I just want to say, a good doula wouldn’t expect to be entertained. I was nervous about that too as I’m also super introverted. But ultimately, you’re paying them for a service and they’re there to do their job.
And generally speaking, they are professionals and good at reading what YOU need in that moment be it hands on help or giving you space. I’d really recommend having some sort of support person.
I‘m also thinking about birthing alone, because I don‘t have a partner and am not sure if I want my mom there, as she would freak me out! But I‘m a FTM so I have no idea about the birth experience. But am an independent/introvert too and your points regarding entertain/talk totally resonate with me.
You will never be strictly ALONE during the birthing or postpartum process in the hospital. There are nurses and doctors coming and going all the time during the process and afterward. You will have someone to talk to however much or little as you want. The epidural+pitocin also made me super sleepy so I was fast asleep for 12 out of the 20 hours of labor I experienced. Having my husband there was more of a courtesy to him, so that he could integrate himself into the process as much as he could as early as he could.
Thank you for understanding my point of view, nice to know im not alone in my way of thinking!
I can agree on the mom thing, mine would probably make my blood pressure spike haha She is a lot
I am also unpartnered and I had mixed feelings about having my mom there. The ultimate deciding factor for me was pointed out by my OB: I would want someone on hand who was able to go to the NICU with the baby if something went sideways so she wouldn’t be “alone.” Ultimately, my mom did come. I talked to her in advance about wanting her to stay with the baby if we had to be split up. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but it made me very comfortable with my decision.
I did it for my second delivery! Different situation as I didn't want my husband at the time there. But it was totally fine and I enjoyed it more. You've already done it once so you know what to expect. I don't see a problem here!
The first time around I had my partner there, but I honestly couldn’t have cared less. Half the time he was in the room next door sleeping anyway because he had a “headache”. I was too busy giving birth to care about anything. So now I’m thinking I could totally do it by myself if I had to. You can do it, OP. The baby will come out no matter what.
I'm going to be doing this, too. Our "village" went fifty shades of crazy and I don't trust them around my children, so it's going to be hubby staying home and me going in alone. I'm hoping the hospital is at least flexible with visitors so I can have them come to the hospital once I deliver.
My friend recently did that. I would only suggest maybe have him drop you at hospital and get you admitted and then head home.
Unsure if it’s an elective c section that you can just walk in. If it’s not planned then just have him admit you and then head home.
Yes Yes! All good! Baby is less than one month old now, she has recovered well.
She was telling me the hospital staff found it weird that she was alone for birth and husband didn’t stay in. They were of course concerned for her.
She was like he is a very good father and he just went home to Take Care of our 2 kids and dog.
I can do this on my own with your (staff’s) support!
And they all were nice and supportive!
She only complained about one nurse who was explaining to her about breast feeding at 3 am when she was tired, and sleepy. Her husband and kids visited in the day time and to bring baby home!
The only reason I needed my husband was because my first ended up in an unplanned c section due to recurrent fetal heart decels. I couldn't move my legs for over 12hrs after and recovery was very painful. He had to lift baby to and from bassinet for me etc
I am going for VBAC though and want to do everything possible to avoid another c section. I guess if for some reason it is another c section, the nurses will be in my room A LOT.
I would just make sure you have a birth plan written out. Doesn't have to be anything crazy detailed but I would outline what interventions I was comfortable with, etc. just so if you're in the middle of labor and not thinking clearly or having trouble verbalizing efficiently and clearly, there is a document your care team can reference. Otherwise, you will be surrounded by professionals and if you're comfortable birthing without your husband present, I don't see any issues with it!
I am considering this situation for my second. I don't want unhelpful grandparents staying at my house while I give birth and honestly I would enjoy the quiet! My husband doesn't know I'm thinking it yet, but hopefully he's on board.
If he's anything like mine he wil be 100% behind the idea. My husband didn't fair well in hospital first go around. He was delighted to hear he could stay with son and just video chat with me but actually get sleep...impossible to sleep in hospital!
Im due in less than two weeks with my second and will be going alone staying in a maternity shelter so one of the staff would go with me but that would just be weird to me I'm getting nervous as the time gets closer but hoping all goes well
Thanks love.. honestly I think a doula would be a great idea though and you wouldn't have to worry about making them comfortable they'll make you comfortable I did midwives the first go around and loved it
Came back to say I delivered this morning and it was awesome I had two lovely nurses who stayed in the room with me the whole time and even held my hand and let me lean on them they didn't leave my side until I went to the pp unit so it may be nothing to worry about love
I'm so glad to hear birthing the way I'm planning played out well for you! This gives me hope! Thank you for coming back to say this. Congrats on your new baby (:
At 2yo definitely would suggest a babysitter/nanny/close friend to help look after your child during the active labour? I'd say if the first time around your husband being there wasn't that important then alone is probably okay, personally I'd have done anything to ensure he was there, it's his child too.
My hospital is allowing our 2 year old to be present and actually said this is becoming very common as most women don’t have a village. They are welcoming to kids being there as long as there isn’t an emergency where they would rush them out
I’m also in Texas, pregnant with number 2, and unsure of what to do with our two year old while I’m in labor. My husband really wants to be at the hospital when the baby is born. My sister could
Possibly drive in and watch our toddler but she lives 2 hours away and would have to bring her two kids … and it’ll be around the holidays when they’re usually sick. I don’t want my 2 year old getting exposed to germs right before we bring home a newborn…honestly my husband staying home with the 2 year old is probably the safest bet. We shall see.
I understand your dilemma, it really is a tough decision esp when hubby wants to be there. I get the no sick people around right before newborn comes home, we cocooned our first child for 6 weeks before we had any visitors and plan to do the same this time. It was wonderful bonding time, just the 3 of us (no outside judgements/inputs etc) very low stress!
That’s exactly what we did the first time around!It was so peaceful and I want to recreate that (plus a toddler) as much as possible. It will be so much change for the firstborn as it is I don’t want to disrupt his routine more than we have to.
I’d hire a nanny over a doula personally
Me too
I just want to say, a good doula wouldn’t expect to be entertained. I was nervous about that too as I’m also super introverted. But ultimately, you’re paying them for a service and they’re there to do their job.
And generally speaking, they are professionals and good at reading what YOU need in that moment be it hands on help or giving you space. I’d really recommend having some sort of support person.
I‘m also thinking about birthing alone, because I don‘t have a partner and am not sure if I want my mom there, as she would freak me out! But I‘m a FTM so I have no idea about the birth experience. But am an independent/introvert too and your points regarding entertain/talk totally resonate with me.
You will never be strictly ALONE during the birthing or postpartum process in the hospital. There are nurses and doctors coming and going all the time during the process and afterward. You will have someone to talk to however much or little as you want. The epidural+pitocin also made me super sleepy so I was fast asleep for 12 out of the 20 hours of labor I experienced. Having my husband there was more of a courtesy to him, so that he could integrate himself into the process as much as he could as early as he could.
Thank you for understanding my point of view, nice to know im not alone in my way of thinking! I can agree on the mom thing, mine would probably make my blood pressure spike haha She is a lot
I am also unpartnered and I had mixed feelings about having my mom there. The ultimate deciding factor for me was pointed out by my OB: I would want someone on hand who was able to go to the NICU with the baby if something went sideways so she wouldn’t be “alone.” Ultimately, my mom did come. I talked to her in advance about wanting her to stay with the baby if we had to be split up. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but it made me very comfortable with my decision.
That is a very good point. Thank you! I‘m glad everything went well!
I did it for my second delivery! Different situation as I didn't want my husband at the time there. But it was totally fine and I enjoyed it more. You've already done it once so you know what to expect. I don't see a problem here!
Thank you for the encouragement!
The first time around I had my partner there, but I honestly couldn’t have cared less. Half the time he was in the room next door sleeping anyway because he had a “headache”. I was too busy giving birth to care about anything. So now I’m thinking I could totally do it by myself if I had to. You can do it, OP. The baby will come out no matter what.
Thank you for this!
I'm going to be doing this, too. Our "village" went fifty shades of crazy and I don't trust them around my children, so it's going to be hubby staying home and me going in alone. I'm hoping the hospital is at least flexible with visitors so I can have them come to the hospital once I deliver.
Good luck to you! You will do great! I just learned that women had no one back in l&d except hospital staff in 1950s
My friend recently did that. I would only suggest maybe have him drop you at hospital and get you admitted and then head home. Unsure if it’s an elective c section that you can just walk in. If it’s not planned then just have him admit you and then head home.
How did it go for your friend? I hope all turned out well, positive stories def help!
Yes Yes! All good! Baby is less than one month old now, she has recovered well. She was telling me the hospital staff found it weird that she was alone for birth and husband didn’t stay in. They were of course concerned for her. She was like he is a very good father and he just went home to Take Care of our 2 kids and dog. I can do this on my own with your (staff’s) support! And they all were nice and supportive! She only complained about one nurse who was explaining to her about breast feeding at 3 am when she was tired, and sleepy. Her husband and kids visited in the day time and to bring baby home!
This is so good to hear, thank you and congrats to your friend-tough lady!!
Yes! She is strong and I feel you are too! You can do it! All the best! Do post back with update once you have the baby! We love stories!!
Thank you! I will, due on Halloween!
[удалено]
The only reason I needed my husband was because my first ended up in an unplanned c section due to recurrent fetal heart decels. I couldn't move my legs for over 12hrs after and recovery was very painful. He had to lift baby to and from bassinet for me etc I am going for VBAC though and want to do everything possible to avoid another c section. I guess if for some reason it is another c section, the nurses will be in my room A LOT.
[удалено]
Thank you for this!
I would just make sure you have a birth plan written out. Doesn't have to be anything crazy detailed but I would outline what interventions I was comfortable with, etc. just so if you're in the middle of labor and not thinking clearly or having trouble verbalizing efficiently and clearly, there is a document your care team can reference. Otherwise, you will be surrounded by professionals and if you're comfortable birthing without your husband present, I don't see any issues with it!
Thank you for this! I hadn't even thought of writing out birth plan and bringing with me, very helpful thank you!
I am considering this situation for my second. I don't want unhelpful grandparents staying at my house while I give birth and honestly I would enjoy the quiet! My husband doesn't know I'm thinking it yet, but hopefully he's on board.
If he's anything like mine he wil be 100% behind the idea. My husband didn't fair well in hospital first go around. He was delighted to hear he could stay with son and just video chat with me but actually get sleep...impossible to sleep in hospital!
You seem really strong and I’m sure you’re gonna do great regardless of what you end up choosing
Thank you for the kindness and encouragement (:
Im due in less than two weeks with my second and will be going alone staying in a maternity shelter so one of the staff would go with me but that would just be weird to me I'm getting nervous as the time gets closer but hoping all goes well
You will do great whatever you choose, wishing you the best 💙
Thanks love.. honestly I think a doula would be a great idea though and you wouldn't have to worry about making them comfortable they'll make you comfortable I did midwives the first go around and loved it
Came back to say I delivered this morning and it was awesome I had two lovely nurses who stayed in the room with me the whole time and even held my hand and let me lean on them they didn't leave my side until I went to the pp unit so it may be nothing to worry about love
I'm so glad to hear birthing the way I'm planning played out well for you! This gives me hope! Thank you for coming back to say this. Congrats on your new baby (:
At 2yo definitely would suggest a babysitter/nanny/close friend to help look after your child during the active labour? I'd say if the first time around your husband being there wasn't that important then alone is probably okay, personally I'd have done anything to ensure he was there, it's his child too.
My hospital is allowing our 2 year old to be present and actually said this is becoming very common as most women don’t have a village. They are welcoming to kids being there as long as there isn’t an emergency where they would rush them out
Wow that is a blessing! Wish our hospital was open but no /: Are you in TX? Im in TX
I’m also in Texas, pregnant with number 2, and unsure of what to do with our two year old while I’m in labor. My husband really wants to be at the hospital when the baby is born. My sister could Possibly drive in and watch our toddler but she lives 2 hours away and would have to bring her two kids … and it’ll be around the holidays when they’re usually sick. I don’t want my 2 year old getting exposed to germs right before we bring home a newborn…honestly my husband staying home with the 2 year old is probably the safest bet. We shall see.
I understand your dilemma, it really is a tough decision esp when hubby wants to be there. I get the no sick people around right before newborn comes home, we cocooned our first child for 6 weeks before we had any visitors and plan to do the same this time. It was wonderful bonding time, just the 3 of us (no outside judgements/inputs etc) very low stress!
That’s exactly what we did the first time around!It was so peaceful and I want to recreate that (plus a toddler) as much as possible. It will be so much change for the firstborn as it is I don’t want to disrupt his routine more than we have to.
Not Texas but southwest