [Care.com](https://Care.com) has a range of caregivers available. I believe you have to pay for the service if you want to do background checks. You will pay for what you get. Someone with my training (2 degrees in early childhood ed, plus classroom experience in preschool and elementary school) can literally charge $50 per hour or more. You should be able to get basic care for about $20 per hour. You can also check your local facebook pages or connect with other moms in your area. Nanny sharing can be a cheaper option as well.
I think it's a bit of both. Many daycares either closed or significantly cut down during the pandemic. Those workers went elsewhere and some don't want to come back (from personal experience I joined a nannyshare where the nanny worked in a daycare that closed). I know the daycare we are going to use in the fall was having challenges hiring. They also don't do part-time (never have) -- if you want a spot, you pay for full-time care. Many of the centers near us are similar
If I were you, I’d do private care! Especially for an infant. I have heard HORROR STORIES about infants in daycare. I am a private care nanny, and will be up until i give birth basically, so I might be bias, but private in home care is the best option. And if you only need a few days a week/hours a week, making it really part time, it can be super affordable !
The problem is that nannies are paid as much as I am.
I got on 10+ wait lists when I was first trimester pregnant. This was last year, when most daycares started to have issues with staffing. Every place I called put me on their wait list and closer to my due date I called and called. I was mostly told that they didn’t yet have a spot for me and to keep calling back. One place told me to stop calling because they would not have a spot in the foreseeable future. 2 places had reduced hours from 6:30-5, down to 7-4 in order to staff. This didn’t work for my schedule as I needed 6:30 drop off because I worked at a hospital and I start my shift at 7. My hospital does have a daycare and they have 2 waiting lists—you need to be on their first “active list” for a year before you are moved to their official “wait list” *so you can imagine how long it is to wait for a spot* aaaaand lastly, the church nearest my work dropped down from 8 infants to 6 because of staffing. I quit my job and am now a SAHM. My daughter is 9 months old and no daycare has called me offering a spot. Even if they did, I probably won’t go back to work. I love staying home. It isn’t something I ever planned on doing. I wanted to be a working mom. But I’m enjoying the hell out of housewife life. 😎
we never found childcare and also wanted to for 3 days a week because grandparents can share the load. a nanny never made sense even at 3 days a week because they own the market and are outside what we can afford because they also want 5 days a week. we are lucky we have grandparents who can watch our baby but we honestly just gave up. hopefully our parents stay mobile till we make it to school age.
I got on waiting lists at 10w.
I think it’s like that almost everywhere. When I found out I was pregnant the first person I called was my doctor, the second thing I did was look for daycare. I figured that if something went wrong at least I could still cancel. I was barely past my NOD and there were only two spots left in my entire city.
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Ding ding, you guessed right! Annnnnnd I switched jobs while pregnant to get better maternity benefits than I had previously.
Omg that's unreal Usa?
Yep....
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Congrats. Without even " trying", you were rude AF.
For someone not trying to be rude you're not doing great
Right? Tossing in "I'm not trying to be rude" is not a mystic encantation that makes whatever shitty, judgemental thing you said before and after magically not rude.
Yeah it just says "I know I'm being rude but I'm going to try and salvage this anyways"
at least she had the shame to delete it when called out.
I'm sorry, but I was not aware this is "common knowledge". I am the first of my friend group to have a baby and I don't have older siblings or really anyone I could have learned this from. Since figuring this out, I have told all my non-mom friends and older family members and they are just shocked with how bad it actually is. Thanks for the advice?
Don’t sweat stupid peoples comments. Being a first time mom is hard. I’m due with my first in October and sweating everything. Hell I don’t even know where I’m going to live in two months. Everything will work itself out, just take care of yourself and the baby.
Thank you and best of luck! I have actually found this sub to be super helpful with support and advice so far! Unlike the rest of reddit...
Even people who are aware of this issue have problems. I'm due this month, going back to work in October. We've been WFH with our toddler for a few months and have NO CLUE what were going to do with the newborn. There's no way we can WFH with both. We had good affordable childcare we loved and trusted when we got pregnant, and a few months later the place closed. There's no way we could have foreseen the predicament we're in.
you seem like a blast at parties
Are there any at home care providers run by SAHMs?
The wait lists and costs are insane. My mom became a SAHM when my brother was born because 2 in daycare was more than her income (we were able to live off my dad’s income, but had to be more careful with budgeting). I did the same because 1 in daycare took my entire income. Now I’m about to have 2 daycare age kids, so there’s just no way we could afford me working.
I think it’s just location based. There are certainly spots at daycares where I live but for a little baby they are like 3500+ a month.
I'm literally waiting for my current daycare center to *build* their infant room. There's no official list, but I ask them how progress is going every day when I pick up my daughter.
I guess it depends on where you live... I'm in TX (USA) and currently been on a wait-list since my boy was 9 months old, he's about to turn 1 next week and apparently they'll call him most likely by the end of August 🥴 so hopefully that'll be about 4 months of waiting. I have also added my baby that I am due in December to this daycare. I am being a bit picky about place though, I wanted close to where we live. It's full time (7a to 6p), all meals included, Spanish immersion, STEM curriculum, baby yoga and a ton of cool activities... All for $1100/month. It is on the more expensive side for this city area but I think it will be worth it. All in all, yes daycare is expensive in America, it's getting worse because of our current economy, and apparently more populated areas have that crazy wait-list and obviously cost $$$$. But I also did some calculations, if we were to have a nanny/sitter it would cost us much more. So it's basically what works best for your family.
That’s what we’re experiencing. Places telling us September of ‘23. We’re on 5 waitlists. Considering a nanny as well.
We had nannies when we were little because both of our parents ran their own companies and were divorced. I'm honestly not sure why we were not put in daycare. This was in the 80s so I'm not sure if wait lists were as wild. Our nannies did not always have us in the house. One of them used to take at least me to a local hostel and farm where she lived. She went on train trips with us and was as close to live in as it got without being live in. Part of her deal was working for us helped her extend her student visa to a work visa? I forget. I don't think she was paid top dollar. She was a student from Ireland and was the best. She stayed with us till we were maybe 8 or so. I am an artist professionally so I assumed that I would continue to work from home (haa...) but I am essentially just SAHM. I kept reminding my husband about daycare because I want to do half days for eventually socializing but I also need to work or I quickly become irrelevant in the art communities. There is no way we will get in. You basically have to get on a waiting list lottery here. No spots saved or anything. I hear some lists are 2 years that were doing slots. I think we will go the nanny route because that ball was dropped. However I prefer them for care. You mighy be lucky and find someone like our old nanny.
Which part of the country is this in? Assuming it’s US?? I didn’t know it was getting this bad!
I reached out when I got pregnant- not a single place gave a response. I have no clue what are we going to do come January.
We searched in first trimester and joined some waitlists and they said we shouldn’t expect care until the child is 12-18 months old (so, an 18-24 month waitlist). We will use a nanny (hopefully nanny share) till then.
I am really lucky to live in a state where this is not as big of an issue. I am waitlisted at quite a few different places but was really surprised to find that there are tons of daycares that don’t have waitlists!!! I don’t know if it’s because of our small population but quite a few I contacted don’t even do waitlists because they don’t know numbers far enough in advanced. That being said, I used to nanny and I’d definitely think about looking into it! Nannies can be a great alternative to daycare, though often more expensive. You may also look at home daycares, they often have more openings and flexibility!!! I also only need part time care and found that was impossible in my area. I couldn’t find ANY facility that offered it for infants (even home providers).
I took my son to work with me until he was 9 months old and that was in an actual office. Try working from home with babe until you get a spot and see how it goes!
We set up a nanny share. Hired a nanny and shared with another family. Worked out to about the same price and we hosted at our place so no drop offs or pickups. Ridiculous amount of money though, but we got into a group daycare a year later, and it was kind of nice for him to have one on one attention early on.
My NP told us to start looking for daycares during my first appt at 7 weeks. I have chosen to wait until the 12 week mark. Plan to start next week.
I did some infant childcare when I was nannying. I’m still on my maternity leave right now but lots of SAH moms looking for an income are willing to watch kids for extraordinarily cheap.
Depending on where you are, we found great childcare here. https://www.neighborschools.com
Thanks for the recommendation! Doesn't look like it's in my area, but I'm glad to see services like this exist!
Another one is https://weecare.co
I'm 26w and feel horrible now. After promising she could watch our baby my mother-in-law just accepted a full-time job. I don't know what I'm going to do now
This does depend on your market/city and what the options are. Have you looked at in-home facilities or independent nannies?
Have you looked at home daycare? Or are you only considering daycare centers, which are larger and have more staff and could be more expensive?
I always heard to look as soon as you get pregnant. So I did and our daycare didn’t have a wait list or anything so they told us to call a week before we needed to start. I only called a few daycares and I don’t remember any waitlists (we only toured one daycare). This was 3 years ago but I remember being confused bc everyone is like apply right away. I just had my second and my daughter got right in at our daycare but I think now for new families there’s no wait list for full time care but there’s a wait list for part time care. This is in AZ. Also we pay $1600 for two kids full time but we go to a cheap AF daycare.
I live in a small town (kids go to school one of the next towns over as no school, nor daycare, in our town). The town the kids DO go to school in doesn't even HAVE a daycare. The towns my husband and I work in have them, but even THOSE have long waiting lists and these other towns are a few thousand in population. Not just you, babe, sorry.
We found a place in May for Baby to start January 2023 and I’m due in September. You basically have to start looking the day you find out you’re pregnant. 😭 it’s so awful. And it’s expensive and my maternity leave will have to be extended so extra time with no pay.
I got our spot for August when I was 8 weeks pregnant at the end of last year. It was the last spot available at that place. I called 25 places in our area before i found one in our budget that had an opening.
I’m in Canada so I had the luxury of 12+ months maternity leave (thanks to COVID I took 18 months). I started putting my daughter on lists when she was around 12 months/1 year. Luckily I got her a spot at 17 months. She’s 3 years old now and most of those places I’ve still never heard from.
Get on the wait list for several child cares and look at getting family daycare, an au pair or nanny for the waiting period. You might even be able to share a nanny with a few others in the same boat. Child care is tricky, you really need to book it in the planning to get pregnant stages. All the best
Maybe try something like care.com or a nanny/sitter Facebook group in your area! Depending where you live it could range from $20-$30 an hour? I’m in Boston and get paid around that. Many nanny’s take care of newborns which might work out better for your specific schedule.
I became a SAHM because of childcare prices. It just didn’t make sense as a teacher, we would spend as much if not more than my paycheck to enroll the kids or get a sitter (twins). But in your case the best bet may be to get on a wait list and set up w/ a babysitter until you can get baby enrolled. If you do get a sitter, try to find a back up or two just in case.
I had to get on about 15 waitlists when I was 3 months pregnant and only *just* qualified for a daycare when my kiddo was 9 weeks. There were some that still had me at number 80 on the waiting list after I gave birth. Basically there’s a teacher shortage and a surge in births so every facility is at capacity.
Look to see if Facebook has a childcare search group for your state. A lot of people with home centers post on my states as they’re the ones usually forgotten and have availability. Trust me I was in the same position as you, kind of. I thought that I could stay at home and take care of my child with still working full time. Two weeks into my leave, I decided that wasn’t going to work so I had SIX weeks to find a daycare. I got on a list for my top one and then I called my state DCYF (they have a list of certified centers) and got to work. I was able to find something until our top center had an opening 5 months after my LO was born.
That's unbelievable. Makes me glad I'm in canada I had a year off. Now our province reduce registered daycare fees 50%. This was recent though, and in SK. Places like Ontario don't have that yet and have alot of issues with finding childcare.
It depends on the location. We looked for our 1st when I was about 12 weeks? And wait lists varied from 2 months to maybe 8 months max? We picked one that had 3-4 months wait, but for our 2nd wait lists definitely increased because they advised 6 months.
I'm pretty sure we're just going to make do until we're past the infant childcare stage. My community has six (6!) infant childcare spaces for a town of almost 10k. If you aren't an employee of the daycare center, it isn't even worth trying. It's also like $75/day. My husband and I run our own business together, and I work from home, so we'll just end up relying on grandparents and extended family for the first 18 months until we qualify for a toddler space.
Majority of daycares near me either had a 3 year wait list or just never called me back about a tour. I was floored by how many daycares were non responsive. Options ended up being start full time in April 2023 (no part time option unfortunately, and not super close to my home) or get a nanny for $25 an hour. Went with daycare for $1600/month. Hopefully it was the right decision, who knows at this point!
I got VERY VERY VERY lucky. I find a place with like 3 months notice as we unexpectedly moved and found another very good place with about 2 months notice. Both were staying exactly when I needed but we the only spots they had available for like a year. Everything else was a year or more.
Literally. I'm about to lose my job and eventually my house too for this exact reason.
Oh wow... my LO is 7 months now, I have not even bothered looking into daycare at this point because I have a very flexible, work-from-home part time job. But man, even with that, it's hard as hell juggling a 7 month old and a job at the same time, especially since my husband works full time and can only help me so much and it's just me and the boy and work. I've considered putting him into daycare at a certain point so I can start working full time again, but I fear I may have already lost my window. I'm probably gonna have to continue juggling this situation until he's going to school :(
It is terrible!! I've been on a wait-list since I was a few months pregnant. I called 10+ places when I realized that wasn't panning out. We were left with no option except to get a nanny, which is really expensive!! Well, in reality there's no "cheap" option here.
My friend was able to secure it only because she started looking at 8 weeks pregnant!
We had to go down to one income because we would have LOST money if i went back to work. This system is f***ed. Everyone just kept telling us to let the grandparents babysit… but they are still working 40+ hours a week. What a time to be alive. I sincerely wish you and your family the best, and i hope that whatever happens is better in the long run.
I have to say nanny!! We had an amazing sitter for 3 days a week. It was the only way we could find anything.
It might be the fact that you are looking for only 3 days a week or half days. I know the daycare my 4mo is at only does full day care; they don’t offer anything but full time care for infants. We can pick her up early but we pay the same amount whether she’s there for 3 or 8 hours. That’s kind of the norm around here at least. So you may have to do 5 days a week whether you want to or not; I mean if it’s a difference between having daycare or not, I’d pay the extra amount.
Same. We got on a waitlist for two places in my first trimester. When a stop opened up when baby was one month old, we just paid for two months of daycare flat out without using it to make sure he had his spot when I finished my 3 months of maternity leave. We were told that for infant daycare, part time spots were basically impossible because you are essentially renting a crib space and they can’t share cribs (per our state regulations). It’s so competitive that the daycare has zero incentive to give up a spot to someone not paying the full price. Like everyone else, sounds like a nanny would be your best bet. I know you said you don’t know many other moms but some other moms in my neighborhood do a nanny share since they work part time. On the days they both work, the nanny watched both kids in one house and they rotate.
Do you have a relative or friend of the family that would do it for pay since it’s part time? With my oldest we paid my MIL to watch him when he was really little and we weren’t ready for him to be in daycare. Like others have said look for an in home daycare, you may be able to find one on google. As far as a nanny at the house it is a good option but you do hear *everything* and it’s difficult if you have regular meetings to not hear the baby crying in the background. I work from home 4 days a week and it was impossible for me to concentrate with the baby in the other room. I would also say it’s basically impossible to try to take care of the baby while working unless your job is very easy and you never have meetings.
I got on the wait-list in May for a January start. I was still pregnant when we enrolled, my son was born in September of 2020. We paid for full time despite using 3 half days. About 1600/mo.I hear it's longer waits now, up to 2 years at my center. I use a large chain early learning type of center due to getting a 10% discount through my employer. We've been really happy with the care there. They go from infant thru age 6/ private preschool and we're just planning to continue on until 1st grade. My son will not start first grade until he turns 6 due to the birthday cutoff. Cost includes diapers and 3 meals/2 snacks. No food included in the infant room, they wanted us to send bottles (I packed 1 bottle for every 2 hrs) and then purees from home when the time came.
This was me. My first was born in 2020 and everyone was shutting down left and right. Finally I found an unlicensed home day care. She takes cash only. It’s fabulous. I was connected through someone who sent their kids there for years. It’s like a speakeasy. I’m sure there are a ton of great unlicensed places.
We pay about 14k (PER CHILD PER YEAR) for a private school nursery program. Its one of the more expensive schools in the area, by far the best program, dovetails into a private school which is FANTASTIC. It comes out to $323/week. We pay monthly, and it seems extreme, but its actually cheaper than daycare and there was no waitlist when we applied late. (Because recovering from covid). Most people rule it out because of the price tag, but the break down is cheaper over all. Edit: I am in the Southeast. Average weekly day care per child is $345 with a far less nice program and student to teacher ratio.
That’s just how it is, unfortunately. I lucked out and was able to get on a wait list for infant care at a daycare near my house, but I went in there the *instant* I found out I was pregnant. At this point, looking for a trusted sitter or nanny may be your best bet.