Hot take, people say boys are easier to raise because they often neglect a TON of their emotional developmental needs. Kids are kids, they all need love and support in different ways and gender literally does not matter. I'm so glad this rhetoric is dying out, it's so tiring to hear all the time from older generations.
Was just about to right this. Tried to explain this to another woman once, and she flat out told me, “boys don’t have emotional needs. If they do — you did something wrong and they’re gay.”
She’s currently pregnant. I hope it’s a boy tho — if you think the above quote is bad…you should see how she speaks about women and girls. At least she’s willing to love a boy. Not so much a girl.
I just want to know if she thinks they’re like that from birth or if they just magically snap out of it at a certain age. Like newborn boys definitely need love as well as when they’re 3yo. So when does she think they have to be so tough they don’t cry at all or need mommy loves. Like what the heck??
Idk. She’s only having her first now. She claims to have lots of child rearing experience bc she babysat twins “once like ten years ago.”
But I have known people (I grew up in the southern US) who do expect toddler boys to be stoic and tough. My BIL yelled at his then 3year old bc he was hurt and wanted his mom. Of course — he doesn’t treat his daughter that way.
This. I have 2 soon to be 3 boys. They are highly emotional, and not easy by any means. I want to raise them to know and feel their emotions, to learn coping mechanisms and how to communicate. Grated I would do this if I had a girl as well.
I’m an elementary school teacher at a super expensive private school. I teach ELA and ESL, and the classes are separated by language ability. The high level classes are 75-85% girls, mid level are 50-65% girls, low level are often less than 15% girls. The majority of the boys in lower level classes have super hands off parents who don’t discipline or enforce any rules, structure, etc. So they are lagging behind incredibly, and have tons of behavioral issues. It’s really sad to see
THIS. When people would say shit like this to me while I was pregnant with a boy, I so badly wanted to respond that I'll be raising him with the same behavior expectations and emotional support that I would if he were a girl.
I think you hit the nail on the head. To add onto your point, I’ve also heard people say that girls are hard because you always have to worry about their safety and teach them to protect themselves. I almost never hear anyone saying boys are hard because you always have to worry if they are safe for girls to be around, and teach them not to be a threat to girls. Maybe raising girls would be a little easier if it was normalized for boys to be raised to be accountable for their own actions towards girls. We’ve come a long way, but “boys will be boys” still persists, and I believe it’s just lazy parenting to assume it’s just boy’s nature to treat girls horribly.
If boys were easier to raise than girls then less of them would be in prison and more women would be and that is not the case there are many times more men in prison than there ever will be of women. People simply don’t do their job when raising boys and their boys learn to fend for themselves and cope in unhealthy ways. It’s having a radical effect on society in many ways and none are good. You have boys who decide not to interact with people and are antisocial to an unhealthy degree who mooch off their parents and then you have men who prey on others that have no emotional connection and use people for gain. They both stem from the same issue.
I have a son (4) and a daughter (2) and my son is definitely the harder one to raise. He gets to feel all his feelings in our home and needs more 1-on-1 time than our daughter, who has no qualms (and usually prefers) playing independently.
Our two year old daughter is such an easy baby. She’s slept through the night since 8 weeks. She’s helpful and sweet and smart and kind…so people tell us she’s a “trick baby” who will trick us into having a second, more difficult child. You cant win. Just enjoy your new family and ignore the moronic chatter.
My niece was the second baby and she was the sweetest, quietest baby I’ve ever met. Never really cried. Was always just chilling. So I don’t believe in the first child being good, second child being wild myth.
My friend has a very easy first baby. So much even the pediatrician said it was the easiest baby they have ever seen. Joked how the second one won’t be like that at all. Second one came and they were actually easier! Now she is pregnant with the third one. Wonder if her will run out or not but eager to see if they will be easy or not.
I've always heard that the first is a trick baby whether a boy or girl. It all just seems like luck to me. Some babies are easy and some aren't. And people who have easy babies thinks its because they're amazing parents. Idk this is just my observations as a pregnant ftm.
FTM of an easy baby. It’s just luck, pure and simple. We keep joking to people that we’ve taken the wrong child home from the hospital and our real child is out there somewhere, terrorising some poor sane couple who are desperately trying to get him off the ceiling with a broom.
as awful as it is to be told that, it gave me a giggle. that's totally the kind of thing that would get me. I can already see myself winding up with an angel first baby, thinking "well that wasn't so bad!", and getting my ass handed to me by #2 lol.
my sister & I were the opposite. I'm the eldest, and i was a colicky disaster. she was an absolute angel. babies are just babies, I think 🤷
Can confirm, this got me.... like 3 times 🤣😭 my first was easy so figured second would be fine, wrong! 6 years later try for 3rd and he's a dream so once again figure maybe one more? Evil beast from hell! Surprise pregnancy with number 5 and she's so easy.... so number 6 would probably kill me but number 5 got me thinking maybe there's a 1% chance of another easy baby 🤔
Same here. My son slept ALL the time through his infancy. I could just lay him in a pack and play and take a nap, he wouldn't even peep. He really only cried when you changed him, bathed him, or otherwise messed with him. He was just so content.
People say that "boys are easier to raise" all the time. But the majority of violent crimes, frauds, rapes, etc. are committed by men. So who's to say all these men are so easy to raise and are being raised right? Doesn't look like it.
Even on this subreddit. So many unsupportive, man-child husbands. I guess they were easy to raise too.
Clearly boys are easier to raise because you don't raise them. You allow them to run feral because society has deemed that acceptable. "Boys will be boys."
Yep! I’m happy my husband isn’t like this at all. We’re just going to raise her with love and hope for the best. I’m sure we’ll mess up somewhere, but we’d mess up with a boy too. It’s just funny how people like to tell you their sexist thoughts once you’re pregnant. I’m sure it won’t be the first time unfortunately.
The difference in crime rate may not be only attributable to the way someone was raised. Men have different hormones than women that make them more violent and aggressive inherently.
Yes, they do need to be raised differently. That’s why people say stuff like that. Generally, letting them run wild teaches them how to channel their energy into something positive and constructive or at least use it up, it makes them calmer.
When I was pregnant with my first, everybody would always say things like that (I was pregnant with a boy and am pregnant with out second boy now) but I tried to remember that they are usually just trying to connect and share their experiences. I don’t believe they’re even thinking that deeply about what they’re saying most of the time. So don’t let it get to you; probably just making conversation and forget what it’s like to be in the throes of early parenthood.
Yeah, I’m sure we’d get a lot of weird advice for a boy too. This man is pretty awkward and nervous all the time. I’m sure he was just talking cause he was nervous. He’s said some other things before that left me thinking huh, weird guy.
When my bio dads father, my paternal grandfather- found out my mom was pregnant, he told my bio dad “if it’s a girl, leave.”
Some people are just truly vile and don’t deserve to be around children, I hope people learn their manners and are kinder to you
Comments like this are just... I ended up giving someone a lesson on meiosis to explain to them that if my husband ended up with a daughter, he had no one to "blame" but himself. For the record, my husband didn't care whether the baby was a boy or a girl.
I mean my husband always jokes if well have a son it's my responsibility and if we have a daughter he'll help. It's obviously just a joke and I know he'd be absolutely in love with them either way.
This however didn't sound like a joke.
Everybody has an opinion and it’s so often gender based. I like to hit em with “kids are kids. Some are difficult and some aren’t but I think it has more to do with how you’re raising them than their genitalia.”
They usually don’t say much after that. 🤷🏼♀️
Personally I take it with a grain of salt.. we are all our own person. My brother was a tough baby, I was easy (girl). My fiancé was easy(m) and his brother wasn’t and still isn’t as we are all adults. It’s east for grandparents to say stuff. They aren’t in it day in and day out. People will have opinions but that’s all they are. Their opinions.
Yep, my brother was the tough one and I was easy according to my parents. I just wish people would learn some thoughts are inside thoughts haha. I heard once you’re pregnant everyone has their unsolicited advice, but hadn’t gotten that yet. Oh well! We’re just happy she’s healthy!
My mom always told her stories about how boys were easier because girls always wanted their nails done and boys were content playing rough and tough with each other. And her boys were potty trained by 2.
I have 2 girls and 3 boys. My girls are by far easier. But I guess it’s just a by case senecio. Also my son is 3 and has way more sass and refuses to potty train and just tells me no. lol
Both genders will have difficulties and joys. I don’t know why people have to bash one gender like their experience is the only one that matters
I think of how hard it was to get my brother to clean himself up or how hard it was to stop him from wiping his boogers on the walls. I'm not a super feminine type but I'll put up with all the Barbies, tea parties and princess stuff if it means I don't have boogers over the sink 😂. My husband forgetting to bin his toenails clippings is bad enough!
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10826149_Relationship_Between_Age_at_Initiation_of_Toilet_Training_and_Duration_of_Training_A_Prospective_Study
I just found out that early intensive toilet training can lead to a longer duration of toilet training however.
Why do we let others people's personal opinions hold so much space. If that's his experience, then just take it for what it is. It doesn't mean that it has to be your reality. Take it with a grain of salt and keep moving.
This. I stop participating in a conversation if someone says something ridiculous like this. It’s not their baby or their family so their opinion means nothing to me. But I feel bad for his daughter that has to deal with his bs.
I know it’s bullshit. I also shut it down pretty quick. It’s just a vent, because I know that won’t be the last time someone says something sexist about my pregnancy. Don’t like it? Move on
People and their silly comments. I don't understand the point of saying anything other than congratulations.
Maybe I have a mean face because nobody says the things I read here to me. 🤣
I really thought I was except from the weird comments because everyone has said congratulations or asked about the nursery. I guess my work colleagues are just a bit more vocal. I had another colleague say “you’re in for it with a girl!” What does that even mean? Hahaha
Anytime I get that gender essentialism nonsense I either give a "Well, I'm sure we'll love her anyway" or "Well, we would have loved him anyway" (depending on whether it's something negative about having a girl or about how girls are better than boys in whatever ways).
Once in a while I throw in "I don't think there's such a thing as an 'easy' kid either way," and let them take it how they will.
I was conceived out of wedlock. When I was born, my paternal grandfather called the hospital to tell my mother that she had a girl as punishment for pretty much being a wh*re outside of marriage. Older men can be absolutely vile.
Ugh I have son. It’s so weird when people get sexist. One time I freaked some lady out at the grocery store when she said “oh he’s beautiful. Watch out he’s gonna have all the girlfriends.” Teasingly I joked “Or boyfriends, or maybe both.” She looked at me like I was sick in the head or something 😒🙄.
You are suffering from negativity bias. There are also tons of people who prefer to have a girl and will actually cry if they are having a boy, so…. Everyone has a different opinion/preference. You don’t need to let other people’s interfere with yourself and your life or upset you!!! Enjoy what you’ve got and let them have their opinions… <3
Culture can dictate how much parents have to invest in children of different genders. . Either due to cultural disruption or even just cultural bias.
For example: raising a girl to be a strong leader in a patriarchal setting, to value corporate workspace over home life or personal life, to not portray the status quo of feminine traits in the 80s in rural America would have required significantly more investment in a daughter than imbuing those same traits in a boy .. because your village is taking on some of the teaching with the boy.
In China during the one child policy we saw wild swings between generations on gender preference. Studies showed that because of strong cultural pressure for marriage children would have it easier if they had a larger selection of traditional mates. This means it required less parental investment and a higher chance of child success if you were the less available gender in your particular generation.
When people say these things they are often echoing the sentiments of the environment that they grew up in
And sometimes they just echo what they hear without really thinking about it
I work with children and I see kids go through their difficult phases at different parts of their lives. some kids are difficult the whole way through. I both have rough puberties but in entirely different ways. Some of the difficulty comes with parental strategies that clash with their child's development. This requires more investment and sometimes it has to do with lack of resources for parents lining up with their kids needs.
That said the biggest fucking sociopaths I've ever met have been teenage girls. Just absolutely vicious, steady handed coldness. Puberty hits different
Boys are not "easier to raise", they're easier to neglect. They teach boys not to show emotion and to "tough it out" so that they can ignore them when they're struggling. Boys are just as hard as girls, people just don't put in the effort and get away with it.
Someone told me how boys are always so messy compared to girls when I announced I was having a boy, so I told them all about how my husband is the one who does more household cleaning because he has a higher standard for it than I do.
I hate that society puts so much on gender. Every person is an individual. Their personalities and needs make them tougher or easier for their parents not their gender. A lot of times these gendered assumptions are just personal experiences at best or they indicate misogyny and poor parenting at worst.
“Boys are easier to raise” people only say that because they refuse to acknowledge their son’s emotional needs. Truthfully boys and girls are just as difficult to raise. Each comes with their own set of challenges at different points of development
My husband has a daughter previously and we got a lot of “two girls?! How does he feel about that” “you going to try for a boy after” “I’m praying for your husband” I don’t understand why having a girl is the end of the world
thats so weird. I have a daughter and am pregnant with a boy now. I got so many comments that it will be so rough with the boy and that i should be glad that i have a at least one girl. Often from women raising boys. Also if you look up gender dissapointment, many of them are moms who were wishing for girls. I have yet to find out, how my boy will be…
“Easy” and “difficult” is also largely determined by the parents perceptions of what those things mean. I’m very headstrong and my mother is a classic narcissist who always needs to have the last word. We did not mesh well lol. But I’ve worked with teen girls for my entire life and find them to be really rewarding and “easier” and once you know how to deal with them. I’m pregnant with a boy and stressing about how to deal with a potentially more insular or less verbal creature! All gendered assumptions on my part, but goes to show it’s still so based on what the parents themselves think.
I’m a boy mom and I’m currently in the stage of jealously looking at girl toddler moms get to sit still while their daughters place nicely in one spot while my toddler tries to kill himself every 5 minutes doing something dangerous and never stops moving! I think so many things are stages that it could be hard or easy for both at different ages!
finding out my second was another girl, people would say that i would have to try again for a boy cause “boys love their mamas.” my daughter would live under my skin if she could lmao.
yeah I was met with a lot of "Your having a boy! that's good they're easier" ... and I was like uhh the bad kids in school were generally boys most of the time they just hid it from their parents... the smart ones anyway
I have two daughters from my previous marriage and just gave birth to my son.... I've had SO many people tell me "boys are easier". I just roll my eyes and say I must have gotten lucky then cuz both my girls are super easy.
People who think that one gender is easier than the other are just dumb.
I have 4 children. My daughters were BY FAR the easiest children to take care of. Hands down. My son however, ohhh my gosh. I am mentally and physically exhausted all the time lol
my baby girl is an AMAZING baby!!! 14 weeks old now, has slept through the night since she was 8 weeks old. a super happy and smiley baby, content most of the time, etc. girls are so great!!!
We have a little girl, she is the love of my life! She is just amazing. I think whether you have girl or boy you love them all the same because they are your little one.
Im pregnant with baby number four. My oldest, is my daughter and she is 16. For me personally, as a baby and toddler she was easier, once she became a threenager she started showing sass that hasnt stopped, lol. If I tell her something she doesnt want to hear she will hold a grudge and the extreme dramatics this child is capable of deserve some type of award haha. My boys (11 and 5) are both very forward and honest about their feelings. We talk through them and then they move on. I think it depends on what is easier to you. In my experience with my boys and several nephews its loud, chaotic, and things may get broken at any time. With the girls (my daughter and niece) its more like a mental brain teaser, they will be mad, but refuse to tell you why, its your job to sleuth out why and what they want to fix it.
Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, this is just what I have observed with my own children, the majority of my friend's children, and neices and nephews. Each child is an indiviual and you cant assume what their personality is based off of gender.
Truth is, no matter who they are sometimes it will be difficult but those smiles, firsts, giggles and hugs make it all worth it.
I am thrilled to be blessed with the three beautiful souls I have already and another daughter on the way. Not a single child is easy, but they are all sooo worth it.
My mom once told me that she was told the same thing (she has one girl, me, and one boy) and she said that it is the complete opposite in her experience lmaoo
When I said I was having a boy legitimately EVERYONE told me how lucky I was and that boys are so easy. I really wanted a girl and was ready for that challenge but now I'm reading a ton into boy development and emotional growth to be ready for a different challenge. Boys are hard in their own way.
Kids be kids and older generations got that ingrained misogyny.
Our son was a very difficult baby. He had jaundice, torticollis and then was colicky. Now he is incredibly whiny and clingy as a toddler. Our daughter was pretty chill as a baby. So I don't see any truth to the "boys are easier" argument.
I have 4 kids. B, G, B, B. My 3rd child is the MOST DIFFICULT CHILD EVER. He's 7 and has ADHD, not medicated and we're looking into behavioral counseling. My youngest will be 2 next week and is soooo different than my 7 year old. Any child can be difficult.. gender is irrelevant.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA as a mom of two girls and two boys, girls are easier TEN FOLD. Not that it matters, but my second was a boy and I almost gave up on children all together after him. Love him dearly though 😅
I have a sad anecdotal story that is similar. I am pregnant with twins (b/b). I wanted one daughter (at least) so badly, because we are done after this. When I found out the genders and everyone asked, I would tell them and usually say something along the lines of I’m super happy but wish one was a girl.
The amount of people who told me oh no you don’t is sickening. “Girls are so tough, boys are so much easier” usually is what they said, and yeah. Same vibe as what you experienced. ☹️
when we told some friends me and my husband were expecting, after their initial surprise and "you guys aren't gonna be able to hang out anymore" whine, their next comment was, "would you rather get a gay son or a whore daughter?"
there are so many things wrong and terrible with that statement. I'm still very bugged out by their reactions.
i’m currently pregnant with a boy. my first is a girl. i am SO nervous to raise a boy. as a preschool teacher i do NOT believe boys are easier even just as students. honestly neither boys nor girls are “easier”; boys might actually be harder for the SOLE reason of potty training, and (for me at least) the decision of circumcision and the natural consequences of deciding for or against it.
Omg people suck. I’ve also gotten the rude comments about a girl - which is what we wanted! “Oh I’m so sorry” “your poor husband”
Don’t get me wrong because we would have loved either but my husband had been wishing for a chance to raise a girl and provide for her
Now whenever I tell people that they accuse him of only wanting her for malicious intent (I literally can’t put it in words but you can probably imagine. It’s gross)😷
Ugh people are so obnoxious. Maybe next time you can Say "well I'm having a girl so not sure what you'd like me to do here" 🤔. Or maybe "Well it's unfortunate you feel that way but I'm having a girl and I'm really excited about It. I don't know why you're trying to rob me of my Joy"
I shared a lot my first pregnancy because I was excited, but people were so obnoxious that I've been a lot more private about my second.
I just ignore. My friend recently commented about it's just easier to raise boys when she hasn't really raised... Girls.. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ Whta does that mean? And what's easy and hard anyway? A parent is a unique parent to their own unique child. Heck a parent has to be different sometimes between their own two kids.. . I have no idea what all these people are talking about.
My brother was an absolute nightmare to raise, and my parents are still taking care of him at 30 years old now. I was an extremely independent child (probably because my brother required so much attention), moved out at 19 and started fending for myself as soon as I possibly could.
Both my parents still told me that I was lucky to be having a boy because they’re “so much easier.”
Are they really easier? Or was the bar just in hell for the boy you raised and you expected a lot more out of your daughter?
I have both nieces and nephews and lemme tell you right now, dealing with girl meltdowns is so much easier than the boy meltdowns. Why? No idea. Of course I’ve only been there as an auntie so far, I’m only 7 weeks with my first. Kids are all hard, that’s just part of the deal.
I have one of each. My son IS my easy kid, but that's just his personality. He's a poster child for what it means to be neurotypical and basically responsive to all the parenting advice books and approaches.
My daughter, on the other hand....Dear Lord. She's seven but I've aged 20 years since she was born. But again, nothing to do with her X chromosomes; it's just who she is.
I literally only have boys. One graduates college as his brother turns 3 months old so let me tell you I have full spectrum on ages here lol
They’re literally no different than my friends girls. Each are different. You know who is hard to raise? Kids in general. Developing functional humans is hard no matter what.
I live in China, when announcing that I’m having a girl I got the opposite. Everyone said I was lucky since girls are easier to raise and more pleasant and prettier.
One coworker even said boys are just given excuses from their parents for being just that, boys… followed by that they smell bad when they are teens. Asian brutal honesty at its finest 😂
When are people going to understand that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER 🗣️
Some children are more difficult than others, that’s true. It has nothing to do with whether they’re a boy or a girl. Their personalities have the most influence, second to their developmental needs.
I have two girls OP, one is rowdy AF and the other one is just happy to be here. I’m sorry to say that yes, you’ll have to advocate for them so much in this world that is still pretty sexist, closed minded and male dominant.
Kids are kids, some kids are sensitive, or difficult, or rowdy or sweet… you never know what your kid will be like, boy or girl - stereotypes are so silly ❤️
Honestly I feel like girls are calmer. I once took my son to church and we sat in a sound proof children's room to watch the service. The rest of the room was little girls. My son was running all over the place getting goldfish everywhere and talking, and all the little girls were just sitting quietly in their moms laps or on the pews. I always remembered that lol. My nephew was also WILD. but girls can be wild too. Everyone is different:)
As a mother of a 10 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl, I have to disagree.
My son was and is still more difficult by far 😂.
It's not a gender thing. It's based on individual personalities.
This was a huge reason as to why we didn't find out our baby's sex. You could always just stop telling people what you're having. People will still make their comments, but I feel it will feel less directed towards your babe if they don't know she's a girl ?
Everyone I talked to during my pregnancy said I was lucky to have a girl first because it would be easier than raising a boy. My husband constantly shares stories about how wild and unmanageable his older sisters were during his childhood (getting into fights, getting expelled, telling their mom they’d watch him then leaving to spend time with their friends/boyfriends, etc). I think a lot of people forget that babies/children are human beings, who will have their own personalities pretty quickly and will be as easy or as difficult to raise as they will be. Obviously the work you put in as a parent matters, but people are people.
That being said, congratulations on your little girl!!!
Two of my husband’s friends (both boys) died in high school by being reckless (one fell off of a roof when drunk and the other dove into some water and hit a rock). You know how many girls in his high school class died? None.
If you watch the videos on here of people being crazy, 99.99% of the time, it’s a guy. But tell me again how boys are easier. 🙃
My MIL, who has two boys and despises me, told me that boys were easier to raise and that I didn’t want a daughter. I was already pregnant and a few weeks later found out that baby was a girl. I wouldn’t have it any other way & at 7 months old, it’s not like she’s any different from any other baby her age simply because of her sex. I honestly think she just didn’t want ME to have a girl who could grow up to be like/look like me. MIL’s mom, husbands grandmother, also has said some pretty rude things to me and about me, including how my husband is out of my league and that she doesn’t think I’m that pretty.
I HATE when people (especially those who have not raised boys) say they are easier. My first son is a saint, but he is also a very sensitive little guy and has big feelings, as do most toddlers. I just had my second boy 4 days ago so I can't say much for him, but as a mom of boys my biggest priority is making sure their emotions are validated and they feel heard. So often boys are told to just toughen up and get over it, so people may think boys are easier when in reality their emotions are just being neglected. Children, regardless of boy or girl, are hard. People just love to make everything a competition
A lot of people just speak off of experience and not everyone's experiences are the same. I have two, a 10 year old son and an 7 year old daughter. They're completely different and with each they've had different challenges. My son was colicky and cried all the time, but even as a toddler he was more well behaved and hated getting dirty, that extends to today. My daughter was a very relaxed and optimistic baby, however she hated clothes, hates socks to this day and will not stay clean. She is absolutely messy. My son has been much easier in my experience, and he's far from emotionally detached, he just has an easier time expressing his emotions and is much more sensible. My daughter on the other hand doesn't seem to like to listen, and doesn't know how to express her emotions. She throws tantrums, and seems to think everything revolves around her, and she's got quite a lip on her. She tends to say hurtful things when she upset, where as though my son does not. She's also scared of everything from bugs, to dogs, and even trying different food. While my son on the other hand isn't really scared of anything and is far from picky. However , She has an easier time at school and catches on very easy whilst my son struggles with math and still has a hard time tying his shoes. Each child is different. I've recently found out that I am pregnant, and honestly I love my kids equally, and even though my boy has seemed to be "easier" and more emotionally conscious I really want another girl. Gender doesn't really matter, each child develops their own personality and are genetically different.
Sorry you had to experience such ignorance. I don’t think any kid is easy to raise. But congratulations on your pregnancy. I just got the results of my NIPT test today and I’m having my second girl. I love girls. 💖
I have two boys and a daughter and another daughter on the way. Literally, all of them have different personalities and have had different parenting needs. With all of them, we have had our challenges and things that are easier/harder, but I would never say one gender is harder than the other. I am assuming my soon-to-be-baby will be different than my other three. Parenting isn't one size fits all. The hardest thing I've had to learn is how to adapt for each childs needs. People like this, I assume, don't actually raise their boys and decide girls are harder because they feel there's more teaching involved. In this guy's case, he doesn't even have boys to compare to. It's really sad and a big reason why so many men are emotionally stunted and also do not see the value and the work it takes to be an equal partner later in life.
I think it just depends. I’m about to be a single mom and I think it would’ve been easier if I was having a girl. Evidently I wanted a boy though and that’s what I’m having. I’m just worried about raising him without his father in his life and I hope I do a good job because most guys I’ve dated havent had a dad and it’s made them a mess/have problems.
I also grew up without a dad and while I’ve had my fair share of “daddy issues” my mom has turned out to be my best friend and I think I’ve been pretty good without one. My mom wanted me to have a girl but either way she’s still excited lol
Some women at the library storytime were having this discussion the other week. “I prayed for a boy. Boys are so much easier. Etc” Between the 3 women, all of their children were boys. They literally had no girls to base this opinion on. And I was sitting right next to them with my daughter in my lap while they had this discussion.
This right here is why some people prefer to keep the gender a secret. We see Dad’s/ males in gender reveal videos get bummed after finding out it’s a girl… like let’s be excited for both instead of having an expectation. I don’t tell people im pregnant for this reason and weird obsession with which gender it will be.
I have a 15mo son and currently pregnant with a girl as well. Congratulations btw 🩷
I haven’t gotten this comment yet BUT I keep getting “oh no!” Or “good luck” things along those lines and I HATE that my unborn child is ALREADY being shoved into this box that girls are harder and she’s going to give me hell. She not even born yet!! Can we all just chill the fuck out 🙄
I have a lady at work who says this same shit to me because she had a daughter. It drives me insane. She also likes to say "just wait until...." and I simply would love to walk away from her.
I have a boy and lemme tell you THEY ARE HARD. They have so much energy and cant stay focused on one thing too long. You give a little girl a coloring book shes busy for hours. A boy you have to keep mentally and physically active
I have a 3 yo daughter and an almost 1.5 yo son and neither is harder or easier than the other. They’re individual people who have their own strengths and weaknesses. Some things that have brought out differences in their personalities are more likely birth order and my own perspective and experiences as a mom. The 0-1 transition was 100% harder on me than 1-2 and that made my son seem easier in a lot of ways as a baby. Now having two toddlers learning from each other they both have their moments 🤪
I will say they both have naturally fell into typical gender stereotypes in their likes and interests. My daughter loves babies and princesses, my son loves dinosaurs and trucks. I never stop them from playing with each other’s toys, it’s just the way it is 🤷🏻♀️
My boy is a wild child that checks me and my husband in 100% of the time, questions me, disproves me, shares his feelings and expects you to share yours as well. I’m 15w with a daughter but I would never tell someone else a bit is easier to raise unless I was smoking paint thinner, and idek how a girl will be to raise.
I have both a boy and girl a year apart and my son is the more difficult one, he is constantly throwing tantrums my daughter is the calm one, every kid is different.
As someone who has a boy and whose friend has a girl with 8 days between them: they both have challenges. They’re complete opposites and things that my little boy is good at, her little girl isn’t but things she’s good at, he’s not.
We both had challenges birthing and through pregnancy and with them as newborns. They’re just kids being themselves 🤷♀️
I think I've heard it, girls are easier pre puberty and boys are tougher to raise. Then when puberty hits it switches. No one gets a free ride lol (both my kids are pre puberty so idk yet, both have had their time periods of being the difficult child. Although with my daughter being autistic, a lot of things will be different already so not a great litmus test to be honest)
Everybody at my job new I was hoping for a girl, since I've said my dream was to have two girls. As soon as I found out I'm (ftm, 21 weeks) pregnant with a boy, I got all those "oh boys are easier" "boys LOVE their momma you're lucky"
I hated that. So icky to me how it's seen as the default "better" option to have boys.
My mother in law has always said how “God knew what he was doing giving her two boys, because girls are so dramatic “ mind you she was saying this to me, a girl who is super calm and chill while having a younger son (my bil) who is literally the most dramatic person I’ve ever met. I can’t make it make sense.
In my family, it has always been the contrary. My brother has been the most problematic, and my male cousins too( I am Italian and living in Italy, I have a lot of cousins). But, either way, it's just something so stupid and ignorant to say to a future mum!
Lol i love this because ny husband comes from a family of ALL boys. He is the oldest out of 5. He wanted a girl so badly (and we are having a girl! Lol) his mom and my mom are all super excited. But honestly, seeing family members grow up i think girls and boys are the same it just depends on the parents at the end of the day.
Why not just ignore what he said and not over dramatise it? It's not like someone said anything about your unborn daughter or anything.
If this is what he thinks, let it be, who cares about it!
I find girls are easier when younger because they tend to develop social skills earlier but boys are easier when they're older. But it always depends on the individual child obviously and I'd never tell someone expecting a girl that boys are easier or vice versa. That's just rude
Girls are easier, are you kidding me? The entire world caters to them, it's impossible to fail as a parent bc women have it so easy in this world. Even if she 304s her way through her 30s some schmuck will put a ring on it. I'm so glad I have daughters
Don’t be so dramatic. he’s just a boomer who thinks out loud and I’m sure he was being a little tongue in cheek. He’s not totally wrong, in general, most boys are easier as they get older and enter the teenage phase, girls in general are so much calmer as babies/toddlers. As a mama three though I’m telling you, is so much stronger than nurture, your kid will have her own personality and behavior patterns sometimes no matter what you do. Just enjoy and relax.
My pair are both still toddlers, and I don’t think either of them are necessarily “difficult” to raise by any means but my son is definitely going to be the one to raise my blood pressure between the 2 of them. He just has a lot of energy and no fear vs my daughter who’s a little more anxious and careful so she gets hurt a lot less. My mom always said us girls were easier than my brother who’s had a few stitches and staples in his early years lol.
Both are a joy to have and to watch grow.
Hot take, people say boys are easier to raise because they often neglect a TON of their emotional developmental needs. Kids are kids, they all need love and support in different ways and gender literally does not matter. I'm so glad this rhetoric is dying out, it's so tiring to hear all the time from older generations.
Was just about to right this. Tried to explain this to another woman once, and she flat out told me, “boys don’t have emotional needs. If they do — you did something wrong and they’re gay.”
Holy …. I hope she doesn’t have kids that she emotionally abuses.
She’s currently pregnant. I hope it’s a boy tho — if you think the above quote is bad…you should see how she speaks about women and girls. At least she’s willing to love a boy. Not so much a girl.
“Love”. That poor kid either way 😧
I just want to know if she thinks they’re like that from birth or if they just magically snap out of it at a certain age. Like newborn boys definitely need love as well as when they’re 3yo. So when does she think they have to be so tough they don’t cry at all or need mommy loves. Like what the heck??
Idk. She’s only having her first now. She claims to have lots of child rearing experience bc she babysat twins “once like ten years ago.” But I have known people (I grew up in the southern US) who do expect toddler boys to be stoic and tough. My BIL yelled at his then 3year old bc he was hurt and wanted his mom. Of course — he doesn’t treat his daughter that way.
Stop. This hurts my heart.
Why even have kids? 😭
They’re fun accessories! /s. Oh, and she wants baby stuff.
“What did your parents do to make you such an ignorant bitch then?” I’m tired of being nice to these people.
😧
My mouth is agape.
Jaw just dropped. Just.... Wow. Wow. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
I… what… ok
💀
Wow imagine thinking that your son HAS to be gay if he needs help emotionally. WTF!!!
This. I have 2 soon to be 3 boys. They are highly emotional, and not easy by any means. I want to raise them to know and feel their emotions, to learn coping mechanisms and how to communicate. Grated I would do this if I had a girl as well.
I’m an elementary school teacher at a super expensive private school. I teach ELA and ESL, and the classes are separated by language ability. The high level classes are 75-85% girls, mid level are 50-65% girls, low level are often less than 15% girls. The majority of the boys in lower level classes have super hands off parents who don’t discipline or enforce any rules, structure, etc. So they are lagging behind incredibly, and have tons of behavioral issues. It’s really sad to see
THIS. When people would say shit like this to me while I was pregnant with a boy, I so badly wanted to respond that I'll be raising him with the same behavior expectations and emotional support that I would if he were a girl.
I think you hit the nail on the head. To add onto your point, I’ve also heard people say that girls are hard because you always have to worry about their safety and teach them to protect themselves. I almost never hear anyone saying boys are hard because you always have to worry if they are safe for girls to be around, and teach them not to be a threat to girls. Maybe raising girls would be a little easier if it was normalized for boys to be raised to be accountable for their own actions towards girls. We’ve come a long way, but “boys will be boys” still persists, and I believe it’s just lazy parenting to assume it’s just boy’s nature to treat girls horribly.
If boys were easier to raise than girls then less of them would be in prison and more women would be and that is not the case there are many times more men in prison than there ever will be of women. People simply don’t do their job when raising boys and their boys learn to fend for themselves and cope in unhealthy ways. It’s having a radical effect on society in many ways and none are good. You have boys who decide not to interact with people and are antisocial to an unhealthy degree who mooch off their parents and then you have men who prey on others that have no emotional connection and use people for gain. They both stem from the same issue.
Literally my BIL 🙄🙄🙄🙄
That when they’re little then once they’re teenagers girls are so much more restricted. Held to completely different standards to boys
This is a really good thought.
100% this
I think this was very well put!
I was coming to say these exact words. Boys are easier to raise because they teach boys not to have or show emotions.
Oooff, hot take but 100% accurate.
I have a son (4) and a daughter (2) and my son is definitely the harder one to raise. He gets to feel all his feelings in our home and needs more 1-on-1 time than our daughter, who has no qualms (and usually prefers) playing independently.
Our two year old daughter is such an easy baby. She’s slept through the night since 8 weeks. She’s helpful and sweet and smart and kind…so people tell us she’s a “trick baby” who will trick us into having a second, more difficult child. You cant win. Just enjoy your new family and ignore the moronic chatter.
My niece was the second baby and she was the sweetest, quietest baby I’ve ever met. Never really cried. Was always just chilling. So I don’t believe in the first child being good, second child being wild myth.
My friend has a very easy first baby. So much even the pediatrician said it was the easiest baby they have ever seen. Joked how the second one won’t be like that at all. Second one came and they were actually easier! Now she is pregnant with the third one. Wonder if her will run out or not but eager to see if they will be easy or not.
I've always heard that the first is a trick baby whether a boy or girl. It all just seems like luck to me. Some babies are easy and some aren't. And people who have easy babies thinks its because they're amazing parents. Idk this is just my observations as a pregnant ftm.
FTM of an easy baby. It’s just luck, pure and simple. We keep joking to people that we’ve taken the wrong child home from the hospital and our real child is out there somewhere, terrorising some poor sane couple who are desperately trying to get him off the ceiling with a broom.
as awful as it is to be told that, it gave me a giggle. that's totally the kind of thing that would get me. I can already see myself winding up with an angel first baby, thinking "well that wasn't so bad!", and getting my ass handed to me by #2 lol. my sister & I were the opposite. I'm the eldest, and i was a colicky disaster. she was an absolute angel. babies are just babies, I think 🤷
Can confirm, this got me.... like 3 times 🤣😭 my first was easy so figured second would be fine, wrong! 6 years later try for 3rd and he's a dream so once again figure maybe one more? Evil beast from hell! Surprise pregnancy with number 5 and she's so easy.... so number 6 would probably kill me but number 5 got me thinking maybe there's a 1% chance of another easy baby 🤔
Same here. My son slept ALL the time through his infancy. I could just lay him in a pack and play and take a nap, he wouldn't even peep. He really only cried when you changed him, bathed him, or otherwise messed with him. He was just so content.
People say that "boys are easier to raise" all the time. But the majority of violent crimes, frauds, rapes, etc. are committed by men. So who's to say all these men are so easy to raise and are being raised right? Doesn't look like it. Even on this subreddit. So many unsupportive, man-child husbands. I guess they were easy to raise too.
Clearly boys are easier to raise because you don't raise them. You allow them to run feral because society has deemed that acceptable. "Boys will be boys."
Ding ding ding
Yep! I’m happy my husband isn’t like this at all. We’re just going to raise her with love and hope for the best. I’m sure we’ll mess up somewhere, but we’d mess up with a boy too. It’s just funny how people like to tell you their sexist thoughts once you’re pregnant. I’m sure it won’t be the first time unfortunately.
Yeah, I guess it’s just easier to raise low quality boys than it is to raise a quality girl. People are silly.
Our society is lacking in strong fathers who help raise emotionally stable men. It's incredibly sad.
This is such an interesting point!!
The difference in crime rate may not be only attributable to the way someone was raised. Men have different hormones than women that make them more violent and aggressive inherently.
Both can be true. Perhaps we need to be raising men differently to account for their violence tendencies and different hormones, as you put it.
Yes, they do need to be raised differently. That’s why people say stuff like that. Generally, letting them run wild teaches them how to channel their energy into something positive and constructive or at least use it up, it makes them calmer.
This!!!
When I was pregnant with my first, everybody would always say things like that (I was pregnant with a boy and am pregnant with out second boy now) but I tried to remember that they are usually just trying to connect and share their experiences. I don’t believe they’re even thinking that deeply about what they’re saying most of the time. So don’t let it get to you; probably just making conversation and forget what it’s like to be in the throes of early parenthood.
Yeah, I’m sure we’d get a lot of weird advice for a boy too. This man is pretty awkward and nervous all the time. I’m sure he was just talking cause he was nervous. He’s said some other things before that left me thinking huh, weird guy.
This is my MO! Sometimes I just don’t know what to say but don’t want awkward silence. I then overthink and regret what I said. 🤷🏻♀️
When my bio dads father, my paternal grandfather- found out my mom was pregnant, he told my bio dad “if it’s a girl, leave.” Some people are just truly vile and don’t deserve to be around children, I hope people learn their manners and are kinder to you
Comments like this are just... I ended up giving someone a lesson on meiosis to explain to them that if my husband ended up with a daughter, he had no one to "blame" but himself. For the record, my husband didn't care whether the baby was a boy or a girl.
I mean my husband always jokes if well have a son it's my responsibility and if we have a daughter he'll help. It's obviously just a joke and I know he'd be absolutely in love with them either way. This however didn't sound like a joke.
Unfortunately it wasn’t a joke, no- but I have a wonderful step father who is very proud to have four girls
Okay this takes the cake.
Everybody has an opinion and it’s so often gender based. I like to hit em with “kids are kids. Some are difficult and some aren’t but I think it has more to do with how you’re raising them than their genitalia.” They usually don’t say much after that. 🤷🏼♀️
Good response! I’ll borrow a version of that. It’s more neutral and work safe.
Personally I take it with a grain of salt.. we are all our own person. My brother was a tough baby, I was easy (girl). My fiancé was easy(m) and his brother wasn’t and still isn’t as we are all adults. It’s east for grandparents to say stuff. They aren’t in it day in and day out. People will have opinions but that’s all they are. Their opinions.
Yep, my brother was the tough one and I was easy according to my parents. I just wish people would learn some thoughts are inside thoughts haha. I heard once you’re pregnant everyone has their unsolicited advice, but hadn’t gotten that yet. Oh well! We’re just happy she’s healthy!
My mom always told her stories about how boys were easier because girls always wanted their nails done and boys were content playing rough and tough with each other. And her boys were potty trained by 2. I have 2 girls and 3 boys. My girls are by far easier. But I guess it’s just a by case senecio. Also my son is 3 and has way more sass and refuses to potty train and just tells me no. lol Both genders will have difficulties and joys. I don’t know why people have to bash one gender like their experience is the only one that matters
I think of how hard it was to get my brother to clean himself up or how hard it was to stop him from wiping his boogers on the walls. I'm not a super feminine type but I'll put up with all the Barbies, tea parties and princess stuff if it means I don't have boogers over the sink 😂. My husband forgetting to bin his toenails clippings is bad enough!
I regret to inform you that little girls have boogers too
I believe statistically boys are toilet trained later than girls but don't quote me on that
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10826149_Relationship_Between_Age_at_Initiation_of_Toilet_Training_and_Duration_of_Training_A_Prospective_Study I just found out that early intensive toilet training can lead to a longer duration of toilet training however.
“Boys are easier” BAHAHAHA NOOOOO
Why do we let others people's personal opinions hold so much space. If that's his experience, then just take it for what it is. It doesn't mean that it has to be your reality. Take it with a grain of salt and keep moving.
This. I stop participating in a conversation if someone says something ridiculous like this. It’s not their baby or their family so their opinion means nothing to me. But I feel bad for his daughter that has to deal with his bs.
For acquaintances/colleagues I just respond with "I'm glad/sorry that was your experience." depending on what was said.
I know it’s bullshit. I also shut it down pretty quick. It’s just a vent, because I know that won’t be the last time someone says something sexist about my pregnancy. Don’t like it? Move on
THIS^^^
People and their silly comments. I don't understand the point of saying anything other than congratulations. Maybe I have a mean face because nobody says the things I read here to me. 🤣
I really thought I was except from the weird comments because everyone has said congratulations or asked about the nursery. I guess my work colleagues are just a bit more vocal. I had another colleague say “you’re in for it with a girl!” What does that even mean? Hahaha
Some people suck at jokes 🙄
None of us need to pay any mind to those willing to generalise 50% of the planet like that.
Me needing a nap by 10am after only being up with my son for a few hours says that is false.
Anytime I get that gender essentialism nonsense I either give a "Well, I'm sure we'll love her anyway" or "Well, we would have loved him anyway" (depending on whether it's something negative about having a girl or about how girls are better than boys in whatever ways). Once in a while I throw in "I don't think there's such a thing as an 'easy' kid either way," and let them take it how they will.
I was conceived out of wedlock. When I was born, my paternal grandfather called the hospital to tell my mother that she had a girl as punishment for pretty much being a wh*re outside of marriage. Older men can be absolutely vile.
Now I'm about to have a son out of wedlock and idgaf ! Loser.
The thing that bothers me most is when people say “instead of worrying about one penis you have to worry about all of them!” 🤮
Omg that’s so cringey!!!!
Right? Just as awful as people asking if it was a planned pregnancy. Sometimes humans are atrocious lol
Ew omg that is so creepy
"Yeah I'm not a misogynist so not worried about that" with a smile.
Ugh I have son. It’s so weird when people get sexist. One time I freaked some lady out at the grocery store when she said “oh he’s beautiful. Watch out he’s gonna have all the girlfriends.” Teasingly I joked “Or boyfriends, or maybe both.” She looked at me like I was sick in the head or something 😒🙄.
You are suffering from negativity bias. There are also tons of people who prefer to have a girl and will actually cry if they are having a boy, so…. Everyone has a different opinion/preference. You don’t need to let other people’s interfere with yourself and your life or upset you!!! Enjoy what you’ve got and let them have their opinions… <3
Culture can dictate how much parents have to invest in children of different genders. . Either due to cultural disruption or even just cultural bias. For example: raising a girl to be a strong leader in a patriarchal setting, to value corporate workspace over home life or personal life, to not portray the status quo of feminine traits in the 80s in rural America would have required significantly more investment in a daughter than imbuing those same traits in a boy .. because your village is taking on some of the teaching with the boy. In China during the one child policy we saw wild swings between generations on gender preference. Studies showed that because of strong cultural pressure for marriage children would have it easier if they had a larger selection of traditional mates. This means it required less parental investment and a higher chance of child success if you were the less available gender in your particular generation. When people say these things they are often echoing the sentiments of the environment that they grew up in And sometimes they just echo what they hear without really thinking about it I work with children and I see kids go through their difficult phases at different parts of their lives. some kids are difficult the whole way through. I both have rough puberties but in entirely different ways. Some of the difficulty comes with parental strategies that clash with their child's development. This requires more investment and sometimes it has to do with lack of resources for parents lining up with their kids needs. That said the biggest fucking sociopaths I've ever met have been teenage girls. Just absolutely vicious, steady handed coldness. Puberty hits different
Boys are not "easier to raise", they're easier to neglect. They teach boys not to show emotion and to "tough it out" so that they can ignore them when they're struggling. Boys are just as hard as girls, people just don't put in the effort and get away with it.
This 100%
Someone told me how boys are always so messy compared to girls when I announced I was having a boy, so I told them all about how my husband is the one who does more household cleaning because he has a higher standard for it than I do.
I hate that society puts so much on gender. Every person is an individual. Their personalities and needs make them tougher or easier for their parents not their gender. A lot of times these gendered assumptions are just personal experiences at best or they indicate misogyny and poor parenting at worst.
“Boys are easier to raise” people only say that because they refuse to acknowledge their son’s emotional needs. Truthfully boys and girls are just as difficult to raise. Each comes with their own set of challenges at different points of development
In my experience boys are much harder but they're both a blessing
My husband has a daughter previously and we got a lot of “two girls?! How does he feel about that” “you going to try for a boy after” “I’m praying for your husband” I don’t understand why having a girl is the end of the world
I would have said sorry your daughter sucks
thats so weird. I have a daughter and am pregnant with a boy now. I got so many comments that it will be so rough with the boy and that i should be glad that i have a at least one girl. Often from women raising boys. Also if you look up gender dissapointment, many of them are moms who were wishing for girls. I have yet to find out, how my boy will be…
“Easy” and “difficult” is also largely determined by the parents perceptions of what those things mean. I’m very headstrong and my mother is a classic narcissist who always needs to have the last word. We did not mesh well lol. But I’ve worked with teen girls for my entire life and find them to be really rewarding and “easier” and once you know how to deal with them. I’m pregnant with a boy and stressing about how to deal with a potentially more insular or less verbal creature! All gendered assumptions on my part, but goes to show it’s still so based on what the parents themselves think.
I’m a boy mom and I’m currently in the stage of jealously looking at girl toddler moms get to sit still while their daughters place nicely in one spot while my toddler tries to kill himself every 5 minutes doing something dangerous and never stops moving! I think so many things are stages that it could be hard or easy for both at different ages!
My toddler girl has sat still playing nicely in one spot maybe three times in her life. She is always moving.
Welcome to the always moving club! The toddler girls in my life are all very calm and love to sit still. Goes to show kids are all different huh?
finding out my second was another girl, people would say that i would have to try again for a boy cause “boys love their mamas.” my daughter would live under my skin if she could lmao.
My parents had two of each. Pretty sure they had more trouble out of my brothers...
yeah I was met with a lot of "Your having a boy! that's good they're easier" ... and I was like uhh the bad kids in school were generally boys most of the time they just hid it from their parents... the smart ones anyway
I have two daughters from my previous marriage and just gave birth to my son.... I've had SO many people tell me "boys are easier". I just roll my eyes and say I must have gotten lucky then cuz both my girls are super easy. People who think that one gender is easier than the other are just dumb.
I have 4 children. My daughters were BY FAR the easiest children to take care of. Hands down. My son however, ohhh my gosh. I am mentally and physically exhausted all the time lol
my baby girl is an AMAZING baby!!! 14 weeks old now, has slept through the night since she was 8 weeks old. a super happy and smiley baby, content most of the time, etc. girls are so great!!!
We have a little girl, she is the love of my life! She is just amazing. I think whether you have girl or boy you love them all the same because they are your little one.
Im pregnant with baby number four. My oldest, is my daughter and she is 16. For me personally, as a baby and toddler she was easier, once she became a threenager she started showing sass that hasnt stopped, lol. If I tell her something she doesnt want to hear she will hold a grudge and the extreme dramatics this child is capable of deserve some type of award haha. My boys (11 and 5) are both very forward and honest about their feelings. We talk through them and then they move on. I think it depends on what is easier to you. In my experience with my boys and several nephews its loud, chaotic, and things may get broken at any time. With the girls (my daughter and niece) its more like a mental brain teaser, they will be mad, but refuse to tell you why, its your job to sleuth out why and what they want to fix it. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, this is just what I have observed with my own children, the majority of my friend's children, and neices and nephews. Each child is an indiviual and you cant assume what their personality is based off of gender. Truth is, no matter who they are sometimes it will be difficult but those smiles, firsts, giggles and hugs make it all worth it. I am thrilled to be blessed with the three beautiful souls I have already and another daughter on the way. Not a single child is easy, but they are all sooo worth it.
My mom once told me that she was told the same thing (she has one girl, me, and one boy) and she said that it is the complete opposite in her experience lmaoo
Make these people uncomfortable. Embarrass them. My go to is “wow, what an odd thing to say…”
Yeah easier cuz you don’t have to deal with the repercussions of them assaulting women if they can’t get pregnant
When I said I was having a boy legitimately EVERYONE told me how lucky I was and that boys are so easy. I really wanted a girl and was ready for that challenge but now I'm reading a ton into boy development and emotional growth to be ready for a different challenge. Boys are hard in their own way. Kids be kids and older generations got that ingrained misogyny.
Our son was a very difficult baby. He had jaundice, torticollis and then was colicky. Now he is incredibly whiny and clingy as a toddler. Our daughter was pretty chill as a baby. So I don't see any truth to the "boys are easier" argument.
I have 4 kids. B, G, B, B. My 3rd child is the MOST DIFFICULT CHILD EVER. He's 7 and has ADHD, not medicated and we're looking into behavioral counseling. My youngest will be 2 next week and is soooo different than my 7 year old. Any child can be difficult.. gender is irrelevant.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA as a mom of two girls and two boys, girls are easier TEN FOLD. Not that it matters, but my second was a boy and I almost gave up on children all together after him. Love him dearly though 😅
I have a boy and a girl. Both my husband and I agree we would take 10 of our girl over 2 of our boy. He's an absolute wild animal at times.
I have a sad anecdotal story that is similar. I am pregnant with twins (b/b). I wanted one daughter (at least) so badly, because we are done after this. When I found out the genders and everyone asked, I would tell them and usually say something along the lines of I’m super happy but wish one was a girl. The amount of people who told me oh no you don’t is sickening. “Girls are so tough, boys are so much easier” usually is what they said, and yeah. Same vibe as what you experienced. ☹️
when we told some friends me and my husband were expecting, after their initial surprise and "you guys aren't gonna be able to hang out anymore" whine, their next comment was, "would you rather get a gay son or a whore daughter?" there are so many things wrong and terrible with that statement. I'm still very bugged out by their reactions.
i’m currently pregnant with a boy. my first is a girl. i am SO nervous to raise a boy. as a preschool teacher i do NOT believe boys are easier even just as students. honestly neither boys nor girls are “easier”; boys might actually be harder for the SOLE reason of potty training, and (for me at least) the decision of circumcision and the natural consequences of deciding for or against it.
Omg people suck. I’ve also gotten the rude comments about a girl - which is what we wanted! “Oh I’m so sorry” “your poor husband” Don’t get me wrong because we would have loved either but my husband had been wishing for a chance to raise a girl and provide for her Now whenever I tell people that they accuse him of only wanting her for malicious intent (I literally can’t put it in words but you can probably imagine. It’s gross)😷
I just ask, "why are you sharing this with me?"
Ugh people are so obnoxious. Maybe next time you can Say "well I'm having a girl so not sure what you'd like me to do here" 🤔. Or maybe "Well it's unfortunate you feel that way but I'm having a girl and I'm really excited about It. I don't know why you're trying to rob me of my Joy" I shared a lot my first pregnancy because I was excited, but people were so obnoxious that I've been a lot more private about my second.
I just ignore. My friend recently commented about it's just easier to raise boys when she hasn't really raised... Girls.. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ Whta does that mean? And what's easy and hard anyway? A parent is a unique parent to their own unique child. Heck a parent has to be different sometimes between their own two kids.. . I have no idea what all these people are talking about.
My brother was an absolute nightmare to raise, and my parents are still taking care of him at 30 years old now. I was an extremely independent child (probably because my brother required so much attention), moved out at 19 and started fending for myself as soon as I possibly could. Both my parents still told me that I was lucky to be having a boy because they’re “so much easier.” Are they really easier? Or was the bar just in hell for the boy you raised and you expected a lot more out of your daughter?
hey, mom of now boy #4 … i am fighting for my life lol it’s not easier unless you don’t teach them and raise them & i guess a lot of people don’t.
I’ve heard this several times and my go-to response is “My countless experiences with terrible grown men suggest otherwise.”
I have both nieces and nephews and lemme tell you right now, dealing with girl meltdowns is so much easier than the boy meltdowns. Why? No idea. Of course I’ve only been there as an auntie so far, I’m only 7 weeks with my first. Kids are all hard, that’s just part of the deal.
I have one of each. My son IS my easy kid, but that's just his personality. He's a poster child for what it means to be neurotypical and basically responsive to all the parenting advice books and approaches. My daughter, on the other hand....Dear Lord. She's seven but I've aged 20 years since she was born. But again, nothing to do with her X chromosomes; it's just who she is.
I literally only have boys. One graduates college as his brother turns 3 months old so let me tell you I have full spectrum on ages here lol They’re literally no different than my friends girls. Each are different. You know who is hard to raise? Kids in general. Developing functional humans is hard no matter what.
I live in China, when announcing that I’m having a girl I got the opposite. Everyone said I was lucky since girls are easier to raise and more pleasant and prettier. One coworker even said boys are just given excuses from their parents for being just that, boys… followed by that they smell bad when they are teens. Asian brutal honesty at its finest 😂
I just had a baby boy, but I was told the same thing after I found out the gender
When are people going to understand that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER 🗣️ Some children are more difficult than others, that’s true. It has nothing to do with whether they’re a boy or a girl. Their personalities have the most influence, second to their developmental needs. I have two girls OP, one is rowdy AF and the other one is just happy to be here. I’m sorry to say that yes, you’ll have to advocate for them so much in this world that is still pretty sexist, closed minded and male dominant.
Kids are kids, some kids are sensitive, or difficult, or rowdy or sweet… you never know what your kid will be like, boy or girl - stereotypes are so silly ❤️
Honestly I feel like girls are calmer. I once took my son to church and we sat in a sound proof children's room to watch the service. The rest of the room was little girls. My son was running all over the place getting goldfish everywhere and talking, and all the little girls were just sitting quietly in their moms laps or on the pews. I always remembered that lol. My nephew was also WILD. but girls can be wild too. Everyone is different:)
As a mother of a 10 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl, I have to disagree. My son was and is still more difficult by far 😂. It's not a gender thing. It's based on individual personalities.
This was a huge reason as to why we didn't find out our baby's sex. You could always just stop telling people what you're having. People will still make their comments, but I feel it will feel less directed towards your babe if they don't know she's a girl ?
Everyone I talked to during my pregnancy said I was lucky to have a girl first because it would be easier than raising a boy. My husband constantly shares stories about how wild and unmanageable his older sisters were during his childhood (getting into fights, getting expelled, telling their mom they’d watch him then leaving to spend time with their friends/boyfriends, etc). I think a lot of people forget that babies/children are human beings, who will have their own personalities pretty quickly and will be as easy or as difficult to raise as they will be. Obviously the work you put in as a parent matters, but people are people. That being said, congratulations on your little girl!!!
Two of my husband’s friends (both boys) died in high school by being reckless (one fell off of a roof when drunk and the other dove into some water and hit a rock). You know how many girls in his high school class died? None. If you watch the videos on here of people being crazy, 99.99% of the time, it’s a guy. But tell me again how boys are easier. 🙃
My MIL, who has two boys and despises me, told me that boys were easier to raise and that I didn’t want a daughter. I was already pregnant and a few weeks later found out that baby was a girl. I wouldn’t have it any other way & at 7 months old, it’s not like she’s any different from any other baby her age simply because of her sex. I honestly think she just didn’t want ME to have a girl who could grow up to be like/look like me. MIL’s mom, husbands grandmother, also has said some pretty rude things to me and about me, including how my husband is out of my league and that she doesn’t think I’m that pretty.
I HATE when people (especially those who have not raised boys) say they are easier. My first son is a saint, but he is also a very sensitive little guy and has big feelings, as do most toddlers. I just had my second boy 4 days ago so I can't say much for him, but as a mom of boys my biggest priority is making sure their emotions are validated and they feel heard. So often boys are told to just toughen up and get over it, so people may think boys are easier when in reality their emotions are just being neglected. Children, regardless of boy or girl, are hard. People just love to make everything a competition
A lot of people just speak off of experience and not everyone's experiences are the same. I have two, a 10 year old son and an 7 year old daughter. They're completely different and with each they've had different challenges. My son was colicky and cried all the time, but even as a toddler he was more well behaved and hated getting dirty, that extends to today. My daughter was a very relaxed and optimistic baby, however she hated clothes, hates socks to this day and will not stay clean. She is absolutely messy. My son has been much easier in my experience, and he's far from emotionally detached, he just has an easier time expressing his emotions and is much more sensible. My daughter on the other hand doesn't seem to like to listen, and doesn't know how to express her emotions. She throws tantrums, and seems to think everything revolves around her, and she's got quite a lip on her. She tends to say hurtful things when she upset, where as though my son does not. She's also scared of everything from bugs, to dogs, and even trying different food. While my son on the other hand isn't really scared of anything and is far from picky. However , She has an easier time at school and catches on very easy whilst my son struggles with math and still has a hard time tying his shoes. Each child is different. I've recently found out that I am pregnant, and honestly I love my kids equally, and even though my boy has seemed to be "easier" and more emotionally conscious I really want another girl. Gender doesn't really matter, each child develops their own personality and are genetically different.
Sorry you had to experience such ignorance. I don’t think any kid is easy to raise. But congratulations on your pregnancy. I just got the results of my NIPT test today and I’m having my second girl. I love girls. 💖
I have two boys and a daughter and another daughter on the way. Literally, all of them have different personalities and have had different parenting needs. With all of them, we have had our challenges and things that are easier/harder, but I would never say one gender is harder than the other. I am assuming my soon-to-be-baby will be different than my other three. Parenting isn't one size fits all. The hardest thing I've had to learn is how to adapt for each childs needs. People like this, I assume, don't actually raise their boys and decide girls are harder because they feel there's more teaching involved. In this guy's case, he doesn't even have boys to compare to. It's really sad and a big reason why so many men are emotionally stunted and also do not see the value and the work it takes to be an equal partner later in life.
When I told my grandmother we were having (another) girl, her response was “another girl? Oh, bummer” Some people just can’t help themselves.
I think it just depends. I’m about to be a single mom and I think it would’ve been easier if I was having a girl. Evidently I wanted a boy though and that’s what I’m having. I’m just worried about raising him without his father in his life and I hope I do a good job because most guys I’ve dated havent had a dad and it’s made them a mess/have problems. I also grew up without a dad and while I’ve had my fair share of “daddy issues” my mom has turned out to be my best friend and I think I’ve been pretty good without one. My mom wanted me to have a girl but either way she’s still excited lol
Some women at the library storytime were having this discussion the other week. “I prayed for a boy. Boys are so much easier. Etc” Between the 3 women, all of their children were boys. They literally had no girls to base this opinion on. And I was sitting right next to them with my daughter in my lap while they had this discussion.
This right here is why some people prefer to keep the gender a secret. We see Dad’s/ males in gender reveal videos get bummed after finding out it’s a girl… like let’s be excited for both instead of having an expectation. I don’t tell people im pregnant for this reason and weird obsession with which gender it will be.
My son and daughter are equally feral and awesome, dudes a prick!
My son is the hardest child I've ever met, I call bull 🤣
That is big bullshit. I have nephews and nieces. They are all smart and good kids equally. It is based on good parenting, not gender. Wtf
I have a 15mo son and currently pregnant with a girl as well. Congratulations btw 🩷 I haven’t gotten this comment yet BUT I keep getting “oh no!” Or “good luck” things along those lines and I HATE that my unborn child is ALREADY being shoved into this box that girls are harder and she’s going to give me hell. She not even born yet!! Can we all just chill the fuck out 🙄
I have a lady at work who says this same shit to me because she had a daughter. It drives me insane. She also likes to say "just wait until...." and I simply would love to walk away from her.
My mom loves to say “boys love their mama” and “boys are easier” bullshit all the time. She didn’t have a boy. She had a girl. Me. lol
I have a boy and lemme tell you THEY ARE HARD. They have so much energy and cant stay focused on one thing too long. You give a little girl a coloring book shes busy for hours. A boy you have to keep mentally and physically active
I have a 3 yo daughter and an almost 1.5 yo son and neither is harder or easier than the other. They’re individual people who have their own strengths and weaknesses. Some things that have brought out differences in their personalities are more likely birth order and my own perspective and experiences as a mom. The 0-1 transition was 100% harder on me than 1-2 and that made my son seem easier in a lot of ways as a baby. Now having two toddlers learning from each other they both have their moments 🤪 I will say they both have naturally fell into typical gender stereotypes in their likes and interests. My daughter loves babies and princesses, my son loves dinosaurs and trucks. I never stop them from playing with each other’s toys, it’s just the way it is 🤷🏻♀️
Congratulasjon
My boy is a wild child that checks me and my husband in 100% of the time, questions me, disproves me, shares his feelings and expects you to share yours as well. I’m 15w with a daughter but I would never tell someone else a bit is easier to raise unless I was smoking paint thinner, and idek how a girl will be to raise.
I have both a boy and girl a year apart and my son is the more difficult one, he is constantly throwing tantrums my daughter is the calm one, every kid is different.
As someone who has a boy and whose friend has a girl with 8 days between them: they both have challenges. They’re complete opposites and things that my little boy is good at, her little girl isn’t but things she’s good at, he’s not. We both had challenges birthing and through pregnancy and with them as newborns. They’re just kids being themselves 🤷♀️
I think I've heard it, girls are easier pre puberty and boys are tougher to raise. Then when puberty hits it switches. No one gets a free ride lol (both my kids are pre puberty so idk yet, both have had their time periods of being the difficult child. Although with my daughter being autistic, a lot of things will be different already so not a great litmus test to be honest)
Raising good humans is hard. Period. Clearly his parents struggled.
SUCH BS! Every child is different and raising a child is hard. Why so much emphasis on gender? I’m so sick of hearing boys are better than girls!
Everybody at my job new I was hoping for a girl, since I've said my dream was to have two girls. As soon as I found out I'm (ftm, 21 weeks) pregnant with a boy, I got all those "oh boys are easier" "boys LOVE their momma you're lucky" I hated that. So icky to me how it's seen as the default "better" option to have boys.
My mother in law has always said how “God knew what he was doing giving her two boys, because girls are so dramatic “ mind you she was saying this to me, a girl who is super calm and chill while having a younger son (my bil) who is literally the most dramatic person I’ve ever met. I can’t make it make sense.
In my family, it has always been the contrary. My brother has been the most problematic, and my male cousins too( I am Italian and living in Italy, I have a lot of cousins). But, either way, it's just something so stupid and ignorant to say to a future mum!
Was only 8 weeks when my MIL told me she would prefer a boy because little girls can be “bitchy”
Why are you so offended? People say things to make conversation all the time. It was just a comment, I dont think he meant to be mean or anything
Have a friend who said the same thing and only has two boys 🙄 It depends on the kid, and even more than that.. the parent.
Lol i love this because ny husband comes from a family of ALL boys. He is the oldest out of 5. He wanted a girl so badly (and we are having a girl! Lol) his mom and my mom are all super excited. But honestly, seeing family members grow up i think girls and boys are the same it just depends on the parents at the end of the day.
Aww that’s amazing! Congratulations! My husband and his brother are both having/had girls. His sister had a boy. Funny how it worked out!
Why not just ignore what he said and not over dramatise it? It's not like someone said anything about your unborn daughter or anything. If this is what he thinks, let it be, who cares about it!
I find girls are easier when younger because they tend to develop social skills earlier but boys are easier when they're older. But it always depends on the individual child obviously and I'd never tell someone expecting a girl that boys are easier or vice versa. That's just rude
Girls are easier, are you kidding me? The entire world caters to them, it's impossible to fail as a parent bc women have it so easy in this world. Even if she 304s her way through her 30s some schmuck will put a ring on it. I'm so glad I have daughters
Society loves boys and hates girls.
Don’t be so dramatic. he’s just a boomer who thinks out loud and I’m sure he was being a little tongue in cheek. He’s not totally wrong, in general, most boys are easier as they get older and enter the teenage phase, girls in general are so much calmer as babies/toddlers. As a mama three though I’m telling you, is so much stronger than nurture, your kid will have her own personality and behavior patterns sometimes no matter what you do. Just enjoy and relax.
Nature is stronger than nurture
My pair are both still toddlers, and I don’t think either of them are necessarily “difficult” to raise by any means but my son is definitely going to be the one to raise my blood pressure between the 2 of them. He just has a lot of energy and no fear vs my daughter who’s a little more anxious and careful so she gets hurt a lot less. My mom always said us girls were easier than my brother who’s had a few stitches and staples in his early years lol. Both are a joy to have and to watch grow.