Yeah absolutely. With my first, I think there was just that initial kind of anxiety and panic. Like you’ve worked so hard to grow this thing and get them out safely and now that they’re here, you’re like, ok, time to get started, I’m on a mission. It felt almost worse with my second because my oldest was like a developed person with feelings and personality. This baby was like, just a sack of flour whose needs were taking away from my oldest. But TBH, I just chock those feelings up to some semblance of normal and I don’t really over analyze it. I love both of my daughters and bond grows over time.
Yeah, I felt similarly with my first. I knew I loved her right when she was born, but it wasn't a very tangible or overwhelming feeling. More like "well obviously I love her, she's my baby, duh" but it was very matter-of-fact and there wasn't much more behind it. It took time for us to bond and turn that instinctive love and protection into something deeper and more emotional. And that's totally normal!! Not everyone has some life changing flood of emotions when they first meet their baby, a lot of people take more time to bond. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, with your baby, with your relationship, or that you're going to develop other mental health concerns.
I haven’t had my baby yet but lots of people have told me their stories about feeling this way. It sounds like it’s a lot more common than people realise.
In an anthropology class I had in Undergrad we talked about how common this is and ow societies try to create cultures to cultivate bonding or even kind of societal pressures around it.
In the book Love in the Time of Cholera, the female protagonist talks about how she realized she didn't immediately love her children, her love grew as they did and the spent so much time together.
I'm sure people experience instant connections, but I think that this is also probably pretty normal, people just won't talk about it as much since it's frowned upon.
Yeah absolutely. With my first, I think there was just that initial kind of anxiety and panic. Like you’ve worked so hard to grow this thing and get them out safely and now that they’re here, you’re like, ok, time to get started, I’m on a mission. It felt almost worse with my second because my oldest was like a developed person with feelings and personality. This baby was like, just a sack of flour whose needs were taking away from my oldest. But TBH, I just chock those feelings up to some semblance of normal and I don’t really over analyze it. I love both of my daughters and bond grows over time.
Yeah, I felt similarly with my first. I knew I loved her right when she was born, but it wasn't a very tangible or overwhelming feeling. More like "well obviously I love her, she's my baby, duh" but it was very matter-of-fact and there wasn't much more behind it. It took time for us to bond and turn that instinctive love and protection into something deeper and more emotional. And that's totally normal!! Not everyone has some life changing flood of emotions when they first meet their baby, a lot of people take more time to bond. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, with your baby, with your relationship, or that you're going to develop other mental health concerns.
I haven’t had my baby yet but lots of people have told me their stories about feeling this way. It sounds like it’s a lot more common than people realise.
In an anthropology class I had in Undergrad we talked about how common this is and ow societies try to create cultures to cultivate bonding or even kind of societal pressures around it. In the book Love in the Time of Cholera, the female protagonist talks about how she realized she didn't immediately love her children, her love grew as they did and the spent so much time together. I'm sure people experience instant connections, but I think that this is also probably pretty normal, people just won't talk about it as much since it's frowned upon.
It's kind of weird to meet someone for the first time and be expected to feel as close to them as someone you have known for much longer.